View source for TMZ

'''TMZ''', or ''National Enquirer 2.0'', is a gossip site and TV show for [[16-year-old girls]] created by [[NWO|old white men]].  [[Some argue]] the letters TMZ stand for thirty-mile zone, referring to the "studio zone" within a thirty-mile radius of [[shit nobody cares about|an intersection in Los Angeles]]. Shooting locations outside this zone are subject to mileage and travel time charges by the talent and crew, so the Jews at [[AOL]] keep the show tethered to save [[jewgolds|money]].  Others say it stands for The [[Milhouse]] Zone, referring to the intense levels of fail that surround it.  Oh, and they pay for stories.  That's some fine journalism, Lou.
[[Image:TMZ_Logo.PNG|right|TMZ]]
[[Image:New_hot_tips.gif|200px|right|Rat, er, call us!]]
==[[Jew|Harvey Levin]]==
{{quote|I'm a lawyer|Jew|stating the obvious.|color=silver|size=360%}}<center><youtube>uH46oIA6I2c</youtube></center>
The 'brains' behind TMZ, he pretends to be an openly [[gay]] man, but is in reality a straight man reverse-[[beard]]ing to cover the [[epic]] amounts of douchebaggery and [[fail]] that is professional gossip.  In a bid to get famous, he nearly got [[OJ]] freed before the [[retard]]ed jury did.  He aired a video on the CBS west coast feed that alleged impropriety by prosecutor Marcia Clark, which was [[lie|patently untrue]].  [[Gg]].

==[[First Post]]==
As real journalism has disappeared into the sludge of advertising and politics that we call '[[old media|mainstream media]]', the First Post phenomenon has replaced [[cool story, bro|in-depth reporting]] that gets to the root of the story.  Instead, whoever tags their name to the story first gets [[nothing|something]], and TMZ is no different.  Celebrate their brilliant work with us here.

*[[Mel Gibson]] - [http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/28/exclusive-mel-gibson-busted-for-dui/ WE]
*[[Rihanna]] - [http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/22/rihanna-photo-face-beating/ POSTED]
*[[Michael Jackson]] - [http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-dies-death-dead-cardiac-arrest/ IT]
*[[Brittany Murphy]] - [http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/20/brittany-murphy-dies-cardiac-arrest/ FIRST!]

==Zombarazzi==
It's only a matter of time until the guy chasing you with the camera gets [[pwnt|smacked in the face]].  Or maybe they just need to [[basement dweller|get some more sunlight]].
{{quote|I wrapped a movie called Zombieland, in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character ... With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie.|[[Drugs#Cannabis|Woody Harrelson]]|explaining why he punched some douchebag}}

XD

==[[JFK|JFaKe]]==
In a moment of epic [[lulz]], TMZ fell victim to a [[troll|brilliant play]].  On December 29, 2009 the TMZ staff posted '''[http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/28/president-john-f-kennedy-photograph-jfk-photo-boat-yatch-nude-naked-women-mediterranean-sea-jackie-kennedy-ted-kennedy-senator-george-smathers-election/ The JFK Photo That Could Have Changed History]''', containing what appeared to be images of Kennedy just before the election, sunning with nude swimmers on a [[ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOAT|boat]].  Their [[expert]]s claimed that [[This Looks Shopped|this didn't look shooped]], but they were [[fail|wrong]].
 <div style="height:300px; overflow:scroll; border: 1px solid black; padding: 3px; background: white; vertical-align: top; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; margin-bottom: 3px;">[[image:Jfktmz.jpg]]</div>



==Trolling==
TMZ Live is live video chat that occurs with the TMZ staff every weekday.  Registered users able to ask questions, so use your imagination.  

==External Links==
[http://www.tmz.com TMZ.com]
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