Pandemic - Revision history

Yooco: plandemic

2025-01-31T17:11:50Z

plandemic

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:11, 31 January 2025
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	<center>[[Image:Pandemictop2.png]]</center>		<center>[[Image:Pandemictop2.png]]</center>
	A '''pandemic''' (from [[Greece\|Greek:]] '''Pan''' = Panic + '''Demos''' = We aren’t making enough [[Money\|advertising revenue]]) is an epidemic of infectious news reporting that spreads through media rapidly and on a global scale.		A '''pandemic''' (from [[Greece\|Greek:]] '''Pan''' = Panic + '''Demos''' = We aren’t making enough [[Money\|advertising revenue]]) or '''plandemic''' is an epidemic of infectious news reporting that spreads through media rapidly and on a global scale.

	==Definition==		==Definition==
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	* [http://www.cspan.org/ Curtain]		* [http://www.cspan.org/ Curtain]

			* [https://www.bitchute.com/video/4u7rt61YeGox And especially don't watch this!] <span style="position:absolute; transform:rotate(-10deg); text-transform:uppercase; border:1px solid red; background-color:rgba(255,200,200,0.5);
			margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em; font-weight: bold;">[Banned by YouTube]</span>(Plandemic 2: Indoctornation)


	{{biology}}		{{biology}}
	[[Category:Events]]		[[Category:Events]]

imported>AlGore at 20:33, 3 October 2016

2016-10-03T20:33:48Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:33, 3 October 2016
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	[[Image:Pandemic6.jpg\|thumb\|175px\|left\|Infected individuals may suffer lack of movement.]]		[[Image:Pandemic6.jpg\|thumb\|175px\|left\|Infected individuals may suffer lack of movement.]]

	An old saying that was made popular by the [[Old media\|American news printing industry]] during the early 20th century states that “Good news does not sell newspapers.” This adage, though [[Tabloid\|obscure and trite,]] is still quite true in our [[Future\|modernized present.]] Nobody wants to see pictures of daisies in the morning sunlight or puppies frolicking on a beautiful afternoon with a pretty, red rubber ball. [[You\|Human beings]] are a [[RAGE\|vicious and bloodthirsty]] species that only finds ~~[[Feels good man\|~~pleasure]] when another human is either being slandered to the point of suicide by a court of public opinion, or murdered on live television.		An old saying that was made popular by the [[Old media\|American news printing industry]] during the early 20th century states that “Good news does not sell newspapers.” This adage, though [[Tabloid\|obscure and trite,]] is still quite true in our [[Future\|modernized present.]] Nobody wants to see pictures of daisies in the morning sunlight or puppies frolicking on a beautiful afternoon with a pretty, red rubber ball. [[You\|Human beings]] are a [[RAGE\|vicious and bloodthirsty]] species that only finds pleasure when another human is either being slandered to the point of suicide by a court of public opinion, or murdered on live television.

	Recognizing these traits, the modern 24-hour news media has utilized a system of keywords (or buzzwords) and constantly recurring news broadcasts that continually attack the subject’s mental capacities and virally infect the subject with pandemic. These keywords and broadcasts are usually introduced into the [[Victim complex\|victim]] by employing news broadcasters, or anchor women, who wear revealing clothing while they report and who also have the intellect of a tureen full of boiled [[Terri Schiavo\|turnips.]] By using the subject’s own sexual drive, he is infected.		Recognizing these traits, the modern 24-hour news media has utilized a system of keywords (or buzzwords) and constantly recurring news broadcasts that continually attack the subject’s mental capacities and virally infect the subject with pandemic. These keywords and broadcasts are usually introduced into the [[Victim complex\|victim]] by employing news broadcasters, or anchor women, who wear revealing clothing while they report and who also have the intellect of a tureen full of boiled [[Terri Schiavo\|turnips.]] By using the subject’s own sexual drive, he is infected.

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2015-05-26T18:02:46Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:02, 26 May 2015
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imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2015-05-26T18:02:46Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:02, 26 May 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2015-05-26T18:02:46Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:02, 26 May 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2015-05-26T18:02:46Z

External Links

New page

<center>[[Image:Pandemictop2.png]]</center>
A '''pandemic''' (from [[Greece|Greek:]] '''Pan''' = Panic + '''Demos''' = We aren’t making enough [[Money|advertising revenue]]) is an epidemic of infectious news reporting that spreads through media rapidly and on a global scale.

==Definition==
[[Image:Pandemic2.jpg|thumb|175px|Depression era pandemic.]]
According to the [http://www.nielsenmedia.com/nc/portal/site/Public/ Nielsen ratings company,] a pandemic occurs when one or more of the following conditions are met:

* Something [[Shit nobody cares about|insignificant]] happens during a slow news cycle.

* A nationally recognized university performs a case study finding that some normal everyday activities are in fact deadly.

* The United States Government [[Pulling a Lynndie|does not honor]] the Geneva Convention.

* [[Depression|Stock trading and prices fall.]]

* [[iPod|Inflation increases.]]

* A rich and beautiful American teenager is killed in some [[The Bahamas|third world nation.]]

* A rich and beautiful American [[Anna Nicole Smith|commits suicide]] or is murdered by his or her husband.

==Common Causes and Introduction of Modern Pandemic==
[[Image:Pandemic4.jpg|thumb|175px|Modern day carriers of pandemic.]]
[[Image:Pandemic6.jpg|thumb|175px|left|Infected individuals may suffer lack of movement.]]

An old saying that was made popular by the [[Old media|American news printing industry]] during the early 20th century states that “Good news does not sell newspapers.” This adage, though [[Tabloid|obscure and trite,]] is still quite true in our [[Future|modernized present.]] Nobody wants to see pictures of daisies in the morning sunlight or puppies frolicking on a beautiful afternoon with a pretty, red rubber ball. [[You|Human beings]] are a [[RAGE|vicious and bloodthirsty]] species that only finds [[Feels good man|pleasure]] when another human is either being slandered to the point of suicide by a court of public opinion, or murdered on live television.

Recognizing these traits, the modern 24-hour news media has utilized a system of keywords (or buzzwords) and constantly recurring news broadcasts that continually attack the subject’s mental capacities and virally infect the subject with pandemic. These keywords and broadcasts are usually introduced into the [[Victim complex|victim]] by employing news broadcasters, or anchor women, who wear revealing clothing while they report and who also have the intellect of a tureen full of boiled [[Terri Schiavo|turnips.]] By using the subject’s own sexual drive, he is infected.

==Symptoms==
[[Image:Pandemic7.jpg|thumb|175px|Late stage pandemic]]

The victim, once infected, will show a marked increase of [[Asperger's syndrome|hyper-awareness]] towards all news media outlets, especially concerning irrelevant and trivial news stories. During commercial breaks, shortness of breath, rapid perspiration, and heart palpitations may occur. During live coverage, the victim may show signs of sexual stimulation and may even attempt to have [[Secks|sexual intercourse]] with their television. Over the relatively short time of one week, the infected victim, without treatment, will show a massive [[Retard|downward spike in mental activity,]] finally resolving itself to a painful death that involves the victim’s brain leaking out of his or her ears.

==Treatment==
[[Image:Pandemic1.jpg|thumb|175px|You're doing it wrong...the masks should be over your eyes and ears.]]
[[Image:Pandemic5.jpg|thumb|175px|Rapidly spreading disease.]]

As of this article’s creation, there is no known cure for pandemic. [[Robot|Obey.]] However, the malady can be held off if one is resistant enough to suggestion. [[Your resistance only makes my penis harder!|Do not resist.]] Common treatments, such as turning off the television or radio often fail due to the rapid spread of pandemic within the popular media. [[Cunnilingus|Consume and breed.]] The only known sub-species within the human race that is totally immune to pandemic are those who are totally deaf and blind. [[Slavery|Comply, you are not slaves.]] Genetic research has shown promising advances against pandemic, but as of now, no single trait has been singled out as a way to defeat this debilitating, demoralizing, and depressing disorder.

==Outlook==
[[Image:Pandemic3.jpg|thumb|175px|RIPPED FROM TODAYS HEADLINES!]]

In the future, with the advent of several [[Web 2.0|new technologies]] designed to keep the average human “on line” at all times, the outlook is bleak. Once [[Meaningless noise|24-hour news programming]] is taken off of television and beamed directly into [[Brain|our heads,]] the human species, as a whole, will end as we know it. In a society designed to consume as rapidly and as much as possible, only those people exhibiting total breaks from reality will be immune.

==See Also==
* [[Madagascar#Pandemic 2|Pamdemic 2]]
* [[Fat|Obesity]]
* [[AIDS]]
* [[G.R.I.D.S.]]
* [[Swine Flu]]
* [[Hampster Dance|Bacteriological Ailments]]
* [[Cancer]]
* [[OJ Simpson|Immunosuppression Disorders]]
* [[Meme|Viral Infections]]

==External Links==

* [http://www.cnn.com/ Pay]

* [http://www.foxnews.com/ No]

* [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/ Attention]

* [http://www.cbsnews.com/ To]

* [http://abcnews.go.com/ The]

* [http://news.yahoo.com/ Man]

* [http://www.nytimes.com/ Behind]

* [http://www.latimes.com/ The]

* [http://www.cspan.org/ Curtain]

{{biology}}
[[Category:Events]]