imported>Uberfukken at 00:00, 12 March 2019

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	== External links ==		== External links ==
	*[http://textfiles.com/ duh]		*[http://textfiles.com/ duh]
	*~~<s>~~[http://~~www~~.~~totse2~~.com TOTSE2]~~</s>~~		*[https://web.archive.org/web/20150206004642/http://totse.rdfrn.com/ TOTSE Archive, via REDFERN/TOTSE2]

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	*[[Bombshock]]		*[[Bombshock]]
	*[[Old School]]		*[[Old School]]
			*[[WIRED]]
	{{oldweb}}		{{oldweb}}
			{{softwarez}}
	[[Category:Softwarez]]		[[Category:Softwarez]]
	[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]		[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

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← Older revision	Revision as of 18:28, 14 October 2014
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[[Image:Avirusinnotepad.png|thumb|300px|right|A typical text file]][[Image:Col-cbm64.jpeg|box|right|thumb|This is where T-PHILEZ come from. (Click for Urine Box Plans!!!!!111!ZMOG1!]][[Image:Modem-vorne-index.JPG|box|right|thumb|A MODEM was a pre-internet drama generating device. It also converted T-PHILEZ into [[ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOAT|BEEPS]] and [[Boobs|BOOPS]].]]
Back in the good old days of the internet before [[girls]] were [[no girls on the internet|allowed]], everyone was seeking information that was too hot for school libraries. The first generation of basement dwelling [[H4X0r]]s set up crude dial up [[BBS|bulletin board systems]], dial-up hours 11PM to 6AM only, where they distributed their [[1337]] E-zine textfiles through this early series of six or [[Ted Stevens|less tubes]]. Before we carry on, it should be noted that these textfiles were refereed to as "philes", "textfilez", "T-PHILEZ" or any other stupid shit that hackers thought would sound cool. 98[[%]] of the textfiles on the internet today are from this [[1980s|ancient era]].

Moreover, the information on this Information Super Highway consisted only of excerpts from [[The Anarchist Cookbook]], [[Paladin-Press]] publications, and pirated copies of Commandar Keen. It is worth noting that there was pornography, however only on the [[gay]] thoroughfares.

While most of the authors of textfiles were either prepubescent or in their early teen-years, the authors of these angst-ridden poorly spelled love letters to growing up in suburbia are now grown-ups. Moreover, thanks to Jason Scott and his [http://www.textfiles.com Pre-Internet Drama Archive], it is now possible to blackmail them IRL by threatening to publicize [http://www.textfiles.com/hacking/novhack.txt embarrassing things they wrote over 15 years ago]. Thus, one can generate [[A plus|A++++++++]] Internets drama out of pre-internets drama.

==Internet Anarchy==
The first and most famous t3xtph1l3z0rxz of them all was the infamous '''"[[The Anarchist Cookbook]]"'''. Having this textfile made you an instant [[internet tough guy]] as well as giving you a 20+ [[ego]] boost. With the anarchist's cookbook, you were unstoppable! Classmates and the police cowered in your shining knowledge of how to [[pyro|blow shit up]] and whip up homemade drugs. This was originally translated from the [[IRL]] book of the same name by a [[13 year old boy]]; nothing could have possibly gone wrong with this interpretation. Every other textfile afterwards were either one of the trillion variations on the original, school pranks, and/or other useless [[faggotry]].

==Textfiles Today==
The textfiles of the old internet are still circulated to this day by such sites as [[Totse]] and [[Bombshock]], but [[noone]] really cares. Most textfiles nowadays are [[GameFAQs|videogame walkthroughs for fucking retards]] and/or those damn readme files that have no important information, because the fuck programmer decided to use a 10 megabyte help file instead, but still included the readme. The problem with internet users today, is that they all have [[ADD]] and consider textfiles [[TL;DR]]. The solution? Create small snippets of the original anarchist cookbook, put them all on a distribution site with a network of [[13 year old boy]]s. This solution was the site called: [[RottenEggs]].

Textfiles are also used to make read-mes,which come as a [[rape|surprise bonus]] with every single program ever. Contrary to the name, nobody ever reads them.

===[[Text files]] According to a [[16 year old girl|16 Year Old Girl]]===
[[Image:Letter to grandma.jpg|thumb|300px|Writing to Grandma using a text file]]
[[OMG|omg]] i got dis new version of [[crap|windowz]] n it has a [[cool|kEwL]] [[english|w3rd]] processor call [[notepad]]. U can save stuff as text filez, witch onlee suports basic [[engrish|charektarz]], da defolt sistem font, and know imagezzz!!! I is sooooooo [[1337]][[oneoneone|!!!!11!1!]]

==Users Familiar With Text Filez==
*[[User:OldDirtyBtard|OldDirtyBtard]]
*[[Richard Stallman]]
*[[User:Tfo|Tfo]]
*[[Bill Gates]]
*[[Linus Torvalds]]
*[[woz]]
*Me
*anybody who has edited anything besides their homework

==Users Not familer with T-philz==
*[[you]]
*Anyone who uses this [[apple|shit]]
*Steve Jobs
*hipsters
*[[13 year old boys]]

==textfiles.com==

'''textfiles.com''' is a website that lets people born after 1975 experience the glory days of [[shit nobody cares about|BBS culture]]. An archive of (wait for it) text files written by [[basement-dwelling]] 13-year-olds, Textfiles is the first place you should look if you want to build a [[Islam|bomb]] [http://www.textfiles.com/anarchy/toliet.bomb], commit [[Identity theft|credit card fraud]] [http://www.textfiles.com/anarchy/CARDING/], [[raep|seduce]] a [[furry|girl]] [http://www.textfiles.com/100/lay-girl.txt], or burn down your middle school. Of course, if you want to do any of these things ''[[Fail|successfully]]'', you might be advised to look elsewhere.

== External links ==
*[http://textfiles.com/ duh]
*<s>[http://www.totse2.com TOTSE2]</s>

[[Category:Sites]]

==See Also==
*[[Paladin-Press]] (Gave birth to textfiles)
*[[Ascii art]]
*[[Cult of the Dead Cow]]
*[[Anarchy]]
*[[Totse]]
*[[RottenEggs]]
*[[Bombshock]]
*[[Old School]]

{{oldweb}}
[[Category:Softwarez]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

Text Files - Revision history

imported>Uberfukken at 00:00, 12 March 2019

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