Houston - Revision history

Crow caw at 06:38, 29 March 2026

2026-03-29T06:38:55Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:38, 29 March 2026
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	Also known as the "City of [[Fat\|Sin]]" (in a <s>sad</s> bad-ass attempt to one-up Las Vegas), Houston is the largest city in "[[Texas]]".		Also known as the "City of [[Fat\|Sin]]" (in a <s>sad</s> bad-ass attempt to one-up Las Vegas), Houston is the largest city in "[[Texas]]".
	It's the largest city in terms of overall sprawl, it's the largest city in terms of population (numbers) and it's the largest city in terms of population size (XXXXL). Seriously, these are some seriously fat ppl.		It's the largest city in terms of overall sprawl, it's the largest city in terms of population (numbers) and it's the largest city in terms of population size (XXXXL). Seriously, these are some seriously fat ppl. Notice how Houston is the only TX city that ever receives national news media attention: because the pro-car biased mainstream media views this terrible sprawling wasteland as the future. Fuck car cult(ure)!

	The area of Houston was once inhabited by [[Indian\|injuns]] but was later reclaimed after [[Mexicans]] killed them all for [[beer]]. [[LOL]], years later Americans came and ate all the Mexican tacos and the Mexicans had to move to [[California]]. [[LOL]], then the [[niggers]]s came from a <s>time portal</s> New Orleans and bawwwwed Houston into taking them in, making it more [[ghetto]]. It is most known for its bad traffic and obesity rates (as a result of car dependence disguised as MUH FREEDUMB!!).		The area of Houston was once inhabited by [[Indian\|injuns]] but was later reclaimed after [[Mexicans]] killed them all for [[beer]]. [[LOL]], years later Americans came and ate all the Mexican tacos and the Mexicans had to move to [[California]]. [[LOL]], then the [[niggers]]s came from a <s>time portal</s> New Orleans and bawwwwed Houston into taking them in, making it more [[ghetto]]. It is most known for its bad traffic and obesity rates (as a result of car dependence disguised as MUH FREEDUMB!!).

Crow caw: /* People & Neighborhoods */

2026-03-24T19:21:49Z

People & Neighborhoods

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:21, 24 March 2026
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	In Houston- Clear Lake and Ellington: [[Space]]! This is where the astronauts train for their roles in <s>space exploration</s> fake spaceflight movies filmed in the basement of JSC. Also an old Air Force Base that's mostly civilian stuff now, but one ANG unit is still active. The only thing scarier than the constant threat of space shuttle explosions is the golden orb weaver spiders found here.		In Houston- Clear Lake and Ellington: [[Space]]! This is where the astronauts train for their roles in <s>space exploration</s> fake spaceflight movies filmed in the basement of JSC. Also an old Air Force Base that's mostly civilian stuff now, but one ANG unit is still active. The only thing scarier than the constant threat of space shuttle explosions is the golden orb weaver spiders found here.

	In Harris County- Pasadena, Deer Park, La Porte, etc.: HERE BE DRAGONS. This is quite literally the armpit of the Houston area (it smells like one too.) Nothing but chemical plants and the ship channel. The sun shines about five times a year in this area from all the pollution. Nothing but poor white people and illiterate [[Mexicans]] live here. The types of people the creepy pervert David M. Fleisher wants to rape to death.		In Harris County- Pasadena, Deer Park, La Porte, etc.: HERE BE DRAGONS. This is quite literally the armpit of the Houston area (it smells like one too.) Nothing but chemical plants and the ship channel. The sun shines about five times a year in this area from all the pollution. Nothing but poor white people and illiterate [[Mexicans]] live here. The types of people the creepy pervert David M. Fleisher wants to rape to death. No public transit exists here at all. No wonder air quality is so bad. Not to be confused with its equally car-dependent namesake thousands of kilometres west in [[LA]].

	Further ~~easy~~- Beaumont and Port Arthur are two small cities with worse air quality than [[Beijing]] and moar scary spiders! Walking instead of driving carries mandatory death sentence. Whites are a minority and the [[negroes]] let you know it. Don't take a taxi here unless you want to die.		Further east- Beaumont and Port Arthur are two small cities with worse air quality than [[Beijing]] and moar scary spiders! Walking instead of driving carries mandatory death sentence. Whites are a minority and the [[negroes]] let you know it. Don't take a taxi here unless you want to die.

	==Sports==		==Sports==

Crow caw: /* People & Neighborhoods */

2026-03-23T07:48:54Z

People & Neighborhoods

Crow caw: /* People & Neighborhoods */

2026-03-21T07:40:23Z

People & Neighborhoods

Crow caw: /* People & Neighborhoods */

2025-10-18T14:44:28Z

People & Neighborhoods

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:44, 18 October 2025
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	'''Magnolia County - Conroe/Magnolia'''		'''Magnolia County - Conroe/Magnolia'''

	Trade your BMW or Lexus for a F250, cowboy boots, and illiteracy. The average speed limit on I-45 in this area is in the triple digits, even through the constant construction that makes downtown Houston look quiet. Conroe is also a haven for illegal immigrants and recently released inmates, as it's right between Houston and [[Prison\|Huntsville]]. The plus-sized trashiness is only matched by the plus-sized inhabitants, whose favorite pastimes include riding their rascals at Walmart and wiggling fishing poles at Academy. Magnolia, meanwhile, is too busy brewing moonshine and shooting colored folk to be bothered. In fact, [[you]] should go bother them, as [[Fact\|they totally won't shoot at you for trespassing]].		Trade your BMW or Lexus for a F250, cowboy boots, and illiteracy. The average speed limit on I-45 in this area is in the triple digits, even through the constant construction that makes downtown Houston look quiet. Conroe is also a haven for illegal immigrants and recently released inmates, as it's right between Houston and [[Prison\|Huntsville]]. The plus-sized trashiness is only matched by the plus-sized inhabitants, whose favorite pastimes include riding their rascals at Walmart and wiggling fishing poles at Academy. Magnolia, meanwhile, is too busy brewing moonshine and shooting colored folk to be bothered. In fact, [[you]] should go bother them, as [[Fact\|they totally won't shoot at you for trespassing]]. [[Autistic]] people are completely banned from entering Conroe and will immediately be shot dead by their pigs with badges on sight. What is this, [[Florida]]?

	'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and West of 288'''		'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and West of 288'''

Crow caw at 23:33, 31 October 2024

2024-10-31T23:33:46Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:33, 31 October 2024
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	It's the largest city in terms of overall sprawl, it's the largest city in terms of population (numbers) and it's the largest city in terms of population size (XXXXL). Seriously, these are some seriously fat ppl.		It's the largest city in terms of overall sprawl, it's the largest city in terms of population (numbers) and it's the largest city in terms of population size (XXXXL). Seriously, these are some seriously fat ppl.

	The area of Houston was once inhabited by [[Indian\|injuns]] but was later reclaimed after [[Mexicans]] killed them all for [[beer]]. [[LOL]], years later Americans came and ate all the Mexican tacos and the Mexicans had to move to [[California]]. [[LOL]], then the [[niggers]]s came from a <s>time portal</s> New Orleans and bawwwwed Houston into taking them in, making it more [[ghetto]]. It is most known for its bad traffic and obesity rates.		The area of Houston was once inhabited by [[Indian\|injuns]] but was later reclaimed after [[Mexicans]] killed them all for [[beer]]. [[LOL]], years later Americans came and ate all the Mexican tacos and the Mexicans had to move to [[California]]. [[LOL]], then the [[niggers]]s came from a <s>time portal</s> New Orleans and bawwwwed Houston into taking them in, making it more [[ghetto]]. It is most known for its bad traffic and obesity rates (as a result of car dependence disguised as MUH FREEDUMB!!).

	Also the mayor of Houston is ~~a [[lesbian]]~~. Take that ~~bible thumpers~~!		Also the mayor of Houston is an old hwhite bald oil billionaire named John. Take that negroes!

	==Attractions==		==Attractions==
	Moar [[~~Black~~]] ~~people~~!		Moar [[nigga\|nigz]]!

	Moar highways!		Moar highways!
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	==People & Neighborhoods==		==People & Neighborhoods==
	Houston is a city of contrasts well separated by its highway system.		Houston is a city of contrasts well separated by its highway system ([[Segregation\|by design]]).

	'''Inside the 610 Loop - General'''		'''Inside the 610 Loop - General'''

	People here are constantly drunk or stoned. This is why they seem so friendly. The moment you get outside the 610 Loop, some redneck is going to pop a cap in your ass.		People here are constantly drunk or stoned on delta 8. This is why they seem so friendly. The moment you get outside the 610 Loop, some redneck is going to pop a cap in your ass.

	'''Inside the 610 Loop - Downtown'''		'''Inside the 610 Loop - Downtown'''

	This is where white people commute two hours to get to every morning. They work for big oil and gas companies and they plan their day around where to go for lunch (Chili's) and how early they can get out of work to beat the traffic home (2:00 pm). Also downtown you will often see Mexican labor crews working on building more ~~buildings~~ or going to and from their restaurant jobs on the bus. The last group you might see downtown are female black administrative assistants. They are the only people that do any real work and they get paid 1% more than the Mexicans working at Chili's.		This is where white people commute two hours to get to every morning. They work for big oil and gas companies that lobby the government for one more lane, bro(!!) and they plan their day around where to go for lunch (Chili's) and how early they can get out of work to beat the traffic home (2:00 pm). Also downtown you will often see Mexican labor crews working on building more highways and parking lots or going to and from their restaurant jobs on the bus or laughably tiny tram system while rich Tesla-driving suburbanites complain about Texas getting "California'd" because they have to look at minorities and poor people. The last group you might see downtown are female black administrative assistants. They are the only people that do any real work and they get paid 1% more than the Mexicans working at Chili's.

	'''Inside the 610 Loop, west of Downtown - Montrose'''		'''Inside the 610 Loop, west of Downtown - Montrose'''
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	==Sitting In Metal Pods==		==Sitting In Metal Pods==

	There is no visiting Houston, there is only sitting in traffic in Houston. The outside world has to send in food trucks to people in their car once a week. No one hears from them again. The truth is: 2.3 million people live in Houston and they are always on the highway. [[Budweiser]] has tried to send out word to the outside world about this truth. But unfortunately, [[Stupid\|they]] tried to do it on [[Fox News\|Faux News]]. Everyone watching is having a hard time trying to get out of [[George Bush]]'s ass much less a large asshole city... but even those people aren't watching [[Fox News\|Faux]] and [[Friends]]. If you dare to suggest building public transport or bike lanes as an alternative to driving, the car-loving politicians will brutally execute you via lethal injection with 300 litres of pure crude oil into your blood. No, this is 'Murica, where one moar lane bro rules all! Liveable cities are for those pussy [[Europe\|Eurofags]]!		There is no visiting Houston, there is only sitting in traffic in Houston. The outside world has to send in food trucks to people in their car once a week. No one hears from them again. The truth is: 2.3 million people live in Houston and they are always on the highway. [[Budweiser]] has tried to send out word to the outside world about this truth. But unfortunately, [[Stupid\|they]] tried to do it on [[Fox News\|Faux News]]. Everyone watching is having a hard time trying to get out of [[George Bush]]'s ass much less a large asshole city... but even those people aren't watching [[Fox News\|Faux]] and [[Friends]]. If you dare to suggest building public transport or bike lanes as an alternative to driving, the car-loving politicians will brutally execute you via botched lethal injection with 300 litres of pure crude oil into your blood. A modern urban metropolis? No, this is 'Murica, where one moar lane bro rules all! Liveable cities are for those pussy [[Europe\|Eurofags]]!

	==See Also==		==See Also==
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	* [[WTF]]		* [[WTF]]
	* [[Texas]]		* [[Texas]]
			* [[Obesity]]
			* [[Traffic]]
	* [[Gay]]		* [[Gay]]
	* [[Viper]] - Rapper that specifies in the autism genre, originates from here.		* [[Viper]] - Rapper that specifies in the autism genre, originates from here.
			* [[NotJustBikes]] - [[Canada\|Cuntnadian]] "refugee" billionaire who ran away like a coward to Amsterdam in his 10 private jets and 20 yachts just because he doesn't want to live on the same continent as Houston, which [[dumbass\|he thinks represents all of North America]].

	{{Afro}}		{{Afro}}

Crow caw: /* Sitting In Your Car */

2024-10-29T01:51:52Z

Sitting In Your Car

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:51, 29 October 2024
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	'''Houston Dynamo''': Major League Soccer team that [[noone]] gives a fuck about outside the Hispanic race and bandwagon bros who think it makes you edgy to like soccer.		'''Houston Dynamo''': Major League Soccer team that [[noone]] gives a fuck about outside the Hispanic race and bandwagon bros who think it makes you edgy to like soccer.

	==Sitting In ~~Your Car~~==		==Sitting In Metal Pods==

	There is no visiting Houston, there is only sitting in traffic in Houston. The outside world has to send in food trucks to people in their car once a week. No one hears from them again. The truth is: 2.3 million people live in Houston and they are always on the highway. [[Budweiser]] has tried to send out word to the outside world about this truth. But unfortunately, [[Stupid\|they]] tried to do it on [[Fox News\|Faux News]]. Everyone watching is having a hard time trying to get out of [[George Bush]]'s ass much less a large asshole city... but even those people aren't watching [[Fox News\|Faux]] and [[Friends]].		There is no visiting Houston, there is only sitting in traffic in Houston. The outside world has to send in food trucks to people in their car once a week. No one hears from them again. The truth is: 2.3 million people live in Houston and they are always on the highway. [[Budweiser]] has tried to send out word to the outside world about this truth. But unfortunately, [[Stupid\|they]] tried to do it on [[Fox News\|Faux News]]. Everyone watching is having a hard time trying to get out of [[George Bush]]'s ass much less a large asshole city... but even those people aren't watching [[Fox News\|Faux]] and [[Friends]]. If you dare to suggest building public transport or bike lanes as an alternative to driving, the car-loving politicians will brutally execute you via lethal injection with 300 litres of pure crude oil into your blood. No, this is 'Murica, where one moar lane bro rules all! Liveable cities are for those pussy [[Europe\|Eurofags]]!

	==See Also==		==See Also==

Crow caw: /* Attractions */

2024-10-29T01:48:24Z

Attractions

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:48, 29 October 2024
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	==Attractions==		==Attractions==
	Moar [[Black]] people!		Moar [[Black]] people!

			Moar highways!

			Moar lane, bro!

			Moar suburban sprawl!

	[[Image:Bud_montage.jpg\|right\|thumb\|Horse [[piss]] and water: the taste [[America]] craves.]]Houston is also home to a [[Budweiser]] <s>Beer brewery, which has caused the entire city to smell like [[shit]]</s> Distribution Warehouse. The horses from which they draw the [[beer]]'s main ingredient are immortalized at the front of building. On rainy days a passing tourist might even spot the facility's [[patent]]ed method of adding a perfect mix of water to their brew.		[[Image:Bud_montage.jpg\|right\|thumb\|Horse [[piss]] and water: the taste [[America]] craves.]]Houston is also home to a [[Budweiser]] <s>Beer brewery, which has caused the entire city to smell like [[shit]]</s> Distribution Warehouse. The horses from which they draw the [[beer]]'s main ingredient are immortalized at the front of building. On rainy days a passing tourist might even spot the facility's [[patent]]ed method of adding a perfect mix of water to their brew.

	From 1968 to 2005, Houston was home to Astroworld, where the [[teenagers]] from all around wasted their summers, and where familes spent quality time together. In 2005, Six Flags' [[Fag\|CEO]] annouced that Astroworld [[Goodnight Sweet Prince\|would be closed]], so that they could sell the land to developers for [[over 9000]] jew gold. However, after the site was cleared, it was sold for less than half of what was expected, and [[Srsly\|the land is only used as a big fucking parking lot for the rodeo]].		From 1968 to 2005, Houston was home to Astroworld, where the [[teenagers]] from all around wasted their summers, and where familes spent quality time together. In 2005, Six Flags' [[Fag\|CEO]] annouced that Astroworld [[Goodnight Sweet Prince\|would be closed]], so that they could sell the land to developers for [[over 9000]] jew gold. However, after the site was cleared, it was sold for less than half of what was expected, and [[Srsly\|the land is only used as a big fucking parking lot for the rodeo]]. As if Houston doesn't have enough parking lots.

	Don't forget about [[Mexicans\|Taqueria Arandas]].		Don't forget about [[Mexicans\|Taqueria Arandas]].

CLU: Reverted edit by Smiggles (talk) to last revision by imported>I hate autistic people

2024-08-25T17:23:51Z

Reverted edit by Smiggles (talk) to last revision by [[User:imported>I hate autistic people|imported>I hate autistic people]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:23, 25 August 2024
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	[[Image:Niggerstakeoverfacebook.png\|thumb\|Houstonians]]		[[Image:Niggerstakeoverfacebook.png\|thumb\|Houstonians]]

	Also known as the "City of [[Fat\|Sin]]" (in a <s>sad</s> bad-ass attempt to one-up Las Vegas), ~~'''~~Houston~~'''~~ is the largest city in "[[Texas]]".		Also known as the "City of [[Fat\|Sin]]" (in a <s>sad</s> bad-ass attempt to one-up Las Vegas), Houston is the largest city in "[[Texas]]".
	It's the largest city in terms of overall sprawl, it's the largest city in terms of population (numbers) and it's the largest city in terms of population size (XXXXL). Seriously, these are some seriously fat ppl.		It's the largest city in terms of overall sprawl, it's the largest city in terms of population (numbers) and it's the largest city in terms of population size (XXXXL). Seriously, these are some seriously fat ppl.

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	Just west of the urban sprawl of downtown, the Montrose district of Houston is well-known for overpriced Greek eateries, incompetent bartenders, and		Just west of the urban sprawl of downtown, the Montrose district of Houston is well-known for overpriced Greek eateries, incompetent bartenders, and
	the kind of full-on Jew debauchery that would generally be associated with a [[~~win~~]] bathhouse. Known as the "MAN-trose" to those in the know, this is a great place to find varying degrees of the slothful homeless and the stains of fresh semen throughout the back alleyways. For many this is the center of urban nightlife in Houston, and it is possible to find an all-bareback poz party at any time of the day. Individuals new to the city will know they've reached this historic district when they are being approached by several homeless men begging for spare change and strange men promising satisfying [[Fellatio\|blowjobs]].		the kind of full-on Jew debauchery that would generally be associated with a [[gay]] bathhouse. Known as the "MAN-trose" to those in the know, this is a great place to find varying degrees of the slothful homeless and the stains of fresh semen throughout the back alleyways. For many this is the center of urban nightlife in Houston, and it is possible to find an all-bareback poz party at any time of the day. Individuals new to the city will know they've reached this historic district when they are being approached by several homeless men begging for spare change and strange men promising satisfying [[Fellatio\|blowjobs]].

	Don't try raising a family in Montrose unless you want your kid asking why that cowboy isn't wearing pants, and why Tonto is on a leash.		Don't try raising a family in Montrose unless you want your kid asking why that cowboy isn't wearing pants, and why Tonto is on a leash.
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	There is no visiting Houston, there is only sitting in traffic in Houston. The outside world has to send in food trucks to people in their car once a week. No one hears from them again. The truth is: 2.3 million people live in Houston and they are always on the highway. [[Budweiser]] has tried to send out word to the outside world about this truth. But unfortunately, [[Stupid\|they]] tried to do it on [[Fox News\|Faux News]]. Everyone watching is having a hard time trying to get out of [[George Bush]]'s ass much less a large asshole city... but even those people aren't watching [[Fox News\|Faux]] and [[Friends]].		There is no visiting Houston, there is only sitting in traffic in Houston. The outside world has to send in food trucks to people in their car once a week. No one hears from them again. The truth is: 2.3 million people live in Houston and they are always on the highway. [[Budweiser]] has tried to send out word to the outside world about this truth. But unfortunately, [[Stupid\|they]] tried to do it on [[Fox News\|Faux News]]. Everyone watching is having a hard time trying to get out of [[George Bush]]'s ass much less a large asshole city... but even those people aren't watching [[Fox News\|Faux]] and [[Friends]].

	==See ~~also~~==		==See Also==
	* [[Ghetto]]		* [[Ghetto]]
	* [[Crap]]		* [[Crap]]
	* [[WTF]]		* [[WTF]]
	* [[Texas]]		* [[Texas]]
	* [[~~win~~]]		* [[Gay]]
	* [[Viper]] - Rapper that specifies in the autism genre, originates from here.		* [[Viper]] - Rapper that specifies in the autism genre, originates from here.

Smiggles: win, replaced: gay → win (2)

2024-08-25T15:03:47Z

win, replaced: gay → win (2)

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:03, 25 August 2024
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	[[Image:Niggerstakeoverfacebook.png\|thumb\|Houstonians]]		[[Image:Niggerstakeoverfacebook.png\|thumb\|Houstonians]]

	Also known as the "City of [[Fat\|Sin]]" (in a <s>sad</s> bad-ass attempt to one-up Las Vegas), Houston is the largest city in "[[Texas]]".		Also known as the "City of [[Fat\|Sin]]" (in a <s>sad</s> bad-ass attempt to one-up Las Vegas), '''Houston''' is the largest city in "[[Texas]]".
	It's the largest city in terms of overall sprawl, it's the largest city in terms of population (numbers) and it's the largest city in terms of population size (XXXXL). Seriously, these are some seriously fat ppl.		It's the largest city in terms of overall sprawl, it's the largest city in terms of population (numbers) and it's the largest city in terms of population size (XXXXL). Seriously, these are some seriously fat ppl.

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	Just west of the urban sprawl of downtown, the Montrose district of Houston is well-known for overpriced Greek eateries, incompetent bartenders, and		Just west of the urban sprawl of downtown, the Montrose district of Houston is well-known for overpriced Greek eateries, incompetent bartenders, and
	the kind of full-on Jew debauchery that would generally be associated with a [[~~gay~~]] bathhouse. Known as the "MAN-trose" to those in the know, this is a great place to find varying degrees of the slothful homeless and the stains of fresh semen throughout the back alleyways. For many this is the center of urban nightlife in Houston, and it is possible to find an all-bareback poz party at any time of the day. Individuals new to the city will know they've reached this historic district when they are being approached by several homeless men begging for spare change and strange men promising satisfying [[Fellatio\|blowjobs]].		the kind of full-on Jew debauchery that would generally be associated with a [[win]] bathhouse. Known as the "MAN-trose" to those in the know, this is a great place to find varying degrees of the slothful homeless and the stains of fresh semen throughout the back alleyways. For many this is the center of urban nightlife in Houston, and it is possible to find an all-bareback poz party at any time of the day. Individuals new to the city will know they've reached this historic district when they are being approached by several homeless men begging for spare change and strange men promising satisfying [[Fellatio\|blowjobs]].

	Don't try raising a family in Montrose unless you want your kid asking why that cowboy isn't wearing pants, and why Tonto is on a leash.		Don't try raising a family in Montrose unless you want your kid asking why that cowboy isn't wearing pants, and why Tonto is on a leash.
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	There is no visiting Houston, there is only sitting in traffic in Houston. The outside world has to send in food trucks to people in their car once a week. No one hears from them again. The truth is: 2.3 million people live in Houston and they are always on the highway. [[Budweiser]] has tried to send out word to the outside world about this truth. But unfortunately, [[Stupid\|they]] tried to do it on [[Fox News\|Faux News]]. Everyone watching is having a hard time trying to get out of [[George Bush]]'s ass much less a large asshole city... but even those people aren't watching [[Fox News\|Faux]] and [[Friends]].		There is no visiting Houston, there is only sitting in traffic in Houston. The outside world has to send in food trucks to people in their car once a week. No one hears from them again. The truth is: 2.3 million people live in Houston and they are always on the highway. [[Budweiser]] has tried to send out word to the outside world about this truth. But unfortunately, [[Stupid\|they]] tried to do it on [[Fox News\|Faux News]]. Everyone watching is having a hard time trying to get out of [[George Bush]]'s ass much less a large asshole city... but even those people aren't watching [[Fox News\|Faux]] and [[Friends]].

	==See ~~Also~~==		==See also==
	* [[Ghetto]]		* [[Ghetto]]
	* [[Crap]]		* [[Crap]]
	* [[WTF]]		* [[WTF]]
	* [[Texas]]		* [[Texas]]
	* [[~~Gay~~]]		* [[win]]
	* [[Viper]] - Rapper that specifies in the autism genre, originates from here.		* [[Viper]] - Rapper that specifies in the autism genre, originates from here.

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:48, 23 March 2026
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	'''Magnolia County - The Woodlands'''		'''Magnolia County - The Woodlands'''

	Just north of Spring is the [[Rich\|developed community]] of The Woodlands. As it's outside of Harris county the taxes are next to nothing, which has resulted in young families moving north and spending their trust funds on high-end delis, Starbucks, and dogs the size of horses. Everyone hear either lives in million dollar mansions with a country club for a back yard or shady apartments which also happen to have country clubs in their back yard. There are no recent college graduates here - everyone is either under 18 or in their early 40s. In other words, rich and boring. Only plus side: The Woodlands is walkable and has decent bike trails, unlike the highway-infested Houston itself.		Just north of Spring is the [[Rich\|developed community]] of The Woodlands. As it's outside of Harris county the taxes are next to nothing, which has resulted in young families moving north and spending their trust funds on high-end delis, Starbucks, and dogs the size of horses. Everyone hear either lives in million dollar mansions with a country club for a back yard or shady apartments which also happen to have country clubs in their back yard. There are no recent college graduates here - everyone is either under 18 or in their early 40s. In other words, rich and boring. Notably infested with mosquitoes. Only plus side: The Woodlands is walkable and has decent bike trails, unlike the highway-infested Houston itself.

	'''Magnolia County - Conroe/Magnolia'''		'''Magnolia County - Conroe/Magnolia'''

	Trade your BMW or Lexus for a F250, cowboy boots, and illiteracy. The average speed limit on I-45 in this area is in the triple digits, even through the constant construction that makes downtown Houston look quiet. Conroe is also a haven for illegal immigrants and recently released inmates, as it's right between Houston and [[Prison\|Huntsville]]. Huntsville used to be known as the "death capital of the Americas" before [[Tampa]] succeeded it. The plus-sized trashiness is only matched by the plus-sized inhabitants, whose favorite pastimes include riding their rascals at Walmart and wiggling fishing poles at Academy. Magnolia, meanwhile, is too busy brewing moonshine and shooting ~~colored~~ folk to be bothered. In fact, [[you]] should go bother them, as [[Fact\|they totally won't shoot at you for trespassing]]. [[Autistic]] people are completely banned from entering Conroe and will immediately be shot dead by their pigs with badges on sight. What is this, [[Florida]]?		Trade your BMW or Lexus for a F250, cowboy boots, and illiteracy. The average speed limit on I-45 in this area is in the triple digits, even through the constant construction that makes downtown Houston look quiet. Conroe is also a haven for illegal immigrants and recently released inmates, as it's right between Houston and [[Prison\|Huntsville]]. Huntsville used to be known as the "death capital of the Americas" before [[Tampa]] succeeded it. The plus-sized trashiness is only matched by the plus-sized inhabitants, whose favorite pastimes include riding their rascals at Walmart and wiggling fishing poles at Academy. Speaking English in this area carries a mandatory death sentence. Magnolia, meanwhile, is too busy brewing moonshine and shooting coloured folk to be bothered. In fact, [[you]] should go bother them, as [[Fact\|they totally won't shoot at you for trespassing]]. [[Autistic]] people are completely banned from entering Conroe and will immediately be shot dead by their pigs with badges on sight. What is this, [[Florida]]?

	'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and West of 288'''		'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and West of 288'''
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	In Houston itself- Memorial, Westchase, and Alief. A major snore-fest, nothing but boring white people and [[azns]] with their houses, and all their shitty fast food joints, supermarkets, consumer goods outlets, and Starbucks they need to thrive.		In Houston itself- Memorial, Westchase, and Alief. A major snore-fest, nothing but boring white people and [[azns]] with their houses, and all their shitty fast food joints, supermarkets, consumer goods outlets, and Starbucks they need to thrive.

	Fort Bend County- Sugar Land, Stafford, and Missouri City. [[George Carlin\|All you got is mile after mile of mall after mall...they put the mini-malls in between the major malls, and in between the mini-malls they put the mini-marts. And in between the mini-marts you got your car lots, gas stations, auto shops, strip clubs, and dirty bookstores]]. This area is nothing but [[America\|a soulless cesspool of consumerism]]. Sure, there was the Imperial Sugar mill, but a lot of that got [[banhammered]] several years ago. You can be everywhere and nowhere at the same time here. Interestingly enough, Fort Bend County is a demoncrap farty stronghold due to it being one of the few parts of the area with a large [[chink]] and [[curry nigger]] population. Meanwhile, the Chinese, Arab and Indian migrants in the northern suburbs of [[Dallas\|Houston's arch nemesis]] vote repub.		Fort Bend County- Sugar Land, Stafford, and Missouri City. [[George Carlin\|All you got is mile after mile of mall after mall...they put the mini-malls in between the major malls, and in between the mini-malls they put the mini-marts. And in between the mini-marts you got your car lots, gas stations, auto shops, strip clubs, and dirty bookstores]]. This area is nothing but [[America\|a soulless cesspool of consumerism]]. Sure, there was the Imperial Sugar mill, but a lot of that got [[banhammered]] several years ago. You can be everywhere and nowhere at the same time here. Interestingly enough, Fort Bend County is a [[democrat\|demoncrap farty]] stronghold due to it being one of the few parts of the area with a large [[chink]] and [[curry nigger]] population. Meanwhile, the Chinese, [[Arab]] and [[Indian]] migrants in the northern suburbs of [[Dallas\|Houston's arch nemesis]] have gone the opposite direction and vote repub. Despite its liberal-ish tendencies, the Asian population has copied the bad habits of beating kids with belts (not beltway, retard!) from the Amerikunt rednecks. What is this, [[Singapore]]? I wish. At least they have real public transit.

	'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and East of 288'''		'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and East of 288'''
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	Brazoria and Galveston Counties (Pearland, Friendswood, and League City): Just more [[rich]] [[white]] assholes and their [[faggoty]] [[golf\|golf courses]]. Mostly NASA workers, government contractors, and other aerospace-techie types live here. Planes taking off from Hobby can be constantly seen over one's head here.		Brazoria and Galveston Counties (Pearland, Friendswood, and League City): Just more [[rich]] [[white]] assholes and their [[faggoty]] [[golf\|golf courses]]. Mostly NASA workers, government contractors, and other aerospace-techie types live here. Planes taking off from Hobby can be constantly seen over one's head here.

	In Houston- Clear Lake and Ellington: [[Space]]! This is where the astronauts train for their roles in <s>space exploration</s> fake spaceflight movies filmed in the basement of JSC. Also an old Air Force Base that's mostly civilian stuff now, but one ANG unit is still active.		In Houston- Clear Lake and Ellington: [[Space]]! This is where the astronauts train for their roles in <s>space exploration</s> fake spaceflight movies filmed in the basement of JSC. Also an old Air Force Base that's mostly civilian stuff now, but one ANG unit is still active. The only thing scarier than the constant threat of space shuttle explosions is the golden orb weaver spiders found here.

	In Harris County- Pasadena, Deer Park, La Porte, etc.: HERE BE DRAGONS. This is quite literally the armpit of the Houston area (it smells like one too.) Nothing but chemical plants and the ship channel. The sun shines about five times a year in this area from all the pollution. Nothing but poor white people and [[Mexicans]] live here. The types of people the creepy pervert David M. Fleisher wants to rape to death.		In Harris County- Pasadena, Deer Park, La Porte, etc.: HERE BE DRAGONS. This is quite literally the armpit of the Houston area (it smells like one too.) Nothing but chemical plants and the ship channel. The sun shines about five times a year in this area from all the pollution. Nothing but poor white people and illiterate [[Mexicans]] live here. The types of people the creepy pervert David M. Fleisher wants to rape to death.

			Further easy- Beaumont and Port Arthur are two small cities with worse air quality than [[Beijing]] and moar scary spiders! Walking instead of driving carries mandatory death sentence. Whites are a minority and the [[negroes]] let you know it. Don't take a taxi here unless you want to die.

	==Sports==		==Sports==

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:40, 21 March 2026
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	Just west of the urban sprawl of downtown, the Montrose district of Houston is well-known for overpriced Greek eateries, incompetent bartenders, and		Just west of the urban sprawl of downtown, the Montrose district of Houston is well-known for overpriced Greek eateries, incompetent bartenders, and
	the kind of full-on Jew debauchery that would generally be associated with a [[gay]] bathhouse. Known as the "MAN-trose" to those in the know, this is a great place to find varying degrees of the slothful homeless and the stains of fresh semen throughout the back alleyways. For many this is the center of urban nightlife in Houston, and it is possible to find an all-bareback poz party at any time of the day. Individuals new to the city will know they've reached this historic district when they are being approached by several homeless men begging for spare change and strange men promising satisfying [[Fellatio\|blowjobs]].		the kind of full-on Jew debauchery that would generally be associated with a [[gay]] bathhouse. Known as the "MAN-trose" to those in the know, this is a great place to find varying degrees of the slothful homeless and the stains of fresh semen throughout the back alleyways. For many this is the center of urban nightlife in Houston, and it is possible to find an all-bareback poz party at any time of the day. Individuals new to the city will know they've reached this historic district when they are being approached by several homeless men begging for spare change and strange men promising satisfying [[Fellatio\|blowjobs]]. This is where the American version of [[Doug Ford]] known as Shitfire (aka Whitmire) hails from. Also the [[Aneros]] factory is located here.

	Don't try raising a family in Montrose unless you want your kid asking why that cowboy isn't wearing pants, and why Tonto is on a leash.		Don't try raising a family in Montrose unless you want your kid asking why that cowboy isn't wearing pants, and why Tonto is on a leash.
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	#Spec's liquor stores and their [[Alcoholic\|get 2 for 1 specials]].		#Spec's liquor stores and their [[Alcoholic\|get 2 for 1 specials]].
	#It's hot and humid and that makes people go nuts with guns.		#It's hot and humid and that makes people go nuts with guns.
			#The spics are too stupid to learn English and are even illiterate in their native Spanish language.

	'''Between Beltway 8 and Highway 6 - Suburbs'''		'''Between Beltway 8 and Highway 6 - Suburbs'''

	This is where the [[white people]] live in their gated communities. Everyone has a three car garage (for the three Lincoln Navigators), a heated swimmin' pool (cement pond), a 4,000 square foot house without a basement and a dog the size of a horse. No minorities are allowed to live here. During the day you might see some Mexican people cleaning houses or cutting lawns but they should be gone by the time you finish your 3 hour commute home from work. Most of the white people attend [[Fresh Prince\|Bellaire High School]] where there is a lot of niggers and Jews. [[Trap]]!!!		This is where the [[white people]] live in their gated communities. Everyone has a three car garage (for the three Lincoln Navigators), a heated swimmin' pool (cement pond), a 4,000 square foot house without a basement and a dog the size of a horse. No minorities are allowed to live here. During the day you might see some Mexican people cleaning houses or cutting lawns but they should be gone by the time you finish your 3 hour commute home from work. Most of the white people attend [[Fresh Prince\|Bellaire High School]] where there is a lot of affirmative action niggers and Jews. [[Trap]]!!!

	'''Outside Highway 6 - Plains'''		'''Outside Highway 6 - Plains'''
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	'''Magnolia County - The Woodlands'''		'''Magnolia County - The Woodlands'''

	Just north of Spring is the [[Rich\|developed community]] of The Woodlands. As it's outside of Harris county the taxes are next to nothing, which has resulted in young families moving north and spending their trust funds on high-end delis, Starbucks, and dogs the size of horses. Everyone hear either lives in million dollar mansions with a country club for a back yard or shady apartments which also happen to have country clubs in their back yard. There are no recent college graduates here - everyone is either under 18 or in their early 40s. In other words, rich and boring.		Just north of Spring is the [[Rich\|developed community]] of The Woodlands. As it's outside of Harris county the taxes are next to nothing, which has resulted in young families moving north and spending their trust funds on high-end delis, Starbucks, and dogs the size of horses. Everyone hear either lives in million dollar mansions with a country club for a back yard or shady apartments which also happen to have country clubs in their back yard. There are no recent college graduates here - everyone is either under 18 or in their early 40s. In other words, rich and boring. Only plus side: The Woodlands is walkable and has decent bike trails, unlike the highway-infested Houston itself.

	'''Magnolia County - Conroe/Magnolia'''		'''Magnolia County - Conroe/Magnolia'''

	Trade your BMW or Lexus for a F250, cowboy boots, and illiteracy. The average speed limit on I-45 in this area is in the triple digits, even through the constant construction that makes downtown Houston look quiet. Conroe is also a haven for illegal immigrants and recently released inmates, as it's right between Houston and [[Prison\|Huntsville]]. The plus-sized trashiness is only matched by the plus-sized inhabitants, whose favorite pastimes include riding their rascals at Walmart and wiggling fishing poles at Academy. Magnolia, meanwhile, is too busy brewing moonshine and shooting colored folk to be bothered. In fact, [[you]] should go bother them, as [[Fact\|they totally won't shoot at you for trespassing]]. [[Autistic]] people are completely banned from entering Conroe and will immediately be shot dead by their pigs with badges on sight. What is this, [[Florida]]?		Trade your BMW or Lexus for a F250, cowboy boots, and illiteracy. The average speed limit on I-45 in this area is in the triple digits, even through the constant construction that makes downtown Houston look quiet. Conroe is also a haven for illegal immigrants and recently released inmates, as it's right between Houston and [[Prison\|Huntsville]]. Huntsville used to be known as the "death capital of the Americas" before [[Tampa]] succeeded it. The plus-sized trashiness is only matched by the plus-sized inhabitants, whose favorite pastimes include riding their rascals at Walmart and wiggling fishing poles at Academy. Magnolia, meanwhile, is too busy brewing moonshine and shooting colored folk to be bothered. In fact, [[you]] should go bother them, as [[Fact\|they totally won't shoot at you for trespassing]]. [[Autistic]] people are completely banned from entering Conroe and will immediately be shot dead by their pigs with badges on sight. What is this, [[Florida]]?

	'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and West of 288'''		'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and West of 288'''
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	In Houston itself- Memorial, Westchase, and Alief. A major snore-fest, nothing but boring white people and [[azns]] with their houses, and all their shitty fast food joints, supermarkets, consumer goods outlets, and Starbucks they need to thrive.		In Houston itself- Memorial, Westchase, and Alief. A major snore-fest, nothing but boring white people and [[azns]] with their houses, and all their shitty fast food joints, supermarkets, consumer goods outlets, and Starbucks they need to thrive.

	Fort Bend County- Sugar Land, Stafford, and Missouri City. [[George Carlin\|All you got is mile after mile of mall after mall...they put the mini-malls in between the major malls, and in between the mini-malls they put the mini-marts. And in between the mini-marts you got your car lots, gas stations, auto shops, strip clubs, and dirty bookstores]]. This area is nothing but [[America\|a soulless cesspool of consumerism]]. Sure, there was the Imperial Sugar mill, but a lot of that got [[banhammered]] several years ago. You can be everywhere and nowhere at the same time here.		Fort Bend County- Sugar Land, Stafford, and Missouri City. [[George Carlin\|All you got is mile after mile of mall after mall...they put the mini-malls in between the major malls, and in between the mini-malls they put the mini-marts. And in between the mini-marts you got your car lots, gas stations, auto shops, strip clubs, and dirty bookstores]]. This area is nothing but [[America\|a soulless cesspool of consumerism]]. Sure, there was the Imperial Sugar mill, but a lot of that got [[banhammered]] several years ago. You can be everywhere and nowhere at the same time here. Interestingly enough, Fort Bend County is a demoncrap farty stronghold due to it being one of the few parts of the area with a large [[chink]] and [[curry nigger]] population. Meanwhile, the Chinese, Arab and Indian migrants in the northern suburbs of [[Dallas\|Houston's arch nemesis]] vote repub.

	'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and East of 288'''		'''Outside Beltway 8- South of I-10 and East of 288'''
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	In Houston- Clear Lake and Ellington: [[Space]]! This is where the astronauts train for their roles in <s>space exploration</s> fake spaceflight movies filmed in the basement of JSC. Also an old Air Force Base that's mostly civilian stuff now, but one ANG unit is still active.		In Houston- Clear Lake and Ellington: [[Space]]! This is where the astronauts train for their roles in <s>space exploration</s> fake spaceflight movies filmed in the basement of JSC. Also an old Air Force Base that's mostly civilian stuff now, but one ANG unit is still active.

	In Harris County- Pasadena, Deer Park, La Porte, etc.: HERE BE DRAGONS. This is quite literally the armpit of the Houston area (it smells like one too.) Nothing but chemical plants and the ship channel. The sun shines about five times a year in this area from all the pollution. Nothing but poor white people and [[Mexicans]] live here.		In Harris County- Pasadena, Deer Park, La Porte, etc.: HERE BE DRAGONS. This is quite literally the armpit of the Houston area (it smells like one too.) Nothing but chemical plants and the ship channel. The sun shines about five times a year in this area from all the pollution. Nothing but poor white people and [[Mexicans]] live here. The types of people the creepy pervert David M. Fleisher wants to rape to death.

	==Sports==		==Sports==