2024

2024-08-17T00:03:30Z

Ponyo:

{{time}}
'''2024''' is [[The Current Year|the current year]]; and it already fucking sucks. It has been foretold to be just as boring, if not ''MORE'' boring than ''2023''. However, we can only wait and see. For no matter how corrupted the material is that we are given, it must be brought to the table.

If you need a recap of that other one, [[2023|click here]].

==January==

*1st
**We start the year with a 7.5 earthquake in Japan, which causes .[[Shit|several minor fires]] and 48 ppl go to the lobby. Also a Tsunami alarm was triggered but nippers disregarded it.
**[[Ethiopia]], [[Egypt]], [[Iran]], [[Saudi Arabia]], and the [[United Arab Emirates]] become members of BRICS. [[Argentina]] was also set to join [[no|but declined]].
**[[Aliens]] are reportedly spotted in [[Florida]]. Stay tuned for updates as this could either be [[attention whoring]] or the [[truth]].

*2nd
**A plane burns down in a crash with a militry plane in Japan, banning 5 suicidal bots.
**Again in chink zone AKA:Asia, in [[South Korea|Worst Korea]], a azn named [[Kim Jong-Un|Kim]], armed with a knife, stabs [[communist]] and opposition leader [[wikipedia:Lee Jae-myung|Lee Jae-myung]] [[Doing it wrong|in the neck, injuring him.]] Got arrested for being a massive faggot.

*3rd - 102 people are blown up while mourning the death of Iranian general [[terrorist|Qasem Soleimani]] at Kerman, Iran.

*4th
**Another [[transgender]] shooter, [[High_Score/Loserinfo#Dylan_Butler|Dylan Butler]], shoots up an [[Iowa]] school.
**Yet another terrible [[Star Wars]] film is announced, this time directed by a [[feminist]], as if the franchise hasn't been on life support for the past decade now.

*9th - [[Game Theory]] announces his retirement. Thank God.

*12th
**[[Fact|All for a good chef]], [[Wikipedia:Cooking with Lynja|Cooking With Lynja]] dies of [[sick fuck]] throat cancer.
**[[Hazbin Hotel|Hazbin]]'s early access episodes come out. [[Fact|The pilot has good animation unlike the series.]]

*15h
**Feeling the drought of anything remotely interesting happening in this month, many commentary YouTubers decided to jump [[Chris Hansen]] and [[Batman]] wannabe MamaMax.
**Due to having [[retardation|blind confidence in leaks]], over 1 million Chinese [[Genshin Impact]] fans would mass unfollow the game's official accounts due to not getting any free skins.

*17th - Some [[tranny]] [[Hbomberguy]] rip-off known as Lady Emily would get into retarded Discord drama with [[Black Lives Matter]] advocate [[Chuggaaconroy]] over feet pics with the latter being accused as [[freak|a creep]].

*20th - [[Inanimate Insanity]] Invitational's finale teaser comes out. As always, it's just [[shit no one cares about]].

*21st - Random Nigger Romeo Nance decides to shoot his family instead of a Basketball for once, pwns 8 noobs.

*29th - YouTuber Doktor Skipper would [[an hero]] his own career by uploading a video essentially shitting on nearly every [[Godzilla]] film with your average fandom tard rage damaging his reputation.

==February==
*1st - [[Black History Month]] begins. Prepare to see a [[nigger]]fest.
*7th - [[Vaush]], like the retard he is, would accidentally leak his own folder full of [[pedophile|loli horse porn]]. For some reason, he also does his taxes on said folder.
*15th - Unfunny irrelevant nigger pedo YouTuber [[Twomad]] overdoses on fentanyl while playing [[Overwatch]] and dies. Thank God.
*17th - An [[Iran|iranian]] man ('''[[Powerword|Bahram Jeshanpur]]'''{{muslim}}), pwns 12 of his relatives and injures 3 other, before being shot by [[Cops|the pigs]].
*25th - [[Aaron Bushnell|U.S. military serviceman]] livestreams himself [[an hero|an heroing]] by setting himself on fire outside of the [[Israel|Israeli embassy]] “in the name of [[Palestine]]”
*28th - The world's largest jailbreak would begin in [[Hæti]], organized by [[Barbecue|Jimmy "Barbecue" Chérizier]], thus beginning [[OM NOM NOM NOM|a new wave of riots, fighting, and cannibalism]].
*29th - Speaking of Palestine, Israel would pwn 118 and injure 760 Palestinians in Gaza City.

==March==
*1st - Akira Toriyama, creator of [[Dragon Ball Z]] has died at the ripe old age of 68 from a blood clot, 1 month before he turned 69.
*2nd - Backyardigans creator, Janice Burgess, dies at the age of 72.
*6th - [[Rooster Teeth]] begins a month-long process of shutting down. Ensue the tears of [[weeaboos]] and <s>[[oldfags]]</s> [[Autism|subhuman meat calculators]] alike.
*11th - The Noise Campaign in Pizza Tower is released. Fucking hit Peppino 100 times quickly or beat the fucking game to get him.
*12th -
** Alex Kister is revealed to have been a [[Pedophilia|pedophile]] and gets his [[Rape|ass]] canceled.
** [[StoneToss]] is doxed and exposed as a Jew.
*13th - [[Cripples|Ricky Berwick]] gets involved in Twitter drama after offending [[troon]]s as well as supporting Israel.
*22nd - [[ISIL]] [[Allahu Akbar|blows up]] a Russian stadium, killing 145 and injuring 551. The perpetrators later get [[v&]] and [[torture]]d by the Federal Security Service.
*26th - [[Azns]] go [[Pearl Harbor]] on the Francis Scott Key bridge in [[Baltimore]].
*28th - 45 people die in [[South Africa]] when a bus acquired a mind of it's own and drove off of a bridge.
*30th - Controversy goes on [[Twatter]] about if trans men can date lesbians. No, they fucking can't.

==April==
*1st -
** [[Asperger's Syndrome|Autism Awareness]] begins. Fuck those people.
** [[Germany]] legalises [[420]].
** [[Nigger|The niglet]] who got Taylor Grodin fired from [[Inanimate Insanity]] for racism gets fired from [[Battle for Dream Island]] for being transphobic.
*3rd - [[Uganda]] [[trolls]] the [[United Nations]] by continutingly refusing to disestablish the [[death penalty]] for [[homosexuals]].
*10th [[OJ Simpson]] left this [[Life|Mortal Coil]]. Now we'll never know who killed Nicole Brown Simpson

==May==
*3rd - [[Taking Down ED|ED DOWNS!]]
*13th - OMFG! [[GameStop Short Squeeze|GameStop Squeeze Again!]]
*19th -
** Dinnerbone comes out of nowhere to reveal what's inside tominecon.7z, IT'S A FUCKING [[Minecraft|MINECRAFT]] 1.0 WITH [[Java|JAVA]] INSTALLER! [[Hahaha no|But that didn't stop the cracker for cracking Mojang's old wifi Password.]]
** Ebrahim Raisi(President of [[Iran]]) was died in plane accident.
*23th - tominecon.7z password was cracked.
*24th -
** [[Doge]] dies. No wow anymore.
** Around 11 (suspected to be from 160 to 2,000) [[Niggers tongue my anus|Niggers]] [[Wikipedia:2024 Enga landslide|die in a landslide]] in [[Guinea Pig|Papua New Guinea]], 17 are non-fatally injured and 2,500+ are still missing.
*30th - [[The Donald]] is found guilty on [[34]] counts.

==June==
* 1st -
** [[Homosexuality|Fagfest]] starts once again.
** [[T-Series]] got BTFO by [[Mr Beast]]! No longer the most-subscribed channel on [[JewTube]]!

* 2nd - [[Shit nobody cares about|2024 Mexican elections]], [[Wimmins|'''Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo''']] is elected as [[Fail|the first female president]].
* 9th - What a nice day and [[ED]] DOWN AGAIN!
* 17th - [[ED]] returns under the .gay domain name.
* 23th - [[Terrorists|Five peaceful religious muslims]] strike at [[Russia]], AGAIN, but this time in [[Sand niggers|Dagestan]], permabanning 22 people (which [[Adolf Hitler|included jews]] and [[christians]]) and injured 45 others, before being [[Grand Theft Auto|wasted]] by [[Cops|teh pigs]].
* 21st - <s>Cody Connors disguises [[Dr DisRespect|Dr. DisRespect]]<nowiki></nowiki>'s ban from Twitch as a false rumor he was sexting an underage girl, but it's been disproven.</s>
** 25th - [[Dr DisRespect]] outs himself by admitting he sexted minors.
*26th - [[Retards|Some officers of the military]] in Bolivia tried to overthrow the government via a [[Moonspeak|coup d'état]], [[Epic fail|and it fucking failed]], need to learn from [[Augusto Pinochet|el tata]] next time.
*30th - [[Boogie2988]] parodies [[Andrew Tate]] to promote [[Cryptocurrency|Shitcoin]] (GONE WRONG).

==July==
*7th - [[Crunchyroll]] gets exposed for using [[AI]] to subtitle their [[animu]]s.
*8th - People start taking note of the [[TikTok]] AI covers of "Not Like Us" by Kendrick Lamar.
*12th - [[Boogie2988]] strikes again! This time, he pretended to have [[cancer]] and scammed more people.
*13th
**[[The Donald|Donald Trump]] [[Thomas Matthew Crooks|almost gets assassinated]]. If he had died, [[Joe Biden]] would've won.
**Kyle A. Carrozza gets arrested for [[CP]].
*16th - [[Microsoft]] lays off an entire DEI team. [[GamerGate]] is saved!
*19th - A buggy CrowdStrike update crashes a lot of [[Windows]] computers, causing outages all over the world.
*21st - [[Joe Biden]] makes a [[tl;dr]] {{twitter|JoeBiden/status/1815080881981190320|announcement}}. (Long story short: He dropped out.)
*23rd - [[Mr Beast]] finally kicks out [[Tranny|Ava Kris Tyson]]. (You guessed it, [[pedophilia]] again!)
*31st - [[Hamas]] leader Ismail Haniyeh gets assassinated in [[Iran]].

==August==
*8th - [[Ukraine]] invades [[Russia]] again! (Fuck Donbas, we must invade Kursk!)
*9th - [[Susan Wojcicki]] dies of cancer at the age of 56. (You can't blame her because she's dead!)
*12th - [[Soyjak.party]] gets temporarily suspended by [[Namecheap]].
*16th
**[[Valve]] decides to end [[TF2]]'s wokeness by removing the pride flags from the Desk Engineer.
**[[Shit nobody cares about|Some retard]] decided to fuck up [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] by creating yet another shitty attack article called "[[Icewillow9]]", with the braindead admins refusing to baleet the article, completely destroying what was left of ED's reputation.

==See Also==
*[[nope|Need a recap]] of the previous year? That's ok, we have you covered anyway: '''[[2023]]'''
*[[2022|Previous year to the previous year]]
*[[:Category:Years|Every other year available on ED.]]

{{history}}
{{Timeline|Dramatic Years|[[2023]]|2024|[[future|2025]]}}
[[Category:2024]]

Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

2024