Neuticles.com - Revision history

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2015-05-26T14:37:07Z

External Links

← Older revision	Revision as of 14:37, 26 May 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2015-05-26T14:37:07Z

External Links

← Older revision	Revision as of 14:37, 26 May 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2015-05-26T14:37:07Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:37, 26 May 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2015-05-26T14:37:07Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:37, 26 May 2015
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	{{Sites}}		{{Sites}}

	~~{{Abnormal Psych}}~~

imported>The Chancellor: updated

2014-08-23T16:37:17Z

updated

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:37, 23 August 2014
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	[[Image:Bumpernuts.gif\|thumb\|DO NOT WANT]]		[[Image:Bumpernuts.gif\|thumb\|DO NOT WANT]]

	Are your pets embarrassed about being neutered? Their four-legged friends need never know, thanks to Neuticles.com, a [[website]] created by Gregg A. Miller of Oak Grove, [[Missouri]], to sell testicular implants that restore the look if not the function of recently removed body parts on [[dog]]s, [[cat]]s, and even [[~~horse~~]]s (US Patent #58-68140).		Are your pets embarrassed about being neutered? Their four-legged friends need never know, thanks to Neuticles.com, a [[website]] created by Gregg A. Miller of Oak Grove, [[Missouri]], to sell testicular implants that restore the look if not the function of recently removed body parts on [[dog]]s, [[cat]]s, [[horse]]s, [[monkey]]s, water buffalos and even [[rat]]s (US Patent #58-68140).

	~~In an especially [[Boob\|nice touch]], this website opens with a [[flash]] animation of a bouncing ball (naturally). Yes, these~~ cosmetic [[ball\|cojones]] are no joke; prices start at $69 a pair. Not to be confused with [http://www.~~bumpernuts~~.com/~~index.html BumperNuts~~], which provide a similar service for your ~~car~~.		These cosmetic [[ball\|cojones]] are no joke; prices start at $109 a pair, and Neuticles UltraPLUS are $379/pr and up. Not to be confused with [http://www.trucknutz.com/ TruckNutz], which provide a similar service for your vehicle.

	Many horrified citizens, upon learning about neuticles, have naturally written strongly-worded letters to their congressmen demanding that Gregg A. Miller be hunted down, restrained, and, under local anaesthesia, have huge 90-pound neuticles sewn into each of his facial and [[ass\|buttal]] cheeks. This would only be fair. This legislation is currently scheduled for review in the Senate, as soon as [[Larry Craig]] returns from the men's room where he's been since [[last thursday]].		Many horrified citizens, upon learning about neuticles, have naturally written strongly-worded letters to their congressmen demanding that Gregg A. Miller be hunted down, restrained, and, under local anaesthesia, have huge 90-pound neuticles sewn into each of his facial and [[ass\|buttal]] cheeks. This would only be fair. This legislation is currently scheduled for review in the Senate, as soon as [[Larry Craig]] returns from the men's room where he's been since [[last thursday]].

imported>Leanne at 08:50, 17 June 2014

2014-06-17T08:50:44Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:50, 17 June 2014
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	[[Image:Bumpernuts.gif\|thumb\|DO NOT WANT]]		[[Image:Bumpernuts.gif\|thumb\|DO NOT WANT]]

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	{{Sites}}		{{Sites}}

	{{~~Psychology~~}}		{{Abnormal Psych}}

imported>SheepBot: teaching bitches how to swim

2014-02-11T07:07:57Z

teaching bitches how to swim

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:07, 11 February 2014
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	~~[[Category:~~Sites]]		{{Sites}}

	{{Psychology}}		{{Psychology}}

imported>H64: replacing :category:Abnormal Psych with template:Psychology

2011-10-31T05:42:48Z

replacing category:Abnormal Psych with template:Psychology

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:42, 31 October 2011
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	~~[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]~~
			{{Psychology}}

imported>Unknown: Created page with " DO NOT WANT Are your pets embarrassed about being neutered? Their four-legged friends need never know, thanks to Neuticles.com, a website cre..."

2011-04-16T09:27:37Z

Created page with " thumb|DO NOT WANT Are your pets embarrassed about being neutered? Their four-legged friends need never know, thanks to Neuticles.com, a website cre..."

New page

[[Image:Bumpernuts.gif|thumb|DO NOT WANT]]

Are your pets embarrassed about being neutered? Their four-legged friends need never know, thanks to Neuticles.com, a [[website]] created by Gregg A. Miller of Oak Grove, [[Missouri]], to sell testicular implants that restore the look if not the function of recently removed body parts on [[dog]]s, [[cat]]s, and even [[horse]]s (US Patent #58-68140).

In an especially [[Boob|nice touch]], this website opens with a [[flash]] animation of a bouncing ball (naturally). Yes, these cosmetic [[ball|cojones]] are no joke; prices start at $69 a pair. Not to be confused with [http://www.bumpernuts.com/index.html BumperNuts], which provide a similar service for your car.

Many horrified citizens, upon learning about neuticles, have naturally written strongly-worded letters to their congressmen demanding that Gregg A. Miller be hunted down, restrained, and, under local anaesthesia, have huge 90-pound neuticles sewn into each of his facial and [[ass|buttal]] cheeks. This would only be fair. This legislation is currently scheduled for review in the Senate, as soon as [[Larry Craig]] returns from the men's room where he's been since [[last thursday]].

== Origins ==
[[Image:Gregg Miller.jpg|thumb|120px|Gregg, Buck and a pair of neuticles.]]
Like all [[you|maniac]]s, Miller started with an experiment on an unwitting dog, after his Bloodhound named Buck disappeared and was located days later over 20 miles away. Buck had picked up the scent of a female dog in heat. ''"It was either neuter Buck or go through the nightmare of him taking off again and the next time I most likely wouldn't find him"'', Miller told the press.

Miller deserved the 2005 Ig Nobel Prize in Medicine [[for great justice]].

== What <s>fucktards</s> <s>pet owners</s> fucktards say ==
[[Image:Ihadadreemmyhrblscameback.jpg|thumb|left|Just a dream]]
'''''"I've put off neutering 'Crooked Joe' for months and when I found out about Neuticles and spoke to them it made me feel better about neutering. Joe not only looks the same now- but dosen't know he's missing anything."'''''
Jeff Lane - Oak Park, Ill, on how his dog "dosen't" know he's missing anything

'''''"He's a guy and I wanted him to remain looking like one."'''''
Lane Hinderman - Metairie, [[Louisiana]], closet [[furry]]

'''''"Baby Snow has all the benefits of being neutered--Neuticles are just a whole lot nicer."'''''
Stephen Samual - Redcliff, KY, batshit insane guy who named his pet "Baby Snow"

'''''"Frodo never knew he lost anything and is just a happier little dog since he's been neutered with Neuticles."'''''
Janell Suasser - San Lorenzo, CA, a [[One does not simply X into Mordor|Hobbit]]

''''''"The old way of neutering is [[At least 100|200 years old]]- Neuticles is about 199 years overdue!"'''''' Eric Leven - Tampa Bay, FL, showing his 1337 math [[skillz]]

'''''"A dog is like a kid-consideration for his feelings."'''''
Greg Samual - Fresno, CA, on "[[WTF|kid-consideration]]"

'''''"Just call me a [[sick fuck|caring pet owner.]]"'''''
Trish Fischer - Anchorage, Alaska, call her a [[bestiality|caring pet owner]]

== What the media are saying ==

'''''"Neuticles are just plain neat!"'''''
-[[Rush Limbaugh]] ([http://www.neuticles.com/publicity.php I shit you not])

'''''"Now only Fido's veterinarian will know for sure."'''''
-The Kansas City Star

'''''"Neuticles are a fix for the fix."'''''
-United Features Syndicate

'''''"Neutered dogs have new reason to bark."'''''
-The Idaho Stateman

'''''"A re-invention of the mousetrap."'''''
-Paul Harvey

'''''"Testicular implants ease trauma of neutering."'''''
-The Arizona Republic ([[O RLY?]])

== Procedure ==
<gallery>
Image:Neuticle1.jpg|Neuticle on the surgery tray ready for placement. Neuticles come in various sizes and shapes to be custom fitted to each individual.
Image:Neuticle2.jpg|The neuticle is gently implanted in place of the testicle. A proper fit is imperative, so it is important to order the proper size ahead of time.
Image:Neuticle3.jpg|Suture plz
Image:Neuticle4.jpg|This is the final appearance after the placement of the neuticle.
</gallery>

== See Also ==
*[[Nutsack]]

== External Links ==

*[http://www.neuticles.com/ God, where are you?]
*[http://www.dolittler.com/index.cfm/2006/9/21/pet.vet.vc.9.21.06 More retarded comments]

{{animals}}

[[Category:Sites]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]