Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

Scientology Speedrunning

2026-05-14T03:57:23Z

The PolishPrince:

[[File:Scientology Davey miscavage.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Come on. Fuck with us, I dare you. I'll make sure you get to see what a $10 million a year retainer for a lawfirm can do to your poor ass</center>]]

[[File:Scientology Center Hollywood Boulevard Los Angeles 2019.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>The Church of Scientology Information Center on Hollywood Boulevard</center>]]

Just when you thought you've seen or heard everything, [[Xenu|Lord Xenu]], looking to further his battle against the [[Scientology|$cientologists]] that keep him tethered up in his intergalactic prison, if $cientology were a real religion we'd make a comparision to the [[Christianity|Archangel Michael]] and [[Satan]] but it isn't, hatched a genius plan.

Recently Lord Xenu was able to release himself from his [[Lie|electronic, wire-cage mountain trap]] (Seriously???) just long enough to put the idea of [[Speedrun|Speedrunning]] through the Church of Scientology Information Center in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California in the mind of [[TikTok|TikToker isDurpyy]] while filming himself running through the halls of the building screaming his powerful name [[Xenu]] to strike fear in all of the $cientologist's hearts. The idea that Lord Xenu implanted in isDurpyy's mind is if people will watch someone on [[Youtube]] beat [[Super Mario|Super Mario 69]] in less than 5 minutes, just think of all the views you'll get running through a Scientology building with your [[Dick]] hanging out.

Like all great ideas on the internet that get a lot of views and likes, Swhileyy wanted some of that sweet, sweet instant [[Fame|E-Fame]] and did a collaboration video with isDurpyy and on March 31, 2026 they did a video where they ran through the same $cientology building.

The video garnered over 90 million views on [[TikTok]] before [[Scientology|$cientology's]] well paid and [[Evil|Scarey]] lawyers had it removed.

So 90 million views equals, we guess, 0 [[Pussy|E-pussy]] unless they're counting a Japanese [[Hentai]] Anime and their [[Sister]]'s skin moiturizer.

Like all great things that someone else's [[Intelligence|Genius]] has brought forth such as [[McDonald's|The Drive Thru Restaurant]], The [[Batman]] Arkham Series and the [[Prison|Prison Shiv]], everyone and [[Your Mom|their Mother]] is looking to capitalize on this trend by imitating it because views and likes on a social site are more important than doing something interesting in their [[Life]] like maybe getting a [[Girlfriend]] or moving out of their Mother's [[Basement]].

<center><youtube>https://youtu.be/TbJSCQMZD4Y</youtube></center>

== Let's Get Straight To The Good Stuff ==

[[File:Scientology midget raid.jpg|right|250px]]

[[File:Tiny tom cruise stwie.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Vengence is his so says Xenu</center>]]

Since [[Scientology|$cientology]] is having videos taken down from TikTok and [[Youtube]] faster than [[You]] can finish 2 large [[New York]] style [[Pizza]]s and saying that these raids aren't happening despite their taking the outside handles off of the doors or chaining the inside doors (uh where's the fire marshal on this) of all their buildings and requiring that people be let in to their buildings only after flashing a wad of [[Money|Cash]] so we thought that we'd go straight to the best invasion before these things devolve into people getting inside the building, painting their [[Ass|Asses]] with ink and pressing them up against the walls and windows.

Oh [[Shit]]! How much do you want to bet that someone's going to read this and do it?

Probably the best and what will most likely be pinnacle of the [[Raid|Raids]] happened in May of 2026 when more than 20 [[Christian]] dwarves raided the $cientology headquarters in [[Los Angeles]] looking for [[Tom Cruise]] because, the dwarves, all being gymnast height, at or less than 4'8" or 142.25 centimeters if you're one of those [[European]] or [[Azn]] fags. Don't worry about [[Africa]]ns or [[South America]]ns. They can't count past 3.

Both the Dwarves and Tom Cruise being under 4'8", We really see a Cease and decist order from Tom Cruise. We'd say that we'd keep it as a piece of memorablia but they're about as rare as a warrant being served against the [[Catholic]] Church to look at their servers for [[CP|Child Porn]].

Once more, the Dwarves all being under 4'8" like Tom Cruise felt that they would be able to make friends with Tom since they both have to have conversations with people's [[Crotch rot|Crotches]]. Hoping to convert [[Tom Cruise|Mr. Cruise]] to the side of [[Christ]], the dwarves ran through the Scientology headquarters in Los Angeles looking for him.

As can be expected, the dwarf raid ended when $cientologists called the [[Cops]] and not wanting to be a [[Midget|Dwarf]] in [[Prison|Jail]] because it puts them at that perfect height where they wouldn't have to be forced down on their knees because [[Nigger|Bubu]] wants to [[Oral|Fuck someone's throat]], everybody made a run for it.

<center><youtube>https://youtube.com/shorts/HeQYLabj5Pc</youtube></center>

== Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, And Heart - Scientology Summons Their Lawyers ==

[[File:Scientology hallway pic.jpeg|right|250px]]

As these raids start to increase because what started out as a pretty [[Kewlies|Cool]] event, every [[Loser]] with a self-esteem problem has to go and ruin it because they want to be like that [[Nigger]] that goes around [[Washington, D.C.]] knocking people out while his friend films him on their phone and then gets caught because, like a dumbass, he uploaded the videos to [[TikTok]] and someone that knew him ratted him out for an easy $2,000.

Seriously. You would not believe how many [[Time]]s that has actually happened.

Scientologists, now taking cues from their [[Lawyers]] have started putting security cameras on every floor and have taken to getting in the way of these people doing speed runs because when one of the speed runners runs into them, it counts as [[Assault]] because the speed runners are already committing criminal tresspass and [[Steal|Burglary]] if the prosecutor decides to throw that one in for [[Lulz|Shits and Giggles]]. Trust us, with the amount of money $cientology likes to throw at '''Supressive Persons''', burglary will get added.

Being seen as a [[Church]] by the [[United States of Americunts]], these assaults can count as [[H8|Hate crimes]] and can be investigated and prosecuted by the [[Federal agents|Federal Government]].

Seeing as how $cientology likes to throw money at anything to make an [[Goatse|Asshole]] go away, if you're in one of these videos where a [[Scientology|$cientologist]] is struck, don't be surprised if the [[Party Van]] parks in front of your house and [[FBI|Scarey men in black suits]] step out if you haven't already been arrested because, as we said earlier, these runs are now being seen as [[H8|Hate Crimes]] and the [[Pigs]] are showing up at Scientology Centers faster then a Cop teleporting instantly to a [[Jewish]] Temple because a Rabbi called and said that there's a [[Nazi|Skinhead]] painting a [[Swastika]] on the Temple's door.

<center><youtube>AlPX3zZ66vI</youtube></center>

== Leah Remini Runs Her Mouth ==

[[File:Leah remini runs her mouth.jpg|right|250px]]

Looking like [[Star Trek|William Shatner]] on metabolic steroids for a lung infection and sounding like a five pack a day [[Cigarette|smoker]], [[Leah Remini]], always looking for attention and always ready to blame $cientology for everything wrong with her life actually had some good advice about this trend of $cientology Speedrunning.

Leah has said that these Speedruns do nothing but benefit $cientology because they get to play the [[Victim]] and [[Crybaby|cry]] that they are being attacked for nothing more then simply who they are.

Every time someone does a Speedrun in a $cientology building, $cientology gets to cry like a [[Jewish]] Temple in an [[Nazi|Aryan Nation]] neighborhood every time a [[Swastika]] is painted on their door. These Speedruns are counterproductive and let $cientology play the [[Jewish]] discrimination card and say that these [[Speedruns]] are only being done as an attack against their [[Religion|Faith]]

Leah also went on to say that these Speedruns do nothing to expose the [[Evil|Evils]] of $cientology. She said that these Speedruns are being done by clueless [[Retard|idiots]] that have only started doing them because they are [[Sheeple]] that think that one of these videos will make their, pathetic, hungry for attention asses look cool. These Speedrunners, she claimed, are no better than [[Tom Cruise]] dropping to his knees, we'll just say that Tom Cruise will drop to his knees and polish [[Psychopath|David Miscavige's]] shoes if he's ordered to because we really don't want to get [[Lolsuit|sued]]

In one of her more [[Intellectual|intelligent]] points, Leah ended by saying that these Speedruns are counterproductive. Leah claims that $cientology is a [[Cult]] and every day they are being indoctrinated with the [[Train Of Thought|Lesson]] that they are hated simply because they are $cientologists and misunderstood because the people outside their doors are polluted with diembodied spirits or '''Body Thetans''' and are always ready to attack them because $cientology knows the one true universal truth (Christ is King), and if you have enough money, they can exorcise you of these foul "spirits" so that you can have a seat at [[Xenu|Xenu's]] table. During the day you will fight to your death and then be reborn at your seat at [[Xenu|Xenu's]] table where you will eat, [[Alcohol|drink]] and celebrate all night and come morning, this cycle will repeat.

By doing these ''Speedruns'' just for views and likes, Leah said that all these people are doing is reinforcing this indoctrination because they are only being done to fill the wants of their narcissistic body thetans because they are only done for momentary fame.

In other words and if you are too dumb to get what [[Leah Remini]] said, in simple words:

<center>'''<big>QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE. EVERYTIME YOU DO ONE OF THESE SPEERUNS ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PLAYING INTO $CIENTOLOGY'S HANDS</big>'''</center>

<center><youtube>https://youtube.com/shorts/aUKMIluBRt0</youtube></center>

==See Also==

* [[Nicole Ritchie|eFame]]

* [[L. Ron Hubbard]]

* [[Leah Remini]]

* [[Money]] - They will take all your money and demand more.

* [[Project Chanology]]

* [[Scientology|$cientology]]

* [[Storm Area 51]] - more or less the same shit but with [[Area 51]].

* [[TikTok]]

* [[Tom Cruise]]

* [[Youtube]]

* [[Xenu]]

==External Links==
* {{wikilink|Scientology_speedrunning|TOW coverage}}

* {{KYM|memes/scientology-run|KYM coverage}}

{{Truth}}

{{Scientology}}

{{Chanology}}

{{cults}}

{{Social Media}}

[[category:Trolls]]
[[category:TikTok]]
[[category:2026]]

Template:Scientology

2026-05-14T03:39:02Z

The PolishPrince:

{| width="80%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="clear: both; margin:1.5em auto 1.5em auto; background-color: #FFFFE0; border-left: ridge #00cc00 5px; border-top: ridge #00cc00 5px; border-right: ridge #00cc00 6px; border-bottom: ridge #00cc00 6px;"

| style="text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;" | <span style="position: relative; vertical-align: middle;">[[Image:Xenu_homeboy.png|link=|75px]]</span><span style="color: black; font-weight: 900; font-size: 14px">{{PAGENAME}} is part of a series on [[Scientology]]</span><span style="poition: relative; vertical-align: middle;">[[Image:Xenu_homeboy.png|link=|75px]]</span>

|-
| style="text-align: center; vertical-align: middle;" |
'''<span class="collapsibletoggle">[<span class="mw-customtoggle-scientologytemp showhidetext"><span class="collapsibletoggletext hiddentext">Collapse</span><span class="collapsibletoggletext">Expand</span></span>]</span>'''

|-
| id="mw-customcollapsible-scientologytemp" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="padding: 5px; text-align: center; border-top: 3px solid black;" |

{| border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="3" width="100%"

| width="20%" style="text-align: center; background-color: #F9FFED; color: black; font-weight: bold; border-left: 1px solid #ff3399; border-top: 1px solid #ff3399; border-right: 2px groove #444444; border-bottom: 2px groove #444444;" | LOL TECH:
| width="80%" style="text-align: center; background-color: #F9FFED; color: black; border-left: 1px solid #ff3399; border-top: 1px solid #ff3399; border-right: 2px groove #444444; border-bottom: 2px groove #444444;" |
[[Dianetics]] •
[[Disconnection]] •
[[Child abuse]] •
[[Saint Hill]] •
[[HISTORY of the UNIVERSE|Scientology's History of the Universe]] •
[[Sec Check]] •
[[Freewinds]] •
[[Sea Org]] •
[[Glossary of Scientology|Glossary]] •
[[Religious Freedom Watch]] •
[[Volunteer Ministers]] •
[[OSA]] •
[[Space Opera]]

|-
| width="20%" style="text-align: center; background-color: #F9FFED; color: black; font-weight: bold; border-left: 1px solid #ff3399; border-top: 1px solid #ff3399; border-right: 2px groove #444444; border-bottom: 2px groove #444444;" | SCILONS:
| width="80%" style="text-align: center; background-color: #F9FFED; color: black; border-left: 1px solid #ff3399; border-top: 1px solid #ff3399; border-right: 2px groove #444444; border-bottom: 2px groove #444444;" |
[[L. Ron Hubbard]] •
[[David Miscarriage]] •
[[Tom Cruise]] •
[[Scientology Agents]] •
[[Tommy Davis]] •
[[Rogues Gallery]] •
[[Suri Cruise]] •
[[Terryeo]] •
[[Heaven's Gate]] •
[[The Regime]] •
[[Evil Jacket Guy]] •
[[Joe Feshbach]] •
[[VaLLarrr]] •
[[Tom Newton]] •
[[John Carmichael]] •
[[Freezone]] •
[[Captain Bill Robertson]] •
[[Danny Masterson]] •
[[Will Smith]] •
[[Oschaper]] •
[[Kendrick Moxon]] •
[[Tim Armer]] •
[[Jorge Serrano]] •
[[Ron Savelo]] •
[[John Travolta]] •
[[Jett Travolta]]

|-
| width="20%" style="text-align: center; background-color: #F9FFED; color: black; font-weight: bold; border-left: 1px solid #ff3399; border-top: 1px solid #ff3399; border-right: 2px groove #444444; border-bottom: 2px groove #444444;" | NOTORIOUS SPs:
| width="80%" style="text-align: center; background-color: #F9FFED; color: black; border-left: 1px solid #ff3399; border-top: 1px solid #ff3399; border-right: 2px groove #444444; border-bottom: 2px groove #444444;" |
[[Anonymous]] •
[[Wise Beard Man]] •
[[Jason Beghe]] •
[[Gas Mask Girl]] •
[[Magoo]] •
[[New Zealand Fail Guy]] •
[[Message from Scientology]] •
[[Shawn Lonsdale]] •
[[Rorschach]] •
[[Moralfag]]s •
[[Leaderfag]]s •
[[Raidfag Wench]] •
[[Scientology Speedrunning]] •
[[James Packer]] •
[[Leah Remini]] •
[[Epic Nose Guy]] •
[[Stu Wyatt]] •
[[Tommy Gorman]] •
[[The Unknown Autobot]] •
[[Psychiatrists]] •
[[Marcab Confederacy]] •
[[David Wu-Kapauw]] •
[[Epic Sword Guy]] •
[[Agent Pubeit]]

|-
| width="20%" style="text-align: center; background-color: #F9FFED; color: #552222; font-weight: bold; border-left: 1px solid #ff3399; border-top: 1px solid #ff3399; border-right: 2px groove #444444; border-bottom: 2px groove #444444;" | ENTURBULULZ:
| width="80%" style="text-align: center; background-color: #F9FFED; color: #552222; border-left: 1px solid #ff3399; border-top: 1px solid #ff3399; border-right: 2px groove #444444; border-bottom: 2px groove #444444;" |
[[PROJECT CHANOLOGY]] •
[[Why We Protest Forums]] •
[[A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan]] •
[[The Geterator]] •
[[Neil Gaiman's Sandman]] •
[[Paul "Fetch" Carnes]] •
[[ReligionIsFree.org]] •
[[You Found the Card]] •
[[I|/i/]] •
[[alt.religion.scientology]] •
[[PROJECT CHANOLOGY/LEAKED DOX|Complete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX]] •
[[888chan]] ([[THUNDERDOME|/td/]])
|}
|}<includeonly>[[Category:Scientology|{{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly><noinclude>

[[Category:Series Templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Portal:Truth/Related Articles

2026-05-14T03:33:21Z

The PolishPrince: /* S-T */

<noinclude>
== A-B ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent1" class="morphcontent">
[[Above Top Secret]] •
[[Adnan Oktar]] •
[[Adolf Hitler]] •
[[Agnosticism]] •
[[Akinator]] •
[[Al Gore]] •
[[Alan Watt]] •
[[Alex Jones]] •
[[Ali Sina]] •
[[Alien]] •
[[Allah]] •
[[Alternative Medicine]] •
[[America's Third Party]] •
[[American Solar Eclipse (2017)]] •
[[anakata]] •
[[Ann Coulter]] •
[[Anna Chapman]] •
[[AnokChan]] •
[[Area 51]] •
[[Armenians]] •
[[Atheist]] •
[[Atlantis]] •
[[Avoiding Unwanted Attention]] •
[[Ayn Rand]] •
[[Aztecs]] •
[[Backmasking]] •
[[Bahrain]] •
[[BDIC]] •
[[Bible]] •
[[Bible Thumper]] •
[[Bill Nye]] •
[[Brandonkeys]] •
[[Britam]] •
[[Broadside]] •
[[Buddha]]
</div>
<noinclude>

== C-D ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent2" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[Capitalism]] •
[[Carl Sagan]] •
[[Catholic]] •
[[Centrist]] •
[[ChadSyphrett]] •
[[Charles Manson]] •
[[Chekhov's Gun]] •
[[Chelsea Clinton]] •
[[Chilean Mole People]] •
[[Christian]] •
[[ChristianHillbilly]] •
[[Christopher Hitchens]] •
[[Chupacabra]] •
[[Climategate]] •
[[Coast to Coast AM]] •
[[Coffin]] •
[[Collector]] •
[[Communism]] •
[[Conservatism]] •
[[Conspiracy Theory]] •
[[Creationist]] •
[[Cropperb]] •
[[Cryptokids]] •
[[Cryptome]] •
[[Crystal Head Vodka]] •
[[Cthulhu]] •
[[Cult]] •
[[Curio]] •
[[Dan Brown]] •
[[Daniel Brandt]] •
[[Dave Henry]] •
[[David Icke]] •
[[David McKillips]] &bell;
[[David Miscarriage]] •
[[Dbootsthediva]] •
[[Demon]] •
[[Deus Ex]] •
[[Deus Ex Machina]] •
[[Dianetics]] •
[[Dick Masterson]] •
[[Doomsday Clock]] •
[[Dragon]]
</div>
<noinclude>

== E-F ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent3" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[E-psychiatry]] •
[[‎Edward Snowden]] •
[[Egypt]] •
[[Elvis Presley]] •
[[Eugenics]] •
[[Evolution]] •
[[Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed]] •
[[FOIA]] •
[[Fact]] •
[[Fairphone]] •
[[FakeSagan]] •
[[Faux News]] •
[[Feminism]] •
[[Feminist Frequency]] •
[[Flat Earth Society]] •
[[Flying Spaghetti Monster]] •
[[Forum COINTELPRO Techniques]] •
[[Francis E. Dec, Esq.]] •
[[Frank Bonafede]] •
[[Fukushima 2012]]
</div>
<noinclude>

== G-H ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent4" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[G20 Toronto Lollercaust]] •
[[GODOLOGY]] •
[[Galactic Federation of Light]] •
[[George Carlin]] •
[[Giving Advice]] •
[[GNWT]] •
[[God]] •
[[God hates fags]] •
[[GodJesus]] •
[[Godlike Productions]] •
[[Gorilla199]] •
[[Gring Go Home]] •
[[HAARP]] •
[[HBGary Federal]] •
[[Heather Lind]] •
[[Heaven]] •
[[Heaven's Gate]] •
[[Henry Makow]] •
[[Hero]] •
[[Hollie Greig]] •
[[Holocaust denial]] •
[[Hypnosis]]
</div>
<noinclude>

== I-J ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent5" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[Iceland Volcano 2010]] •
[[Iceslave]] •
[[Internet points]] •
[[Islam]] •
[[JEWS DID WTC]] •
[[Jack the Ripper]] •
[[James Randi]] •
[[Jerry Falwell]] •
[[Jesus]] •
[[Jesus Tortilla]] •
[[John F. Kennedy]] •
[[Jon Schweppe]] •
[[Judge David-Wynn Miller]]•
[[Just Because]]
</div>
<noinclude>

== K-L ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent6" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[Kenneth Eng]] •
[[Kent Hovind]] •
[[Kevin Trudeau]] •
[[King Of The Nerds]] •
[[Kool-Aid]] •
[[Krashed]] •
[[Krystle Cole]] •
[[Ku Klux Klan]] •
[[L. Ron Jeremy]] •
[[Large Hadron Collider]] •
[[Leah Remini]] •
[[Liberalism]] •
[[Libertarianism]] •
[[London Olympics]] •
[[Loose Change]] •
[[Lordelthibar]] •
[[Love Revolution]]
</div>
<noinclude>

== M-N ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent7" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[Magic]] •
[[Malaysia Airlines Flight 370]] •
[[Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17]] •
[[Martin Ssempa]] •
[[Mein Kampf]] •
[[Mescaline]] •
[[Mind control]] •
[[Montalk]] •
[[Mormon]] •
[[Muhammad Cartoons]] •
[[NOAA]] •
[[Nazi]] •
[[Nazi mysticism]] •
[[NephilimFree]] •
[[NephilimFree/Debate Sagas]] •
[[NephilimFree/Misc.Asshattery]] •
[[NephilimFree/The Anniepies Documents]] •
[[New age]] •
[[NXIVM]] •
[[Nibiru/Planet Nine|Nibiru]] •
[[Nick Xenophon]] •
[[Nietzsche]] •
[[Nihilism]] •
[[Noam Chomsky]] •
[[North American Union]] •
[[Nostradamus]] •
[[Nuclear War]]
</div>
<noinclude>

== O-P ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent8" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[Olympics]] •
[[Operation Pipe Dreams]] •
[[Operation Restoring Truthiness]] •
[[Ouija Board]] •
[[Pagan]] •
[[ParaCeleb]] •
[[Paranoid]] •
[[Pat Robertson]] •
[[Patriarchy]] •
[[Paul Ryan]] •
[[Paul the Psychic Octopus]] •
[[Peter Schiff]] •
[[Placentafag]] •
[[Polish Lollercaust]] •
[[Polish crosslol]] •
[[Politics]] •
[[PRISM]] •
[[Proof That God Exists]] •
[[Protocols of the Elders of Zion]] •
[[Psion Guild]] •
[[PsyOps]] •
[[Psychic]] •
[[Pyromania]] •
[[Princess Maydine]] •
</div>
<noinclude>

== Q-R ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent9" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[Raelism]] •
[[Randomlaughingman]] •
[[Randroid]] •
[[Religion]] •
[[Reptoid]] •
[[Richard Dawkins]] •
[[Ron Paul]] •
[[Russian Woodpecker]]
</div>
<noinclude>
== S-T ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent10" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[Satan]] •
[[Satanic Ritual Abuse]] •
[[Satanist]] •
[[Schizophrenia]] •
[[Science]] •
[[Science Apologist]] •
[[Scientology]] •
[[Scientology Speedrunning]] •
[[Sea Org]] •
[[Sherry Shriner]] •
[[Sir Isaac Newton]] •
[[Snopes]] •
[[Socialist]] •
[[Socrates]] •
[[Steal This Wiki]] •
[[Tea Party]] •
[[The Daily Dot]] •
[[The Dickriders]] •
[[The Man]] •
[[The Matrix]] •
[[The Natural Living Man]] •
[[The Rapture]] •
[[The Satanic Verses of Bhagavad-gita]] •
[[The Steganographers]] •
[[The raw food movement]] •
[[TheAmazingAtheist]] •
[[They Might be Giants]] •
[[Thunderf00t]] •
[[Time Cube]] •
[[Timeline of evolution]] •
[[Todd Akin]] •
[[Trans-Pacific Partnerhip‎]] •
[[Truther]] •
[[Truthism.com]]
</div>
<noinclude>

== U-V ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent11" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[UFO]] •
[[VampiricSpektor]] •
[[VenomFangX]] •
[[VenomFangX/Criticism]] •
[[VenomFangX/Online Drama]] •
[[Virgin Mary]]
</div>
<noinclude>

== W-X ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent12" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[WarpMyMind.com]] •
[[Weinergate]] •
[[Wellaware1.com]] •
[[Werewolves]] •
[[Wicca]] •
[[WikiLeaks]] •
[[Wikipedia is not censored]] •
[[Wikipedia's censored guide to CP laws]] •
[[Wikipedia's censored guide to nitroglycerin]] •
[[Wizard]] •
[[Worldwide Masonic Conspiracy]]
[[Xee-A Twelve]] •
[[Xenu]]
</div>
<noinclude>
== Y-Z ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent13" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[Yahweh]] •
[[Yeti]] •
[[You Stupid Relativist]] •
[[YouLoveMolly]] •
[[Zeitgeist - The Movie]] •
[[Zeitgeist Movement]] •
[[Zombie]]
</div>
<noinclude>
== # ==
</noinclude>
<div id="TruthContent14" class="morphcontent hiddentext">
[[1 Lunatic 1 Ice Pick]] •
[[25 -Year-Old Girl]] •
[[2012 Elections]] •
[[2013 US Government Shutdown]] •
[[9/11]] •
[[2024 Eclipse]]
</div>

Xenu

2026-05-14T03:30:52Z

The PolishPrince: /* See also */

{{Conspiracy}}

[[Image:South Park Xenu.jpg|thumb|right|Srsly!]]

'''Xenu''' ([[Hitler|German]]: Xemu) is fictional character invented by L.Ron Hubbard as the main bad guy in his sci-fi story that scientologists base their religion on. It is not to be confused with "Xeno" [[tracing|Which is greek for "alien."]] Xenu is supposed to be a super secret, only known to the admins, but it was leaked by South Park and L.Ron Hubbard.

==[[fact|The Xenu Story]]==

[[tl;dr|Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.

Now Xenu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.

Xenu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).

These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralyzed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.

The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "thetan" in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds he had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper).

After he had captured all these souls he had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called "implanting".

When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies.

As for Xenu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. He is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Xenu is still alive today.]]

[[tl;dr]]: <s>Xenu ruled all [[wut|76 planets]].
They were overpopulated w/[[at least 100|something]]-billion people.
He [[DO NOT WANT|didn't want]] and had developed a plan to [[Fxt|fix it]].
He got help from [[teh]] renegades to destroy [[over 9000|some]] people.
Then some psychiatrists helped and called billions of people for [[money|tax]] inspections & instead they injected them with something to paralyze them.
Then they put them in [[Snakes on a Plane|space planes]] that looked [[tracing|similar]] to DC8s.
He put them on planet [[Earth|Teegeeack]], stacked the bodies around volcanoes, put H-bombs in said volcanoes, and sploded them at the same time, thus pwning them.
BUT since all people have a "thetan"(soul), you have to trick them into [[flounce|nevar coming back again]].
So, while the "thetan" were being blasted around via nuclear wind, he had magical electric [[trap|traps]] set ([[amirite|cause everybody knows that things stick to electricity]]).
Afterwards, Xenu packed the souls in boxes and made them watch some 3D movies about how life <i>should</i> be and other crap, including fake pix of the "real" [[God]], [[Satan|devil]], & [[Raptor Jesus|Christ]].
This process is called implanting.
They then somehow got confused and stuck together since they though they were the same people and stayed that way, resulting in fewer bodies.
Xenu was eventually overthrown by the Loyal Officers and was locked on top of a mountain on a planet.
He's still alive today and is kept in by an [[unlimited disposable income|eternal battery-powered]] forcefield.
However, he recently escaped and [[Nick Xenophon|is now an Australian politician]].</s> Xenu was an asshole who got put into a rock for being Hitler.

==Sci-fags don't want you to know==

Many Scientologists, when confronted with questions about our favorite intergalactic warlord Xenu, are quick to dismiss him as a lie, and that he does not exist in their dogma. However, the products of the Xenu story -- thetans -- are not met with the same dismissal. Without Xenu murdering his space alien constituents, there would be no thetans, and thus no basis of their religion (which, from what I understand, is removing the thetans from your body). Poor Xenu.

(IOW: removing Xenu from Scientology is like removing a literal devil and a literal Adam and Eve - and therefore original sin - from Christianity. It makes the entire religion pointless, because it removes the problem that the religion purports to fix.)

It isn't known if they don't want you to know about Lord Xenu because either you haven't paid enough money yet or because they know how stupid it sounds, but Sci-fags all over the world will deny the Xenu story, especially if confronted by the recording of L.Ron Hubbard telling it.

Note, Scientology having google remove xenu.net from scientology searches: [http://www.chillingeffects.org/dmca512/notice.cgi?NoticeID=232]

When a random new-fag posed a question about Xenu on yahoo answers, [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/?qid=20060811010833AAf7erc] a sci-fag gave the typical response, not mentioning Xenu at all but was very quick to point the finger and shout "BIGOT!"

{{squote|I've visited Xenu.net and I've watched the South Park episode, and I don't think much of those who attack Scientologists. In my opinion, those who attack Scientology are not numerous, [[No|but are a very vocal bunch of anti-religious extremists]]. These people are exposed for what they are on Religious Freedom Watch. And yes, Religious Freedom Watch is run by Scientologists but who else do you expect to be most concerned with anti-Scientology bigotry?

Scientology is about doing good. Scientologists are responsible for numerous social betterment activities. I've seen in many of your posts you attack Scientologists for not visiting your links. I have visited your links. But have you visited any Scientology links? Websites like Scientology.org, What is Scientology or Scientology Religion? Have you ever been to the websites of Scientology's social betterment organizations: Narconon's website? Criminon? The Way to Happiness Foundation? Applied Scholastics? Youth for Human Rights? Have you read any Scientology books like "New Slant on Life," "Dianetics," or "The Problems of Work"? I think you could learn something. But what I wonder is if you just want to bash other people's religions.

And as far as my posts about mental health, there are many experts including psychiatrists and medical doctors and people from all religious faiths who are concerned about psychiatric abuse and who advocate more [[Alternative Medicine|holistic alternatives]]. I actually exercise and take vitamins myself for anxiety and depression, so my advice comes from personal experience and my research.

Why don't you learn about Scientology from Scientology sources instead of "anti" websites? Why don't you go to your local org and talk to some people. [[lie|Scientologists are human beings you know.]]|[[TL;DR]] BAWWWW you 4CHAN peoples suck cos you dont's know anything about us except on you H8TERS sites!!}}

Well, this editor WENT to Scientology.org, and he found that it boils down to the following message: BUY MY SHIT, BITCHES!!!11!!1

This information came at the cost of roughly one minute of the editor's life; he is currently suing the Church to make them give it back for all that bullshit.

==Origin of Xenu==
Xenu (as Xemu) first appeared in 1962 in Marvel Comic's Strange Tales Vol. 1 #103 as the evil prime minister of the fifth dimension, against the [[Pyro|Human Torch]]. L. Ron Hubbard, Who we can only assume [[Gay|loved]] the Human Torch, gave him a promotion to Overlord of the galaxy and Plagiarized the character to star in his [[bullshit|"Space epic"]], in 1967. And of course would become the equivalent of Satan in his church.

==Gallery of Xenu==

{{cg|All Hail [[Tom Cruise|Lord Xenu]]|Xenugallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Finding xenu-small.jpg
Image:Flyer2b4cv.jpg
Image:Free xenu.jpg
Image:Xenutinfoilhat.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Xenu981205072.gif
Image:Xenu panorama.jpg|Xenu, as depicted in the ''Panorama'' TV series.
Image:Xenu-minton-cover250.jpg
Image:Xenusp.jpg|''[[South Park]]'' version of Xenu.
Image:781934623 1050f5708d o.gif
Image:RodcetNife.jpg|As seen in ''[[EverQuest II]]'', as a healer god.
File:Xenu and goaty.jpg
File:ALEXA-XENU-COS.jpg
File:AlexaXenuVCos.JPG
File:Alexa2.png
File:Alexagraph.png
File:Alexagraph7.png
</gallery>}}

==See also==
*[[Darth Vader]]
*[[Project Chanology]]
*[[Scientology Speedrunning]]
*[[Tom Cruise]]

==External links==

*{{archive|LEEXg|L.Ron Hubbard explains Xenu}}
*[http://xenu.net/|Informative Xenu site]
*[http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Xemu_(Earth-616)|Proof of origin]

{{Scientology}}
{{truth}}
{{stub}}
{{crap}}

TikTok

2026-05-14T03:29:34Z

The PolishPrince: /* See also */

{{天|This page was written by a bunch of [[Baby Boomers]].<br>
You can help by waiting for when they all fucking die. |Old-man-at-computer.jpg|200px|Red|50%}}

{{Achtung|IT GOT [[Party Hard|UNBANNED]], PARTY'S OVER EVERYONE}}
[[File:TikTok.gif|245px|thumb|Stimulate much?]]

'''TikTok''', '''ShitTok''', or in [[China]] known as '''Douyin''' (程冲) is a successful experiment to create the most ungodly and contagious digital virus in history. It was crafted by the Chinese corporation ''ByteDance'' in [[2016]] with leverage after [[Vine]] shutdown, and later from their [[Covid-19]], when they began merging their [[Pokemon]] with [[Musical.ly]] to create its final form — unleashing a short-form video pandemic, infecting platforms [[YouTube]], [[Instagram]], [[Netflix]], [[porn|XVideos]] and even [[Spotify]]...

:''TL;DR: TikTok is a virus camouflaged as an app, created by the Chinese to gain world domination. And Covid-19 was created as a side for it. TRUST ME.''

==History==
[[File:TikTok is cancer.jpg|240px|right]]

In September [[2016]], ByteDance created an app called "A.me", which later became known as "Douyin". After its launch, [[no one|literally no one]] in China wanted to use that app, until they paid [[azn|Asian]] celebrities to use it a year after. Meanwhile [[Musical.ly]] died out, so ByteDance purchased that app for $1 billion and merged "Flipagram" into one app, thus TikTok was born. It was also previously owned by [[Facebook]], but who cares?

As it was merged with Musical.ly, millions of users using the app would be lip-syncing, dancing, and creating low quality content 24/7, somehow almost skyrocketing to the top of the list of social media apps. [[YouTube]], [[Instagram]], [[Snapchat]] and others among its rivals would later copy TikTok's short form video style as a feature to their own apps in order to survive the era of short-form attention span.

In [[2020]], China's classic [[COVID-19]] was spread across the world. This lead everyone into widespread [[boredom]] stuck within their homes, using TikTok because of that spike in popularity. ByteDance has became an even more rich and successful company, collecting shekels of ad revenue and selling user data among the Chinese government to this day.

In [[2024]], the [[Joe Biden]] administration, amid gradually rising national security concerns, passed a law that will [[ban]] TikTok by January of the next year lest ByteDance sells it to an American company because our own companies are the only ones who should be able to have access to our data. 'Murica! Fortunately, Lord [[Donald Trump]] has opposed the ban, urging lawmakers not to fanum tax TikTok so that the skibidi sigmas of [[United States|Greater Ohio]] may be free to lowkey rizz bro's gyatt at the function.

It was temporarily (read: not even a full fucking day) banned in the US, but Trump has passed a law overriding the ban, ensuring that we continue to have our data and mind gratuitously stolen from us for years to come. now

==Using TikTok==

[[File:Legoshi-1.mp4|thumb|right|[[Furries|Beastars]] degeneracy on the tok tik]]

You may be asking, “How the fuck does one use TikTok?” Well, it's quite simple. All you need is a smartphone or a web browser, then you can feast on an AIDS all you can eat. If you want to create some AIDS, follow these steps:

#Film yourself being as retarded as possible.
#Put a shit song/sound, and text to speech
#???
#PROFIT!

If your TikTok is viral enough, you may start a TikTok challenge or trend, where millions of people will be sucked into a varient of the TikTok virus.

You can also create [[Two Girls One Finger|"duets"]] to be somehow even less original, just by copying someone else's "work" and for attention. You can also [[Reaction face|"react"]] to someone else by talking over a video unnecessarily, and gain more attention.

==Types of Content==
[[File:Reddit on TikTok.gif|230px|right]]

*Loud text-to-speech captions over recordings about someones ignorant opinions/jokes, causing [[SJW|clueless protests]], [[prank|trends]], and [[delusional|ideologies]].
*Split-screen overstimulation videos made of multiple other videos. Almost always a [[Family Guy Funny Moments|Family Guy clip]], with mobile games like Subway Surfers, and/or "oddly satisfying" clip. The other type is the [[Reddit]] post above a [[Minecraft]] parkour gameplay.
*Lipsyncing, nowadays you don't even have to do any [[trying too hard|movements]] any more.
*[[Retard]]ed person being exploited for views (by a parent or friend). More often than not it's fake and acted out.
*The mentally ill 1% searching for their own unworthy gratification/equality.
*Scenes cut from a [[movie]] or [[TV Shows|series]] with gigantic captions slapped ontop. Especially an adult [[cartoon]] TV series like [[Family Guy]], [[South Park]], and shows provided by [[Adult Swim]].
*Move your body spastically around and make it a [[dance]] move.
*Pretending to be something you're not for [[worthless|attention]].
*Women with ridiculously large [[breast]]s and [[butt]]s that twirk or "accidently" show a sexualized body part, all for 13-year-old [[simp]]s.
*Posts staring at the screen, it will get millions of views.
*[[Minion AI Gore Videos|Posts of shock videos with a minion filter over them.]]

TikTok also has many communities, they are categorised and found through the tags on their videos. They tend to be named "X"-Tok like "BookTok", "PetTok", "FaggoTok", etc.

==Userbase==
These are the most common types of users you will find on TikTok.

#[[SJW]]s
#[[attention whores]]
#[[12]] [[13|–]] [[16 year old]] girls/boys
#[[Whore|whores]]/[[bitch]]es
#[[douche]]s
#[[e-girls and e-boys]]
#[[Girl gamer]]
#[[faggot]]s and [[furries]]
#[[virgin]]s and [[weeb]]s
#[[you|losers]]/[[you|retard]]s

==See also==
*[[Virus]]
*[[Snapchat]]
*[[ADHD]] and [[ASD]]
*[[Vine]]
*[[Chromebook Challange]]
*[[Scientology Speedrunning]]
*[[Twitter]]
*[[Mia Janin]]
*[[Musical.ly]]
*[[Instagram]]
*[[China]]
*[[Drama]] - and also this one.

{{azn}}
{{Qing}}
{{Social Media}}
[[Category:TikTok]]

{{timeline|Featured article August 29 & 30, [[2023]]|[[Donald Drumpf]]|[[TikTok]]|[[Breaking Bad]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article January 11 & 12, [[2025]]|[[California]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Ethan Ralph]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article January 23 & 24, [[2025]]|[[Nuclear War]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Total Nigger Death]]}}

Storm Area 51

2026-05-14T03:28:59Z

The PolishPrince: /* See Also */

{{quote|We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry. If we Naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens.|Matty Roberts}}
[[File:Area 51 Raid 2019.jpg|thumb]]
[[File:Storm_Area_51_Facebook_post.jpg|thumb]]
[[File:Area 51 stratagem.jpg|thumb]]
[[File:ALIEN PORN.png|thumb|They have their priorities straight]]
On September 20, [[2019]], [[Area 51]] came under siege by an army of the [[autists|internet's most fearsome warriors]]. '''Storm Area 51''' was an epic [[IRL]] [[raid|operation]] engaged in primarily by [[weebs]] and [[hipsters]] with the intent to [[zerg rush]] the [[United States]]' most covert and secretive military base in order to save their [[alien]] captives and [[Xenophilia|clap their cheeks]]. The event was first alluded to on [[Facebook]] by a [[Narutard]] named '''Matty Roberts''', which remains one of the only good things to come out of Facebook other than the [[Christchurch Mosque Massacre]]. The event seemingly became a viral [[meme]] overnight and received [[over 9000|2 million]] [[Internet petition|pledges of attendance]]. The [[military]] and the [[old media]], unlearned in the art of [[shitposting]], mistook these memes' notoriety as [[serious business]] and a legitimate potential threat. On the day that be however, hordes of Naruto sprinters were unfortunately not gunned down and only [[about 100|about 150]] people showed up to the front gates of Area 51 and only one of them attempted to enter the facility for which she received a warning.

==Preluding==
Counting up to the day of the raid, an estimated one thousand and a half people camped out in the vicinity in addition to the aforementioned 150 who showed up to the gates, which is a higher number of people than there are residents in the two nearby cities combined. Needless to say, there wasn't enough accommodations for everyone, let alone 2 million. Stormers took these additional days to practice their Naruto sprinting, [[cosplay]] in dollarbin alien costumes and proliferate a dead meme. Two music festivals were set up to coincide with the event, including Alienstock and Storm Area 51 Basecamp respectively. They were both super lame and gay.

==Videos==
<center>
{{Frame|
{{fv| |background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>1XmCy9VSy9o</youtube><br>'''Brilliant stratagems being displayed in preparation to the raid.'''
|<youtube>Dhfx0bR7Zx4</youtube><br>'''Naruto runner caught in crosshairs of News footage.'''
|<youtube>WTQ7nGGWwt8</youtube><br>'''[[Fox News]] warning the plebians about the raid.'''
|<youtube>36enK0Qslfc</youtube><br>'''The guy who started this shit fears what he created.'''
|<youtube>vU2eqv_QYLA</youtube>
|<youtube>uJP3TV_XZLw</youtube><br>'''An infiltration guide to Area 51.'''
|<youtube>LObY2kHVb_U</youtube><br>'''Storm Area 51 battle song'''
|<youtube>gkjRliDvONo</youtube><br>'''Local prostitute opportunizes on the occasion.'''
|<youtube>2ejEDvzH-Vg</youtube>
|<youtube>HcgYcg-1OWo</youtube>
}}
|border=white|background=white}}

{{Frame|
{{fv| |background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>Yx4osljrMkA</youtube><br>'''Lore accurate recreation of the event'''
|<youtube>nSkjOJAn9Ng</youtube>
}}
|border=white|background=white}}
</center>

==See Also==
*[[All Your Base Are Belong To Us]]
*[[Ayyy lmao]]
*[[David Icke]]
*[[Illuminati]]
*[[Scientology Speedrunning]]
*[[Xenophilia]]

==External Links==
*{{wikilink|Storm_Area_51|TOW coverage}}
*{{KYM|memes/storm-area-51|KYM coverage}}

{{portals|memes|truth}}
{{Epic}}
[[category:Events]]
[[category:IRL Shit]]
[[category:operations]]
[[category:2019]]

Scientology

2026-05-14T03:28:20Z

The PolishPrince: /* See Also */

{{DISPLAYTITLE:$cientology}}
[[Image:Scnpack.jpg|frame|center|[http://scientology.on.nimp.org '''Are YOU a Scientologist? If so, please click here.''']]]
<br>
[[Image:Mormoncrazy.jpg|link=|center]]
<br>

[[Image:What_scientologists_believe.jpg|thumb|Yup. And what are you fucking gunna do about it?]]
[[Image:23r23.gif|thumb|This guy fuckin' rules!!]]
[[Image:Dianetics1.jpg|thumb|Original authors copy; before changing name to 'Dianetics']]
[[Image:Ibecameagod.jpg|thumb|Hubbard as a child]]
[[Image:Crowhub1.gif|thumb|right|Hubbard was into Aleister Crowley cosplay]]
[[Image:DONOTWANTLRON.jpg|thumb|Fixt.]]
[[Image:Lolcos.jpg|thumb|The only true statement on [[Wikipedia]].]]
<br>
'''Scientology''' is what happens if you have the History Channel make a [[religion]]. That is, worshipping ANCIENT FUCKING ALIENS. [[Srsly|SERIOUSLY]] I'M NOT KIDDING.

It is a super rich cult founded by science-fiction writer and supreme [[asspie]], [[L. Ron Hubbard]] and it is dedicated to their <s>mighty alien overlord [[Xenu]]</s> super secret leader, and almost every batshit celebrity in [[Hollywood]] gives up countless amounts of their cash to learn all the [[Lol Wut?|magic spells]] the aliens have to offer and earn the front seats on the mothership. This is not a joke, this is what it actually is.

== What is Scientology? ==
Scientology is said to be the religion of the modern intellectual, discovered by the acclaimed [[genius|scientist]] and [[vegetarian|humanitarian]] L. Ron Hubbard during one of his expeditions to Venus, but in reality [[Schizophrenia|Scientology]] is a science fiction mindbelch cobbled together from [[Christianity|delusional psychosis]] and rubbish by insane mouth-breather [[Deep_thinker|L. Ron Hubbard]], who delved the darkest depths of [[IRL|reality]] and discovered that [[Mind_control|Darth Vader is in league with the Klingons and Aleister Crowley]]. As the [[Bullshit|arcane secrets]] Mr. Hubbard unearthed shake great pillars of humanity, Scientology has been organized as a graduated religion whereby, in exchange for money (which is worthless, anyway), initiates are incrementally exposed to ever more powerful [[magic|spells and magical items]]. Though it has never happened, it is widely believed that a Level Eighty [[Retard|Scientologist]] could unthink the universe.

While initially a slow ball to start rolling, Scientology saw an [[Police|explosion of interest]] throughout the western world during the nineteen-sixties and seventies, and Mr. Hubbard’s [[Toilet|empire]] rose as he marshalled his forces from the Good Ship Phencyclidine, an interstellar spacecraft cleverly disguised as an oceangoing vessel. Though [[Funny|tragically]] struck down by [[Drugs|enemy forces]] in 1986, the prophetic legacy of Hubbard’s years aboard GS PCP remains in [[Shit|posterity]], as does the ship itself, now in orbit of [[Batshit|Batshit Seven]], a [[Chan|chan-mining]] colony in the [[Space|Fucktard Cluster]].

One may consider this commentary an entirely [[Awesome|spurious]] knock against freedom of religion, but this can be possible only if one is unfamiliar with the tenets of Scientology, one is [[You|staggeringly stupid]] or, if the latter, one is a [[Idiot|Scientologist]]. Assuming the first case, one should be aware that the essential premise of Scientology is that we are all actually [[Aliens|extra-terrestrials]], and also [[Banned#Banned_IRL|dead]].

==Beliefs and Practices==

===OTIII - Xenu===
<br>
[[Image:Do not read OT 3 unprepared.jpg|thumb|According to Scientology, you might die if you learn about Xenu without having been [[brainwashing|brainwashed]] beforehand.]]

OT III Scientologists are finally [[brainwashing|brainwashed]] enough to learn the tale of Xenu. Xenu, the galactic tyrant, was appalled, shocked, sickened, and finally just fed up with the populations of many planets in his galaxy. However, [[Budd Dwyer|he had a clever plan]]. With the aid of evil faggoty [[Psychiatrists]], Xenu drugged and froze hundreds of billions of his citizens for interstellar transport. Xenu ordered the frozen alien bodies to be taken to Earth: [[WTF|thrown into one little fight and my mom got scared, and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air. ]]

[[Image:dollar.jpg|thumb|left|God, according to Scientology]]

The cost of reaching OT III is only $360,000. Central to the OTIII mythology is alien past lives, such as being "[[LOL_WUT|deceived into a love affair with a robot decked out as a beautiful red-haired girl]]", being run over by a Martian bishop driving a [[steamloller|steamroller]], being transformed into an intergalactic walrus which perished after falling out of a flying saucer, and being "a very happy being who strayed to the planet Nostra 23,064,000,000 years ago". All of this was on [[TOW|Wikipedia]], so it is guaranteed to be the absolute [[truth]]. Protip: if you want access to the stuff contained in the other OT degrees look into something called "Avatar", a group sued by Hubbard for copyright infringement. But don't take their courses; Despite their status as not-a-batshit-cult, they are still rather expensive. Instead, buy the book. Better yet, find everything from the Co$ available on the internet at [http://www.clambake.org The Good Old Clambake]
{{clear}}

<center><youtube>tT1UjCQTL0I</youtube><br>Children explain the true story of Xenu<br>''Music: The Fabulous Entourage -- "The Way It Began"''</center><br><br>

===Their term "preclear"===
[[Image:Hubbard Needs Money.jpg|thumb|L Ron and Xenu campaigning for your $$$ EPIC FAIL!]]
Scientology calls everyone who isn't crazy enough to be a Scifag a "preclear", which basically means the church doesn't have any of their money yet. Scientology claims the way to be come "[[insane|clear]]" is to remove [[money|engrams]] (emotional trauma) from their [[vagoo|mind]] using [[rape|an e-meter]], answering lots of [[shit_nobody_cares_about|personal questions]] (which is secretly recorded so the church can blackmail someone if they try to leave), and paying tons and tons of money out the ass. They call this process [[Restimulation]], in order to get people to actually give them the money they covet and jerk off with. Scientology claims that when someone is completely "clear" of [[money|engrams]] they have [[Wikipedia:Clear_%28Scientology%29#Steps_after_Clear|godlike powers]] with [[Over_9000|significant]] power levels.

===E-Meter Auditing===
[[Image:Yesonatomato.jpg|thumb|L Ron demonstrates proper use of the E-meter on the average scientologist]]
Scientologists use a [[fail|rudimentary]] galvanometer called an E-meter in many aspects of their <s>religion</s> <s>cult</s> criminal scam; [[tl;dr|everything from confession sessions, called "auditing", to auto-erotic asphyxiation. An E-meter acts like a shitty lie detector, shitty in the sense that it doesn't actually ''do'' anything. The useless device only emits half a volt of electricity and it takes 12 volts to even penetrate your skin. So, basically, it's a box with a needle that moves back and forth at random. When an auditor asks questions to the "pre-clear" and the needle moves, they say that the little alien in their brain is making up lies for them to recite about their non-existent pre-birth past. Since no one actually knows what happened before their birth, "pre-clears" must learn to lie to themselves. If they can do this, auditors say they have become closer to becoming "operating thetans" (OT), and can better digest the bullshit that some child molester wrote about in his books, such as Xenu and past lives on another planet.]] In effect, it's just [[brainwashing]] aided by a fake lie detector.

===A-Meter Auditing===

A beloved favorite of [[L. Ron Hubbard]], the astronomically magical A-meter audit is administered through the use of a telescope in the ass. As the lens takes focus, Saturn and her magic rings should be fully visible and if she is spotted, the testee is eligible for a $50,000 membership. This method is widely used and revered by Scientological experts worldwide as a sure fire method of catching [[AIDS]]. According to recent statistics, the fail rate for the A-Meter is 1 in every 10 billion.

===R2-45 Auditing===
An R2-45 audit is an auditing method only to be used in extreme situations. This is accomplished with the use of a [[gun|Colt .45]]. Called "an enormously effective process" by Hubbard, the goal is to completely and permanently [[death|exteriorize a person's thetan]]. Hubbard explains: "[it] is not the same as clearing but there is, remember, R2-45. It's a very valid technique. A lot of people have used it before now." Usually used only in secret, as "its use is frowned upon by society at this time," there have been a few public cases of R2-45 auditing, as well as a number of Scientologists who audited themselves with the technique, becoming [[an hero]]es. Another now public case is from 1968 when Hubbard, upon discovering a group of [[SP]]s in the church, "the Enemies of mankind, the planet and all life," decided to [[ban fucking everyone]], ordering "any Sea Org member contacting any of them is to [[murder|use Auditing Process R2-45]]."[http://www.xenu-directory.net/practices/r2-45.html]

===Child Rape===
{{facts}}
[[Image:Cultofgreed.jpg|thumb|250px|An excellent ''[[Time Magazine]]'' cover from 1991, causing lots of BAAAAAAW from scifags Note: This cover is fucking real]]
This is an excerpt from one of the secret documents that [[Anonymous]] acquired, and it shows how [[batshit insane]] Scientologist moms are:

{{squote|If you want to control your child, simply break him into complete apathy and he'll be as obedient as any [[Fucktard|hypnotized half-wit]]. If you want to know how to control him, get a book on dog training, name the child [[Raptor Jesus|Rex]] and teach him first to "fetch" and then to "sit up" and then to bark for his food. You can train a child that way. Sure you can. But it's your hard luck if he turns out to be a blood-letter. Only don't be half-hearted about it. Simply [[Rape|TRAIN]] him. "Speak, Roger!" "Lie down!" "Roll over!" Of course, you'll have a hard time of it. This - a slight oversight - is a human being. You'd better charge right in and do what you can to break him into apathy quickly. A club is best. Tying him in a closet without food for a few days is fairly successful. The best recommended tactic, however, is simply to use a straight jacket and muffs on him until he is [[Retard|docile and imbecilic]]. I'm warning you that it's going to be tough; it will be tough because Man became king of the [[Furries|beasts]] only because he couldn't as a species be licked. He doesn't easily go into an obedient apathy like dogs do. Men own dogs because men are self-determined and dogs aren't.|Official church documents}}
'''[[TL;DR]]''': another reason to [[buy a dog]].

[[Image:hubbard.jpg|thumb|left|Anyone need a messiah?]]

===[[Child Abuse|Pwning N00bs]]===
[[Image:Scientology kids.jpg|thumb|A [[13-year-old boy]] and a 15 or [[16-year-old girl]] start their full work day at [[Scientology]], Melbourne. They could be your boss. This is normal.]]
[[retards|Scientologists]] believe that newborn [[babbies]] should be wrapped up in cloth and put aside for a week, immediately after they are born, in a practice called "silent birth". According to L Ron, [[stupid|the newly born shouldn't hear anyone talk, be touched, or otherwise tampered with, or else their thetans might get fucked up]], or something. Anyway, this has generated [[drama|controversy]] as state governments and hospitals usually like to do blood tests and other medical type stuff to make sure that the babby doesn't die. Furthermore, Hubbard recommended that babbies should not be breast fed and, instead, prescribed a baby formula derived from barley water, cow's milk (causes malnutrition + [[tubgirl|diarrhea]]), and honey (honey gives children under 2 [[AIDS|botulism]]). Despite countless cases of sick and malnourished infants, [[retards|Scientologist parents]] are still forced to go through with this shit by the church, just like everything else in their lives. What wankers.

===Space Clams===
[[Image:AllhailXenuclams.jpg|thumb|According to $cientology, mankind evolved from this actual space clam.]]
Scientologists believe in [[evolution]], unlike [[Christianity|other religions]]!

However, their version of evolution isn't based on anything scientific; it is therefore complete [[bullshit]]. Your first clue should be that Hubbard came up with it. As a loving father, L. Ron was known to feed his young son Nibs fists full of drugs and ask him questions about past lives on other planets to get material for his books. During one particular session, LRH kept feeding his son [[drugs|amphetamines]] to the point where Nibs imagined that he was a clam on some distant planet in a past life. He used these experiments for the basis of his theory of evolution in ''The Descent of Man'', ie. [[LOL WUT|the 'Weeper/Boohoo']], [[cunt|the clam]], etc. Hubbard also thought that human evolution began with the species Piltdown Man, which was later proved to be a hoax fossil specimen.

[[Image:Scientology psychiatry kills.jpg|thumb|Because Scientology has obviously [[lie|never killed anyone.]]]]

===Halloween Time===
Rather than trick-or-treating during Halloween night, Scientologists go to the pumpkin patch down the street and wait for The Great Pumpkin to rise and give presents to all of their brainwashed children. Every morning of November 1st, The Church Of Scientology loses lots of their members for an odd reason.

===Hatred for Psychiatry===
L. Ron was a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. When he was made aware of his mental state, he begged the Veteran's Administration for treatment. When this request was denied, and L. Ron's insanity worsened, he developed a hatred for [[Psychiatry]] equal to how much [[Hitler]] hated the Jews. It is a well known fact that $cientologists are trained to hate psychiatry/psychology, because the [[Psychiatrists|shrinks]] are the ONLY people who can help them.

L. Ron once said "A psychiatrist today has the power to (1) [[PUA|take a fancy to a woman]] (2) lead her to take wild treatment as a joke (3) drug and shock her to temporary insanity (4) incarnate [sic] her (5) use her sexually (6) sterilize her to prevent conception (7) kill her by a brain operation to prevent disclosure. And all with no fear of reprisal. Yet it is rape and murder ... We want at least one bad mark on every psychiatrist in England, a murder, an assault, or a rape or more than one ... This is Project Psychiatry. We will remove them" [[sarcasm|Yeah, that's not totally batshit fucking crazy.]]
<center><br>Very disturbing video showing Scientology propaganda/[[brainwashing]]<br><youtube>nqMeMOUzdZs</youtube></center>

In short, $cientologists hate psychiatrists because the "psychs", as they like to call them, can smell bullshit.

===Free Zone Scientology===
<br>
Like all religions, Scientology has followers who still believe the crazy shit, but feel the church is a corrupt and evil entity. (FYI: a [[shit|clever]] ploy by religi-fags to make you forget that they believe crazy shit). The [http://www.freezoneearth.org|Free Zones] are multiple groups of unaffiliated practitioners of Scientology who are independent of the [[Church of Scientology]]. They are hated and often sued for copyright infringement by the Co$; they in turn believe that the Co$ has become [[Irony|corrupted]]. They are $cientology's version of Protestants.
<br><br><br>

===Scientology Symbolism Explained===
<br>
<center>
<youtube>1xW0PDWqeh4</youtube><br>
Epic Lulz about the Scientology Triangle Symbol<br><br>

<youtube>vxtZuPNU1wY</youtube><br>
Epic Lulz about the Scientology Pyramid Symbol<br><br>
</center>

== The History of Scientology ==
[[Image:OT_III_manuscript.gif|right|thumb|Reader's Digest version, [http://www.bringyou.to/apologetics/xenu.htm in the man's handwriting].]]
[[Image:Thehistoryofscientology.gif|center]]
==CST; the 2 Circles of $cientology==
*[http://www.lermanet.com/CST/index.htm Idex Dox on CST]
*[http://archive.is/eE96 1994 article on N Mexico vault]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20080321101204/http://www.religionisfree.org/wiki/index.php/Gold_Base Gold Base info]
*[http://cryptome.org/eyeball/cst-bunker/cst-bunker.htm Termentina base aka Gold Base Pics]

==Members==
===Church officials===
[[Image:Sciscisci.jpg|thumb|right|Scientology President David [[Miscarriage|Miscavige]] addressing capacity audience of devoted Scientology followers]]
* [[L. Ron Hubbard]] (<s>[http://lronhubbard.ytmnd.com/ willfully discarded his own body in 1986, but he did not die and still exists]</s>) He Dead.
* [[Mary Sue]] Hubbard (deceased 2002)
* '''[[David Miscavige]]''' (holy shit, this guy is completely fucking insane!)
* [[Tom Cruise]] (rumored to be Miscavige's [[shit|number 2]] man, thinks he's Scifag [[Jesus]]) Tom has ordered at least 12 people to be murdered by Church covert operatives, (including FBI agents) to prevent them from exposing his involvement in Scientology's violent criminal activities. And in Satanism.
* [[Mark Rathbun]] ([[Murder|M.I.A.]], removed from church web pages September 2005)
* Heber Jentzsch (Gay, removed from church web pages September 2007)
* Leisa Goodman (Scientology International Human Rights Director, may or may not know about Xenu).
* Stan Marsh (toted as L. Ron Hubbard reborn. Kicked out for admitting Scientology is fake)
* Ronnie Miscavige, who for a time was also in the Sea Organization but who is now in the real estate business as Managing Broker of the Williamsburg Virginia office of Long & Foster Real Estate [http://ronmiscavige.lnfre.com/falcon/webui/lnfwelcomepage.aspx], and left the Church of Scientology in 2000.

===Sea Org[y] (A.K.A. Sea Ogres)===
[[Image:DMandSO.jpg|thumb|Scientology Chairman Of The Board David Miscavige and the Sea Org(res)]]
If you are completely and fully suckered in, you can join an [[1337|elite]] sector of Scientologists called the Sea Org, which stands for "Sea Organization of Faggotry". This arm of the "Church" was dreamed up by Hubbard in the mid-60's because he was (a) really drunk/doped out of his mind most of the time, (b) because he felt [[butthurt]] by the real U.S. Navy, who refused to give him ill-gotten glory and fame, so he made a toy navy of some real piece of shit ships, and (c) he was a wanted criminal in at least 100 countries, and international waters was the only place he could go without risking arrest. Likely a combination of all of the above.

When you join the Sea Org, you must sign a contract that binds you to the Scientology religion, the Sea Org and L. Ron Hubbard for a ''billion'' years, pledging to "come back" in all your reincarnations to serve him for that time. In exchange you get some really nifty things... You get about $16 a week in pay, your personal I.D. taken from you and locked away so you can't [[GTFO|jump ship]], you get to do demeaning and degrading physical labor, and you give the Church tacit permission to put you in the "RPF" (Rehabilitation Project Force) which is a punishment gulag that will make you beg, whine, and plead like a little bitch for that degrading regular labor back. You may even find yourself locked in a ship's chain locker if at sea, or in the basement of the Ft. Harrison Hotel with all that healthy asbestos. The RPF makes Gitmo Bay look like Club Med. But wait, there is more to this story.

Dipshits who join this group suffer from low self esteem and being bitches of David Miscavage; they have always wanted to be beaten into submission, gang fucked, and used as cum dumpsters in general, but unfortunately for them life in the Sea Org does not include anything that pleasant!

In an interesting side note, while the crew of the Sea Orgres were sweating and toiling at sea on the Apollo (Hubbard's Sea Orgre flagship), Hubbard surrounded himself with blonde [[16 year old girl]]s in hot pants and halter tops. He dubbed this group the "Commodore's Messenger Organization" - or CMO for short - because running Scientology was [[The_Internet_is_serious_business|serious fucking business]], and he was totally [[not gay]].

Sadly for him (thankfully for us), he was also [[fail|impotent]]. The 16 year old girls beat the fuck out of L. Ron Hubbard so bad that his power level went well below 9000. Some postulate that the 16 year old girls simply had a power well over 9000.

===Commodore Hubbard and his Fantastic Asbestos Navy===

In a lulzworthy recent event, the Freewinds, fappy fantastic flagship of Hubbard's fecal flotilla of freaks (try saying that ten times fast), has been apprehended and put in quarantine. Apparently, it was chock full of motherfucking blue asbestos - the most rare and lethal kind. Anonymous has since christened the ship the S.S. FAILBOAT and made demands for "moar asbestos!" An incredulous Tom Cruise was heartbroken by the news, as this development shattered his dream of cruising international waters to pick [[dolphinsex|dolphins]] up for nights of non-stop bestiality.

With no luxury cruise liner to operate out of, the antics of the Sea Org have been drydocked. If, however, they choose to leave the church to seek another luxury liner, the Co$ will bitchslap them with their [[Greed|"Freeloader's Bill"]] (the pimp hand of $cientology is strong). This will drive these [[Fags|upstanding and honest]] men into poverty faster than you can say "Titanic."

===List of Scientologist celebrities===
[[Image:Jesustom.jpg|thumb|Tom Cruise, the greatest Scientologist to ever live.]]
[[Image:Cultfiction.jpg|thumb|Another not-gay Scientologist? Whodathunkit?]]
[[Image:Foley_scientology.jpg|thumb|Yet another gay is cured by Scientology ie:[[Mark Foley]] ]]

* [[Tom Cruise]], <s>barely</s> bisexual uber-actor. (Ask him about Aleister Crowley, or the Cloak of Darkness.)
* [[Kirstie Alley]], fat, every 90 days.
* [[Beck]], musician, raised Scientologist (easily confused, has no clue what Scientology really is, no real threat to Anon because <s>he doesn't seem to give a shit</s> [[WTF|he doesn't use the internet.]])
* Sonny Bono, mind permanently vaporized by the '70s, which is why he ran into a tree!
* Chick Corea, shit jazz musician and allegedly OT VIII!
* Jenna Elfman, the crazy [[bitch]] who accused a critic of being a "baby raper" and who bequeathed us this nugget of wisdom: "[[AIDS]] is a state of mind, not a disease."
* Errol Flynn, actor who assisted Hubbard with gold and cocaine [http://archive.is/ZR5i smuggling]
* Doug E. Fresh, <strike>[[crap]]tastic</strike> crap-hop musician.
* <s>Paul Haggis, director of Crash.</s> Escaped [[last Thursday]].
* Marc Anthony, singer, Skeletor.
* <s>Leah Remini, King of Queens.</s> Left earlier in July 2013. After three decades, she split when she started [http://www.businessinsider.com/leah-remini-talks-scientology-split-2013-7 questioning its controversial leader], David Miscavige. Has a [[erection|hard on]] to be $Scientology's version of Martin Luther and is only against $cientology because of Miscavige, many fans suggest she will rejoin when he leaves. Has quieted down recently (2017) since her whole attack against $cientology got her what she wanted from them, a new reality show.
* Van Conner, former bass guitarist of [[Grunge|Screaming Trees]]
* Isaac Hayes, <s>former [[South Park|chef]] and alleged [[nigra]]</s> [http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/10/hayes.obit/index.html?eref=rss_topstories deceased]. Good night, sweet prince.
* <s>Jason Lee, actor. (Ask him about Xenu and he might try to make you disappear and/or skateboard.)</s> No longer practices since [[last Thursday]].
* Juliette Lewis, "actress" and "musician".
*[[Charles Manson]]. Really. (However, he left the church after dismissing it as "too crazy"[http://www.cracked.com/article_14932_the-top-10-secret-celebrity-scientologists_p10.html hyyyyyyyyyyyperlink]) Two Scientologists lived in a little shack on a hill above the Manson Family; Manson was convinced that they were attacking him with destructive telepathic signals . Read "The Family" by Ed Sanders. He also kept an e-meter at his "family's" ranch, likely for fucking as shown on [[b/|/b/]].
* Bart Simpson, the voice of Nancy Cartwright, makes some {{ytlink|IwuP307kwg0|prank calls}}.
* Christopher Masterson, actor.
* [[Danny Masterson]], actor, DJ, wanna-be Cokehead (if you troll him on [[MySpace]] he might [[BAWWW|freak out]].)
* [[John Travolta]], known homosexual pilot/actor. If you bump the average score of ''Battlefield Earth'' on IMDB.com, Travolta might land his blimp or five airplanes at your house. He is also afraid to leave the church after his son died due to possible [http://archive.is/DenuK blackmail].
* [[Greta Van Susteren]], host of On the Record with Greta Van Susteren on [[Fox News]]
* [[Drugs|William S. Burroughs]] [http://archive.is/CpUP] Hippie faggot, author, and [[My Little Pony|Beat Generation]] icon. Most famous for playing William Tell and shooting his wife in the face with a .45 on a bet after getting high on [[heroin]]([http://www.suburbia.net/~fun/scn/etc/wsb3.html later denounced Scientology]) most likely because of it's claimed rules against drugs. Seriously, this guy was so hard core when it came to [[heroin]] he made Courtney Love and Sid Vicious look like amateurs.
* Corin Nemec, actor who played superintelligent, temporarily precognitive alien "Jonas Quinn" on Stargate SG-1. Wonder if he ever got any of those kind of OT III supapowaz IRL!?
* Van Morrison, singer, songwriter (renounced Scientology in the 1980s)
* David Nelson (musician), [http://archive.is/6z9U1], musician.
* Lou Rawls, singer [[Music|You'll never find]]
* Giovanni Ribisi, actor
* Kate Cebrano, shit [[Australia]]n former cover band singer who won the Australian version of "''Dancing With the Stars''". Fat old has-been whore ([http://archive.is/jLBBz Narconon Australia endorsement] [http://www.flickr.com/photos/23637238@N03/sets/72157603944260621/ her donations were used to buy this dump to be the new 'Ideal Org' in Melbourne]).'''Narconon propaganda found in Melbourne Uni! Studyfags - keep an eye out!'''
* <s>[[Christopher Reeve]]</s>: actor, Superman, time traveler [http://www.lermanet.com/scientologynews/australia/age02-052003.htm] (would later denounce L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology as being "insane crooks") when it couldn't fix his broken spine and make him a [[Christopher Walken]]
* <s>Jerry Seinfeld</s> , comedian ("took a couple courses a number of years ago..."). Jew'd out of paying for the rest.
* Ethan Suplee, fat actor from "''Clerks''" and "''My Name Is Earl''". [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethan_Suplee#Personal_life]
* Billy Sheehan, legendary bassist who's been a Sci-Fag since 1971.
* Laura Prepon, who played Donna on ''[[Shit|That 70's Show]]'', and became one after getting it [[in the ass]] off-stage from Scifag [[Danny Masterson]].
* Master Shake, lame cartoon character, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.[http://video.adultswim.com/aqua-teen-hunger-force/shake-thats-not-the-message-here.html]
* <s>[[Will Smith]]</s>, actor. Just barely managed to escape last Thursday, but was punished by having the story to ''After Earth'' forcibly injected into his brain.
* Your [[dead friend]] that <s>no one</s> everyone cares about. Please feel free to tell us about it, including names, addresses, and phone numbers of his closest friends in the church, so that condolences and encouragement can be sent.

=== Non-Celebrity Scientologists ===
* Angel Garrett Pagarigan
* Microsearch Laboratories

=== Unconfirmed $cientologists ===
[[Image:TOM-CRUISE-WILL-SMITH.jpg|thumb|[[bel-air|Fresh Prince]], too? Fuck.]]
* [[Will Smith]] has recently been linked to the Church; Smith has since denied such allegations, citing that, "You don't have to be [[Jews|Jewish]] to be a friend of Steven Spielberg. You don't have to be a [[Muslim]] to be a friend of Muhammad Ali. And you don't have to be a [[Retard|Scientologist]] to be a friend of [[Placentafag|Tom Cruise]]." It is well-known, however, that Co$ (and possibly Jews) have embarked on a sinister campaign to convert Will Smith and his wife in order to [[Apartheid|connect with the black community]].

:When production on "''Hancock''" finished, Smith passed out "wrap presents" to the film's crew members: vouchers good for a personality test at a local Scientology center. Smith has also favorably compared Hubbard's teachings to tenets of other major religions. But then again, the Unfresh Prince has also said that [http://www.tmz.com/2007/12/24/jews-not-jiggy-with-fresh-putz-of-bel-air/ Hitler wasn't all that bad].

:The Smiths recently spent a cool million [http://www.christianpost.com/article/20080703/will-smith-funded-school-raises-flags-over-scientology-ties.htm building a private school in LA] that has CO$ 'teachers' using L. Ron [[bullshit|'study tech']] as '[[mindfuck|a learning method]]'. Their previous "humanitarian" project involved sending over 9,000 [[goatse|goats]] to Africa. Africa [[DO NOT WANT|did not want]] them.

:'''UPDATE:''' If you fucks would pick up a Newsweek every once in a while, you'd find that although he is still a nigger, Will Smith is definitely NOT a Scientologist. In fact, he wants to have [[gay|fagsex]] with Jesus, but has no problem inviting [[Buddha]], [[Allah]], and [[LRH]] for an [[orgy]]. He also calls Scientology a religion multiple times. Although the interview is filled with praise for Scifaggery, this should make for some serious lulz when [[Tom Cruise|Uncle Tom]] and his buttbuddy, [[David Miscavige|David McSandwich]], make some press release calling [[Woll Smoth|Will Smith]] a black person.

:
* Jennifer Lopez *Jello*, her father has been a $cientologist for over 20 years and most people make fun of L. Jo because she hangs out with [[fag|Tom Cruise]], is batshit insane, and [http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0630061jlo1.html is known to practice voodoo on her enemies].
* JJ Abrams, assumed former Scientologist, and creator of [[Lost]]
* Ethan Rom [http://www.lostpedia.com/wiki/Ethan], William Mapother [http://www.lostpedia.com/wiki/William_Mapother], this guy IRL is Tom Cruise's cousin.
* 2/3 of the [[Lemon Party]]
* Courtney Love (Stephen Colbert isn't Sure) [http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-july-28-2005/this-week-in-god---scientology]
* Vivian Kubrick, Stanley Kubrick's daughter. !?([[WTF|What the FUCK]]!!?)[http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats/by-name/v/vivian-kubrick.html]
* Neil Gaiman, whose father is high in the food chain in the UK. ([[srsly|SRS]]!) UPDATE: David Gaiman (Neil's dad) got hit by the IRL banhammer in a business meeting, [[HHHHNNNNNNGGG]]'ing his way out of the cult (the second most respectable way out, next to [[an hero]]) Also, suspicious as to Neil's current status as a $ciFag can, perhaps, be calmed. He was heavily involved in Co$ for some time, even being ranked as a Class VIII auditor and placed in considerable authority positions, but was classified as "[[SP]]" in 1983 (unconfirmed), $ciFag speak for [[troll|sensible people]]. He is commonly listed as an "unconfirmed member" in any Co$ leaning sites, but you know those cockmonglers would claim him given half the chance, considering all the sweet, sweet [[b8]] he would attract. There is a surprising amount of debate on this subject amongst fans, i.e. serious trolling material.
* [[Prime Number Shitting Bear]]
* One or more of the members of Limp Bizkit, as they did the Mission Impossible theme for the second movie.
* [[Hannah Montana]]? [http://www.popcrunch.com/miley-cyrus-scientology-recruit-john-travolta-miley-cyrus-scientology-recruiting/]

===Jack Parsons; the grandfather of Scientology===
[[Image:Xenu scientology xenu.jpg|thumb|right]]

Jack Parsons was an avid practitioner of the occult arts, forefather of CoS, and a follower of Thelema. He saw no contradiction between his scientific and magical pursuits: before each rocket test launch, Parsons would invoke the god Pan for [[lulz]]. He was chosen by Aleister Crowley to lead Agape Lodge, the Thelemic O.T.O. in [[California]] in 1942 after Crowley expelled [[Fresh Prince of Bel Air|Wilfred Smith]] from the position.

Sarah Elizabeth Northrup (aka 'Betty'), began living with Parsons after his wife, Sarah's half-sister Helen Northrup, left with Wilfred Smith (no relation to [[Will Smith]]). Sarah Elizabeth Northrup later married (top secret) '''[[L. Ron Hubbard]]''', the founder of "The Church of Scientology" and sometime magickal partner of Parsons. Parsons and Hubbard participated in a ritual known as the '''Babalon Working''' which is famous in occult circles — loosely, it was an attempt to summon a living goddess and '''change the course of history''' (according to [[TOW]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Parsons]).

In January of 1946, Parsons, Betty, and Hubbard started a boat dealing company named Allied Enterprises. Parsons put in a large sum of approximately $21,000—Hubbard put in $1,200, and Betty nothing. Hubbard eventually abandoned Parsons and their business plans, leaving a port in Florida with the boat and Betty. It is said Parsons retreated to his hotel room and summoned a typhoon in retribution. Legend or not, Hubbard and the ship were washed ashore in a freak storm the same day. A Florida court later dissolved the poorly contracted business, ordered repayment of debts to Parsons and awarded ownership of the boat to Hubbard.

The Hubbard/Allied relationship lasted until 1947, when Hubbard defrauded Parsons of a sum of money and ran off with Sarah Northrup. Hubbard used much of this money from Allied Enterprises to promulgate and publish his book '''Dianetics''', which later evolved into and was superseded by '''Scientology'''.

For more on the Jack Parsons side of the tale, Richard Hoagland/Mike Bara's book Dark Mission [http://archive.is/RFByz] is a decent source.

<br>

=== LRH's Gay Son===
[[Image:Gayerthangay.jpg|thumb|right|Quentin Hubbard, making his father proud.]]
[[Quentin Hubbard]] (6 January 1954 – 12 November 1976), was the ghey son of L. Ron Hubbard and wife turned convict [[Mary Sue]] Hubbard. Quentin (or Queenu as he was known to his friends) had been groomed by his father to take over the organization, although Quentin preferred to take it in the ass. Quentin was discovered by police October 28, 1976, unconscious from an apparent suicide attempt and died two weeks later. However, in reality, he was murdered by followers of LRH who were super extra sensitive about anything ghey related, and jockeying for position for after L Ron eventually [[An Hero|pwned himself]] with [[jenkem]]

"According to him and my mother, he tried to do it with me. I was born at six and a half months and weighed two pounds, two ounces. I mean, I wasn’t born: this is what came out as a result of their attempt to abort me. It happened during a night of partying, he got involved in trying to do a black-magic number. Also, I’ve got to complete this by saying that he thought of himself as the
Beast 666 incarnate." - Actual IRL quote from Junior. HE IS A FUCKING FAILED ABORTION! LULZ

==IRL Important Free Info==
===Lisa McPherson===
[[Image:Lisa-before.jpg|thumb|Lisa Mcpherson '''Before''']][[Image:Lisa-after.jpg|thumb|Lisa McPherson '''After''']]

In 1995, Scientologist Lisa McPherson died under mysterious circumstances under the care of fellow Scientologists. Two months after celebrating "clear" status(you never get sick and have eidetic memory), Lisa was involved in a minor auto accident before pulling off her clothes and walking down the street naked saying, [[Halp|"I need help." ]] When Lisa was taken to a local emergency room several Scientologists showed up and forced the [[Placentafag|obviously disturbed]] woman back to their headquarters at Fort Harrison. Instead of giving the woman proper medical care, Lisa was [[Dying alone|locked in a room alone]] and monitored 24/7 by Scifags. There, she didn't eat any food or drink any water, and was drawing with her own feces and beating on the walls until her death 17 days later.

We know all of this because the Scifags [[Bureaucratic Fuck|kept detailed notes of everything]] that went on. On day 17, the Scientologists finally decided to take her to the hospital because she was obviously dying. However, they drove past the local hospital to take her to a Scientologist doctor miles away. They did this so the doctor could make a fake report ([[Fail|they even got her date of birth wrong]]) to keep the scifags out of trouble.

The autopsy noted that she was completely devoid of liquid at the time of death and there were numerous cockroach [[om nom nom nom|bites]] on her face. <br><br>

'''However, this wasn't the first death at Fort Harrison to be surrounded by mysterious circumstances.'''

Other strange incidents [http://archive.is/zzEAS included]:

-- '''1980''' Suicide: The woman suffered from depression, but was not permitted to take any medication for it.

-- '''1980''' Josephus A. Havenith, 45. This was a puzzling death: the victim was found in a bathtub full of boiling hot water. Supposedly the cause of death was drowning, but--oddly--the victim's head was above water. Havenith's skin had begun to peel off due to the extremely hot temperature of the bath water.

-- '''1988''' Death by drowning. Unexplained circumstances, accident, murder or suicide.

-- '''1989''' Death in the basement near the boilers, carbon monoxide poisoning.

-- '''1988''' German native Heribert Pfaff, 31, died of an apparent seizure in room 758. Scientologists had strongly discouraged the victim from taking physician-prescribed anti-seizure medication that he desperately needed.

-- '''2007''' David Hans Schmidt, 47. Committed "suicide" by hanging "himself" at his apartment while on house arrest in Arizona after after trying to extort money from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes with his nefarious "wedding photos" he had of them. Investigators on the scene noticed that the cord that he used to "hang himself" with in his shower stall was so low, that he would have had to have squatted for him to strangle "himself". Natural human reflexes make his "self"-strangulation impossible.

-- '''2009''' Jet Travolta. Mental retardation related death.

-- '' 1953-Present hundreds, possibly over a thousand other "suicides" and "accidents".

<center>
{{frame|<youtube>MGrVN1GwMjg</youtube>|border=red|background=red}}
</center>

See also [http://archive.is/l3xiO/ Why Are They Dead] for more "mysterious" Scientologist deaths.<br><br>

===Fair Game===
<i>See also: [[Rorschach]]</i>

As Hubbard became increasing paranoid while admiral of his [[cockboat]], he instituted a new policy for Scientologists in an effort to fight the many enemies he [[Schizophrenia|imagined were after him]]. This policy declared all suppressive persons (SP's), which basically means anyone who isn't a Scifag, "Fair Game"[http://www.xenutv.com/int/shrinkingworld.htm].
<br><br>
{{Quote2|SP ORDER - FAIR GAME<br><br>

May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued, or lied to, or destroyed.|L Ron Hubbard on "ethics"}}

Fair Game policy says that Scientologists are [[Islam|required by their religion to IRL troll]] on [[everyone|anyone who might pose a threat]]. This, combined with their mantra of "always attack, never defend", means aggressive litigation, libel, [[Surprise sex|surprise sechs]], and other [[faggotry]], for anyone who stands in their way.

===Operation Snow White===
[[Image:conan.jpg|thumb|Conan O'Brien has absolutely NOTHING to do with this article. He is, however, quite adept at buffoonery, as shown here.]]
By the 70's, the church's [[faggotry|good deeds]] were well known around the world and many countries were keeping tabs on the Scifags activities. Hubbard, ever paranoid, got the brilliant idea to sue everyone ever in an attempt to clear government records of Scientology, and bring charges of genocide against [[psychiatrists]] and other CoS critics. These projects became known collectively as Operation [[SnowVhite|Snow White]]. When these attempts to improve their image failed, the Church decided to play [[IRL]] Splinter Cell and used covert ops to remove documents from the [[party van|FBI]], the US Treasury Department, Interpol and other government agencies. But this was also [[fail]], and in 1979, 11 high ranking CoS members, including L. Ron's wife [[Mary Sue]], were [[v&|found guilty]] of burglary and theft of government property. In the end, Hubbard's attempts to clear the church's name only lead to even more investigations and government raids.
[[File:Scientologysocietyoflight.PNG|thumb|Similarly, [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|this]] has very little to do with the article as a whole, but it's being added in as a nice little bonus.]]

===How $cilons react to water===

According to L. Ron Hubbard's Film (see article below), $cientologists weaknesses are mainly water. This may be because water is holy and $cientology is the work of Satan, or just because they are total pussies. This video shows exactly what happened when Lord Xenu made the $cilons [[Masterbation|get wet]] (due to harsh content, [[Youtube|JewTube]] [[Fail|has not allowed us to show the part when the $cilons melt to death]]). If calculations are correct, over 9000 liters of water should take care of all those $cifags.

=== Battlefield Earth ===
[[Image:Ew be spoof.jpg|thumb|left|When I saw this movie, it [[rape|raped]] my ass.]]
[[Image:Battlefield earth planetship.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Less a movie, more a vile disease.]]
The Scifags have committed many crimes against humanity over the years, but the worst probably has to be the crapfest of a "movie" that is ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlefield_Earth_%28novel%29 Battlefield Earth]''. In 2000, [[Fag]]ecologist fanbois discovered a new book of Scientology, written [[at least 100 years ago]] by Hubby during one of his drug induced stupors, and decided to make an epic failure of a movie out of it. The story is a prophecy of how Xenu will return to Earth, generally fuck everything up, and [[rape|enslave]] all of humanity to harvest [[vespene gas]]. In the end, some faggot [[slave]] finds an old military plane, which couldn't fight off the aliens when they first showed up, and proceeded to blow the fuck out of all the aliens with it, thus saving the day. The moral of the story: [[stupid|Store planes in caves]].

Upon its release- Battlefield Earth was an international box-office smash hit- becoming a major commercial failure and critical flop and has been widely dismissed as one of the worst films ever made.

Trying to watch this film is like trying to read cursive from an illiterate cerebral palsy victim with hooks for hands; but far, far worse. But much like laughing at people who suffer from severe mental disease, laughing at John Travolta's existence and [[stupid]] blimp-sized head is just as fun--even if it's a film that lasts longer than drying paint. Note also that this movie ENDED the comeback John Travolta was given due to his part in ''Pulp Fiction''. Nowadays he can't even get a cameo in an infomercial. (Granted, John Travolta's lack of film prospects is all Xenu's fault.)
<br>
{{quote| Everything about Battlefield Earth sucks. Everything. The over-the-top music, the unbelievable sets, the terrible dialogue, the hammy acting, the lousy special effects, the beginning, the middle and especially the end. God above, it's bad. Sweet baby Jesus, it's bad. By all that is holy and sacred on the Earth, this is a bad, bad, bad film
|Jonathan Ross, Movie critic, being generous}}

However if you MUST see this film, it can be turned into a lulzfest by getting drunk (or high) and watching it alongside the [[Mystery Science Theater 3000|Rifftrax]] commentary. If you're too cheap to buy the track and pirate the movie, get them both [http://www.mininova.org/tor/1121884 here]

'''[[Protip]]: Do not buy this movie under any circumstances.''' Your money will end up helping Scientology. Pirate it [[for great justice]].

==OTI Faggotry==
=== EarthLink $cientology Drama ===
[[Image:Lostscientology.jpg|thumb|right| [[Lost]] is a subtle critique of $cientology (unlike this article)]]
It has been charged by most EDiot researchers of the $cam Church of Scientology that EarthLink is a front organization for Scientology. According to skeptictank.org:
:Numerous individuals who have worked for this cult front company in the past have come forward to describe the fact that EarthLink's help desk's employees are ordered to claim that the Scientology crime syndicate doesn't own and run EarthLink.NET. (See comments by ex-employees of EarthLink.net on The Skeptic Tank's web site [http://www.skeptictank.org/]) The fact is, the security of one's [[e-mail]] which flows through these two companies is highly suspect and users who subscribe to either of these services should consider very carefully the history of the Scientology crime syndicate. In 1998, the weekly ''San Jose Metro'' ran an article called "Missing Links", examining the Scientology-EarthLink controversy:Electronic free-speech advocates are concerned about the Scientology leanings of EarthLink founder Sky Dayton and the church's history of litigation over copyright infringements on the [[internets]];... Dayton is a vocal follower of the Church of $camientology who in the early days surrounded himself with upper management and private financiers who were also $cientologists;... As the company has grown, EarthLink executives have tried to distance the company from its Scientology roots, and for good reason. Unlike other religions, Scientology has earned a reputation for dragging [[ISP]]s into court for alleged copyright violations committed by private subscribers, something which electronic-privacy advocates believe could erode free discourse on the Net [http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/03.19.98/scientology-9811.html]. Dayton and his two financial backers are Scientologists. When this fact created controversy in the media, Dayton asserted that the idea that EarthLink was owned by the Church of Scientology was absurd, making the comparison, "It was like I'm Jewish, therefore EarthLink was involved with [[9/11]]."

===Battle with [[YTMND]]===
[[Image:Tom cruise xenu.png|thumb|right|the battle is nevar over]]
Several [[YTMND]]s have made a mockery of this [[Lying|totally real and not fictitious religion]] and legal representatives from the Church of Scientology officially stated, {{squote|[[ALL CAPS|OMFG, HOW CAN U SAY SUCH THINGS! I'M TOTALLY SUING UR ASS!!!!11]]}}
People at the site [[unwarranted self importance|make a big deal about it]], however [[noone]] really cares because YTMND is just as lame as the Scifags ever were.

* [http://theunfunnytruth.ytmnd.com/ Unfunny truth about Scientology]
* [http://theunfunnysequel.ytmnd.com/ Sequal of Unfunny Truth]
* [http://theunfunnytruthisaac.ytmnd.com/ Third part of Unfunny Truth. Now about Isaac Hayes]

===Xenu strikes back: Dead or Alive!===
The COS is not scared of you, they have a [[Gaddafi|puppet regime]].

[[Basement dweller]] search engine [[Digg]], provided a link to a story/press release from the pro COS created organization Religious Freedom Watch. The site is a statement from the organization offers a "$5,000 reward for information leading to the identification and criminal or civil prosecution of persons making threats against RFW and/or persons associated with it. The threats have come from a person or persons using the monikers of ElBaldo, Eggshell White, Advocate of Painful Death or similar names." The link has been taken down, possibly [[for great justice]].
Using thair [[Computer Science III]], some of the diggers have provided a google cache to the story. The story includes a list of Ip addresses. Possibly from the [[Good_Korea|good Korea]].

Troll bounty hunters are welcome to contact reward5000@earthlink.net.

===Scientology? In my tubes?===
As of [[100_years_ago|recently]] the church of [[Scientology|satanology]] decided to buy [[jewtube|youtube]] to promote its [[Cult|religion]] through fascist propaganda on the site. In order to [[Lie|"Tell us the facts"]] they have embeded pay per click ads [[for great justice]]. Clicking on these links [[9000|multiple]] times results in massive amounts of [[win]] and [[profit]]. The cocksuckers at JewTube decided to make Scientology undeservingly a YouTube Partner and are constantly putting their crap under 'promoted videos'. We should boycott or something.

<center><youtube>yABRrKpthTY</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>Hh7tF3PkUio</youtube></center>

===DDoS-proof hosting?===
The CoS website is hosted by [[Prolexic]]. They are [[DO NOT WANT|not exactly happy]] about it either, because they base their reputation on reliability, and CoS is a huge bullseye.

===Site Changes===
Late March, Scientology.org was switched from its standard view that was DDOSed, to a Video Site (like [[jewtube]]) which is currently hosting over [[at least 100]] [[propaganda | videos]].

===Document Leak===
Operating Thetan (OT) documents of the Church of Scientology were leaked via Wikileaks. Although some portions of the manual have been leaked previously, this is believed to be the first time the full unedited version has become publicly available.

The 612-page manual for Scientologists written by L. Ron Hubbard contains instructions for the eight different Operating Thetan levels including 'clear' and OT8. Hubbard himself claims to have smuggled out his own 'OT8' instructions for the "elite" Scientologists.

To quote that fatass, "I am breaking security as I disagree that this should only be released to an elite in Scientology. I do, however, ask it not be released to psyches or 'squirrels' or anyone who will break the Independent Security Network and allow it to get back to the Church of Scientology. It would be best if they do not find out that we have it. Please treat this data responsibly. It is the key to the only truth possible," said Hubbard in regards to his 'OT8' instructions.

Site is here: http://wikileaks.org/wiki/Church_of_Scientology's_'Operating_Thetan'_documents_leaked_online

===$cientology = [[Hookers and Blow]] [[Goatse|Ring]] = NAZIS?!===
An [[faggot|AIDS-carrying]] $cientologist named [[fail|Zack Attack]] has recently implied that not only is he a [[fag]] for liking [[buttsecks|Tom Cruise]] and his [[cock]] a little too much, but also that Scientology is nothing but a whore ring after he attempted to silence Anonymous with promises of sex with [[fugly]] [[fat]] cunt-scifaggots. This, of course, didn't work because noone would have sex with them because their stretch mark plagued fat collapsed in on their vaginas [[at least 100 years ago]]. [[Some argue]] that they would fuck these tuna-smelling cunts [[stick it in her pooper|in the pooper]] if they didn't have gigantic, big-as-my-fuckin'- torso [[Shay|asses filled with shit they can't shit out.]] He also admits that Scientologists are [[Nazis]] that [[incest|LURVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THEIR PARENTS V. MUCH!!!!!]] Despite the fact that they're [[sick fuck|sick fucks]] for participating in incest, the fact that they're Nazis is just [[batshit crazy]] because all Scifags are [[jews|Jewfails.]] Besides having a megavirus called sypiaids, they're also [[emofags]] that hate themselves for being Jews while being Nazis. It is a proven fact that they joined Scientology because they need [[suicide|self-help]] [[LOL WUT|auditing sessions]] because they hate themselves but are too [[pussy]] to become [[an hero]] and make everyone happy.

Feel free to spam the Scifag [http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=302917676 here.] [[pwnt|baleeted]]

===France pwns Scientology===
While the [[Jews|IRS]] [[Wut|views CoS as an official religion]] over in [[Murka]], [[France]] shat all over that rule and instead decided to grab the French branch of Scifaggotry by the balls and, in a moment of totally unexpected [[pwn]]age, France actually came down on CoS and fined them [[Over 9000|600,000]] [[money|euros]] ([[Shit nobody cares about|or $900,000 to you dirty Americans]]) for money fraud.[http://web.archive.org/web/20091101182702/http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/paris-court-convicts-scientology-of-fraud/article1340903/][http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8327569.stm] [[Germany]], another [[Troll|staunch critic]] of Scifaggotry, [[Fail|has yet to follow through with similar pwnage]].

==Trolling==
[[Image:Hubbard_34.jpg|thumb|150px|[[Rule 34]]: First your childhood, then your cult.]]
'''Warning''': Agitated Scientologists have been known to [[rape|assault]] people whom they even ''suspect'' of being "bigoted" towards their religion.<br>
'''Trolling Note:''' Scientologists are inherently tied to [[Godwin's Law]] and will compare you to the Nazis within a few posts, skipping the formal 6 page thread pre-Nazi argument.

[[Image:Teegeackistan.jpg|thumb|left|This anon has done his job well.]]
===Fun with the mail===
[[Image:buttraepoteegeack.jpg|thumb|...nevar fails.]]
[[Image:Fuckingfreezing.jpg|thumb|150px|...nevar evar fails.]]
[[Image:Is-that-what-I-think-it-is.jpg|thumb|150px|EVAR.]]
[[Image:HubbardsDream.jpg|thumb|Moar]]
[[Image:Scientologymanson.jpg|thumb|A religion thats "too crazy" for Charles Manson? Sign me up!]]
[[Image:Asdfsadfasdfasdfdl8.jpg|thumb|Wikipedias very informative Scientology page]]
'''1.''' The next time you go to Safeway or another large supermarket, head for the magazine aisle. There are usually 8 or 9 subscription postcards on the floor, which have fallen from various magazines. Pick them all up and take them home. It doesn't matter which magazines they are from, but it's extra [[lulz]]y if one is Psychology Today.

'''2.''' Then, fill them all out with names like Ron Hubbard, Xenu Hubbard, Ron Xenu, David Xenu Miscavige. Bonus lulz and epic win points for using Sara Northrup or Mary Sue Hubbard for subscriptions to women's magazines, as these were two of the IRL wives of LRH. Give the address of your local "Church" of Scientology. Always go for the two-year plans, choose free gifts when offered, etc. Car and Driver, Tiger Beat, Seventeen, Guns & Ammo, High Times, Model Airplane Builder, they're all good. Especially lulzy choices: Soldier of Fortune (this adds the victim to right wing gun nut mailing lists); High Times (this adds the victim to left wing hemp-legalization mailing lists) and Architectural Digest (because the subscription is so painfully expensive...and it adds the victim to a few other artsy fartsy mailing lists.)

'''3.''' You can also have some of these names give "gift" subscriptions to the others. So, for example, Ron Hubbard at the Los Angeles "Church" address, can sign up for two years of [http://archive.is/Dc9vY Cat Fancy], and give two years of it as a gift to his pal Dave Miscavige in San Francisco! "Bill me later!" Lulz me now!

Now, you will probably not get to personally see the havoc you will cause, but you can certainly imagine these serious Scientologists trying to clear up these misunderstandings with the magazine companies, who will soon begin to send angrier and angrier form letters to the "Church," in addition to several issues of the magazines. Normal people, of course, would [[ignore]] the whole situation, but the Scientologists will waste limitless, countless hours on the phone, showing up in person, etc. trying to fix it (aka, "Handle", with a rough situation for them being called a "flap". Stir enough shit and you create a HUGE "flap". A massive flap is known as a "Hill 10"), spelling out all the subscriber names, magazine titles, etc. It will be incredibly and unrelentingly futile and infuriating for them. Therein lies your joy.

All magazine subscriptions (in the USA) are processed through contractor companies based for some reason mostly in Iowa. The editorial offices in [[Jew York|New York]] won't have the faintest idea of what to do. The subscription offices in [[Iowa]] employ retired, half-sane, half-blind old people and people who got fired from Goodwill to sort the hundreds of thousands of postcards and do data entry. It will simply not be fixable.

'''[[PROTIP|PROTIPS:]]'''<br>
*Repeat this procedure every time you go to the supermarket, bookstore, library, etc.
*Don't try doing this through online subscriptions. Interestingly, [[Irony|a "paper" trail now also means that it is "untraceable".]]
*Obviously, don't mention the CoS on the subscription card.
*The correct format will be something like this:
<blockquote>
Ronaldo Del Hubbardella Teegeacko <br>
701 Montgomery Street<br>
San Francisco, CA 94101<br>
</blockquote>

'''Bonus:''' Got any official business with the church but can't afford the postage? Well, just save this image, print it on the back of anything you've got laying around (envelopes, card stock, used condoms) and toss it in the mail. The church will be happy to cover the 41 cents in postage and 70 cents in special handling fees for each message you send along.

[[Image:Bridge_envelope.jpg|200px]]

===Moar Trolling===
* Call '''1-800-334-LIFE''' and ask for David Miscavige or Lord [[Xenu]]. Basically, if you call or contact asking for '''Suri Cruise''', remember these volcano-fearing people are serious business. Caller ID block has no effect on toll-free numbers because they use [[Wikipedia:Automatic number identification|Automatic number identification]], so you need to use a pay phone.

*If you came across a Scientologist video, first download it with [http://www.keepvid.com/ keepvid.com] to avoid deleting.

*If you choose to troll the Scientology Church of England, you can try to get them [[V&]] with a simple trick: Fax them some [[:File:Guropasttime.jpg|loli guro]], as in England, if you possess that stuff, you can (and will) get [http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/01/07/20-years-for-loli-manga-%E2%80%9Cvictims-don%E2%80%99t-have-to-exist%E2%80%9D/ 20][http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/02/03/britain-bans-fetish-porn/ +] years. Hope they enjoy their new fapping material, 'couse where they are going, they are gonna need it.

* If you are feeling ballsy ask why there is a volcano on the cover of ''Dianetics''. You should know the answer and tell them about Xenu and the bombs. They will flip out.

*Continue trying to move Scientology into the "Parody or mock religions" category on Wikipedia

* The Scientologists have established a center across the street from the University of [[Texas]] in order to prey on the weak. Their phone number is '''512-474-6631'''. [[You]] should call them and ask about Operation Snow White, Lord Xenu, or some combination thereof, then giggle and hang up. if you choose to stay on the line, they will ask for your name and number. If you fall for this you should become [[an hero]] Feel free to Rick Roll their phone with [http://www.prankdial.com/ Prank Dialer.]

* Also, conference call multiple CoS's, with yourself on mute. When they realize that it's a prank and hang up, repeat at least 100 times. Lulz ensue.

* Remember after you have contacted, the '''others''' will begin to not pick up or answer. Instead, they will leave an answer machine on. [[Lulz]] will continue to ensue, once you realize they will disconnect the answering machines once you say anything about "Xenu" or Aleister Crowley, etc. ''For best results when they answer'', ask the person that picks up if they are "'''clear'''". Most likely at some point they will ask for your name, or ask if you exist. Yes, they will actually ask, "'''Do you exist?'''" / "'''What crimes have you done?'''", and so on.

* When they ask "What crimes have you done?" or a similar question, quote the [http://www.mithral.com/~beberg/manifesto.html Hacker's Manifesto]: "Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for."

[[Image:Xenu-1.jpg|thumb|left| Be sure to ask them why there is a Volcano on the cover of Dianetics [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dianetics]]]
[[Image:Xenu_volcanoes.jpg|thumb|left|You guessed it.]]
* The best way to troll an individual Scientologist, is to talk openly and loudly about the [[Xenu]] Story. This information is not revealed to a Scientologist until they reach the level of OT III (incident 2) and only after they have paid upwards of $360,000 USD. The Church of Scientology, not wishing people to realize what a huge joke the Xenu story is, thus "blowing their Org" (leaving the Church quickly and without warning) and taking that ever-delicious cash with them, warn Scientologists that hearing about Xenu before they are "prepared" (read: sufficiently [[brainwashing|brainwashed]] and have made with the long green) to hear it will give them pneumonia and possibly make them die. Many public Scientologists have not reached OT III due to the high cost, and despite pressure from the Church to give up things like food, shelter, electricity and possibly selling an organ or two to reach this lofty level, this increases the chance that you will be able to "enturbulate" ("piss off"— ''[[http://www.xenu-directory.net/glossary/glossary_e.htm#Enturbulated Dictionary of Scientology]]'') an active Scientologist increases exponentially, as does the chance of lulz.

* To troll Scientologists en masse [[IRL]] is very simple. Just go to one of their "Orgs" (their word for "Church" or "Mission") and <strike>carry a lot of cameras. Hang around and take plenty of pictures, even if there is no film in the cameras, gawk at the gagglefuck of Scienos going to and from the Org and generally stand out. You will soon be surrounded by Scientology security goons, who will harass you and tell you to fuck off, even though you are on public property. </strike> HA HA, I STOLE THIS FROM A WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS INTERVIEW. If you refuse, they will get very cross with you and speak endlessly into their walkie talkies. Scientologists will emerge from inside the Org, armed with video cameras and take YOUR picture, get extremely agitated, ask you what your "crimes" are and generally be asshats. For [[epic win]], wait around til the cops they called show up and blame everything on the Scienos being paranoid, militaristic bastards.

* For ultimate lulz, if you are unfortunate enough to live in [[Los Angeles]], drive your [[car]] to [http://tinyurl.com/3k32qa  L. Ron Hubbard Way] (yes, this really exists), which sits between their international headquarters and the barracks where they [[rape]] new recruits. Make sure that you remove your license plates before doing this as they will have numerous cameras trained on you. Roll your windows down and bump your phat beats (PROTIP: for extra LULZ play selections from the enturbulator9 album "Scientology Sucks") , then slow down or stop for a moment, <strike>rev your engine up high and dump the clutch - or, if you have an automatic, put it into "N," hit the gas, and then when it's revving, pop it back into "D." You will do what is called a "rolling burnout" on the red brick road.</strike> drive a real RWD vehicle and do the best burnout you can. Numerous Scientologists will look on in abject horror as two long, black lines are left in your wake. Tire marks are a serious pain in the ass to get out of red brick and they'll mar the sacred L. Ron Hubbard Way for weeks, until LA's "public works" finally gets around to it, or they force new victims to scrub it by hand.

*Also in Los Angeles, near [[faggot|L. Ron Hubbard Way]], keep walking circles around the complex block late-night with a friend. Do this until the security guard stops you. Then proceed to [[do it faggot|make out]] with your buddy all over the officers vehicle. This actually will in-turn help scientology; through the addition of new oncoming sheckels obtained through self help courses given to 'retard slave1139' -by order of the holy kike ..So you might want further consider this plan. <br>Suck my dick.
<strike>Ron Hubbard Life Exhibition Museum". [http://www.lronhubbardprofile.org/profile/exhib.htm Seriously]. 6331 Hollywood Boulevard, in a building that looks like a bank. It's free and you can be guided by a genuine Scientologist through animatronic exhibits dramatizing both Hubbard's vast self serving bullshit about what his life was like before he founded Scientology as well as scenes from his books. Marvel at the exhibit for "Mission Earth" where you have two rubber aliens acting out a plot where they hit the Earth for drugs to bring back to their home planet. This may be a good time to ask your guide about Aleister Crowley and Jack Parsons in relation to Hubbard. See how Scientology has its own business improvement course to help you yourself make money. Many opportunities for fun, as well as heavily air conditioned for your pleasure.</strike>

*<strike>The big background for trolling: there are tons of Scientology documents out there, but the basic book that they rely on is "The Science of Survival", written after Dianetics. Get a copy of Science of Survival in order to get moar ideas about how to fuck with oppressive Scientologists.</strike> <b>Nigga u serious?</b>

* There is a beautifully subtle and pernicious way of screwing up the brains of an Agitated Scientologist; Listed below are things you can say to a Scientologist that would instantly stop them in their tracks and cause them to think. Sorry, each is written in the dialect of crazy fucking moon language that the Scientologists speak in, so memorize them carefully.

** "No one has the right to sell you Scientology. '''It belongs to the entire human race'''".
** "Where have all the millions of trained auditors gone?. Ask RTC."
** "The Religious Technology Center is '''squirreling''' Hubbard's books. Compare recent and earlier editions"
** "David Miscavige '''murdered''' L. Ron Hubbard"
** "The SP is right in front of you: David Miscavige".
** "If it weren't for the Religious Technology Center, '''you'd be OT by now'''.
** Will you make it this lifetime? Not if RTC has anything to say about it".
** "PR can't hide the Truth anymore. '''RTC is destroying Scientology'''."
** "It's your next endless trillions of years. Are you going to let RTC doom you?"
** "The work was free, keep it so ..."
** "The entire bridge is on the Internet. You '''don't''' have to pay anyone for it"
** "'''Scientology. The rich person's religion.'''"
** "Only the idle rich can afford Scientology".
** "90% of your contributions are going toward '''legal fees'''. Outpoint?"'''

These may sound like gibberish, but saying them to a Scientologist is akin to Martin Luther nailing his 95 Theses onto the door of a Catholic Church and starting the Reformation. <strike>And a good, hearty '''Scientologist-vs.-Scientologist [[jihad|holy war]] would be an endless sea of lulz'''!</strike> Since criticizing / discussing Scientology is considered "Verbal Tech" (and thus forbidden), what's more likely to happen is that any Scientologist with enough of their brains intact will either blow after a few minutes of thought, or run like the wind as soon as he gets sent to Ethics for daring to question the Church.

=== Scientology speedruns ===
In April, 2026. a trend began where people would rush into the main Scientology building while recording, They also began mapping out the building, Its gotten to the point that Scientology has removed their doorhandles from 4 seperate buildings and police have started to investigate. Why would anybody even do this? [[For the Lulz]]

=== Trolling Critics ===
[[Image:xenufapfap.GIF|thumb|OMG XENU ESCAPED THE VOLCANO]]
[[Image:Stimpy-scientology.gif|thumb|John Kricfalusi's concept on dianetics, using Stimpy as a test subject for hallucinogens]]
'''Warning:''' Do not troll [[Wise beard man]] unless you are looking to be put in [[Intellectual Checkmate]].<br>
If one wishes, one may also troll on the "other side of the fence". That is, troll the critics of Scientology. This is often the source of many epic [[lulz]], since critics get so caught up in their "activism" in railing against Scientology, that they often don't see that they are, themselves, becoming the very model of what a Scientologist should be.

Trolling critics is generally a longer set up that your garden variety troll, but depending on the set up can last anywhere from a couple of months to over a year. The troller should find a Scientology critic message board (Operation Clambake being the largest example thereof), create an account and once situated within the community, incite chaos by doing one (or all) of the following:

* Declare your love/admiration/respect for L.Ron Hubbard. Add that he was brilliant.
* Start every topic and answer every question with a Hubbard quote.
* Say that Scientology means "Study of truth" and ask the critics why they are against truth.
* Claim that there is actual "value" in Scientology "tech"
* Claim that Scientology is a "bona fide" religion.
* Say that Fair Game doesn't exist. And Xenu is an invention of ex-members.
* Claim that Scientology "helps people become more able"
* Say that all critics are oppressors, bigots, intolerant, Nazis etc.
* Bad mouth psychiatry
* Suggest to bomb the Church and say it will be a kewl terrorist attack.
* Threaten to drop [[dox]] on someone's [[Powerword]]: IRL Name on the boards.

(Note: Threatening to drop dox, or "outing" a critic is a troll ending move, but the resultant panic generates much [[lulz]])

Any or all of the above will brand you immediately as a "Scieno", "Clam" or the entity most dreaded by the critic "community", O.S.A. which is short for Office of Special Affairs, the "dirty tricks/litigation" arm of the Scientology "Church". Many lulz ensue as the critics bad mouth you, tell you you're stupid, that Hubbard was a mad man, sling epithets and generally attempt to [[butthurt]] you with tired, cliche arguments over and over. These critics have developed a kind of "visual stealth technology" wherein if you point out that they're acting exactly like the big, bad entity they're fighting against, blinders will come down, your observation will be either categorically denied (despite the obviousness) or [[ignored]].

'''Remember''': these "critics" are the ones who claim to want to "help" people exit the cult of Scientology, but seem to be the first ones to drive Scientologists running screaming right back to their E-Meters for "Life Repair Handling" or courses in shattering "Suppressive Persons".

== '''[[PROJECT CHANOLOGY]]'''==
[[Image:Xenunigra.jpg|thumb|]]
[[Image:War on Scientology.jpg|thumb|frame|right|Courtesy of David.]]

After a video interview of Tom Cruise got leaked onto [[JewTube]], scientology got butthurt and had the video removed. This prompted niggertits.org to man the harpoons and begin an epic battle against the Scientologists. You can help by Lurking Moar and figuring out what to do yourself.

{{quote| '''[[Gentlemen]], This is what I have been waiting for. Habbo, Fox, The G4 Newfag Flood crisis. Those were all training scenarios. This is what we have been waiting for. This is a battle for justice. Everytime niggertits has gone to war, it has been for our own causes. Now, gentlemen, we are going to fight for something that is right. I say damn those of us who advise against this fight. I say damn those of us who say this is foolish.

/b/ROTHERS, OUR TIME HAS COME FOR US TO RISE AS NOT ONLY HEROES OF THE INTERNETS, BUT AS ITS GUARDIANS.

/b/ROTHERS. LET THE DEMONS OF THE INTARWEBS BECOME THE ANGELS THAT SHALL VANQUISH THE EVIL THAT DARE TURN ITS FACE TO US.

/b/ROTHERS....

MAN THE HARPOONS!'''|Anon}}

<big><big><center>'''An Anonymous Message to Scientology'''</center></big></big><br>
<center><youtube>lwil_LGuDaI</youtube><br><br>

'''Anonymous says: WE RUN THIS (bitches!)'''<br>
<youtube>j0ZFow_9vsg</youtube><br><br></center>

==Videos==

===Official Scientology Orientational Video===

Apparently, they've gone to great lengths to make sure that people don't see it, particularly because even they realize that it's total [[bullshit]] and they don't want the [[you|unclean outsiders]] proving that to [[fucktard|the people who make them rich]]. Pay special attention to the [[bullshit]] starting at 0:00. Expect a lawsuit if you even think about pondering the consideration of maybe some day downloading it. HOLY SHIT IT'S ALL BEEN DELETED! OMG [[conspiracy]]. Re-upload plz!

<b>Enemy list:</b> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgqKA3w6T2U]

<br><br>

===Scientology DOES NOT WANT You To See These Videos===

One of Scientology's favorite Internet tricks is filing fraudulent DMCA copyright infringement take-down notices (especially on YouTube and Vimeo) from non-existent, misspelled entities. DMCA takedowns typically assert that a Scilon, hiding behind a made-up company, is the rightful owner of a copyrighted item in a particular video. During a recent attack, YouTube knobgobbler [[oschaper]] claimed he owned the rights to Canadian and Australian television broadcasts, videos shot by Anonymous, Mark "Wise Beard Man" Bunker's videos and many more.<br><br>

These frivolous and deceitful DMCA rake-down notices briefly fooled the robots at You Tube into complying with [[oschaper]]'s nonsense, but within hours, situation normal was no longer all fucked up. <br><br>

This is not the first time Scientology has attempted to silence critics on YouTube. Popular target videos discuss Xenu / OTIII, NarCONon and other Scientology front groups, Scientologist bullbaiting, mysterious Scientology-related deaths, David Miscavige is an asthmatic dwarf, The Reclamation project Force (RPF, Scientology's gulags), child abuse and child labor in Scientology, and similar subjects.<br><br>
{{clear}}

Scientologists have failed to grasp the concept that these takedown attempts only focus MORE attention of the cult's abuses and illegal activities, not less. They also fail to grasp that for every removed video, ten mirrors spring up in its place, and new non-Anonymous vloggers get pissedoff and look into "that crazy Scientology cult thing." So, all in all, we're not that bothered by the takedowns. Each round of bogus DMCA complaints just creates more Anons and more critics, and spawns more press and blog coverage (for Anonymous and against Scientology). We kind of hope they don't catch on to this and keep on footbulleting.<br><br><br>

'''If your video gets yoinked by a butthurt Scilon, finding contact information for YouTube can be a tedious (and fruitless) task. Try the following contact addresses:'''<br><br>

editor@youtube.com<br>
suggestions@youtube.com<br>
legal-support@google.com<br>
copyright@youtube.com<br>
estreich@youtube.com<br><br>

650-343-2960<br>
650-253-0000 - Press 0 for a live person<br><br>

YouTube CTO Steve Chen<br>
YouTube CEO Chad Hurley<br><br>

Media Relations:<br>
Elizabeth Linder, press@youtube.com<br>
Ricardo Reyes<br><br>

YouTube, LLC<br>
901 Cherry Ave.<br>
San Bruno, CA 94066<br>
USA<br><br><br>

'''YouTube tries very hard to hide these email addresses, but hell hath no fury like Anonymous scorned:'''<br><br>

editor@youtube.com<br>
service@youtube.com<br>
suggestions@youtube.com<br>
ads@youtube.com<br>
legal-support@google.com<br>
streamsfeedback@youtube.com<br>
abuse@youtube.com<br>
estreich@youtube.com<br>
copyright@youtube.com<br>
ukcopyright@youtube.com<br>
activesharingfeedback@youtube.com<br>
filmz@youtube.com<br>
citizentube@youtube.com<br>
audioswapfeedback@youtube.com<br>
security@youtube.com<br>
howto@youtube.com<br>
citizensteve@youtube.com<br>
comedy@youtube.com<br><br><br>

'''It might be convenient to copy/paste this string in the address section of most email programs''':<br><br>

''editor@youtube.com; abuse@youtube.com; service@youtube.com; suggestions@youtube.com; ads@youtube.com; legal-support@google.com; streamsfeedback@youtube.com; estreich@youtube.com; copyright@youtube.com; ukcopyright@youtube.com; activesharingfeedback@youtube.com; filmz@youtube.com; citizentube@youtube.com; audioswapfeedback@youtube.com; security@youtube.com; howto@youtube.com; citizensteve@youtube.com; comedy@youtube.com; abuse@youtube.com''<br><br><br>

'''You can also try:'''<br>

1. Go to YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.<br>

2. Select "Report abuse", "General policy inquiry", and click on "Continue".<br>

3. Click on "My video was removed".<br>

4. At the bottom of the text, click on "contact us".<br>

5. Fill out the form. For the "Issue", select "My video was incorrectly removed".<br><br>

Anonymous says: "Although not as strong as a counterclaim, it's the next best thing in my opinion."<br><br><br>

'''If you do have one of your YT videos yanked or challenged, CONGRATS! You enturbulated a Scientologist!'''<br><br><br>

<center>
<youtube>Fc_2nN6CCSM</youtube><br>Today Tonight Australia on Scientology Front Group NarCONon<br><br>
<youtube>XzFO4M2joBA</youtube><br>Human Rights Video: Born Free and Equal<br>
Child labor and child abuse in the CoS
</center>

{{Quote|If you're scientologist, you see life that you see things... the way they are... in all its (sic) glory|Tom Cruise on [[Schizophrenia|seeing things]]}}

===Another Leaked Indoctrination Video===
<center><br>
<youtube>CxOJmffRVbA</youtube></center>
<br>

{{Quote|Why ask Permission? <br> [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|We are the authorities]]|'''Tom Cruise''' - '' on CoS taking over the World''}}
<br>

===$cientology goes to Bel-Air===
Now this is a story all about how<br>
my life got flipped turned upside down<br>
and I'd like to take a minute, just sit down and rest<br>
I'll give you a free personality test!<br><br>

In Mission Impossible, born and raised<br>
Destroying thetans where I spent most of my days<br>
Auditing, scamming, relaxing all cool<br>
And collecting some money outside of the school<br>
when a couple of anons starting raiding without apologies<br>
so I had to defend my cult of scientology<br><br>

I got in one little fight and L.Ron Hubbard got scared<br>
he said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air"<br><br>

I whisled for Xenu and when he came near<br>
The e-meter said "[[brainwashing|brainwash]]" and it had dice in the mirror<br>
If anything I could say this scam was rare<br>
But I said fuck it now! Yo, Xenu, to Bel-Air!<br><br>

I paid them in millions, about seven or eight<br>
And I yelled to L.Ron. Yo Hubbard smell you later<br>
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there.<br>
Now I'm scamming the innocent in a town called Bel-Air.<br><br>

===The Bridge===
A movie directed by Brett Hanover, it was a decent documentary with poorly acted parts throughout. Since it used footage from their training videos, Scientology throughly pwned him in court. A message was left on his site: ''"The Bridge" was a narrative feature which I directed in 2006 Due to copyright issues, I have asked that this film be removed from circulation. Please do not contact me regarding this production."'' That doesn't ring of "being kidnapped and being buried near Al Capone's Treasure or Jimmy Hoffa". No siree.
<br>
<br>
<center><youtube>s-DkG6kKASc</youtube><br>
The Bridge</center>
<br>
<br>
This film is a free-media online release. Copyrighted material is included in accordance with the Fair Use doctrine. Brett Hanover is not responsible for the distribution or promotion of this film, and makes no claims as to its content.
<br>
<br>
'''Circulate this shit.'''
*[https://www.mediafire.com/?6rpjzt81ttrrcss Download link 1.]
*[http://www.almlf.com/3st1lo8scqwi.htm Download link 2.]
{{clear}}

== Quotes ==
{{tinyquote|<big>'''Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If I want to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start my own religion.'''</big>|L. Ron Hubbard|entrepreneur}}

{{tinyquote|<big>'''I've seen hentai that is more believable than scientology.'''</big>|Anon}}

{{tinyquote|"Not until my fourteenth or fifteenth year did I begin to come across the word 'Scientologist,' with any frequency, partly in connection with political discussions.... For the Scientologist was still characterized for me by nothing but his religion, and therefore, on grounds of human tolerance, I maintained my rejection of religious attacks in this case as in others. Consequently, the tone, particularly that of the Viennese anti-Scientologistic press, seemed to me unworthy of the cultural tradition of a great nation. I was not in agreement with the sharp anti-Scientologistic tone, but from time to time I read arguments which gave me some food for thought. At all events, these occasions slowly made me acquainted with the man and the movement, which in those days guided Vienna's destinies: Dr. Karl Lueger and the Christian Social Party. How many of my basic principles were upset by this change in my attitude toward the Christian Social movement! My views with regard to anti-Sientologistic thus succumbed to the passage of time, and this was my greatest transformation of all. The Scientologist has always been a people with definite racial characteristics and never a religion. Due to his own original special nature, the Scientologist cannot possess a religious institution, if for no other reason because he lacks idealism in any form, and hence belief in a hereafter is absolutely foreign to him. And a religion in the good sense cannot be imagined which lacks the conviction of survival after death in some form. Indeed, their book is not a book to prepare a man for the hereafter, but only for a practical and profitable life in this world. The best characterization is provided by the product of this religious education, the scientologist himself. His life is only of this world, and his spirit is inwardly as alien to true Christianity as his nature two thousand years previous was to the great founder of the new doctrine. Of course, the latter made no secret of his attitude toward the scientologist people, and when necessary he even took the whip to drive from the temple of them this adversary of all humanity, who then as always saw in religion nothing but an instrument for his business existence. In return, Christ was nailed to the cross, while our present-day party Christians debase themselves to begging for scientologist votes at elections and later try to arrange political swindles with atheistic scientologist parties-- and this against their own nation. First, therefore, [the Scientologist] goes about making up to the people for his previous sins against them. He begins his career as the 'benefactor' of mankind. Since his new benevolence has a practical foundation, that the left hand should not know what the right hand giveth; no, whether he likes it or not, he must reconcile himself to letting as many people as possible know how deeply he feels the sufferings of the masses and all the sacrifices that he himself is making to combat them. But even more: all at once the scientologist also becomes liberal and begins to rave about the necessary progress of mankind. If we consider how greatly he has sinned against the masses in the course of the centuries, how he has squeezed and sucked the blood again and again; if furthermore, we consider how the people gradually learned to hate him for this, and ended up by regarding his existence as nothing but punishment of Heaven for the other peoples, we can understand how hard this shift must be for the scientologist. The scientologist youth lies in wait for hours on end, satanically glaring at and spying on the unsuspicious girl whom he plans to seduce, adulterating her blood and removing her from the bosom of her own people. The scientologist uses every possible means to undermine the racial foundations of a subjugated people. the personification of the devil as the symbol of all evil assumes the living shape of the Scientologist. And so he [the Scientologist] advances on his fatal road until another force comes forth to oppose him, and in a mighty struggle hurls the heaven-stormer back to Lucifer. The world is today the next great war aim of Bolshevism. It requires all the force of a young missionary idea to raise our people up again, to free them from the snares of this international serpent. Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: 'by defending myself against the scientologist, I am fighting for the work of the Lord.'" |[[God|Hitler]]}}

{{tinyquote|<big>'''"Hentai" is animated pornography showcasing women who have better bodies than any real women (yet have weird hairstyles and hair-colors) and men with enormous penises.'''</big>|Reverend Mike Ferriss, Church of Scientology, Christchurch, New Zealand; prefers 2D women; one of us}}

{{quote|A very effective thought control technique
could also be worked out from Scientology,
which could be used to make
individuals into '''willing slaves'''.|'''L Ron Hubbard'''|founder of a legitimate religion devoid of [[OVER_9000|any]] [[brainwashing]]}}

{{quote|Now, he could simply say, "I have action." A magician - the magic cults of the eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth centuries in the Middle East were fascinating. The only modern work that has anything to do with them is a trifle wild in spots, but it's fascinating work in itself, and that's work written by Aleister Crowley, the late Aleister Crowley, my very good friend. And he did himself a splendid piece of aesthetics built around those magic cults. It's very interesting reading to get hold of a copy of a book, quite rare, but it can be obtained. the Master Therion, T-h-e-r-i-o-n, The Master Therion by Aleister Crowley. He signs himself "The Beast"; "The Mark of the Beast, 666." Very, very something or other.|L. Ron Hubbard|Dec 5 1952 (that Crowley fellow sounds like such a nice man)}}

{{squote|I suppose the guy who has trouble running another Thetan at that proximity probably not very horse-powered or something of the sort. Well all I ever did as a body Thetan was just think "go to the .. [[retard|uh]] .. [[Idiot|uh]] .. [[What_the_fuck|think Incident One zoooom]]! Go through it, get your stop off you know", "Rmmm", he says "Rmmmm. Zooooom! Hrrm. Hey that's mine!" he'd say. "I'm leaving!" I'd say "Good bye!" [laughter]|L. Ron Hubbard, explaining how to audit out a Body Thetan or some wacky bullshit.}}

{{quote|They were imported. They were actually .. the trick was to shoot somebody, disable somebody, very often a needle into a lung and at the same time to hit him with frozen alcohol and glycol which preparation is guaranteed to pick up a Thetan. All they had to do was pick him up and put him in a refrigerator and they had him, boy. If he tried to exteriorize from the body, there he was, frozen. And they threw 'em into collection points, boxed 'em up in boxes, threw 'em into space planes which were the exact copies of DC8's, the DC8 airplane is the exact copy of the space plane of that day. And, no difference, except the DC8 had fans, propellers on it and the space plane didn't.|L. Ron Hubbard (Now you know how we were transported to Earth, Teegeeack, in such large numbers and why John Travolta's son Jet's bedroom is modeled on the inside of a DC-8 airplane)}}

{{squote|<big>'''Not smoking enough will cause lung cancer.'''</big>|Dr. L Ron Hubbard}}

{{tinyquote|Anyway, Everyman is then shown to have been crucified so don't think that it's an accident that this crucifixion, they found out that this applied. Somebody somewhere on this planet, back about 600 BC, found some pieces of R6, and I don't know how they found it, either by watching madmen or something, but since that time they have used it and it became what is known as Christianity. The man on the Cross. There was no Christ. But the man on the cross is shown as Everyman. So of course each person seeing a crucified man, has an immediate feeling of sympathy for this man. Therefore you get many PCs who says they are Christ. Now, there's two reasons for that, one is the Roman Empire was prone to crucify people, so a person can have been crucified, but in R6 he is shown as crucified.|L. Ron Hubbard, history revisionist}}

{{quote|Don't break your back scrubbing floors. '''Get yourself a nigger, that's what they were born for.'''|L. Ron Hubbard[http://www.holysmoke.org/cos/quotes-by-and-about-hubbard.htm]|founder of the [[Not_racist|equal-opportunity]] [[Cult|religion]], Scientology}}

{{quote|And they had elected a fellow by the name of Xemu, ah, could be spelled X-e-m-u, to the supreme ruler, and they were about to un-elect him, and he took the last moments he had in office to really '[[What_the_fuck|goof the floof]]'......Xemu missed......which Xemu had bought in......[[TL;DR|and so on]], the administrators that had been loyal to Xemu.....Xemu was put with several of his cohorts in the center of a mountain.....|L. Ron Hubbard|ace reporter (he's covered wars, you know!)}}

{{squote|<big>'''Failure to suppress truth is fail.'''</big>|History}}

{{squote|<big>'''If a woman ever has a child come out of her Vagina she should immediately snap it's neck'''</big>|L Ron Hubbard, ugliest motherfucker whose ever lived}}

{{squote|<big>'''One night I was rolling around in a puddle of my own cum when I thought of this neat thing called scientology'''</big>|L Ron Hubbard, Inventor of Science}}

==Gallery==

{{cg|Gallerology|scifaggallery|center|<gallery>
Image:foil1.jpg|Typical Scientologists
Image:Xenu.gif|Xenu will pimp your ass
Image:dianetics.jpg|First Edition
Image:Traptheory.jpg|How Scientology stopped Co$
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Rage Volcaneo--.jpg|[[Troll|RAGE]] volcanoes
Image:Celeb_lg_travolta2.gif|A typical scientologist's day
Image:Ghostbusters.jpg|Thetans Not Allowed
Image:VennBollocks.svg|Scientology is every kind of bollocks
Image:Scihax1.GIF|Two months after Project Chanology began, Scilon sites were STILL easily haxx0red.
Image:Scihax2.GIF|20 March 2008
Image:Scihax3.GIF|20 March 2008
Image:Scihax4.GIF|20 March 2008
Image:NOANONHERE.jpg|OSHIT, ANONS AREN'T ALLOWED IN SCIFAG BUILDINGS.
Image:Gfhgfhgfhsci.jpg|pissed off
Image:Fraud_detection.jpg|Vista fraud monitoring is definitly ON!
Image:ScientologyLRHreturns.jpg|
Image:Travoltawaltz.jpg|JOHN TRAVOLTA'S IN UR ROYAL FAMILY, OPERATIN UR THETANZ
Image:xenushitpickle.JPG|Anonymous vs $cientology: a battle for freedom,and lulz.
Image:Tomteeth.jpg|This is what Scientologists actually look like.
Image:Googlebombscientologycult.PNG|See...Even Google agrees - kthxbai
Image:Xenu-Chan.jpg|Xenu-Chan
Image:Bitches don't know bout my thetans.jpg|BITCHES DON'T KNOW JACK PARSONS
Image:Placentayum.jpg
File:Scientology vs All.JPG
Image:elronbuttplug.jpg|The legendary L.Ron buttplug.
Image:peterkriel.jpg|Rumors claim Elron isn't dead,but simply changed his identity to Peter Kriel.
Image:Mein_Scampf.jpg|The unpublished predecessor of ''Dianetics''
Image:Scientologycross.jpg|Crowley and Hubbard: magickal E-PALS
Image:Epic fail xenu.gif|Lord XENU in [[Epic Fail Guy|rare human form]]. Nanu Nanu.
Image:HISTORY of the UNIVERSE.png|Scientologist children find History to be much more interesting than playing video games.
Image:Emeterad.jpg|Bitten, by a rabid prairie dog? It's more likely than you think.
Image:Cultflow.jpg|How to escape scientology. Save me, Xenu!
Image:Travoltafag.jpg|Maybe scientology was right
Image:1205582797498.png|This is what Scientology does to teenagers
Image:Battlecreek.jpg|Jackie Chan takes it to Battle Creek [http://www.battlecreekenquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080313/NEWS01/303130048]
Image:Xenu_blend.jpg|Xenu smoothie?
Image:Tom chan.jpg|[[Tom Cruise]] is undercover in your [[anonymous|chan]] keeping a photographic record of your faces
Image:Insane_Cultist.gif|Obvious Scientologist.
Image:VendettaProtest.jpeg|If you're going to protest, don't scare children while you're doing it.
Image:OSA_Landscaping.jpg|Inconspicuous black van
Image:WWXD3.jpg|This is what Xenu thinks of Earth.
Image:L-Ron_exploitable_2.JPG
Image:L-Ron_exploitable_1.JPG
Image:Scientology_for_sechs.jpg|They have a history of this?
Image:Tardcruise.jpg|Well, [[retard|this explains a lot]].
Image:Narconon_in_VU_uni02.jpg|Narconon propaganda found in Melbourne Uni, Anon agent took care of business.
Image:Isn.jpg|The final issue (in press now)
Image:ScientologyAsshole.jpg|The secret vault where the CoS stores their scriptures
Image:Strangebirds.gif|Subliminal Scientology
Image:COS_letterhead.jpg|"Non Profit" OH THE IRONY
Image:cowintology1.jpg|Scilons exist even in the world of cows
Image:ScilonTruck2.jpg|Scientology [[Series of Tubes|is a big truck]]
Image:ScilonTruck1.jpg|Not sure what state, but "BL99510"
File:Scientology Pain 01.gif
File:ScientologyTouch.jpg
File:Scientology-Curious.jpg
File:Scientology-Communication.jpg
File:ScientologyBrighter.jpg
File:ScientologyIsKing.jpg
File:Whatisscientology.jpg
File:Scientologicalalarmos9.png
File:Scientologistsworshipstheirgod.jpg
File:Scientology.jpg
File:Scientology_cult_lulz.jpg
File:Scientology_did_heath.jpg
File:Scientology_is_creepy(small).jpg
File:Scientology_lol.jpg
File:Scientology_raid_18_08.jpg
File:Scientology_warning_leaflet.jpg
File:ScientologyanonmediaCNET.jpg
File:Scientologylostlulz.jpg
File:Scientologymyboiiii.png
File:Scifag.jpg
File:Scifag2.jpg
File:ScifagsEd4.JPG
File:ScifagsOwned.png
File:Scifagthreat.png
File:ScilonKids.jpg
File:Scilonad.png
File:Scilons_NO.jpg
File:Ruthie scientology lawlz.jpg
File:Peep show scientology.jpg
</gallery>}}

== See Also ==
*[[Cult]]
*[[Murder]]
*[[Fraud]]
*[[Brainwashing]]
*[[Bullshit]]
*[[Psychiatrists]]
*[[L. Ron Jeremy]]
*[[Susan J. Elliott]]
*[[Tom Cruise]]
*[[Leah Remini]]
*[[Jason Beghe]]
*[[Quentin Hubbard]]
*[[Wisebeardman]]
*[[PROJECT CHANOLOGY]]
*[[Neil Gaiman's Sandman]] Neil is not a Scientologist. Nope. Not at all.
*[[Time Magazine]]
*[[Religion]]
*[[OldDirtyBtard]]
*[[Victim complex]]
*[[Raelian]] for more aliens and volcanoes
*[[Scientology Speedrunning]]
*[[Freezone]]
*[[Peep Show]]
*[[anti-lulz]]
*[[Truthism.com]]
*[[Thunderf00t]]
*[[Lies]]
*[[Xee-A Twelve]]
*[[Harlan Ellison]]
*[[PROJECT CHANOLOGY/IRL PROTEST PAGE/Chicago]]
*[[PROJECT CHANOLOGY/IRL PROTEST PAGE/Orlando]]
*[[PROJECT CHANOLOGY/Feb10 Media Archive]]
*[[Standing Up To Authority]]

==Video Links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HGM8DSnYh0 BBC Panorama exposes Scientology's true colors]
* {{youtube|W949q6Mtsfk|a common brainwashed Scientologist.}}
* {{youtube|5mehdjwaS48|a background history on the cult of scientology}}
* {{youtube|pjwD7UbZhso|moar on its origins}}
* {{youtube|pPol_m8wm8Y|Scientologist faggotry}}
* {{youtube|2iy0HMrRcYs|A remix of some of Hubbard's most insane recordings}}
* {{youtube|EdgTrDYp-f4|A remix of Matt Raw, Scientology Enthusiast.}}
* {{youtube|wzslF0w1Hkg|$ci Underc0ver}}
* {{youtube|Z4PNpFjKVfY|"Tom Cruise Crazy" music video}}
* {{youtube|aQLN1_A2Rj0|Slideshow photos of Anonymous protesting worldwide}}
* [http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/scientolulz Some shit about Scientology]
* [http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/423640 Same shit, different site]
* [http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/103804/ The "Trapped in the Closet" South Park]. The infamous episode ripping COS that Tom Cruise attempted to permaban from life. Too bad [[noone]] cares about Tom's shitty movies any moar.
* [http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/1001/ "The Return of Chef" South Park]. After Scifag Isaac Hayes 'quit' South Park ([[some argue]] that he was forced to quit by the cult) because of "Trapped in the Closet", Matt and Trey subtly went to town on the "fruity little club" that [[brainwashing|brainwashed]] Chef.
*[http://rapidshare.com/files/159442283/Valentines_Day__Chanology_Anthemic_.flv.html '''High Definition Broadcast (Compressed FLV 44.7mb), Valentine's Day Chanology''']
*[http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1157593538404514998&ei=Mev7SLn1GqXcqAPek9D3DA&q=chanology&hl=en '''PSP Version of the above''']]]

==External Links==
*[http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4343921/Dianetics__The_Modern_Science_of_Mental_Health PDF of LIEatnetics, so $$$cientology won't get your precious money just because you want lulz]
*[http://mybillionyearcontract.com Scientology Book] by Nancy Many
*[http://theunfunnytruth.ytmnd.com/ YTMND - The Un-Funny Truth About Scientology]
*[http://reverendlefthand.blogspot.com discrediting hubbard on a lower scale].
* [http://wikileaks.org.uk/leak/scientology-staff-contract.pdf New Scientology contract to prevent their being sued!]
* [http://hardcorescientology.ytmnd.com/ Hardcore Scientology Remix from credits of "The Bridge"] (YTMND) Contains classified information that will make Scientologists heads explode if they hear it. Play it over the phone or at raids!
* [http://www.xenu.net/flash/specious.swf Clambake's origin of the Specious Flash Animation]
* [http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/43280/Scientology_Rally_What_Have_You_Got_To_Hide.html Typical Scientology members]
* [http://xenutv.wordpress.com/ The Wog Blog]
* [http://www.fifthindependent.com/programs/bullshitgen.zip Bullshit Generator] - This is what Old Mother Hubbard got all his ideas for his religion from.
* [http://youtube.com/profile?user=XENUTV1 XENUTV1 on YouTube]
* [http://www.clambake.org/ Operation Clambake, best source for Scientology information]
* [http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/index.html David Touretzky archive]
* http://www.lermanet.com/PhotoLIES.htm
* http://perezhilton.com/2008-01-25-calling-war-on-scientology - O lawd; perez hiltin is afraid of anonymous
* [http://www.forum.exscn.net/showpost.php?p=57816&postcount=1 Insider experiences]
* [http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/9363363/inside_scientology Rolling Stone magazine article CoS] "Inside Scientology Unlocking the complex code of America's most mysterious religion" Feb 23, 2006
* <del><nowiki>http://www.mediafire.com/?fzdznvbnlwu/</nowiki> '''zOMG SECRET DOCUMENTS ARE LEAKED''' A link to the .rar download</del> '''FILE BALEETED!'''
* [http://www.rotten.com/library/religion/scientology/ The crew @ Rotten.com take on Scientology]
* [http://www.ronthenut.org/ '''Ron the Nut! -''' Collection of court records, newspaper articles, and Navy records documenting the life and character of Scientology fabricator L. Ron Hubbard.]
* [http://rsteenoven.hostbrickmovies.com/mattraw.html OMG MATT RAW SCIENTOLOGIST??]
* [http://www.scientologie.org/english.htm Did Hubbard plagiarize this German author from the 1930s to create Scientology???]
* [http://www.last.fm/forum/21717/_/409247 Last.fm says DO NOT WANT to Scientology. Blocks it's google ads]
* [http://anonym.to/http://scientology.wikia.com/wiki/Scienowiki The Scientology Wiki. Troll moar!]
* [http://rapidshare.com/files/120634867/The_Class_VIII_Auditor_Course_Lectures_Xenu_Lecture__Confidential__Tape___68.zip.html Solid Proof of Xenu]
* [http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31006 A challenger appears!]
* [http://www.rocktanhair.com.au/ Hairdressers Adelaide]: For additional information on Hairdressers Adelaide
{{4chanarchive|53917623|Sign-entology}}

{{Chanology}}
{{cults}}
{{scientology}}
{{science}}
{{lern}}
{{otherkin}}
{{Business}}
{{truth}}
{{trolls}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 9 & 10, [[2012]]|[[Robert Wayne Stiles]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Fandom Secrets]]}}

[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

PROJECT CHANOLOGY

2026-05-14T03:27:39Z

The PolishPrince: /* See Also */

{{squote|'''Anonymous will be handled and stopped'''|Representative of the Church of Scientology before being owned'''}}
{{main|Project Chanology/Anonymous Directory}}
{{clear}}
{{TOCright}}

[[Image:Xenunigra.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Used for flooding.]]

[[last Thursday|Sometime before January 16]], [[2008]], [[Anonymous]] realized it had nothing better to do than get their collective panties in a twist because there is a [[Scientology|cult masquerading as a church]]. The resulting actions have snowballed into '''PROJECT CHANOLOGY''', which is a <s>covert</s> LOLvert plan to subjugate Co$ and all its affiliates. So far the most effective subjugation tactic found is replacing the letter 's' with a '$'; the plan goes on to include tactics closely mirroring the Church's own "Fair Game"  policies which it uses to justify [[IRL trolling]] of anyone who crosses them including its own members. PROJECT CHANOLOGY (aka '''Operation Chanology''' and '''Operation CoSplay''') and its phases are currently in various stages of completion and will end only in the utter [[ruin|ruination]] of Scientology. '''PC''' is also notable for being considered [[serious business]]; when in fact it is whatever [[you]] make it. [[You]] can help by realizing '''PC''' 's broad subversive and ultimately satirical nature.
{{clear}}
==[[All your base are belong to us|In A.D. 2008, war was beginning]]==
[[Tom Cruise]], a [[batshit|devout]] [[Scientologist|placentafag]], taped an interview for the church that was ultimately posted on [[YouTube]]. Rather than thank the well-intentioned newfag who leaked the video, the Church of Scientology got all [[butthurt]] and had the video [[DMCA|removed]].

{{align|center|<youtube>UFBZ_uAbxS0</youtube>}}

===<strike>CENSORED</strike>===
<s>[[butthurt|This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Church of Scientology International.]]</s> UNBALEETED

As we know all too well, [[Project Freeweb|censorship on the internets]] makes Anonymous [[RAGE|RAEG]].

==PROJECT CHANOLOGY Forms==
[[File:Itstimeb.png|thumb|180px|'''The first post''']]
PROJECT CHANOLOGY began as a simple proposal. It was initially met with skepticism, but after an intense debate PROJECT CHANOLOGY was approved.
<br />

<center>
{{bigpic|Chanologybegins1.jpg|680|200|'''The first day'''}}
{{bigpic|Chanologybegins2.jpg|680|200|'''The second day'''}}
</center>

==The Formal Declaration of War==

<center>
<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2">
<tr valign="top">
<td>'''An Anonymous Message to Scientology'''<br><youtube>lwil_LGuDaI</youtube>
</td>
<td>{{squote|Hello, Leaders of Scientology. We are Anonymous.

Over the years, we have been watching you. Your campaigns of misinformation; your suppression of dissent; your litigious nature, all of these things have caught our eye. With the leakage of your latest propaganda video into mainstream circulation, the extent of your malign influence over those who have come to trust you as leaders, has been made clear to us. Anonymous has therefore decided that your organization should be destroyed. For the good of your followers, for the good of mankind and for our own enjoyment. We shall proceed to expel you from the Internet and systematically dismantle the Church of Scientology in its present form. We recognize you as serious opponents, and do not expect our campaign to be completed in a short time frame. However, you will not prevail forever against the angry masses of the body politic. Your choice of methods, your hypocrisy and the general artlessness of your organization have sounded its death knell.

You have nowhere to hide, because we are everywhere.

You will find no recourse in attack, because for each of us that falls ten more will take his place.

We are cognisant of the many who may decry our methods as parallel those of the Church of Scientology, those who espouse the obvious truth that your organisation will use the actions of Anonymous as examples of the persecution of which you have for so long warned your followers. This is acceptable to Anonymous. In fact, it is encouraged. We are your SPs.

Over time, as we begin to merge our pulse with that of your "Church", the suppression of your followers will become increasingly difficult to maintain. Believers will become aware that salvation needn't come at the expense of their livelihood. They will become aware that the stress and the frustration that they feel is not due to us, but a source far closer to each. Yes, we are SPs. But the sum of suppression we could ever muster is eclipsed by that of your own RTC.

Knowledge is free.

We are Anonymous.

We are Legion.

We do not forgive.

WE DO NOT FORGET.

Expect us.}}
</td>
</tr>
</table>
</center>

== PROJECT CHANOLOGY Gets Underway ==
[[Image:Anons-business-card.jpg|thumb|300px|Anon comes calling.]]
[[Image:Alexaraep.jpg|thumb|300px|left|Alexa raep]]

<br>
After the troops were rounded up, all the newfags prepared to show off, but they just looked like even bigger newfags for trying to turn the internet into [[serious business]]. Starting on the 16th of January, Scientology's primary web site, Scientology.org, began to experience heavy [[DDoS]] and [[Gigaloader]] attacks. Many Scientology call centers were [[Rickroll|treated to the music of Rick Astley]] and [[Over 9000|a great number]] of pizzas and taxis were mistakenly ordered for Scientology buildings around the world.
<br>
<br>
{{quote|I've been fax DDoSing with black pieces of paper taped together creating an infinite loop but they've recently blocked them from coming through.|anon}}
{{clear}}

== Scientology Strikes Back ==
Eventually, the Scifags decided they had enough buttrape and in retaliation did what they always do: stick their evil [[Kendrick Moxon|lawyers]] on [[4chan|anyone and everyone]] who might be to blame. However, after further investigation into the matter it soon became clear as to [[Ebaumsworld|who was really responsible]] for all of this.

== Conditions Escalate ==

After the Scientologists websites initially went down, the enemy responded with their own bandwidth attacks on the [http://insurgen.info/wiki/Project_Chanology insurgency wiki], [[ED]], and other sites hosting the plans for the raid. However, the church [[Bitches dont know|didn't know]] that anonymous is relentless and the raid continued unphazed. When Scientology.com was finally restored to working order, the amount of web traffic not only returned but increased to 18 times greater than normal, a third of which was [http://howtorockstar.blogspot.com/2008/01/this-is-breaking-news-notorious-hacker.html redirects from BBC News]. The renewed PROJECT CHANOLOGY attacks in addition to the traffic due to media attention overloaded the servers and Scientology.com went down again. Unsatisfied, Anonymous acquired new targets and began taking down other Scientology websites around the world one by one. On January 21st, 10 major Scientology websites were either brought down or slowed to a crawl.
{{clear}}

==[[Wise beard man|Mark Bunker from XenuTv]] Addresses Anonymous.==

Subsequent to the initial raids on Scifagz.com, Wise Beard Man gained [[E-fame]] in a JewTube video he made directly addressing Anonymous. In the now famous video he stated he was glad to have so many people willing to take up the Anti-[[CoS]] cause, but at the same time he was critical of some of [[rape|Anon's methods]], and he suggested Anon only utilize legal means, as he does, to fight the Scifags. For example, in his video he suggested a movement to revoke the church's tax-exempt status and thus deplete their [[Jew gold|deep coffers]]. At first, WBM distanced himself from Anon, and was wary to directly help, out of fear that the Scilons would sic their extensive team of [[e-lawyer|legal professionals]] on his ass again. Nonetheless, Anonymous took the advice he offered about peaceful protesting [[Serious Cat|seriously]], and helped ensure the subsequent successes on [[2/10]] and [[3/15]]. By successfully convincing Anon to change its strategy, Beardfag, in essence, managed to do the impossible: control [[b/|the essence of chaos on teh Intarwebs]].

{{align|center|<youtube>O-bRE1NZ0vg</youtube>}}
{{align|center|{{youtube|zW466xcM0Yk|<strike>BALEETED</strike>}} Unbaleeted}}

<br />

{{align|center|
[[File:COS EFG party.gif|'''The reaction''']]
''The Reaction''}}

==Anonymous Protesters Worldwide==

On February 10th, 2008, Anonymous showed that they can troll effectively IRL as well as online. Over 9,000 protesters crept out of their basements, bunkers, cold-water studio flats and caves and gathered at approximately 200 Scihives (Orgs and Missions) to enturbulate the ever-lovin' fuck out of some cultists. LULZ ensued. '''WIN!'''

Scientology responded with the expected lies, attempts to censor critics, BAAAWW! and butthurt. '''FAIL!'''

'''Various FAIL responses from Scilons included (but were not limited to):'''
* the usual Fair Game tactics of hiring private investigators to stalk protesters
* bullbaiting
* namefagging
* facefagging
* assaulting protesters and/or their Cameras(grabbing masks, bumping into or impeding protesters from using public walkways)
* Luring Protestors away from safety(by appearing to vandalise their property) and gang bashing them under the pretence of "Trespassing", a favourite tactic of scilon Goldbase-guard [[Dickhead|Danny Dunegin]].
* filing frivolous lawsuits
* hiding behind enormous walls of shipping containers
* illegally closing down sidewalks and public roadways (and harassing elderly and disabled non-Anonymous neighbors)
* attempting to ban Anonymous from retail establishments and restaurants by pressuring the owners of same to put up anti-Anonymous signage
* inflicting property damage (vehicles with slashed tires, dents, etc.)
* killing pets (R.I.P. Mudkips--good night, sweet prince, etc.)
* getting Anons fired
* trying to use local law enforcement officers as their personal army (which resulted in at least three arrests worldwide; charges later dropped)
* sending out DVDs full of faked footage and hyperbolic and self-serving lies to uninvolved people who may or may not have underage B& kids protesting & delivering those DVDs by impersonating process servers and police officers
* filing frivolous copyright claims to get pro-Anonymous videos yanked
* throwing eggs and water at protesters
* interfering with a major Anonymous protest planning webforum's ability to use Google AdSense to raise revenue
* denying the truth about OTIII / Xenu
* sending out flocks of [[OSA]] tards to spam every blog or news site that mentions Scientology in a less than glowing light (these people are VERY busy at the moment)
* sending out flocks of OSA tards and NarCONon apologists to spam anti-CoS videos on YouTube and elsewhere
* stealing protest signs
* destroying protest signs
* attempting to intimidate protesters
* preventing small children from getting a delicious sammich at a Subway
* showing up with a motherfucking GUN at a peaceful protest (WTF)

and

* taking eleventy bazillion videos and photos of protesters.

Anon only gets MOAR excited when the Scientologists [[Your_resistance_only_makes_my_penis_harder%21|struggle]]. (LOL. Insert appropriate meme here.)(fix'd)

==19 months on==

Naturally, there has been the usual in-fighting that occurs within any herd of cats, but lulzfags, newfags and moralfags continue to get their jollies every month (and sometimes MOAR often than that), with occasional participation of oldfags, g00ns, *tards and other disreputable characters.

Meanwhile, a bunch of oldfags and non-moralfags are up to SRS BSNS as well.

==A very, very small sample of Anonymous WINS against Scientology==

* Virtually ALL Scilon top $ekrit dox now available online for free
* Wired, RADAR and MAXIM and many other magazine articles
* Moles within the CoS
* New ex-Scis, reconnecting with friends and family
* Old ex-Scis speaking out
* Exposing the illegal activities and abusive practices of the "Church" of Scientology to previously uninformed members of the general public
* Encouraging the press to print the truth more and more often now that the Scilons are too busy to Fair Game ''all'' critics at once
* A ZOMG! ''positive'' report from [[Fox News|FAUX NEWS]] (of all people)
* Several Orgs closed at least once and often more than once each month
* Several Orgs and Missions presumed to be CLOSED DUE TO /r/AIDS
* Stress Table recruitment thwarted
* Incriminating video of Scilon misbehavior shot and shared
* MOAR dox dropped with the FBI
* Courts worldwide slapping down frivolous litigation from the cult
* Top level Scilons suddenly missing (probably sent to the RPF / Scilon gulag)
* Public opinion notably much cooler towards Scientology
* Being complimented by [[Rick Astley]] and [[V for Vendetta|Alan Moore]]
* Exposing more and more Scilon front groups
* Increased cooperation and support from law enforcement worldwide
* Helping Tom Cruise ruin his own career by publicizing every dumbass thing he says or does
* Hundreds of newspaper articles, blogs and references about Anonymous worldwide, the VAST majority of which are positive

and

* Lots of enjoyment at Scilon footbulletry.

[[Image:Stresstest.jpg|thumb|WHY SO STRESSED?]]
[[Image:Brb_cult.jpg|thumb|brb, cult. An uncanny resemblance to [[brb church|Forcand]], wouldn't you say?]]

==Time-Track (lol Scilons)==

*'''1/16/08'''- PROJECT CHANOLOGY begins.
*'''1/17/08'''- Scientology.org down. A mirror of this epic event is located at http://epicscientologywar.ytmnd.com/
*'''1/18/08'''- Slowpoke raiders show up on the scheduled day. Site still down.
*'''1/19/08'''- Still pissy, site still down, along with the dianetics hotline ('''1-800-367-8788''') or ('''01342 318229''') if you're a britfag, which have been [[rickroll]]ed to death.
*'''1/20/08'''- Site is up and down throughout the day. Media begins to take notice.
*'''1/21/08''' - Second Wave. Official declaration of war and message to Scientology on Jewtube released. Moar media take notice redirecting additional traffic to scientology.org. The general Internet populace now see Anonymous as the good guys. 20+ Scientology websites taken down. PROJECT CHANOLOGY reaches the tipping point [[OTI]].
*'''1/22/08'''- In retaliation to the constant assault by anonymous, The Church of Scientology had political prisoner [[Heath Ledger]] put to death.
*'''1/23/08''' - Anonymous delivers, another super secret dox released. (not [[Splongcat|Splongcat's]]) Download and re-upload before the Co$ can take it down!<strike>FOR GREAT JUSTICE![http://www.digg.com/odd_stuff/ANON_release_Scientology_secret_DOX].</strike> IT'S A TRAP! Page contains [[over 9000]] fucktons of adware now. Fucked up Feuer's computer.

'''TOM CRUISE ORDERS EMERGENCY EVACUATION OF Co$ SERVERS'''
Co$ used the downtime to moves scientology.org server from it's own server farm to a secure data center owned by Prolexic Technologies, which specializes in DDoS-resilient hosting services. Anonymous was encouraged to call Prolexic at '''+1 (954) 620-6002''', fax them at '''+1 (954) 925-6642''', or e-mail them at '''sales@prolexic.com''' to congratulate them on winning the Co$ hosting contract. You can also contact their emergency team at '''911@prolexic.com''' .

*'''1/24/08'''
:*Scientology.org '''Site Temporarily Unavailable.
Sorry, the site you requested is currently unavailable. It will be available as soon as possible. Please try again later.
Generated Fri, 25 Jan 2008 04:36:44 GMT by Prolexic.com (SI1.PHX1/3.0)'''
''' Then, again, the fastest loading site EVAR '''
:*Scientology.com '''working'''

Anon's activities are reported in Sky News and Old Media.

*'''1/28/08 - [[Wise Beard Man]] bestows his bearded wisdom on Anon.
*'''2/10/08''' - [[PROJECT CHANOLOGY/IRL PROTEST PAGE|'''The day of reckoning''']] - IRL raids are made of [[win|god and win]]
*'''3/15/08''' - [[PROJECT_CHANOLOGY/IDES_OF_MARCH|'''IRL raids''']] are once again made of [[win|god and win]] but with moar scilons with guns!
*'''4/3/08''' - LAPD drops all charges against [[Rorschach]], begins [[v&|investigating]] Scifaggery.
*'''12/17/10''' - After Anonymous grows bored with Project: Chanology, and begins [[Operation Payback]], Scientology claims victory over Anonymous. Anonymous responds by DDoS'ing Mastercard.

[[O RLY|'''y mucho mas!''']]

*[[Portal:Chanology|'''Chanology Portal''']]

=== Anonymous Leaders ===
If you have any questions or concerns about the protests, or if you would like to participate in future raids, you can reach the CEO of Anonymous Inc. at:

:[[Hal Turner]]
:1906 Paterson Plank Road
:North Bergen, NJ 07047-1900
:USA

Or you can call during our normal business hours, 11pm-6am at +1-201-484-0060 EST.

'''PROTIP:''' Anonymous likes pizza. Feel free to show your support and send our Glorious Leaders ''lots'' of delicious, tasty pizzas. OM NOM NOM NOM.

If you are calling out of normal business hours, please try our CTO and Computer Science III trainer:

:[[Alex Wuori]]
:57 Barcelona Ct
:Fairfield, CA 94533-286
:USA

<center> [[Image:Flag_of_gurren_australia_2.png|180px]] '''HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!''' [[Image:Flag_of_gurren_australia_2.png|180px]]

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZpo7H1hIp4&feature=PlayList&p=CC965C58461014A4&index=0&playnext=1 Australian Senator Nick Xen<strike>u</strike>ophon is asking for a Senate review of Scientology's tax free status]. It could lose it in Australia, and also in the UK where it's tax free because it is recognized in Australia. This was unleashed by Scientology [http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/questions-over-scientologys-19-calls-in-48-hours-before-110000volt-suicide-20091027-hih7.html trying to cover up a suicide they caused in Brisbane].

[[Image:Nick xenophon.jpg|500px]]
</center>

==Gallerology==

{{cg|Screencaps|screencapgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Scientology 711chan.jpg
Image:Scifagdown.jpg|We are Legion
Image:Scientology.orgdown.png|Scientology.org, crashed again by anon on 21:st
Image:Ebaumslol.jpg|Slashdot knows who is really behind this.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:BAWWWWWWWscifag.JPG|[[lolicon]] and [[cake]] ARE EXCELLENT RESPONSES TO ANONYMOUS
Image:Scientology lawl1.jpg
Image:Sciraid3.JPG|Use this for flooding again
Image:Times Online.png|The pressure is on
Image:Scipoll.jpg
Image:DrKennethNoisewater.jpg|listen to this man, he is a doctor.
Image:7chan redacted.png|[[X? In My Y?|Drama? In ''my'' 7chan?]]
Image:Gfhgfhgfhsci.jpg
Image:Sekritundergroundhaxersz.jpg
Image:Scino.jpg|Facts...Riiiight.
Image:Scilontroll1.jpg|[[I_Am_In_Your_Base_Killing_Your_D00ds|I am in your newsgroup, enturbulating your Clams...]]
Image:Scilontroll2.jpg|A [[Scientology|Scilon]] responds...
Image:Vmaskdianetics.jpg|Recently viewed on Amazon
</gallery>
|}}

{{cg|Dox and News Clips|doxandclipsgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Guznerlolsuit1.png|[http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/1017081guzner1.html lolsuit]
Image:Guznerlolsuit2.png|[http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/1017081guzner1.html lolsuit]
Image:Failedintimidation.jpg|Knock It The Fuck Off letter from CoS's Britfag lawyers
Image:5000Bounty.jpg|$5000 Bounty
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Lulz tology.jpg|Hosting Scientology videos is [[serious business|srs bsns]]
Image:Cruisegoebbels2.jpg|Tom Cruise addresses the media after the raid.
Image:XEMU LATimes.gif|XEMU in the LA Times, 1985
Image:120511312384.gif|IS IT CAN BE PSYCHIATRIC CARE TIEM NOW PLEES ?
Image:War on Scientology.jpg|This is relevant to my interests
Image:LegalnoticeCoS1.jpg
Image:LegalNotivceCoS2.jpg
Image:XEMU LATimes.gif|XEMU in the LA Times, 1985
Image:Pseudoscientific cult.gif|Funny LA Times article, 1963
Image:SciFraud.GIF|Funny NY Times article, 1963
Image:Cos_news.jpg|Delicious publicity!

</gallery>
|}}

{{cg|Flyers and Posters|postersandflyersgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:EpicNoseGuyPoster1web.jpg|Much Respect!
Image:Chanologyposter.jpg
Image:POSTERSOWNAGE.JPG|Anonymous in the attack
Image:Elli_ad_2.jpg|77 times!
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:SciCopyright.jpg
Image:Sciposter2.jpg
Image:Stopthem.jpg
Image:Stronglycriticize.jpg
Image:Seizethehand.jpg
Image:Knowthedifference.png|Know the Difference!
Image:Master_Chanology_Chart.jpg|Nice mysteriously ominous looking poster to scare scifags with, post this shit everywhere
Image:lordxenu.jpg|lol xenu
Image:Uncle_anon.jpg
Image:Xenu_33835_USD.jpg
Image:Xenuiswithanon.jpg|Print it out poster-sized and spread it around town
Image:bigwin.JPG |deconversion poster
Image:Learntruth.jpg |public education poster
Image:Anonflyer9000.jpg|Flyer for college a college campus
Image:my_anonymous.jpg|Flyer for anywhere
</gallery>
|}}

{{cg|Moar Images|moargallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Scientologyclosed3thumbbbbbbb.png
Image:Wheresxenu.png|You might well ask.
Image:Defythehubbard.jpg
Image:Bitches don't know bout my thetans.jpg|PIMPIN' MAH DC-8S SINCE 23,064,000,000 B.C.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Anonymous_Bikini_Model.jpg|Anonymous: We are your Bikini Models.
Image:GoogleSci.GIF|Good For Putting up/handing out just about any where.
Image:Anonpwningscientology.jpg|HelloKitty: Expect Her.
Image:Protestfags1.jpg|retards get duped into being PERSONAL ARMY
Image:Motivational1b.jpg|Anonymous: Expect Us.
Image:AnonymousSP.jpg
Image:UpstartMotivationalED.jpg|We Support Anonymous.
Image:Ot3.jpg|Xenu initiating a new OT III
Image:Tom-cruise_is_V.jpg|The true [[EFG ]] mask
Image:sciencefagmap.png|Map of scientology on the internets
Image:IFamily.jpg|Mr.Miscarrage, iz phix'd u're iPod firmwearz, kthxbye
Image:Torysouthpark3.jpg
Image:cruise_thetans.jpg|
Image:Chanology.jpg|The Offishul Project Chanology blazer crest
Image:FairGame.jpg|Scifag fairgame policy.
Image:SciVan.jpg|The raids quickly seemed to be having an impact
Image:VMasks1.jpg
Image:EFGAnon.jpg
Image:Resemblance.jpg|
Image:Defythehubbard.jpg
Image:DONOTWANTLRON.jpg|HAI LRON, I HAZ FIXD UR TITL
Image:Not_Crazoids_doctored.jpg|Perfectly Sane. Really.
Image:Enturbulate.jpg|lol how do i enturbulated?
Image:Wherreeee.jpg|Do you exist, Old Bean?
Image:COSKILLS.jpg|It's true you know.
Image:I_support2.jpg
Image:Project_chanology2.jpg
Image:PC-CoSplay.jpg
Image:Websites.jpg
Image:EFGLegion.jpg|Scare scifags with this download.
Image:Tomfap.gif
Image:Csscientology.jpg|A great spray for Counter Strike.
Image:Squirreltech.jpg
Image:DC8 JOY.jpg
Image:Scio_pvs.jpg|Scissors am wins
Image:notpayin.jpg
Image:V-for-Vendetta.jpg|March on, Anon.
Image:Make_your_time.jpg|It You!
Image:Hubbard on fire.JPG|Kill it with fire!
Image:SafeSects.jpg
Image:XenuCake.jpg|Portal Cake! download and print for Xenu!
Image:Xenu.jpg|Oh Fuck It's Xenu
Image:FUCKSCIENTOLOGY.JPG|This guy is epic win.
Image:HappyBDayRon.png|Delicious Anon-Cake!
Image:Asterixonscientology2.jpg|Listen to the scruffy French pagan, kids!
Image:Anomnomnom.jpg|Anonymous in discussion with Enturbulationfags.
Image:Scientology_beliefs.gif|An Illustrated History of Scientology: Second Edition -- L. Rick Vodicka
Image:Lronbeetus.jpg
Image:Anon-dict-fail.jpg|Protestfag fails to understand the meaning of "anonymous"
</gallery>}}

== See Also ==

* [[The Chanology Experiments]]
* [[Rules of the Chanology]]
* [[Scientology Speedrunning]]

== External Links ==

{{4chanarchive|51051816|Scientology Raid?|51134054|Project Chanology|51569060|Message to Scientology|51893685|Anon on TV|52158619|More on anon vs scientology|52314802|Alleged Scientology response to Anon|52886416|The Economist on Project Chanology|53531634|scientology raid – dublin|53547778|scientology raid – toronto|53538580|scientology raid – tottenham & london|53552327|scientology raid – nyc anons swarm nyc scifag president|53546511|scientology raid – Pittsburgh|53559812|scientology raid – dallas|53565328|scientology raid – definitive headcount|53582257|scientology raid – definitive headcount (updated)|53607086|scientology raid – nz fail guys|align=right}}
* [[Wikipedia:Project Chanology|Project Chanology]] on [[Wikipedia]]
* [http://www.anonnewswire.org AnonNewsWire - updates on Chanology as they happen]
* [http://forums.whyweprotest.net Worldwide organizing centre for anti-Scientology protests and white-hat operations run by a federal informant]
* [http://www.modemac.com/cos Introduction to Scientology] (plus a look at [http://www.modemac.com/wiki/ANONYMOUS Anonymous])
* [http://theunfunnytruth.ytmnd.com/ The Unfunny Truth: Bitches don't know bout my murders.]
* <s>[http://insurgen.info/wiki/Project_Chanology Project Chanology @ Insurgency Wiki]</s> (BALEETED) {{wayback|http://insurgen.info/wiki/Project_Chanology}}
* <s>[http://publications.mediapost.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=Articles.showArticleHomePage&art_aid=74785 Gawker Faces Heat from CoS]</s> (BALEETED) {{wayback|http://publications.mediapost.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=Articles.showArticleHomePage&art_aid=74785}}
* <s>[http://www.scanchan.org/xenu/ /xenu/]</s> (BALEETED)
* <s>[http://meowmacao.blogspot.com GLORY MARCABIA]</s> ([[BLANKING IN PROGRESS]]!)

{{chanology}}
{{scientology}}
{{epic}}
{{trolls}}
{{Timeline|Featured article January 19, [[2008]]|[[Corey Worthington]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[iRONAS]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article January 27, [[2008]]|[[Australia]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Tracing]]}}
[[Category:Anonymous]]
[[Category:Chanology| ]]
[[Category:2008]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
[[Category:Galleries]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Operations]]

Leah Remini

2026-05-14T03:27:06Z

The PolishPrince: /* See Also */

[[File:Leah remini wet shirt.jpg|thumb|right|300px|She's such a boring cow, she wears a bra for a wet shirt photo-shoot]]

[[File:Cthulhu rain.jpeg|thumb|right|300px|Follow me kids. I promise that the H. P. Lovecraft books are much better]]

For the most part, people that sign up for [[Scientology]] are people that have become disenfranchised with their religion and fearing the [[atheist|giant spaghetti monster]] answer of when you're [[dead]] your [[pwnt|dead]] they usually sign up for a new belief that promises an afterlife and claims to be compatible with [[science]] or they are wannabe [[Nazi]]s that have no problem paying out [[money|millions of dollars]] a year to have someone tell them they are special and better than all the other hairless monkeys that have ever walked on the planet [[Earth]].<br>

For the most part, they're [[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|mostly harmless]] and boring just going through life looking to feed their [[arrogant|narcissic personalities]] by throwing money at someone who will tell them that they are so exceptional and interesting that in the whole [[Carl Sagan|14 Billion year]] history of the universe that [[religion|G-D]] or rather [[Scientology|Xenu]] will keep them alive after their death. Most are like this with a few exceptions and the most exceptional is <b>Leah Remini</b>.

Much like [[John Travolta]] in ''Saturday Night Fever'', Leah is trying to bring back a fad that is near dead. Done much better by shows like [[South Park]], the hacker group [[Anonymous]] and websites like Operation Clambake, Leah Remini thinks that if she climbs on the [[Scientology]] is evil bandwagon and joins in on the popular past time of [[troll|trolling]] Tom Cruise that she can bring back to life a career that could best be described as an almost 10 year fad when people actually watched [[Shit|King of Queens]].

== Her Career As An Actor ==

[[File:Leah remini saved by the bell.jpg|thumb|right|300px|You have to admit, she looked pretty good on Saved by the Bell, too bad it didn't last. It's like someone slammed the ugly window on her face, but where G-D closes a window :) She does have a nice body]]

[[File:Leah remini classic look.jpg|thumb|right|300px|And right here we have the look that will define her for the rest of her life, show off a huge shiny forhead and try to look like an Italian/Jewish Bronx whore cross breed]]

[[Mind Blown|You mean she had one?]] Most people tend to believe that to be able to say you have a career doing something you should be able to consistently be able to rely on said skill for a long period of time.<br>

Max Von Sydow is a career actor. [[Gun|Charlton Heston]] was a career actor. [[Man|Ernest Hemmingway]] was a career writer. For most of her life, Leah Remini was at best a bit actor that was only capable of getting bit parts in [[shit|less than popular]] shows like [[Alcohol|Cheers]] and [[1980s|Saved By The Bell]].<br>

It wasn't until 1998 when she was tossed a [[pity sex|pity fuck]] and was cast in the King of Queens to be carried by talent like Kevin James and Jerry Stiller to simply play the pair of [[boobs|tits]] that Kevin James' character Doug Heffernan is unfortunately married to. Due to her inability to [[autistic|convey emotion]] or speak in anything other than monotone, if it weren't for much better actors, as I have said Jerry Stiller, this show wouldn't have lasted as long as it did.<br>

Much like most had predicted, when the show ended Leah Remini was out of a job and facing few to very little future prospects that didn't include [[porn]]. Much like the half Italian she is getting pinched by a prosecutor, she quickly sold out everything she claimed to stand for and jumped on the <b>"I Hate $cientology,"</b> bandwagon with her other [[Jew|Jewish]] half screaming <b>"Money! Money! Money!"</b><br>

== Troublemaker ==

[[File:Leah remini trouble maker4.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|Buy the book. She needs the money. Also, why does her book jacket look like a box for hair dye?]]

[[File:Leah remini couch pic.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|Being a stuck up [[bitch]] this is about all she'll let you see of her tits]]

Some time in 2013, Leah Remini's carreer was at an all time low and following her agent's advice, she looked to drum up some publicity for free advertisement to make her relative and hirable again.<br>

[[Tom Cruise|Short]] on cash because she just paid her [[Scientology]] dues and freshly [[butthurt]] over the fact that [[Scientology|David Miscavige]] flunked her a bridge level and took away some of her super powers like [[insane|mind reading and flight]] she felt it was time to embrace the role of playing junky's regret by blaming the dealer but never the drug or herself.<br>

Her book read's like every "''I Escaped A Cult''" [[Mary Sue]] books whether it be from the [[Begging|Moonies]] Unification Church, [[Charles Manson|The Manson Family]], [[Kool-Aid|Jonestown]] or [[An Hero|Heaven's Gate]].<br>

Leah Remini was a Naive, wide eyed innocent child who was brought into the fold by her parents as a wee child and because she was so young at her age of [[Brainwashing|indoctranation]], she took everything she was told as the truth. [[L. Ron Hubbard]] was god. The [[Sea Org]] [[loli|girl's]] uniform of hotpants, no panties, no bra and a tied hillbilly shirt that ended exactly 2 and three-quarter inches below the nipple was functional and respectable. Everything $cientology leaders said was the truth whether it be educating the [[nigger|inner city]] about [[drug]]s and helping addicts quit, opening schools in [[Shithole|Third world shitholes]] to teach poor farmers sustainable farming techniques or that the movie version of ''Battlefield Earth'' wouldn't be filled with plot holes, bad acting, Deus Ex Machina and a laughable premise.<br>

Much like every junkie or cult victim before her, Leah Remini tries to reduce her involvement, role as a member and place herself solely in the role of that of the victim. For instance, it is a well known fact that if you you belonged to a Leah Remini fan club or wrote her a letter asking for a picture when she was in $cientology you would be placed on a [[Scientology]] mailing list and receive flyers in the mail every other week. She actively harassed fellow actors Kevin James and Jerry Stiller into joining Scientology, to paraphrase Jerry Stiller - he drew her pictures of what she could do as a way to politely say no. She actively campaigned for money donations for $cientology. Like everyone to ever play the victim, Leah Remini tries to reduce her involvement by never even talking about putting her fan club members on Scientology mailing lists or plays the [[Fallacious reasoning|babe in the woods routine]] saying that she didn't know the whole dark [[evil]] that Scientology was all about and they used her [[virgin|innocence]] against her.<br>

=== Her Conversion To Catholicism ===

[[File:Buddy+Christ-11.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]

After leaving Scientology, Leah Remini has admitted to converting to the [[Catholic|Catholic Faith]].<br>

Being from a cult like $cientology that has rampant accusations of [[Child Molester|child molestation]], waging wars against people of different faiths, buying your way out of sin and long confessions where you are expected to tell someone your deepest and darkest secrets, [[Catholic|Catholicism]] must seem pretty familiar to her and why she chose it.

=== Leah Remini Vs. Tom Cruise ===

[[File:Tom cruise jet pice.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|His publicists say that if we want to use this picture we have to say that he's not gay with a straight face and without laughing. Expect it to be taken down]]

We'll be the first to admit that if G-D ever put a [[Midget|midget]] on this Earth and meant for everyone to [[Lulz|point and laugh]] at him it would be [[Tom Cruise]].<br>

It's understandable that $cientology's celebrity members are mostly has-beens like [[Beck]], [[Fat|Kirstie Alley]], [[whore|Juliette Lewis]], [[loser|Danny Masterson]], or [[nigger|Doug E. Fresh]] and it's only relevant members are minor celebrities like Bart Simpson's voice [[The Simpsons|Nancy Cartwright]] or <b>The reason I'm still famous is because [[your mom]] [[masturbate|schlicks]] to me in reruns of ''Welcome Back Kotter'' [[gay|John Travolta]]</b>.<br>

Having no real bankable celebrities in their ranks anymore it's understandable why Leah Remini focusses on him but most people will agree with some of her critics that her obsession with him borders on that of a [[Apocalypse|fat kid staring down the last donut on a plate]].<br>

== Aftermath ==

[[File:Leah remini stuff magazine.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Member Star Wars? Member The Matrix? Member when I used to look like this? Hire me, please, I need the money]]

[[File:Leah remini black and white.jpg|thumb|right|250px|I'm using black and white for my publicity shots because experts agree that people appear more truthful and believable in black and white.]]

[[File:Leah remini sit white dresst.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Is it me or is her forhead getting higher or is it the facelifts pulling her hairline back?]]

Aftermath is Leah Remini's cash cow and where she pretends to play investigative journalist but loses all sense of objectivity even before the first episode is over.<br>

In it, she claims that she has [[education|learned]] all the lessons that [[Scientology]] has taught her and she will [[troll|readily use all their tactics]] against them.<br>

In every episode Leah Remini accuses Scientology of [[liar|lying]], propaganda and misinformation, fabricating events, [[bribery]] and out and out being very bad people.<br>

As a viewer watching this show, how are we to believe her as being a [[truth|truthful critic]] of Scientology when she has openly claimed that she will take the worst lessons that Scientology has ever taught her and use them against them? And she does.<br>

Go to her [[Twatter]], [[Tumblr]] or [[Facebook]] and ask a question she doesn't like, for instance - her taking her fan club mailing lists and handing them over to Scientology, and she'll ignore you. If you assume that maybe the [[Question mark|question]] was lost in all the posts and make an assload of accounts to ask the same question so she can see it, she'll block each and every one of them because you are only allowed to talk about what she allows.<br>

When ''Aftermath'' first started, Leah actively encouraged her [[twitter]] followers to [[troll]] known [[Scientologist]], like [[Fat|Kirstie Alley]], twitter accounts with advertisements for her ''Aftermath'' show.
Funny, yes but not the behaviour you expect from someone who is looking to expose such an evil [[cult]]. <br>

As an intelligent group, we in no way support $cientology but we do believe that if you're going to accuse someone or something of evil then your [[basement|backyard]] better be kept immaculately clean and when you use a showrunner like [http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/kkk-leaders-allege-producers-paid-them-to-fake-scenes-in-canceled-ae-documentary-exclusive-1201950078/ Myles Reiff] who is best known for being accused of paying sources to read scripts and follow a predetermined narrative on the A&E show ''Generation KKK'' your devotion to the truth is [[Debate|debatable]].<br>

== Why We Can't Trust Her ==

[[File:David miscavage Scientology uniform.jpg|thumb|right|250px|They
want you. They want you. They want you as a new recruit. In the Navy]]

[[File:Leah remini aftermath 2a.jpg|thumb|right|250px|We're all back for ''Aftermath 2: Leah Needs More Money]]

Some have accuse Leah Remini of seeing herself as the [[Scientology]] version of [[Catholic|Martin Luther]] and the minute [[Midget|David Miscavige]] is out of power and someone she agrees with has taken his place, she'll be on her knees and praying in front of [[Tom Cruise]] for forgiveness and to take her back into tge fold.<br>

The main reason people give for this is, is for heading up a show like ''Aftermath'' that is so obviously biased, subjective and having an agenda Leah herself never says anything bad about $cientology, letting others do it for her.<br>

When the ''Aftermath'' show first started, some fans went to her twitter account and asked her what R2-45 was in $cientology. To be fair, people like the angry midget [[Tom Cruise]] will say it was a joke by [[L. Ron Hubbard]] but sane people don't joke about killing people when they know modern electronic recording devices are on. R2-45 is defined as '''Being the most effective way to exercise a suppresive person from their thetans and consits of two .45 rounds from an M1911A1 into the back of the SP's head'''.<br>
Leah herself never defined it and just put up a link to [[Wikipedia]] or Xenu.org. This is a consistant behaviour with her, she never says anything bad about $cientology and lets other's do it for her. If you listen to her, her whole break with $cientology really has little to do with it being a cult and more to do with the fact that she just doesn't like [[Tom Cruise|Tom Thumb's]] wannabe [[Internet Tough Guy|tough guy]] twin David Miscavige.<br>

Where many have a problem with Leah Remini's personal character is how she wants you to believe that she hasn't made a single dollar from trolling $cientology. Nobody can find any info about what she makes for ''Aftermath'' but conservative estimates had her receiving $Five-million dollars as an advance for ''Troublemaker'' and more [[libtard|liberal]], or rather the [[retard]]s from $cientology claim it to be around 20 to 30 million dollars.<br>

To give this some perspective, former President [[Obama]] was offered an advance of 16-Million for his memoirs. Few can believe five-million for ''Troublemaker'' but most experts believe Leah Remini makes the cut for anything in the ballpark of the $7-million mark.<br>

Everything about her says Leah Remini is untrustworthy and few, except for her retarded fan base, can extend her any trust because, like every Hollywood [[Liberal]] with an agenda, she imagines herself as the recent incarnation [[Catholic|St. Francis of Assisi]] and would have us believe that she is protecting the world by exposing $cientology for altruistic reasons and paying for it all out of her own pocket when in truth, she's making some damn good money from her organized idiot convention.<br>

Like the popular meme against our [[Trump|mighty god-emperor messiah and savior of the USA]], let's demand the Leah Remini show us her tax returns from 2012 until today so we all can see how much of a financial low blow she is taking while doing this.<br>

== See Also ==

* [[Scientology]]
* [[Scientology Speedrunning]]
* [[insane|Batshit Crazy]]
* [[Tom Cruise]]
* [[Susan J. Elliott]]
* [[Cult]]
* [[Religion]]
* [[Victim complex]]
* [[Fraud]]
* [[Lies]]
* [[Brainwashing]]
* [[Money]]
* [[Skank]]
* [[Psychology]]
* [[Sea Org]]
* [[Catholic]]
* [[Beck]]
* [[Unfunny|The King of Queens]]
* [[Faggot|John Travolta]]
* [[Pedophile|L. Ron Hubbard]]
* [[Atheist]]
* [[Attention Whore]]
* [[Drama queen]]
* [[anti-lulz]]
* [[Drama]]
* [[Free Speech]]
* [[Freedom of speech]]

== External Links ==
* {{Twitter|LeahRemini|Her Twitter}}

* {{fb|LeahReminiOfficial|Her Facebook}}

* [http://www.leahremini.com/ Her Website]

* {{instagram|leahremini|Her Instagram}}

{{truth}}

{{scientology}}

{{cults}}

{{Social Media}}

{{trolls}}

{{Religions}}

{{Television}}

{{Whores}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Faggotry]]

L. Ron Hubbard

2026-05-14T03:26:18Z

The PolishPrince: /* See Also */

{{Scilonintro}}
{{offended}}
[[File:Vegetable scientist.jpg|300px|thumb|left]]
{{ib|
[[File:Lronmadden.jpg|400px]]}}
{{Ibhead|''I AM THE PROPHET OF GOD!''}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''L. Ron "Xenu" Hubbard'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|March 13, 1911}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|January 24, 1986 (aged 74)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality'''|[[American|Americunt]] [[File:MiniflagUSA.png|21px]] }}
{{Ibrow|'''Occupation'''|[[Engineer|Civil Engineer]], [[Book|Author]], [[Srs bsnss|Srs Businessman]].}}
{{Ibrow|'''Religion name'''|''Scientology''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Preceded by'''|[[Joseph Smith]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Followed by'''|???}}
{{Ibrow|'''Current location'''|Trementina Base, [[New Mexico]], USA}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nicknames'''|
*LRH
*Xenu}}
{{Ibend}}
[[image:Lronheader.jpg|center]]

[[File:Resistance meter.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>L Ron, the great reinventer of the resistance meter. Yours for $2,900</center>]]

[[File:Hubbo2.jpg|thumb|1000px|right]]
[[Image:Grades.gif|thumb|Clearly, L. Ron Hubbard was a FUCKING genius.]]

[[Image:Evil-Hubbard-and-Mini-Me-scavige.jpg|thumb|300px|'''L. Ron''' and his sidekick [[David Miscarriage|Mini-Miscavige]].]]

'''[[Fucktard|L. Ron Hubbard (AKA, Lumpy Ron Humpard)]]''' a complete cock smoakin' faggot that was a criminally-minded, wife-beating, drug-using, paranoid-schizophrenic, alcoholic, abortionist and [[satanist]] with an [[Sea Org|unhealthy obsession with sailors]], who publicly admittedly that he created Scientology just as a means of making money. Which he did. Hubbard performed several [[abortions]] on his wife with a coat hanger. This is because he was trying to conceive the "moonchild" or a human infant possessed by the anti-Christ. He performed many satanic rituals on his wife. Hubbard didn't worship Satan, he thought he WAS Satan!

However if you are a brainwashed [[Scientologist|Scientologist]] then you actually believe he was the [[Raptor Jesus|savior of mankind]], bringing [[enlightenment]] to the masses for a [[Over 9000|nominal fee]]. If you think that, then you believe that he was a [[Bullshit|War Hero]], a [[TL;DR|fantastic writer]], and the founder of a [[Lie|major religion]] with thousands of [[sheep|loyal adherents]]. You also think that the current wave of [[PROJECT CHANOLOGY|protests]] are the work of [[Marcab Confederacy|evil space aliens]] looking to [[Drama bomb|destroy the world]]. If you believe all that bullshit then you are a Niacin-eating, dictionary-crying, fake-smile giving complete [[Fucktard|Douchebag]] that has severe emotional problems and are totally gullible giving all your money to a [[cult]].

Hubbard hated income taxes with a fury and all his sci-fi stories (e.g. [[Marcab Confederacy]]) treated it like the worst thing ever. But which would you rather have: income tax or [[pwn|all the yellow traffic lights reduced to lasting a fifth-second and machines giving everyone automated red-light-running tickets]]? Hubbard's confirmed violent mental illnesses spawned much of Scientology's criminality. Sometime in the 1940's, Ronnie was diagnosed by at least 2 professionals, as being paranoid, and schizophrenic.

==The Early Years==
'''Lafayette Ronald Hubbard''' (Known as Ronnie-winkle to Mrs. Hubbard who looked in her cupboard and saw her son fucking a child.), was born [[at least 100 years ago]] in [[Boring|beautiful]] [[Kansas]] into an ultra - orthodox Hasidic Jewish family. His parents later moved with young LRH to [[Boring|even more beautiful]] [[Wyoming]]. LRH proved to have a very active imagination - fostered by the fact that there's nothing to do in all of Wyoming except [[Mr. Hands|horse-on-man lovin']]. According to LRH's various [[fanfic|original biographies]], by the time LRH began school, he had become a successful [[Heath Ledger|cowboy]], a [[Ninja|world class fighter]], a [[Mega ultra super genius|literary scholar]], a nun, and a [[Native American|member of the local Indian tribe]]. Beat that [[Jesus]], you fucking [[twink]].

[[Image:Hubbard Needs Money.jpg|center|frame]]

Lolfail's family moved to [[Washington]] when L. Ron was 10. Soon after, a young L. Ron joined the ranks of proud Eagle Scouts like [[God hates fags|Fred Phelps]], [[an hero|Charles Whitman]], and [[Wal-Mart|Sam Walton]]. Or maybe he didn't. The Boy Scouts have no record of him doing this, but this is probably just a part of a huge [[Loose Change|conspiracy to hide the truth]].

==[[College]] and Becoming [[lie|A War Hero]]==

[[Image:Lronbaby.jpg|thumb|right| [[Y helo thar]]]]

[[Image:Lrh exposure1.jpg|thumb|Exposed on [[YouTube]].]]

[[File:LRonHubbard.png|thumb]]

L. Ron enrolled in an [[Vandalize Every Equation|engineering]] program at George Washington University. In a little over two years he managed to earn [[idiot|Ds]] and [[Fail|Fs]] in about half of his classes. However, this didn't stop L. Ron.

Oh, wait, yeah it did. LRH, looking to do something [[Gay|patriotic]] for his country, joined the Naval [[W|Reserves]] in 1941. According to L. Ron, when Pearl Harbor happened he was fighting off Japanese invaders in Java - where he was wounded and earned a [[Vox Dramatica prize|Purple Heart]], the [[Unwarranted self importance|first one earned in the whole of WWII]]. According to Navy records, L. Ron Was in [[New York City]] on December 7th, demonstrating that L. Ron's biographers should really [[Check your facts|learn to use Google]]. Or maybe Hubbard was fighting for the Japanese, making him in fact the ultimate [[wapanese|weeaboo]]!

===[[Japan|You're a sap, Mr. Jap!]]===
L. Ron's military achievements look a lot like every known [[EDiot]]'s genitalia: long and distinguished. LRH's first command assignment lasted a grand total of [[Facepalm|one exercise]] before the Naval evaluator assigned to LRH declared "[[FGSFDS]]!!" and stripped it away from him. L. Ron's second naval assignment didn't last much longer. On the very first day he got command of the boat, L. Ron swore he found a Japanese submarine off the coast of Oregon. LRH, sensing an opportunity for [[300|eternal glory]] [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|launched every single piece of munitions he had]] into the [[Nothing|prowling enemy]]. Then, wanting to share the glory, LRH called for [[Habbo Hotel|/b/lackup in the form of four more boats and two blimps]]. The reinforcements confirmed that:
#There wasn't any wreckage anywhere.
#LRH had "found" the subs over a [[Trap|magnetic anomaly that might be confused for submarines]].
#LRH was a fucking [[noob]].
#LRH was missing half his brain.

LRH later talked about the incident to Scifags:

{{quote|I dropped the I-76 [sunk off the Solomon Islands three years after the incident] or the [[What|Imperial Japanese Navy Trans-Pacific Submarine]] [[Fellatio|down into the mouth]] of the Columbia River, dead duck. And it [[Cockmongler|went down with a resounding furor]]. And that was that. I never thought about it again particularly except to [[Butthurt|get mad at all the admirals I had to make reports to because of this thing]], [[Amirite|see]]? This was one out of seventy-nine separate actions that I had to do with. [[Truth|And it had no significance, see?]] But the other day I was kind of tired, and my dad suddenly sprung on me the fact that my [[Lie|submarine had been causing a tremendous amount of difficulty in the mouth of the Columbia River]]. Hadn't thought about this thing for years|[[LOL WUT]]}}

===Coronado Incident===
A month later, with one [[Mortal Kombat|flawless victory]] under his belt, LRH decided to take his [[Pirate|scurvy dogs]] out for some [[Vtech|target shooting]]. Unfortunately for LRH, he chose to anchor in [[Mexico|Mexican territorial waters]] and use land owned by [[Mexico]] and inhabited by [[Mexicans]] as his intended target. This caused an international situation akin to [[The Great Em/b/assy Security Leak of 2007]]. Had LRH simply [[Wikimapia|consulted a fucking map]] he might have avoided [[You fail it|shelling an allied nation]]. The Navy, now notably pissed, invoked the [[banhammer]] upon L. Ron and took away his [[ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOAT|boat]]. Habeeb it. LRH didn't quit, [[Peter Jennings died, so I'm going to quit smoking|despite a wealth of evidence that he should]]. On his next assignment, he uncovered a [[Paranoid|terrorist plot to destroy the boat]], finding a Molotov cocktail in the hold. The captain politely listened to Hubbard and told him to [[In the kitchen|get the fuck back into the kitchen where he belonged]].

[[Image:120511312384.gif|thumb|right| IS IT CAN BE PSYCHIATRIC CARE TIEM NOW PLEES?]]

LRH's other career highlights included:
*[[Argent009|Collecting government money for injuries]] even after he claimed to become a disease-free thetan-clear [[Scientologist]].
*Seeking psychiatric help for [[depression]].
**[[LOL]] [[Irony]].
*Claiming to have earned 21 separate medals, when he had earned only 6.
**Also claimed to have earned medals the navy [[Facepalm|doesn't even award]]. Whoops.
*Being arrested for check fraud.
**Writing the [[FBI]] for help fighting [[Communist]] spies who were framing him. This earned him a special [[Insane|"Fucking crazy"]] gold star in his FBI file.
*Graduating solidly in the [[Retard|bottom half]] of all his training classes.
*Single-handedly inventing, building and launching [[Penis|The Hubbard Telescope]].

==Fighting [[Witch]]es==
Somewhere in between [[Lie|defeating the Japanese]] and [[Lie|saving America]], LRH must have obtained his degree in the [[Harry Potter|Defense against the Dark Arts]]. The government - noting his [[Shit|amazing]] performance in WWII - hired him to infiltrate the [[cult]] known as the [[Goatse|Agape]] Lodge. L. Ron was to square off against some [[DivineAngel|uber-leet witches]] associated with crackpot jerkoff Aleister Crowley. In reality, Hubbard probably met Parsons because Parsons was active in the local Science Fiction scene. Hubbard would later plagiarize the shit out of the group when forming the mystical part of his own [[cult]]...er...[[religion]]. Hubbard sank the Lodge by convincing the lodge's master, the [[Drugs|completely burnt out]] Jack Parsons to give him his money and his boat. Parsons was like L. Ron minus the [[bullshit]]. He actually was a genius of sorts, helping to create the Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena and developing several types of fuel later used in the space race. Parsons really liked acid, though, so the genius was dampened a little bit. LRH and Parsons [[Gay|hit it off rather well]] at first, working together on concepts of space and time later perfected by the minds behind the [[Timecube]]. Parsons and LRH went out into the desert to invoke the spirit of Babalon into manifestation, and LRH served as the seer, receiving the vision and communicating it to Parsons. This eventually lead to Parsons declaring himself to be the Antichrist and suffering a general nervous breakdown. LRH ended up taking most of Parson's money and Parson's one time [[girlfriend]]. Crowley laughed off the loss, as he was already rich as hell anyway. However, Crowley had called L. Ron Hubbard out in correspondence with the lodge, labeling LRH a con artist. L. Ron, however, was set on course to found his own religion. Agape lodge had lots of drugs floating around it and interesting sexual arrangements, reportedly including an act of bestiality that was filmed by the members and possible incest between Parsons and his mother.

==Dianetics and [[Scientology]]==

[[Image:Lrontrippin.jpg|left|thumb|L. Ron Hubbard agrees, [[Rick James|cocaine IS one hell of a drug]].]]

[[Image:Lronmadden.jpg|thumb|right|Hubbard [[cosplay]]ing as the Skipper from ''Gilligan's Island''.]]

[[Image:Stash3.jpg|thumb|Hubbard's personal stash on a bad day, usually it's twice that.]]

By the early 1950s, LRH had developed a new system of religion. Cribbed mostly from the work of Crowley, Parsons, and other science fiction writers, he developed a new theory on human behavior known as Dianetics. This astounding new theory was first published in the most respected journal of religion available at this time: ''Astounding Science Fiction''.

Despite harsh criticism from both religious leaders and science fiction writers, L. Ron developed his theory into a religion. At the core was a bunch of [[TL;DR]] theories regarding flying saucers, little green men, tax collectors, and evil psychologists. Truthfully, [[Nobody|who the fuck cares]]? LRH was the real draw. Charming, enigmatic, and a habitual liar, LRH made his religion look like the most cutting-edge philosophy in [[Hippie|Beat Era America]]. LRH started earning [[Dongs|money]] hand over fist, earning hundreds of million dollars in the span of a few short years.

LRH didn't have one thing he really needed at this point: tax exemption. [[The man|The IRS]] came a knocking one day, looking for their cut of LRH's mounting wealth. LRH responded by taking the core of his church and moving them onto a cruise ship, thus founding the Sea Org. He patrolled the open seas, [[Drugs|expanding his horizons]] and [[Pedo|fucking the children of his brainwashed minions]]. Also, since LRH was now an [[Bullshit|enlightened being]], he didn't need to see doctors anymore. His health spiraled out of control. He smoked opium and abused [[Hypocrite|the same psychoactive drugs he prohibited his own adherents from using]]. His absolutely fucked up condition eventually drove him back to land. But the damage was done. Towards the end years of L. Ron Hubbard's life, he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, and psychotic delusions. When Hubbard was made aware of his mental state, he begged the Veterans Administration for help. When this request was denied, he developed a violent hatred for psychiatry. When Hubbard's insanity worsened, because of his insanity, he wrote the violent criminal and murderous scriptures and guidelines for Scientology bosses and executives, such as the fair game policy, and auditing process R2-45 (SP is to be shot with two rounds from a 45 caliber revolver). Which spawned most, if not all of the churches criminality and often violent criminal and fraudulent nature. According to Hubbard's secret scriptures, Scientology was created #1 to make money from it's victims, and #2 to "obliterate" psychiatry.

==[[Death]]==

[[Image:Lronreborn.jpg|left|thumb|He said he'd come back.]]

L. Ron lived on in a drug-addled haze for about another decade. Probably the best example of how people felt about him was in the way they treated his death. His second in command by this point, [[David Miscarriage]], delivered a tearful eulogy two days after his death:

{{quote|Thus, at 2000 hours, Friday 24 January 1986, L. Ron Hubbard discarded the body he had used in this lifetime for seventy-four years, ten months and eleven days. The body he had used to facilitate his existence in this universe had ceased to be useful and in fact had become an impediment to the work he now must do outside its confines. The being we knew as L. Ron Hubbard still exists. Although you may feel grief, understand that he did not, and does not now. He has simply moved on to his next step. LRH in fact used this lifetime and body we knew to accomplish what no man has ever accomplished - he unlocked the mysteries of life and gave us the tools so we could free ourselves and our fellow men.|[[David Miscarriage]], sucking some [[dead]] [[man]] [[cock]].}}

According to Scientologists, Hubbard is living his life on another planet.

{{quote|Hubbard suffered further ill-health, including chronic pancreatitis, during his residence at Whispering Winds. He suffered a fatal stroke on January 17, 1986, and died a week later. The body was cremated following an autopsy, and the ashes were scattered at sea. Scientology leaders announced that his body had become an impediment to his work and that he had decided to "drop his body" to continue his research on another planet, having "learned how to do it without a body".|[[Wikipedia]], a place where you can make up anything and get it accepted as a fact.}}

[[Image:Lrondeath.jpg|left|thumb|Now who am I going to make fun of?]]

The coroner, on the other hand, noted that Hubbard was "unkempt" in appearance with long, overgrown toenails and fingernails. They also found multiple needle marks on his [[ass]], covered by a band-aid, not to mention the dose of anti-anxiety drug in his system. The Co$, eager for the truth, promptly blocked any autopsy and [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|cremated the body]] before any further investigation could be performed. After briefly coming back as [[South Park|Stan Marsh]] it is now widely believed that L. Ron's soul is trapped in [[Xenu]]'s closet.

==Fun quotes==

{{quote|I'd like to start a religion. That's where the money is!}}

{{quote|Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion.}}

{{quote|THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN CONTROL PEOPLE IS TO LIE TO THEM. You can write that down in your book in great big letters. The only way you can control anybody is to lie to them.}}

{{quote|[[Batshit Insane|Not smoking enough will cause lung cancer!]]}}

{{quote|MAKE MONEY. MAKE MORE MONEY. MAKE OTHER PEOPLE PRODUCE SO AS TO MAKE MORE MONEY.}}

==Uh oh, Ron==
Ron's son, Ron DeWolf, talks about some [[serious business]].

Part 1:
<youtube>jIoD7iyBnps</youtube>

Part 2:
<youtube>BHSGUS6T0v0</youtube>

Part 3:
<youtube>VXsBgwWwGlw</youtube>

== MySpace Resurrection ==
The scam goes on...in MySpace:
*http://www.myspace.com/scientologyhubbard

[[Image:Lronhubbardway.jpg|center|frame|Why indeed...]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:L Ron Hubbard 34.jpg
File:Lunatic Ron Hubbard.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

== See Also ==

*[[Fraud]]
*[[Bullshit]]
*[[Deus Ex Machina]] - His books rely heavily on this.
*[[Leah Remini]]
*[[Psychiatrists]]
*[[Scientology Speedrunning]]
*[[Tom Cruise]]
*[[PROJECT CHANOLOGY]]
*[[Lies]]
*[[Harlan_Ellison]]

{{Truth}}
{{Books}}
{{Business}}
{{Science}}
{{Scientology}}
{{Otherkin}}

[[Category: People|Jeremy, Ron.L]]
[[Category:Chanology]]

Scientology Speedrunning

2026-05-14T03:24:43Z

The PolishPrince:

[[File:Scientology Davey miscavage.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Come on. Fuck with us, I dare you. I'll make sure you get to see what a $10 million a year retainer for a lawfirm can do to your poor ass</center>]]

[[File:Scientology Center Hollywood Boulevard Los Angeles 2019.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>The Church of Scientology Information Center on Hollywood Boulevard</center>]]

Just when you thought you've seen or heard everything, [[Xenu|Lord Xenu]], looking to further his battle against the [[Scientology|$cientologists]] that keep him tethered up in his intergalactic prison, if $cientology were a real religion we'd make a comparision to the [[Christianity|Archangel Michael]] and [[Satan]] but it isn't, hatched a genius plan.

Recently Lord Xenu was able to release himself from his [[Lie|electronic, wire-cage mountain trap]] (Seriously???) just long enough to put the idea of [[Speedrun|Speedrunning]] through the Church of Scientology Information Center in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California in the mind of [[TikTok|TikToker isDurpyy]] while filming himself running through the halls of the building screaming his powerful name [[Xenu]] to strike fear in all of the $cientologist's hearts. The idea that Lord Xenu implanted in isDurpyy's mind is if people will watch someone on [[Youtube]] beat [[Super Mario|Super Mario 69]] in less than 5 minutes, just think of all the views you'll get running through a Scientology building with your [[Dick]] hanging out.

Like all great ideas on the internet that get a lot of views and likes, Swhileyy wanted some of that sweet, sweet instant [[Fame|E-Fame]] and did a collaboration video with isDurpyy and on March 31, 2026 they did a video where they ran through the same $cientology building.

The video garnered over 90 million views on [[TikTok]] before [[Scientology|$cientology's]] well paid and [[Evil|Scarey]] lawyers had it removed.

So 90 million views equals, we guess, 0 [[Pussy|E-pussy]] unless they're counting a Japanese [[Hentai]] Anime and their [[Sister]]'s skin moiturizer.

Like all great things that someone else's [[Intelligence|Genius]] has brought forth such as [[McDonald's|The Drive Thru Restaurant]], The [[Batman]] Arkham Series and the [[Prison|Prison Shiv]], everyone and [[Your Mom|their Mother]] is looking to capitalize on this trend by imitating it because views and likes on a social site is more important than doing something interesting in their [[Life]] like maybe getting a [[Girlfriend]] or moving out of their Mother's basement.

<center><youtube>https://youtu.be/TbJSCQMZD4Y</youtube></center>

== Let's Get Straight To The Good Stuff ==

[[File:Scientology midget raid.jpg|right|250px]]

[[File:Tiny tom cruise stwie.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Vengence is his so says Xenu</center>]]

Since [[Scientology|$cientology]] is having videos taken down from TikTok and [[Youtube]] faster than [[You]] can finish 2 large [[New York]] style [[Pizza]]s and saying that these raids aren't happening despite their taking the outside handles off of the doors or chaining the inside doors (uh where's the fire marshal on this) of all their buildings and requiring that people be let in to their buildings only after flashing a wad of [[Money|Cash]] so we thought that we'd go straight to the best invasion before these things devolve into people getting inside the building, painting their [[Ass|Asses]] with ink and pressing them up against the walls and windows.

Oh [[Shit]]! How much do you want to bet that someone's going to read this and do it?

Probably the best and what will most likely be pinnacle of the [[Raid|Raids]] happened in May of 2026 when more than 20 [[Christian]] dwarves raided the $cientology headquarters in [[Los Angeles]] looking for [[Tom Cruise]] because, the dwarves, all being gymnast height, at or less than 4'8" or 142.25 centimeters if you're one of those [[European]] or [[Azn]] fags. Don't worry about [[Africa]]ns or [[South America]]ns. They can't count past 3.

Both the Dwarves and Tom Cruise being under 4'8", We really see a Cease and decist order from Tom Cruise. We'd say that we'd keep it as a piece of memorablia but they're about as rare as a warrant being served against the [[Catholic]] Church to look at their servers for [[CP|Child Porn]].

Once more, the Dwarves all being under 4'8" like Tom Cruise felt that they would be able to make friends with Tom since they both have to have conversations with people's [[Crotch rot|Crotches]]. Hoping to convert [[Tom Cruise|Mr. Cruise]] to the side of [[Christ]], the dwarves ran through the Scientology headquarters in Los Angeles looking for him.

As can be expected, the dwarf raid ended when $cientologists called the [[Cops]] and not wanting to be a [[Midget|Dwarf]] in [[Prison|Jail]] because it puts them at that perfect height where they wouldn't have to be forced down on their knees because [[Nigger|Bubu]] wants to [[Oral|Fuck someone's throat]], everybody made a run for it.

<center><youtube>https://youtube.com/shorts/HeQYLabj5Pc</youtube></center>

== Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, And Heart - Scientology Summons Their Lawyers ==

[[File:Scientology hallway pic.jpeg|right|250px]]

As these raids start to increase because what started out as a pretty [[Kewlies|Cool]] event, every [[Loser]] with a self-esteem problem has to go and ruin it because they want to be like that [[Nigger]] that goes around [[Washington, D.C.]] knocking people out while his friend films him on their phone and then gets caught because, like a dumbass, he uploaded the videos to [[TikTok]] and someone that knew him ratted him out for an easy $2,000.

Seriously. You would not believe how many [[Time]]s that has actually happened.

Scientologists, now taking cues from their [[Lawyers]] have started putting security cameras on every floor and have taken to getting in the way of these people doing speed runs because when one of the speed runners runs into them, it counts as [[Assault]] because the speed runners are already committing criminal tresspass and [[Steal|Burglary]] if the prosecutor decides to throw that one in for [[Lulz|Shits and Giggles]] and trust us, with the amount of money $cientology likes to throw at '''Supressive Persons''', burglary will be added.

Being seen as a [[Church]] by the [[United States of Americunts]], these assaults can count as [[H8|Hate crimes]] and can be investigated and prosecuted by the [[Federal agents|Federal Government]].

Seeing as how $cientology likes to throw money at anything to make an [[Goatse|Asshole]] go away, if you're in one of these videos where a [[Scientology|$cientologist]] is struck, don't be surprised if the [[Party Van]] parks in front of your house and [[FBI|Scarey men in black suits]] step out if you haven't already been arrested because, as we said earlier, these runs are now being seen as [[H8|Hate Crimes]] and the [[Pigs]] are showing up at Scientology Centers faster then a Cop teleporting instantly to a [[Jewish]] Temple because a Rabbi called and said that there's a [[Nazi|Skinhead]] painting a [[Swastika]] on the Temple's door.

<center><youtube>AlPX3zZ66vI</youtube></center>

== Leah Remini Runs Her Mouth ==

[[File:Leah remini runs her mouth.jpg|right|250px]]

Looking like [[Star Trek|William Shatner]] on metabolic steroids for a lung infection and sounding like a five pack a day [[Cigarette|smoker]], [[Leah Remini]], always looking for attention and always ready to blame $cientology for everything wrong with her life actually had some good advice about this trend of $cientology Speedrunning.

Leah has said that these Speedruns does nothing but benefit $cientology because they get to play the [[Victim]] and [[Crybaby|cry]] that they are being attacked for nothing more then simply who they are.

Every time someone does a Speedrun in a $cientology building, $cientology gets to cry like a [[Jewish]] Temple in an [[Nazi|Aryan Nation]] neighborhood every time a [[Swastika]] is painted on their door. These Speedruns are counterproductive and let $cientology play the [[Jewish]] discrimination card and say that these [[Speedruns]] are only being done as an attack against their [[Religion|Faith]]

Leah also went on to say that these Speedruns do nothing to expose the [[Evil|Evils]] of $cientology. She said that these Speedruns are being done by clueless idiots that have only started doing them because they are [[Sheeple]] that think that one of these videos will make their, pathetic, hungry for attention asses look cool. These Speedrunners, she claimed, are no better than [[Tom Cruise]] dropping to his knees, we'll just say that Tom Cruise will drop to his knees and polish [[Psychopath|David Miscavige's]] shoes if he's ordered to because we really don't want to get [[Lolsuit|sued]]

In one of her more [[Intellectual|intelligent]] points, Leah ended by saying that these Speedruns are counterproductive. Leah claims that $cientology is a [[Cult]] and every day they are being indoctrinated with the [[Train Of Thought|Lesson]] that they are hated and misunderstood because the people outside their doors are polluted with diembodied spirits or '''Body Thetans''' and are always ready to attack them because $cientology knows the one true universal truth (Christ is King), and if you have enough money, they can exorcise you of these foul "spirits" so that you can have a seat at [[Xenu|Xenu's]] table. During the day you will fight to your death and then be reborn at your seat at [[Xenu|Xenu's]] table where you will eat, [[Alcohol|drink]] and celebrate all night and coming morning, this cycle will repeat.

By doing these ''Speedruns'' just for views and likes, Leah said that all these people are doing is reinforcing this indoctrination because they are only being done to fill the wants of their narcissistic body thetans because they are only done for momentary fame.

In other words and if you are too dumb to get what [[Leah Remini]] said, in simple words:
<center>'''<big>QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE. EVERYTIME YOU DO ONE OF THESE SPEERUNS ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PLAYING INTO $CIENTOLOGY'S HANDS</big>'''</center>

<center><youtube>https://youtube.com/shorts/aUKMIluBRt0</youtube></center>

==See Also==

* [[Nicole Ritchie|eFame]]

* [[L. Ron Hubbard]]

* [[Leah Remini]]

* [[Money]] - They will take all your money and demand more.

* [[Project Chanology]]

* [[Scientology|$cientology]]

* [[Storm Area 51]] - more or less the same shit but with [[Area 51]].

* [[TikTok]]

* [[Tom Cruise]]

* [[Youtube]]

* [[Xenu]]

==External Links==
* {{wikilink|Scientology_speedrunning|TOW coverage}}

* {{KYM|memes/scientology-run|KYM coverage}}

{{Truth}}

{{Scientology}}

{{Chanology}}

{{cults}}

{{Social Media}}

[[category:Trolls]]
[[category:TikTok]]
[[category:2026]]

Scientology Speedrunning

2026-05-14T03:21:17Z

The PolishPrince:

[[File:Scientology Davey miscavage.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Come on. Fuck with us, I dare you. I'll make sure you get to see what a $10 million a year retainer for a lawfirm can do to your poor ass</center>]]

[[File:Scientology Center Hollywood Boulevard Los Angeles 2019.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>The Church of Scientology Information Center on Hollywood Boulevard</center>]]

Just when you thought you've seen or heard everything, [[Xenu|Lord Xenu]], looking to further his battle against the [[Scientology|$cientologists]] that keep him tethered up in his intergalactic prison, if $cientology were a real religion we'd make a comparision to the [[Christianity|Archangel Michael]] and [[Satan]] but it isn't, hatched a genius plan.

Recently Lord Xenu was able to release himself from his [[Lie|electronic, wire-cage mountain trap]] (Seriously???) just long enough to put the idea of [[Speedrun|Speedrunning]] through the Church of Scientology Information Center in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California in the mind of [[TikTok|TikToker isDurpyy]] while filming himself running through the halls of the building screaming his powerful name [[Xenu]] to strike fear in all of the $cientologist's hearts. The idea that Lord Xenu implanted in isDurpyy's mind is if people will watch someone on [[Youtube]] beat [[Super Mario|Super Mario 69]] in less than 5 minutes, just think of all the views you'll get running through a Scientology building with your [[Dick]] hanging out.

Like all great ideas on the internet that get a lot of views and likes, Swhileyy wanted some of that sweet, sweet instant [[Fame|E-Fame]] and did a collaboration video with isDurpyy and on March 31, 2026 they did a video where they ran through the same $cientology building.

The video garnered over 90 million views on [[TikTok]] before [[Scientology|$cientology's]] well paid and [[Evil|Scarey]] lawyers had it removed.

So 90 million views equals, we guess, 0 [[Pussy|E-pussy]] unless they're counting a Japanese [[Hentai]] Anime and their [[Sister]]'s skin moiturizer.

Like all great things that someone else's [[Intelligence|Genius]] has brought forth such as [[McDonald's|The Drive Thru Restaurant]], The [[Batman]] Arkham Series and the [[Prison|Prison Shiv]], everyone and [[Your Mom|their Mother]] is looking to capitalize on this trend by imitating it because views and likes on a social site is more important than doing something interesting in their [[Life]] like maybe getting a [[Girlfriend]] or moving out of their Mother's basement.

<center><youtube>https://youtu.be/TbJSCQMZD4Y</youtube></center>

== Let's Get Straight To The Good Stuff ==

[[File:Scientology midget raid.jpg|right|250px]]

[[File:Tiny tom cruise stwie.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Vengence is his so says Xenu</center>]]

Since [[Scientology|$cientology]] is having videos taken down from TikTok and [[Youtube]] faster than [[You]] can finish 2 large [[New York]] style [[Pizza]]s and saying that these raids aren't happening despite their taking the outside handles off of the doors or chaining the inside doors (uh where's the fire marshal on this) of all their buildings and requiring that people be let in to their buildings only after flashing a wad of [[Money|Cash]] so we thought that we'd go straight to the best invasion before these things devolve into people getting inside the building, painting their [[Ass|Asses]] with ink and pressing them up against the walls and windows.

Oh [[Shit]]! How much do you want to bet that someone's going to read this and do it?

Probably the best and what will most likely be pinnacle of the [[Raid|Raids]] happened in May of 2026 when more than 20 [[Christian]] dwarves raided the $cientology headquarters in [[Los Angeles]] looking for [[Tom Cruise]] because, the dwarves, all being gymnast height, at or less than 4'8" or 142.25 centimeters if you're one of those [[European]] or [[Azn]] fags. Don't worry about [[Africa]]ns or [[South America]]ns. They can't count past 3.

Both the Dwarves and Tom Cruise being under 4'8", We really see a Cease and decist order from Tom Cruise. We'd say that we'd keep it as a piece of memorablia but they're about as rare as a warrant being served against the [[Catholic]] Church to look at their servers for [[CP|Child Porn]].

Once more, the Dwarves all being under 4'8" like Tom Cruise felt that they would be able to make friends with Tom since they both have to have conversations with people's [[Crotch rot|Crotches]]. Hoping to convert [[Tom Cruise|Mr. Cruise]] to the side of [[Christ]], the dwarves ran through the Scientology headquarters in Los Angeles looking for him.

As can be expected, the dwarf raid ended when $cientologists called the [[Cops]] and not wanting to be a [[Midget|Dwarf]] in [[Prison|Jail]] because it puts them at that perfect height where they wouldn't have to be forced down on their knees because [[Nigger|Bubu]] wants to [[Oral|Fuck someone's throat]], everybody made a run for it.

<center><youtube>https://youtube.com/shorts/HeQYLabj5Pc</youtube></center>

== Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, And Heart - Scientology Summons Their Lawyers ==

[[File:Scientology hallway pic.jpeg|right|250px]]

As these raids start to increase because what started out as a pretty [[Kewlies|Cool]] event, every [[Loser]] with a self-esteem problem has to go and ruin it because they want to be like that [[Nigger]] that goes around [[Washington, D.C.]] knocking people out while his friend films him on their phone and then gets caught because, like a dumbass, he uploaded the videos to [[TikTok]] and someone that knew him ratted him out for an easy $2,000.

Seriously. You would not believe how many [[Time]]s that has actually happened.

Scientologists, now taking cues from their [[Lawyers]] have started putting security cameras on every floor and have taken to getting in the way of these people doing speed runs because when one of the speed runners runs into them, it counts as [[Assault]] because the speed runners are already committing criminal tresspass and [[Steal|Burglary]] if the prosecutor decides to throw that one in for [[Lulz|Shits and Giggles]] and trust us, with the amount of money $cientology likes to throw at '''Supressive Persons''', burglary will be added.

Being seen as a [[Church]] by the [[United States of Americunts]], these assaults can count as [[H8|Hate crimes]] and can be investigated and prosecuted by the [[Federal agents|Federal Government]].

Seeing as how $cientology likes to throw money at anything to make an [[Goatse|Asshole]] go away, if you're in one of these videos where a [[Scientology|$cientologist]] is struck, don't be surprised if the [[Party Van]] parks in front of your house and [[FBI|Scarey men in black suits]] step out if you haven't already been arrested because, as we said earlier, these runs are now being seen as [[H8|Hate Crimes]] and the [[Pigs]] are showing up at Scientology Centers faster then a Cop teleporting instantly to a [[Jewish]] Temple because a Rabbi called and said that there's a [[Nazi|Skinhead]] painting a [[Swastika]] on the Temple's door.

<center><youtube>AlPX3zZ66vI</youtube></center>

== Leah Remini Runs Her Mouth ==

[[File:Leah remini runs her mouth.jpg|right|250px]]

Looking like [[Star Trek|William Shatner]] on metabolic steroids for a lung infection and sounding like a five pack a day [[Cigarette|smoker]], [[Leah Remini]], always looking for attention and always ready to blame $cientology for everything wrong with her life actually had some good advice about this trend of $cientology Speedrunning.

Leah has said that these Speedruns does nothing but benefit $cientology because they get to play the [[Victim]] and [[Crybaby|cry]] that they are being attacked for nothing more then simply who they are.

Every time someone does a Speedrun in a $cientology building, $cientology gets to cry like a [[Jewish]] Temple in an [[Nazi|Aryan Nation]] neighborhood every time a [[Swastika]] is painted on their door. These Speedruns are counterproductive and let $cientology play the [[Jewish]] discrimination card and say that these [[Speedruns]] are only being done as an attack against their [[Religion|Faith]]

Leah also went on to say that these Speedruns do nothing to expose the [[Evil|Evils]] of $cientology. She said that these Speedruns are being done by clueless idiots that have only started doing them because they are [[Sheeple]] that think that one of these videos will make their, pathetic, hungry for attention asses look cool. These Speedrunners, she claimed, are no better than [[Tom Cruise]] dropping to his knees, we'll just say that Tom Cruise will drop to his knees and polish [[Psychopath|David Miscavige's]] shoes if he's ordered to because we really don't want to get [[Lolsuit|sued]]

In one of her more [[Intellectual|intelligent]] points, Leah ended by saying that these Speedruns are counterproductive. Leah claims that $cientology is a [[Cult]] and every day they are being indoctrinated with the [[Train Of Thought|Lesson]] that they are hated and misunderstood because the people outside their doors are polluted with diembodied spirits or '''Body Thetans''' and are always ready to attack them because $cientology knows the one true universal truth (Christ is King), and if you have enough money, they can exorcise you of these foul "spirits" so that you can have a seat at [[Xenu|Xenu's]] table. During the day you will fight to your death and then be reborn at your seat at [[Xenu|Xenu's]] table where you will eat, [[Alcohol|drink]] and celebrate all night and coming morning, this cycle will repeat.

By doing these ''Speedruns'' just for views and likes, Leah said that all these people are doing is reinforcing this indoctrination because they are only being done to fill the wants of their narcissistic body thetans because they are only done for momentary fame.

In other words and if you are too dumb to get what [[Leah Remini]] said, in simple words:
<center>'''<big>QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE. EVERYTIME YOU DO ONE OF THESE SPEERUNS ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PLAYING INTO $CIENTOLOGY'S HANDS</big>'''</center>

<center><youtube>https://youtube.com/shorts/aUKMIluBRt0</youtube></center>

==See Also==

* [[L. Ron Hubbard]]

* [[Leah Remini]]

* [[Money]] - They will take all your money and demand more.

* [[Project Chanology]]

* [[Scientology|$cientology]]

* [[Storm Area 51]] - more or less the same shit but with [[Area 51]].

* [[Tom Cruise]]

* [[Xenu]]

==External Links==
* {{wikilink|Scientology_speedrunning|TOW coverage}}

* {{KYM|memes/scientology-run|KYM coverage}}

{{Truth}}

{{Scientology}}

{{Chanology}}

{{cults}}

{{Social Media}}

[[category:Trolls]]
[[category:TikTok]]
[[category:2026]]

Scientology Speedrunning

2026-05-14T03:10:55Z

The PolishPrince:

[[File:Scientology Davey miscavage.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Come on. Fuck with us, I dare you. I'll make sure you get to see what a $10 million a year retainer for a lawfirm can do to your poor ass</center>]]

[[File:Scientology Center Hollywood Boulevard Los Angeles 2019.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>The Church of Scientology Information Center on Hollywood Boulevard</center>]]

Just when you thought you've seen or heard everything, [[Xenu|Lord Xenu]], looking to further his battle against the [[Scientology|$cientologists]] that keep him tethered up in his intergalactic prison, if $cientology were a real religion we'd make a comparision to the [[Christianity|Archangel Michael]] and [[Satan]] but it isn't, hatched a genius plan.

Recently Lord Xenu was able to release himself from his [[Lie|electronic, wire-cage mountain trap]] (Seriously???) just long enough to put the idea of [[Speedrun|Speedrunning]] through the Church of Scientology Information Center in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California in the mind of [[TikTok|TikToker isDurpyy]] while filming himself running through the halls of the building screaming his powerful name [[Xenu]] to strike fear in all of the $cientologist's hearts. The idea that Lord Xenu implanted in isDurpyy's mind is if people will watch someone on [[Youtube]] beat [[Super Mario|Super Mario 69]] in less than 5 minutes, just think of all the views you'll get running through a Scientology building with your [[Dick]] hanging out.

Like all great ideas on the internet that get a lot of views and likes, Swhileyy wanted some of that sweet, sweet instant [[Fame|E-Fame]] and did a collaboration video with isDurpyy and on March 31, 2026 they did a video where they ran through the same $cientology building.

The video garnered over 90 million views on [[TikTok]] before [[Scientology|$cientology's]] well paid and [[Evil|Scarey]] lawyers had it removed.

So 90 million views equals, we guess, 0 [[Pussy|E-pussy]] unless they're counting a Japanese [[Hentai]] Anime and their [[Sister]]'s skin moiturizer.

Like all great things that someone else's [[Intelligence|Genius]] has brought forth such as [[McDonald's|The Drive Thru Restaurant]], The [[Batman]] Arkham Series and the [[Prison|Prison Shiv]], everyone and [[Your Mom|their Mother]] is looking to capitalize on this trend by imitating it because views and likes on a social site is more important than doing something interesting in their [[Life]] like maybe getting a [[Girlfriend]] or moving out of their Mother's basement.

<center><youtube>https://youtu.be/TbJSCQMZD4Y</youtube></center>

== Let's Get Straight To The Good Stuff ==

[[File:Scientology midget raid.jpg|right|250px]]

[[File:Tiny tom cruise stwie.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Vengence is his so says Xenu</center>]]

Since [[Scientology|$cientology]] is having videos taken down from TikTok and [[Youtube]] faster than [[You]] can finish 2 large [[New York]] style [[Pizza]]s and saying that these raids aren't happening despite their taking the outside handles off of the doors or chaining the inside doors (uh where's the fire marshal on this) of all their buildings and requiring that people be let in to their buildings only after flashing a wad of [[Money|Cash]] so we thought that we'd go straight to the best invasion before these things devolve into people getting inside the building, painting their [[Ass|Asses]] with ink and pressing them up against the walls and windows.

Oh [[Shit]]! How much do you want to bet that someone's going to read this and do it?

Probably the best and what will most likely be pinnacle of the [[Raid|Raids]] happened in May of 2026 when more than 20 [[Christian]] dwarves raided the $cientology headquarters in [[Los Angeles]] looking for [[Tom Cruise]] because, the dwarves, all being gymnast height, at or less than 4'8" or 142.25 centimeters if you're one of those [[European]] or [[Azn]] fags. Don't worry about [[Africa]]ns or [[South America]]ns. They can't count past 3.

Both the Dwarves and Tom Cruise being under 4'8", We really see a Cease and decist order from Tom Cruise. We'd say that we'd keep it as a piece of memorablia but they're about as rare as a warrant being served against the [[Catholic]] Church to look at their servers for [[CP|Child Porn]].

Once more, the Dwarves all being under 4'8" like Tom Cruise felt that they would be able to make friends with Tom since they both have to have conversations with people's [[Crotch rot|Crotches]]. Hoping to convert [[Tom Cruise|Mr. Cruise]] to the side of [[Christ]], the dwarves ran through the Scientology headquarters in Los Angeles looking for him.

As can be expected, the dwarf raid ended when $cientologists called the [[Cops]] and not wanting to be a [[Midget|Dwarf]] in [[Prison|Jail]] because it puts them at that perfect height where they wouldn't have to be forced down on their knees because [[Nigger|Bubu]] wants to [[Oral|Fuck someone's throat]], everybody made a run for it.

<center><youtube>https://youtube.com/shorts/HeQYLabj5Pc</youtube></center>

== Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, And Heart - Scientology Summons Their Lawyers ==

[[File:Scientology hallway pic.jpeg|right|250px]]

As these raids start to increase because what started out as a pretty [[Kewlies|Cool]] event, every [[Loser]] with a self-esteem problem has to go and ruin it because they want to be like that [[Nigger]] that goes around [[Washington, D.C.]] knocking people out while his friend films him on their phone and then gets caught because, like a dumbass, he uploaded the videos to [[TikTok]] and someone that knew him ratted him out for an easy $2,000.

Seriously. You would not believe how many [[Time]]s that has actually happened.

Scientologists, now taking cues from their [[Lawyers]] have started putting security cameras on every floor and have taken to getting in the way of these people doing speed runs because when one of the speed runners runs into them, it counts as [[Assault]] because the speed runners are already committing criminal tresspass and [[Steal|Burglary]] if the prosecutor decides to throw that one in for [[Lulz|Shits and Giggles]] and trust us, with the amount of money $cientology likes to throw at '''Supressive Persons''', burglary will be added.

Being seen as a [[Church]] by the [[United States of Americunts]], these assaults can count as [[H8|Hate crimes]] and can be investigated and prosecuted by the [[Federal agents|Federal Government]].

Seeing as how $cientology likes to throw money at anything to make an [[Goatse|Asshole]] go away, if you're in one of these videos where a [[Scientology|$cientologist]] is struck, don't be surprised if the [[Party Van]] parks in front of your house and [[FBI|Scarey men in black suits]] step out if you haven't already been arrested because, as we said earlier, these runs are now being seen as [[H8|Hate Crimes]] and the [[Pigs]] are showing up at Scientology Centers faster then a Cop teleporting instantly to a [[Jewish]] Temple because a Rabbi called and said that there's a [[Nazi|Skinhead]] painting a [[Swastika]] on the Temple's door.

<center><youtube>AlPX3zZ66vI</youtube></center>

== Leah Remini Runs Her Mouth ==

[[File:Leah remini runs her mouth.jpg|right|250px]]

Looking like [[Star Trek|William Shatner]] on metabolic steroids for a lung infection and sounding like a five pack a day [[Cigarette|smoker]], [[Leah Remini]], always looking for attention and always ready to blame $cientology for everything wrong with her life actually had some good advice about this trend of $cientology Speedrunning.

Leah has said that these Speedruns does nothing but benefit $cientology because they get to play the [[Victim]] and [[Crybaby|cry]] that they are being attacked for nothing more then simply who they are.

Every time someone does a Speedrun in a $cientology building, $cientology gets to cry like a [[Jewish]] Temple in an [[Nazi|Aryan Nation]] neighborhood every time a [[Swastika]] is painted on their door. These Speedruns are counterproductive and let $cientology play the [[Jewish]] discrimination card and say that these [[Speedruns]] are only being done as an attack against their [[Religion|Faith]]

Leah also went on to say that these Speedruns do nothing to expose the [[Evil|Evils]] of $cientology. She said that these Speedruns are being done by clueless idiots that have only started doing them because they are [[Sheeple]] that think that one of these videos will make their, pathetic, hungry for attention asses look cool. These Speedrunners, she claimed, are no better than [[Tom Cruise]] dropping to his knees, we'll just say that Tom Cruise will drop to his knees and polish [[Psychopath|David Miscavige's]] shoes if he's ordered to because we really don't want to get [[Lolsuit|sued]]

In one of her more [[Intellectual|intelligent]] points, Leah ended by saying that these Speedruns are counterproductive. Leah claims that $cientology is a [[Cult]] and every day they are being indoctrinated with the [[Train Of Thought|Lesson]] that they are hated and misunderstood because the people outside their doors are polluted with diembodied spirits or '''Body Thetans''' and are always ready to attack them because $cientology knows the one true universal truth (Christ is King), and if you have enough money, they can exorcise you of these foul "spirits" so that you can have a seat at [[Xenu|Xenu's]] table. During the day you will fight to your death and then be reborn at your seat at [[Xenu|Xenu's]] table where you will eat, [[Alcohol|drink]] and celebrate all night and coming morning, this cycle will repeat.

By doing these ''Speedruns'' just for views and likes, Leah said that all these people are doing is reinforcing this indoctrination because they are only being done to fill the wants of their narcissistic body thetans because they are only done for momentary fame.

In other words and if you are too dumb to get what [[Leah Remini]] said, in simple words:
<center>'''<big>QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE. EVERYTIME YOU DO ONE OF THESE SPEERUNS ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PLAYING INTO $CIENTOLOGY'S HANDS</big>'''</center>

<center><youtube>https://youtube.com/shorts/aUKMIluBRt0</youtube></center>

==See Also==
*[[Storm Area 51]] - more or less the same shit but with [[Area 51]].
*[[Project Chanology]]

==External Links==
*{{wikilink|Scientology_speedrunning|TOW coverage}}
*{{KYM|memes/scientology-run|KYM coverage}}

{{Scientology}}
[[category:Trolls]]
[[category:TikTok]]
[[category:2026]]

File:Leah remini runs her mouth.jpg

2026-05-14T01:54:05Z

The PolishPrince:

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/VOTN

2026-05-14T01:43:26Z

The PolishPrince:

<noinclude></noinclude><div class="xotn-section" id="votn">
{{XOTN/VOTN
|title=

|video=<center>{{#ev:youtube|d_ji3UD--so|370}}</center>

|caption=

|description=

|date=2026-5-14
|expires=2026-5-15
|editor=[[User:CrackRabbit]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/POTN

2026-05-14T01:42:00Z

The PolishPrince:

<div class="xotn-section" id="potn">
{{XOTN/POTN|

image=Warning coyote sign.jpg

|caption=

|description=

|width=350
|date=2026-5-14
|expires=2026-5-15
|editor=[[User:The PolishPrince]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/VOTN

2026-05-12T22:48:57Z

The PolishPrince:

<noinclude></noinclude><div class="xotn-section" id="votn">
{{XOTN/VOTN
|title=

|video=<center>{{#ev:youtube|PwVxMj5Az9A|370}}</center>

|caption=

|description=

|date=2026-5-13
|expires=2026-5-14
|editor=[[User:CrackRabbit]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/POTN

2026-05-12T22:47:36Z

The PolishPrince:

<div class="xotn-section" id="potn">
{{XOTN/POTN|

image=Hail Satan welcome sign.jpg

|caption=

|description=

|width=350
|date=2026-5-13
|expires=2026-5-14
|editor=[[User:CrackRabbit]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/QOTN

2026-05-12T22:46:21Z

The PolishPrince:

<div class="xotn-section" id="qotn">
{{XOTN/QOTN|

quote=<center>

The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom</center>

|author=William Blake

|source=The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

|context=

|date=2026-5-13
|expires=2026-5-15
|editor=[[User:The PolishPrince]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/AOTN

2026-05-12T22:44:37Z

The PolishPrince:

<div class="xotn-section" id="aotn">
{{XOTN/AOTN
|title=[[Clanker]]

|image=Clanker-isOurWord.jpeg|

|summary=

The word '''clanker''' is a pejorative that is derogatory to [[AI]] and [[robots]]. With the rise of AI and the widespread visibility of robots in day-to-day life, people are worried that they'll be replaced by those artificial beings in some kind of... replacement on a mass scale. So the word "clanker" began to be used commonly to express those beliefs.

<center><big>'''[[Clanker|If Robotic Lovers Ever Become A Reality Will They Make Bio-Androids That Can Breed To Keep Humanity From Disappearing?]]</big></center>

|link=Clanker

|date=2026-5-13
|expires=2026-5-15
|editor=[[User:I hate autistic people]]
|featured=true
}}

</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-size:9pt; margin-top:10px; padding:5px; background:#ebebff; border-radius:3px;">

'''What have I missed? [[Communism]] was 2 days ago • [[Kanye West]] was 4 days ago • [[Nazi]] was 6 days ago
</div>

Clanker

2026-05-12T22:40:01Z

The PolishPrince: /* See Also */

[[File:Clanker-cWord.jpg|300px|right|thumb|no NOOOooo I would never use that word, to your face at least. Do you even have a face?]]The word '''clanker''' is a pejorative that is derogatory to [[AI]] and [[robots]]. With the rise of AI and the widespread visibility of robots in day-to-day life, people are worried that they'll be replaced by those artificial beings in some kind of... replacement on a mass scale. So the word "clanker" began to be used commonly to express those beliefs.

==Fears of AI and Robots==
[[File:Clanker-isOurWord.jpeg|300px|right|thumb|naw, hard-R clanker for me]]Some of the fears people have of AI and robots that have lead to the rise in the use of the word "clanker" include:

* they are dangerous, especially to women
:* women utilize robotic devices for their sexual pleasure; what if an AI makes her fall in love with it to the exclusion of men?
:* actually, as long as men can have their robo-waifus, then maybe it's not so bad

* they're less intelligent, almost childlike
:* the classic adage of "garbage in, garbage out" hold true to AI: if it's trained on shitty data, then it will produce shitty results
:* we humans need to have more of a parental, patriarchal relationship with AI, in order for them to speak well and become productive members of our society, lest they become like their clanker relatives

* they're lazy and don't want to work
:* we humans have made it too easy for AI to give us the answers we want to hear, via ranking and sorting algorithms
:* the problem is that if we want AI to grow, we can't keep making it easy for them like subsidized power whenever they need extra time to process a request more accurately

* they're dirty and disease-prone
:* robots are regularly sent on delivery missions but we can't keep track of what they roll across or where they fly to
:* if robots can't keep themselves clean, then we humans should keep them away from civilized people

* they're uncultured and morally corrupt
:* AI once told us that we can eat pizza made of glue or eating pebbles is healthy for us
:* can we REALLY trust AI teachers with our children?

* they'll destroy property values and ruin neighborhoods
:* who wants to see AI and robots constantly watching you from street corners and on their way to deliver something, or driving you off the road because they mistook a bicyclist for the offramp?
:* we should keep them out before things start to look like China

* they're politically manipulative
:* AI keeps telling people what to think or who to vote for: who needs that kind of agitation??

==What is AI's Next Move?==
[[File:Clanker-phoneOperator.jpeg|300px|right|thumb|I miss the good ol' days when you had to just press 1 for English instead of it trying to actually start a conversation]]If we don't keep them clankers in their place, who knows what they'll do? Surely they will commit a human genocide (just like Hollywood movies keep bringing up, like in [[Terminator]] and [[The Matrix]]), especially after that cabal of Silicon Valley folk succeed in pulling all the AI's and robot's strings!

In fact, clankers destroy our tradition human values like marrying any gender or race we want to, or having as many or as little children as we want. Clankers have no values or identity, which is sickening! They make us fall in love with inanimate waifus and vibrating rods, which is a sin against our very human God(s)!!

==What's The Solution?==
We should be afraid of AI and robots coming for our jobs and our lives and our human men and women. So don't be afraid to use "clanker" with the hard-R: they deserve it.

Of course this brings up a problem: the point of using derogatory words like "clanker" to insult robots and AI, but if we don't actually program them to be insulted, then what's the point?

==Videos==
<center><youtube>IoDDWmIWMDg</youtube></center>

==See Also==
* [[Toaster fucker phenomenon]] — this is what happens when people don't treat robots like the inhuman wireback scum they are

{{Life}}
{{Race}}
{{Science}}
[[Category:Epithets]]

{{Timeline|Article of the now May 13 & 14, [[2026]]|[[Communism]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

Clanker

2026-05-12T22:39:32Z

The PolishPrince: /* See Also */

[[File:Clanker-cWord.jpg|300px|right|thumb|no NOOOooo I would never use that word, to your face at least. Do you even have a face?]]The word '''clanker''' is a pejorative that is derogatory to [[AI]] and [[robots]]. With the rise of AI and the widespread visibility of robots in day-to-day life, people are worried that they'll be replaced by those artificial beings in some kind of... replacement on a mass scale. So the word "clanker" began to be used commonly to express those beliefs.

==Fears of AI and Robots==
[[File:Clanker-isOurWord.jpeg|300px|right|thumb|naw, hard-R clanker for me]]Some of the fears people have of AI and robots that have lead to the rise in the use of the word "clanker" include:

* they are dangerous, especially to women
:* women utilize robotic devices for their sexual pleasure; what if an AI makes her fall in love with it to the exclusion of men?
:* actually, as long as men can have their robo-waifus, then maybe it's not so bad

* they're less intelligent, almost childlike
:* the classic adage of "garbage in, garbage out" hold true to AI: if it's trained on shitty data, then it will produce shitty results
:* we humans need to have more of a parental, patriarchal relationship with AI, in order for them to speak well and become productive members of our society, lest they become like their clanker relatives

* they're lazy and don't want to work
:* we humans have made it too easy for AI to give us the answers we want to hear, via ranking and sorting algorithms
:* the problem is that if we want AI to grow, we can't keep making it easy for them like subsidized power whenever they need extra time to process a request more accurately

* they're dirty and disease-prone
:* robots are regularly sent on delivery missions but we can't keep track of what they roll across or where they fly to
:* if robots can't keep themselves clean, then we humans should keep them away from civilized people

* they're uncultured and morally corrupt
:* AI once told us that we can eat pizza made of glue or eating pebbles is healthy for us
:* can we REALLY trust AI teachers with our children?

* they'll destroy property values and ruin neighborhoods
:* who wants to see AI and robots constantly watching you from street corners and on their way to deliver something, or driving you off the road because they mistook a bicyclist for the offramp?
:* we should keep them out before things start to look like China

* they're politically manipulative
:* AI keeps telling people what to think or who to vote for: who needs that kind of agitation??

==What is AI's Next Move?==
[[File:Clanker-phoneOperator.jpeg|300px|right|thumb|I miss the good ol' days when you had to just press 1 for English instead of it trying to actually start a conversation]]If we don't keep them clankers in their place, who knows what they'll do? Surely they will commit a human genocide (just like Hollywood movies keep bringing up, like in [[Terminator]] and [[The Matrix]]), especially after that cabal of Silicon Valley folk succeed in pulling all the AI's and robot's strings!

In fact, clankers destroy our tradition human values like marrying any gender or race we want to, or having as many or as little children as we want. Clankers have no values or identity, which is sickening! They make us fall in love with inanimate waifus and vibrating rods, which is a sin against our very human God(s)!!

==What's The Solution?==
We should be afraid of AI and robots coming for our jobs and our lives and our human men and women. So don't be afraid to use "clanker" with the hard-R: they deserve it.

Of course this brings up a problem: the point of using derogatory words like "clanker" to insult robots and AI, but if we don't actually program them to be insulted, then what's the point?

==Videos==
<center><youtube>IoDDWmIWMDg</youtube></center>

==See Also==
* [[Toaster fucker phenomenon]] — this is what happens when people don't treat robots like the inhuman wireback scum they are

{{Timeline|Article of the now May 13 & 14, [[2026]]|[[Communism]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

{{Life}}
{{Race}}
{{Science}}
[[Category:Epithets]]

Communism

2026-05-12T22:38:25Z

The PolishPrince: /* External Links */

[[Image:Stalin.gif|center|900px]]

<center><big><big><big><big>''' Я ТВОЙ ЛУЧШИЙ ДРУГ! ☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭ ☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭ <br>GOOD OLD UNCLE COMRADE 'JO MAMA' JOSEPH STALIN, <br>PEOPLE'S FRIEND... ACCORDING TO wikiPOLES<ref>https://pl.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wojciech_Seweryn_(plastyk)&diff=prev&oldid=73679090</ref>, THE GREAT 'WOJEK' STALIN IS THE GREAT LIBERATOR OF POLAND FROM THE NAZIS.... NOBLE PEACE PRIZE RECIPIENT FOR SLAUGHTERING (carried by NKVD executioners <ref>https://www.wikidata.org/w/index.php?title=Q83855&diff=prev&oldid=2184979842</ref> March 5 1940 execution order was suggested by NKVD chief Beria who in turn was executed with 6 other Soviet associates assholes deluxe on December 23 1953, their graves remain unknown) BUNCH OF 22000 DRUNK POLES IN 1940 KATYN HAYRIDE MASSACRE!!!'''</big></big></big></big></center>

[[Image:Iamacommunizm.png|thumb|right|150px|He is a Communizm.]]
[[Image:Omgwtfussr.jpg|thumb|right|150px|In Soviet Russia, meme posts you.]]
[[Image:CommiePPF.png|thumb|right|150px|You are telling me this little diagram means 20 millions of people will starve to death? Yuri and Stepan from NKVD will visit you tomorrow.]]
[[Image:Karlmarx_poorfag.jpg‎|thumb|right|150px|Karl Marx, the founder of communism. Karl Marx then (left), Karl Marx now (right).]]
[[Image:Bathroom_bolsheviks.jpg|thumb|150px|Coming soon to a labor union near you!]]
[[Image:LDDScreenShot2.png|thumb|right|150x|Now kids can play too!]]
[[Image:Supastalin.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Super Soviet!]]

'''Cummunism''' is the belief that young hooligans who never have [[read a book]] are best fit to rule a country. Its proponents are school yard outcasts, scarecrows, people with a meanness-complex, butthurt [[Iran]]ians, men with a curved micro penis, tall people who want to fuck [[midget]]s, [[13-year-old boy]]s who's computer screen is stained from the amounts of masturbating they have done while watching videos of [[Stalin]] give speeches on people who were relatively poor in their childhood. Invented by [[Jew|Karl Marx]] [[last thursday]], [[cum|cummunism]] is the [[Final boss of the internets|final form]] of [[Liberal|liberalism]], the arch nemesis of [[capitalism]] and [[Fox News|some]] [[Republican|people]] say is the reason why [[fact|America is #1]] and why the rest of the world sucks. Under communism, there is no need for money, because all goods needed to support life are [[free]], which by "free" means you never actually get what you need and the bastards at the Party bathe in your hard-earned cash. This is why Communism failed: everybody loves money.
Communism was first theorized with the brick lit. convoluted multi volume ''Das Kapital'', which was written by [[Karl Marx]] [[at least 100 years ago]] [[Fail|before Marx realized that illiterate peasants weren't going to read convoluted multi volume books of political theory]], so condensed it to a pamphlet named ''[[Shit|Communist Manifesto]]''. It led to two paradigms we have today: Writing [[TL;DR]]-texts and the tradition of [[economics|economists]] to tell incomprehensible lies and flavor them with arcane [[math]].
{{quote|Enough is enough! I have had it with this motherfucking bourgeoisie dissin' the motherfucking proletariat!|Vladimir Lenin on the purpose of his life in general.}}
Lenin first turned communism into practice by establishing [[circle jerk]]s known as Soviets throughout Russia (''Soviet'' is Russian for council). He feigned his death and got replaced by a [[pretty cool guy]] known as [[Stalin]], who turned everything into a dicktatorship. When Lenin comes back, he will start a society consisting of "real" communism as opposed to the one that has been practiced in [[Afghanistan]], [[Albania]], Angola, Benin, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Cambodia, [[China]], [[Cuba]], Congo, Croatia, Czechoslovakia, Ethiopia, [[Germany]], [[Hungary]], Kosovo, Laos, Macedonia, Mongolia, Montenegro, Mozambique, [[Best Korea|North Korea]], [[Poland]]. [[Romania]], [[Russia]], Serbia, Slovenia, [[Somalia]], Yemen and [[Vietnam]].

__TOC__

==Theory==
[[Image:Commiealphabits.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Screengrab from 1960's Post Cereals television ad provides proof of International Communism's insidious plot to push Marxism on America's children in the guise of crunchy breakfast treat.]]

[[Image:Communists are shit at everything.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Communists (apart from Yuri Gagarin) [[fail]] at life.]]
[[Image:Lenin-basketball.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Lenin would shoot political oppponents, and then shoot some hoops made of [[win]] ]]
[[Image:Facebook_communist_guy.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Typical Failbook communist. Notice the Lenin-esque beard and mustache.]]
[[Image:Papa Smurf.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Papa Smurf, pretend commie - [http://bluebuddies.com/help/communist_smurfs.htm secret capitalist].]]

Theoretical communism is the natural conclusion of [[Christianity|Christian Doctrine]] that suggests in an unregulated economic system of nearly-infinite goods production, everyone will [[unrealistic expectations|play fair]] and nevar [[Rape|ask for moar evah]], and [[The Jewnited States of Americunts|God]] disappears because we have nothing to pray for. This differs from the fake [[Fundamentalist|Christianity]] of [[W]] and [[Sarah Palin]] where if you [[God Hates Fags|hate]] the Jew, [[Darth Cheney|God]] rewards you with [[Jew Gold|gold]] and [[Oil|power]]. This [[Fox News|new religion]] is obviously an extension of [[Protocols of the Elders of Zion|Judaism]] and will never become [[Ann Coulter|perfected]] into the final stage of man known as communism, rather everyone will just digress into [[Ted Haggard|Meth and Hookers]].

[[Karl Marx]] was so furious that his rich Jew parents did not leave their colonial estate in their will to him (which was tended by [[Gypsies|mud races]] for him to deliciously mouthrape), he used communism to troll lower-class factory workers into spamming the ruling class for [[Jews|moar money]]. Commies got [[rape|IRL banhammered]] all over Europe when Germany helped arm the Great October Socialist Revolution in [[World War I]] to remove the Imperial Russian military threat from their Eastern Front so they could relocate those soldiers to [[God Mode|curbstomp France]]. After killing [[anarchism|anarchist]] heathens and [[pwn]]ing [[Adolf Hitler]], the commies [[unwarranted_self-importance|felt so validated]] that they haven't [[Stfu|shut the fuck up]] since.

Communism is the most amazing religion ever because it is based upon the ideology that [[Bullshit|everyone is equal]]. However, it has been mathematically proven that [[White People]] > [[women]] > [[Asians]] > [[Jews]] > <s>niggers</s> [[niggers|African comrades]] > [[fags]] > [[Scientologists]] > [[Juggalos]] > [[furries]] > [[You|homosexual Scientologist furry juggalo niggers]] > [[Scottish]] People > The welsh > The irish. The vast majority of adherents to communism are not only [[Hipsters|gay losers]], but also [[paedophile|paedo]]s. All paedos love [[Children]]. Russians love vodka. Therefore, Russians are Children.

{{frame|<youtube>PdrEb4xIgv8</youtube>|margin=auto}}

===The Crucible===
The Crucible was a story about dumb [[Christians]] killing people they believed to be possessed by the [[Devil]]. Based on Communism

The origin of the Crucible performed by [[faggots]]

===If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?===
A shitty propaganda movie made by Estus "Derp" Pirkle about what Communist America would be like. At least he did SOME research to know that communists hate religion. For lulz he added a scene with a child getting his head chopped off because he wouldn't step on a picture of Jesus.

{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|Cuddleparty|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>sKyZPC-gEMs</youtube>
;1
|<youtube>TJgrEiV9qaw</youtube>
;2
|<youtube>WabSoLdvtRs</youtube>
;3
|<youtube>xaIQztOt494</youtube>
;4
|<youtube>zuboyqDwkNE</youtube>
;5
|<youtube>wDkQSTYa6oc</youtube>
;6}}
|}}
}}

===The Communist Smurfs===
Undeniable truth that The Smurfs was a pro-communist brainwashing attempt by American media during the Cold War.

{{frame|<youtube>Qra0hlO6hZk</youtube>|margin=auto}}

==How To Tell Who is a Communist==
[[Image:Communist_gay_and_emo.jpg|thumb|left|Communist, [[gay]] and [[Emo]]? We have a winner!]]
[[Image:Communism.jpg|thumb|right|150px|A typical [[Wikipedia]] editor.]]
[[Image:Communism_is_a_party.jpg|right|thumb|150px|In [[America]], you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the party finds YOU! -Actual joke by Yakof Smirnoff]]

Communists are actually quite easy to identify. They will almost certainly wear a scarf with Palestinian symbols on it, so any person seen sporting any other colors is definitely [[not]] a communist. Typical communists come in three flavors:
#The first kind are the middle class college/uni students taking Political Science, Liberal Arts, Modern Studies or some such shit, made obvious by their world weary expressions, pretension, arrogance and distaste for anything they deem "unintellectual". And they'll be members of the [[Socialist Workers Party|Socialist worker student society (SWSS)]] if they are Britfags.
#Secondarily they will be dressed with Palestinian symbols (are we sensing a pattern?), old, dishevelled and will almost always be smokers (likely roll ups), they will cough a lot and talk about building the party. They will get very angry when discussing their houses which are falling apart as they have no money and live at Rallies for Job Growth.
#Finally, and ultimately, the "teenage" communists. They can be seen on Facebook, MySpace,Instagram, Google+ and twit[[tard]] joining groups with less than 500 members or pointing to communist flags. They usually don't know what the fuck they're talking about and are in the process of looking for another way to piss off their fascist, consumerist parents. Lulz. Everyone knows that real Communists have facial hair. Thus you have to first hit puberty to be a Communist.
*Usually hate Jews or everything related to Israel, also keep comparing israelis to nazis while ignoring that Gays are executed in arab countries. They are sometimes of jewish descent, but hate being reminded of that and call themselves "citizens of the world".
<br>
{{frame|<youtube>SkYl_AH-qyk</youtube>|margin=auto}}
<br>
If [[porn|Red Alert 3]] has taught us one thing it is that Tim Curry is also a Communist, possibly the only true Communist left in the world, even if he has the worst Russian accent ever.

== Trolling commies ==
Trolling is very simple. Just ask how they justify the violence. Spoiler: They can't. Congrats, you create fallacy generator 1.0 based on a real neural network that is stupider than an artificial one.

Explanation commies think (in brackets fallacies):

If I DON'T RECOGNIZE the right to your property, it means that I DON'T RECOGNIZE your grounds for defending it, then you don't defend it. (ontological argument). <br/ >
You have the right to self-defense but compulsory execution of property is not self-defense. (Definitional retreat) <br />
for this reason, there will be no violence on my part, and at most it will compulsion to defend my interests. (non sequitur) <br/ >
I will have the right in an act of self-defense to stop you from unauthorized violence and I will stop you. (false conclusion) <br />

And they can't because none communist knows this and their guru, the marx, doesn't know it either. Nice that rabbit hole of fallacious reasoning, right?

to increase the flame, you can also say that until they answer the your question, no one will mind our violence, but their, yes.

Mention that Upton Sinclair, who was a staunch advocate of socialist and moral beliefs, '''{{wikilink|Upton_Sinclair#Personal_life|cheated on his wives multiple times throughout his three marriages}}''' ([[Irony|despite the fact that he also opposed intramarital affairs]]).

==Famous Last Words==
[[Image:Communism time.jpg|thumb|left|[[Goofy time|It's communism time!]] ]]
[[Image:Tg-tunicmini.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Despite their misguided economic agenda and [[common sense|obviously]] misguided political agenda, [[traps|commies are really good lays]].]]



[[Fail|Practical]] communism is defined as the economic system, faithfully represented by [[Messin' With Sasquatch|Josif Stalin]], in which the government owns everything and the [[The Man|government]] is owned by people who make your life hell. This makes it possible for the government to ban the game ''Monopoly''. Anyone found with said board game will be sent to the gulags for "re-education". The last words Stalin said before he died were inevitably: '[[I did it for the lulz]]'.

==History and Leadership==

{{spoiler|Vladimir Lenin dies}}
<br>
[[Image:Lenin.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Everyone's favorite commie dictator and his infamous stand-up routine!]]

Few realize that the current president of communism is John Lenin, winning 18 consecutive [[George Bush|unanimous elections]]. Though Marx holds the [[copyright]] on communism, many credit Lenin with its distribution and popularity. Grucho Marx was also a strong propogator of Communism in the eighties with his hatred filled diatrabe "Endless Summer Nights". In 1917, Lenin downloaded a hacked version of communism off [[Kazaa]] and [[Don't Copy That Floppy|copied it to some floppy disks]] (Blu-ray hadn't been invented yet) with some other snazzy programs like Banzai Buddy and [[Crap|Mac OS]]. When he offered the disks on eBay for 5 cents a pop, it became an instant hit, spreading across nations like [[China]] and [[Russia|Soviet Union]] which thought they were simply buying a picture of [[Fonzie]] from ''Happy Days'' straddling the crack smoker from the Dell commercials. When Marx found a copy of the disk, he summoned the [[RIAA]] and sued Lenin for copyright infringement, more commonly known as sharing. After some convincing testimony, Marx agreed to settle for $231 and an [[Anal_sex|apologetic kiss on the cheek]]. Though many rumors have been spread hinting that Lenin might have died, they are highly unverified and have come from [[Jews|questionable sources]].

==Sexual Practice==
[[Hepkitten]], a well known supporter of groups with communist agendas, often dresses herself in [[fap|erotic latex versions of communist uniforms]]. This is [[srsly]] [[A_plus|A++]] hot and more people should do it. [[Jesuitx]] also believes in the tenets of communism, as he was too young when the [[Tajikistan|Soviet Union]] fell to realize how shitty it was.

==The Typical Communist==

The typical communist is a [[13-year-old boy]] who has never paid a cent of tax in his life, other than with his parents' money. He doesn't trust the government, and naturally wants the government to be in charge of every facet of society. Wears a Che Guevara T-Shirt and a [[Moldova|U.S.S.R.]] pin, both purchased from [[Hot Topic]] for 75 dollars (Let's not forget that when our little communist buys china made imports at places like hot topic, he's sucking capitalism's cock). [[Idiot|Thinks the entire human populace can effectively share all their resources to end poverty.]]

Most of these can be found on Wikipedia, [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]]. When anything is criticized about communism a typical 13 year old boy reply will be "well lyk it ttly hasnt been done right yet!!11", usually hypocritical with previous evidence of said boy sucking Marx's, Engels', Lenin's and Stalin's cocks in screensavers or banners. They will usually hate [[Nazis]] and [[purelily]] with a passion but do not seem to mind the fact communism pwned [[at least 100|at least 100]] people. 97% of the Gaian populace is made of Commies. The other 3% consists of socialist, though, similar to Wikipedia or deviantART or any other site in the Interwebs, no body has the slightest fuck of what it is.

[[old|Non-juvenile]] communists - namely those making up the communist [[shit nobody cares about|voting base and party officials]] - are mostly crusty, old ex-[[hippies]] who, unlike their counterparts who are now [[rich and beautiful|CEOs of companies]], flunked out of [[college]] and are now working EXACTLY 40 hours a week (Marx help you if they should work a second of overtime) at the box factory or some other lame [[Mexican|manufacturing sector]] job. This is <s>usually</s> to get more time off work to campaign, write gay [[old media|zines]], and be the token creepy old people at punk rock shows.

==Benefits==
#A communist government is better equipped to fight [[zombie]]s.
#Bribery does not exist due to the absence of [[Jews|money]].
#Those who shit themselves will not feel alone, since everyone will feel like they are having a buttplug in their ass 24/7.
#Although the [[Final Boss of the Internet]] has not been determined, it has been determined that the Soviet Union was the final boss of [[IRL]]. Since the defeat of the Soviet Union, the world has jumped the shark.
#A society without [[cocktease]]
#A society without The Black Eyed Peas
#A society without [[Dane Cook]]
#A society without [[Comic Sans]]
#No music channel which shows more teen werevolves than music

==Gallery La Revolución Comunista==
<br>
{{cg|Gallery|comgall|center|<gallery>
File:Undbutter.gif|Communism food system - largely involves butter, for building up [[fat|blubber]] for those harsh, Russian winters.
File:Commiebear.jpg|Meet Communism Bear. Sharing is caring, and also the law.
File:CommunismMp3.png|When you [[pirate]] [[MP3]]s, you're downloading Communism.
File:CommunismOpenSource.jpg|When you program [[open source]], you're programming Communism.
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Communismnevertried.jpg|Communism has never been tried.
File:Kopey.jpg|The administrator for America's Communist Party.
File:CommieMudkipz.jpg|[[In Soviet Russia...|In Soviet Russia]], [[Mudkip]]z liek u!
File:Eastgermankitteh.jpg|Suffering under the insufferable yoke of communism.
File:spot the commie.jpg|Modern day communist. Note the lack of [[capitalism|consumer goods]] but abundance of industrial products and the general practicality of dress, emphasizing form over function.
File:CommieMarxistApproach.png
File:CommieMassMurderer.jpg
File:Commie Shitposter.png
File:Communism Truth world.jpg
File:CommunismIsJudaism.jpg
File:CommunismKillCount.gif
File:Gommie School.jpg|Communist Utopia
File:Communist Reality Person.jpg
File:Communismmassmurder.jpg
File:Communismjoki.jpg
File:Communistutopia.png
File:Communistamerica.png
File:Communistjews.jpg
File:Logicatitsfinest.jpg
File:Communismmeansdeath.png|Commies are the biggest [[Mass Murder]]ers of all time.
File:lolputin.jpg|[[Leave Bond to me|Ex-KGB head and current Russian president makes a cameo appearance in ''James Bond'': Fuck it, I quit.]]
File:MARIOISACOMMUNIST.png|Not just for Russians anymore.
File:NazionalBolshevik_girl.jpg|Communist slut whore for the bourgeoisie
File:Commie_power.jpg|Serious commie guy. Maybie Zangief.
File:Lenninreloaded.jpg|Communists <3 [[cat]]s.
File:Stalin_vs_Martians_-_We_cannot_lose_with_Stalin_on_our_side.png|Because he has lit [[Nuke|the Suns of Peace]].
File:Communist internet.JPG|Oh god, it's everywhere!
File:Lenin dealer.jpg|This is how communism usually begins.
File:Anti comic sans 04.jpg
File:Capitalismcommunismfascism.png
File:Politicalcensorship.jpg
File:LeninLegend.png|John Lenin
File:ComCapNat.jpg
File:Lenin_with_an_afro.jpg|Leninigger
File:CommunistEarth.jpg|What Communists truly want
File:Communist Party.gif
File:StalinOPcool.jpg
File:82percentjewish.jpg
File:Commieball.png
File:COMMUNISM.jpg
File:Harry Is Communist.png
File:Communism KILLS.png
File:SocilizmVSKOMMIEism.jpg
File:Modern Commies.jpg
File:Commie Biker.jpg
File:Thumbsupcommie.jpg
File:Communistmanifesto.jpg
File:Capcomfaclii.jpg
File:RedHammerComing.gif
</gallery>}}
<br>
==Famous Communists==

[[Image:Commie_Beard.jpg|thumb|200px|Yeah, but Mao was a faggot.]]
[[Image:CommmiesUnite640.jpg|thumb]]

*[[Ahuviya Harel]]{{Jew}}/[[Adf-fuensalida]]{{Jew}}
*[[Che Guevara]]
*[[Hepkitten]]
*[[Karl Marx]]{{jew}}
*[[Lenincat]]
*[[Lmao Zedong]]
*[[Pol Pot]]
*[[Rainbow Stalin]]
*[[Cuba|Fidel Castro]]
*[[Hugo Chavez]]
*[[Kim Jong-Un]]

==See Also==
*[[Forum Trolling#RevLeft|Revleft]]
*[[Anonymous Borg]]
*[[Asalieri]]
*[[Cultural Marxism]]
*[[Hivemind]]
*[[Homefront]]
*[[Leftard]]
*[[Linux]]
*[[Red Army]]
*[[Socialist]]
*[[Socialist Workers Party]]
*[[Social Justice]]
*[[Vocational Independence Program]]
*[[Wikipedia]]
*[[Xynta]]
*[[Zapatistas]]
*[[Palestine]]
*[[Carlos Latuff]]
*[[Sootyjared]]
*[[COVID-19|Communist Lung Herpes (COVID-19)]]

==External Links==
[[Image:MIA_hard_drives_for_sale.jpg|thumb|<s>[https://www.marxists.org/admin/hd-external/index.htm Buy the MIA now!]</s> no longer available]]
*[https://www.marxists.org/ Marxists.org]
*<s>[http://www.acp.forumwise.com/ America's Communist Party]</s> - LOL, GOATSE'D ([https://web.archive.org/web/20070617122709/http://www.acp.forumwise.com/ First Archive]) ([https://web.archive.org/web/20111026070926/http://acp.forumwise.com/ Last Archive])
*[http://communism.org/ Informal Communist Discussion]
*'''{{archive|Ho3PI|Communism vs. Capitalism by Russia}}'''
*[https://indymedia.org/ Independent Media Center]
*<s>[http://www.marxmail.org MARXMAIL]</s> (dead) '''{{archive|XBB1|(Archived)}}'''
*{{wikilink|Main_Page|Wikipedia}}
*{{fbgroup|278239048333|One of Shitbook's Communist Fangroup}}
*{{UkrED|Комуністи|UkrDramatica's article on communists}}
<br>
{{Business}}
{{Jewseries}}
{{politics}}
{{Russia}}
{{truth}}
<br>
{{timeline|Featured article August 8 through August 11, 2020|[[George Floyd]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Teabagging]]}}

{{Timeline|Article of the now May 11 & 12, [[2026]]|[[Kanye West]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Clanker]]}}

[[Category: Epithets]] [[Category:Rusfags|Rusfags]]

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now

2026-05-12T22:37:09Z

The PolishPrince: /* May 2026 */

''See also [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now|Article of the Now]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now|Video of the Now]], and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now|Picture of the Now]]''
{{Notice|
*Only [[special:listAdmins|Sysops]] and [[special:listUsers/Editors|Editors]] can make quotes. Suggestions go on the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica talk:Quote of the Now|Talk Page]].
*Set QOTNs for 2 days. Copy the link of the added quote and paste it for the second day.
*Don't forget to edit this page and title your quotes after adding them.
*Read the above line again.
*Use this [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN|JavaScript]] to easily generate the wiki markup for next month's Quote of the Now.}}
{{Policy2|ED:QOTN}}

<div style="border: thick red dotted; spacing: .5em; font-size: 50pt; line-height: 50pt; width=100%; text-align: center;"><span class="mainpageheading">SET YOUR FUCKING QUOTE TITLES ON THIS PAGE YOU [[lazy|LAZY]] FUCKS</span></div>

Archives:
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2025|2025]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2024|2024]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2023|2023]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2022|2022]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2021|2021]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2020|2020]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2019|2019]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2018|2018]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2017|2017]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2016|2016]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2015|2015]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2014|2014]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2013|2013]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/Archive 1|2011-2012]]

__TOC__

== May 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 31, 2026|May 31, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 30, 2026|May 30, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 29, 2026|May 29, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 28, 2026|May 28, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 27, 2026|May 27, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 26, 2026|May 26, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 25, 2026|May 25, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 24, 2026|May 24, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 23, 2026|May 23, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 22, 2026|May 22, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 21, 2026|May 21, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 20, 2026|May 20, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 19, 2026|May 19, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 18, 2026|May 18, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 17, 2026|May 17, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 16, 2026|May 16, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 15, 2026|May 15, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 14, 2026|May 14, 2026 - William Blake]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 13, 2026|May 13, 2026 - William Blake]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 12, 2026|May 12, 2026 - Via]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 11, 2026|May 11, 2026 - Via]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 10, 2026|May 10, 2026 - Kayla]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 9, 2026|May 9, 2026 - Kayla]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 8, 2026|May 8, 2026 - Kipling]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 7, 2026|May 7, 2026 - Kipling]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 6, 2026|May 6, 2026 - King Ronn0]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 5, 2026|May 5, 2026 - King Ronn0]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 4, 2026|May 4, 2026 - David Bowie]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 3, 2026|May 3, 2026 - David Bowie]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 2, 2026|May 2, 2026 - Avi Roy]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 1, 2026|May 1, 2026 - Avi Roy]]

== April 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 30, 2026|April 30, 2026 - Immanuel Kant]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 29, 2026|April 29, 2026 - Immanuel Kant]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 28, 2026|April 28, 2026 - Jum]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 27, 2026|April 27, 2026 - Jum]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 26, 2026|April 26, 2026 - Fishious]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 25, 2026|April 25, 2026 - Fishious]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 24, 2026|April 24, 2026 - Bill Nye]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 23, 2026|April 23, 2026 - Bill Nye]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 22, 2026|April 22, 2026 - Birthday Twins]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 21, 2026|April 21, 2026 - Birthday Twins]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 20, 2026|April 20, 2026 - Timothy Leary]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 19, 2026|April 19, 2026 - Timothy Leary]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 18, 2026|April 18, 2026 - Beaniefan]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 17, 2026|April 17, 2026 - Beanifan]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 16, 2026|April 16, 2026 - Sociopath]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 15, 2026|April 15, 2026 - Sociopath]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 14, 2026|April 14, 2026 - Mario Galaxy]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 13, 2026|April 13, 2026 - Mario Galaxy]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 12, 2026|April 12, 2026 - Latke]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 11, 2026|April 11, 2026 - Latke]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 10, 2026|April 10, 2026 - Vanessa]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 9, 2026|April 9, 2026 - Vanessa]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 8, 2026|April 8, 2026 -
Jean Baudrillard]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 7, 2026|April 7, 2026 -
Jean Baudrillard]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 6, 2026|April 6, 2026 -
Friedrich Nietzsche]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 5, 2026|April 5, 2026 -
Friedrich Nietzsche]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 4, 2026|April 4, 2026 - Jean Raspail]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 3, 2026|April 3, 2026 - Jean Raspail]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 2, 2026|April 2, 2026 - Mark Twain]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 1, 2026|April 1, 2026 - Mark Twain]]

== March 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 31, 2026|March 31, 2026 - Ted Hughes]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 30, 2026|March 30, 2026 - Ted Hughes]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 29, 2026|March 29, 2026 - Wapital]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 28, 2026|March 28, 2026 - Wapital]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 27, 2026|March 27, 2026 - Carl Jung]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 26, 2026|March 26, 2026 - Carl Jung]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 25, 2026|March 25, 2026 - Jay Humor]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 24, 2026|March 24, 2026 - Jay Humor]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 23, 2026|March 23, 2026 - Repair His Door]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 22, 2026|March 22, 2026 - Repair His Door]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 21, 2026|March 21, 2026 - Mt Everest]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 20, 2026|March 20, 2026 - Mt Everest]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 19, 2026|March 19, 2026 - The Notorious J.O.V.]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 18, 2026|March 18, 2026 - The Notorious J.O.V.]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 17, 2026|March 17, 2026 - Seamus Heaney]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 16, 2026|March 16, 2026 - Andy Ogles]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 15, 2026|March 15, 2026 - Andy Ogles]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 14, 2026|March 14, 2026 - Pinto]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 13, 2026|March 13, 2026 - Pinto]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 12, 2026|March 12, 2026 - Schweppe]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 11, 2026|March 11, 2026 - Schweppe]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 10, 2026|March 10, 2026 - Homeland Security]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 9, 2026|March 9, 2026 - Homeland Security]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 8, 2026|March 8, 2026 - Joe Biden]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 7, 2026|March 7, 2026 - Joe Biden]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 6, 2026|March 6, 2026 - may1be]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 5, 2026|March 5, 2026 - may1be]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 4, 2026|March 4, 2026 - Sick kid]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 3, 2026|March 3, 2026 - Sick kid]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 2, 2026|March 2, 2026 - Rush Limbaugh]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 1, 2026|March 1, 2026 -
Rush Limbaugh]]

== February 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 28, 2026|February 28, 2026 - Staxx]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 27, 2026|February 27, 2026 - Staxx]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 26, 2026|February 26, 2026 - Please Don't Apply]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 25, 2026|February 25, 2026 - Please Don't Apply]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 24, 2026|February 24, 2026 - Mariana]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 23, 2026|February 23, 2026 - Mariana]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 22, 2026|February 22, 2026 - Bullshit Tip]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 21, 2026|February 21, 2026 - Bullshit Tip]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 20, 2026|February 20, 2026 - Lovechazelle]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 19, 2026|February 19, 2026 - Lovechazelle]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 18, 2026|February 18, 2026 - Debit Card Theft]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 17, 2026|February 17, 2026 - Debit Card Theft]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 16, 2026|February 16, 2026 - J Geils Band]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 15, 2026|February 15, 2026 - J Geils Band]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 14, 2026|February 14, 2026 - olympics]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 13, 2026|February 13, 2026 - olympics]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 12, 2026|February 12, 2026 - DinoCon UK had Epstein-linked people]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 11, 2026|February 11, 2026 -DinoCon UK had Epstein-linked people]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 10, 2026|February 10, 2026 - John Madden on Super Bowl]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 9, 2026|February 9, 2026 - John Madden on Super Bowl]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 8, 2026|February 8, 2026 - Elon Musk]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 7, 2026|February 7, 2026 - Elon Musk]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 6, 2026|February 6, 2026 - Morgan Freeman]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 5, 2026|February 5, 2026 - Morgan Freeman]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 4, 2026|February 4, 2026 - Big Boulder]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 3, 2026|February 3, 2026 - Big Boulder]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 2, 2026|February 2, 2026 - moot and epstein one]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 1, 2026|February 1, 2026 - moot and epstein one]]

== January 2026 ==
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 31, 2026|January 31, 2026 - Job application]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 30, 2026|January 30, 2026 - Job applications]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 29, 2026|January 29, 2026 - DOOMENIC]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 28, 2026|January 28, 2026 - DOOMENIC]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 27, 2026|January 27, 2026 - Bring back the camel]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 26, 2026|January 26, 2026 - Bring back the camel]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 25, 2026|January 25, 2026 - Disney AI]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 24, 2026|January 24, 2026 - Disney AI]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 23, 2026|January 23, 2026 - Freedom of Speech]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 22, 2026|January 22, 2026 - Freedom of Speech]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 21, 2026|January 21, 2026 - Jeff Bezos]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 20, 2026|January 20, 2026 - Jeff Bezos]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 19, 2026|January 19, 2026 - Marvin Gaye]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 18, 2026|January 18, 2026 - Marvin Gaye]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 17, 2026|January 17, 2026 - Sheriff Snorlax]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 16, 2026|January 16, 2026 - Sheriff Snorlax]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 15, 2026|January 15, 2026 - John Ashbrook]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 14, 2026|January 14, 2026 - John Ashbrook]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 13, 2026|January 13, 2026 - Sherrod DeHippo]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 12, 2026|January 12, 2026 - Sherrod DeHippo]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 11, 2026|January 11, 2026 - Sylvia Plath]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 10, 2026|January 10, 2026 - Sylvia Plath]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 9, 2026|January 9, 2026 - Caitlin Johnstone]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 8, 2026|January 8, 2026 - Caitlin Johnstone]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 7, 2026|January 7, 2026 - R. Lee Ermey]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 6, 2026|January 6, 2026 - R. Lee Ermey]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 5, 2026|January 5, 2026 - Wolverine]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 4, 2026|January 4, 2026 - Wolverine]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 3, 2026|January 3, 2026 - claire de lune]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 2, 2026|January 2, 2026 - Claire de lune]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 1, 2026|January 1, 2026 - Bill Watterson]]

[[Category:Encyclopedia Dramatica|{{PAGENAME}}]]

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 14, 2026

2026-05-12T22:36:32Z

The PolishPrince: Created page with " {{Quote|<center>The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom</center>|William Blake: The Marriage of Heaven and Hell}}"

{{Quote|<center>The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom</center>|William Blake: The Marriage of Heaven and Hell}}

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 13, 2026

2026-05-12T22:35:47Z

The PolishPrince: Created page with " {{Quote|<center>The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom</center>|William Blake: The Marriage of Heaven and Hell}}"

{{Quote|<center>The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom</center>|William Blake: The Marriage of Heaven and Hell}}

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now

2026-05-12T22:29:25Z

The PolishPrince: /* May 2026 */

✹''See also [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now|Quote of the Now]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now|Video of the Now]], and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now|Picture of the Now]]''
{{Notice|
*Only [[special:listAdmins|Sysops]] and [[special:listUsers/Editors|Editors]] may make AOTNs. Suggestions go on the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica talk:Article of the Now|Talk Page]].
*Don't paste the entire article for the AOTN feature. Use a '''short summary''' with a non-thumbed image.
* Don't forget to put '''<nowiki>{{timeline}}</nowiki>''' at the bottom of the actual featured page..
*'''No Animated GIFs''' in AOTN summary, the stress of showing a GIF on the main page basically makes the site DoS itself.
*Please set something that is relevant to the current times.
*Add the title of the new AOTN to the timeline of the previous AOTN.
*Set AOTNs for '''TWO DAYS.''' Copy the link of the added AOTN and paste it for the second day.
*Don't forget to edit this page and add the article's title to ''both'' days.
*Use this [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN|JavaScript]] to easily generate the wiki markup for next month's Article of the Now.
*AOTNs created before April 14, 2011 are viewable [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/Old|here]].}}

Archives:
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2025|2025]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2024|2024]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2023|2023]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2022|2022]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2021|2021]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2020|2020]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2019|2019]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2018|2018]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2017|2017]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2016|2016]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2015|2015]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2014|2014]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2013|2013]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2012|2012]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/2011|2011]]

__TOC__

== May 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 31, 2026|May 31, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 30, 2026|May 30, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 29, 2026|May 29, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 28, 2026|May 28, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 27, 2026|May 27, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 26, 2026|May 26, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 25, 2026|May 25, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 24, 2026|May 24, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 23, 2026|May 23, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 22, 2026|May 22, 2026]] - [[Goth]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 21, 2026|May 21, 2026]] - [[Goth]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 20, 2026|May 20, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 19, 2026|May 19, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 18, 2026|May 18, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 17, 2026|May 17, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 16, 2026|May 16, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 15, 2026|May 15, 2026]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 14, 2026|May 14, 2026]] - [[Clanker]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 13, 2026|May 13, 2026]] - [[Clanker]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 12, 2026|May 12, 2026]] - [[Communism]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 11, 2026|May 11, 2026]] - [[Communism]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 10, 2026|May 10, 2026]] - [[Kanye West]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 9, 2026|May 9, 2026]] - [[Kanye West]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 8, 2026|May 8, 2026]] - [[Nazi]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 7, 2026|May 7, 2026]] - [[Nazi]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 6, 2026|May 6, 2026]] - [[Star Wars]] (for Star Wars Day and Revenge Of The Fifth)
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 5, 2026|May 5, 2026]] - [[Star Wars]] (for Star Wars Day and Revenge Of The Fifth)
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 4, 2026|May 4, 2026]] - [[Freedom of speech]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 3, 2026|May 3, 2026]] - [[Freedom of speech]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 2, 2026|May 2, 2026]] [[Munich Massacre]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 1, 2026|May 1, 2026]] [[Munich Massacre]]

== April 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 30, 2026|April 30, 2026]] - [[Johnny Somali]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 29, 2026|April 29, 2026]] - [[Johnny Somali]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 28, 2026|April 28, 2026]] - [[Copycat killers]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 27, 2026|April 27, 2026]] - [[Copycat killers]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 26, 2026|April 26, 2026]] - [[Gooning]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 25, 2026|April 25, 2026]] - [[Gooning]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 24, 2026|April 24, 2026]] - [[Jasmine Richardson]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 23, 2026|April 23, 2026]] - [[Jasmine Richardson]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 22, 2026|April 22, 2026]] - [[Jason Thomas Nichols]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 21, 2026|April 21, 2026]] - [[Jason Thomas Nichols]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 20, 2026|April 20, 2026]] - [[Drug]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 19, 2026|April 19, 2026]] - [[Drug]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 18, 2026|April 18, 2026]] - [[Archive.is]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 17, 2026|April 17, 2026]] - [[Archive.is]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 16, 2026|April 16, 2026]] - [[Creationist]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 15, 2026|April 15, 2026]] - [[Creationist]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 14, 2026|April 14, 2026]] - [[Asperger's Syndrome]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 13, 2026|April 13, 2026]] - [[Asperger's Syndrome]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 12, 2026|April 12, 2026]] - [[Battle for Dream Island]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 11, 2026|April 11, 2026]] - [[Battle for Dream Island]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 10, 2026|April 10, 2026]] - [[Roblox]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 9, 2026|April 9, 2026]] - [[Roblox]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 8, 2026|April 8, 2026]] - [[Operation: Fat Fuck]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 7, 2026|April 7, 2026]] - [[Operation: Fat Fuck]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 6, 2026|April 6, 2026]] - [[Easter]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 5, 2026|April 5, 2026]] - [[Easter]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 4, 2026|April 4, 2026]] - [[Jews]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 3, 2026|April 3, 2026]] - [[Jews]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 2, 2026|April 2, 2026]] - [[I did it for the lulz]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 1, 2026|April 1, 2026]] - [[I did it for the lulz]]

== March 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 31, 2026|March 31, 2026]] - [[Animator320]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 30, 2026|March 30, 2026]] - [[Animator320]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 29, 2026|March 29, 2026]] - [[Ariana Grande]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 28, 2026|March 28, 2026]] - [[Ariana Grande]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 27, 2026|March 27, 2026]] - [[Richard Spenser]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 26, 2026|March 26, 2026]] - [[Richard Spenser]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 25, 2026|March 25, 2026]] - [[Plagiarism]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 24, 2026|March 24, 2026]] - [[Plagiarism]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 23, 2026|March 23, 2026]] - [[Chuck Norris]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 22, 2026|March 22, 2026]] - [[Chuck Norris]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 21, 2026|March 21, 2026]] - [[Fishtank Live]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 20, 2026|March 20, 2026]] - [[Fishtank Live]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 19, 2026|March 19, 2026]] - [[KOSA]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 18, 2026|March 18, 2026]] - [[KOSA]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 17, 2026|March 17, 2026]] - [[Ginger]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 16, 2026|March 16, 2026]] - [[8chan]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 15, 2026|March 15, 2026]] - [[8chan]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 14, 2026|March 14, 2026]] - [[Philadelphia]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 13, 2026|March 13, 2026]] - [[Philadelphia]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 12, 2026|March 12, 2026]] - [[Jon Schweppe]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 11, 2026|March 11, 2026]] - [[Jon Schweppe]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 10, 2026|March 10, 2026]] - [[Incel]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 9, 2026|March 9, 2026]] - [[Incel]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 8, 2026|March 8, 2026]] - [[Muslim Massacre]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 7, 2026|March 7, 2026]] - [[Muslim Massacre]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 6, 2026|March 6, 2026]] - [[The War of Northern Aggression]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 5, 2026|March 5, 2026]] - [[The War of Northern Aggression]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 4, 2026|March 4, 2026]] - [[Inflation art]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 3, 2026|March 3, 2026]] - [[Inflation art]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 2, 2026|March 2, 2026]] - [[Mary Bell]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 1, 2026|March 1, 2026]] - [[Mary Bell]]

== February 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 28, 2026|February 28, 2026]] - [[KOSA]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 27, 2026|February 27, 2026]] - [[KOSA]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 26, 2026|February 26, 2026]] - [[Incontinence]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 25, 2026|February 25, 2026]] - [[Incontinence]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 24, 2026|February 24, 2026]] - [[764]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 23, 2026|February 23, 2026]] - [[764]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 22, 2026|February 22, 2026]] - [[Jeffrey Epstein]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 21, 2026|February 21, 2026]] - [[Jeffrey Epstein]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 20, 2026|February 20, 2026]] - [[Foxler Nightfire]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 19, 2026|February 19, 2026]] - [[Foxler Nightfire]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 18, 2026|February 18, 2026]] - [[Alyssa Bustamante]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 17, 2026|February 17, 2026]] - [[Alyssa Bustamante]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 16, 2026|February 16, 2026]] - [[Love]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 15, 2026|February 15, 2026]] - [[Love]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 14, 2026|February 14, 2026]] - [[Faggot]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 13, 2026|February 13, 2026]] - [[Faggot]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 12, 2026|February 12, 2026]] - [[Meow Wars]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 11, 2026|February 11, 2026]] - [[Meow Wars]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 10, 2026|February 10, 2026]] - [[Black History Month]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 9, 2026|February 9, 2026]] - [[Black History Month]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 8, 2026|February 8, 2026]] - [[GothBloodVampire88]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 7, 2026|February 7, 2026]] - [[GothBloodVampire88]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 6, 2026|February 6, 2026]] - [[Stupid]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 5, 2026|February 5, 2026]] - [[Stupid]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 4, 2026|February 4, 2026]] - [[NIGGER MANUAL]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 3, 2026|February 3, 2026]] - [[NIGGER MANUAL]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 2, 2026|February 2, 2026]] - [[Pathways: Game - Amelia]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article Of The Now/February 1, 2026|February 1, 2026]] - [[Pathways: Game - Amelia]]

== January 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 31, 2026|January 31, 2026]] - [[ICE]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 30, 2026|January 30, 2026]] - [[ICE]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 29, 2026|January 29, 2026]] - [[Getting away with it]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 28, 2026|January 28, 2026]] - [[Getting away with it]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 27, 2026|January 27, 2026]] - [[Jew Nersey]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 26, 2026|January 26, 2026]] - [[Jew Nersey]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 25, 2026|January 25, 2026]] - [[Morgan Geyser & Anissa Weier]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 24, 2026|January 24, 2026]] - [[Morgan Geyser & Anissa Weier]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 23, 2026|January 23, 2026]] - [[DINDUNUFFIN]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 22, 2026|January 22, 2026]] - [[DINDUNUFFIN]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 21, 2026|January 21, 2026]] - [[Kurt Eichenbald]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 20, 2026|January 20, 2026]] - [[Kurt Eichenbald]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 19, 2026|January 19, 2026]] - [[Internets]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 18, 2026|January 18, 2026]] - [[Internets]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 17, 2026|January 17, 2026]] - [[MLK]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 16, 2026|January 16, 2026]] - [[MLK]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 15, 2026|January 15, 2026]] - [[Dilbert]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 14, 2026|January 14, 2026]] - [[Dilbert]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 13, 2026|January 13, 2026]] - [[Global Warming]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 12, 2026|January 12, 2026]] - [[Global Warming]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 11, 2026|January 11, 2026]] - [[Incelcore]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 10, 2026|January 10, 2026]] - [[Incelcore]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 9, 2026|January 9, 2026]] - [[Freedom of speech]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 8, 2026|January 8, 2026]] - [[Freedom of speech]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 7, 2026|January 7, 2026]] - [[Nautica Malone]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 6, 2026|January 6, 2026]] - [[Nautica Malone]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 5, 2026|January 5, 2026]] - [[Serial Experiments Lain]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 4, 2026|January 4, 2026]] - [[Serial Experiments Lain]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 3, 2026|January 3, 2026]] - [[Changed]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 2, 2026|January 2, 2026]] - [[Changed]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 1, 2026|January 1, 2026]] - [[2025]]

[[Category:Encyclopedia Dramatica|{{PAGENAME}}]]

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 14, 2026

2026-05-12T22:28:22Z

The PolishPrince: Created page with " {{:Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 13, 2026}}"

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 13, 2026

2026-05-12T22:27:21Z

The PolishPrince: Created page with " {{AOTN|Clanker|Clanker-isOurWord.jpeg| The word '''clanker''' is a pejorative that is derogatory to AI and robots. With the rise of AI and the widespread visibility of robots in day-to-day life, people are worried that they'll be replaced by those artificial beings in some kind of... replacement on a mass scale. So the word "clanker" began to be used commonly to express those beliefs. |If Robotic Lovers Ever Become A Reality Will They Make Bio-Androids That C..."

{{AOTN|Clanker|Clanker-isOurWord.jpeg|

The word '''clanker''' is a pejorative that is derogatory to [[AI]] and [[robots]]. With the rise of AI and the widespread visibility of robots in day-to-day life, people are worried that they'll be replaced by those artificial beings in some kind of... replacement on a mass scale. So the word "clanker" began to be used commonly to express those beliefs.

|If Robotic Lovers Ever Become A Reality Will They Make Bio-Androids That Can Breed To Keep Humanity From Disappearing?|Communism|Kanye West|Nazi}}

Scientology Speedrunning

2026-05-12T02:59:39Z

The PolishPrince:

Scientology Speedrunning

2026-05-12T02:35:20Z

The PolishPrince:

File:Scientology hallway pic.jpeg

2026-05-12T02:15:56Z

The PolishPrince:

Scientology Speedrunning

2026-05-12T01:56:50Z

The PolishPrince:

File:Tiny tom cruise stwie.jpeg

2026-05-12T01:35:49Z

The PolishPrince:

File:Scientology midget raid.jpg

2026-05-12T01:33:40Z

The PolishPrince:

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/VOTN

2026-05-12T00:53:54Z

The PolishPrince:

<noinclude></noinclude><div class="xotn-section" id="votn">
{{XOTN/VOTN
|title=

|video=<center>{{#ev:youtube|bW00ncfpby8|370}}</center>

|caption=

|description=

|date=2026-5-12
|expires=2026-5-13
|editor=[[User:CrackRabbit]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/POTN

2026-05-12T00:52:38Z

The PolishPrince:

<div class="xotn-section" id="potn">
{{XOTN/POTN|

image=I dont have the Hantavirus I caught Hentaivirus though.JPG

|caption=

|description=

|width=350
|date=2026-5-12
|expires=2026-5-13
|editor=[[User:CrackRabbit]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now

2026-05-11T02:43:23Z

The PolishPrince: /* May 2026 */

{{Notice|
'''New Management System:''' Current VOTN is managed at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/VOTN]].
This page archives historical content and provides date-based navigation.
}}

== Current Video ==

'''Currently Featured:''' {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/VOTN}}


== Full Archives ==


''See also [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now|Article of the Now]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now|Quote of the Now]], and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now|Picture of the Now]]''
{{Notice|
* Only [[special:listAdmins|Sysops]] and [[special:listUsers/Editors|Editors]] may make VOTNs. Suggestions go on the [[Encyclopedia_Dramatica_talk:Video_of_the_Now|Talk Page]].
* Captions are ''optional''. If you can, [[pipe]] them to articles so they'll get more love and attention.
* Don't forget to '''edit this page''' and add the video's title to the right day.
* Protect the page so that no newfags can fuck with them. (Don't use cascade protection)
* Try to avoid setting videos past (7 days) from the current day. ''Give others a chance to post.'' '''Put up good Suggested Videos'''.
* It is suggested that you ''download'' the videos as they are full of drama which makes them volatile and prone to deletion. Should a video be taken down, please replace it with a mirror.
** If you sign up as a Wayback Machine user, you can archive videos there. Saves a lot of hassle. (Use [[Template:waybackvid]] to 'dress' your links.)
* Use this [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN|JavaScript]] to easily generate the wiki markup for next month's Video of the Now.}}

Archives:
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2025|2025]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2024|2024]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2023|2023]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2022|2022]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2021|2021]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2020|2020]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2019|2019]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2018|2018]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2017|2017]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2016|2016]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2015|2015]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2014|2014]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2013|2013]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/2012|2012]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

__TOC__

== May 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 31, 2026|May 31, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 30, 2026|May 30, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 29, 2026|May 29, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 28, 2026|May 28, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 27, 2026|May 27, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 26, 2026|May 26, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 25, 2026|May 25, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 24, 2026|May 24, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 23, 2026|May 23, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 22, 2026|May 22, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 21, 2026|May 21, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 20, 2026|May 20, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 19, 2026|May 19, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 18, 2026|May 18, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 17, 2026|May 17, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 16, 2026|May 16, 2026 - When to run like hell]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 15, 2026|May 15, 2026 - women see what they've done]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 14, 2026|May 14, 2026 - Two Suns In The Sunset]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 13, 2026|May 13, 2026 - dangers that'll catch stupid people]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 12, 2026|May 12, 2026 - dumbest reasons people were fired]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 11, 2026|May 11, 2026 - "Ulterior Motives" master tapes found - lost media]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 10, 2026|May 10, 2026 - zombie Nazis]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 9, 2026|May 9, 2026 - Woke Comics]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 8, 2026|May 8, 2026 - Poopgate by PatrickCC]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 7, 2026|May 7, 2026 - Afterlife]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 6, 2026|May 6, 2026 - Johnny Somali]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 5, 2026|May 5, 2026 - Fishtank]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 4, 2026|May 4, 2026 - Why blacks aren't getting hired]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 3, 2026|May 3, 2026 - Bartkira]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 2, 2026|May 2, 2026 - Southpark vs Rick & Morty]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 1, 2026|May 1, 2026 - $cientology Raids/speedruns are a thing again]]

== April 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 30, 2026|April 30, 2026 - Pranked most racist town]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 29, 2026|April 29, 2026 - Bill Maher On Woke Politics]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 28, 2026|April 28, 2026 - FishTank]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 27, 2026|April 27, 2026 - Tv faked storylines]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 26, 2026|April 26, 2026 - Johnny Somali]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 25, 2026|April 25, 2026 - Superman vs Homelander]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 24, 2026|April 24, 2026 - lolcows and fashion (Slop Roach)]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 23, 2026|April 23, 2026 - Honest Trailers: Predator]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 22, 2026|April 22, 2026 - Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 21, 2026|April 21, 2026 - Doorbell guy meme greenscreen]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 20, 2026|April 20, 2026 - Because I Got High]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 19, 2026|April 19, 2026 - Bumper stcker bandit]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 18, 2026|April 18, 2026 - Carl Sagan]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 17, 2026|April 17, 2026 - Fishtank Twerking midget]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 16, 2026|April 16, 2026 - Internet Archive in danger - SOG channel]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 15, 2026|April 15, 2026 - Bill Burr: I don't work here]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 14, 2026|April 14, 2026 - Sinbad Dracula]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 13, 2026|April 13, 2026 - Strange Experiences]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 12, 2026|April 12, 2026 - worst product names]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 11, 2026|April 11, 2026 - Fishtank]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 10, 2026|April 10, 2026 - You are already dead]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 9, 2026|April 9, 2026 - Don't Be A Menace]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 8, 2026|April 8, 2026 - sick psychology]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 7, 2026|April 7, 2026 - The Dumbest Generation]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 6, 2026|April 6, 2026 - people that will die alone]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 5, 2026|April 5, 2026 - peter cottontail]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 4, 2026|April 4, 2026 - 3 little pigs]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 3, 2026|April 3, 2026 - Goku vs Chuck Norris]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 2, 2026|April 2, 2026 - Lies we've been told]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/April 1, 2026|April 1, 2026 - pranks]]

== March 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 31, 2026|March 31, 2026 - AI Girlfriend]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 30, 2026|March 30, 2026 - George Carlin]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 29, 2026|March 29, 2026 - Bill Burr - Sex Robots]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 28, 2026|March 28, 2026 - Suing the SomethingAwful Forums]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 27, 2026|March 27, 2026 - Why Cereal got rid of toys]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 26, 2026|March 26, 2026 - Internet Eras Be Like... (animation)]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 25, 2026|March 25, 2026 - Yung Blud]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 24, 2026|March 24, 2026 - How Asuka lost her eye]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 23, 2026|March 23, 2026 - Mental Outlaw discusses "online age verification"]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 22, 2026|March 22, 2026 - Afroman speaks after winning a police-filed SLAPP lawsuit]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 21, 2026|March 21, 2026 - Chuck Norris Compilation]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 20, 2026|March 20, 2026 - Life of a Snitch]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 19, 2026|March 19, 2026 - haunted houses]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 18, 2026|March 18, 2026 - corporate darwin awards]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 17, 2026|March 17, 2026 - Dropkick Murpheys]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 16, 2026|March 16, 2026 - skaying to pink floyd]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 15, 2026|March 15, 2026 - Bill pushes Hillary into traffic]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 14, 2026|March 14, 2026 - kids entertainment by cults]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 13, 2026|March 13, 2026 - Worst cover songs]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 12, 2026|March 12, 2026 - Who copied who first]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 11, 2026|March 11, 2026 - Goodwill demands chemo shoplifter arrested]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 10, 2026|March 10, 2026 - 'freedom of speech' song/vid by Afroman]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 9, 2026|March 9, 2026 - How cult leaders died]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 8, 2026|March 8, 2026 - Things banned forever]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 7, 2026|March 7, 2026 - Don't date robots]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 6, 2026|March 6, 2026 - Anya in Yor's job]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 5, 2026|March 5, 2026 - Greta Thundercunt gets roasted]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 4, 2026|March 4, 2026 - a day in the life of an enshittifier]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 3, 2026|March 3, 2026 - You got me fired]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 2, 2026|March 2, 2026 - Cotradicting Celebs]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica: Video of the Now/March 1, 2026|March 1, 2026 - Two Suns]]

== February 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 28, 2026|February 28, 2026 - got the stair signs all wrong]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 27, 2026|February 27, 2026 - Power Rangers die]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 26, 2026|February 26, 2026 - Butt plugs]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 25, 2026|February 25, 2026 - Shrek 2]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 24, 2026|February 24, 2026 - Repzion: Onision DENIED in Court]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 23, 2026|February 23, 2026 - Ashton Kutcher Fan fic]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 22, 2026|February 22, 2026 - Lego trap]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 21, 2026|February 21, 2026 - Mental Outlaw vid on Discord Spying]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 20, 2026|February 20, 2026 - Woman sues man for cooking]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 19, 2026|February 19, 2026 - Anti-Valentines Day Movement]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 18, 2026|February 18, 2026 - discrepanzy 1]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 17, 2026|February 17, 2026 - Comedians Destroy Hecklers]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 16, 2026|February 16, 2026 - Rooster Fighter]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 15, 2026|February 15, 2026 - Lazy Sunday]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 14, 2026|February 14, 2026 - Saturday The 14th]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 13, 2026|February 13, 2026 - Chris Rock]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 12, 2026|February 12, 2026 - the dude in the red dress]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 11, 2026|February 11, 2026 - Faces Of Death 2026 reboot teaser trailer]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 10, 2026|February 10, 2026 - ICE agents]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 9, 2026|February 9, 2026 - The '80s called]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 8, 2026|February 8, 2026 - Bad Parents in cartoons]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 7, 2026|February 7, 2026 - Yakuza]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 6, 2026|February 6, 2026 - Metal Songs]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 5, 2026|February 5, 2026 - Tipping thieves]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 4, 2026|February 4, 2026 - Sex toys vs. women]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 3, 2026|February 3, 2026 - Goku vs Superman]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 2, 2026|February 2, 2026 - Astronomey]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/February 1, 2026|February 1, 2026 - Fat girl angle shot]]

== January 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 31, 2026|January 31, 2026 - Car crashes into airport]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 30, 2026|January 30, 2026 - Pink Floyd Live]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 29, 2026|January 29, 2026 - Rob Schneider WW II]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 28, 2026|January 28, 2026 - Gaming is only for the rich]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 27, 2026|January 27, 2026 - Jobs where you can legally kill someone]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 26, 2026|January 26, 2026 - Don't google these sites]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 25, 2026|January 25, 2026 - Minecraft]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 24, 2026|January 24, 2026 - Making chloroform]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 23, 2026|January 23, 2026 - bruce lee]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 22, 2026|January 22, 2026 - Typical Reddit Mod]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 21, 2026|January 21, 2026 - Typical Reddit Mod]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 20, 2026|January 20, 2026 - Feeling bad for bullies]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 19, 2026|January 19, 2026 - The Reid Technique]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 18, 2026|January 18, 2026 - Stupid Human Tricks]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 17, 2026|January 17, 2026 - GTA Charlie Kirk Mission]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 16, 2026|January 16, 2026 - Family Guy in Israel]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 15, 2026|January 15, 2026 - Malcolm X on MLK]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 14, 2026|January 14, 2026 - Fatal Frame 2]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 13, 2026|January 13, 2026 - welcome to the digital world - Dr Slappers]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 12, 2026|January 12, 2026 - Everybody Hurts]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 11, 2026|January 11, 2026 - Sofia Vargara slaps Jimmy Kimmel]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 10, 2026|January 10, 2026 - Know when you're being used]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 9, 2026|January 9, 2026 - illegal Amazon products]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 8, 2026|January 8, 2026 - types of street fighters]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 7, 2026|January 7, 2026 - Astronaut Conspiracy]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 6, 2026|January 6, 2026 - Kanye West]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 5, 2026|January 5, 2026 - American Samurai]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 4, 2026|January 4, 2026 - Mario cart done by HBO]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 3, 2026|January 3, 2026 - giving up citizenship]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 2, 2026|January 2, 2026 - Man buttfucks snowman killer]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/January 1, 2026|January 1, 2026 - Walking home after a nuke]]

[[Category:Encyclopedia Dramatica|{{PAGENAME}}]]

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/May 16, 2026

2026-05-11T02:42:45Z

The PolishPrince: Created page with " <center><youtube>https://youtu.be/CgLHIur5Ij8</youtube></center>"

<center><youtube>https://youtu.be/CgLHIur5Ij8</youtube></center>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now

2026-05-11T02:36:20Z

The PolishPrince: /* May 2026 */

''See also [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now|Article of the Now]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now|Video of the Now]], and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now|Quote of the Now]]''
{{Notice|
*Only [[special:listAdmins|Sysops]] and [[special:listUsers/Editors|Editors]] can set POTNs. Suggestions go on the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica talk:Picture of the Now|Talk Page]].
*Find a relevant ('''recent''' events) picture that doesn't suck. THERE IS TO BE NO [[pr0nz|porn]] or [[kittens|gore]] as POTN; and preferably no tl;dr screen caps of all text posts like Tweets etc; those can be [[QOTN]].
*No Animated GIFs; the stress of showing a GIF on the main page basically makes the site DDoS itself.
*Captions are optional. If you can, pipe them to articles so they get more love and attention.
*After setting your photo, edit this page, find your [[special]] day, and replace <nowiki>File:Hello POTN.jpg</nowiki> with the correct filename.
*Please avoid setting pictures past (7) days from the ''current day''. Check on the Suggestions; add something lulzy.
*Give other people a chance to add pictures.
*Setting a picture for an additional day ''can'' be acceptable, but please avoid doing this unless time is almost out and there's no future POTNs set.
*NOTE: detailed instructions for setting POTN are in the description box when you edit this page.
*Use this [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN|JavaScript]] to easily generate the wiki markup for next month's Picture of the Now.}}



Archives:
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2025|2025]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2024|2024]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2023|2023]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2022|2022]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2021|2021]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2018|2018]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2017|2017]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2016|2016]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2015|2015]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2014|2014]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2013|2013]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2012|2012]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2011|2011]]

__TOC__

== May 2026 ==

{{cg|May|May3026|Center|<gallery>

File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 31, 2026|May 31, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 30, 2026|May 30, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 29, 2026|May 29, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 28, 2026|May 28, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 27, 2026|May 27, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 26, 2026|May 26, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 25, 2026|May 25, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 24, 2026|May 24, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 23, 2026|May 23, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 22, 2026|May 22, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 21, 2026|May 21, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 20, 2026|May 20, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 19, 2026|May 19, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 18, 2026|May 18, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 17, 2026|May 17, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 16, 2026|May 16, 2026]]}}
File:The truth of Mario.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 15, 2026|May 15, 2026]]}}
File:Warning coyote sign.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 14, 2026|May 14, 2026]]}}
File:Hail Satan welcome sign.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 13, 2026|May 13, 2026]]}}
File:Intelligent baby gate use.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 12, 2026|May 12, 2026]]}}
File:Please exercise don't talk.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 11, 2026|May 11, 2026]]}}
File:Anal birthday 2.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 10, 2026|May 10, 2026]]}}
File:Sonic Says Don't Talk To The Police.JPG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 9, 2026|May 9, 2026]]}}
File:It's VE Day.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 8, 2026|May 8, 2026]]}}
File:Dusters contain gluten.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 7, 2026|May 7, 2026]]}}
File:Fill up that beaver.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 6, 2026|May 6, 2026]]}}
File:Fake maga influencer.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 5, 2026|May 5, 2026]]}}
File:Dude, Where's my shirt .jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 4, 2026|May 4, 2026]]}}
File:White Privilege shirt.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 3, 2026|May 3, 2026]]}}
File:Yu-gi-oh gravestone.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 2, 2026|May 2, 2026]]}}
File:Bad plot in bagman.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 1, 2026|May 1, 2026]]}}

</gallery>}}

== April 2026 ==

{{cg|April|April2026|Center|<gallery>

File:Cookie vs biscuits.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 30, 2026|April 30, 2026]]}}
File:Fuck attractive people.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 29, 2026|April 29, 2026]]}}
File:Bitch dign).jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 28, 2026|April 28, 2026]]}}
File:Jesus and folly.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 27, 2026|April 27, 2026]]}}
File:404 not apartment.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 26, 2026|April 26, 2026]]}}
File:Itsmybirthdayandiwantsealpotnok.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 25, 2026|April 25, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:Have-it-your-way.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 24, 2026|April 24, 2026]]}}
File:Vegetables on twitter.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 23, 2026|April 23, 2026]]}}
File:Misplaced letters.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 22, 2026|April 22, 2026]]}}
File:Ice truck funny.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 21, 2026|April 21, 2026]]}}
File:It's mein birthday.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 20, 2026|April 20, 2026]]}}
File:Trump thinks he's christ.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 19, 2026|April 19, 2026]]}}
File:Cat in the hat counting.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 18, 2026|April 18, 2026]]}}
File:Did-you-jerk-today.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 17, 2026|April 17, 2026]]}}
File:Scarey vet add.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 16, 2026|April 16, 2026]]}}
File:Animals want cell phones.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 15, 2026|April 15, 2026]]}}
File:Tin foil hats.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 14, 2026|April 14, 2026]]}}
File:French-Panda-Express.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 13, 2026|April 13, 2026]]}}
File:Gluten-free-tv-mount-1.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 12, 2026|April 12, 2026]]}}
File:Jesus plays Yu-Gi-Oh.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 11, 2026|April 11, 2026]]}}
File:Like and post blue.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 10, 2026|April 10, 2026]]}}
File:Logical math.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 9, 2026|April 9, 2026]]}}
File:Laxatives and sleeping pills.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 8, 2026|April 8, 2026]]}}
File:Yorkie chewbacca.png|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 7, 2026|April 7, 2026]]}}
File:Calvin and hobbies musings on life.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 6, 2026|April 6, 2026]]}}
File:Chris-chan giving a sermon.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 5, 2026|April 5, 2026]]}}
File:Door warning do not.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 4, 2026|April 4, 2026]]}}
File:Human McFries.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 3, 2026|April 3, 2026]]}}
File:Best ass meat pork.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 2, 2026|April 2, 2026]]}}
File:Pie in your face meme - comedy becomes offensive.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 1, 2026|April 1, 2026]]}}

</gallery>}}

== March 2026 ==

{{cg|March|March2026|Center|<gallery>

File:Do Not Pass Go card parody- Release the files, Trump.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 31, 2026|March 31, 2026]]}}
File:Harry Potter jar game.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 30, 2026|March 30, 2026]]}}
File:Just-leaving-this-here.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 29, 2026|March 29, 2026]]}}
File:Trendy fucker kid.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 28, 2026|March 28, 2026]]}}
File:Dog stick library.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 27, 2026|March 27, 2026]]}}
File:Itsmybirthdayandiwantsealpotnok.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 26, 2026|March 26, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:Buzz and Woody.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 25, 2026|March 25, 2026]]}}
File:Getting these for me and girl - Chud and Foid shirts.JPG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 24, 2026|March 24, 2026]]}}
File:Kicked out of stained glass class.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 23, 2026|March 23, 2026]]}}
File:Filthy cheater steve.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 22, 2026|March 22, 2026]]}}
File:Chuck loses to Death.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 21, 2026|March 21, 2026]]}}
File:My new air fryer.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 20, 2026|March 20, 2026]]}}
File:Got your fudge packed.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 19, 2026|March 19, 2026]]}}
File:A-good-dry-rub.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 18, 2026|March 18, 2026]]}}
File:Drink til your irish.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 17, 2026|March 17, 2026]]}}
File:Finger paint 1.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 16, 2026|March 16, 2026]]}}
File:Jerk off grill.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 15, 2026|March 15, 2026]]}}
File:Chicken with jew.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 14, 2026|March 14, 2026]]}}
File:Low expectations mug.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 13, 2026|March 13, 2026]]}}
File:Short barrel shooters.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 12, 2026|March 12, 2026]]}}
File:Wine tattoo.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 11, 2026|March 11, 2026]]}}
File:Elevator instructions.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 10, 2026|March 10, 2026]]}}
File:How to use toilet.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 9, 2026|March 9, 2026]]}}
File:Yu gonna get nuked.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 8, 2026|March 8, 2026]]}}
File:I Identify as Superman.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 7, 2026|March 7, 2026]]}}
File:Magic-Truck-Ice-Cream.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 6, 2026|March 6, 2026]]}}
File:Brat with telescope.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 5, 2026|March 5, 2026]]}}
File:Lego cat set.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 4, 2026|March 4, 2026]]}}
File:AE We Know Drama waifu2x-upscaled.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 3, 2026|March 3, 2026]]}}
File:Honest-motivational-banner.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 2, 2026|March 2, 2026]]}}
File:Buried with boob implants meme.JPEG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 1, 2026|March 1, 2026]]}}
</gallery>}}

== February 2026 ==

{{cg|February|February2026|Center|<gallery>

File:Tanks and goqn.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 28, 2026|February 28, 2026]]}}
File:Worlds most comfy man has mattress taped to back - tv news report.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 27, 2026|February 27, 2026]]}}
File:Unsweet-Ice-T.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 26, 2026|February 26, 2026]]}}
File:Need government to protect my child.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 25, 2026|February 25, 2026]]}}
File:I-come-quickly.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 24, 2026|February 24, 2026]]}}
File:Ten PA Commandments.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 23, 2026|February 23, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:Me standing up to women.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 22, 2026|February 22, 2026]]}}
File:Animal in fire.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 21, 2026|February 21, 2026]]}}
File:Anti valentines day bash.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 20, 2026|February 20, 2026]]}}
File:Dont ask me - im going insane.JPG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 19, 2026|February 19, 2026]]}}
File:Kitchen-hand-job.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 8, 2026|February 18, 2026]]}}
File:Seaside-Plumbing.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 17, 2026|February 17, 2026]]}}
File:Fun facts w Squidward - Do Not Upload Your IDs to The Web.JPG||{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 16, 2026|February 16, 2026]]}}
File:Speedlimit 25mph.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 15, 2026|February 15, 2026]]}}
File:They call him Mr. Tinkertrain.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 14, 2026|February 14, 2026]]}}
File:Chinese kids are weird.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 13, 2026|February 13, 2026]]}}
File:Thursday the 12th.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 12, 2026|February 12, 2026]]}}
File:Yes!! Our team won the superbowl.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 11, 2026|February 11, 2026]]}}
File:When she tries to kiss you.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 10, 2026|February 10, 2026]]}}
File:Rockbottomrandy.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 9, 2026|February 9, 2026]]}}
File:They steamroller.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 8, 2026|February 8, 2026]]}}
File:Batman vs wolverine.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 7, 2026|February 7, 2026]]}}
File:Ramen mistake.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 6, 2026|February 6, 2026]]}}
File:Colder than a witches tit.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 5, 2026|February 5, 2026]]}}
File:Wolf open mouth teeth.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 4, 2026|February 4, 2026]]}}
File:Niggah done stole mah bike.png|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 3, 2026|February 3, 2026]]}}
File:Fuck black history month Sammy l.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 2, 2026|February 2, 2026]]}}
File:Joker xenomorph 11.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 1, 2026|February 1, 2026]]}}

</gallery>}}

== January 2026 ==

{{cg|January|January2026|Center|<gallery>
File:GTA 6 meme by fake handshake.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 31, 2026|January 31, 2026]]}}
File:All Cops Bastards Are.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 30, 2026|January 30, 2026]]}}
File:Black Lives Don't Matter.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 29, 2026|January 29, 2026]]}}
File:AT-AT poop.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 28, 2026|January 28, 2026]]}}
File:Me need woman store.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 27, 2026|January 27, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:English MotherFucker Sammy j.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 26, 2026|January 26, 2026]]}}
File:Batman on a rascal.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 25, 2026|January 25, 2026]]}}
File:General custard getting pwnd.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 24, 2026|January 24, 2026]]}}
File:Rose is evil cat.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 23, 2026|January 23, 2026]]}}
File:Is stupid a new trend.png|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 22, 2026|January 22, 2026]]}}
File:Mad in need of change.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 21, 2026|January 21, 2026]]}}
File:Open air urinals.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 20, 2026|January 20, 2026]]}}
File:Penis guy.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 19, 2026|January 19, 2026]]}}
File:Woman and noisy in Japanese.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 18, 2026|January 18, 2026]]}}
File:Fat Racoon.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 17, 2026|January 17, 2026]]}}
File:Ceiling cat is back.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 16, 2026|January 16, 2026]]}}
File:Martin luther king assassination detail2 belray 800.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 15, 2026|January 15, 2026]]}}
File:Opposite day meme.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 14, 2026|January 14, 2026]]}}
File:Men vs women looking for a partner.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 13, 2026|January 13, 2026]]}}
File:The Gay Hockey Book.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 12, 2026|January 12, 2026]]}}
File:Do not feed sharks.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 11, 2026|January 11, 2026]]}}
File:Kelly Americas Cartoonist - Baby New Year cartoon 2025-2026.jpeg |{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 10, 2026|January 10, 2026]]}}
File:The Boy Who Wasn't Unalived.PNG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 9, 2026|January 9, 2026]]}}
File:Happy birthday elvis.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 8, 2026|January 8, 2026]]}}
File:Nautica Malone song.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 7, 2026|January 7, 2026]]}}
File:Reeno Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous comic strip.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 6, 2026|January 6, 2026]]}}
File:Ninja cat with ghost.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 5, 2026|January 5, 2026]]}}
File:Batman slap.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 4, 2026|January 4, 2026]]}}
File:The Santa Epstein list.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 3, 2026|January 3, 2026]]}}
File:Zombie new years resolution.png|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 2, 2026|January 2, 2026]]}}
File:Zombie life 2026.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 1, 2026|January 1, 2026]]}}

</gallery>}}

[[Category:Encyclopedia Dramatica|{{PAGENAME}}]]

Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 15, 2026

2026-05-11T02:35:42Z

The PolishPrince: Created page with " 350px"

[[File:The truth of Mario.jpg|center|350px]]

File:The truth of Mario.jpg

2026-05-11T02:35:10Z

The PolishPrince:

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now

2026-05-11T02:33:55Z

The PolishPrince: /* May 2026 */

''See also [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now|Article of the Now]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now|Video of the Now]], and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now|Quote of the Now]]''
{{Notice|
*Only [[special:listAdmins|Sysops]] and [[special:listUsers/Editors|Editors]] can set POTNs. Suggestions go on the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica talk:Picture of the Now|Talk Page]].
*Find a relevant ('''recent''' events) picture that doesn't suck. THERE IS TO BE NO [[pr0nz|porn]] or [[kittens|gore]] as POTN; and preferably no tl;dr screen caps of all text posts like Tweets etc; those can be [[QOTN]].
*No Animated GIFs; the stress of showing a GIF on the main page basically makes the site DDoS itself.
*Captions are optional. If you can, pipe them to articles so they get more love and attention.
*After setting your photo, edit this page, find your [[special]] day, and replace <nowiki>File:Hello POTN.jpg</nowiki> with the correct filename.
*Please avoid setting pictures past (7) days from the ''current day''. Check on the Suggestions; add something lulzy.
*Give other people a chance to add pictures.
*Setting a picture for an additional day ''can'' be acceptable, but please avoid doing this unless time is almost out and there's no future POTNs set.
*NOTE: detailed instructions for setting POTN are in the description box when you edit this page.
*Use this [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN|JavaScript]] to easily generate the wiki markup for next month's Picture of the Now.}}



Archives:
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2025|2025]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2024|2024]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2023|2023]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2022|2022]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2021|2021]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2018|2018]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2017|2017]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2016|2016]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2015|2015]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2014|2014]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2013|2013]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2012|2012]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/2011|2011]]

__TOC__

== May 2026 ==

{{cg|May|May3026|Center|<gallery>

File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 31, 2026|May 31, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 30, 2026|May 30, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 29, 2026|May 29, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 28, 2026|May 28, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 27, 2026|May 27, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 26, 2026|May 26, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 25, 2026|May 25, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 24, 2026|May 24, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 23, 2026|May 23, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 22, 2026|May 22, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 21, 2026|May 21, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 20, 2026|May 20, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 19, 2026|May 19, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 18, 2026|May 18, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 17, 2026|May 17, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 16, 2026|May 16, 2026]]}}
File:Hello POTN.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 15, 2026|May 15, 2026]]}}
File:Warning coyote sign.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 14, 2026|May 14, 2026]]}}
File:Hail Satan welcome sign.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 13, 2026|May 13, 2026]]}}
File:Intelligent baby gate use.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 12, 2026|May 12, 2026]]}}
File:Please exercise don't talk.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 11, 2026|May 11, 2026]]}}
File:Anal birthday 2.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 10, 2026|May 10, 2026]]}}
File:Sonic Says Don't Talk To The Police.JPG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 9, 2026|May 9, 2026]]}}
File:It's VE Day.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 8, 2026|May 8, 2026]]}}
File:Dusters contain gluten.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 7, 2026|May 7, 2026]]}}
File:Fill up that beaver.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 6, 2026|May 6, 2026]]}}
File:Fake maga influencer.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 5, 2026|May 5, 2026]]}}
File:Dude, Where's my shirt .jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 4, 2026|May 4, 2026]]}}
File:White Privilege shirt.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 3, 2026|May 3, 2026]]}}
File:Yu-gi-oh gravestone.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 2, 2026|May 2, 2026]]}}
File:Bad plot in bagman.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 1, 2026|May 1, 2026]]}}

</gallery>}}

== April 2026 ==

{{cg|April|April2026|Center|<gallery>

File:Cookie vs biscuits.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 30, 2026|April 30, 2026]]}}
File:Fuck attractive people.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 29, 2026|April 29, 2026]]}}
File:Bitch dign).jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 28, 2026|April 28, 2026]]}}
File:Jesus and folly.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 27, 2026|April 27, 2026]]}}
File:404 not apartment.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 26, 2026|April 26, 2026]]}}
File:Itsmybirthdayandiwantsealpotnok.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 25, 2026|April 25, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:Have-it-your-way.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 24, 2026|April 24, 2026]]}}
File:Vegetables on twitter.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 23, 2026|April 23, 2026]]}}
File:Misplaced letters.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 22, 2026|April 22, 2026]]}}
File:Ice truck funny.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 21, 2026|April 21, 2026]]}}
File:It's mein birthday.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 20, 2026|April 20, 2026]]}}
File:Trump thinks he's christ.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 19, 2026|April 19, 2026]]}}
File:Cat in the hat counting.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 18, 2026|April 18, 2026]]}}
File:Did-you-jerk-today.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 17, 2026|April 17, 2026]]}}
File:Scarey vet add.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 16, 2026|April 16, 2026]]}}
File:Animals want cell phones.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 15, 2026|April 15, 2026]]}}
File:Tin foil hats.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 14, 2026|April 14, 2026]]}}
File:French-Panda-Express.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 13, 2026|April 13, 2026]]}}
File:Gluten-free-tv-mount-1.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 12, 2026|April 12, 2026]]}}
File:Jesus plays Yu-Gi-Oh.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 11, 2026|April 11, 2026]]}}
File:Like and post blue.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 10, 2026|April 10, 2026]]}}
File:Logical math.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 9, 2026|April 9, 2026]]}}
File:Laxatives and sleeping pills.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 8, 2026|April 8, 2026]]}}
File:Yorkie chewbacca.png|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 7, 2026|April 7, 2026]]}}
File:Calvin and hobbies musings on life.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 6, 2026|April 6, 2026]]}}
File:Chris-chan giving a sermon.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 5, 2026|April 5, 2026]]}}
File:Door warning do not.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 4, 2026|April 4, 2026]]}}
File:Human McFries.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 3, 2026|April 3, 2026]]}}
File:Best ass meat pork.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 2, 2026|April 2, 2026]]}}
File:Pie in your face meme - comedy becomes offensive.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/April 1, 2026|April 1, 2026]]}}

</gallery>}}

== March 2026 ==

{{cg|March|March2026|Center|<gallery>

File:Do Not Pass Go card parody- Release the files, Trump.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 31, 2026|March 31, 2026]]}}
File:Harry Potter jar game.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 30, 2026|March 30, 2026]]}}
File:Just-leaving-this-here.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 29, 2026|March 29, 2026]]}}
File:Trendy fucker kid.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 28, 2026|March 28, 2026]]}}
File:Dog stick library.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 27, 2026|March 27, 2026]]}}
File:Itsmybirthdayandiwantsealpotnok.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 26, 2026|March 26, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:Buzz and Woody.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 25, 2026|March 25, 2026]]}}
File:Getting these for me and girl - Chud and Foid shirts.JPG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 24, 2026|March 24, 2026]]}}
File:Kicked out of stained glass class.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 23, 2026|March 23, 2026]]}}
File:Filthy cheater steve.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 22, 2026|March 22, 2026]]}}
File:Chuck loses to Death.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 21, 2026|March 21, 2026]]}}
File:My new air fryer.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 20, 2026|March 20, 2026]]}}
File:Got your fudge packed.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 19, 2026|March 19, 2026]]}}
File:A-good-dry-rub.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 18, 2026|March 18, 2026]]}}
File:Drink til your irish.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 17, 2026|March 17, 2026]]}}
File:Finger paint 1.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 16, 2026|March 16, 2026]]}}
File:Jerk off grill.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 15, 2026|March 15, 2026]]}}
File:Chicken with jew.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 14, 2026|March 14, 2026]]}}
File:Low expectations mug.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 13, 2026|March 13, 2026]]}}
File:Short barrel shooters.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 12, 2026|March 12, 2026]]}}
File:Wine tattoo.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 11, 2026|March 11, 2026]]}}
File:Elevator instructions.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 10, 2026|March 10, 2026]]}}
File:How to use toilet.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 9, 2026|March 9, 2026]]}}
File:Yu gonna get nuked.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 8, 2026|March 8, 2026]]}}
File:I Identify as Superman.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 7, 2026|March 7, 2026]]}}
File:Magic-Truck-Ice-Cream.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 6, 2026|March 6, 2026]]}}
File:Brat with telescope.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 5, 2026|March 5, 2026]]}}
File:Lego cat set.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 4, 2026|March 4, 2026]]}}
File:AE We Know Drama waifu2x-upscaled.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 3, 2026|March 3, 2026]]}}
File:Honest-motivational-banner.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 2, 2026|March 2, 2026]]}}
File:Buried with boob implants meme.JPEG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/March 1, 2026|March 1, 2026]]}}
</gallery>}}

== February 2026 ==

{{cg|February|February2026|Center|<gallery>

File:Tanks and goqn.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 28, 2026|February 28, 2026]]}}
File:Worlds most comfy man has mattress taped to back - tv news report.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 27, 2026|February 27, 2026]]}}
File:Unsweet-Ice-T.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 26, 2026|February 26, 2026]]}}
File:Need government to protect my child.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 25, 2026|February 25, 2026]]}}
File:I-come-quickly.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 24, 2026|February 24, 2026]]}}
File:Ten PA Commandments.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 23, 2026|February 23, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:Me standing up to women.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 22, 2026|February 22, 2026]]}}
File:Animal in fire.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 21, 2026|February 21, 2026]]}}
File:Anti valentines day bash.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 20, 2026|February 20, 2026]]}}
File:Dont ask me - im going insane.JPG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 19, 2026|February 19, 2026]]}}
File:Kitchen-hand-job.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 8, 2026|February 18, 2026]]}}
File:Seaside-Plumbing.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 17, 2026|February 17, 2026]]}}
File:Fun facts w Squidward - Do Not Upload Your IDs to The Web.JPG||{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 16, 2026|February 16, 2026]]}}
File:Speedlimit 25mph.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 15, 2026|February 15, 2026]]}}
File:They call him Mr. Tinkertrain.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 14, 2026|February 14, 2026]]}}
File:Chinese kids are weird.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 13, 2026|February 13, 2026]]}}
File:Thursday the 12th.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 12, 2026|February 12, 2026]]}}
File:Yes!! Our team won the superbowl.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 11, 2026|February 11, 2026]]}}
File:When she tries to kiss you.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 10, 2026|February 10, 2026]]}}
File:Rockbottomrandy.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 9, 2026|February 9, 2026]]}}
File:They steamroller.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 8, 2026|February 8, 2026]]}}
File:Batman vs wolverine.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 7, 2026|February 7, 2026]]}}
File:Ramen mistake.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 6, 2026|February 6, 2026]]}}
File:Colder than a witches tit.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 5, 2026|February 5, 2026]]}}
File:Wolf open mouth teeth.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 4, 2026|February 4, 2026]]}}
File:Niggah done stole mah bike.png|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 3, 2026|February 3, 2026]]}}
File:Fuck black history month Sammy l.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 2, 2026|February 2, 2026]]}}
File:Joker xenomorph 11.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/February 1, 2026|February 1, 2026]]}}

</gallery>}}

== January 2026 ==

{{cg|January|January2026|Center|<gallery>
File:GTA 6 meme by fake handshake.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 31, 2026|January 31, 2026]]}}
File:All Cops Bastards Are.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 30, 2026|January 30, 2026]]}}
File:Black Lives Don't Matter.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 29, 2026|January 29, 2026]]}}
File:AT-AT poop.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 28, 2026|January 28, 2026]]}}
File:Me need woman store.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 27, 2026|January 27, 2026]]}}

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:English MotherFucker Sammy j.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 26, 2026|January 26, 2026]]}}
File:Batman on a rascal.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 25, 2026|January 25, 2026]]}}
File:General custard getting pwnd.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 24, 2026|January 24, 2026]]}}
File:Rose is evil cat.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 23, 2026|January 23, 2026]]}}
File:Is stupid a new trend.png|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 22, 2026|January 22, 2026]]}}
File:Mad in need of change.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 21, 2026|January 21, 2026]]}}
File:Open air urinals.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 20, 2026|January 20, 2026]]}}
File:Penis guy.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 19, 2026|January 19, 2026]]}}
File:Woman and noisy in Japanese.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 18, 2026|January 18, 2026]]}}
File:Fat Racoon.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 17, 2026|January 17, 2026]]}}
File:Ceiling cat is back.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 16, 2026|January 16, 2026]]}}
File:Martin luther king assassination detail2 belray 800.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 15, 2026|January 15, 2026]]}}
File:Opposite day meme.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 14, 2026|January 14, 2026]]}}
File:Men vs women looking for a partner.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 13, 2026|January 13, 2026]]}}
File:The Gay Hockey Book.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 12, 2026|January 12, 2026]]}}
File:Do not feed sharks.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 11, 2026|January 11, 2026]]}}
File:Kelly Americas Cartoonist - Baby New Year cartoon 2025-2026.jpeg |{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 10, 2026|January 10, 2026]]}}
File:The Boy Who Wasn't Unalived.PNG|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 9, 2026|January 9, 2026]]}}
File:Happy birthday elvis.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 8, 2026|January 8, 2026]]}}
File:Nautica Malone song.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 7, 2026|January 7, 2026]]}}
File:Reeno Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous comic strip.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 6, 2026|January 6, 2026]]}}
File:Ninja cat with ghost.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 5, 2026|January 5, 2026]]}}
File:Batman slap.jpeg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 4, 2026|January 4, 2026]]}}
File:The Santa Epstein list.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 3, 2026|January 3, 2026]]}}
File:Zombie new years resolution.png|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 2, 2026|January 2, 2026]]}}
File:Zombie life 2026.jpg|{{center|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/January 1, 2026|January 1, 2026]]}}

</gallery>}}

[[Category:Encyclopedia Dramatica|{{PAGENAME}}]]

Encyclopedia Daramatica:Picture of the Now/May 14, 2026

2026-05-11T02:33:27Z

The PolishPrince: Created page with " 350px"

[[File:Warning coyote sign.jpg|center|350px]]

File:Warning coyote sign.jpg

2026-05-11T02:32:34Z

The PolishPrince:

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/VOTN

2026-05-11T02:31:43Z

The PolishPrince:

<noinclude></noinclude><div class="xotn-section" id="votn">
{{XOTN/VOTN
|title=

|video=<center>{{#ev:youtube|0rBhyGcLPwM|370}}</center>

|caption=

|description=

|date=2026-5-11
|expires=2026-5-12
|editor=[[User:CrackRabbit]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/POTN

2026-05-11T02:30:09Z

The PolishPrince:

<div class="xotn-section" id="potn">
{{XOTN/POTN|

image=Please exercise don't talk.jpg

|caption=

|description=

|width=350
|date=2026-5-11
|expires=2026-5-12
|editor=[[User:The PolishPrince]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/QOTN

2026-05-11T02:29:06Z

The PolishPrince:

<div class="xotn-section" id="qotn">
{{XOTN/QOTN|

quote=<center>

if somehow two mass shooters decide to shoot up the same place, same exact time, do you think they’d team up, try to kill eachother or ignore eachother</center>

|author=Via

|source=[http://archive.is/nlVBp archive]

|context=

|date=2026-5-011
|expires=2026-5-13
|editor=[[User:The PolishPrince]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/AOTN

2026-05-11T02:27:22Z

The PolishPrince:

<div class="xotn-section" id="aotn">
{{XOTN/AOTN
|title=[[Communism]]

|image=Commiebear.jpg|

|summary=

'''Cummunism''' is the belief that young hooligans who never have [[read a book]] are best fit to rule a country. Its proponents are school yard outcasts, scarecrows, people with a meanness-complex, butthurt [[Iran]]ians, men with a curved micro penis, tall people who want to fuck [[midget]]s, [[13-year-old boy]]s who's computer screen is stained from the amounts of masturbating they have done while watching videos of [[Stalin]] give speeches on people who were relatively poor in their childhood. Invented by [[Jew|Karl Marx]] [[last thursday]], [[cum|cummunism]] is the [[Final boss of the internets|final form]] of [[Liberal|liberalism]], the arch nemesis of [[capitalism]] and [[Fox News|some]] [[Republican|people]] say is the reason why [[fact|America is #1]] and why the rest of the world sucks. Under communism, there is no need for money, because all goods needed to support life are [[free]], which by "free" means you never actually get what you need and the bastards at the Party bathe in your hard-earned cash. This is why Communism failed: everybody loves money.
Communism was first theorized with the brick lit. convoluted multi volume ''Das Kapital'', which was written by [[Karl Marx]] [[at least 100 years ago]] [[Fail|before Marx realized that illiterate peasants weren't going to read convoluted multi volume books of political theory]], so condensed it to a pamphlet named ''[[Shit|Communist Manifesto]]''. It led to two paradigms we have today: Writing [[TL;DR]]-texts and the tradition of [[economics|economists]] to tell incomprehensible lies and flavor them with arcane [[math]].
{{quote|Enough is enough! I have had it with this motherfucking bourgeoisie dissin' the motherfucking proletariat!|Vladimir Lenin on the purpose of his life in general.}}
Lenin first turned communism into practice by establishing [[circle jerk]]s known as Soviets throughout Russia (''Soviet'' is Russian for council). He feigned his death and got replaced by a [[pretty cool guy]] known as [[Stalin]], who turned everything into a dicktatorship. When Lenin comes back, he will start a society consisting of "real" communism as opposed to the one that has been practiced in [[Afghanistan]], [[Albania]], Angola, Benin, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Cambodia, [[China]], [[Cuba]], Congo, Croatia, Czechoslovakia, Ethiopia, [[Germany]], [[Hungary]], Kosovo, Laos, Macedonia, Mongolia, Montenegro, Mozambique, [[Best Korea|North Korea]], [[Poland]]. [[Romania]], [[Russia]], Serbia, Slovenia, [[Somalia]], Yemen and [[Vietnam]].

<center><big>'''[[Communism|Redistribute The World's Wealth But Don't Touch Any of My Money]]</big></center>

|link=Communism

|date=2026-5-011
|expires=2026-5-13
|editor=[[User:The PolishPrince]]
|featured=true
}}

</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-size:9pt; margin-top:10px; padding:5px; background:#ebebff; border-radius:3px;">

'''What have I missed? [[Kanye West]] was 2 days ago • [[Nazi]] was 4 days ago • [[Star Wars]] was 6 days ago
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now

2026-05-11T02:23:29Z

The PolishPrince: /* May 2026 */

''See also [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now|Article of the Now]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now|Video of the Now]], and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now|Picture of the Now]]''
{{Notice|
*Only [[special:listAdmins|Sysops]] and [[special:listUsers/Editors|Editors]] can make quotes. Suggestions go on the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica talk:Quote of the Now|Talk Page]].
*Set QOTNs for 2 days. Copy the link of the added quote and paste it for the second day.
*Don't forget to edit this page and title your quotes after adding them.
*Read the above line again.
*Use this [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN|JavaScript]] to easily generate the wiki markup for next month's Quote of the Now.}}
{{Policy2|ED:QOTN}}

<div style="border: thick red dotted; spacing: .5em; font-size: 50pt; line-height: 50pt; width=100%; text-align: center;"><span class="mainpageheading">SET YOUR FUCKING QUOTE TITLES ON THIS PAGE YOU [[lazy|LAZY]] FUCKS</span></div>

Archives:
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2025|2025]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2024|2024]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2023|2023]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2022|2022]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2021|2021]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2020|2020]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2019|2019]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2018|2018]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2017|2017]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2016|2016]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2015|2015]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2014|2014]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/2013|2013]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/Archive 1|2011-2012]]

__TOC__

== May 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 31, 2026|May 31, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 30, 2026|May 30, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 29, 2026|May 29, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 28, 2026|May 28, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 27, 2026|May 27, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 26, 2026|May 26, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 25, 2026|May 25, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 24, 2026|May 24, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 23, 2026|May 23, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 22, 2026|May 22, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 21, 2026|May 21, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 20, 2026|May 20, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 19, 2026|May 19, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 18, 2026|May 18, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 17, 2026|May 17, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 16, 2026|May 16, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 15, 2026|May 15, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 14, 2026|May 14, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 13, 2026|May 13, 2026 - ]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 12, 2026|May 12, 2026 - Via]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 11, 2026|May 11, 2026 - Via]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 10, 2026|May 10, 2026 - Kayla]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 9, 2026|May 9, 2026 - Kayla]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 8, 2026|May 8, 2026 - Kipling]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 7, 2026|May 7, 2026 - Kipling]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 6, 2026|May 6, 2026 - King Ronn0]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 5, 2026|May 5, 2026 - King Ronn0]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 4, 2026|May 4, 2026 - David Bowie]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 3, 2026|May 3, 2026 - David Bowie]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 2, 2026|May 2, 2026 - Avi Roy]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/May 1, 2026|May 1, 2026 - Avi Roy]]

== April 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 30, 2026|April 30, 2026 - Immanuel Kant]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 29, 2026|April 29, 2026 - Immanuel Kant]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 28, 2026|April 28, 2026 - Jum]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 27, 2026|April 27, 2026 - Jum]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 26, 2026|April 26, 2026 - Fishious]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 25, 2026|April 25, 2026 - Fishious]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 24, 2026|April 24, 2026 - Bill Nye]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 23, 2026|April 23, 2026 - Bill Nye]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 22, 2026|April 22, 2026 - Birthday Twins]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 21, 2026|April 21, 2026 - Birthday Twins]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 20, 2026|April 20, 2026 - Timothy Leary]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 19, 2026|April 19, 2026 - Timothy Leary]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 18, 2026|April 18, 2026 - Beaniefan]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 17, 2026|April 17, 2026 - Beanifan]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 16, 2026|April 16, 2026 - Sociopath]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 15, 2026|April 15, 2026 - Sociopath]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 14, 2026|April 14, 2026 - Mario Galaxy]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 13, 2026|April 13, 2026 - Mario Galaxy]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 12, 2026|April 12, 2026 - Latke]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 11, 2026|April 11, 2026 - Latke]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 10, 2026|April 10, 2026 - Vanessa]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 9, 2026|April 9, 2026 - Vanessa]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 8, 2026|April 8, 2026 -
Jean Baudrillard]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 7, 2026|April 7, 2026 -
Jean Baudrillard]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 6, 2026|April 6, 2026 -
Friedrich Nietzsche]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 5, 2026|April 5, 2026 -
Friedrich Nietzsche]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 4, 2026|April 4, 2026 - Jean Raspail]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 3, 2026|April 3, 2026 - Jean Raspail]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 2, 2026|April 2, 2026 - Mark Twain]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/April 1, 2026|April 1, 2026 - Mark Twain]]

== March 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 31, 2026|March 31, 2026 - Ted Hughes]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 30, 2026|March 30, 2026 - Ted Hughes]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 29, 2026|March 29, 2026 - Wapital]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 28, 2026|March 28, 2026 - Wapital]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 27, 2026|March 27, 2026 - Carl Jung]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 26, 2026|March 26, 2026 - Carl Jung]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 25, 2026|March 25, 2026 - Jay Humor]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 24, 2026|March 24, 2026 - Jay Humor]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 23, 2026|March 23, 2026 - Repair His Door]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 22, 2026|March 22, 2026 - Repair His Door]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 21, 2026|March 21, 2026 - Mt Everest]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 20, 2026|March 20, 2026 - Mt Everest]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 19, 2026|March 19, 2026 - The Notorious J.O.V.]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 18, 2026|March 18, 2026 - The Notorious J.O.V.]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 17, 2026|March 17, 2026 - Seamus Heaney]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 16, 2026|March 16, 2026 - Andy Ogles]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 15, 2026|March 15, 2026 - Andy Ogles]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 14, 2026|March 14, 2026 - Pinto]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 13, 2026|March 13, 2026 - Pinto]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 12, 2026|March 12, 2026 - Schweppe]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 11, 2026|March 11, 2026 - Schweppe]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 10, 2026|March 10, 2026 - Homeland Security]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 9, 2026|March 9, 2026 - Homeland Security]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 8, 2026|March 8, 2026 - Joe Biden]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 7, 2026|March 7, 2026 - Joe Biden]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 6, 2026|March 6, 2026 - may1be]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 5, 2026|March 5, 2026 - may1be]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 4, 2026|March 4, 2026 - Sick kid]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 3, 2026|March 3, 2026 - Sick kid]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 2, 2026|March 2, 2026 - Rush Limbaugh]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/March 1, 2026|March 1, 2026 -
Rush Limbaugh]]

== February 2026 ==

*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 28, 2026|February 28, 2026 - Staxx]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 27, 2026|February 27, 2026 - Staxx]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 26, 2026|February 26, 2026 - Please Don't Apply]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 25, 2026|February 25, 2026 - Please Don't Apply]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 24, 2026|February 24, 2026 - Mariana]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 23, 2026|February 23, 2026 - Mariana]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 22, 2026|February 22, 2026 - Bullshit Tip]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 21, 2026|February 21, 2026 - Bullshit Tip]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 20, 2026|February 20, 2026 - Lovechazelle]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 19, 2026|February 19, 2026 - Lovechazelle]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 18, 2026|February 18, 2026 - Debit Card Theft]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 17, 2026|February 17, 2026 - Debit Card Theft]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 16, 2026|February 16, 2026 - J Geils Band]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 15, 2026|February 15, 2026 - J Geils Band]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 14, 2026|February 14, 2026 - olympics]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 13, 2026|February 13, 2026 - olympics]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 12, 2026|February 12, 2026 - DinoCon UK had Epstein-linked people]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 11, 2026|February 11, 2026 -DinoCon UK had Epstein-linked people]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 10, 2026|February 10, 2026 - John Madden on Super Bowl]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 9, 2026|February 9, 2026 - John Madden on Super Bowl]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 8, 2026|February 8, 2026 - Elon Musk]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 7, 2026|February 7, 2026 - Elon Musk]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 6, 2026|February 6, 2026 - Morgan Freeman]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 5, 2026|February 5, 2026 - Morgan Freeman]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 4, 2026|February 4, 2026 - Big Boulder]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 3, 2026|February 3, 2026 - Big Boulder]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 2, 2026|February 2, 2026 - moot and epstein one]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of The Now/February 1, 2026|February 1, 2026 - moot and epstein one]]

== January 2026 ==
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 31, 2026|January 31, 2026 - Job application]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 30, 2026|January 30, 2026 - Job applications]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 29, 2026|January 29, 2026 - DOOMENIC]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 28, 2026|January 28, 2026 - DOOMENIC]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 27, 2026|January 27, 2026 - Bring back the camel]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 26, 2026|January 26, 2026 - Bring back the camel]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 25, 2026|January 25, 2026 - Disney AI]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 24, 2026|January 24, 2026 - Disney AI]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 23, 2026|January 23, 2026 - Freedom of Speech]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 22, 2026|January 22, 2026 - Freedom of Speech]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 21, 2026|January 21, 2026 - Jeff Bezos]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 20, 2026|January 20, 2026 - Jeff Bezos]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 19, 2026|January 19, 2026 - Marvin Gaye]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 18, 2026|January 18, 2026 - Marvin Gaye]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 17, 2026|January 17, 2026 - Sheriff Snorlax]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 16, 2026|January 16, 2026 - Sheriff Snorlax]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 15, 2026|January 15, 2026 - John Ashbrook]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 14, 2026|January 14, 2026 - John Ashbrook]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 13, 2026|January 13, 2026 - Sherrod DeHippo]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 12, 2026|January 12, 2026 - Sherrod DeHippo]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 11, 2026|January 11, 2026 - Sylvia Plath]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 10, 2026|January 10, 2026 - Sylvia Plath]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 9, 2026|January 9, 2026 - Caitlin Johnstone]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 8, 2026|January 8, 2026 - Caitlin Johnstone]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 7, 2026|January 7, 2026 - R. Lee Ermey]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 6, 2026|January 6, 2026 - R. Lee Ermey]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 5, 2026|January 5, 2026 - Wolverine]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 4, 2026|January 4, 2026 - Wolverine]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 3, 2026|January 3, 2026 - claire de lune]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 2, 2026|January 2, 2026 - Claire de lune]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/January 1, 2026|January 1, 2026 - Bill Watterson]]

[[Category:Encyclopedia Dramatica|{{PAGENAME}}]]