View source for Zezima

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[[Image:Zezima IRL.png|thumb|right|Zezima [[IRL]].]]
[[Image:Zezima_eBay_Scam.jpg|thumb|right|Zezima's [[eBay]] scams are always lulz. Someone was willing to pay $15,000.]]
[[Image:Arcanistzezima.png|thumb|right|Zezima enjoys playing Arcanists, a crappy ripoff game by [[Jagex|Fagex]], at 4:30 am.]]

Zezima is a [[faggot]] [[RuneScape]] player [[An Hero|hero-worshiped]] by [[13 year old]] players the world over for being a fat unfunny guy with a beard on the internet, essentially RuneScape's equivalent of [[Minecraft|Minecraft's]] Notch.  He has been hailed as the greatest and most respected players ever to grace the world of RuneScape since he joined in 2001, due to the fact that for so many years he sat at the top of the XP [[No Life|hiscores]] after spending his days ''grinding'' to increase the size of his [[E-penis|e-peen]] and [[Lie|impress girls on the internet]].

[[IRL|In reality]], Zezima is a fatass basement dweller who plays RuneScape for 24 hours, occasionally setting foot outside in order to secure more RuneScape membership cards and hot pockets, or to be driven to gayass [[Furry|conventions]] in order to play Yu-Gi-Oh cards with other sad losers (If he can convince his mother to drive him).

He also recently got a job, which lead to the deaths of [[over 9000]] [[emo]] faggots taking their lives, and now, the leading cockmaster of Runescape is "S U  O  M I," an infamous [[Faggot]] whose dad won the lottery and instead of going to college with it, decided to spend it all on Runescape membership. He claims to [[Lie|work out and eat healthy]] even though he spends 20 hours on the game every day.

Zezima is also followed by many n00bs who are desperate for some cock since they can't even get close to any pussy except for the girls on RuneScape who are actually guys. He enjoys lulz so much that the bastard enjoys just standing their causing millions of noobs to go on [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yapY81dhoAE|roid rages] while wanking off to Zezima. He just stands their there ignoring every pre-teened faggot in his presence. Alot of [[Homosexual|RuneScapers]] ponder upon his age, also.
 

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{{quote|[[Dream|I love Rachel]] 

I have stopped playing [[RuneScape]] competitively because it's getting progressively [[Owned|easier over time]]. With it getting easier to train skills and gain exp, I've lost a sense of accomplishment in what [[No life|I've worked hard to achieve]] [[Oldfag|since I started in 2001]]. If things will continue to get easier, it ruins the game for those of us [[Nerd|who have been here since the beginning]].|—Zezimas [http://www.youtube.com/user/zezima0213 Youtube Channel]}}

''The above quote highlights the extent of Zezima's delusion and alienation from society. So absorbed by the web of lies he created for himself, he actually believes to have begun dating a girl he met on the internet whom he refers to as 'Rachel'. [[Fag|Poor sod]].''


==Anchient history==

Zezima is now ancient history and if you remember him then you are probably too old to be playing RuneScape.

==The Truth about Zezima of RuneScape==

There are 5 theories on Zezima:

The very unexciting truth about Zezima is that he is a regular [[basement dweller]] fatass Runescape player just like [[you]] and that other idiot in the corner; though it is obvious that he has a much higher focus and commitment than the majority of players to the art of wasting his life.

However, Zezima could actually be [[300]] Chinese sweatshop drones, keeping the account online to stop anyone from h4x0ring it. This is why he isn't number 1 anymore as Jagex has (finally) introduced OTT anti-<i>RealWorldTrading</i> systems. Obviously, that means they can't get their regular source of selling RuneScape gold like [http://www.rs2baby.com/runescape-money here].

It also could be that Zezima is actually a piss artist account set up by [[Jagex]] to [[piss]] off no-lifers and make them frantically level for up to 8 hours a day to try and keep up with him, while paying $5 a month. This causes much [[lulz]] at Jagex as they store the combined nerd concentration energy in a big jar, where they sell it to [[occult]] groups such as the Illuminati, Free-Masons and Prince Charles.

Or it could be that he is , the creator of the shit-fest known as [[Runescape]] who plays to make all the other players look bad and auto's using a $200 autoer he bought using the money he got out of being a man whore.

It's also been said that he has hardcore [[goatse]] [[buttsecks]] with his best friend [[Gangsta Lion]] A.K.A Gangsta [[Nigger]].
 
{{quote|Zezima and I were in the toilet doing the [[List of sex moves|Verheij style]] when he ripped my anus open yelling "[[goatse]]!" Whole the time. It made my little penis grow 2 inches and turned me on|—Gangsta Lion}}

==Life as a Nerd God==

Being the <s>highest ranked</s> (not any-more bitch) cocksucking fatass in [[RuneScape]] isn’t without its draw backs. He has hundreds of people constantly following him around, begging to suck his [[cock]]. You can imagine seeing him [[IRL]]. All of a sudden the world around him springs into action and everyone around him is begging for him to sign their Hoobastank CDs because Hoobastank is to Runescapers what Barry White is to sex music.

Well, the obvious reason behind this is his success in the cocksucking business itself. He is an idol for thousands of fat men with no lives across the world who live in [[RuneScape]]. He is the [[Michael Jackson]] of RuneScape you could say. His interest in the game briefly declined when he discovered [[wikiFur]] and learned that Jesus makes better [[Doom]] maps than he does. If you are lucky enough to see him in-game, he will quickly be bombarded with people saying "Zezima, Zezima, [[ALL CAPS|BONG HITS 4 JESUS!!! SIGN MY PENIS!]]" He also started playing Gangsta Bean [[at least 100 years ago]] which makes him one of the most highly Goatsefied players. Zezima isn't in the closet about his tremendous amount of fail and [[AIDS]] that he has foisted on the [[RuneScape]] community. He encourages all levels of people to keep sucking and setting goals to reach. I think his overall attitude towards the epic quote "[[Guitar Hero|WHAMMY!!!]]" and his inhuman ability to kill [[Sandnigger|sand niggers]] is an important role in him staying infamous.

At the end of [[2006]] Zezima was in fact NOT number one for a few weeks due to the fact that he was busy sucking his college professors cocks to pass. This caused the entire RS population to going batshit insane and fucking tear up the place, however he returned to number one upon [[No life|achieving 99 hunter]]. Then a bit over a year later the new and exciting skill summoning was release, and Zezima hasn't been number one ever since <b>FOR nearly A YEAR</b> yet no one seems to be giving a shit. Funny how things change over time, huh? Though, people end up always sucking his cock when ever he logs in.

==Marriage life==

Zezima and some random noob gf got married at their virtual house with shitload of [[Faggot|guest]] note the fact that the preachers name is "Big knockers" and various failmods have shown up to mute people as well. While this is dramatically [[Boring|lovely]], the bitch and zezima got divorced, involving fuckloads of e-drama with another [[Faggot|kool kid]] named 5pirit. Truly a deeply sad e-drama story for all zezima's [[Fanboi|fanbois]]. He's now remarried with [[Goatse|Gangsta Lion]].

<youtube>KAER7GEOLcs</youtube>

==Videos==

<youtube>VtlVa7sXxgE</youtube>

BEHOLD! An interview with the master! Notice his epic faggotry in life, such as not being married tsk tsk... and... he only talks to people with a shitload of "gp", whatever that is.

<youtube>3N3lynRVxbU</youtube>

This is what happens when zezima lets his fans talk to him.
 
{{quote|Everything on the rs screen has frozen, but the text continues to move... That's ftw irl.|—Zezima}}

==See Also==

*[[RuneScape]]
*[[Shawn Woolley]]
*[[Gangsta Lion]]

==External Links==

*[http://youtube.com/user/Zezima0213 Zezima's YouTube channel.]
*[http://darkrunescape.wikia.com/wiki/Zezima Zezima on the RS wiki.]
*[http://youtube.com/user/therastalion Gangsta Lion's den of gay furry porn.]

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[[Category:Gaming]]
[[Category:People]]