imported>Elvis: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

2011-11-13T02:59:47Z

Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

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[[Image:Scilonsssf.jpg|thumb]]

'''A "Sec Check"''' (security check) is a kind of [[torture|interrogation]] that the [[retards|big shots]] of a [[Scientology]] "org" will give to a person when there is a chance they may have been exposed to something that conflicts with [[batshit insane|official Scientology doctrine]]. This happens a lot, as the existence of everything else in the universe proves that Scientology is complete nonsense. For example, if a Scientologist reads a web site critical of the cult, and then reports this to the org (which they are required to do, and which they always do), the leaders will insist upon giving a sec check. The interrogations are grueling and silly. There are sec checks for all occasions, and there are [[Child Abuse|especially harsh sec checks for children]]. Sometimes the interrogators will gang up on the victim, an event known as a "[[rape|gang-bang sec check]]."

Here is an example of something called a "Whole Track Sec Check." As always, the [[victim]] is hooked up to the [http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/E-Meter/index.html "e-meter"] (a <s>primitive</s> fake lie detector) and interrogated for hours with the following insane questions.

[[Image:E-meter.jpg|thumb|E-meter]]
[[Image:Emeter.jpg|thumb|The iMeter]]
[[Image:Buttseccheck.jpg|thumb|400px]]
[[Image:Safeauditing.jpg|thumb|400px|Always practice safe auditin']]
[[Image:Scilonse.jpg|thumb|400px|oh god]]
[[Image:Fuckingfreezing.jpg|thumb|400px|YES YES OH GOD YES]]
[[Image:Is-that-what-I-think-it-is.jpg|thumb|400px|The creamy results.]]
[[Image:stress-test.jpg|thumb|300px|Where is my Drink ???, Garçon one Beer plz]]

==Whole Track Sec Check==
*Have you ever enslaved a population?
*Have you ever implanted anyone?
*Have you ever sacked a city?
*Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, a non-combatant vessel?
*Have you ever abused hostages, or prisoners?
*Have you ever ordered, or yourself committed, genocide?
*Have you ever annihilated a population?
*Have you ever poisoned food or drinking supplies?
*Have you ever strangled anyone?
*Have you ever deliberately spread disease?
*Have you ever degraded a religion?
*Have you ever raped a child of either sex?
*Have you ever warped an educational system?
*Have you ever deprived people of hope?
*Have you ever committed murder?
*Have you ever destroyed a culture?
*Have you ever forced anyone into an undesired beingness?
*Have you ever stolen a body from another being?
*Have you ever destroyed an economy?
*Is anybody seeking to discover your whereabouts?
*Have you ever violated a nation's neutrality?
*Have you ever broken a treaty?
*Have you ever blanketed bodies for the sensation trick?
*Have you ever upset an ecology?
*Have you persecuted others for their religious or political beliefs?
*Have you ever interfered with the free flow of trade?
*Have you ever been a crook?
*Have you ever obliterated a language?
*Have you ever stamped out a religion?
*Have you ever deliberately trained people in untruths for power, or profit?
*Have you ever defiled religious places, persons, or objects?
*Have you ever practiced terrorism?
*Have you ever done anything you would not like to think of yourself as having done?
*Have you ever been a coward?
*Have you ever trapped a thetan?
*Have you ever prided yourself on your wickedness?
*Have you ever destroyed artistic productions, or creations?
*Have you burned literature?
*Have you ever forbidden people to practice their own customs?
*Have you ever perverted a people's customs?
*Have you ever done anything which you hoped would be wiped out by the passage of time?
*Do you deserve to be punished into eternity for something you've done?
*If so, what is it?
*Have you ever exposed infants?
*Have you ever bred bodies for degrading purposes?
*Is there anything you would have done differently if you had had more data?
*Have you ever forced beings into unwanted bodies?
*Have you deliberately prevented beings from exteriorizing?
*Have you done anything to a person, group, or thing that wasn't deserved?
*Have you ever deserted a just cause?
*Have you ever debased a nation's [[lioncash|currency]]?
*Have you ever deliberately tortured someone?
*Have you ever enslaved another being?
*Have you ever gained, or maintained, a position by portraying yourself as victimized?
*Have you ever undermined a people's trust?
*Have you driven anyone insane?
*Have you ever been a professional prostitute?
*Have you ever been a criminal?
*Have you ever trained people for criminal purposes?
*Have you ever been a pervert?
*Have you ever recruited anyone for an unworthy purpose?
*Have you ever traded in others' bodies for profit or power?
*Have you ever stolen a mock-up or facsimile?
*Have you ever usurped a location?
*Have you ever made things scarce so that you might profit unfairly?
*Have you ever made a practice of creating emergencies?
*Have you ever practiced human sacrifice?
*Have you ever assumed a beingness which was not rightfully yours?
*Have you ever killed the wrong person?
*Have you ever punished an innocent person?
*Is anybody looking for you?
*Have you ever systematically degraded an individual, or population, or mock-up?
*Have you ever unlawfully, or unethically, deserted a post?
*Have you betrayed someone, or something, which deserved your help?
*Have you ever set a poor example?
*Have you ever perverted the institutions of a culture for your own personal power or profit?
*Have you ever denied yourself?
*Have you ever betrayed yourself?
*Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
*Have you ever acted contrary to your own principles?
*Have you ever failed a friend?
*Have you ever sought to render others dependent on you?
*Have you ever abused those under your protection?
*Have you ever destroyed farmland, crops, or breeding stock?
*Have you ever despoiled a planet of its natural resources?
*Are you in hiding?
*Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?
*Have you ever wrecked a climate?
*Have you ever systematically set up mysteries?
*Have you ever made nothing of yourself?
*Have you ever made a profession of destruction?
*Have you ever enturbulated an orderly environment?
*Have you ever been a traitor?
*Have you ever deliberately lowered another's knowingness, or ability?
*Have you ever maimed, and crippled, other people's bodies?
*Have you ever pretended to a power you did not possess?
*Have you ever stolen ships, draft, vessels, or vehicles belonging to a government?
*Have you ever disappeared?
*Have you ever killed your own body?
*Have you ever pretended to a knowingness you did not possess?
*Have you ever caused a planet to disappear?
*Have you ever felt the ends justified the means?
*Have you ever given cause a bad name?
*Have you ever discredited the creations of others?
*Have you ever been off post at a time when you were desperately needed?
*Have you ever convinced another that he has mocked up an unconfrontability?
*Have you ever deliberately mocked up an unconfrontability?
*Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
*Have you perverted historical truths for any reason?
*Have you deliberately sent someone to the wrong place, or the wrong person?
*Have you ever been a professional spy, or intelligence agent?
*Have you made a practice of worrying people?
*Have you consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?
*Have you demonstrated that control is impossible?
*Have you ever wrecked a vehicle, or vessel?
*Have you ever pretended to be dead?
*What question should be on this check for others?
*Have you ever convinced another of the injustice of his cause?
*Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
*Have you ever claimed it harmed you to do something?
*Have you ever deliberately disfigured another's body?
*Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?
*Have you ever blinded anyone?
*Have you ever destroyed another's hearing?
*Have you ever knocked someone's teeth out?
*Have you ever punished another by cutting off some part of his body?
*Have you ever been a parasite?
*Is there anything you have sworn off being?
*Is there anything you have sworn off doing?
*Is there anything you have sworn off having?
*Have you ever given a degraded, or debased, example of divinity?
*Have you ever perverted a communication system?
*Have you ever been a professional critic?
*Have you ever held others in pawn for profit?
*Have you ever presumed on the natural goodness of another?
*Have you ever caused another to mistrust you?
*Have you ever made a burden of yourself?
*Have you ever gone crazy?
*Have you ever sought to persuade another of your insanity?
*Have you ever deliberately mutilated bodies?
*Have you ever deliberately mutilated objects?
*Have you heightened sexual sensation by inflicting pain?
*Have you ever caused something to appear at an unexpected time?
*Have you ever caused something to appear in an unexpected place?
*Have you ever maltreated a pregnant woman, or pregnant animal?
*Have you ever corrupted a child?
*Have you ever sought to convince others of their guilt?
*Have you ever started a war?
*Have you ever caused your own side to loose?
*Have you deliberately distorted others' ideas?
*Have you ever manipulated beings as though they were MEST? [Matter, Energy, Space and Time]
*Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?
*Have you ever sought to convince beings that they were MEST?
*Have you ever tried to persuade others there were thoughts they mustn't think?
*Have you ever sought to put another's thinkingness out of his control?
*Have you ever permitted a subordinate of yours to be punished for your mistakes?
*Have you ever tried to shift blame on to a superior of yours?
*Have you ever smothered a baby?
*Have you ever inflicted physical pain on an insane person for any reason?
*Have you ever taken pride in and cultivated a wrongness?
*Have you ever worshiped wrongness in others?
*Have you ever sought to make others unwilling to produce?
*Have you ever wiped out a family?
*Have you ever rewarded another, or a group, for a wrongness?
*Have you ever had sexual relations with an animal, or bird?
*Have you ever participated in a sexual relationship between a doll body and a human body?
*Have you ever destroyed a doll body?
*Have you ever lost a doll body entrusted to you?
*Have you ever punished another, or a group, for a rightness?
*Have you ever permitted another to be punished for your misdeed?
*Have you ever perpetuated an injustice?
*Have you ever been brutal to animals?
*Have you ever denied others a means of existence?
*Have you ever deserted your own children?
*Have you ever refused to support your parents, or grandparents?
*Have you ever denied others a redressment of grievances?
*Have you ever caused another to distrust himself?
*Have you ever caused another to identify himself with a form in order to enslave him?
*Have you ever given anyone the third degree?
*Have you ever validated the insanity of another being or group?
*Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?
*Have you ever warped, or distorted, bodies for sexual purposes?
*Have you ever wanted to disown a deed of yours?
*Do you deserve to have any friends?
*Have you ever castrated anyone?
*Have you ever wrongfully claimed another's deeds as your own?
*Have you ever robbed a dead body?
*Have you ever made love to a dead body?
*Do you deserve to be free?
*Do you deserve to be enslaved?
*Is there any question on this check I had better not ask you again?
*Have you ever considered another didn't deserve to be sane?
*Have you ever considered another didn't deserve to be free?
*Have you ever considered another didn't deserve to be well?
*Have you ever considered another didn't deserve to be alive?
*Have you ever made MEST guilty of harming you?
*Have you ever made another guilty of doing you permanent harm?
*Have you ever forced another to compete?
*Have you ever pretended to be unable to repair a form?
*Have you ever refused to put back into order a disorder you created?
*Have you ever shot, or stabbed, someone in the back?
*Have you ever been disloyal?
*Have you ever been treacherous?
*Have you ever engaged in piracy?
*Have you ever made an outrageous, or preposterous, will?
*Have you ever thrown the ownership of property into doubt?
*Have you ever demonstrated that communication is impossible?
*Have you ever withheld useful data?
*Have you ever created chaos?
*Have you ever consistently made a practice of furnishing useless data?
*Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?
*Have you ever caused another to mistrust his judgement?
*Have you ever convinced another he was guilty of a crime, or misdeed, which he had not in fact committed?
*Have you ever sought to convince another that there was something wrong with him?
*Have you ever practiced medicine unethically?
*Have you ever practiced law, or jurisprudence, unethically?
*Have you ever sought to convince another that everything was the same as everything else, so it didn't matter what he did?
*Have you ever spread despair?
*Have you ever kept effective solutions from working?
*Have you ever sought to convince another that there was no difference between right and wrong?
*Have you ever been a pimp?
*Have you ever given families a bad name?
*Have you ever produced a criminal?
*Have you ever assisted an evildoer?
*Have you ever driven a population into criminality?
*Have you ever used criminality as a means of control of a population?
*Have you ever made sanity appear to be psychotic?
*Have you ever been a psychiatrist?
*Have you ever depopulated an area?
*Have you ever deprived another of a livelihood?
*Have you ever given God a bad name?
*Have you ever been a corrupt priest?
*Have you ever given spirits an evil reputation?
*Have you ever been an evil spirit?
*Have you ever sought to convince others that things were evil?
*Have you ever taught others that nothing can be done?
*Have you ever tried to convince others that knowing is bad? That perceiving is bad? That sensation is bad?
*Have you ever deliberately caused a sane person to be committed to a mental institution?
*Have you ever performed unnecessary surgery on someone's body?
*Have you ever tried to convince others that things are bad? That there are bad beingnesses? That it is bad to do things?
*Have you ever mocked another's ability?
*Have you ever mocked another's knowingness?
*Have you ever mocked another's creativeness?
*Have you ever applied a hot iron to another person's body?
*Have you ever tortured another with electrical, or electronic, devices?
*Have you ever attacked others for causing effects that you secretly knew were beneficial, or helpful?
*Have you ever deliberately caused others to feel less responsible?
*Have you ever beaten a child to death?
*Have you ever starved anyone to death?
*Have you ever left anyone to die of thirst?
*Have you ever misestimated an effort?
*Have you ever misjudged another?
*Have you ever failed to save someone from drowning?
*Have you ever knowingly sponsored a swindle?
*Have you ever failed another?
*Have you ever wasted time when you ought not to have?
*Have you ever retreated from an area where you should have stayed, or advanced?
*Have you ever wasted men? Women? Children? Objects? An ability? Animals? Thoughts? Spaces? Energy?
*Have you ever made nothing of a worthy person? Of a group? Of a universe? Of a spirit?
*Have you failed in any way to live up to your own ideas of how you should be?
*Have you ever broken someone's body on a wheel?
*Have you ever stretched another's body on a rack?
*Have you ever put a criminal in a position of trust?
*Have you ever sold people on the idea that people are basically wicked?
*Have you ever boiled someone's living body in oil?
*Have you ever eaten a human body?
*Have you ever eaten the body of a member of your own species?
*Have you ever exterminated a species?
*Have you ever let your past triumphs discourage you about your future?
*Have you ever flayed anyone alive?
*Have you ever been a professional executioner?
*Have you ever done a bad thing to win approval?
*Have you ever been a dishonest policeman?
*Have you ever asked how to shot web?
*Have you ever been a brutal gaoler?
*Have you ever been a corrupt judge?
*Have you ever been a bad soldier?
*Have you ever done a bad thing to save yourself?
*Have you ever done a bad thing to save another?
*Have you ever been an ungrateful child?
*Have you ever been a wicked mother?
*Have you ever been a bad father?
*Have you ever convinced another that his goals were no good?
*Have you ever been an abortionist?
*Have you ever run a brothel?
*Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?
*Have you ever produced a bastard?
*Have you ever convinced another that he shouldn't confront someone, or something?
*Have you ever failed to send, or deliver, a vital message?
*Have you committed rape?
*Have you employed poison gas against life forms?
*Have you ever put up a discreditable creation?
*Have you ever taught that it was bad for people to have things?
*Have you ever deliberately infected life forms with disease?
*Have you ever made a body disappear?
*Have you ever consistently made a practice of attacking people who helped you?
*Have you ever perverted an ethic?
*Have you ever consistently made a practice of attacking those who helped others?
*Have you ever abused, or tortured, life forms?
*Have you ever inflicted an unwarranted punishment?
*Have you ever enforced breeding?
*Have you ever desecrated burial places?
*Have you ever attacked helpless persons?
*Have you ever denied anyone a desired beingness?
*Have you ever caused another being to create against his own wishes or interests?
*Have you ever zapped anyone?
*Have you deliberately set property afire?
*Have you ever created an affect for which there was no apparent cause?
*Have you ever interiorized a being into a machine?
*Have you ever forced a body to survive against its owner's wishes?
*Have you ever arrested the development of a culture?
*Is there any place you'd better not return to?
*Is there anything the people of Earth had better not find out about you?
*Is there any time you'd better not return to?
*Have you done anything that had better not happen again?
*Have you ever given creativeness a bad name?
*Have you given biological bodies a bad name?
*Have you given doll bodies a bad name?
*Have you given robots a bad name?
*What should others be warned about concerning you?
*What don't you trust yourself with?
*Is there anything you can't forgive yourself for?
*Is there anything others should not forgive you for?
*Have you ever caused equipment entrusted to your care to vanish?
*Have you ever acted as a double agent?
*Have you ever misappropriated equipment entrusted to your care?
*Have you ever interrogated another under torture?
*Have you ever caused anyone to be burned alive?
*Have you ever misappropriated funds entrusted to your care?
*Have you ever violated the sanctity of a herald?
*Have you ever violated a flag of truce, or a period of truce?
*Have you ever caused someone to be flogged to death?
*Have you ever been a religious fanatic?
*Have you ever assassinated a prominent person?
*Have you ever blown anything up?
*Have you ever violated a sanctuary?
*Have you ever poisoned an atmosphere?
*Have you ever set a booby trap?
*Have you ever violated the established rules of warfare?
*Have you ever made yourself out to be weaker than you in fact were?
*Have you ever made yourself out to be stronger than you in fact were?
*Have you ever promised help without intending to give it?
*Have you ever abandoned your sick, or dead, to the enemy?
*Have you ever failed to rescue your leader?

If you answer "yes" to 90% of these questions, then, and ONLY then, are you ready for Sea Org.
Note: Anonymous scores over 100%.

==Full Track Dick Check==

A "Dick Check" (short for "Complete Fucking Dick") is necessary when one's acquaintance refuses to stop dropping memes and internet catchphrases into regular conversation (see [[Chronic Troll Syndrome]]). The subject is hooked up to a D-Meter (a kind of lie detector consisting of a car battery and some wet crocodile clips) and asked the following questions.

*Have you ever [[Don't Taze Me Bro|tased a bro]]?
*Have you ever [[L-L-LUNAJACK%21|jacked a luna]]?
*Have you ever [[Mudkip|lieked a mudkip]]?
*Have you ever [[Faux News|bought a dog]]?
*Have you ever [[Faux News|corrupted a LOL]]?
*Have you ever [[Milhouse|forced a meme]]?
*Have you ever [[How Do I Shot Web?|shot a web]]?
*Have you ever [[fail|had a cheezburgar]]?
*Have you ever switched on a police?
*Have you ever enjoyed your [[AIDS]]?
*Have you ever rolled a [[Rickroll|Rick]], or [[Duckroll|duck]]?
*Have you ever [[Women|gone back to a kitchen]], or [[Gaia]]?
*Have you ever stolen a [[bike]], or if you are white, an [[Mitchell Henderson|iPod]]?
*Have you ever [[I DIDN'T EAT THAT FUCKIN SANDWICH OR THE TOILET THING EITHER!|eaten a sandwich, or toilet thing]]?
*If yes, [[Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich|were you able to enjoy the sandwich]]?
*Have you ever, [[Chuggo|aaah, fucked a guy]]?
*Have you ever [[Habbo Hotel|closed a pool]]?
*Have you ever [[Snapesnogger|known a naga]]?
*Have you ever [[All Your Base|set up us a bomb]]?
*Have you ever [[Bel-Air|whistled for a cab]]?
*Have you ever [[Leeroy Jenkins|had chicken]]?
*Have you ever [[Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this|expressed difficulty in believing that you've done this]]?
*Have you ever screwed a rule?
*Have you ever [[Chris Crocker|left Britney alone]]?
*Have you ever [[Having A Wonderful Time|had a wonderful time]]?
*Have you ever [[Is this Battletoads|battled a toad]]?
*Have you ever [[I need a price check ...|checked a price]]?
*Have you ever [[How is babby formed?|formed a babby]]?
*Have you ever [[I am in your base killing your d00ds|killed a dood]]?
*Have you ever become [[an hero]]?
*Are you [[BitingBeaver|a rapist]]?
*Have you ever been a stranger to love?
*Have you ever known the rules?
*Have you ever thought of full commitment?
*Have you ever gotten this from any other guy?
*Have you ever told me how you're feelin'?
*Have you ever made me understand?
*Have you ever given me up?
*Have you ever let me down?
*Have you ever ran around?
*Have you ever deserted me?
*Have you ever made me cry?
*Have you ever said goodbye?
*Have you ever told a lie?
*Have you ever hurt me?

If the subject responds to most or all of the questions by smirking as if he's a member in some [[Anonymous|secret fucking club]], then the auditor and case supervisor will conduct him into a washing machine full of bricks until he learns to separate the internet from real life.
[[image:i-centimeter.jpg|center]]

{{scientology}}
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:Chanology]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:59, 13 November 2011
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Sec Check - Revision history

imported>Elvis: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

imported>Elvis: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

imported>Elvis: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

imported>Elvis: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown