Bald - Revision history

Supermarcyofthailand: /* Famous baldies */

2026-05-26T18:07:51Z

Famous baldies

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:07, 26 May 2026
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	== Famous baldies ==		== Famous baldies ==
			* [[Brenton Tarrant]]
	* [[Drumpf\|The God Emperor]]		* [[Drumpf\|The God Emperor]]
	* [[Picard\|Jean Luc Picard]]		* [[Picard\|Jean Luc Picard]]
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	* Ghandi		* Ghandi
	* [[Bad Vlad\|Vladimir Putin]]		* [[Bad Vlad\|Vladimir Putin]]
			* [[Homer Simpson]]
	* Vladimir Lenin		* Vladimir Lenin
	* Darwin		* Darwin

imported>Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd: Reverted edits by MarioMario456 (talk) to last revision by Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd

2023-06-28T20:20:40Z

Reverted edits by MarioMario456 (talk) to last revision by Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd

← Older revision	Revision as of 20:20, 28 June 2023
(No difference)

imported>Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd: Reverted edits by MarioMario456 (talk) to last revision by Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd

2023-06-28T20:20:40Z

Reverted edits by MarioMario456 (talk) to last revision by Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:20, 28 June 2023
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	== Famous baldies ==		== Famous baldies ==

	* [[~~The Donald~~\|The God Emperor]]		* [[Drumpf\|The God Emperor]]
	* [[Picard\|Jean Luc Picard]]		* [[Picard\|Jean Luc Picard]]
	* The Pope		* The Pope
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	* Darwin		* Darwin
	* [[Winston Churchill]]		* [[Winston Churchill]]
			*[[Kevin Mann]]

	== Related Articles ==		== Related Articles ==

imported>MarioMario456: Reverted edits by Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd (talk) to last revision by imported>ElSegCunt

2023-06-28T13:47:03Z

Reverted edits by Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd (talk) to last revision by [[User:imported>ElSegCunt|imported>ElSegCunt]]

← Older revision	Revision as of 13:47, 28 June 2023
(No difference)

imported>MarioMario456: Reverted edits by Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd (talk) to last revision by imported>ElSegCunt

2023-06-28T13:47:03Z

Reverted edits by Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd (talk) to last revision by [[User:imported>ElSegCunt|imported>ElSegCunt]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:47, 28 June 2023
Line 63:		Line 63:
	== Famous baldies ==		== Famous baldies ==

	* [[~~Drumpf~~\|The God Emperor]]		* [[The Donald\|The God Emperor]]
	* [[Picard\|Jean Luc Picard]]		* [[Picard\|Jean Luc Picard]]
	* The Pope		* The Pope
Line 71:		Line 71:
	* Darwin		* Darwin
	* [[Winston Churchill]]		* [[Winston Churchill]]
	*[[Kevin Mann]]

	== Related Articles ==		== Related Articles ==

imported>Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd: /* Famous baldies */

2021-01-24T09:55:49Z

Famous baldies

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:55, 24 January 2021
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	* Darwin		* Darwin
	* [[Winston Churchill]]		* [[Winston Churchill]]
			*[[Kevin Mann]]

	== Related Articles ==		== Related Articles ==

imported>Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd: /* Famous baldies */

2021-01-24T09:53:13Z

Famous baldies

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:53, 24 January 2021
Line 63:		Line 63:
	== Famous baldies ==		== Famous baldies ==

	* [[~~The Donald~~\|The God Emperor]]		* [[Drumpf\|The God Emperor]]
	* [[Picard\|Jean Luc Picard]]		* [[Picard\|Jean Luc Picard]]
	* The Pope		* The Pope
Line 71:		Line 71:
	* Darwin		* Darwin
	* [[Winston Churchill]]		* [[Winston Churchill]]


	== Related Articles ==		== Related Articles ==

imported>ElSegCunt at 17:17, 12 September 2018

2018-09-12T17:17:21Z

imported>Suleiko: /* What causes it */ typo fix

2018-09-04T21:30:23Z

What causes it: typo fix

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:30, 4 September 2018
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	==What causes it==		==What causes it==

	Despite being able to send a man to the moon, build buildings almost a kilometer high and invent over 500 new genders, ~~oru~~ civilisation still grapples with the baldness issue.		Despite being able to send a man to the moon, build buildings almost a kilometer high and invent over 500 new genders, our civilisation still grapples with the baldness issue.

	There are many theories as to why baldness occurs. Some say that it is simply the result side effect of a person's fail, others that it's due to genetics.		There are many theories as to why baldness occurs. Some say that it is simply the result side effect of a person's fail, others that it's due to genetics.

imported>Blajbara: expanded the stub, may need some crisp and minor pacing improvement. Also some more pics would be nice.

2018-08-22T22:11:55Z

expanded the stub, may need some crisp and minor pacing improvement. Also some more pics would be nice.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 [[File:Homer-simpson-thong.jpg|thumb|right|Mmmmm, bald vagina.]]
-'''Bald''' is a state of hairlessness that happens when a person's hair falls or is removed.
+Imagine the following scenario: [[You|you]] wake up one morning, waddle your fat ass over to the bathroom, take a good look at you disgustingly fugly excuse for a face, and start your morning routine to try and make yourself less of a blemish to human vision (only possible in this mental experiment ofc, irl you are a pig and will stay a pig). You wash the septic tank that is your mouth, clean your face of [[Over9000|9001]] pimples that have sprouted from the greasy sweat emanating from your skin, and finally decide to tackle that flea den on the top of your hair.
 == Related Articles ==
 *[[Cancer]]
 *[[Chris-chan|Chan, Chris-]]
 *[[moot]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:17, 12 September 2018
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	[[File:Homer-simpson-thong.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Mmmmm, bald vagina.]]		[[File:Homer-simpson-thong.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Mmmmm, bald vagina.]]

	Imagine the following scenario: [[You\|you]] wake up one morning, waddle your fat ass over to the bathroom, take a good look at you disgustingly fugly excuse for a face, and start your morning routine to try and make yourself less of a blemish to human vision (only possible in this mental experiment ~~ofc~~, irl you are a pig and will ~~stay~~ a pig). You wash the ~~septic tank~~ that is your mouth, clean your face of [[Over9000\|9001]] pimples that have sprouted from the greasy ~~sweat emanating~~ from your skin, and finally decide to tackle that flea den on the top of your ~~hair~~.		Imagine the following scenario: [[You\|you]] wake up one morning, waddle your fat ass over to the bathroom, take a good look at you disgustingly fugly excuse for a face, and start your morning routine to try and make yourself less of a blemish to human vision (only possible in this mental experiment of course, irl you are a pig and will forever remain a pig). You wash the cesspit that is your mouth, clean your face of [[Over9000\|9001]] pimples that have sprouted from the greasy secretions oozing from your skin, and finally decide to tackle that flea den on the top of your head.

	You pull and comb that abomination into something presentable when suddenly you realise that a whole lot of your hair is stuck to the comb, and there's a nice big bald spot on that ~~mellon~~ of yours, you start to scream as you ~~realise~~ - you are going bald!		You pull and comb that abomination into something presentable when suddenly you realise that a whole lot of your hair is stuck to the comb, and there's a nice big bald spot on that melon of yours, you start to scream as you realize - you are going bald!

	== What is Baldness==		== What is Baldness==

	'''Bald''' is a state of hairlessness that happens when a person's hair falls or is removed. It can manifest ~~it's~~ [[Fail\|fun]] in many different forms. Usually it starts from above your [[Religion\|temples]] and moves backwards, but can also start from that hairy twirling [[Nawlins\|hurricane]] on the top of your head and move outwards.		'''Bald''' is a state of hairlessness that happens when a person's hair falls or is removed. It can manifest its [[Fail\|fun]] in many different forms. Usually it starts from above your [[Religion\|temples]] and moves backwards, but can also start from that hairy twirling [[Nawlins\|hurricane]] on the top of your head and move outwards. Sometimes, both occur simultaneously.

	== Why is it bad==		== Why is it bad==

	Losing hair and going bald is ~~greatly~~ correlated with being a ~~looser~~ or worse. Though we as a species have long since stopped resembling [[Mexican\|hairy]] [[Arab\|troglodytic]] [[Nigger\|primates]], we still preserved patches of primal ~~keratine~~ on our bodies, and the most prominent one is is the one on our ~~heads~~.		Losing hair and going bald is often correlated with being a loser or worse. Though we as a species have long since stopped resembling [[Mexican\|hairy]] [[Arab\|troglodytic]] [[Nigger\|primates]], we still preserved patches of primal keratin on our bodies, and the most prominent one is the one on our scalps.

	Hair has almost universally held a great appeal as a sign of ~~beauty~~ and youth, so losing it must mean that something is very wrong with you.		Hair has almost universally held a great appeal as a sign of health and youth, so losing it must mean that something is very wrong with you.

	You could have cancer, rampaging hormones that are a prelude to cancer, or have such a ~~cancerous~~ personality that your hairs start committing suicide, rather than to stay on your head.		You could have cancer, rampaging hormones that are a prelude to cancer, or have such a malignant personality that your hairs start committing suicide rather than to stay on your head.

	==What causes it==		==What causes it==

	Despite being able to send a man to the moon, ~~build~~ buildings almost a kilometer high and ~~invent~~ over 500 new genders, our ~~civilisation~~ still grapples with the baldness issue.		Despite being able to send a man to the moon, erect buildings almost a kilometer high and contrive over 500 new genders, our species still grapples with the baldness issue.

	There are many theories as to why baldness occurs. Some say that it is simply the result side effect of a person's fail, others that it's due to genetics.		There are many theories as to why baldness occurs. Some say that it is simply the result side effect of a person's fail, others that it's due to genetics.

	The wide spreadedness of this ~~phenomena~~ has led some to believe that more sinister forces are at work. Several respected [[Alex Jones\|intellectuals]] have proposed that anything from vaccines filled with lead, our gay chemical addled drinking water to ~~satan~~ is to blame for this.		The wide spreadedness of this phenomenon has led some to believe that more sinister forces are at work. Several respected [[Alex Jones\|intellectuals]] have proposed that anything from vaccines filled with lead, to our gay chemical-addled drinking water to Satan is to blame for this.

	Whatever the case may be, one thing is clear: you will go bald eventually.		Whatever the case may be, one thing is clear: you will go bald eventually.

	==What can i do==		==What can I do?==

	There are many valid options ~~in order~~ to tackle this plague of un-hair and your loving ED is more than ~~wiling~~ to provide some solutions for [[You\|you]] to choose from:		There are many valid options available to tackle this plague of un-hair and your loving ED is more than willing to provide some solutions for [[You\|you]] to choose from:

	* Kill yourself - A tried and true method to any ~~ills~~, you can't be bald if you are dead!		* Kill yourself - A tried and true method to any ill, you can't be bald if you are dead!

	* Hide it under a ~~<s>dead critter</s>~~ toupe - Though you will be wearing other people's dead hair in place of your own, you will be able to choose any number of stylish replacements for your barren head.		* Hide it under a toupe - Though you will be wearing other people's dead hair in place of your own, you will be able to choose any number of stylish replacements for your barren head.
	** Bonus points as it is approved by our glorious [[~~The Donald~~\|god-emperor]]!		** Bonus points as it is approved by our glorious [[Drumpf\|god-emperor]]!

	* Hair Transplantation - Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, it is now possible to remove hairs from your ass or dick, and jab them into your scalp - science!		* Hair Transplantation - Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, it is now possible to remove hairs from your ass or dick, and jab them into your scalp - glorious science!

	* Hair ¨regenerators¨ - These noxious chemicals can be applied to your head in an effort to at least halt the dying of your sad little follicles. It never works, but is a nice tax for balding.		* Hair ¨regenerators¨ - These noxious chemicals can be applied to your head in an effort to at least halt the dying of your sad little follicles. It never works, but is a nice tax for balding and can cause lulzy birth defects if pregnant women are exposed to it.

	* Procure a healthy scalp and wear it as your own - Hey, when your hair is on the line (lol) nothing is forbidden, just do as the [[Injuns\|injuns]] did and scalp some motherfucker~~, just~~ make sure that he is not balding too.		* Procure a healthy scalp and wear it as your own - Hey, when your hair is on the line (lol) nothing is forbidden, just do as the [[Injuns\|injuns]] did and scalp some motherfucker. Just make sure that he is not balding too.

	* Drink a lot - Hey, if it can put heir on your chest, maybe it will grow on your head too.		* Drink a lot - Hey, if it can put heir on your chest, maybe it will grow on your head too.
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	* Become a skinhead, a neo-nazi or a buddhist monk - If you are insecure enough about baldness, maybe you'll make the cut for these pussies as well.		* Become a skinhead, a neo-nazi or a buddhist monk - If you are insecure enough about baldness, maybe you'll make the cut for these pussies as well.

	* Accept it - Stop being a ~~fucking~~ pussybitch who thinks that a bunch of ~~keratine~~ on your head means shit and man up.		* '''Accept it - Stop being a cunting pussybitch who thinks that a bunch of keratin on your head means shit to anyone and man the fuck up.'''

	== Did you know... ==		== Did you know... ==

	* That 7/10 men will ~~get really bald~~ before reaching their fifties?		* That 7/10 men will start balding before reaching their fifties?

	* That a bald head is a good substitute for an Earth globe (some drawing required).		* That a bald head is a good substitute for an Earth globe (some drawing required)?

	* That a bald head makes a great mega-penis with which to satisfy the ladies.		* That a bald head makes a great mega-penis with which to satisfy the ladies?

	* That being bald makes you eligible for ~~starfleet~~ command.		* That being bald makes you eligible for Starfleet command?

	* That clapping a baldie on the head brings good luck (make sure to clap every baldie you ever meet and see how lucky you'll get!).		* That clapping a baldie on the head brings good luck (make sure to clap every baldie you ever meet and see how lucky you'll get!)?


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	* Vladimir Lenin		* Vladimir Lenin
	* Darwin		* Darwin
	* [[~~Winston Churchill\|~~Winston Churchill]]		* [[Winston Churchill]]