imported>HaGibor: /* See Also */

2019-01-19T22:08:32Z

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

2015-03-20T11:57:49Z

Gallery

← Older revision	Revision as of 11:57, 20 March 2015
(No difference)

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

2015-03-20T11:57:49Z

Gallery

← Older revision	Revision as of 11:57, 20 March 2015
(No difference)

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

2015-03-20T11:57:49Z

Gallery

← Older revision	Revision as of 11:57, 20 March 2015
(No difference)

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

2015-03-20T11:57:49Z

Gallery

New page

{{achtung|CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS}}
{{spoilers|Wesker is the final boss and got killed in a volcano!}}
[[Image:re5.jpg|thumb|right|Finally! A game that does what we're all thinking! Pool's CLOSED]]

'''''Resident Evil 5''''' (otherwise known as "PUNCH NIGGERS RECEIVE CAKE") is the fifteenth game in the ''Resident Evil'' series. It was released for the [[Xbox 360|Tre Shitty]] and some other [[Playstation 3|really expensive thing]]. The only thing that distinguishes this game from the fourteen that come before it is (except [[Resident Evil 4|number fourteen itself]]), instead of killing [[zombies]], you walk around [[Africa]] endlessly shooting entire villages of pissed off mutant [[Arab|locals]] and nigger people. This requires no [[logic]] or strategy like numbers zero through thirteen, but instead relies solely on aim. Because of this [[fact]] alone, the game is destined to be a [[Will verb again!|top seller]].

==Gameplay==
[[File:NIGGAPUNCHRE5res.gif|thumb|[[Falcon Punch|How to win at ''Resident Evil 5'']]]]

[[Dead Space]] with shittier controls, no curb stomp and no movement while aiming. The physics engine, leveling up, gore, textures and soundtrack are [[lie|radically different than the fourth game]] since it's much prettier and has co-op. Oh, and a woman with a crazy accent.

There are a wide variety of [[Niggers|enemies]] that players will face off against in Resident Evil 5. These include niggers, niggers with axes, niggers with crossbows, niggers with chainsaws, niggers with dynamite, niggers with molotovs, nigger dogs, niggers with rifles, [[Nigga stole my bike|the African version of Hell's Angels]], tribal niggers, fat niggers, skinny niggers, a giant bat, black niggers, Lickers [[Fail|that aren't nearly as bad-ass as they used to be]], a big [[cock|thing]] with black [[tentacle rape|tentacles]] that might as well be a nigger, monsters that pop out of niggers, [[Muslim|sandniggers]], the obligatory final boss who comes back from the dead for the umpteenth time (not a nigger), and niggers.

To wit:

<center><youtube>ae5PJ7KsUjI</youtube></center>

==Storyline==
[[Image:Abbos.jpg|thumb|right|Resident Evil 5 summed up in one image]]

[[Image:TRSheva.jpg|thumb|right|[[Rule 34|No exceptions]].]]

You play as Chris Redfield (Mexican), now a member of the [[GNAA|BSAA]](Bull.Shit.Anal.Alliance). He is sent by his chapter's Grand Wizard to Africoon to lynch the loads of black person that the Klan has begun to ship back home (Just because you sent them back to Africa doesn't mean you can't follow and kill them anyway.) Accompanying him is Sheva Alomar, an African whose light skin and [[Brit]]ish accent almost allows her to pass as a human. They fight against a [[kike|greedy businessman named Irving,]] some [[Italy|wop]] bitch named after Microsoft Excel, and [[Horatio Caine|Albert Wesker]] [[Nerd|who obviously watches the Matrix]],just look at the way that fag fights,he dodges bullets,runs fast,wears a trenchcoat and sunglasses, [[pretty cool guy|plans to exterminate mankind for the lulz]] and [[USI|become God]]. In the process, they rescue [[Paris Hilton|Jill Valentine]] ([[wut|who suddenly has long blonde hair]]) all before '''finally''' [[Lie|killing Wesker]] with a rocket launcher (oh yeah, [[spoiler]]). There's some other shit about [[mindfuck|Tricell funding Ouroboros research and people huffing bugs]], but seriously if you were expecting anything more than that, you're probably [[Atlus|a fat nerd]].P

Also the third boss is named [[desu|Ndesu]]

==Controversy==

Not surprisingly, the [[niggers]] are complaining that, since the game will feature [[White People|white]] [[hero|heroes]] shooting black villains, the game is [[racist]] and <s>should not be released</s> Too late. One disgruntled black mother had this to say: {{quote|It's apparently the [[Truth|white character's job to destroy the black people and save humanity]]. This is [[Awesome|problematic]] on so many levels, including the depiction of [[niggers|black people]] as [[niggers|inhuman savages]], the killing of black people by a white man in military clothing, and the fact that [[lie|this video game is marketed to children]] and [[13-year-old boy|young adults]]. Start them young... [[America|fearing, hating, and destroying black people.]]|[[Concerned Mother|An upstanding community member]]}}

This is, however, completely [[Lie|false]], as [[niggers]] are [http://www.dr-tiller.com/George_Tiller inhuman savages] [[IRL]] and it is pretty much every [[white]] guy's job to [[Fact|destroy black people and save humanity]]. Of course, none of these [[Niggers|diverse defenders of civil rights and multiculturalism]] had anything to say when [[fag|Leon S. Kennedy]] was blasting through crowds of [[Spics|rabid Spaniards]] and [[German|Nazi clichés]]. These stupid shitheads seem to forget that the game is made by [[azn|Asian]] people, and [[azn|Asian]] people [[H8|hate]] whites and blacks evenly. To add, the game takes place in [[Africa]], who else do you expect to find more of? Furthermore, the idea that this game will make people start hating blacks is completely unfounded, as [[White|most people]] [[Fact|hate niggers already without the help of a video game]]. It should be also noted that Chris' [[British|English-accented]] [[Sex|partner]] [[Sheneequa|Sheva]] is black and [[Shit Nobody Cares About|they both team up with the African branch of the squad.]]

Of course - all the concerned single mothers are just having a knee-jerk reaction, as only a [[Jack Thompson|faggot]] would think that people who play video games are completely unable to distinguish between them and [[Second Life|real life]] and therefore believe that [[Grand Theft Auto|stealing cars]], [[Grand Theft Auto|killing prostitutes]], [[Mario|jumping]] on [[I Like Turtles|turtles]], and searching for [[Hookers and Blow|agility orbs]] [[IRL]] is [[serious business]]. Also killing [[niggers]] in the game is one reason its so [[epic]] and full of [[Retarded|win]], [[faggots]].

==Versus Mode==

On April 7, 2009 a paid-for add-on known as Versus Mode was offered on XBox Live and PSN. This is referred to as "paid-for", because the size of the download was only 2 megabytes. Capcom went the Activision route and became [[Jew]]ish, but the fanbase didn't give a shit and [[Moron|bought it anyway]]. While it retained the tank-like controls, a few enterprising individuals figured out how to [[Dubstep|move more quickly and get the drop on their opponents]]. A few also learned that by damaging an enemy player with certain types of grenades, they could force them to stand still and [[Rape|get raped by a Magnum]]. In the early days, these few players (and the [[noob]]s who played endlessly to unlock STARS Wesker purely for his Hydra shotgun) were the focus of much hate and accusations of modding. Predictably, these sort of players are now the standard and most of them are prior haters of the previously-mentioned tactics.

The mode is divided into two basic types of matches, known as Slayers and Survivors. The object of Slayers is to kill as many [[Niggers|Majini]] as possible within the time limit. This is most similar to [[Resident Evil 3|The Mercenaries mode]], except that you can shoot and kill other players. Survivors is meant to be straight-up player against player, but there are still annoying regular enemies and mini-bosses running around to [[troll]] the players. There are team versions of these game types, where two teams of two players each compete against one another using the same basic premise as single Slayers and Survivors, except that you have a [[Fag|butt buddy]] following you around. The character pool is the same as Mercenaries, featuring: Chris (BSAA, Safari or STARS), Sheva (BSAA, [[Trap|Clubbin']] or [[Racist|Tribal]]), Jill (BSAA or [[Blonde|Battle Suit]]) and Wesker (Midnight or [[Cheap|STARS)]].

As of April, 2012 (3 years after release), people still play this game mode. It limps along on shitty servers, and with no add-on material to further its replay value. Regardless, there are people who refuse to ditch their RE 5 disc and play Operation Raccoon City (even though that game is already full of fuckwits too). Most who still get on Versus regularly are incapable of playing more than 2-3 games decently. The rest enjoy stirring up [[Shit nobody cares about|drama and idiotic feuds over an outdated video game and the Internet in general]].

==Gallery==
{{cg|Resident Evil 5 Gallery|cocks|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:JillRe534.jpg|lol spoiler
Image:ShevaTentacleRape.jpg|The mandatory [[hentai|Tentacle Rape]]
Image:ShevaGangbang.jpg| [[Hawt]]
Image:Sheva_Fingering.jpg|Wow.
Image:sheva_resident.evil.jpg|It just keeps getting better.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Lost in Dreams.jpg
Image:Re5godhand.png|[[Godhand]]
Image:1LittleFight.jpg|[[Fresh Prince|I got in one little fight and my mom got scared...]]
Image:Yellow_Nigger.jpg|black person
Image:ResidentEvilTeamRocketFull.jpg|I hope that doesn't count as a [[crossover]].
Image:TF2RE5.png|[[Team Fortress 2|Team Fortress 2 Special Edition]]
Image:Re5racism ed.jpg|
Image:Momcompleteglobalsat.jpg|
Image:CompleteGlobalSaturation.jpg|COMPLETE GLOBAL SATURATION
Image:TribalSheva.jpg|this is a bonus outfit. Seriously.
Image:ShevaCosplay.jpg|[[sheneequa|Black Woman]] are fucking [[hawt]].
Image:ShevaDatAss.jpg|[[Dat Ass]]
Image:Alberd_wesker_re5_dat_ass.jpg‎|DAT ASS.
Image:Residentfalcon.gif
File:Resident-evil-5.jpg
</gallery>}}

==See Also==

*''[[Resident Evil 3]]''
*''[[Resident Evil Outbreak]]''
*''[[Resident Evil 4]]''
*''[[Avira|Umbrella Corporation]]''
*[[Zombie]]
*[[Capcom]]

==External Links==
[http://theblacksentinel.wordpress.com/2007/08/04/resident-evil-5-outbreaks-the-racism/ Black blogger gets butthurt over the game]

[http://residentevil.com/5/kijuju/index.php?l=en&fbid=QA9eGuVunYr/ It's now Cloverfield-tastic!]

{{gaming}}

[[Category: Gaming]]

----

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:08, 19 January 2019
Line 67:		Line 67:
	Image:Residentfalcon.gif		Image:Residentfalcon.gif
	File:Resident-evil-5.jpg		File:Resident-evil-5.jpg
			File:Resident_Evil_5_screenshot.jpg
	</gallery>}}		</gallery>}}

	==See Also==		==See Also==

			*''[[Resident Evil 2]]''
	*''[[Resident Evil 3]]''		*''[[Resident Evil 3]]''
	*''[[Resident Evil Outbreak]]''		*''[[Resident Evil Outbreak]]''

Resident Evil 5 - Revision history

imported>HaGibor: /* See Also */

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */