imported>RyanSamuels: /* Little Known Poetry Facts */

2015-04-04T01:58:42Z

Little Known Poetry Facts

← Older revision	Revision as of 01:58, 4 April 2015
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imported>RyanSamuels: /* Little Known Poetry Facts */

2015-04-04T01:58:42Z

Little Known Poetry Facts

← Older revision	Revision as of 01:58, 4 April 2015
(No difference)

imported>RyanSamuels: /* Little Known Poetry Facts */

2015-04-04T01:58:42Z

Little Known Poetry Facts

← Older revision	Revision as of 01:58, 4 April 2015
(No difference)

imported>RyanSamuels: /* Little Known Poetry Facts */

2015-04-04T01:58:42Z

Little Known Poetry Facts

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[[Image:Poetry.jpg|thumb|[[Bill O'reilly]] in a freestyle poetry battle with Joe Cabot from ''Reservoir Dogs'']]
[[Image:NoelConway.jpg|thumb|[[typical|typical]] ]]

'''Poetry''' (ancient [[Greek]]: ποιεω (poieo)
Originally a simple chain of rhyming words recited in [[Cult|rhythmic chant]] used for memorizing important information like how many months to age the cheese and where the best [[brothel]]s could be found. Since its origin, four poems worth more than that have been composed. None of them were composed by [[you]].

In ''[[pretentious|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]]'', Douglas Adams wrote that the third-worst poets in the universe were Vogons, that the second worst poetry has caused instant death to those who've heard it read aloud, and that the first worst poetry was by someone in the [[UK]], probably falsely-accused [[sockpuppet]] of [[Poetlister]]. He would agree that the first-worst poetry in the universe is written by [[blog]]gers, some of the worst-of-the-worst being vomited forth by [[LJ user]]s.

It's [[truth|widely acknowledged]] that poems became superfluous and obsolete when song lyrics were invented in [[1984]] by [[John Lennon]]. Today, only [[loser]]s who can't even get a handful of friends together to make a shitty band still write poetry. No one reads it.

==An Outstanding Example of Modern [[Emo]] Verse==
[[Image:Goth jess2.jpg|thumb|Two of today's top poets. [[Fan]]s hail their work as "[[OMG|omg]] sooo deeep[[Oneoneone|!!11!1]]", but [[some argue|some criticise]] them for borrowing much of their [[image]]ry from [[Slipknot]] lyrics. While the girl on the right looks hot (unlike old and fat like the other), the girl on the right sadly is a shemale.]]
<div style="background-color: #fafaf5; border: 1px dashed blue; padding: .5em; width: 33%;">''[[depression|Why does life hurt so much?]]'' 
''Why do the people in it [[butthurt|make me feel horrible?]]'' 
''Why can't they STOP and notice the [[BAWWW|tears]], and [[U mad|stop?]]'' 
''Why can't the see just a [[lulz|small remark]] can [[I told you I was hardcore|kill someone]]?'' 
''Why can't they see some of us [[an hero|dieing]]?'' 
''Why do they have [[Internet celebrity|perfect lives]], while [[Basement dweller|we have awful ones]]?'' 
<div align="right"></div></div>
Summary: [[Waambulance|SOMEBODY CALL THE WAAAHMBULANCE]]

[[BTW|BTW]] it's spelled 'dying', not 'dieing'. Spell check. Use it, bitch.

==Poetry Drama and Critic Shock==
Thanks to fond mothers and friends who are as illiterate as they are, many [[virgin]] poets believe that writing spontaneously from the heart, at great length and in a narrow column, produces a Great Work of [[Art]]. Every day, a few more of these discover the internet, where they seek a forum for [[literature]] that is worthy of judging the merit of their naive mental [[masturbation]]. [[Drama]] or [[lulz]] always result when they find one, since the forums each have long standing cliques of poetry editors, academics, and literary critics, all of whom failed in their childhood ambition to be important. Each group hates the other and both have lots of energy to expend on vitriol and flame wars. The academics spit out the vile dregs of useless careers in eloquent and scathing bitterness while the [[emo]]s, [[Homosexual|slammer]]s, and [[hippie]]s have [[angst]], [[whore|hormone]]s, and [[drug]]s going for them.

==Fantastic Works of Contemporary Literature==
[[File:Gaiafaggotry_typical.png|thumb|shitty poetry is one of [[Gaia Online]]'s high exports, along with weeaboo and furfaggotry]]
[[File:Gaia_emo_retard.jpg|thumb|more dumb shit]]

:Willie looking in the [[gun]], 
:[[Suicide|Pulls the trigger just for fun.]] 
:Mother says in tones so [[pain]]ed, 
:"Willie is so scatter-brained!" 

:Willie, in a [[rage]] [[insane]] 
:[[Suicide|Threw his head beneath a train]] 
:All were quite surprised to find 
:How it broadened Willie's mind. 

:Willie saw some dynamite, 
:Couldn't understand it quite; 
:Curiosity [[Killed|never]] [[Cat|pays]]. 
:[[Death|It rained Willie seven days]]. 

:Willie got [[Depression|sick]] so bad 
:He took [[drugs|the coldstops]] that he had 
:[[overdose|bleeding out of his nose]] 
:[[wtf|Now he is the new-york magazine's front cover pose]] 

:Willie, walking down the track 
:Couldn’t hear the engine squeal. 
:Now the engine’s coming back 
:[[Willy on Wheels|Scraping Willie off the wheel.]] 

:Willie fell down the elevator, 
:[[Dead|Wasn't found 'till six days later.]] 
:Then the neighbors sniffed, "Gee whiz! 
:What a spoiled [[child]] Willie is!" 

:Willie' walking through the rain 
:Spied a pit bull on a chain. 
:Reached out to pet it, 
:Quiet as a mouse. 
:[[Death|Funeral tomorrow]] 
:At Willie's house. 

==Where To Find Poetry Drama==
*Vanity Forums
** Any [[LJ]] community that claims to discuss [[literature]].
** Up the collective [[ass]] of the nefarious whiny [[emo]]-[[goths|goth]] kid. They are really a single entity, like the borg, only more [[retarded]].
**[http://www.poemhunter.com/ Poemhunter.com]
** [http://poetry.com International Library Of Poetry] Scam site that has discovered the only way to get rich in the poetry biz: sell anthologies to saps who get excited because their poem was "carefully selected" and "shows great writing ability."
**[http://www.deviantart.com/ DeviantArt] Shitty site full of angst-ridden teenagers and anime "artists".
**[[Allpoetry.com]]
**[[Poetry.com]]
**[[Poetic Constellations]]

*Academic Forums
** [[PFFA]] What it would be like if poetry was taught in boot camp
** [http://www.alsopreview.com/discus/messages/4/4.html?1141754932 The Gazebo]Regular group is the same as PFFA only being as polite as they can and failing.
** [http://eratosphere.ablemuse.com/ Eratosphere] Scholars who were so badly potty trained, they not only write poetry but it must be metered poetry. Exactly. No! Not like that! Like this! See also [[obsessive-compulsive]].
** [http://p197.ezboard.com/bthesonnetboard Sonnet Central] Academics who were thrown out of Eratosphere for being too uptight and picky. Not too many lulz, as most vistors are lulled to sleep by the opening lines of any thread.
**[http://www.sparknotes.com Sparknotes] Their ''Your Poetry'' forums are often full of lulz and drama, especially [[Misterpoet|Misterpoet's]] posts.
**[http://www.concentricus.com concenticus] [[concentricus|A webzine]] with an editing staff that many members blame for not allowing their cliched and unimaginative poetry to be seen on the site. Lulz have been minimized since the removal of the Drop, the showcase of all pieces that didn't make the Issue.
*YouTube.
**[[Special_poetry_slam|Poetry by retards]].

==Modern Schools of Poetry==
* [[Emo]]
* [[Goths]]
** [[Nickolaus]]
* [[Hippies]]
** [[Robert Anton Wilson]]
* [[16 year old girls]]
* People at [[a poetry club]]
** [[Poetlister]]
* [[Perverts]]
** [[Mcfnord]]
** [[Ghostlight]]
* [[Ricochet rabbit]]
* [[Homosexual|Slam]]
* [[Rap]] (jk [[lol]])

==Past Hours of Poetry==
*Whorenunnery
*[[Sandwich]]
*[[Insane#The_Tinfoil_Song|The Tinfoil Song]]
* [[Circumlolcution]]

==Little Known Poetry Facts==
* The best poetry in the world is written by <strike>[[Ricochet rabbit]]</strike>. [http://ryanthesamuels.wordpress.com Ryan Samuels]
* Contrary to popular belief, critic shock, not tetanus, is the leading cause of death among emo poets who first read their work to someone who is not in the midst of terminal teen angst.

==Zombie Jesus Christ almighty, you don't want to click these==
* [http://www.purplepjs.com/poetrycafe Purple Pyjamas Poetry Cafe]
*[http://www.livejournal.com/community/seattle/2479092.html Vogue]
*[http://www.livejournal.com/users/naamah_darling/141951.html "Hortus Conclusus" by Naamah_Darling]
*[http://blog.myspace.com/brains4lunchspleen4dinner Bad gawthick poetry at its finest]
*[http://www.myspace.com/redwolfx2003 WOLF - I am a yardtard who writes poetry, and stupid titles.]
{{Language}}{{emoseries}}{{books}}
[[Category: Faggotry]]

Poetry - Revision history

imported>RyanSamuels: /* Little Known Poetry Facts */

imported>RyanSamuels: /* Little Known Poetry Facts */

imported>RyanSamuels: /* Little Known Poetry Facts */

imported>RyanSamuels: /* Little Known Poetry Facts */