imported>1sam234: /* Dante Scaglione/Snifitdude */ No dox

2015-06-19T06:47:08Z

Dante Scaglione/Snifitdude: No dox

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[[Image:2600.jpg|thumb|right|The console of choice for true [[Ripper|hardcore]] retro kids!]]

A plague is sweeping our beloved [[Internet]]; the plague of the '''Retro Video Game Kid'''. Just like [[video game reviewers]], Retro Video Game Kids ''(short: RVGKs)'' are a new mutation of the [[GRIDS|AIDS]] that is killing [[YouTube]]. RVGKs are little more than [[shota|young autistic children]] who love collecting ''(Not to be confused with actually playing them)'' [[Retro|old video games]] - not for the sake of [[Nostalgia|sharing memories]] ''(which is quite obvious since they weren't shat out of their mother's [[Tentacle rape|crusty vagina]] before games like [[AVGN|MC Kids]] were released)'' but for the sake of being [[cool]]. That, and their families are too poor to afford [[Halo|Halo 3]], so they fob them off with [[SNES|20 year old shit]] from garage sales.

However, [[you]] should note that they're <s>probably</s> [[pwnd|bullied and beaten]] at school because they're [[You|fat loners with no lives]]. And what happens when [[4chan|fat loners with no life discover the Internet and share the same interests in a close circlejerk]]? A new shitty Internet subculture is born.

==How to Identify a Retro Video Game Kid==
Retro Video Game Kids have a lot in common and randomly discovering one of them on YouTube is [[X? in my Y?|more likely than you think]]. But instead of [[TL;DR|delivering a five-paragraph long pamphlet about the characteristics these people like to share]] which [[you]] won't care to read anyway, our [[CSIII|top scientists]] summed them up and created a [[Bingo]] card, thus making [[sociology]] more comical. [[Goatse|Fun for the whole family!]]

==Major Players==
Much like in video games, there are certain characters in the RVGK [[cult]] who stand out above the others, whether it's because their stats are higher than others ''(They own more shitty [[retro]] games)'' or because they manage to maintain a larger adventuring party ''(They have more [[retarded]] subscribers)''. Whatever the case may be, they have earned their spots on this list, for your [[masturbation|reading pleasure]].

===EarthWormJim55 / [[Acid|Megabubbles]][[69|31]] / Pokemonmanx1 / Max Baker===

'''Max Baker''', a young autistic obnoxious boastful [[USI|self-important faggot]], is the person responsible for the whole [[Anonymous|movement]].

He ''(and the movement itself)'' gained attention when [http://metokur.blip.tv/file/3569716/ NintendosAdvocate2], an [[Chris-Chan|obese and insecure sexist gaming manchild who leeches off the government and spends his SSI money on video games]], closed his account after a [[YouTube Commentaries#METOKUR|group of YouTube trolls]] called him out on his bullshit. Being one of NintendosAdvocate2's most obsessive [[fanboys]], ''("He liked to collect crappy old [[retro]] games just like me! OMG HE IS MY IDOL!!11")'' Max Baker threw a shitfit of epic proportions, posting harsh comments on the troll's channel such as these:

{{quote|come on! leave youtube!|Max|fully unleashing his fury.}}
{{quote|how do you have sex with your penis?|Max|displaying that he skipped Sex Ed at school}}
{{quote|(insert ASCII art of four middle fingers here)|Max|being [[Autistic|artistic]].}}

These comments intrigued the trolls and other assorted onlookers, and prompted them to take a look at Max's channel. And so, the sick subcultural mess that is the Retro Video Game Kid [[emo|scene]] was discovered. He [[DELETE_FUCKING_EVERYTHING|deleted all his YouTube videos]] ''(possibly at the request of his parents)'' after he was trolled for several months, including a number of prank calls to his parents and his school.

[[troll|Internet archaeologists]] tried to enshrine some precious snippets of his [[Pain|angelic voice]] and [[smug|smug fucking face]], from his few surviving videos they had saved on their hard drives ''(Which they had used to produce a number of parody videos)''. Then, they realized that [[lol|he forgot to delete his videos on his second account]], which made things much easier.

<center>
{{fv|maxbaker|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>Hm6Cq_AXVnc</youtube>
<center>[[Lie|Quality reviewing.]]</center>
|<youtube>l9RCxQc0ixs</youtube>
<center>Angelic voice and quality capture methods, [[No|No?]]</center>
|<youtube>KP_sW5QCQVQ</youtube>
<center>Still abusing his games 3 years later</center>
|<youtube>IrcG12Hb0w0</youtube>
<center>He's a [[ponyfag]] now. Surprise surprise.</center>
}}</center>

He has since returned to YouTube as {{youtube2|pokemonmanx1|pokemonmanx1}}, confirmed by the fact he had previously used the handle to post his video game collection on a now defunct [[Pokemon]] forum.

* '''Skype:''' Megabubbles31/EarthWormJim55 
* {{youtube2|maxbaker35|Max's first YouTube account}} 
* {{youtube2|earthwormjim55|Max's second YouTube account}} ''(Primary channel until his initial trolling)'' 
* {{youtube2|EarthwormJim55Alt|Max's third YouTube account}} ''(Alternate channel used to post videos attacking [[METOKUR]])'' 
* {{youtube2|Megabubbles31|Max's fourth YouTube account}} ''(Was operated by Brent Strong / Gamesforall129, now closed)'' 
* {{youtube2|pokemonmanx1|Max's fifth YouTube account}} ''(Abandoned and closed)'' 
* {{youtube2|97megaman3|He had this account at one point, but nobody knows when}} 
* {{youtube2|Banboy99|Max's father's YouTube account}} 
* {{youtube2|TheMrmaximum21|Max's seventh account, now closed}} 
* '''[http://earthwormjim55.newgrounds.com/ Newgrounds account] '''
* '''[http://www.mediafire.com/EarthwormJim55 Video archive available for download (dead)]'''

=== [[Communist|Gamesforall]]129 / Brent [[Pussy|Strong]] ===

[[You|Remember that kid at school who thought he'd make it big]] and [[Unrealistic expectations|become world-renowned]]? Well, that's '''Brent Strong''' - the lovechild of Max Baker's autism and [[Alexander4488]]'s [[USI|ego]]. Brent may look [[gay|harmless]], but BE WARNED: If you [[troll|annoy]] him or [[troll|criticize]] his video series called the "[[LSD|Brent Strong Experience]]", he will [http://www.viddler.com/explore/METOKUR/videos/136/ respond to you] in the same way all other [[Chris-chan|self-bloated autistic faggots]] respond to negativity:

{{quote|You're all fucking pussy ass bitch cunt fuckers with no life. If you did, you wouldn't be picking on people because of their problems. You're all fucking douchebags who make shitty videos that are even shittier than mine. Yes, I'll admit my videos are shit. But you douchebags will go out of your ways to insult others. I think you need to get a life. Fuck you.|Brent|[[Sarcasm|Look at all those swear words, he is such a badass, right guys?]].}}

Once you feel the Brent Strong Experience you turn Brentally Challenged just ask Marlon he was the worst to feel the Brent Strong Experience.

Dayum, Brent, that sure was a diss! But hold on: Brent is so [[pussy|badass]] that he bothers to create a [[Tl;dw|FOURTEEN MINUTES LONG]] rant on why [[dumb|he hates being taught]].

Obviously Brent [[Internet Tough Guy|ain't nothing to fuck with]]. But wait - if he hates [[ED|us]] that much, why did he register <s>two accounts</s>, not two, not four, but [[User:Gamesforall129|SIX]] [[User:Gamesforall129o|DIFFERENT]] [[User:Pokewhiz7|FUCKING]] [[User:Vince|ED]] [[User:Gamesforall12|ACCOUNTS]] [[User:PokemonManX|HERE]]? Could it be that Brent has given up the fight and decided to become a [[troll]] himself? Nah: [[Butthurt|He's just here to vandalize any article that makes mention of him]], and to have [[Irate Gamer|any videos featuring his likeness removed using false copyright claims]]. Clearly, he has no interest in trolling, and we shou-

[[Image:B-rent.png|center|thumb|425px|[[attention whore|Because if you are a 1337 troll everyone will love you]]]]

[[HA HA HA, OH WOW|It looks like this is the first time that ED has actually been wrong!]] Calling [[GameStop]] and asking for [[Battletoads]] in [[2010]] is ''STILL'' [[Newfag|totally funny and relevant]]! We at [[ED]] think Brent should be left alone because he's [[Troll Shielding|clearly one of us]]. Right? [[No|RIGHT]]?

* <s>{{youtube2|gamesforall129o|Brent's YouTube account}}</s> ''Lol, B&''
* <s>{{youtube2|gamesforall129|"Backup" YouTube account}}</s> ''Closed''
* {{youtube2|KonamiFan97|Brent's third YouTube account}}
* <s>{{youtube2|GamingNetworkCentral|Brent's Fourth account}}</s> ''Closed''
* {{youtube2|DrStrongBad|Brent's Fifth account}}
* '''[http://www.revver.com/u/gamesforall12o/ Brent's Revver account]'''
* [[User:Gamesforall129|ED Account Numero Uno]]
* [[User:Gamesforall129o|ED Account Numero Dos]]
* [[User:Pokewhiz7|ED Account Numero Tres]]
* [[User:Gamesforall12|ED Account Numero Cuatro]]
* [[User:PokemonManX|ED Account Numero Cinco]]
* [[User:Vince|ED Account Numero Seis]]

===[[Princess Diana|RenyruIez]] / Reny Carrillo===

{{quote|hi mr. penis cleanis!|Reny|expressing... seriously, what the fuck is this}}

'''Reny [[Mexico|Carrillo]]''' is a fat, under aged beaner, and a filthy [[attention whore]]. He is responsible for a game reviewing series by the name of {{youtube2|ther3trovideogamekid|The Retro Video Game Kid}}. [[Angry Video Game Nerd|Sound familiar]]?

Unfortunately that same aforementioned group of YouTube trolls discovered his reviews and did what they do best: [[Trolling|They exploited his weakness for their own amusement]]. Then, Reny revealed himself to be a potential [[lolcow]] by his way of responding. Instead of creating shitty [[anti-troll]] videos or [[Internet petition|e-petitions]], he decided to post something along the lines of "[[i told u i was hardcore]]", and continued hinting at his upcoming [[an_hero|suicide]]. Shocked by the plans of such a young Mexican fellow, [[Internet Humanitarianism|Internet Humanitarians]] tried to convince him that suicide is not a solution. Of course, the aforementioned suicide [[pussy|never happened]], and everyone realized that Reny is just a pathological liar and an [[Attention whore|attention whoring dumbass]].
* {{youtube2|RenyRuiez|Reny's YouTube account}}
http://steamcommunity.com/id/renyrulez

The following video by Reny is another example of [[Gay|how close the RVGK circlejerk]] really is: They actually [[email|send]] fucking retro game [[Modern Warfare 2|care packages]] to each other.

===[[Ulrichthehedgehog]] / [[Power Word|Connor McCoy]]===
[[Image:Ulrichdeathnote.jpg|thumb|right|[[Aspie]], [[Furfag]], [[Weeaboo]], [[Spax3]] Cosplayer and the worst of all: RVGK.]]
[[Image:Uuuulrich.jpg‎|thumb|right|Ulrichthehedgehog, [[Masturbation|doing his thing]].]]

Before it was known that he was a [[furfag]] with a [[vore]] [[fetish]], '''[[Ulrichthehedgehog]]''' (AKA {{Pastebin|f4f56263d|Connor McCoy}}) appeared to simply be an average, young, [[autistic]] male, who just so happened to review retro video games on his {{youtube2|Ulrichthehedgehog|YouTube channel}}. In fact, it was a commentary by [[YouTube Commentaries#METOKUR|those lovable aforementioned YouTube trolls]] over his review of the [[NES]] [[Gun|Zapper]] that got the [[Katamari Damacy|ball rolling]].

*<s>{{deviantart|Ulrichthehedgehog|Ulrichthehedgehog}} on dA - hid/deleted his drawings</s> - BAWWLETED
**<s>[http://ulrichthehedgehog.deviantart.com/journal/ Journal still accessible]</s>
**[[:Image:UlrichthehedgehogsdeviantARTgallerypg1.png|Cached page of Connor's dA gallery]]
*{{youtube2|Ulrichthehedgehog|Ulrichthehedgehog}} on YouTube (still active) - privatized/deleted his videos
**{{youtube2|edong9000|Mirror account}} with archived videos, including his [[Shit|awesome]] retro game reviews

=== [[Retard|LorenzoThe]][[Unfunny|Comic]] / black person ===

'''Lorenzo Parker''' is a black person 17-year-old [[Autistic|retarded]] RVGK [[Furfag|Furry]] [[Plushie|Plushfag]] in denial, who attempts to [[Fail|troll]] the other RVGKs so that that he will not be [[pussy|trolled]]. In the past, Lorenzo's YouTube videos consisted of him making [[Video Game Reviewers|video game reviews]] with the help of his [[Sonic|Sonic]], [[Pokemon|Pokemon]], and [[Mario|Mario]] plushies. More recently, his videos have been nothing but gameplay of his shitty Game Maker games, which he will usually [[Delete fucking everything|remove]] within several hours.

He made a very [[Autistic|creative]] game about the RVGK's, it was really [[Shit|shitty]] and he [[Butthurt|forgot]] to add him self.

This {{youtube2|LorenzoTheComicFan|troll channel}} made Lorenzo close his channel, He even made a video of him closing his channel. View it [http://www.livevideo.com/video/9DCFB7BE77AF4B5088338D6D8C87D7E4/me-closing-my-youtube-account.aspx here]

Look at Lorenzo [[Crying|complaining]] on the google [[Nope|help]] forums about people re-uploading his camcorder videos. [http://www.google.com/support/forum/p/youtube/thread?tid=45d6978102d07f4c&hl=en Check it out, it's pretty funny.]

<center>
'''Some of Lorenzo's videos, he even made a 30 minute movie'''
<youtube>yDICk56UYwc</youtube>
<youtube>TxH-YUf3cRo</youtube></center>

'''Lorenzo's Links'''
*{{youtube2|LorenzoTheComic|Lorenzo's YouTube channel}}
*'''[http://livevideo.com/LorenzoTheComic His livevideo account]'''
*'''[http://www.freewebs.com/lorenzo_the_comic His failure of a website.]'''
*'''[http://lorenzothecomic.deviantart.com Lorenzo's dA]
*'''[[User:Lorenzo The Comic|Lorenzo's ED account]]'''

==Forgettable Characters==
As long as we're sticking with [[lame]] [[video game]] [[Analogy|analogies]], these following characters are sort of like the [[NPC|NPCs]] in [[RPG|RPGs]] who pace back and forth in the same 6 spaces on the [[GRID|grid]], praying that someone, ''ANYONE'', will notice them, if only for a precious second in time, and validate their very existence by asking them for their input. Having dispensed whatever [[Shit nobody cares about|useless information]] it is they have to offer, the main player walks away and never bothers talking to them again. Yeah: That just about sums up these next few kids pretty much perfectly.

===[[Mega Man|CapcomMegaMan]][[Weeaboo|Anime]] & [[Autism|SuperElmoThePezGuy]][[Sega_Genesis|64]]===
<center>{{fv|capcomm|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>pQ8vv0_h5Jc</youtube>
|<youtube>DhDGo4gl3d8</youtube>
|<youtube>IA7jkVCytcM</youtube>
}}</center>

Proof that all of these kids are entirely interchangeable with one another ''(Other than their personal reactions to being trolled, of course)''. These two guys are [[Buttsex|put together]] into a section because they are prime examples of a RVGK profile: Atrocious channel backgrounds, the use of [[Windows Movie Maker]], long fucking usernames which reek of [[weeaboo]] and [[autism]], and of course; shitty retro video game videos. They also get a special mention here because are close friends / [[Polygamy|"followers"]] of Max Baker - [[Troll|mess with them]] and you're [[Troll|messing with Max]].

* {{youtube2|CapcomMegaManAnime|CapcomMegaManAnime's YouTube account}} ''("haxed")'' 
* {{youtube2|SuperElmoThePezGuy64|SuperElmoThePezGuy64's YouTube account}} 

===Thomas Alex Graf/[[Spax3|Graftwins3]]===

Every clique has its members that happen to fall beautifully into other stereotypes. '''Graftwins3''' just so happens to be the [[emo|angsty emo metal teenager]] of the RVGK [[cult]].

His [[Shit|interesting and so alternative taste of music]] includes such bands like [[Black_metal|Pantera, "Canibal corpse"]] [[Sic|[sic]]], [[Juggalo|"insane clown posse"]] [[Sic|[sic]]], and [[Fag|"red hot chili peppers"]] [[Sic|[ffs, fucking sic]]] ''(He also enjoys "comedy's" films, and [[Gay|long walks on the beach]])''. He also advertises his favorite book as being [[The Bible]]. Pantera and The Bible? Such an "ironic" combination of these affiliations can only lead to the conclusion that he is actually a [[hipster]].

Unfortunately for [[Trolls|us]], he doesn't look like one ''(though he fits into the "[[obese]] [[nerd]]" look well enough)'', so we only have his lack of good taste to mock ''(and the aforementioned fact that he is an [[obese]] [[nerd]])''. And, you know, [[ALL_CAPS|THE FACT HE'S COLLECTING GAMES HE DOESN'T EVEN PLAY, JUST SO HE CAN BRAG ABOUT OWNING THEM]].

<center><youtube>9YRPMPQdqPw</youtube></center>

* {{youtube2|graftwins3|Graftwins3's YouTube account}}

=== Jonathan Poulsen/[[Clever|Nahtanoj]]1997 ===
'''ATTENTION:''' Nahtanoj1997's first name is Jonathan, and he was born in the year 1997. You don't want to know what had to go through to get that information!

'''Nahtanoj1997''' is the perfect example of something that researchers refer to as the ''Second Generation of Retro Video Game Kids'': [[ripoff|Inspired]] by people like Max Baker, they go off to [[Video_Game_Reviewer|create their own review videos which almost completely differ from their idols' videos]], but still have one very important thing in common: [[Video_Game_Reviewer|They suck donkey balls]]. Such is the case with Jonathan: He created a game review series called the "[[Game Dude|Game Critic]]", which is even more "radiculous" than some of the average RVGK's videos. After [[YouTube Commentaries#METOKUR|the YouTube channel responsible for pretty much all the trolling so far on this article]] released a [[Let's play with YouTube|commentary]] of one of his reviews, they [[it is a mystery|mysteriously]] [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|disappeared]] - except for a saved review and, of course, the commentary.

<center>
{{fv|jon1997|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>HZj3vwJasnk</youtube>
|<video type="viddler" id="9b266929" width="425" height="350" position="center"/>
}}</center>

So, what does Jonathan do now? What every [[Jawsus|autistic underage shithead]] does: [[Lame|"Funny"]] reaction videos and [[Goggles|"Cool"]] animation videos. Because [[2girls1cup]] is still funny in 2010, M I RITE?

<center>
{{fv|jon1997statusquo|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>oefXUR9WPUA</youtube>
|<youtube>oSBi-MwlzAk</youtube>
}}</center>

* {{youtube2|nahtanoj1997|Nahtanoj1997's YouTube account}}
* <s>{{youtube2|SegaGamer2|Second YouTube account}} (Closed)</s>
* http://vimeo.com/user1539122 Jon's vimeo account

'''Note:''' This section of the article was created by [[Mexican|Marlon Linares]], AKA Marlondudeful, a fail troll wannabe RVGK who lives on 5749 Fulcher Ave North Hollywood CA 91601, and his phone number is 818-385-5696.

==="Chris Martinez" orbitmint4 / "[[Mexico|Popi Tirado]]" Popibros1===
''('''NOTE:''' According to sources on YouTube, these two users are actually two separate people, with the latter user simply using the likeness of the former for his own [[unfunny]] videos. However, seeing as all these kids really are interchangeable with one another, you can see how easy it is for a mistake such as this to be made.)''

In an attempt to distance himself from the rest of the kids, '''popiBROS1''' has taken up the [[Unfunny|"art"]] of [[YouTube Poop]].he also has the [[Aspie|compulsive need]] to get in front of his camera for every video he churns out, in order to appeal to the [[pedophile]] demographic on YouTube. Being a filthy [[camwhore]] Unfortunately, he can not control his inner aspie, and does the same generic video game reviews as his peers as well.

Perhaps his most distinguishing feature is his admitted addiction to [[Weed|smoking the spinach]], which he seems to openly brag about on his channel and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPgIcKV4cgw in his channel comments]''(What a fucking [[attention whore]])''. Someone should give the kids mommy and daddy a [[Prank Call|call]], assuming they weren't the burnt-out shells who got him hooked in the first place.

He recently discovered his section on this article, and responded with a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33eQKeDXodc terrible video] containing shitty YouTube Poop references, further demonstrating his desperate need for attention and his lack of [[shame]].

Just weeks after this article was written, Popi privates his [[fail|popiBROS1]] channel (due to him being [[butthurt]] about this article) and becomes a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Railfan trainfag] on his new account [http://www.youtube.com/thesouthernpacific TheSouthernPacific]. Currently, he is in denial about collecting retro games, although he still browses a RVGK website called [http://www.famicomworld.com Famicomworld] and popiBROS1 still buys retro games from all the [[pedophiles]] of the retro gaming community.

<center>
'''DON'T ASK POPI IF HE LIKES RETRO GAMES ON [http://youtube.com/user/thesouthernpacific THESOUTHERNPACIFIC], HE'LL BLOCK YOU AND REMOVE YOUR COMMENT!'''
</center>

<center>

'''This is what Popi looks like, deal with it.'''

<youtube>N2BYhLrWWLM</youtube> </center>

'''popiBROS1/Orbitmint4 Links/Contact Info'''
*'''MSN:''' Popibros1@hotmail.com
*'''Skype:''' Popibros1 / orbitmint4
*{{youtube2|orbitmint4|orbitmint4's YouTube Channel}}
*{{youtube2|Popibros1|Popibros1's YouTube Channel}}
*{{youtube2|thesouthernpacific|thesouthernpacific's YouTube Channel}}

=='''[[Faggot|Dante Scaglione]]/Snifitdude'''==

[[Faggot|'''Dante Scaglione''']] is a [[youtube]] user who apperently has a [[fetish]] for '''snifits''' from [[Lie|Super Mario Bros.2]]. He is like any other retro video game [[faggot]], in the sense that he makes a daily 10 minute long, [[shit nobody cares about|retro game pickup video]] and [[dumbass| gives his address to anyone who is willing to send him a retro game]] . In a desperate attempt to [[whore]] himself out he makes a video every [[no life| opportunity]] he gets, such as when he [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JT6Tet19TI unboxes a free fucking copy of Ubuntu]. Snifitdude also follows in [[Retro_Video_Game_Kids#.22Chris_Martinez.22_orbitmint4_.2F_.22Popi_Tirado.22_Popibros1|popiBROS1's]] footsteps, in the way of the "[[shit|art]]" of [[Youtube poop]]. He makes these [[youtube poop|youtube poops]] because he was trying to fit in with the rest of the [[faggots|misfits]] who make shitty [[youtube poop|youtube poops]] .

Recently, [[Fag|Dante]] got massively trolled and wrote an article about the people who trolled him. '''(NOTE: He wrote it and sent it to Galaga135 to publish, cause ED [[Hax|gets your passwords]])'''

On 09-28-10 it was [[Weeaboo|Snifit]][[Trap|Dude]]'s birthday, and he decides to buy a [[Retro|modern]] [[PS3|console]] to play an updated retro game.

===Snitdude's Links===
*'''AIM''' -DanteS@myself.com
*'''Skype''' -Snifitdude
*'''Website''' -http://www.snifitdude.com/ [[shit nobody cares about| Snifitdude's "retro game collection"]]
*''' [[User:SayYES|His ED account]]'''
*{{youtube2|snifitdude|Snifitdude's YouTube Channel}}
*{{youtube2|mushroomboyfan666|Mushroomboyfan666's YouTube Channel}} (where he presents his [[youtube poop|youtube poops]])

===SnifitDude's [[Faggots|Gang]]===
*[[Weeaboo|Galaga135]]
*[[Retro_Video_Game_Kids#Gamesforall129_.2F_Brent_Strong|Brent Strong]]
*[[Retro_Video_Game_Kids#.22Chris_Martinez.22_orbitmint4_.2F_.22Popi_Tirado.22_Popibros1|Orbitmint4]]
*[[Mexico|Marlondudeful]]

==Trolling==
Trolling the RVGKs is so easy that it's almost [[depressing]]. If you want to find more information about your [[Nuke|chosen target]], just check his channel's comments.

These comments are neither part of a conversation, nor are they cut out from other conversations - these people actually have the compulsive need to randomly share facts about themselves on other peoples YouTube channels. Who the fuck needs [[Google]] and [[Facebook]] search when targets are willing to post their own docs right there on their YouTube channel, for the rest of the Internet to see?

Once you've started [[trolling]], the [[lulz]] will lave like [[Cum|milk and honey]]. All it takes is a single mildly insulting comment, and the RVGKs will congregate on your channel, creating [[pathetic]] videos about you to the tune of these:

<center>
{{fv|trollvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>gK_LvBc7AMw</youtube>
|<youtube>SywW-OoDxCs</youtube>
|<youtube>GKaf11iz8w4</youtube>
|<youtube>CfJrpdM_wM0</youtube>
}}</center>

Of course, that's really all they ''CAN'' do: They're incapable of taking things any further than half-hearted call-outs in [[Windows Movie Maker]], set to the same shitty [[chiptunes]] they have on their [[iPod]].The kids also try to [[ED:101|EDit]] this article, and write about people who troll them in an attempt to [[fail|counter-troll]] the [[Ediots]] who wrote this article.However, true to their diagnosis of [[autism]], they will continue to post these videos, as ineffective as they are, honestly believing that they have some effect. [[You]], however, should know better than them, and will automatically feel superior to the Retro Video Game Kids, regardless of you wanting it or not.

Because trolling these kids is so easy, [[Bill Nye|our top ED science monkeys]] expect trolling in this sector to be [[Game_Dude#Continued_Trolling|done to death soon by attention seeking children who want to be on ED themselves]]. So, go ahead and [[rape|do with them whatever you please]], but get out of there before the underage copycats come and convince themselves that they are [[Fail|"epic win"]].

==What's in Store for the Retro Kids?==
[[Image:Gamer.png|thumb|180px|right|The future RVGKs have to look forward to.]]
Like other self-proclaimed "[[Lonely|collectors]]" of [[worthless|novelty]] toys, the retro kids will continue to amass coffee-stained [[NES]] cartridges and non-functional gimmick controllers well into their adult years. As they all admit to [[Bully|hating school]] and [[fail|doing poorly at it]], the bulk of them will not be attending [[college]], opting to continue [[Basement dweller|living at home with their parents and collecting their video games instead]]. By this point, [[IM|their only friends]] will be their other e-buddies, and they will have convinced themselves that [[Lemonparty|they are the only friends they will ever need]].

[[File:Lol_meds_suicide.jpg|thumb|180px|left|[[An hero|A fitting end]] for those unfit to live in the real world.]]

Eventually, they will be sentenced to the [[RL|Hell that is the working world]], when their parents finally get tired of paying for their sick addiction themselves ''(They will be content in allowing the addictions to continue, however, as it keeps them quiet and out of their hair''). The only [[Goatse|openings]] available will be [[Mexican|minimum-wage positions]] at [[McDonald's|fast food establishments]] and [[Wal-Mart|electronics stores]]. Finding the choice rather obvious, they will proudly put on their blue t-shirts and yellow namecards, and spend company time browsing [[eBay]] for great deals on discontinued [[Atari]] products. They will either [[Unemployment|lose their job]] because of this, or because of their inability to interact with customers. And so, back home they will go, perhaps having earned enough in their brief employment to afford a fancy [[Sega Genesis]] controller with turbo buttons.

One day, whichever parent got stuck with them after the divorce will finally get sick of their shit, and kick them out of the house and into the [[RL|outside world]], willing to pay for [[Shay|an apartment in the worst side of town]] and nothing more. Having black person, no [[cracker|street smarts]], and [[Chris-Chan|no social skills]], they will be completely unprepared for the real world, and will only have the video games they are too stubborn to sell to give them comfort. If they're lucky, they will eventually [[not|wise up]] and start selling their retro tat piece by piece, in a desperate final effort to put some [[Ramen|food]] in their scrawny stomachs. Of course, they'll only have so much stock to get rid of, before they are left [[Shay|cold and alone in their piss-stained single-room apartment]]. With their last breaths, they will cry out for their mothers, before [[an hero|jumping off the roof or slitting their grease-stained wrists]].

{{clear}}

<center>And that's what you have to look forward to if you waste your life collecting old video games!</center>

== External Links ==
*{{youtube|q2hn4pnrOO8|Not to be confused with THESE "Retro Kidz"}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/group/TehRetroGamerz TehRetroGamerz "Official" YouTube Group]

== See Also ==
*[[Chris Hansen]]
*[[Lukeywes1234]]
*[[Raymond45154]]
*[[Ruining the Internet]]
*[[Ulrichthehedgehog]]
*[[Video game reviewers]]
*[[YouTube]]

{{ytseries}}

[[Category:YouTube]]
[[Category:Gaming]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:People]]

Retro Video Game Kids - Revision history

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