View source for Slipknot

{{Spoilers|Slipknot is officially the biggest sellout band [[evar]]! They made a nightmare infested pile of shit trailer for their concert advertising rockstar energy drink, with the clown fag smashing rockstars with a baseball bat like a fucktard and pouring them all over his mask}}  
{{quote|<big>its ''an'' metal band not rock</big>|An Slipknot fan, who should be [[an hero]] as well}}
[[Image:Slipknot-SicIcon.gif|frame|right|Typical behaviour]]
[[File:Funny,justin,bieber,slipknot-cae7e279b9a1a5e8c7d1a4244aa073ba m.jpg|thumb|Affiliated]]
[[File:Jj.jpg|thumb|Joey Jordison, king of [[faggot]] [[twinks]], and lacker of eyebrows. Seriously, where are his eyebrows?]]
[[File:Slipknotnosejerk.gif|thumb|At all concerts, you'll see half of the band members doing fuck all, and jerking off in front of thousands. Never change, boys.]]
[[Image:Stupid faggot.jpg|thumb|Slipknot's lead singer, Corey Taylor (Note the [[Hot Topic|"Nightmare Before Christmas" cap hand-knitted by members of Slipknot]])]]
[[Image:SLIPKNOTRULESGUY1.jpg|thumb|Facebook slipknot fanboy is offended.]]
[[Image:Slipknotfan.jpg|thumb|Typical Slipknot fan! (Timmy from [[unfunny|Whitest Kids U Know?]])]]
[[Image:Slippyknot.jpg|thumb|Not even [[God]] likes those flithy [[faggot|maggots]]!!! Curse them!!!!1!!11!]]
[[Image:Slipknot_message_to_fans.jpg|thumb|Because your band is only as hardcore as its fanbase.]]
[[Image:Slipknotcomments.jpg|thumb]]
[[Image:Th gickrcom 0d152e1c-6c2f-4f64-6d9e-6c.gif|thumb|We have cool masks which means our music is [[Shit|TOTALLY AWESOME]]]]
'''Slipknot''' - (aka '''Slipcock, Slipcunt, Shitknot, Spitsnot, Skiplot, Slopkunt, I'd-Rather-Have-A-Blood-Clot, <s>Slapknut</s> Slaptit, SlapKock, SquidCock.''') is a  '[[False|metal-metal]]' band that is usually listened to by 12 year old boys who want to be "SO COOL AND HARDCORE-DESU!!" . Originating in a [[Nazi mysticism|mystical]] land known as "Desu Moines [[Iowa]]", [https://web.archive.org/web/20051212151553/http://www.knitting-and-crochet-guild.org.uk/slipknot/index.html Slipknot] is a [[nerd rage|raging]] [[Nu metal|mallcore]] band who are favorites of [[16 year old girls]], [[poseur]] [[goths]], [[indiefucks]], [[7-11]] cashiers in their early to mid-20's, and other [[Hot Topic]] [[drama whore]]s. Consisting of 237 members (236 members as of 24 May 2010(Rest in Shit)) whose majority were unsuspecting victims randomly abducted off the street, Slipknot is fronted by singer Corey Toad Taylor, drummer Joey "[[Midget]]" Jordison (now dead thanks to [[Pwned|God crippling him from beyond]]), and token [[fat|fatass crow-fucker]] Shawn "[[Insane Clown Posse|Clown]]" Crahan. Their lyrics are typical angst-ridden shit, covering subjects such as RAAAAGGGGGEEE, getting revenge on something [[last thursday|long ago]], bitching and also swearing - lots of swearing. (steer clear, Christian mothers!) Don't forget about the whole, [[Lie|"We're not in it for the money, so go to Hot-Topic and buy a SlipKnoT bar stool, shot glass, hat, hoodie and T-Shirt, cause we're so not in it for the money!!!elevenone!!"]]. The crow-fucker Shawn Crahan also puts out the band's signature [[Shit no one cares about|Slipknot No. 9 Iowa Whiskey]], which is apparently pretty good, but whiskey is usually ass, so don't trust them.

All of the band members wear distinct masks and boilersuits (as part of their collective [[fetish]].) A common unfounded rumor is that they wear masks to hide the [[semen]] and [[Santorum]] stains on their faces.  While this could very well be true, it's most likely because they're all so br00t4l.
As for the jumpsuits, Slipknot members have never gotten rid of this popular nerdy 70's trend. Or perhaps [[Facts| they still have a fetish for janitors from back at high school. Most likely, that.]]

When not bitching, whining, and cursing in interviews about how "fucking brutal" they are , the band members can be found engaging in [[homosexual]] acts such as masturbating each other, whiffing dead animal mush like it's [[Cocaine| dat gud shit]], and vomiting on each other while masturbating each other.

Some [[niggers|fans]] claim the band [[the man|sold out]] with their latest release "Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses" (their fourth album). This, however, is false: the band became a bunch of sellouts the moment they made the band, because every single kid in the town went to the mall to buy that "br00tal music" lol. In truth, everyone knows that Corey Taylor listens to 'br00t4lz DEAthc0re muzak???'

Fans of Slipknot are called "[[faggots|maggots]]" (more liek [[faggots]] amirite??) because most of them are extremely fat, bad-smelling, slimy and [[white people|pale-skinned]], due to the fact that they never go outside.

Still, they are a <s>million times better than</s> Just as bad as [[ICP]].

===The Members of Slipknot===
There are [[over 9000]] members of Shitknot, though they are labeled #0-#8 (proving the band cannot even count up its own number of members), in hopes of making them seem less like [[homosexuals|Giant Flaming Retards]].

[[Srsly]], the band has so much members, [[Truth|they actually need a separate article for a list of their members on Wikipedia]]. That lineup changes [[Facts|more than you change your underwear, you putrid cunt.]]

* [[Ondore|Marquis Halim Ondore III]]
* Jesse "[[Double Nigger]]" Jackson
* <s>[[Black Metal|Varg Vikernes]]</s>  LOLDEAD
* Captain Planet
* [[Zach Braff]]
* [[Jawsus]]
* [[Josef Fritzl]]
* [[SerialKillaC]]
* [[Jackass|Steve-O]]
* [[Reymon14]]
* [[Tool|Maynard James Keenan]]
* Chad Gray
* [[Hollywood Undead|Charlie Scene]]
* [[Fallout Boy]]

This list quickly reveals why the members of Shitknot wear masks: they are so embarrassed by their real [[fursona|identities]] that they must (unsuccessfully) hide their features, for fear of losing all their [[cunts|Fans]]. Most of the members say it's to show '[[Shit no one cares about|their true, radical, primal personalities!!1!!!111!]]', but we all know that's [[FALSE]], and that it's because Shawn, Mick, Jim and Chris are ashamed of their [[beards]]. <s>Jim's beard is alright though.</s>

===Things that are preferable to listening to Slipknot===
* Having your eyes ripped out and balls sliced off and having them switched
* Having a retarded monkey give you a lobotomy
* Gouging your own eyes out 
* Choking on a razor blade
* Having your nipples cut off
* Being [[castration|castrated]]
* Slitting your throat down to your stomach
* Slowly being mutilated by a dull knife, while enjoying the fresh scent of [[Zyklon B]]
* [[Herpes]]
* In some severe cases <s>listening to [[My Chemical Romance]]</s> sorry, [[GONORRHEA]]
* [[1man1jar|A glass jar breaking in your ass]]
* Being [[Rubber Johnny]]
* Eating your own foot
* Experiencing uncontrollable vomiting and diarrhea
* Having violent, arm-flailing seizures every time you see someone in a blue shirt
* Listening to minorities engage in asinine, IQ burning conversation on public transit
* Listening to someone talk on the phone during a movie.
* Eating dinner while perusing the [[Pain series]]
* <s>Taking up [[Scientology]]</s> No, Nothing is worse than that.
* Being hit in the face with projectile diarrhea
* Debugging
* Being [[Chris-chan]] 
* Being [[DrMusic2]]
* Fucking a [[AIDS|syphilitic]] [[Your Mom|whore]]
* Anus burning diarrhea
* This list is TL;DR, anything is better than listening to Shitcock.

== We're not in it for the money ==
On Iowa Slipknot released an angsty br00tal pseudo-Satanic song for the little kids who want to piss off their parents called 'The Heretic Anthem'
"If you're 555 then I'm 666"
Which is considered to be the ultimate FUCK YOU to the record company who asked them to make a radio friendly album.
Ironically,immediately succeeding that album were two extremely radio friendly garbage pop albums which accomodate to the record company. LMAO!. 
{|style="margin: auto;"
|<center><youtube>HWxAokee6X8</youtube></center>
<center>Proof that Slipknot is [[not gay|NOT]] in it for the money. '''Protip:''' Mute your volume if you want to retain your sense of hearing.</center>
|}

[[Image:08821fa8-1175-4926-ada1-1a0a230fb3aa.jpg|thumb]]

== Typical Shitknot lyrics ==
[[Image:Slipknot StripClub.jpg||frame|center|'''Most of the lyrics are about how Corey Taylor always wanted to see a [[vagina]]''']]

'''[[Unfunny|Slipknot - Duality (parody)]]''' 


I push my fingers into [[Your mom|my ass]]. 
It's the only thing, that slowly stops the itch. 
And it's made of all, the things I have to shit. 
If I lube it up, I'll push it back inside. 
If the pain goes on, I'm gonna shit myself! 


I have creamed until my balls collapsed 
I've wanked until my wrist had snapped 
Now all I do is play with my butt plug 
I've fapped to Chris, I've been bitch slapped 
I left behind this little fact 
I cannot piss while I'm standing up 
I've gotta scream when I hit the scene 
Or my fans will all go away 
But I can't promise you'll enjoy our noise 
I guess I'll shave my balls with glass 
My drummer seems to like my ass 
You're left with me cause no one else eats dick 


I push my fingers into my ass! 
It's the only thing, that slowly stops the itch. 
And it's made of all, the things I have to shit. 
If I lube it up, I'll push it back inside. 
If the pain goes on, I'm gonna shit myself! 


Mick and I still wank together 
and seperate our foreskin from our cock 
Leave me with all your feces 
Then I can improve my odour 
Tell me that I was better than that 
Anders son-of-a-bitch 
But I found out the hard way.... 
BUTT SEX AIN'T WHAT IT SEEMS! 

I push my fingers into MY ASSSSSS! 
It's the only thing, that slowly stops the itch. 
And it's made of all, the things I have to shit. 
If I lube it up, I'll push it back inside. 
If the pain goes on, I'm gonna shit myself! 

ALL I GOT, ALL I GOT IS INCEST
ALL I GOT, ALL I GOT IS INCEST
ALL I GOT, ALL I GOT IS INCEST
ALL I GOT...

== Slipknot fans on the innuhnets ==

The Slipcock fans are mostly frustrated rappers, [[16-year-old girl|16-year-old girls]], emos who think DJs are metal, gay men, faggot nerds who think listening to them will make them cooler, and anime lovers (A.K.A. otakus) who think that mega-distorted guitars equal talent and that Joey Jordisson is da best drumma evar. Here's a typical chat session with a [[fucktard]] fag- I mean maggot:

Chat session in a metalheads room (notice how every real <s>metalhead</s> faggot shit on <s>slipknot</s> Slaptit)

<div style="color: black; background-color: white; width: 500px; border: thin black solid; padding: .5em;">
:'''[[Obvious troll|Slipknotfan666maggotforeva]]''':yo, everyone, what do you think about slipknot?
:'''Helhammer213''': Bunch of fucktards who think they're brutal and metal....pfft, losers.
:'''Samael666''':lol slipcock? man they FUCKING SUCK DICK!!
:'''necrosisxcannibal''': u mean slipkpop rite? they suck... oh man, what kind of retard can actually think they're metal? shit, Corey Taylor voice is laughable.
:'''Georgenecklessfisher15''': not again, that crappy band... go listen to atreyu and all of those gaycore crap you love, faggot.
:'''Slipknotfan666maggotforeva''': shut the fuck up slipknot is da best band eva heavies band and corey tayla is da best singa in da world, fuck you very much and fo fuck ya fatha, ya matha and ya dog, nigga, everyone is a fucking cock sucker filled with shit, shitheads fuck you and i will fucking rape you everyone the shit out of you, mothafuckas
:'''Helhammer213'''''':whatever...
:'''Slipknotfan666maggotforeva''' left the room.
</div>


===Another Shitknot fan===
[[File:Slipknotboobs.jpg|thumb|[[Lie|Maybe Slipknot fans aren't that bad afterall]]]]
Some random chatroom, a guy named "xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx" entered the room.


<div style="color: black; background-color: white; width: 500px; border: thin black solid; padding: .5em;">
:'''xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx''':hi
:'''LoGiNeT''': hey cock sucker
:'''xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx''':fuck off nigga
:'''Goregrinderguy''': hey, you actually like that shitty weeaboo band?
:'''xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx''': you ignorant fool, slipknot are so metal, know ya shit, nigga, they fucking heavy as hell
:'''Goregrinderguy''': uh.... right.... but, ever heard of something called METAL?
:'''LoGiNeT''': hahahahahahahahahaha good one
:'''Burzum_noble_philosopher''': you got owned faggot
:'''xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx''': slipknot is da most meta band eva!
:'''Goregrinderguy''': yeah, just like 50 cent and maroon 5
:'''xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx''': death metal sucks, just senseless noise, black metal sucks too, just.. noise! slipknot sings bout rel things, your metal is just noise xD xD xD 
:'''Goregrinderguy''': well, yeah, real teenager angst ridden things i guess. Seriously, go fucking wait and bleed 
:'''xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx''': you all suck xD slipnot rulz fuckers xD they own ya soul xD fucking fuckers go fuck your mom and dad
:'''LordGore&Hammerfall''': oh, i think i need a hug, that was so mean and tough....
:'''TheUltimatedudE231222''': lmfao
:'''xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx''' left the room. 
</div>
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===Maggots Doing Their Thing===
{{Bigpic|telgofon.jpg|643|200|maggots to the rescue at the slightest provocation|center}}
(Notice how the Shitknot fans are [[wigger|wiggers]].)
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==Burger King trolls Slipknot==
[[Last Thursday]], Burger King decided to make fun of Slipknot's shitty music and image by making [[parody|their own version of a shitty Slipknot song]]. Clearly pwned and butthurt, Slipknot tried to prove to their fans that they don't need welfare checks to pay for their food, and decided to sue Burger King. Burger King lulzed at them and then pwned them again in court. 
The song consists of [[furries|guys in chicken costumes]] singing about eating [[shit|chicken fries]]. The whole song probably took all of a couple minutes to throw together, and it still managed to be [[over 9000|9,001]] times better than anything Slipknot ever shat out of their recording studios, srsly.
{|style="margin: auto;"
|<center><youtube>LqSyDNP3gek</youtube></center>
|}

==Reactions of nu metal freaks, otakus, metal maggots and n00bs==
[[Image:Look-out-buffalo-bill-slipknot-demotivational-poster-1271305712.jpg|thumb|Corey Taylor's everyday shit]]
"you're so close minded yo, slipknot ARE METAL asshole, take your brutal stuff and shove it, slipknot rulz biatch, they're da heaviest band eva, you bash them for the dj? hello! its the new millennium, djs and rap are a must have metal, you cant even play any kind of instrument, you suck and slipknot owns ya soul, nigga, they're so metal that they can be mixed with animes such as full metal alchemist, Naruto, and inuyasha"

"only [[Gay|straight]] people like slipknot you dick head. besides, your probably just a fat ass who doesnt move his god damn butt off the couch... or off your dad. and slipknot isnt even death metal genius! [[Grammar|there]] proven to be the number one METAL band in the world dumb ass! and your complaining slipknots too "cocky" or whatever your being a pussy about, Corey Taylor is in another band you douche bag! stone sour BITCH! Again, [[Faggots|MAGGOTS]] VS [[Faggots|FAGGOTS]]!"

this is a reaction of a well known emo/otaku [[YouTube]] user, Daniuzumaki metalheads sometimes say "hey, i think seiya is the best" an otaku says "you crazy?! andromeda is da best" "okay okay, youre the otaku, you know what youre talking about, thats ok" but otakus and slipknot fans, unfortunately arent the same case. "slipknot are so goddamn metal" "metal cannot have rap djs or such stupid guitar riffs" "shut up mothafucka, you dont kno anything bout metal, yo, slipknot is da shit, same with mudvayne and korn." For pop culture, slipknot sounds heavy, and real metal sounds just like rhytmless noise, and of course, they're scared and they desperately need [[buttsecks]]. Nuff said. 


<b>Below is a series of YouTube comments from a Slipknot fan who was trolled. Apparently he knows everything about metal, but doesn't know the difference between a comma and a period. (Note: This is the same YouTube user (TrashMetal25) who has been posted above in one of the images)</b>

"you seriously dont know two shits about metal,
or music in general,
just stop trying,
your fucking pathetic,
you have no ear for music whatsoever,
probably goes hand in hand with how stupid you are,

if you cant find something its probably cuz your too stupid,
its a shit small genre,

they didnt scheme shit,
you dont know anything about slipknot,
you probably never even listened to them,

how is slipknot not metal,
and i delete comments cuz its totally pointless,
your not right,
im the one that doesnt know metal?
well you saying slipknot isnt metal baisically means you know a billion times less about it then i do,
stupid shit
	
trash metal is actually a subgenre to thrash,
there is only one band that is all TRASH metal,
a band called The Haunted,
some metal bands. including slipknot,
have songs that are trash metal,
its like a thrashy heavy metal,
there you go,

you dont find anything about trash metal because then it always gets mixed up and it says
did you mean THRASH metal?
so it takes a shitload of effort just to find what your looking for,
TrashMetal25

fucking gay ass fuck,
it is lol,
but you obiously dont know enough about music to know that,"<br>
<br>
<br>
<center>
<b>"Oh, shit, he said Fuck, he must mean serious business, guys."</b>
{{frame|{{fv|slipknotvids|background-color: red;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>eaXPcc4e4NI</youtube>|<youtube>_-qLaseJ_2s</youtube>|<youtube>nvHiqqOqu8U</youtube>|<youtube>chiVMrWMHko</youtube>|<youtube>ze0YtHEasFw</youtube>|<youtube>tC9ZbzHdJDQ</youtube>}}|border=black|background=red}}</center>



Hey he looks a bit like the AHK ^^^

==The Selling out of Slipknot==
Now more popular then ever, Slipknot has decided that instead of sustaining their legacy, to instead sell the fuck out! How you may ask? Here are a couple actual products you can now buy with the Slipknot name attached.

*A Coffee Mug - Totally metal dude
*A Hockey Puck
*Coffee
*[[Funko Pops]]
*Pillows
*Face Masks

Did I mention they're not in it for the money.

==The Death of Paul Gray==
[[Image:Dfew.jpg|thumb|Paul Gay,a drug addict, arrested for possession of cocaine(seriously!).]]
Sometime [[Last_Thursday|last Thursday]], the [[fail|bassist]] '''Paul Dedwick Gray (Moar like Paul DEADwick Gay [[amirite]]?)''' was found dead in a hotel room, in Urbandale, Iowa.  

The exact cause of death, initially suspected to be [[Mr_Hands|death by horse dick,]] turned out to be a [[typical|overdose]] of [[opioids|morphine and fentanyl]], combined with [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|"significant" heart disease]]. How unimaginative. The [[nothing of value was lost|timely death]] of Paul Gay means that butthurt [[faggots|maggots]] will [[rage|lash out]] at any troll who veers his [[trollface|coolface/trollface]] in their direction(So catch them while they're still griefing).

One down, eight more to go.
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[[File:Slipknottroll.jpg|right]]
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==See also==
*[[Nu metal]] - The genre this crappy band belongs to
*[[Linkin Park]] - The pop version of Slipknot
*[[Tool]] - The prog version of Slipknot
*[[Wigger]]

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