View source for Kevin Havens

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'''Kevin Havens thinks [[ED]] currently owes him AT LEAST ${{ #expr:{{ #expr:{{User:Anwar Sadat's Horny Ghost/gsd|year={{CURRENTYEAR}}|month={{CURRENTMONTH}}|day={{CURRENTDAY}}}}-{{User:Anwar Sadat's Horny Ghost/gsd|year=2013|month=7|day=23}}}}*15000}} [[Talk:Kevin_Havens|for not taking this page down.]]'''</div>
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{{aspergers}}

<b>[http://www.moonport.org/play.php?vid=227 See Kevin's masterpiece, ''A Tribute to Daphne'', over at YouTube!]</b> 

<!--[[File:Image_of_Love.JPG|left|thumb|360px|An Image of Love: Kevin and one of his harem, Daphne.]]
[[File:Kevin_and_the_girls.JPG|left|thumb|Chillin' with his bitches.]]-->
[[Image:It_won%27t_hurt_baby.jpg |left|thumb|This is Kevin...]]
'''Kevin Havens''' (alias '''casperghostboy''', '''casperg1977''', '''Beetface''') is a {{age|1977|4|29}}-year old [[sick fuck]] from Virginia Beach, [[Virginia]] who became the subject of multiple threads on [[SomethingAwful]] that have been archived into the Comedy Goldmine. The original thread can be viewed [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2826114 here], and the recently-created fourth thread is [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3312711 here].

Kevin was discovered by a [[sock puppet|friend]] of SA Forum Goon Kaptain K who was [[lol|doing research on sex dolls]] and stumbled onto Kevin's blogs. He would forward the links to Kaptain K, who immediately saw the comic potential of it and started a thread on SA that would quickly become epic and spawn additional threads for the next several years.

At first Kevin seemed to be just some [[retarded]] [[Mac]] user who liked fucking sex dolls and didn't know that it wasn't such a brilliant idea to post that information on [[the internets]], along with every fucking mundane detail of his private life. With a little bit of detective work, the [[Goons]] found out he was something far more hilarious. He more or less became [[Something Awful]]'s [[Chris-Chan]], what with being an [[aspie]] dollfucker and writer of horrible songs and fiction.

[[Image:Kevin_in_Mannequin.JPG|right|thumb|When he [[spergin|spergs]], anything can happen!]]

Kevin, upon finding out that the [[Goons]] were having much [[lulz]] at his expense, went "[[BAWWWWW]]" like a crybaby and tried to [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING]], but he wasn't as [[1337]] a [[h4X0r]] as he claimed to be and his efforts proved fail. He just encouraged further trolling and the [[lulz]] snowballed.

== What in the fuck is wrong with him? ==
[[Image:Signs_of_fas.JPG |left|thumb|... and this is a kid with [[FAS]]. Notice anything?]]
<!--[[Image:Trapezoid.JPG |left|thumb|[[You]] can't make this face.]]
[[Image:Kevinkavster.png|left|thumb|But a hamster can.]]-->
[[Image:Off_meds_kevin.jpg|left|thumb|A snapshot of his daily life...]]
[[Image:Kevin%27s_blog.JPG|left|thumb|He bit the wrong bullet.]]
[[Image:Kevinhavensgrids.jpg|right|thumb|]]

Kevin is best known for having [[statuephilia]], aka being a dollfucker. He claims to have [[Aspergers]], but we all know there's no such thing. His beet-red complexion is likely due to a combination of [[Diabeetus|high blood-pressure]] from ingesting tons of caffeinated beverages, alcohol, and junk food every day. It's doubtful he is red-faced from shame. He's evidently been found to be fucked-up enough to receive disability checks for it, which he constantly considers spending on fuckdolls.

{{squote|<b>Maybe I could understand the ([[RealDoll]]) $1,100 price tag a bit better and I also understand that “some assembly is required,” but I can easily afford that by saving up some of my disability checks.</b>|Kevin Havens: Your tax dollars at work.}}

As for the NOTism claim, his blogs and posts do indicate he's nonetheless [[Fucktarded|maladjusted]] and prone to obsessive behaviors.  You can also check out his Doll Forums posts [http://www.dollforum.com here]''', just search for '''casperghostboy'''.

As it is, his condition is [[self-diagnosed]]. [[Drugs|Self-medicated]], too.

{{squote|'''And finally, when I was “high” on something I smoked back when I wrote the thing on brain [[Disorder|disorders]] well, I was lucky to find something on Asperger’s Syndrome… on my birthday when I got a Sunday newspaper. When I saw the “symptoms,” I instantly related to each and every one of them that was listed, when I was a [[child]] and when I am an adult now. I told Mr. Huddle this afternoon when I saw him.'''|  Kevin Havens. If it's on the internets it ''must'' be true!}}

Before making his claim of being an aspie, [http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=110198 Kevin was throwing around the term "schizoaffective"], meaning he had a mixture of [[schizophrenia]] and [[bipolar]] disorder, which explains both his impulsive behaviors and delusions. [http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=114714 To have him explain]: 

{{squote|<b>... How I got my disability (which is a mental one) was when I was four years old, I came down with a very serious peunomia and was sick for two weeks with a 104 deg + fever ... I am diagnosed (currently) as a schizoaffective. That is considered a cross between bipolar and schizophrenia. 

Just to let you know...</b>| Kevin Havens. His damage has been brained.}}

Kevin didn't seem to take issue with the professional diagnosis until the day he self-diagnosed himself as an Aspie. Since then he has denied being anything besides an aspie or a "high-functioning" autistic, [http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=192339 as can be seen by this Doll Forum post]. He can't be all ''that'' high-functioning, seeing as he does not even possess a GED. 

Still, Kevin displays obsessive and repetitive behaviors similar to autistics, and his interests are extremely limited. He is obsessed with fuckdolls, the movie [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093493/ ''Mannequin''], the TV show [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_Wonder_(TV_series) ''Small Wonder''], Linux, the band [http://www.squeezeofficial.com/ Squeeze], [http://www.thinkgeek.com/ ThinkGeek], [http://www.foodnetwork.com/ Food Network], and... that's pretty much it. Seriously. In thousands of posts and dozens of blogs those are the main subjects. Aside from occasionally bitching about his girlfriend or people he suspects of conspiring against him, those are the only topics of discussion that exist in his mind whatsoever.  

It is clear that Kevin has [[fucktard|mental issues]], and should be on a shit-ton of [[drugs|meds]]. He's stated on his blogs and posts that he hears his dolls speaking to him, and he speaks back to them. In fact, he goes so far as to insist they tell him that they want their own website, argue over which [[operating system]] is the best, and insist that he signs their names along with his on all of his [[shit|forum posts]] and e-mails. 

<center>{{frame|
{{morphquote|quote|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|
Right now I have Daphne by my side and I can feel her presence strongly and she is hinting to me what to say here. To some people, they'll think you're schizo. I may have [[Asperger's]], but there is no way in hell that I'm schizophrenic. These dolls have a nice presence that even a few minutes spent with one, it's felt for forever. I may want a robotic partner if [[Murder|something]] happens to Kathryn (my [[girlfriend|RealGirl]]), and I know that it is not too far off. [[Internet_killers|Not the possible separation of me and Kathryn]], but I know the offering of maybe somewhat-limited [[Robot|robotic partners]] is not too far away. I'm safely predicting 2010-2015 at the earliest. Not too far away FWIW. My three cents.CGM, Kathryn and Daphne| Kevin Havens, In denial.
|She looked like to me that she was a [[h4x0r|code-hacking]], caffeine-drinking, kind of [[Republican|conservative]] in her dress (until Andrea let her try tying her shirt bottom around her waist showing her belly button), [[Linux]] (Debian and [[Ubuntu]])-using, kind of doll. I had to wean her onto [[Mac OS X]], my favorite [[OS]], because I had been exposed to Macs since System 6 and System 7.5, and I instantly fell in love with the Mac OS, even though that [[Mac OS X]] has a [[Unix]] foundation. (So I trained on [[Linux]] to give me an idea of the [[Unix]] foundation of [[Mac OS X]].)| Kevin Havens, his dolls <i>must</i> use Macs, too.
|'''Well, I talked to my therapist, “Skip” Santti, with the wonderful organization Tidewater [[Psychotherapy]] Services (a step ahead of the Dept. of Human Services’ iteration of it) yesterday, and he supports my iDollator “feelings” (as he likes to call them) not 100%, but pretty damn close to 85 to 92%. Just like homosexuality ([EDIT:] but I’m [[Not Gay|not homosexual]] btw), [[Statuephilia|Pygmalionism]] (iDollator, Agalmatophila, ASFR) is a normal part of my sexuality. Unlike the clients and staff with Human Services, Mental Health Services Div., who wants to be hell-bent with “getting me off of ‘it’,” Skip says that my sexuality is normal in my own perspective, and while others (including members and staff at Beach House) may not “get it,” but it would be in my own best interest not to tell them that I am a Pygmalionist'''.| Kevin Havens in his own words.
}}|border=blue|background=white}}</center>

He's spent a lot of the last few years in various dollfucker forums, asking about everything from how he could go about building his own fuckdoll to [[Wal-Mart|where he can buy cheap clothing]] [http://www.dollchronicles.com/forum/?num=1206171203 for his dollies]. He often says he's asking on one of his dolls' behalf. The poor fucker also believes the [[old meme]] "[[All your base]]" is [[Lie|still funny]].

His heroes include [http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=225086076 Davecat] and [http://www.youtube.com/user/GordonGriggs Gordon Griggs], [[celebrity]] dollfuckers since they appeared in a BBC documentary about dollfucking and some others. [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3710987618964917848&hl=en View ''Guys & Dolls'' here].

He also writes horrible ''Mannequin'' [[fanfiction]].

== The Journey To Love ==

[[Image:Kevin_in_Mannequin_2.JPG|right|thumbnail|He's back!]]

Kevin's ''Mannequin''/''Weird Science'' fanfiction was discovered [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2869279&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=67 late in the second SA thread] and [[lulz]] returned with a vengeance. It inspired an Awful Audiobook and spurred the posting of the third thread, [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3017787 The Journey To Love: A Dollfucker's Fictionalities].

The absolute best part of Kevin's internet output aside from blogs is his [[fan fiction]]... several different versions of the same basic story '''“The Journey To Love”'''... about fucking a mannequin.  

It would practically require a whole other article to truly encompass the utter fucked-upitude that is on display in these stories of his. ''[http://web.archive.org/web/20060907224602/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/tjtl30bk.htm TJTLv3.0]'' thru ''[http://web.archive.org/web/20060517162327/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/TJTL70beta-FullFinalRev2-03072006.pdf TJTLv.7.0]'' all tell essentially the same story. In them, Kevin is [[Mary Sue|an intenet-addicted loser who lives in a group home]] who one day gets a mysterious message from Chris Difford (from the band Squeeze), who in Kevin's alternate reality runs a dating service of sorts that pairs male failures with mannequins that magically come to life.

The mannequins then turn into women who are in every way the mens' feminine ideals, and they have unlimited resources such as money and whatever else can possibly be called for. Kevin gets Alexa, and his friends (based on Kevin's IRL "friends") get magical mannequin-women as well and they all go on crazy group dates and have wild, beer-and-cigarette drenched parties. The plot also includes laughably shallow villains (based on Kevin's IRL "enemies") who want nothing more than to break the heroes and the mannequin-women up, for no other reason than "just because" generally.

Okay, basically what you do here is take the movies ''Mannequin'' and ''Weird Science'' and replace the heroes with psychotic, hyperactive autistics and give Kim Catrall's bimbo character from ''Mannequin'' some of the powers from ''Weird Science''. Keep in mind this story is written by an aspie, so ''every little motherfucking detail you never even considered would wind up in a story '''does!''''' Everything they buy and eat and watch on TV and wear and listen to on the stereo and whatever other mind-numbingly mundane thing that can be included in there '''''is!''''' 

And as for ''[http://www.4shared.com/file/89846915/4d9f5923/RealTJTL-TJTL80-FullFinal01162007.html TJTLv8.0]'', it is in and of itself somehow more fucked-up than all of the previous versions combined because it happens to be [[IRL|autobiographical]], not a "fictionality" like he would refer to the others as. In ''TJTLv8.0'', Kevin goes into detail about how his [[Statuephilia|mannequin fetish]] and dollfuckery came about. He also sperges at great lengths as to how events in his life would end up shaping his previous stories. Then he goes on about how he met the love of his life in Kat and how he lost his virginity to her, how she once attempted [[suicide]], how they got engaged, and how from that point on he would never again think of dolls or mannquins. Yeah, right.

== His Musical Career  ==

Kevin also had an imaginary band (yes, ''imaginary'') with his friends at the time and his brother at one point, singing the songs [[Weird Al]] wouldn't dare... mainly because he'd be far too ashamed to dabble in such utter crap.

"You have entered the realm of... ''[http://web.archive.org/web/20040904030943/s88890090.onlinehome.us/Kevin_Havens_Redux_Machine/index.html Kevin Havens' Redux Machine!'']"

''[http://web.archive.org/web/20040904060618/s88890090.onlinehome.us/Kevin_Havens_Redux_Machine/Singles/index.html Reduxtion]'' is a mixed bag of songs about his obsessions with computers, the [[loli]] from ''Small Wonder'', Squeeze, and his hatred of behavioral health care services.

''[http://web.archive.org/web/20040904060641/s88890090.onlinehome.us/Kevin_Havens_Redux_Machine/Tiffany_Brissette_45s_And_Under/index.html Tiffany Brisette's 45s and Under]'' is dedicated '''entirely''' to the [[loli]] from ''Small Wonder''. To emphasize further, keep in mind these are songs written by a man who would have been 25 years old at the time of writing them and they are about a 10-year-old girl.

''[http://web.archive.org/web/20040904030943/http://s88890090.onlinehome.us/Kevin_Havens_Redux_Machine/Christmas/index.html The KHRM Christmas Album]'' is more Squeeze covers riffing on computers, the internet, and [[Robot|cybernetic]] [[loli]]. He also throws in a song about missing his hated father and [http://web.archive.org/web/20040926090512/s88890090.onlinehome.us/Kevin_Havens_Redux_Machine/Christmas/Xmas_Story.htm an incomprehensible story about Christmas shopping].

== Kevin's Harem ==

'''''For more information than you could ever possibly want on Kevin’s dolls, refer to the page [[Kevin Havens/Kevin's Dolls]].'''''

{{cg|The CGBWives|Kevin Havens|center|
<gallery>
Image:Alldressedup.jpg|CGBWife #1: Alexa Tilbrook.
Image:Justchillin.jpg|CGBWife #2: Daphne Holland.
Image:Andreamannequin.JPG|CGBWife #3: Andrea Difford.
Image:Andrea_sans_wig.JPG|Andrea without the wig.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Doll_lazer1.jpg|Lazer? What's a lazer?
Image:Doll_lazer2.jpg|Watch out, Kevin! She's chargin her [[lazer]]!
Image:Daphne2.JPG|Yes, he put glasses on her.
Image:Smashed-crab-face201.png|Kevin and his favorite busty torso.
Image:Silicone_gothic.JPG|Kevin and his first wife out workin' the farm.
Image:Woven_wife.JPG|[http://www.longago.com/MA.html Kevin may have made one of these.] And then fucked it.
Image:Canadian_Beach_House.JPG|He wasn't "her" first either. He buys "refurbished".
Image:Daphnes_id.JPG|By Kevin. Daphne's ID.
Image:Ubuntu_mag.JPG|By Kevin. Goons can bite his ass.
Image:Nicki1.JPG|CGB_Wife #4: Nicki Wilkinson.
Image:Nikkineck.JPG|A bit of a fixer-upper...
Image:Tiffany_and_Daphne.JPG|Tiffany is the white one, not the "spicy latina".
</gallery>}}

Kevin’s dolls are central to his life, more so than  friends, family, Squeeze, and Linux put together. He has owned 6 dolls and a mannequin so far, and has constructed elaborate backstories and personalities for each and every one of them. He actually believes that his dolls speak to him. He says that they give him ideas and encouragement, kind of like that Son of Sam guy and the dogs.

The dolls are basically manifestations of his feminine ideals. The personalities he attributes to the dolls come into existence before he even owns the actual dolls. He mulls over what sort of doll the personality should be incarnated as, usually a $7000 RealDoll, and then when reality hits, he starts looking for bargain second-hand dolls since he can never be expected to save up the money for a genuine RealDoll.

His first notable doll, Alexa, was given to him free by a member of The Doll Forum. He eventually broke it, and was able to get over it quickly because soon afterwards he met his fleshy girlfriend, Kat. He moved in with Kat, and started doll shopping again even though he had mentioned in posts and his story that he would never again feel the need for a doll. He made up Daphne’s personality in his head, and then bought the first doll to come up for sale that he could afford. This doll became the central figure and influence in his life and quickly replaced Kat as his most beloved.

He would go on to buy Andrea to satisfy his mannequin fantasies, but he would later have to put it in storage because it creeped Kat out. Unsatisfied with the limited amount of sexual activity he could have with it, Kevin would ask Kat if he could have another doll. She gave in and said he could have one if he got rid of Andrea completely, which he did.

Kevin’s next doll would be in a state of disrepair, but he bought Nicki on impulse since it was being sold for only $100 and was [[silicone]]. Nicki lasted only a few months before breaking down beyond repair, so Kevin chopped it up and threw it away, and once again bugged his real girlfriend about getting yet another doll.

Kevin’s next doll, Tiffany, would be the first one he would own that wasn’t already used. He also made up the story that it is Daphne’s sister, thus fulfilling perhaps one of his other [[incest|fantasies]].

== Kevin and the RealGirl ==
[[Image:Kev-n-kat.jpg|left|thumb|The happy couple.]]
[[Image:KevinandKat2.jpg|left|thumb|They're having [[sex]] and getting married. What about [[you]]?]]
<!--[[Image:Kat-covered-in-dolls.jpg|left|thumb|She looks dead inside...]]-->



In spite of being a dollfucker, Kevin had a rare chance not to [[Dying_alone|die alone]]. In addition to his dolls, he had a "[[Girlfriend|RealGirl]]" named Kathryn Gage, star crossed lovers really. She is unable to move on her own, just his type, and she probably felt unlikely to do any better in the [[Man]] Department than a [[retard]] who [[fucks]] inanimate objects like her. At one point they were afraid of her being [[pregnant]] since giving birth would probably kill her. She also employed Kevin as her caretaker. Basically Kevin [[Infantilism|changed her diapers]],  bathed her, and ran errands for her. They lived off of her disability check and survivor's benefits and he was paid for living with her, bringing in about $30,000 a year. [http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=228364 He explains the arrangement in this Doll Forum thread].

Kevin claimed that she shared his interest in dolls as well, but Kevin's brother would later mention on SA that Kat had no interest in his dolls, hated them even, and only put up with it because she felt Kevin was the best she could possibly do. 

<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|quotes1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|
And back in [[2006]], I had found a [[Girlfriend|RG]] (our term here for human women, it's short for "Real Girl" or "RealGirl," however you want to say it, and was drawn from the movie Lars and the Real Girl, which is coming out to DVD this Tuesday—can't wait) and even though that she hidden from me at first that she really didn't mind my interest in dolls, but it was for a good reason: she didn't want the two people (who aren't our [[friends]] anymore after some fucking [[stupid]] stunt they pulled about a month after we met), who set me and Kat (my [[Whore|RG]]) up to know that she really didn't mind it, it was my interest and it wasn't her duty to restrict me from it.|Kevin Havens

|About a day later, even though that we did not have any condoms, we decided to “get it on” and have sex for our first time. When Chanita suggested a certain position so we could “do it,” I couldn’t get “my thing” in that well. I did come, but only a very tiny bit. Even though that first time wasn’t that successful, but I considered it a triumph. Right then and there I swore off dolls... for good.| Kevin Havens is, unfortunately, ''not'' a virgin.

|The next day, I didn’t want to live a [[lie]], and I didn’t want her wondering why a huge box was being delivered to the apartment, I opened the Private Messages module on TDF and showed her that I had bought a doll from another TDF member. Right then and there she [[Barrel Roll|hot-rodded]] her chair into the bedroom while I asked her what was wrong. She didn’t say anything. A few minutes later, Jason Stratman called and asked me why Kat was acting [[Emo|moody]]. I told him that Kat was mad that I had bought a doll. Kat told me to get off the phone right there. We argued for a few minutes and wasn’t talking to each other for a couple of hours, but we had reconciled our differences the next morning. A few days later, Kat was anticipating the doll’s arrival along with me.
....
Well, it’s almost three in the morning and I need to get Kat changed and dressed soon before I go lay down to take a somewhat short nap so I can go with Kat to her urologist appointment so she can get her catheter changed for at least another three weeks to a month.| Kevin Havens. His girlfriend is cool with his dolls. Really!}}|border=blue|background=white}}</center>

He quickly got engaged to his "RG" by luring her to a [[YTMND]] page featuring [[Captain Picard]] saying "I believe you have my N-Gage", though, they never got around to marriage because her survivor's benefits would be cut, their Social Security status would change, and he wouldn't be able to continue getting away with being paid to live with her.

It wasn't love at first sight, mind you. In the Version 8.0 of his autobiographical wish-fulfillment epic '''The Real Journey to Love''' he poignantly describes his first impressions:

{{squote|<b>...First it was with this wheelchair person, in the story, that Jason attempted to bring her to my front door, especially when Alexa and I were having our first time together, with Alexa “alive” and when he brought this person to the door, I called her an “abomination”... This person in the wheelchair told me to “have fun with that mannequin” and to “smoke and drink until he ends up in Hell.”</b>}}

But why shack up with a real woman?  What's in it for Kevin besides a place to live, food, and occasionally sex? Kathryn had signed him as her beneficiary. That meant that upon her death he would get a shitload of money, at least enough to buy a coveted [http://www.realdoll.com RealDoll], which is exactly what he intended to do. He swore that when she died he'd never be with another real woman ever again. Never [[EVAR]]. The doll he'd get would have been made in Kathryn's likeness. Only it wouldn't be crippled, and it'd be [[Thinspiration|slim]] with big tits and totally hott, so to speak.

But alas, things would not be so perfect. For Kevin, Kat's death couldn't come soon enough. In spite of knowing full-well that living with Kat would be a lot of responsibility, [http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=175833 Kevin would still bitch about taking care of her] while turning around and showering his dolls with gifts. Eventually Kevin would tire of doing anything that he didn't want to, which was anything besides sperging out on the computer or talking to and fucking his dolls. At one point he hit her, which he would admit to in a chat on The Doll Forum...
<h3><span class="co;[-];[+];0;quote2"></span>Kevin On Domestic Abuse</h3><div class="quote2">

{{squote|<b>
5:48 pm: Beach House knows you hit Kat on May 27

5:49 pm: i wonder what kind of payday that would be?

[casperghostboy] 5:51 pm: htf do they know that?

5:51 pm: so you do admit it's true.

5:51 pm: you were drunk and yelling at her wasn't working, so you hit her

[casperghostboy] 5:52 pm: right, but how do they know that? I never mentionedd it anyw\here on the net

5:52 pm: why did you hit her?

5:53 pm: what was the yelling about?

[casperghostboy] 5:53 pm: I wasn't drunk, and the ONLY way they knew if Human Services told them.

5:53 pm: you were drunk, because you were

[casperghostboy] 5:53 pm: prolly about not getting up

[casperghostboy] 5:53 pm: I WAS NOT.

5:54 pm: then why did Kat make you swear to quit drinking?

5:54 pm: it was so you wouldn't get mad and hit her anymore

[casperghostboy] 5:54 pm: right

5:55 pm: but now you are drinking again anyway

5:55 pm: Beach House knows about that too

[casperghostboy] 5:55 pm: not that much, about once a week

5:56 pm: I will let this drop, if you will make a post in the Open Forum about what happened and how sorry you are.

[casperghostboy] 5:56 pm: The ONLY way Beach House wouldd EVER know about that if Human Services toldd them.

5:56 pm: you have to put in all the details. I will know if you don't

[MelissaBounce] 5:56 pm: we aren't going to play Drama Forum...

[MelissaBounce] 5:57 pm: What Casper posts and doesn't post, is his choice, not yours.

5:57 pm: Sorry, Melissa. But I think this is important

[MelissaBounce] 5:57 pm: I don't... this is the Doll Forum...

[CJD] 5:58 pm: Mel is right

5:58 pm: fine. I overstepped

[CJD] 5:58 pm: you may have somting iportant...but this is not the place for it.

5:58 pm: I do apologize, casper

[casperghostboy] 5:59 pm: apology accepted

5:59 pm: well, great. Let's talk doll now</b> | Kevin on beating his wheelchair bound meal ticket.}}
</div>

=== The Smokerchip Document ===

A group of concerned net denizens, including members of The Doll Forum and Goons, assembled as the Smokerchip Group in order to document Kevin's state of mind and abuses towards Kat and would then send the compiled information to a number of agencies in Virginia. It is a very detailed document, but much less [[TL;DR]] than this article.

<b>[[Kevin_Havens/The_Smokerchip_Document|Click here to view The Smokerchip Document]].</b>

== His Family == 
<gallery>
Image:Violentjess.jpg|Would you let your sister wind up like this?
<!--Image:1597768224.jpg|Kevin's bro, the only normal one of the family.-->
</gallery>

Kevin currently lives in [[Virginia]], originally hailing from Florida. His dad is dead and was [[Homosexual|in the Navy]], which may somewhat explain Kevin's constantly declaring "[[No Homo]]". He has a sister who is actually a [[juggalo|juggalette]], and somewhat approaching normal considering, despite her brother.

His brother used to [[troll]] IGN like a motherfucker and would get blamed for all the stupid shit Kevin himself [http://boards.ign.com/teh_vestibule/b5296/21682935/p20/ posts on there]. He's actually a [[pretty cool guy]] for what it's worth, and [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3017787&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=22#post360008251 he recently came forward on SA about Kevin's behavior, posting as '''jtotal''']. It was from Will that it was first learned that Kevin had brain damage as a child, has acted like a spoiled brat his entire life, and that Kat is a drama queen. 

Little is known about their mother, other than her uterus produced an astonishing amount of firstborn [[failure]].

=== Kevin's brother speaks! ===

Through this very article Kevin's brother learned about what was going on with Kevin and [[teh internets]]. Kevin's brother joined [[Something Awful]] and discussed what it was like [[Hell|growing up with Kevin]] as '''jtotal'''. The drama can be read by [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3017787&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=22#post360004761 clicking here]!

Kevin's brother basically tells that everything Kevin says about anything but dollfucking and wasting money is a fuckton of lies. He also lets it out that Kevin is a raging [[pedo]] who constantly [[Masturbation|touches himself]] when nothing else is available, among other things. [[Truth|No lie]].

{{squote|<b>I've just learned a lot.

http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Kevin_Havens

Come on Kevin. This is just embarrassing. When you mentioned many many months ago that you were being harassed by people, I didn't think that it was to this scale... But this is just.. wow. You are embarrassing us and the entire family. It's not exactly rewarding to be known as some "wrestlefag", something I was into when younger and obviously grew out of, among the internet. Not to mention the younger brother of you... now.

Kevin. This seems like it would be a wake up call but none of this has seemed to phase you except by fueling their fire. Ok. Yes. The internet is set up so anyone can use it and talk about anything their hearts desire. YES. I am definately all about that. Except there are also forums on "White Power" and the KKK. [[Anontalk.com|Sites where child molesters can freely talk about how they love little kids.]] Does that make it ok?

Honestly? Please. I don't care about the rest of you. You all can do you weird doll loving things and talk about them. Kevin. Just fade away and go low profile or something. I want to obviously say so much more, and you more than anyone know that. I, William Havens, despise, with every inch of my sexy 6'1, 140 pound body, what you do. It's that you don't look at Kat as your one and only. You throw life into these dolls and put Kat aside. No matter what she is saying now and how she claims to accept it. She's doing it because she feels if she doesn't she has no where else to turn. That's an actual statement. She feels that if you're gone, who else is going to fill that [[vagina|void]] in her life?

Kevin, please hear me out. I just want you to just take down everything you are doing. Take it all down. Hell you can archive it for all I care on your computer. Just this is getting a little too personal. And you're doing more than just hurting yourself.</b>| Will Havens (jtotal).}}

== A [[White_Knighting|White Knight]] Appears ==
[[Image:Kevinmidi.jpg|right|thumb|Doll Defenders and Axis of [[Creepy]].]]
[[Image:Daves_lawyer.jpg|right|thumb|[[David Hockey]]'s lawyer. Run, [[Lowtax]]!]] 
[[Image:Furries_and_dollfuckers_merged.jpg|left|thumb|[[David Hockey]] (foreground). Writer. Producer. Director. Also dollfucker, [[furry]], and [[plushie]].]]

About the time [[Goons]] started to feel more pity than outrage about the whole situation, a [[Canadian]] dollfucker named [[David Hockey|David '''Hockey''']] appeared on the scene. He was so [[butthurt]] over the Goons' treatment of Kevin that he wrote an angry letter to [[Lowtax]], comparing them to the [[KKK]] and threatening [[Internet_lawsuit|legal action]] on Kevin's behalf. Lowtax promptly posted transcripts of the e-mails in the thread telling Hockey to go [[Inflation art|inflate]] his E-lawyer and the Goons now had at the very least '''double''' the number of dollfuckers to laugh at. Hockey [[Unwarranted_self_importance|claimed to be a documentary producer]] researching the dollfucking phenomenon. Hockey has duly earned himself his own separate entry due to the sheer magnitude of his [[fail]].

He tried to build up Kevin's ego, and Kevin tried to grow some balls.

{{squote|<b>ANOTHER [[Goon|GOON]] ATTACK?!?!? 

Damn, can't these [[Something Awful]] members (and I believe that it's them again) give up? 

You know, we can get Lowtax criminally charged for allowing "harassment over common carrier," a federal crime. Just a heads up...

CGM, CGB_Wife, Daphne, Andrea and Rachael 

PS: I missed on the fun. I went away [[Fail|making failures]] trying to encode videos for the Sony PSP using open-source tools and I was away for a while. I guess it was in my best interests. Way to go mods! Now slap Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka with a criminal charge and get his f*cking website shut down. 

_________________

CasperGhostboy, Kathryn, Daphne and Andrea</b>| [[Kevin Havens]]. What.}} 

[[David_Hockey|Dave]]'s continued misbehavior has not only earned him an entry on [[ED]], but a thread on [[SA]] where he gets to be the star of the show. [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2869279 Click here for Dollfucker's Travellogue]. Kevin briefly became best buddies with Davey and his butt-buddy, another dollfucker named [[Pit_Viper]] (who has turned out to be a not-so-bad guy). Hockey would eventually get too embroiled in scandals over at The Doll Forum to bother with Kevin anymore, and Pit_Viper would eventually come to realize what a worthless douchebag Kevin really is.

== Epic Insanity Ensues ==
<!--<gallery perrow=5>
Image:He_hit_her.JPG|Kat's FB announcement.
Image:The_announcement.JPG|He [[married]] his fucking fuckdoll!
Image:Its_official.gif|It's official... on the internet, anyway.
Image:The_breakup.JPG|[[Lie|His side of the story.]]
Image:Kevin1.jpg|His side continued.
</gallery>-->

Kevin has become even ''more'' [[schizophrenic]]. He was spending all of his time dicking around and posting on The Doll Forum as himself and his dolls. This is actually common behavior on that forum and therefore nobody told him to stop being such a ridiculous, spergin' fucknut. He was also wasting enormous sums of money buying energy drinks, electronics, and clothes while claiming the items were for his dolls. This meant he and his real, living, breathing girlfriend were reduced to eating cheap, microwavable crap and were constantly worried about paying rent on time. Instead of snapping out of his crazy haze and sacking up, Kevin continued holing up in his filthy room, scarfing down junk while listening to Squeeze and masturbating to doll porn as the silicone sisters watched on. And he continued ignoring his girlfriend Kat, until one fateful day...

It is unclear as yet as to what exactly transpired on May 09, 2010 between Kevin and Kat in their (Kat's) apartment. All that can be gleaned is that at some point he hit her again and she declared them broken-up and that he would have to leave, taking his dolls with him. She posted on [[Facebook]] that he had hit her and they were broken up. Meanwhile, he has evidently gone to a cheap motel and has continued posting on The Doll Forum, as himself and as Daphne of course. [http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=334346 What he and "she" have announced] is that [http://www.virtualvow.com/wedding.php?id=26332 he has '''''MARRIED''''' his doll Daphne] and that the break-up was all ''Kat's'' fault. [http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=334557 He has declared that he no longer wants anything to do with real women ever again and that he has found Shangri-La now that he is alone-yet-not-alone with his dolls].  No doubt the people in the next room over had to listen to the most one-sided honeymoon in history throughout the night of May 11, 2010. 

At any rate, Kevin is currently unemployed as Kat's caretaker, no longer has a full SSDI check on which to live on, has no friends or family to turn to, and is rushing to find a cheap one-bedroom apartment before he runs out of money and is forced to wander the streets from wi-fi hotspot to wi-fi hotspot with his dolls in tow, pleading for help from the internet.

In June 2010, Kevin finally went to a shelter after selling some of his crap and putting the rest, including the dolls, in storage.  He is supposedly going to get help, but who knows how well that'll work out.

May 2013, Kevin and his dolls have returned on [https://mobile.twitter.com/JessiDLuvr Twitter] and [https://www.facebook.com/kevin.havens.980?ref=ts&fref=ts Facebook].  Interestingly, all of his dolls have their own fb pages, and they all talk to each other...  Kevin claims to be married to a doll now called [https://www.facebook.com/jessica.havens.1238 Jessica Havens], which seems to have made his first love, [https://www.facebook.com/daphne.holland.16? Daphne Holland] a bit jealous.  

== Links ==
*[http://www.kevinshavenpolylovers.info/ Website for 2013]
*'''[http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2826114 The Something Awful Forum Thread- "Images of Loving: A Dollfucker's Blog"]'''
*'''[http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2869279 SA Forum Thread- "Images from the Road: A Dollfucker's Travellogue"]. Kevin makes a guest appearance.'''
*'''NEW![http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3017787 The Journey To Love: A Dollfucker's Fictionalities]. His THIRD SA appearance!'''
*'''[http://www.myspace.com/casperghostboy Kevin's MySpace Page].
*[http://www.myspace.com/tiffybrook One of '''his dolls'''' Myspace page]. No shit. He made that. 
*'''[http://www.dollforum.com/ He spends a ton of time here]'''...
*'''[http://groups.yahoo.com/group/materiallovedolls/ ... and here.]'''
*'''[http://www.dollforum.com//modules.php?name=Forums&file=search&search_author=casperghostboy In fact, here's a list of his ramblings on The Doll Forum]'''.
*'''[http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lovedollcreations/ Another Yahoo group]'''.
*'''[http://www.dollchronicles.com/ Hockey's Doll Chronicles site]'''.
*[http://casperghostboy.deviantart.com Kevin's DevianTART Page]- He must have forgotten he even had one.
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/casperghostboy Kevin's YouTube Page].
*[http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A13Z03666W18ZQ/ref=tag_stc_cust_eprf_t On Amazon].
*[http://club.ign.com/b/about?username=casperghostboy&which=ign On IGN].
*[http://fubar.com/casperghostboy Kevin's fubar page]. Buy him a drank, yo.
*[http://twitter.com/kevinahavens His Twitter]. Yes, he used that pic.
*[http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=253565122 Bebo].
*[http://www.myyearbook.com/casperghostboy His MyYearbook page]. Yes, he used that background.
*'''[http://web.archive.org/web/*hh_/s88890090.onlinehome.us/ Kevin's archived blog]'''
*'''[http://web.archive.org/web/20040904030943/s88890090.onlinehome.us/Kevin_Havens_Redux_Machine/index.html His band's site]'''... '''[http://web.archive.org/web/20040904060618/s88890090.onlinehome.us/Kevin_Havens_Redux_Machine/Singles/index.html and his songs' lyrics].'''
*'''[http://web.archive.org/web/20060504070709/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/index.html Kevin's opus, ''The Journey To Love'']'''.
*[http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1042525 Am I sick?]

Here are all the known links to his literary madness.

*'''[http://web.archive.org/web/20060504070709/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/index.html ''The Journey To Love''].'''
*''[http://web.archive.org/web/20060907224602/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/tjtl30bk.htm The Journey To Love v3.0]''- About half of the story is made up of references to [[Professional Wrestling]].
*''[http://web.archive.org/web/20060907224656/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/tjtl316bk.htm The Journey To Love v3.16]''- The continuation of ''TJTLv3.0''.
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20060907224541/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/tjtl40bk.htm ''The Journey To Love v4.0'', A "Fictionality" based on the Squeeze album East Side Story (Subtitle: ''Mannequin Three - The Journey To Love'')].  
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20060907224527/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/TJTL510B-FullFinal.pdf ''The Journey To Love v5.1'' - '''80 pages''']- Includes many ''[[Final Fantasy 7]]'' references. 
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20060907224741/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/TJTL60C-FullFinal.pdf ''The Journey To Love v6.0'' - '''100 pages'''].
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20060517162327/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/TJTL70beta-FullFinalRev2-03072006.pdf ''The Journey To Love v7.0'' - '''50 page''' ''Mannequin'' homage].
*''[http://www.4shared.com/file/89846915/4d9f5923/RealTJTL-TJTL80-FullFinal01162007.html ''The Journey To Love v8.0,'' '''aka The ''REAL'' Journey To Love].'''
*'''[http://www.4shared.com/file/89847211/fe1b15be/tjtl51script.html The MOVIE SCRIPT adapted from ''TJTLv5.1'']'''
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20060907224726/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/TJTL7Thanx.htm He even made a Revision History doc!] [http://web.archive.org/web/20060907224616/s88890090.onlinehome.us/The_TJTL_Project/new_in_tjtl.txt Two of them, actually].

'''NOTE:''' These blogs are cached and as such may be shuffled around. A few of these work some of the time, but by no means all of them.'''
*'''[http://www.4shared.com/file/89847592/aa84d889/The_NEW_Kevins_Havencom_Blab.html A download of Kevin's old WordPress blog].'''
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20031118201030/http://s88890090.onlinehome.us/ "I can be your best friend or I can be your worst enemy."]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20040903095505/http://s88890090.onlinehome.us/ "Jacob Spindler, you just got PWNED by me, Kevin "CasperGhostboy" Havens."]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20060710030501/http://s88890090.onlinehome.us/ "Guess what everybody? Imma dollfucker!"]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20040904032212/s88890090.onlinehome.us/profile.htm "The "About Me" section, but moar detailed!"]

== See Also ==
*[[Kevin_Havens/The_Smokerchip_Document]]
*[[Kevin Havens/Kevin's Dolls]]
*[[Asperger's syndrome]]
*[[Aspierations]]
*[[Victim complex]]
*[[David Hockey]]
*[[Peter Coffin]]
*[[Pit_Viper]]
*[[Statuephilia]]
*[[Something Awful]]
*[[Realdoll]]
*[[Russell Greer]] - Illegitimate brother?

{{Sex}}
{{Aspies}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{Fanfic}}
{{HTF}}

{{Timeline|Featured article March 17, [[2010]]|[[Akmal Shaikh]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Vampire]]}}

[[Category:People|Havens, Kevin]]

[[Category:Myspace]]