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[[Image:Ghei.jpg|thumb|Cementing diplomatic relations.]]
[[Image:kefka.JPG|thumb|Secretary Rumsfeld makes a surprise visit to [[Iraq|Baghdad]] in 2005.]]

Donald "Rummy" Rumsfeld was the Secretary of Defense of the [[United States]] under the [[George W. Bush|Bush]] administration, where he did a bang-up crackerjack job.

Rather than being born from a human womb, Rumsfeld was created during the Carter administration by the Pentagon's Office of Special Plans. The project entailed making a perfect physical clone of Franklin Roosevelt, except with legs and the ability to properly conduct a war. The goal was to eventually create a race of charming humans who could walk around on their hind legs like Rory Calhoun but who would not be able to harm their fellow man. As such, POSP took a long time to think of a name for the newly created meat-puppet that would not be too threatening, while sounding completely retarded: Donald. Although the project was a success, it was discontinued by the [[Reagan]] administration, which instead focused on the practical applications of [[Wicca|astrology]].

His sidekick Bucky was killed by the [[Hitler|Red Skull]], and has since been replaced by [[JEWS DID WTC|Paul Wolfowitz]].

Rumsfeld has an annoying habit of asking and answering his own questions during press conferences, etc., in the following fashion:

{{Quote|Are there still Taliban around? You bet. Are they occupying safe havens in Afghanistan and other places? Certainly they are. Is the violence up? Yes. Does the violence tend to be up during the spring, summer and fall months? Yes it does. Does that represent failed policy? I don’t know. I would say not.|Donny}}

==<strike>Breaking</strike> Broken News==

[[Image:donotwant_rumsfeld.JPG|thumb|DO NOT WANT]]

[[Image:Rummy_cast.jpeg|thumb|"Have I been [[pwn]]t in the arse by my own [[W|boss]] [[me|Mr. Cast]]? You betcha, Mr. Rummy.]]

[[Image:Poleblow.png|thumb|HOW DO I KEPT JOB]]

On November 8th, 2006, Rumsfeld [[pwned|"stepped down"]] from the position of '[[Rapist|Lord of War]]' after his [[dog|loyal]] [[bureaucratic fuck|boss]] [[W]] and the [[fundamentalist|Republican Party]] were brutally [[rape|ræped]] by the [[idiot|American]] public (in a rare moment of clarity) in [[last Thursday|the previous day's]] [[zerg rush|midterm elections]]. Overwhelmed with feelings of [[emo|rejection]], he abandoned his [http://donald-rumsfeld.livejournal.com  LiveJournal], never to return. Warning! Reading those mediocre decade old posts written by Rumsfeld's cock-sucking staff will immediately trigger depression as you will remember how much the Bush's years in office were shit, and left wondering why this account was allowed to survive that much time on LJ and not flushed into the toilet of obliveon.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Rumsfeld Hump.gif
File:Rumsfeld Macarena.jpg
File:Rumsfeld Nosefloss.gif
File:Rumsfeld Underestimate Chances.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
*[[Attention Whore]]
*[[Bureaucratic Fuck]]
*[[Drama-generating_techniques|Drama-Generating Techniques]]
*[[Iraq]]
*[[Terrorism]]
*[[Troll]]
<br />

==External Links==
[http://www.poe-news.com/features.php?feat=31845 Rumsfeld Fighting Techniques]

[[Category:People]]
{{Politics}}
{{Stub}}