imported>Lolyunohavgudsoftware: moved User:Onideus/Parenting to Parenting: Close enough, needs more internets and text

2016-04-02T09:53:22Z

moved User:Onideus/Parenting to Parenting: Close enough, needs more internets and text

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'''Parenting''' is the process of the "parent(s)" caring for their legal property—the "child" or "children"—that was created or purchased due to boredom. From childhood to adolescence most children must [[Slavery|depend on their parents for the resources necessary to survive]].

[[Some argue]] that the success of the process is dependent on how well the youth was transformed from clueless, dependent, weak infancy into knowledgeable, independent, and healthy adulthood: where thriving is valued over merely surviving.

Being a parent is [[serious business]] and is not a [[the game|game]]. If you have [[slut|accidentally]] become pregnant and are not ready for the responsibility, don't worry, our friendly ED Parenting Experts have [[abortion|some helpful tips]].

== Parenting styles ==

[[File:Christianity2.jpg|thumb|The sort of shit parents brainwash their children to believe]]

Children are raised in a diversity of manners throughout the world: some more lulzy than others.

=== Uninvolved ===

Dependent on the situation this may be refereed to as "child neglect"; these children may also be raised by technology with little interaction with their caretakers.

A specific population known as "[[Wikipedia:Street children|street children]]" are defined as children who have been abandoned by at birth or left their poorfag failure parents. Although these children can experience the joy of freedom many get addicted to drugs and alcohol, most commonly solvent abuse among Kenyans who likely also "huff dat [[jenkem]]". Street children are usually brown people due to their [[nigger]]ness.

One example of neglect is an "hero" of the Modern area: [[Karl Marx]]: a poorfag Marxist loser that decided to read and write bullshit philosophy instead of getting a job to ''prevent his four kids from dying''.[http://redicecreations.com/article.php?id=29612] The hateful shit he wrote that essentially said that the world should be otherwise to have more [[money]]s and less responsibilities ended up creating suffering for millions and millions of people.

=== Overinvolved ===

Also know as "helicopter parents", in this method the parents are so involved in their kid's life they are metaphorically "reattaching the umbilical cord". Overinvolved parents control and moderate all of the users actions and intentions: controlling and supervising what they do and what they think. Such parents are so concerned with their kids' issues, particularly educational, that they might write a 40-fucking-page paper on their kid [[Curtis Got Slapped By A White Teacher!|getting slapped by a white teacher]].

Once extreme case of overinvolvement/control was [[Josef Fritzl]]: a man who felt like [[God]] having such sheer amount of control over the conscious product of his actions (children). The power to have children being available for these type of people can also be the cause other lulzy effects such as the [[:File:Abortion lulz.jpg|abortion room]].

=== The cult ===

Children may become victims of their parent's firm believe in retarded shit such as that God hates shellfish, homosexuality, and mixed fabrics, ''especially when they are mixed together''. At birth a child's mind is capable of being formed into practically anything the parent's wish it to be with the correct amount of psychological manipulation.

Children may become members of The COG (short for "Children of God", later [[Euphemism|renamed]] to [[Wikipedia:Family International|Family International]]). From 1974 until 1987, leaders of the COG had sexual contact with 223,989 people while practicing "Flirty Fishing"; said [[breeder|breeding]] resulted in over 300 "Jesus Babies" by 1981. In relation to the sexual revolution of the 1970s Father David stated that God's luv could also be expressed through [[sex|luvin on]] the loner with a boner.

=== Government parent ===

The government parent is either the effect of failed parenting or a failed society (the government becomes parent after birth by law).

When parents fail, and or fail to properly raise children the kids end up making bad decisions and having to rely on the government to survive. These losers are metaphorically putting on diapers and being spoon fed; the government becomes their nanny. This type of parenting overlaps with the cult and overinvolved.

In a more theoretical scenario the government can act as a deconstructor and constructor of humans. Such was the case in books ''A Brave New World'' by George Orwell and ''1984'' by Aldous Huxley. [[Leftards]] despise humans and wish for them to be more collectivist. The solution is to break everyone down into nothingness so that they can reconstitute their broken minds with "superior" thoughts. Once everyone is deconstructed away from the determinacy of nature and nurture they can do what ever they want with ''their'' subjects. To them, it is freedom from essence taking primacy over existence; that is, one's essential characteristics being defined by their biology. This is the effect of a great amount of [[h8|hatred]] of God, reality, themselves, and people they do or do not know.

== Child custody laws ==

[[File:Jewconnection.png|thumb|Parenting laws in a [[Epic Win|free society]].]]

Child custody [[law]]s define the correct relationship between the parent and child. "Custody" is defined as "the protective care or guardianship of someone or something"—which is the same definition for the word "imprisonment". Child custody laws allow the parent to have access to the child depending the parent's sanity and require them to care for the children.

== History of parenting ==

Parents through most of history (before the industrial revolution) was horrifyingly gruesome: much more than it is now. The best of parents then would be viewed [[Obvious troll|obvious child abusers]] today. Retards back then likely did understand cause and effect; since life was fairly drab [[secks]] was a good way to get your kicks. Kids being the effect, survived but offend had a hard [[Hawaiian Dicking|dicking]] due to boredom or great blunt or sharp force imposed on them for being dumber dumbfucks than the dumbfuck parents. Kids back then were likely [[emo]] by natural causes instead of the cause being the wish for the effect of social acceptance. Most of childrens' artwork probably looked like {{ytlink|cLzYU1juu3g|this}}.

== Parenting across the lifespan ==

=== Infancy ===

{{cg|An idiot's guide to caring for babies|Project-P-12|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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== Galleries ==

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{{cg|My Little Anarchist|Project-P-4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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{{cg|Sexual Exposure|Project-P-9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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Image:Parenting_-_Sexual_Exposure_-_02.jpg|How to spot a filthy [[whore]].
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Image:Parenting_-_Sexual_Exposure_-_04.jpg|Condoms are like candy!
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Image:Parenting_-_Sexual_Exposure_-_11.jpg|"Baby On Board" Twerking
Image:Parenting_-_Sexual_Exposure_-_12.jpg|Because what child wouldn't want a male stripper for their birthday?
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Image:Niggaxmas.jpg|A typical [[nigger]] Christmas.
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{{cg|Kids And Animals|Project-P-13|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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== See Also ==

* [[Pop Parenting]]
* [[Nouglybabies]]
* [[Angelique DeSatanos]]
* [[Pregnancy]]
* [[Abortion]]

{{Biology}}

[[Category:Galleries]]

Parenting - Revision history

imported>Lolyunohavgudsoftware: moved User:Onideus/Parenting to Parenting: Close enough, needs more internets and text