imported>AlCapone at 10:26, 7 September 2017

2017-09-07T10:26:13Z

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{{spoilers|text=THE BOYFRIEND IS CHEATING ON THE GIRL DESPITE SAYING HE WASN'T. THEY ALL DIE EXCEPT THE EVIL DOCTOR'S SPIRIT AND YOU JUST WASTED YOUR TIME WATCHING THIS SHIT}}

[[File:Ravenswood 2017.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The film's poster is very reflective of the audience's expression of this movie. The girl's face is the exact same reaction from people who are told they are to watch it.]]

'''Ravenswood''' <del>is a television spin-off of Pretty Little Liars</del> is a shitty [[2017]] [[United States of Australia|Australian]] attempt at a horror movie that's trying to bank of the success of better things. Produced by Ignite Pictures, a company owned by Ignite Elite Artists, [[Human Trafficking|a talent agency]] that prides in its <del>talent</del> own family making it big in [[Los Angeles|Hollywood]], the film's aim was to make as much money as possible without actually being scary.

Influenced by the great classics such as [[The Room]] and [[Birdemic]], it tries to steal the techniques and story telling of those films but surprisingly does a worse job than what they could offer. In the end you have a cheap cash-in that tries to present itself has "hot shit" but is just a feeble attempt at a snuff film and to promote the producer's son. The film also includes clothed sex scenes so you can watch people grind up on each other whilst still having their pants and shirt on!

[[File:Ravenswood Josie Waller Jonathan Lane clothed sex.png|thumb|left|250px|Why watch free porn when you could watch sex with clothes still on. Ride to Hell: Retribution levels of action.]]

==The premise==
A bunch of [[Jewnited States of Americunts|Americunt]] teens (but really they're Australians with really terrible accents) who are constantly horny, want to tour an abandoned hospital so they can hide from the tour group to fuck, but are suddenly picked off by an evil Doctor possessing one of them.

==Production==
[[File:Ravenswood Adam Horner trying to be scary.jpg|thumb|250px|left|OH, SO SCARY! ARE YOU SCARED YET? YOU SHOULD BE. IT'S A REALLY SCARY SCENE.]]
With a budget of one shirt button, the film was produced using a camera stolen from an amateur porn casting with windows movie maker to edit.

For cast, Ignite decided to hire most of its actors from its own "talent" books with the luxury of [[slavery|offering them no pay]], with the agency and production company CEO's own son, Adam Horner, as the main star to show how [[Pr0n|awesome he'd be for Hollywood]].

<center>[[File:Ravenswood Adam Horner Michelle Horner Ignite Pictures Elite Artists.jpg|1200px]]</center>

==Script==
The film's script features award-winning dialogue which can be compared to such great classics as Gone With the Wind and Cat On a Hot Tin Roof.

Such great quotes as ...

<center>[[File:Ravenswood 2017 quotes Kentucky Fuck Chicken Adam Horner.png]]</center>

==Reception==
With so much hype by the film's production company, it's press releases and cast at how "good" it was, surely it turned out great?

No, 3.0 on IMDb. Even the film sites and blogs that were bribed to say good things before its release had now said it was terrible.

{{quote|It is at times quite painful – a situation only exacerbated by shackling the Australian cast to faux-American accents, a decision probably made to broaden the international appeal, but which merely grates to a domestic ear.|''[https://filmink.com.au/reviews/review-ravenswood/ Filmink]''}}
{{quote|I honestly have seen better films from Ozzie writers and producers. This film was on the verge of boredom.|''[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5194048/reviews IMDb user review]''}}
{{quote|It honestly annoys me that I wasted the $1.69 to rent this thing.|''[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5194048/reviews IMDb user review]''}}

==Awards?==
Despite being a failed attempt at a snuff film, it somehow won awards. Having the honor of winning such illustrious awards from such well-renowned festivals as ...
*Amsterdam Film Festival - [https://www.amsterdamfilmfestival.com/2017-winners Excellence in Cinematography Award]
*IndieFEST Film Awards - [http://theindiefest.com/past-winners/award-of-merit-winners-feb-2017/ Award of Merit]
*Southern Sykos Film Festival - [https://www.southernsykos.com/film-festival Best Feature Film]

Hell, let's just make up some awards.
<center>'''The Craptastic Awards'''</center>
 
<center>'''"Worst Use Of Film"'''</center>
 
<center>'''Ravenswood'''</center>

You earned it Ignite.

==The movie itself==
Seriously don't pay to watch this movie. That money would be better spent on food or a hooker.

Here, just watch the film for free.
<center><youtube>sXPreofa6A4</youtube></center>

Or go watch a better Australian horror. GO WATCH THE BABADOOK.

==Gallery==
 
{{Collapsegallery|Ravenscrap|cg3|center|<gallery>
File:Ride to Hell Retribution clothed sex.gif|Ride to Hell: Retribution had better clothed sex scenes. They were also longer.
File:Ravenswood Adam Horner Redbox.png|Now available on Redbox, where even less people will give a shit about it
</gallery>|border=red|color=white}}

==External links==
*[http://www.ravenswoodfilm2016.com/ It's official website]
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgtF8BeI8rAWPAi0DSvN-kQ Official YouTube channel]
*{{facebook|Ravenswood2017/|Their official Facebook page. They love it when you post on there how terrible the movie was}}
*{{imdb-link|title/tt5194048|It's IMDb page. Make sure to downvote the hell out of it, otherwise its actors will upvote it}}
*[https://www.igniteeliteartists.com/ Where most of the film's slave labor came from]

{{Movies}}
{{Australia}}

Ravenswood - Revision history

imported>AlCapone at 10:26, 7 September 2017