Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

Penny Arcade

2026-06-12T02:04:35Z

LordGrimThInvincible: See also added

[[File:Penny Arcade logo.png|center|450px]]

[[Image:GabeAndTycho.jpg|thumb|left|Whenever an IRL image of Gabe and Tycho is submitted to Wookiepedia, they get their fanboys to quickly remove it.]]

'''''Penny Arcade''''', also known as ''Piggy Baldcade'', is up there with some of the [http://www.vgcats.com shittiest] [http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/ shit] that's ever been [http://www.megatokyo.com shat].

It is a direct [[Shit|result]] of the [[basement-dweller]]s responsible feeding on the [[santorum]] of funny - the disgusting bottom slush of [[anti-lulz]] that [[noone]] in their right minds wouldn't bother to draw a comic of.

The arrogance and sheer ignorance required to subject the [[Tycho|internets]] to this kind of mental vomit can be explained by the decaying filth being the ugly bastard son of witty comments on a gaming blog and the fact that it's [[animu|wenga]] drawn by [[unfunny]] geeks.

As the alleged funny in the comics is either ignored or not seen by [[mundanes]], a [[video games|specific subject]] has been chosen by the authors to furthermore point out the said [[lulz]] resulting in plenty of massive [[fail]].

[[Image:IT MUST BE LOVE.gif|thumb|right|Clip from the ''Penny Arcade'' sex tape.]]

[http://www.penny-arcade.com/ ''Penny Arcade''] requires you to read gaming news to understand the shit joke. "OMG TYCHO KILLED GABE FOR THE PAC MAN WATCH! SO ORIGINAL! I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT IN AN EARLIER COMIC!"

''Penny Arcade'' expects us to respect them because they have made as many as three funny comics over the course of five years and they give money to some charity or something about kids playing video games. Well, maybe they should be happy they don't have to play tripe like [[FF7]] and GTA3.

[[Image:Penny rape.jpg|thumb|left|One of their tamer comics. Trust me, you don't want to see the one where Gabe is shitting in Tycho's mouth.]]

[[Image:Penny retard.jpg|thumb|right|Typical conversation between characters. No one understands it, not even the makers.]]

==Art==
The art started out as something that could have been drawn by a 12 year old autistic kid wearing a football helmet, but soon evolved into the type of art that could be drawn by a [[13-year-old boy|13 year old autistic kid]] wearing a bike helmet.

[[Image:Idiots4.jpg|thumb|right|From left to right: Bald, Douchebag, and Pig-like in appearance.]]

[[Image:Gabe.JPG|thumb|Photographic evidence that these guys are flaming homos.]]

[[Image:Gay_pc.jpg|thumb|right|Bald, with his special [[casemod]] designed to attract little girls and faggots (it's all the same to him) for him to molest.]]

==Assault on the Ears==
Thanks to the widespread [[slavery|freedom]] that [[podcasting]] has offered every [[douche]] with [[unwarranted self importance]], we can now have the excitement of PA's creators jacking each other off and reading [[boring]] gaming news with their [[pedo|chymo]] voices.

==The Creators==
Not since ''[[Megatokyo]]'' or [[fursona]]s have the creators of a comic so overcompensated their looks. Keep in mind that in the beginning they were never supposed to be representations of Bald and Pig-like. Only through fans assuming they were did they become the sick and twisted fantasies of the two.

Tycho is portrayed as a [[rich and beautiful|handsome]] [[grammar Nazi]]. IRL he is bald and sports B-cup [[fat|moobs]].

Gabe is portrayed as a dashing smart-ass who uses a cardboard tube as a sword. IRL he looks like an unshowered Jew scarecrow with [[GRIDS]].

As of August 8, Tycho has admitted to now wearing dentures, most likely due to [[Jack Sparrow|scurvy]]. Apparently he never learned to drink a bit of orange juice in addition to his diet of [[fat|Cheetos]] and [[Mountain Dew]].

Both have given birth to children, whom they regularly abuse and then [http://www.penny-arcade.com/2006/10/30#1162232160 take photographic evidence].

They're actually pretty decent guys when compared to the other people in the [[Shit nobody cares about|Webcomic Industry]]. But when the people you're being compared to are the likes of [[Tim Buckley]] and [[Megatokyo|Fred-chan]] you don't really have to try very hard.

==/v/ Meme==
''Penny Arcade'' [[baby|spawned]] a damn fucking [[unfunny|horrible]] [[meme]] "Why I am so bald". It simply starred Tycho being bald.

=="Phorums"==
The site's forums have a long history, dating back to the original message board (termed the "phorum") users, or phags. The board is famous for its many 500 internal server errors, jail-rape, a disastrous social experiment where people posted in an unregulated board exactly as you would expect them to (cocks)and a webpocalypse brought about by calling someone's wife fat.

==PAX==

Every summer, thousands of ''Penny Arcade'' [[fgt]]s go to [[Seattle]] and [[secks|merge]] to become one massive gibbering and greasy example of how to fail at [[life]]. They call this PAX, or the [[virgin|Pussy Avoidance]] [[convention|Expo]]. This con, having replaced the presently [[penis|minuscule]] E3, is now, unfortunately, the biggest gaming con in the known universe. The largest attractions at PAX include "[[rape|dry-rape]] the two girls who [[asking for it|accidentally walked in]] the building," the Tycho/Gabe IRL [[fanfic|slash]] performance (on-stage and televised), and the mountains of pillows that, by the end of the weekend, are covered in [[smegma|gamer juices]] and smell worse than a bucket of curdled semen.
[[Image:baldo.jpg|thumb|left| His faggotry spawned a full length movie starring Vin Diesel]]

The only thing to do if your friends force you into going to this closeted [[furry]] [[gangbang]] is to [[spam]] the [[DS]] pictochat rooms with hand-drawn [[Goatse]] and [[Longcat]]. [[DESU]] spam and declaring the pictochat to be [[Habbo /B/lockade|closed due to AIDS]] is also [[popular]]. [[Lulz]] can be had watching the miserable 90-pound [[nerds]] discussing their Samus Aran rape fantasies threaten to "[[internet tough guy|close YOUR pool]]" over a hand-held game device, as the spam floods freely and [[Anonymous|anonymously]].

==Penny Arcade: Furry Sympathizers==

When the [[holocaust|Furocaust]] comes, ''Penny Arcade'' will no doubt try to safe-harbor the cockroaches. [http://www.penny-arcade.com/2007/07/06 First line's the proof.] [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/07/06 And the comic.]

==Food Controversy==

In October a controversial comic was posted in which Baldy spoke out against a new brand of snack for gamers. The comic can be viewed here: http://penny-arcade.com/images/2008/20081003.jpg

This was widely disregarded since its obvious from photographic evidence that he will eat anything.

==Raped by dickwolves!==

[[Image:Penny Arcade rape comic.jpg|thumb|left|The horror!]]
[[Image:Gaberapeculture.png|thumb|left|Rape is fucking hilarious!]]
On August 11, 2010 Penny Arcade made a strip in which an imaginary person was [[raped]] [[IRL|imaginarily]] by a [[otherkin|mythological creature]] whose every limb was an erect [[phallus]]. While the punchline of the comic was not actually rape, [[Shit Nobody Cares About|but rather that MMORPG player are self-serving dicks that does not care about the horrible plight of NPC characters]], it still caused a mild shitstorm, as a bunch of [[feminist]] bloggers, spearheaded by [http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/ this whale], jumped on the opportunity to cry foul, and accused Bald and Piggy of spreading "[[rape culture]]". The whole thing later escalated when a followup comic was released and Gabe compared rape victims to fruit. See: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2010/08/survivors-are-so-sensitive.html

Soon after they didn't pay much attention to the issue and even created merchandise off it. This sparked an all out drama bomb of destruction across the internet. In the given light of the scenario the creators of PA looked even worse every time they tried to joke more on the resulting situation. Eventually they caved in and took the merchandise down. Fans were still pissed at them despite the take down and more drama ensued. The drama that has ensued from this entire event has even forced companies and speakers to back out of PAX East 2011. Mike didn't seem to give a shit since they were still getting paid and proudly proclaim that he would wear his shitty shirt during the convention.

While this was possibly the [[lulz]]ist Penny Arcade have been since the [[Jack Thompson]] incident, they would go on to prove that they were indeed still [[unfunny]] [[faggot]]s, as [[troll's remorse]] started kicking in when they received death threats against themselves and their families. Since then, both Tycho and Gabe have tried hard to hush the whole thing down, and pretend that it never happened.

[http://debacle.tumblr.com/post/3041940865/the-pratfall-of-penny-arcade-a-timeline A time line documenting the entire issue.]

==Gallery==

{{cg|Penny Arcade|pennyarcade1gallery|center|<gallery>
File:Ninjas- save them.jpg|At least they know [[ninjas]]!
Image:Cast.jpg|Originality abounds.
Image:GayPA.png| Straightest comic evar
Image:Penny Arcade Brokeback.jpg|Love at long last.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Penny arcade bald.jpg|Shitty bald shop
Image:WHY AM I SO BALD PART 2.jpg|Another shitty bald shop
Image:WHY AM I SO BALD PART 3.jpg|A third shitty bald shop
Image:Why i am so bald also cocks.JPG|A fourth shitty bald shop
Image:PABald.jpg|The typical ''Penny Arcade'' special.
Image:Closet_Penis_Penny_arcade.JPG
Image:Atleasthecantakeajoke.JPG|At least he can take a joke.
Image:Pennyarcadenobodygetsit.jpg|Another ''Penny Arcade'' nobody UNDERSTANDS but the creators themselves.
Image:PennyArcadeTypical.png
Image:Pennyarcadeissonotgay.jpg|''Penny Arcade'' is so [[not gay]].
Image:PAX-badge-back.png| Sneak into PAX
</gallery>}}

==See also==
*[[Unfunny]]
*[[Webcomic]]
*[[Comic]]
*''[[CTRL ALT Delete]]''
*''[[Megatokyo]]''
*''[[God Mode]]''
*[[TV Tropes]] - Loves to shill this comic for some reason.

==External links==
*''[http://www.penny-arcade.com/ Penny Arcade]''
*[http://www.lyris-lite.net/fake/tuppencearcade/index.html ''Tuppence Arcade'' pisstake]
*[http://www.somethingawful.com/hosted/jeffk/bettarthanpennyarcaded/index-02.htm A bettar pisstake by Jeff K]
*[http://stationblog.wordpress.com/2007/02/16/to-penny-arcade/ John Smedley and Penny Arcade with ping pong balls. Really.]

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ContraPoints

2026-06-12T01:12:06Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

{{warning|PSEUDOINTELLECTUALISM AHEAD}}
'''ContraPoints''' formerly "Nykytyne", "Nykytyne2" ([[Powerword]]: William Nicholas Parrot) is an ugly faggot that makes political YouTube videos in an ear-raping falsetto. He divides his time evenly between making millions of dollars off Patreon while promoting Marxism and having mental breakdowns on Twitter over "TERFs". Once involved in the YouTube Atheism community, he decided to reinvent himself as a tranny since his shitty, fallacy ridden videos aren't worthy of attention on their own. He markets himself as a "more intelligent" SJW YouTuber in order to get glowing praise from VICE who is always eager to feature a new freakshow. Noteworthy is his status as a the leader of an insane online cult of personality mostly composed of other deranged trannies who will mass thumb down any content critical of him.

==Fortunate Son==
One of the best known "memes" in modern American politics is that of the champagne socialist: a person born into money and influential circles who gets the idea that they are the voice of the working class and bitches about capitalism. Thankfully for the left, Nyk's background was actually...HAHA, who the fuck are we kidding? He's the son of a psychology professor at an elite East coast university and grew up in a house worth a million dollars. Needless to say, he got into the university. One wonders what his father thinks of his son posting on Twitter incessantly about all the strange dicks he's received from Tinder.
===Bipolar, Drug Addict, Alcoholic===
Nick reveals in the {{youtube|GjSPUlFHYDU|Psychiatry video }}that he has been taking strong psych drugs since age 8. Since, he's been diagnosed with numerous mental illnesses and self medicated with a wide variety of prescription drugs, illegal drugs, and of course alcohol. He went off his meds 2 years ago, which is approximately the same time he came out as transgender. It's very clear that this is an individual whose gender crisis is the result of being mentally ill and not refusing treatment. This doesn't stop outlets like VICE from proclaiming him as the left's rising star.
==Exhibitionist, Lunatic, Fake Tranny==
Compounding the issue is the fact that Cuntra only started trooning it up because he's a mentally ill sexual deviant. By his own admission in his video about it, he has autogynephilia. A mental disorder where a person is sexually attracted to himself as the opposite sex, or turned on by the idea of being the opposite sex. But since any therapist worth his salt could tell that Nyk is just a really dedicated pervert who just needs to learn to keep it in his pants (which is the polar opposite of what he's trying to do), the only way for him to satisfy his disgusting craving was to buy HRT drugs on the black market, then threaten to kill himself to force a doctor to prescribe him with more, fly out to Thailand to have an infamously seedy doctor cut his dick off, and then use his newfound YouTube success and deformed body to become the online equivalent of a playground flasher.

Since then, Nyk has been using his videos to repeatedly flash his non-consenting audience with his disgusting, malformed body, so he can later get off to the thought of it.
==Time as Nykytyne==
The YouTube Atheist community in the 2000s-early 2010s was an early breeding ground for pseudo-intellectuals like Nick and proto-SJWs. Nick actually originally started out making New Age shit but jumped to the Atheist bandwagon after he realized that was where the views were. Sound familiar? This is where Nick first got some amount of notability. He ended up getting banned from the Nykytyne2 account for harassing a feminist and sending pornographic material. The feminist he sent it to was an actual female, unlike him. He scrubbed the entire channel when he went to adopt the ContraPoints persona. Below are some mirrors.
==Blaire White Debate & Gamerghazi Drama==
Nick debated Blaire White in a livestream back in 2017. Blaire promptly made short work of the awkward, ugly man in a purple wig. The encounter instilled intractable bitterness and hatred of Blaire in him. He vented this bitterness by following up the debate where Blair told him trannies like him give other trannies a bad name by always playing the victim, by making a video where he plays an obvious parody of Blaire implying it is inconceivable that Blaire isn't a giant bitch like him, and must surely cry about oppression in private.

However, that was not the end of Nick's problems. He debated Blaire again in an IRL forum in late 2017. When his fellow SJWs found out about it, they lost their fucking minds. After spending so much time trying to appear progressive, Nick was now cast out by his own fans for giving a platform to Nazis. TL;DR, he no longer associates with GamerGhazi because once they nearly drove him to suicide and avoids publicly interacting with Shoe0nHead, dodging her attempts to make him her pet tranny in fear that they'll do it again.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/GamerGhazi/comments/7fu088/contrapoints_to_debate_blaire_white_and_theryn/GamerGhazi freakout thread]
[https://twitter.com/ContraPoints/status/936082727346036736 Where Nick starts his breakdown]
==Other Stupidity==
Contra tweeted about an intersex male runner being forced to take testosterone suppressants to compete, and this being proof of some sort of point about how gender isn't real and not letting trannies compete in female sports is stupid and arbitrary. He conveniently omitted that this chick had high testosterone because she had an intersex condition, meaning she's almost as much of a man as Contra. D'oh! It turns out Nyk also posted a tweet critical of Caster competing to complain about how anyone who isn't retarded enough to fall for Nyk's bullshit must be white. Unfortunately for him, it took 3 seconds of googling to prove Nyk cropped out the guy's avatar because he was a nigger from Kenya. Doh! Doh!
==The Cult==
His tranny army thought it would be a good idea to spam /pol/ with threads claiming to be a "de-radicalized alt-right member" and how Nick's videos helped them. It didn't go as planned and most thread replies consisted of telling OP to fuck off. The spamming, still ongoing as of this writing, resulted in hundreds of threads about Nick. Clicking on the catalog will show at least a handful of pictures of the Buffalo Bill lookalike. There's a good chance you're here because you saw one on the chans.
==See Also==
*[[Transtrender]]
==External Links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Nykytyne2 Earlier channel]
*[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/contrapoints-william-nicholas-parrott-natalie-wynn-parrott-nykytyne2.34349 Kiwifarms thread]
*[http://www.reddit.com/r/ContraPoints Come and see the insanity for yourself]

{{sj}}
{{Lezz}}

Michael Jackson

2026-06-11T15:38:50Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Dead link repair

{{spoiler|[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32542682/ns/entertainment-music/ MICHAEL JACKSON WAS MURDERED]}}
{{spoiler|THE BIOPIC WORKED AND NOW ZOOMERS THINK HE DIDN'T FUCK KIDS}}
{{cleanup}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Hanson exploitable fixed.png|50px]] </div>
{{Epstein}}
[[Image:Thehorror.jpg|thumb|right|[[Perfection Girl|YOU ARE FAPPING TO A DEAD GUY, ENJOY!]]]]
[[Image:Pedojackson.jpg|thumb|[[Star Wars|The student must now become the master...]]]]
[[Image:diana napolis.jpg|thumb|right|Computer generated approximation of what [[Michael Jackson]] would look like at 50 had he stayed black.]]

{{quote|<big>'''>:/'''</big>|[[Joseph Fritzl]]}}
'''Michael Joseph Jackson'''{{Boylover}}, or '''Wacko Jacko''' was a 50-year-old (if not dead, would've been a {{age|1958|08|29}}-year old) Albino [[manchild]] and alleged pedofag from the northwestern part of [[Indiana]] that is literally almost near [[Chicago]] who found fame and fortune as a homosexual pederast and so became a poster boy for [[NAMBLA]]. He could also sing and dance like an organ grinder's monkey. Born as a small black boy into a large family of singing and dancing chimps, he eventually struck out on his own to [[Carlton|turn into a white]] [[tranny]] version of Diana Ross, travel around the world [[shotacon|luring young boys]], monkeys and [[Birdman|Elephant Men]] to slumber parties at his very own castle, Neverland, and to prove once and for all that when [[buttsecks|the big hand touches the little hand]], it's time to get the fuck right outta there!

On June 25th, 2009 Wacko Jacko was [[buttsecks|playing doctor]] with his personal aesthetician after a hard day rehearsing for an upcoming tour and after nagging the shit out of the poor IRL doctor about not being able to sleep, keeled over from an overdose of the hospital-grade elephant tranquilliser Diprivan (or "[[drugs|milk]]" to Jacko). Yes, that's right, [[great justice]] finally had its day as Jackson was put down by the [[death|Grim Ræper]] for being the [[pedobear|damn dirty ape]] he is via lethal injection. Jackson's highly polished exo-skeleton will be stuffed with robotics and placed on display at Disney's Hall of Presidents.

Long rumoured to be the leading cause of ejaculations in [[underage ban]]s, it wasn't until 2003 that the long arm of the law touched Jacko inappropriately when one of his many victims' mothers revealed lurid description of Jacko's [[cock|wedding tackle]] after he ran out of [[bribery|hush money]]. Despite being legally a [[white]] woman, '''Captain EO''' played [[The Race Card|the race card]] like [[OJ]] in his/her 2003 pedophilia trial.

Amongst the train wreckage of a life full of batshit crazy behaviour, he leaves a legacy that includes being the author of [[W]]'s controversial '''No Child's Behind Left''' plan and saving humanity from the [[Beatles]] voluminous catalogue of songs (after outbidding [[Paul McCartney]] for the [[Jew gold|publishing rights]]) by preventing iTunes from offering said drek to the public.

Always a controversial figure, he will nonetheless be fondly remembered for the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" on live TV at [[Football|Super Bowl XXXVIII]] on February 1, 2004 in which he exposed his penis to Justin Timberlake during the half-time show

He is survived by [[wikipedia:Bubbles_(chimpanzee)|Bubbles the chimp]], the Elephant Man's remains, several children called [[true|Blanket]], a [[cumdumpster|surrogate babymamma]], Macauley Culkin, Stephen Spielberg, [http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-michael-jackson31-2009may31,0,1441957.story a mountain of debt], and the joke:

'''Q:''' What do Michael Jackson and KMart have in common?
'''A.''' Little boys' pants half off!

He will be missed by children everywhere for so many will never know the sweet caress of Michael Jackson's gloved hand.

[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Head_On_Fire.gif|right|thumb|200px|Proof that thinking about child rape too long will make your Soul-Glo ignite.]]
[[Image:Mj advice.jpg|thumb|[[Advice dog|Advice]] from Jacko]]
[[Image:MJBubbles2.gif|thumb|right|500px|Jacko's morning routine]]
[[Image:Michael fritzl.jpg|thumb|[[Josef Fritzl]] is Bad Michael Jackson.]]
[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|right|Celebrities are more important than [[You|You]].]]
[[Image:MJ_I_Rape.jpg|thumb|right|Jackson stars in his own feature length documentary movie ''I Rape''.]]
[[Image:Creepyposter.jpg|thumb|This [[demotivator]] courtesy of Neverland Ranch.]]
[[Image:Goodshow.jpg|thumb|right|MJ's death pleases the [[Juliana Wetmore|Elephant Man]].]]
[[Image:Bubbles_gun.jpg|thumb|Bubbles' gangsta rap album]]
[[Image:Blowing_bubbles.jpg|thumb|It is a well known fact that chimps are a gateway drug to [[13-year-old boys]].]]
[[Image:Wackajackson.jpg|thumb|Wacka wacka wacka jackson]]
[[Image:Pedo bear-jackson.jpg|thumb]]

==Life At Home==

MJ originally constructed for himself the perfect [[tool]] for drawing in his preferred cuisine: an amusement park where children "never grow up" and "[[DO NOT WANT|don't want]] to go to school". It was his primary romp for years until people realized that a grown man running a theme park for children all by himself was a little [[creepy]]. Jacko closed his own pool after his rape trial, moving back to [[Whore]]lywood with the intent to rebuild his fondle-factory in Berlin. Just thinking about plump little [[Prussian Blue|blue-eyed blond-haired Nazi children]] made Jacko drool so much his lips fell off: it was that or too much plastic surgery and amazing [[gay|buttsecks]] with Macaulay Culkin whom he had [[molested|fiddled]] the hell out of for many years after his copy of "Home Alone" on VHS(a.k.a. Exhibit C) became recognizable only as the worlds most valuable container of Jacko [[spooge|spunk]].

He lived with his a myriad of prepubescent servants and his [http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/10/09/2007-10-09_michael_jackson_nanny_fighting_lupus_alo.html Nanny with lupus]. [[Poland#Tourism|He has also expressed his wish to move to Poland]] and live in a castle purchased there, although he may have been unaware that the country's demographics were not ideal, having fewer young boys than girls.

=="Thriller" or "I'm a [[pedobear|pedophile]], put me in jail"==
[[Image:Wackojacko.jpg|thumb|200px|right|This is a picture from his music video, "Thriller". Also known as one of the last times he needed makeup to look like a zombie.]]
Years before Jackson was first accused of liking kids too much, he recorded a [[WIN|HIT]] album where all his plans and intentions where clearly stated. The album was released by [[EPIC|Epic records]] (for real) but before they released the album they decided to change some of the title songs, so as to make Jackson's intentions less obvious. '''Bolded''' are the words that were deleted:
# "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' '''(With That Young Boy)'''" – 6:02
# "Baby '''(Boy)''' Be Mine" – [[Weed|4:20]]
# "The '''([[Underage]])''' Girl Is Mine" – 3:42
# "'''(Chasing After [[Loli]] [[Ass]] Sure Is a) '''Thriller" – 5:57
# "'''(I'll Show You How To)''' [[Masturbation|Beat It]]" – 4:17
# "Billie Jean: '''(An 8 Year Old Can't Be Pregnant)'''" – 4:57
# "Human Nature: '''(I'm Just God's Messenger)'''" – 4:05
# "P.Y.T. (Pretty <s>Young</s> '''Underage''' Thing) " – 3:58
# "The '''([[Loli]])''' in My Life" – 4:12

==The Elephant Man==

Jackson was also an [[Trolling IRL|IRL Troll]] and had created many "false" stories about himself, apparently to see if he could "control" the media, a plan that would unfortunately backfire on him, [[LOL WUT|such as sleeping in an oxygen chamber to prolong his life, and buying a sex toy]]. Another notable event occurred in the [[1980|Mid-1980]]'s where Michael Jackson tried to purchase the skeleton of Joseph Merrick, aka the Elephant Man. He ultimately failed to obtain the skeleton. When asked the reason for his fagging, Michael Jackson stated that "it was mostly for the [[lulz]]". [[Some argue|People suspect]] however, that it was in fact not for the lulz but for [[necrophilia|other recreational activities]].

==Movie Career==

In addition to starring in '''Moonwalker''' and hundreds of music videos, at the time of his death, Michael Jackson was in pre-production on a prequel to Hustler's popular '''Barely Legal''' series.

===Moonwalker===

A series of films, including a bunch of shotas reenacting "Bad", but the only notable part of this film is the half hour long "Smooth Criminal" video, where Michael Jackson fights Joe Pesci from Home Alone, an evil supervillian who wants to '''get kids hooked on drugs''', but even worse, '''end prayer in schools.''' Naturally MJ takes offense to this, dances around, turns into a car, dances some more, '''shoots a guy while dancing with hookers''', then rescues the kiddies. But then he disappears into the night sky. Just like E.T. The kiddies cry on a street corner.

But then MJ comes back. Just like he did in real life.

===Ghosts===

Half an hour of Michael Jackson wearing extensive makeup to look like a fat white dude who accuses Michael Jackson of being a freak who corrupts children. To which Michael Jackson dances around with ghouls. Wow. That'll convince any skeptic of your sanity.

==Bubbles==
{{quote|Now that he's dead, who's gonna blow Bubbles?|[[Anon]]}}

{{tinyquote|Bubbles is more fun than a lot of people I know. I saw Bubbles at a wedding in a tux. He has great table manners.|Quincy Jones|[[truth|defending chimpmongling]]}}

After failing to secure a [[negro|bag of bones to stick his dick into]], Jacko purchased a chimpanzee called Bubbles to stick his dick into. As is well known, chimps love nothing better than to sit around masturbating between displays of fæces hurling and Jacko thought that slipping his own dick (which was not yet white and hairless) in would be a cinch. At first it was, so Bubbles became an entourage of one, Jacko's confidante and [[BFF]], accompanying him to [[torture|recording sessions]] and music videos shoots. On the road they shared a hotel bed and Jacko's wardrobe.

Life at home was sweet for both primates, with Bubbles and Jacko sharing a bedroom at [[Gaia|Neverland]]. Bubbles was fully toilet trained and allowed to use Jacko's private crapper but was often seen sitting in a crib wearing a diaper to satisfy Jacko's [[infantilism|diaper fetish]].
Historically,bedtime at Neverland Ranch was always when the big hand touched the little hand.

Sadly, in 2003, Bubbles was kicked to the curb after his [[shota|little hand]] grew too big for the [[pedo|big hand]] -anyone watching Law & Order: SVU know that this is classic pedo behavior. Also, with the arrival of Jacko's first [[IRL]] child, Prince Michael 1, Bubbles had outlived his usefulness.

Jacko justified the breakup and dumping Bubbles on the chimp's overly aggressive love making style where Bubbles had reversed his traditional position as the '[[masochist|bottom]]' in sexual relations to being the '[[sadist|top]]'. [[TL;DR]], Bubbles was now [[buttsecks|assraping]] Jacko as opposed to Jacko assraping Bubbles.

Jacko blamed [[Prince]] [http://prince.org/msg/7/38797 claiming that] he had used [[ESP]] to turn Bubbles batshit insane saying:

{{tinyquote|"[[Jacko|What kind of sicko would mess with a monkey?]] This is the final straw. Poor, poor Bubbles."|Jacko}}

Today, Bubbles has lived at many places since his failed attempt to assassinate Prince Michael and failed attempt to [[an hero]]. He lives in an animal sanctuary where he has a new best friend, [[Assrape|Sam: A 40 Year Old Chimpanzee nicknamed Bubba. Now Bubbles will have many nights of tender tender love making, just like the old days]].

In a special by Animal Planet, sister La Toya Jackson came to visit the chimp and exchanged tearful words. Yes, she is actually talking to a monkey...

<center>
'''To a monkey'''
<youtube>e4ZRkS5GWj8</youtube>
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==Early Life==

Jackson's early life was full of [[child abuse|moonbeams and happy times]]. Father, Joe Jackson, would give all Jackson children encouragement to pursue their [[pedophile|dreams]] and [[jailbait|desires]] by having hurtful buttsecks that left a deep impression on young Michael. Michael's bizarre unrelenting hatred of Steven Spielberg, going into fits of rage whenever Steven would win an Oscar, which was often, can only be explained by the fact that he was Steven's bitchboi before being passed along as a used cumbucket among the Hollywood elite.

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<youtube>27w9cYOOiWc</youtube>

The Jackson family during the early days.
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==Pedo Trials: Part 1 of 2==
[[Image:HomeAloneMJ.jpg|thumb|In his prime.]]
[[Image:Alien-vs-predator-michael-jackson.jpg|thumb]]
In 1993, Jacko was tried for being a [[pedo]] after a [[13-year-old boy]] called '''[[An_Hero|Jordan]] [[Chris-chan|Chandler]]''' accused him of putting the big hand on the little penis, kissing him, face-fucking him and [[fapping]] in front of him, with a detailed description of Jacko's junk. His info was so precise, he even pinpointed where the vitiligo splotches were, the length of the performer's pubes and that he was a Jew, while he was in Monaco to be given 8 more awards at the World Music Awards. Throughout the show Jacko was sitting next to the Prince of Monaco with Jordan on his lap, bouncing him on his knee whilst whispering "Rubba" into his ear. No one thought that Jacko was a sick fuck.

Jacko, being too much of a pussy to have a trial, settled the case by giving the accuser's family over 20 million dollars. [[Some argue|Some say]] that this was proof of him being guilty. Others say that he couldn't be tried because of his health (spoiler alert: he was a drug addict). Now, had this been the extent of Jacko's allegations people would have left him alone, but the damn bastard couldn't stop himself from fucking...

==Pedo Trials: Part 2 out of 2==
{{quote|Another kid? That's like another dead white woman showing up at O.J.'s house, and O.J. going 'I know what you're thinking...'|Chris Rock}}
After making a jackass of himself in a documentary, Jacko gets accused of more molestation in 2003. This was the final blow to his career. The accuser was a former cancer patient who had his [[Pwnt|spine removed]] at a young age and his final words were to Michael Jackson. His wish came true and he was told to be ready to die in a few weeks, but after he met Michael, he was saved. [[Truth|Michael Jackson sucking your cock cures cancer]].

A trial finally ensued and it ended with Jacko being found innocent, before being [[BTFO]] to Bahrain.

[[Some argue|It has been scientifically estimated]] that the next molestation by Jacko would have occured in 2013, should he have been alive by then.

[[Image:Jesusjuice.jpg|thumb|Vintage Jacko lubrication]]
[[Image:Spotted-dick.jpg|thumb|MJ's junk in a can]]
[[Image:Michael_jackson.jpg|thumb]]
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===Quotable===

{{quote|I believe this charity single could still generate lots of money to help those in need. Why shouldn’t it come out? Because of something I did in the past? This is an industry in which rock stars date porno queens. Adult film doesn’t have the same stigma it used to. So, really, what’s their excuse?!|F. Marc Schaffel is coming to his own defense on word that Michael Jackson’s [[911]] charity single "What More Can I Give" isn’t being released because of his porno directing past.}}

==Jacko's Kids==
Michael Jackson's kids (the ones he ''had'' as opposed those which he "had"), who are all completely white, are (obviously) [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/michael-jackson/5706071/Michael-Jackson-not-biological-father-of-his-children.html not his biological children]. In fact, the biological father is widely known to be Mark Lester, the blond-haired former child actor who played Oliver in a [[gay]] musical movie.

Looking at Lester's childhood photo, which seems to fit the image of Jackson's ideal sex partner, one need not wonder how Jacko's children were being used.

Moreover, it appears that not only did Jacko not sire even one of his children, he never formally adopted them either. This case alone is grounds to have him posthumously prosecuted for kidnapping. [http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/07/01/michael-jacksons-will-filed-in-court-neverland-memorial-unlikely/ In his will], he left custody of the kids to [[Sheneequa|Diana Ross]].

{{quote|Daddy's Clowning!|One of the kids, further proving that he loves using kids.}}

{{cg|Gallery|gallery1|center|<gallery>
Image:Mark_lester-current.jpg|Mark Lester, the kids' godfather, is the biological father.
Image:Mark_lester-1968.jpg|Mark Lester in 1968 as the title character in the fagtastic musical Oliver!
Image:Michael_jackson_south_park.jpg|Jacko and his kids.
Image:mj.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #1 aka Macaulay
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Jackson_kid-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #2
Image:Jackson_kid-2.jpg|[[Jailbait|Michael Jackson's kid #3]]
Image:Sq-michael-baby-balcony-cnn.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #4 aka [[WTF|'''Blanket''']]
Image:Jacko_and_cartman.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #5 aka [[Cartman]]
Image:Michaelomer.jpg|Papa Joe's thoughts on Michael Jackson's kid #6
</gallery>}}

==The Mask of Pedo==
On December 13th, 2008, Michael Jackson reappeared in the spotlight using an [[nice try|old trick]] from Elizabeth Taylor/Liza Minnelli to gain sympathy from his fans by faking a mental illness. This time it took the form of what could be best described as dressing up like a Bollywood version of Zorro.

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Image:mj_zorro_child_hunt.jpg
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=='''This Is [[shit|It]]!''': The Comeback==
[[Image:Jacko_hulk.jpg|thumb|Jacko trains with the [[Hulk]] for his one city 'tour'.]]
{{quote|When I say this is it, it really means this is it.|Jacko, exposing himself in front of millions of horny fans|March 2009}}

In March 2009, Jacko announced that he would be playing live again for the first time in 12 years with a 50 day residence at [[Londonistan]]'s '''O2''' arena starting in July. Strapped for attention, he planned to revive his rotting career and make hueg amounts of [[Jew Gold]] to pay off his mountain of debt. He also needed fresh, young meat to feed his ravenous appetite for [[shota]]; his kids had grown so old they now revolted him so much he'd stopped getting protein from them and was so incredibly [[pro-ana|frail and underweight]] that nobody really noticed, since he always looked like that.

With a cash advance from the '''O2''' and a firm of [[jews|venture capitalists]] called '''AEG''' he set about trying to get into shape for the gruelling '''tour'''. He rented out [[LA]]'s Staples Center for full dress-rehearsals and hired [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2481286/Michael-Jackson-is-being-trained-by-Lou-Ferrigno.html the Incredible Hulk] to whip him into shape. The rehearsals were filmed and have been fashioned into a sloppy motion picture. Jacko's attention-seeking family claimed that a body double was used, but nobody gave a shit. As nobody gave a shit about the movie to begin with.

{{ytplus|Jackson Rehearsing For Surprise Comeback Performance 7/7/09|<center><youtube>mdVTbU9q0Lc</youtube></center>|Do it now before they grow up and it's too late!|[http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/ggallin/exposeyourselftokids.html Lyrics from the video rehearsal]}}
===THIS IS WIN===
It is now reported that Sony and AEG, in an attempt to cash in on Jacko's postmortem sales jump and salvage what they invested in Jacko for this tour, are going to, through the magic of editing, cobble together 80 hours of footage shot during the rehearsals of the tour to make an entirely incoherent film about Jacko's final days. The price tag of the film is reported to be at least $50 million.

==Death==

[[Image:Mjinvincible.jpg|thumb|Jacko's last studio album: [[irony|''Invincible'']]]]
[[Image:Goodnight_jacko.jpg|thumb|October 2007: /[[b]]/ called it. [[Goodnight sweet prince|Goodnight Shotacat]].]]
[[Image:HHHHHHHNNNGGGGGMJ2.JPG|thumb|right|An ironic twist to an [[HNG|old meme.]]]]
[[Image:Coincidentally.jpg|thumb|right|Anal cancer claims two more lives.]]
[[Image:DEADjacko.jpg|thumb|The cover of [[Pedophile|Jacko's]] re-release of the album ''BAD''.]]
[[Image:Michaels heart.jpg|thumb|Mj's temple of doom]]
[[Image:Chartattack.jpg|thumb|right|[[O RLY?]]]]
[[Image:MichealjacksonJackieChan.jpg|thumb|DO NOT WANT gook!!]]
[[Image:Jjj.jpg|thumb|right|OH SHIT HES BACK!]]
On Thursday, June 25th, 2009, Michael Jackson died in the act of lovemaking, having a [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]]. This is considered one of the best ways to go, preferable to rotting in an old folks home or dying of cancer. The young boy who Jackson was making love to at the time called paramedics; his name was not released. Most news agencies omitted this fact, leaving a mystery of who called paramedics when Michael Jackson was unconscious at the time. Regardless, Jacko was clearly [[I'm on my bee|not on his bee]].

The compassionate, humanitarian brain-trust /[[b]]/ was quick to exploit it with endless threads featuring the [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]] meme and Michael Jackson photoshops. His dying wish was to donate his [[cock|organ]] to a sick child (so that his [[Penis|organ]] would forever be inside a child).

[http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-dies-death-dead-cardiac-arrest TMZ] reported the initial diagnosis was that Jacko died from [[HNG|cardiac arrest]] caused by a massive cocktail of drugs including Dilaudid, Vicodin, Soma, Xanax, Zoloft, Paxil for anxiety and heartburn pill Prilosec administered by a nigger doctor. The Los Angeles coroner's office has deferred Jacko's inquest awaiting toxicology tests and to provide ample time for the media shitstorm to rage on for a week or two. Shortly thereafter, [[Jesse Jackson]] appeared on [[CNN]] calling for a full and thorough investigation of the facts and Jacko's live-in doctor (who, it was reported, had gone on the lam) suggesting that this was <big>MURDER!</big> He then called for [[OJ]] to be released from jail since he's an expert in tracking down the [[CIA|real killers]].

While it has since been confirmed that he had a heart attack in the ER, initial reports were of a stroke in the Pediatrics wing.

Meanwhile [[CNN]] reported Vanillaface moonwalked off this mortal coil. [[Fark]] reported that he had just begun work on ''Thriller 2: Electric Boogaloo!'' Though his heart is no longer beating, Disney has inspected the body and declared that the high quality plastic exterior makes him a great candidate for animatronics. The same news report told how he was planning to rekindle his popularity, but the only thing he accomplished was becoming the first [[wigger|white black person]] to die of something besides gunfire.

Because Jacko is dead, it is impossible to determine exactly how uncountably many children he sodomized at the Neverland Ranch, as well as everywhere else.

On 28 August, 2009 a Los Angeles Coroner ruled the death of Michael Jackson a [[AIDS|homo]]cide[http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/28/jackson.autopsy/index.html].
[[Image:Pedo mourn 2.png|thumb|right| [[lie|Pedobear mourns the loss.]]]]
[[Image:Pedo bearsmall.png|thumb|right| Good night. ]]

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===Reaction===
<center>
{{morphquote|mqtest1|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;;
|Keep your tickets. This is all a setup for the best performance of Thriller ever.|[[Perez Hilton]]

|Is he even biodegradable???|A bewildered [[hippy|environmentalist]]

|Michael Jackson didn't die of a heart attack, he got food poisoning from eating nine year old nuts.|MJ's coroner

|For the first time ever, we will meet our quota on carbon-emissions for the Kyoto Protocol, thanks to his brave sacrifice.|Barack Obama

|You can't throw him away or cremate him as that would contribute to global warming.The best thing to do is recycle his body for the future use of Joan Rivers.|Fox News

|Run, cherubs, run!|God

|Thursday June 25th 2009: Dear Diary, today I got a new roommate...|[[Heath Ledger]]

|WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!|[[Alex Jones|Micheal Jackson death denier]]

|He just went for Baby Jesus|Grief-stricken /[[b]]/tard

|I think [[Chimpmongler]] is a [[pretty cool guy]]. eh diddles shota and doesn't afraid of [[Chris Hansen]]|[[anon]]

|Basketball will never be the same again |/b/tard

|Why must I cry?!?!|rehdogg

|This article is bad and ED should feel bad.|[[User:faggot|StarCadet]]

|Michael you left such a legacy on this earth, have touched SO MANY!!!|Kelly Rowland
|}}
</center>

The Jews being the two-faced, money grubbing scum that they are, suddenly had newfound respect for Jacko. It turns out after [[Lulz|making many cruel jokes at his expense, stealing as much of his money as they could, and publicly humiliating him]], [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|they decided to just sweep all the nasty things they said under a rug and act like it never happened]]. As overwrought outpourings of unconditional love for the Gloved One rained down upon the masses from all and sundry, [[b|/b/]] remained the sole voice of reason in the tragedy, celebrating this living embodiment of [[Shotacat]]'s life and death, creating [[meme]]s in their indomitable style. Meanwhile, faggotry reigned the day on the likes of [[Shitter]], [[YouTube]], [[Facebook]] and blog after blog after blog.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten how [[shocked & appalled]] they were back when Jacko was on trial for molesting [[shota]]. People posted tributes and childhood memories, songs and vidyas of how important '''The King of Pop''' had been in their lives and how he'd provided the soundtrack to the indiscretions of youth; that first mugging (Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'), that first [[fap]] (Beat It), that first child molestation (Pretty Young Thing).

It's almost as if they could maybe one day overlook the [[Holocaust]] and give another [[Hitler|tortured artist with issues]] the props he surely deserved for being an inspiring leader, brilliant economist, terrific orator, a non-smoking [[dogmongler|animal lover]] with a keen eye for graphic design and style who also got the trains to run on time.

MJ cockmonglers have responded by locking themselves in cupboards, self-mutilation, Jacko tattoos, and [[Baww|BAWWWWWing]] about how the world is a cruel and violent place, subsequently expressing the desire to assault people who don't think or act as they demand. Scientists have concluded that the universe does not revolve around these [[asspies]].

[[Billy Mays]], who was also 50 years old, responded three days later with [[:Image:Billy Mays Last Words.jpg|his own drug-induced heart attack.]] Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in another for free.

You can [[Rape|help]] out the tremulous Jacko pirates by sacking their tree house of precious, underaged booty:

<center>
<youtube>8_XWbQZgbPs</youtube>

'''[[Psychopath|Some people]] were glad he died'''
</center>

The phrase "Fuck that nigger Michael Jackson" was said a total of 9 times during the above movie.
[http://www.mjfanclub.net/mjforum373/index.php '''The Well of Untapped Lulz ''']:

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{{morphquote|mqtest5|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;

|I was stuck on register on Friday. The customers ask "so how are you today?" I just wanted to punch every single one.|Jacko fanboy on pacifism

|I am having the worst time at work. These people that I thought of like family are stabbing me in the back. My boss, who I followed from another job,and a co-worker whom I never suspected could be so cruel, basically told me that my grief was irrelevent compaired to what other people go though and that I had no right to be upset because I didn't know him personally. How dare they invalidate how I'm feeling!?|Jacko fanboy on narcissism

|God I've just started crying all over again more than I ever had. I dunno what to do with myself I don't seem to be bothered about anything. Yesterday I had a thought that I wouldn't care if I was to die cos I'd be with Michael. I can't get over this I'm so depressed and confused. Every where I turn there's something Michael related. I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying for the rest of my life but I've read enough books that always give the message that if someone dies you need to try and move on with your life but I can't|Jacko fanboy on being a hedgehog

|I just don't know how I can go on living without the love of my life. Michael was everything to me. I just feel so numb and sick. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. It just feels like I'm stuck in a sick and twisted nightmare that I can't wake from. My whole world has just collapsed. I need someone to talk to.|Jacko fanboy on being ronery

|There was a parade in San Francisco, which I did not go to because I probably would have kick somebody being surrounded by pesudo fans. I'm past the sad grieving phase of my despair its now just anger. I hate how everyone is suddenly a "fan" of his once he dies, now everybody wants all his CDs, how everybody realizes what a musical genius he was. What about those who have been there since DAY ONE? I guess it's better than people being hateful but...UGH....they're all so FAKE. They didn't love him. I can't even stand to listen to them speak his name because they're all unworthy, just because you used to listen to Thriller when you were 4 doesnt make you a fan. Apart from this site I can't listen to anybody talk about him, I couldnt even finishing reading LMP's statement...Not everyone is a fake but...UGH, I dunno....|Jacko fanboy on elitism
|}}
</center>

Ozfags were particularly [[butthurt]] and authorities had to set up a [[self-pwn]] hotline after reports surfaced of [http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25712012-5019114,00.html numerous faggots committing suicide].

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==Trolling==
{{quote| I wish Bill Cosby or some other [[Black Jesus|'beloved' celeb]] would [[Win|die]] so we could get a break from all this Wacko Jacko coverage. Wait...[[No|is Bill Cosby alive?]]|Facebook post - [[Billy Mays|be careful what you wish for]]}}

[[Image:Trolling facebook.png|thumb|[[Godwin's Law|For the (God)win!]]]]
[[Image:Headline.jpg|thumb|right|[[Typical]] British headline.]]
In the meantime, you can help by trolling people on the Internets with mock outrage at all this praise for Jacko and comparing him to Hitler. Go to someone's virtual [[Facebook]] shrine and leave comments to ''their'' comments feigning disgust that someone would sweep Jacko's [[shota|crimes against humanity]] under the rug. Tell them they probably spent his pedo trial damning him to Hell and if not, ask them if they would let their kids sleep over at [[basement|Neverland]] or hang out with [[Josef Fritzl|Uncle Josef]]. Tell them that Hitler was a brilliant motivational speaker and a seriously snappy dresser.

Most people won't take the bait because they know it's true: Jacko was a [[sick fuck]]. But some will puff up their e-chests and rise to his defense: this is when you accuse them of hypocrisy and double standards. Ask why they hate children so much and how come molestation is okay when the perpetrator is a celebrity. If they [[BAW|BAAAAAW]] that you're out of line, admit that yes, you're sorry, comparing Jacko to Hitler is a terrible insult to Hitler.

Another effective trolling technique is to liberally apply mock outrage at both the fact that he is to be memorialized and that the huge tribute is to be paid for by your hard-earned tax dollars. Since the [[Arnold|State of Collyfornia]] is now [[bailout plan|bankrupt and issuing IOUs to pay for most services]] this adds [[flame|fuel to the fire]]. It has been estimated that police overtime needed for security at the memorial in downtown LA will cost $2,000,000 alone and ''[[you]]'' are going to be paying for it.

Comments such as:

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{{morphquote|mqtest6|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;
|I don't get it. Why don't they dig up [[Jeffrey Dahmer]] and throw ''him'' a party. Hell, let's give Saddam Hussein a party; he had [[Basement|rape rooms]] too!|troll
|Yeah. Fritzl too. At least [[Josef Fritzl]] raped his own children.|troll bait
|Hey did Mike fuck your wife or something? You sounding like its personal.|[[butthurt]] Jacko fanboy
|My wife wasn't his type...she was female and older than 12.|[[OP]]
|LA can't even afford to hire any new cops or fire fighters and they're going to pay for a party to honor a pedophile? I for one will not be paying my taxes this year.|troll
|Yes Michael Jackson, make that scream ("AHEE-HEE!") while I rape your asshole and jack you off. Your rectum becomes swollen and starts bleeding you little cumslut. Then I slit your throat, lick your blood, and rape your throat hole while you ejaculate in ecstasy. I ram my fork in your eye and force you to eat it while you weep for mercy. I pour Girugamesh into your eye sockets, and inject you with pure, liquid Gaymen, so that you feel the agony for all eternity. Now that was only the warm up round. Now I begin to insert a mace-like needle, grafted from the claws of Cthulu, that has been laid on the surface of lava from Mount Doom into your urethra. Michael Jackson has gone into Terry Schiavo mode. He has to live out the rest of eternity in agony without the privilege of resisting his maker. Your friends and family can't save you Michael. I've thrown them into the Great Pit of Carkoon; where they shall be slowly digested in the Sarlacc's belly for over a thousand years.|The Bruce Campbell of Trolling Copypasta
|}}
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===[[Trolling IRL]]===
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<youtube>THVbb09pyD4</youtube>
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{{quote|Let's knock out the [[harbl|psychobabble]]. He was a pervert, a child molester, a pedophile. What does giving this much coverage to him say about us as a country? I just think we're too politically correct.|[http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/06/new-york-congressman-blasts-jackson-pervert-low-life/ Rep. Peter King (R) New York]}}

===Trolling YouTube Comments===
<center>'''''See video comments'''''</center>
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{{cg|Le Jaque Waquette|jackowackomocklogallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Jackson dead.jpg
Image:Hurk.JPG
Image:MJ_dying_turn_you_on.jpg
Image:mj_csi.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Mj_king_of_b.jpg|LOL black person can't be kings!
Image:BlackWhiteBlue.jpg
Image:RIP MJ June25th 09.JPG
Image:Goodnight-thread.png|[[B|/b/]] can predict the future...[[goodnight sweet prince]]!
Image:Leave MJ alone.jpg|We need to leave the pedo faggot nigger zombie alone.
Image:Jackson 4 returning.jpg|Did you know the Jackson FOUR are getting back together?
Image:Popicon.jpg|Jacko was a pop icon.
Image:Pedobear mourning.png|[[Pedobear|I'll keep his legacy alive!]]
</gallery>}}

==[[Perez Hilton]], first responder==

As news of Jacko's death reached [[Perez Hilton]], Perez set about what Perez does best: showing that, as gay as he gets, he can always get even gayer. He made a blog post claiming that Jacko was just faking it to get out of contractual obligations. This caused abundant butthurt and threats of violence so Hilton tried to backtrack and apologise for the fag-on-fag violence. This wasn't enough for some misguided, gay anons who called for a raid on Hilton (see: [[Talk:Michael Jackson]]). A fallout from this gay Operation Thriller faggotry is expected and leading expert [[tfo]] will bring you news when it happens.

[[Image:Michaeladvison.jpg|thumb|right|Michael Jackson plays a large role in the ''Half-Life'' series, known as the Michael Advison.]]

[[Image:Jacksonhollowmansequel.jpg|thumb|right|In 2009, Michael Jackson set out to create a new image, this time of a movie star. His breakthrough role was in a low-budget sequel to a popular horror film.]]

[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|ACCESS DENIED LOL =[]]

[[Image:Perez hilton mariofailsitlols.jpg|center|1000px]]

==[[Conspiracy Theories]]==
[[Image:Mj glove.jpg|thumb|right|[[Domestic_violence|Does the King of Pop need to smack a bitch?]]]]

===Pepsi did it===
PepsiCo. tried but failed to defoliate Jacko's [[Don Imus|nappy head]] with napalm [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZnUI8tfKjg during the filming of a Pepsi commercial] in the '[[80s]], so Jacko turned to the painkillers which would eventually be similar to the drugs rumored to cause his death. Additionally, when the contract ended with him, Pepsi's stock market fell for a while, ergo, Pepsi did it.

===Rock Band did it===
''Rock Band Unplugged'' had the song "ABC" by The Jackson 5 on it. Michael Jackson was 11 when the song was released. 11 days after the release of the game, he died.

===[http://www.adl.org/PresRele/ASUS_12/2460_12.asp Jews did it]===
{{quote|Michael Jackson has an anti-Semitic streak and hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. It seems every time he has a problem in his life, he blames it on the Jews.|[[ADL]]}}
[[Image:Michael-jackson-the-muslim-perv.jpg|thumb|Abu Joe trollin Jews]]
[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Holding_Israel_Flag.jpg|thumb|Jacko surrenders to [http://www.yoyenta.com/?p=1035 appease the Jews]]]
To get back at [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/856313/posts Michael Jackson putting a "Voodoo curse" on Supreme Jewish Leader Steven Spielberg], a day before his [[death]], upon entrance into an [[IRC]] channel, a Jew compulsively typed in "ah Michael Jackson, ah what?" Given the fact that this Jew has tha [[OCD]], he has [[DBZ|special powers]], using which he placed a curse on Jacko and [[pwnt|killed]] him.

[[Thatkidparker|Some people]] do believe that Jews did Michael Jackson, and not just because [http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKTRE55P0Q520090626 he owed] them [[jew gold]] or placed a curse. Their reasoning goes as follows:
[[Image:Michael-Jackson-and-Adolf-Hitler.jpeg|thumb|Michael Achtung]]
::1. Jewish monetary perverts drool at the billions accumulated by MJ. They say [[hello|shalom]] and try to invite themselves to dinner, but Jacko says "[[GTFO]]."
::2. In addition, Jews at the [[Mossad]] want to insert [[memes]] into his lyrics so that they can sell more dope to the listeners. MJ says "[[gb2]]hell."
::3. Jews insert bait children into his life. Indeed, some of the children's families were [[BFF]] with their Jewish attorneys.
::4. Jacko smells trouble, and responds with lyrics. Jewish lawyers made him change them. The song is accompanied by creepy music that gives you visions of Jewish shark lawyers trying to [[banhammer]] you for good. The unedited version of one of his lyrics went as follows ([[srsly]]):

::::''Jew really fucked''
::::''Jew thought he really got control of me''
::::''Jew out there,''
::::''Jew really wants to get me''
::::''Kick me''
::::'''''Kike me'''''
::::''Use me''
::::''[[Pedo|Abuse]] me''
::::''Sue me''
::::'''''Jew me'''''
::::''Take control of me''

::5. Jews never find anything funny if it is at their own expense so proceeded to banhammer him. They fail at the banhammer but succeed in putting him out of commission.

A related theory is that the music biz did Jacko for revenge. His last studio album [[irony|''Invincible'']] in 2002 had tanked and Jacko had gotten into a [[butthurt|heated dispute]] with his label Sony and leveraged himself out of his contract after accusing them of failing to spend sufficient [[jew golds]] marketing and promoting him. Of course this had absolutely nothing to do with his refusal to go on tour in support of the record. Jacko and the head of the label went toe-to-toe in the media and Jackson alleged the label head was a [[white|"devil" and a "racist"]] who did not support black artists and used them solely for [[profit]]. He charged that the label chief had called his pal Irv Gotti a "fat nigger."

===[http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2009/06/23/sanford-disappears-to-hike-appalachian-trail-on-naked-hiking-day/ Mark Sanford] did it===
After getting busted for going AWOL from his day job as the Governor of South Carolina, [[Republicunt]] "family values" fanboy [[Mark Sanford]] (described by [[Stephen Colbert]] as "incredibly boring ... a manila envelope glued to a beige wall... a walking, talking [[Sleep sex|Ambien]]") admitted he was off in Buenos Aires having an extramarital affair with a moderately attractive [[Argentinian]] chica and not on a surprise solo hike on the Appalachian Trail (on Naked Hiking Day). Naturally, the old media went batshit crazy and had a field day at the Governor's expense and were set to drag all the skeletons from Sanford's suddenly interesting closet.

However, on the eve of blowing the lid off the secret lovers' steamy emails and such, Michael Jackson suddenly dropped dead. With a shot at being the [[GOP]]'s [[2012]] presidential candidate on the line, things were not looking good for the aging Lothario... until the spotlight shifted. Coincidence? You be the judge.

===[[Iran]] did it===

Following the hotly desputed re-election of [[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]], Iranians [[protest]]ed the results as the vote was the one shred of [[freedom]] they thought they still had. They even went as far as condemning the Supreme Leader which is apparently a big no-no. The American and other Western news media would closely observe this butthurt throughout the following weeks.

Fearing that continual coverage of the protests would weaken the [[Islamic]] leadership, they needed something seriously ''[[Epic]]'' to divert Western attention, which was Jackson's record producer.

===AEG Insurance Scam?===

[http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?p=1654#comments/ TMZ] reports that AEG, who funded the Jacko "This is It" tour, paid for a hefty insurance policy from Loyds of London covering, among all things, drug overdose.

===Farrah Fawcett did it?===

It is no coincidence that Farrah Fawcett and Jacko died on the same day. Reports state that earlier that day, on her deathbed Farrah's last dying wish was for all the children in the world to be safe. So God answered and killed Michael Jackson. The difference between Farrah and Jacko is that one screwed Majors, whereas the other screwed minors.

===Doctor Did It===

It is possible that his doctor Conrad Murray is responsible for drugging Jacko to death as the Coroner has requested all his files, as well as the LAPD, Los Angeles Country Sheriff, and now the DEA and FBI, because this will not be the same without the [[Party Van]]. They all want to know how this doctor got his hands on an IV-administered drug only available at hospitals.

===Illuminati Did Michael Jackson===
The [[Illuminati]] was infuriated when they learnt that Jacko was going to reveal the truth about the Illuminati's conspiracy to take over the world and reduce the world population by 90% in his next concert. They had their eyes on him ever since he created this non-satanic song which has a somewhat empowering effect, which is exactly the opposite of what the Illuminati wants (since everyone in the music industry must submit to [[Satan]] in order to get anywhere).

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===Jews, Jealous of Allah, did Michael Jackson ([[Copypasta]])===

Not surprisingly, this particular theory holds considerable sway in the [[Middle East]]. The synopsis goes as follows: Jacko had converted to Islam in the Middle East and intended to do a final farewell concert, encouraging his fans to do the same. Jews got wind of his intentions, and since he did not pass through any long tunnels where they could [[accident]]ize him like Diana when she got pregnant with an Arab, they had to kill him by injection. Jews unsurprisingly wanted him to continue pushing Diet Pepsi to the Americunts instead of [[Allah]].

{{quote3|
Michael Jackson (MJ) was known as the most loving person in the world. He gave up most of his assets for charity and all his life, he fought for equality of the African Americans, AIDS victims, Against Drug Abuse, Against Abortion, Against Child Labor and secretly channelled his properties for the hungry children of the world. However, he wasn't peace at heart. He always think of himself as a child trapped inside a man's body. Being Peter Pan is all his dream, never to grow up, forever a child. That inspires him to build Neverland - a heaven for children. Children of all ages and races are welcomed to Neverland. MJ had so much love to give.

However, he made a mistake which he didn't know of the consequences. He saw the peaceful life his brother, Jermaine (Muhammad Abdul Aziz) had as a Muslim - true, Jermaine faced so much pressure that he moved to Bahrain.

In 1989, MJ made a press conference which shocked the world, "I have seen the Islam in the life of my brother, I have read the books about Islam. And I'd love to someday feel the calmness and peace of Islam...."

Since that, MJ's life was never the same again.
He was accused of so many accusations against child molestation. MJ was not someone who can deal with much pressure as he is a 'delicate child'. All the extortion and black mail followed after that. Everything he did was being seen as wrong in the eyes of the Media. All these are to influence his fans to hate MJ. If he is hated, then he would not be influencial anymore.

For several years, he stayed in England. Getting motivation from a long time friend, Cat Stevens, who had converted into Islam - named Yusuf Islam. From him, MJ learnt how Yusuf had survived being Muslim. He made friends with a song writer, Zain Bhikha too, who wrote a song titled, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH", which he wanted MJ to sing whenever he is ready.

Following his trial, MJ withdrew to Bahrain, where he was the special guest of sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the son of Bahrain's king. It was then that Michael began to give conversion more "serious thought." MJ stayed in Bahrain for approximately 3 years. He studied Islam, the prayers and learn to read the Quran.

Finally, he came back to Los Angeles and in November 2008 MJ had formally converted to Islam in a ceremony at a close friend's house in Los Angeles. He perform Haj with the King of Bahrain and son on December 2008.

He had a hidden agenda when he wanted to make a final comeback. He annouced in a press conference on March 2009, "This will be my final concert. I'll see you all in July...."

He planned that during his concert, he would announce that this is the FINAL concert as he wouldn't be performing anymore. He will declare that he is a Muslim and will only sing with Yusuf Islam and Friends.
At the end of the concert, he will be singing the song, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH" with Yusuf Islam. That is the reason why he chose London as his final concert venue instead of the USA. It was because he thought he could escape the USA's extortion, and that he could perform with yusuf Islam who is in England.

At 12.30am, 25th June 2009, he hugged his production manager and said, "After reherasing for 2 months, I am finally ready for the concert..." Before leaving to sleep, he waved his dancers, "It was a good night everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow..." The next thing... He was pronouced dead at 2.26am.....

When 911 was called, there are so much questions asked. It is as if they didn't know who MJ is and where he lived. The questions asked are more towards to delay time. The hospital said the autopsy result can only be obtained after 2 months - very illog ical as even the worst African technology could obtain the result in less than 2 weeks.

MJ's family members opt for second private autopsy as they started to feel something fishy is going on. The result came out in about 4 days - MJ was drugged with high dosage of anaesthetic - drug that brings about a reversible loss of consciousness, if used to much could stop the heart from beating.

Another result which was not aired in the media was, MJ's stomach is empty of this drug, but his blood were filled with it - same case as the death of Marilyn Monroe. The private doctors also found many needle marks, afraid to be forced injections given to MJ on his bed.

In CNN Live after a week, Barack Obama was interviewed. And he said, "I love MJ, I grew up listening to his songs.. It is a great loss, but rest assured that there is no conspiracy in his death..."
Now, why must a President made such statement before the official autopsy result came out? How would he know that there is no conspiracy without the post-mortem result? Seems like someone is afraid of his shadows..

MJ was known to the world as a person who is against drug abuse. Why must he be addicted to drug, then? If he wanted to commit suicide, why rehearse for his concert? And why will he want to see his dancers the next day?

Enough about his death. I am sure people around the world is not stupid anymore. These supreme power can fool us during the Marilyn Monroe conspiracy, Martin Luther King and Princess Diana. But in this MJ's case, they left too many loopholes for those who think...!!

MJ's family was about to give him a Muslim burial with the help of The Brotherhood of Islam. But, the CIA showed up at Neverland's door - blackmailed them that if they do so publicly, Katherine (MJ's mother) would be pull off from MJ's 3 children's custody as well as MJ's estates. Instead, they'll hire Debbie Rowe for the purpose, and the court will be in their favour. So much for democracy and fairness....

Finally, they agreed to let MJ have a Muslim Burial in Neverland. But in condition, must show to the public a Christian Memorial Service, as to prove to the world that MJ was never a Muslim.

So, Staples Centre was just a normal show. That's why the coffin was closed and sealed.

MJ was buried days earlier. The Gold Coffin was empty. They were about to bury the Coffin according to Christianity ways in Hollywood - as in their deal with the USA Government.

These happened, because the USA is afraid of the rising numbers of Muslims in the world.

(Sheikh Ha**d)
The Brotherhood of Islam
Buletin of Bahrain

}}

===Castrati===

Michael Jackson's voice never broke. He never broke into falsetto to reach those notes, he could just hit them without effort. All of his brothers are big lantern-jawed men, but he even before all the surgery never looked older than 11. Why?

Because the Jackson 5 was a money machine, and it all depended on Jacko's voice. Joe Jackson is not a nice man, and never was. He did not take Michael to Mexico for an operation to ensure that that voice would remain angelic. He got good and drunk drunk and did the deed himself, with the boot.

This [[fact]] explains pretty much everything, the kids in the bed, the dance stuff where he'd touch himself like a woman. That's why the sexy dance moves in the "Thriller" video are so unconvincing and just wrong. Go watch it: it's obvious that this man has never actually fucked. He never put his dick in any of those kids because he was physically incapable of it. This is not to say that what he did wasn't sexually molesting the kids, just that it was quite a bit creepier than the paedophile rape everyone thinks it was.

In short: Jacko's dad kicked him in the balls, as a child, to cripple him and keep his voice sweet.

==Funeral==

[[Image:Paris-Michael-Katherine_Jackson_Memorial_OscarOscar.jpg|thumb|Paris Jackson, Michael Jackson's only daughter, accepts an Oscar for her stellar performance at the memorial ceremony.]]

[[Image:Jacklelz.jpg|thumb|LOL vandalism is pointless on this page or anywhere else on ED.]]

Jacko had a [[LOL|gala]] [[BAWWWW|public memorial service]] at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Jackson did not appear from the dead and deliver a true-to-life rendition of "Thriller", much to the chagrin of most of the audience. [[Paris_Hilton|Paris-Michael Katherine]] did, however, deliver a "heart-felt" speech at the end about how [[O RLY|great a father Jacko was]], and how they will lose their $1000/week allowances. It is not known who coaxed her into making said statements, as everyone knows Jacko's fatherhood suffered a brutal [[death]] after falling three stories off a balcony.

The hapless losers who invested $400 million for Jacko's comeback tour (who also own the Staples Center) gave out 11,000 free tickets to the public instead of selling them at a high markup. After burning $400 mil on a [[fail|now canceled due to death]] tour, why not just lose more money?

During the faggy memorial service, Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson took the stage, the latter having appeared in the music video ''[[Shit nobody cares about|Remember the Time (I Raped You)]]''. After everyone watching asked themselves why the fuck they are there, Magic Johnson went on to recount a tender moment he shared with Wacko Jacko:

'''LAWDY MICHAEL, IS DAT SUM [[Chikins|CHIKKINZ]]?'''
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During the service various speakers all lauded the strangeness that was Michael Jackson, spouting tall tales such as crediting Wacko Jacko with the election of [[Barack Obama]] as [[President]] (not that there aren't similarities).

It was reported that the Jacko family first opted for [[kill it with fire|cremation]], but it was discovered after years of plastic surgery and various chemical treatments to his skin that his body is now fireproof. NASA has approached Joe Jacko in the hope of getting corpse samples to use in research on new heat shields for space vehicles.

It has been reported that Jacko has finally been buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, instead of doing the right thing and donating his body to [[soyence]].

==Autopsy==
[[image:Jacko_SOPA.jpg|thumb|right|Is it really Piracy that's hurting the industry?]]
Initial autopsy results were inconclusive but reports from the Los Angeles Country Medical Examiner's office do showed that Jackson's body was 35% plastic and other recycled materials. After the rest of Jack's chassis had been released for embalming and burial subsequent autopsy and toxicology tests were done on Jackson's brain. On August 24th, 2009, the final results [http://www.wbaltv.com/entertainment/20535026/detail.html?treets=bal&tml=bal_natlbreak&ts=T&tmi=bal_natlbreak_1_02580108242009 were leaked] revealing the obvious: Jacko had died of a massive drug overdose and although he'd done the world a favour, Jacko's personal physician was accused of [[OJ Simpson|'''MURDER!!!''']]

The doctor, cardiologist Conrad Murray, had been treating Jackson for insomnia for about six weeks with a buttload of the hospital-grade anaesthetic Diprovan every night via the tip of his penis. Murray said he feared Jackson was becoming addicted to the anesthetic, which is supposed to be used only in hospitals and other advanced medical settings, so he had lowered the dose and threw in the sedatives Valium and midazolam.

According to court records Murray said he resisted a tired Jacko's incessant whining for Diprovan (which he referred to as "his milk") fearful that the pop star had developed a dangerous addiction to the drug. Instead, Murray administered the sedatives Valium, lorazepam and midazolam five times over six hours, which didn't work and Jacko continued to demand his "[[cum|milk]]". Jacko stopped breathing about 10 minutes after Dr. Death relented and finally gave in to his patient's demands.

==Michael Jackson Lives==

Don't believe Ondor's lies. We brought him back, we had the technology!
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[[Image:Lolmj.png|thumb|right|The King of Pop at his last performance.]]

==[[Bel-Air]]==

[[Image:Micahel jackson brb.jpg|thumb|right|]]

This is the story all about how 
My pulse got flipped turned upside down, 
Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, 
I'll tell you how I had cardiac arrest in Bel Air. 

In Gary, Indiana born and raised, 
In the plastic surgeon room is where I spent most of my days, 
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxing all cool, 
and sittin' in a van outside of a school 

When a couple of parents said I was up to no good, 
said I was molesting their kids in the neighborhood. 
I got in one little incident, and the police got scared 
and said "You movin' with your Blanket and children in Bel-Air" 

I said I'll do a big concert tour, and when it came near 
I needed a trainer - my body stress load was severe. 
One morning that I woke up and suddenly felt pain, 
I said "Nah forget it, YO HOLMES LET'S TRAIN!" 

The very next day, 'round 11 or 12, 
blood stopped rushing to my heart valve. 
I collapsed on the floor, and to rejoicing of haters 
I yelled to the world "yo holmes smell ya later" 

Slipped into a coma and I was finally there, 
dead of cardiac arrest at my home in Bel-Air. 

===Bel Air Ver. 2===
This is a story all about how my [[HNG|HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNGH]]!!!

==Legacy==
His legacy continues in every shitty rerelease of his music, his family, and Pedobear. Also this guy

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==Death: The Ultimate PR==

Before Jacko's death, no one gave a shit about him and his music. Only because it isn't even good enought to suck monkey cock. To everyone including his own family, he was a [[Loser|washed-up pop star]], with plastic skin and a fake nose. LaToya (Michael's evil twin brother) publicly accused Jacko of being a pervert on Geraldo Rivera's talk show in the 1990's. [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocrite Now he is an infallible pop music legend and his music is hotter than ever.] Use this to your advantage and [[profit|profit]] off his corpse while you still can!

Now with Jacko dead, the Jacksoff family is missing their primary cash cow. As with Elvis before him, it is time to plaster his plastic surgery ravaged face on anything and everything, in order to squeeze the last remaining jewgold in him. First came two video games, one being the ''Michael Jackson Experience'', a Wii dance game.

The most ambitious project is Planet Michael, a HUEG MMO set within Jacko's World based on his music videos and career. It is not known is players can enter the game as such characters as, Plastic Suregon, Private Doctor, Neverland Maid, Monkey Wrangler, Coffee Enema Administer, Anal Tampon Inserter, Personal Doctor Shopper and the best of all a 12 year old boy.

If this game becomes reality, there is much potential for [[trolling]]. As a consequence, the Patriotic Nigras will probably [[butthurt|shut the servers down within 30 minutes of opening]].

===Fun things to do===

*Go the Neverland as a 12 year old boy.

*Ask when bed time is, when the little had touches the big hand.

*Find Bubbles and give him a spanking.

*Close the pool because it has Aids.

*Raid Neverland, swarm the sim with characters all dressed as police, start asking where the CP is.

[[File:Michaeljacksonepstein .png|250px|thumb|Wacko Jacko posing with [[Epstein|his best friend]].]]
==2026==
A biopic film about his life titled ''Michael'' has been a [[fail|smash hit]]; this and a recently uncovered picture of him hanging with [[Jeffrey Epstein]] have somewhat revived his career and the discussion about it. Most will still call him a pedophile, but others have taken the "heartwarming" acting from Michael's own nephew, Jaafar Jackson, as an argument how he was never actually a pedophile, and is a [[pretty cool guy]] all along.

==Gallery==


{{cg||mjlulzgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Jackson behind tree.jpg|Peekaboo!
Image:MJAWSUM.jpg
Image:Jjj.jpg|OH SHIT HES BACK!
Image:Wacofaggot.jpg|For all the fans
Image:Mjprop8.jpg|Michael Jackson is against [[prop 8|Proposition 8]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Gollum.jpg|Yet another one of Jackson's plastic surgeries.
Image:Jackson_combo.png|A [[combofag|combofag's]] tribute.
File:DoucheyCulkin.jpg|Michael Jackson's penis is responsible for this beard.
Image:Mj_csi.jpg
Image:Peppermentpatti3.jpg|Michael Jackson's YouTube alter-ego, [[PeppermintPatti]].
Image:Freak.jpg|<s>Michael Jackson in the future.</s> Nevermind, he's dead.
Image:de-coca.jpg|The King is dead, long live Pepsi.
Image:Childloveright.jpg|Michael Jackson's beliefs.
Image:Dat ass mj.jpg|MOAR LIEK "[[Dat Ass|Dat LITTLE BOY'S Ass]] [[amirite]]?
Image:Banksy_Fairytalecottage.jpg|Luring children to his gingerbread house.
Image:Naraku & Kohaku.jpg|An [[anime]] Jackson.
Image:Jacksonbabyoutback.jpg|Michael Jackson feeds [[A Dog|the dogs]].
Image:Sneddon.gif|Tom Sneddon, Wacko Jacko [[EPIN]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbqwWLXxWR8]
Image:MJOJlol.jpg|Michael Jackson on his getaway tricycle.
Image:Dancer zombie..png|His future career plans.
Image:Deadjacko1.jpg
Image:PrinceandParisholdinghands.jpg|His son Prince, an obvious troll.
Image:Michael_pokemon_fight.jpg‎|Too bad he didn't have full heal..
Image:Michael jackson versus michael jackson.jpg|Proof Michael has a [[Dolly|clone]].
Image:Sega-genesis-michael-jackson-moonwalker.jpg
Image:Michael jackson spacechannel 5.jpg|MJ about to get some space [[loli]].
Image:Michael-Jackson.gif|He Tried, He Failed.
Image:Jacko_burka.jpg|Picture of [[Pedophile|Jacko]] and its first [[Loli|prey]] in the name of [[Allah|Allah]].
Image:Michael_DeLorenzo-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's illegitimate son.
image:uglybish.jpg|MJ's younger brother.
Image:Elephant man.jpg|"The Elephant Man, after Jackson took his bones."
Image:Nintendo-punch-out-michael-jackson-1.jpg
Image:michael-jackson-mugshot.jpg|remember sex monsters look no different from you and I
Image:Jacksonfurfag.jpg|Michael was also a closet [[furfag]].
Image:Michael-jackson-death-photo-ET.jpg|Who's dead?!
Image:Michael-Jackson-OK-cover.jpg
Image:Michael Jackson killer revealed.png|The prophecy.
Image:KFC_Michael_Jackson_APPROVES.jpg
Image:Jacksons shota commission.jpg|Michael Jackson's commissioned [[shotacon]].
Image:DeceasedMichaelJackson dontsueplz.jpg|Goodnight sweet prince
Image:Jackoappears.png|[[A challenger appears]].
Image:Michael_Jackson_-_Face_Mask.jpg
File:Michael Jackson drinking vodka with two dwarves.png
File:MJ.aids.album.jpg
File:Jackson Calm Down.jpg
File:MJ Clown.jpg
File:Celebrity-1-michael-jackson.jpg
File:I,Rape2.jpg
File:Goodnight jacko1.jpg
</gallery>|}}

==External Links==
[[Image:Mjapproves1.jpg|thumb]]
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJackson|Michael Jackson's Official YouTube (still active)}}
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJacksonsPenis|Micheal Jackson's Official 2nd YouTube Profile}}
* [http://mjackson.freevar.com/ Stupid ass MJ website with forum to spam and make fun of] - Website went belly up.
* [http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Cheeto-That-Foretold-Michael-Jacksons-Future_W0QQitemZ290327044439QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398d72157&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 The Cheeto That Foretold Michael Jacksons Future] Amongst the [[crapflood]] of Jacko memorabilia available on eBay. Dead link, no archives.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090629191833/http://cgi.ebay.com/Hot-cheetos-Michael-Jackson-Moonwalk-Thriller-Fun_W0QQitemZ290325355042QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398bd5a22&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A0%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 Michael Jackson Moonwalk Cheeto.]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090727174924/http://www.michaeljacksondeath.net/ First site up within minutes of his death, goodjob.]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090630014320/http://comments.deviantart.com/2/84273/1106426757⇒ First person to PURELY FUCKING OWN HIM after death.]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090103142752/http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html The History of Michael Jackson's face.]
* [http://www.forartist.com/forensic/modification/mj/jackson.htm Computer generated image of how Jacko would look if he never had plastic surgery.]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakira_discography Another person who bleached their skin. Compare the earliest album to the later ones.]
* [http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/mj-credit-card/ Pranksters pull a fast one - one pretends to be MJ and vomits all over the window of a Victoria's Secret.]
*[http://williambader.com/mj.html '''Michael Jackson jokes''']
* [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7816771/ Memories]
* [http://jackobubbles.ytmnd.com/ Jacko's Morning routine]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5KmXleS1wg&feature=related Rapper's Jacko diss set to ''South Park'' clips.]
* [http://www.nicenetruth.com/home/2009/06/flashback-2003-michael-jackson-paid-150k-for-voodoo-curse-on-spielberg-geffen.html?cid=6a00e54f0bd8738834011570944f5b970c Michael Jackson once paid to have a voodoo curse put on Steven Spielberg for not casting him in the movie Hook as <s>pedo</s> Peter Pan, Jackson's demise once and for all proves that Jews > Voodoo]
* [[Love_Shy#Advanced_2|Facial feminization surgery guinea pig]]

===Sites approved by Michael Jackson, '''not directly related'''===
*[http://www.nvhentai.com Wacko Jacko's secret stash!]
*[http://doujinland.com/ Doujinland.com] - Sure to contain '''lots and lots''' of [[sick fuck|sick fuckery]].
*[http://www.notfourchan.net not4chan]

{{portals|music|gay|youtube|trolls}}
{{Pedoseries}}
{{FakeRape}}
{{blackpeople}}
{{Otherkin}}

{{Timeline|Featured article June 26, [[2009]]|[[Online Blackjack]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Beccah Beushausen]]}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now June 10 and 12, [[2026]]|[[Tom Pearl]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

[[Category:2009]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Corpses]]

Michael Jackson

2026-06-11T01:19:02Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Dead link repair

{{spoiler|[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32542682/ns/entertainment-music/ MICHAEL JACKSON WAS MURDERED]}}
{{spoiler|THE BIOPIC WORKED AND NOW ZOOMERS THINK HE DIDN'T FUCK KIDS}}
{{cleanup}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Hanson exploitable fixed.png|50px]] </div>
{{Epstein}}
[[Image:Thehorror.jpg|thumb|right|[[Perfection Girl|YOU ARE FAPPING TO A DEAD GUY, ENJOY!]]]]
[[Image:Pedojackson.jpg|thumb|[[Star Wars|The student must now become the master...]]]]
[[Image:diana napolis.jpg|thumb|right|Computer generated approximation of what [[Michael Jackson]] would look like at 50 had he stayed black.]]

{{quote|<big>'''>:/'''</big>|[[Joseph Fritzl]]}}
'''Michael Joseph Jackson'''{{Boylover}}, or '''Wacko Jacko''' was a 50-year-old (if not dead, would've been a {{age|1958|08|29}}-year old) Albino [[manchild]] and alleged pedofag from the northwestern part of [[Indiana]] that is literally almost near [[Chicago]] who found fame and fortune as a homosexual pederast and so became a poster boy for [[NAMBLA]]. He could also sing and dance like an organ grinder's monkey. Born as a small black boy into a large family of singing and dancing chimps, he eventually struck out on his own to [[Carlton|turn into a white]] [[tranny]] version of Diana Ross, travel around the world [[shotacon|luring young boys]], monkeys and [[Birdman|Elephant Men]] to slumber parties at his very own castle, Neverland, and to prove once and for all that when [[buttsecks|the big hand touches the little hand]], it's time to get the fuck right outta there!

On June 25th, 2009 Wacko Jacko was [[buttsecks|playing doctor]] with his personal aesthetician after a hard day rehearsing for an upcoming tour and after nagging the shit out of the poor IRL doctor about not being able to sleep, keeled over from an overdose of the hospital-grade elephant tranquilliser Diprivan (or "[[drugs|milk]]" to Jacko). Yes, that's right, [[great justice]] finally had its day as Jackson was put down by the [[death|Grim Ræper]] for being the [[pedobear|damn dirty ape]] he is via lethal injection. Jackson's highly polished exo-skeleton will be stuffed with robotics and placed on display at Disney's Hall of Presidents.

Long rumoured to be the leading cause of ejaculations in [[underage ban]]s, it wasn't until 2003 that the long arm of the law touched Jacko inappropriately when one of his many victims' mothers revealed lurid description of Jacko's [[cock|wedding tackle]] after he ran out of [[bribery|hush money]]. Despite being legally a [[white]] woman, '''Captain EO''' played [[The Race Card|the race card]] like [[OJ]] in his/her 2003 pedophilia trial.

Amongst the train wreckage of a life full of batshit crazy behaviour, he leaves a legacy that includes being the author of [[W]]'s controversial '''No Child's Behind Left''' plan and saving humanity from the [[Beatles]] voluminous catalogue of songs (after outbidding [[Paul McCartney]] for the [[Jew gold|publishing rights]]) by preventing iTunes from offering said drek to the public.

Always a controversial figure, he will nonetheless be fondly remembered for the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" on live TV at [[Football|Super Bowl XXXVIII]] on February 1, 2004 in which he exposed his penis to Justin Timberlake during the half-time show

He is survived by [[wikipedia:Bubbles_(chimpanzee)|Bubbles the chimp]], the Elephant Man's remains, several children called [[true|Blanket]], a [[cumdumpster|surrogate babymamma]], Macauley Culkin, Stephen Spielberg, [http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-michael-jackson31-2009may31,0,1441957.story a mountain of debt], and the joke:

'''Q:''' What do Michael Jackson and KMart have in common?
'''A.''' Little boys' pants half off!

He will be missed by children everywhere for so many will never know the sweet caress of Michael Jackson's gloved hand.

[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Head_On_Fire.gif|right|thumb|200px|Proof that thinking about child rape too long will make your Soul-Glo ignite.]]
[[Image:Mj advice.jpg|thumb|[[Advice dog|Advice]] from Jacko]]
[[Image:MJBubbles2.gif|thumb|right|500px|Jacko's morning routine]]
[[Image:Michael fritzl.jpg|thumb|[[Josef Fritzl]] is Bad Michael Jackson.]]
[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|right|Celebrities are more important than [[You|You]].]]
[[Image:MJ_I_Rape.jpg|thumb|right|Jackson stars in his own feature length documentary movie ''I Rape''.]]
[[Image:Creepyposter.jpg|thumb|This [[demotivator]] courtesy of Neverland Ranch.]]
[[Image:Goodshow.jpg|thumb|right|MJ's death pleases the [[Juliana Wetmore|Elephant Man]].]]
[[Image:Bubbles_gun.jpg|thumb|Bubbles' gangsta rap album]]
[[Image:Blowing_bubbles.jpg|thumb|It is a well known fact that chimps are a gateway drug to [[13-year-old boys]].]]
[[Image:Wackajackson.jpg|thumb|Wacka wacka wacka jackson]]
[[Image:Pedo bear-jackson.jpg|thumb]]

==Life At Home==

MJ originally constructed for himself the perfect [[tool]] for drawing in his preferred cuisine: an amusement park where children "never grow up" and "[[DO NOT WANT|don't want]] to go to school". It was his primary romp for years until people realized that a grown man running a theme park for children all by himself was a little [[creepy]]. Jacko closed his own pool after his rape trial, moving back to [[Whore]]lywood with the intent to rebuild his fondle-factory in Berlin. Just thinking about plump little [[Prussian Blue|blue-eyed blond-haired Nazi children]] made Jacko drool so much his lips fell off: it was that or too much plastic surgery and amazing [[gay|buttsecks]] with Macaulay Culkin whom he had [[molested|fiddled]] the hell out of for many years after his copy of "Home Alone" on VHS(a.k.a. Exhibit C) became recognizable only as the worlds most valuable container of Jacko [[spooge|spunk]].

He lived with his a myriad of prepubescent servants and his [http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/10/09/2007-10-09_michael_jackson_nanny_fighting_lupus_alo.html Nanny with lupus]. [[Poland#Tourism|He has also expressed his wish to move to Poland]] and live in a castle purchased there, although he may have been unaware that the country's demographics were not ideal, having fewer young boys than girls.

=="Thriller" or "I'm a [[pedobear|pedophile]], put me in jail"==
[[Image:Wackojacko.jpg|thumb|200px|right|This is a picture from his music video, "Thriller". Also known as one of the last times he needed makeup to look like a zombie.]]
Years before Jackson was first accused of liking kids too much, he recorded a [[WIN|HIT]] album where all his plans and intentions where clearly stated. The album was released by [[EPIC|Epic records]] (for real) but before they released the album they decided to change some of the title songs, so as to make Jackson's intentions less obvious. '''Bolded''' are the words that were deleted:
# "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' '''(With That Young Boy)'''" – 6:02
# "Baby '''(Boy)''' Be Mine" – [[Weed|4:20]]
# "The '''([[Underage]])''' Girl Is Mine" – 3:42
# "'''(Chasing After [[Loli]] [[Ass]] Sure Is a) '''Thriller" – 5:57
# "'''(I'll Show You How To)''' [[Masturbation|Beat It]]" – 4:17
# "Billie Jean: '''(An 8 Year Old Can't Be Pregnant)'''" – 4:57
# "Human Nature: '''(I'm Just God's Messenger)'''" – 4:05
# "P.Y.T. (Pretty <s>Young</s> '''Underage''' Thing) " – 3:58
# "The '''([[Loli]])''' in My Life" – 4:12

==The Elephant Man==

Jackson was also an [[Trolling IRL|IRL Troll]] and had created many "false" stories about himself, apparently to see if he could "control" the media, a plan that would unfortunately backfire on him, [[LOL WUT|such as sleeping in an oxygen chamber to prolong his life, and buying a sex toy]]. Another notable event occurred in the [[1980|Mid-1980]]'s where Michael Jackson tried to purchase the skeleton of Joseph Merrick, aka the Elephant Man. He ultimately failed to obtain the skeleton. When asked the reason for his fagging, Michael Jackson stated that "it was mostly for the [[lulz]]". [[Some argue|People suspect]] however, that it was in fact not for the lulz but for [[necrophilia|other recreational activities]].

==Movie Career==

In addition to starring in '''Moonwalker''' and hundreds of music videos, at the time of his death, Michael Jackson was in pre-production on a prequel to Hustler's popular '''Barely Legal''' series.

===Moonwalker===

A series of films, including a bunch of shotas reenacting "Bad", but the only notable part of this film is the half hour long "Smooth Criminal" video, where Michael Jackson fights Joe Pesci from Home Alone, an evil supervillian who wants to '''get kids hooked on drugs''', but even worse, '''end prayer in schools.''' Naturally MJ takes offense to this, dances around, turns into a car, dances some more, '''shoots a guy while dancing with hookers''', then rescues the kiddies. But then he disappears into the night sky. Just like E.T. The kiddies cry on a street corner.

But then MJ comes back. Just like he did in real life.

===Ghosts===

Half an hour of Michael Jackson wearing extensive makeup to look like a fat white dude who accuses Michael Jackson of being a freak who corrupts children. To which Michael Jackson dances around with ghouls. Wow. That'll convince any skeptic of your sanity.

==Bubbles==
{{quote|Now that he's dead, who's gonna blow Bubbles?|[[Anon]]}}

{{tinyquote|Bubbles is more fun than a lot of people I know. I saw Bubbles at a wedding in a tux. He has great table manners.|Quincy Jones|[[truth|defending chimpmongling]]}}

After failing to secure a [[negro|bag of bones to stick his dick into]], Jacko purchased a chimpanzee called Bubbles to stick his dick into. As is well known, chimps love nothing better than to sit around masturbating between displays of fæces hurling and Jacko thought that slipping his own dick (which was not yet white and hairless) in would be a cinch. At first it was, so Bubbles became an entourage of one, Jacko's confidante and [[BFF]], accompanying him to [[torture|recording sessions]] and music videos shoots. On the road they shared a hotel bed and Jacko's wardrobe.

Life at home was sweet for both primates, with Bubbles and Jacko sharing a bedroom at [[Gaia|Neverland]]. Bubbles was fully toilet trained and allowed to use Jacko's private crapper but was often seen sitting in a crib wearing a diaper to satisfy Jacko's [[infantilism|diaper fetish]].
Historically,bedtime at Neverland Ranch was always when the big hand touched the little hand.

Sadly, in 2003, Bubbles was kicked to the curb after his [[shota|little hand]] grew too big for the [[pedo|big hand]] -anyone watching Law & Order: SVU know that this is classic pedo behavior. Also, with the arrival of Jacko's first [[IRL]] child, Prince Michael 1, Bubbles had outlived his usefulness.

Jacko justified the breakup and dumping Bubbles on the chimp's overly aggressive love making style where Bubbles had reversed his traditional position as the '[[masochist|bottom]]' in sexual relations to being the '[[sadist|top]]'. [[TL;DR]], Bubbles was now [[buttsecks|assraping]] Jacko as opposed to Jacko assraping Bubbles.

Jacko blamed [[Prince]] [http://prince.org/msg/7/38797 claiming that] he had used [[ESP]] to turn Bubbles batshit insane saying:

{{tinyquote|"[[Jacko|What kind of sicko would mess with a monkey?]] This is the final straw. Poor, poor Bubbles."|Jacko}}

Today, Bubbles has lived at many places since his failed attempt to assassinate Prince Michael and failed attempt to [[an hero]]. He lives in an animal sanctuary where he has a new best friend, [[Assrape|Sam: A 40 Year Old Chimpanzee nicknamed Bubba. Now Bubbles will have many nights of tender tender love making, just like the old days]].

In a special by Animal Planet, sister La Toya Jackson came to visit the chimp and exchanged tearful words. Yes, she is actually talking to a monkey...

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'''To a monkey'''
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==Early Life==

Jackson's early life was full of [[child abuse|moonbeams and happy times]]. Father, Joe Jackson, would give all Jackson children encouragement to pursue their [[pedophile|dreams]] and [[jailbait|desires]] by having hurtful buttsecks that left a deep impression on young Michael. Michael's bizarre unrelenting hatred of Steven Spielberg, going into fits of rage whenever Steven would win an Oscar, which was often, can only be explained by the fact that he was Steven's bitchboi before being passed along as a used cumbucket among the Hollywood elite.

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The Jackson family during the early days.
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==Pedo Trials: Part 1 of 2==
[[Image:HomeAloneMJ.jpg|thumb|In his prime.]]
[[Image:Alien-vs-predator-michael-jackson.jpg|thumb]]
In 1993, Jacko was tried for being a [[pedo]] after a [[13-year-old boy]] called '''[[An_Hero|Jordan]] [[Chris-chan|Chandler]]''' accused him of putting the big hand on the little penis, kissing him, face-fucking him and [[fapping]] in front of him, with a detailed description of Jacko's junk. His info was so precise, he even pinpointed where the vitiligo splotches were, the length of the performer's pubes and that he was a Jew, while he was in Monaco to be given 8 more awards at the World Music Awards. Throughout the show Jacko was sitting next to the Prince of Monaco with Jordan on his lap, bouncing him on his knee whilst whispering "Rubba" into his ear. No one thought that Jacko was a sick fuck.

Jacko, being too much of a pussy to have a trial, settled the case by giving the accuser's family over 20 million dollars. [[Some argue|Some say]] that this was proof of him being guilty. Others say that he couldn't be tried because of his health (spoiler alert: he was a drug addict). Now, had this been the extent of Jacko's allegations people would have left him alone, but the damn bastard couldn't stop himself from fucking...

==Pedo Trials: Part 2 out of 2==
{{quote|Another kid? That's like another dead white woman showing up at O.J.'s house, and O.J. going 'I know what you're thinking...'|Chris Rock}}
After making a jackass of himself in a documentary, Jacko gets accused of more molestation in 2003. This was the final blow to his career. The accuser was a former cancer patient who had his [[Pwnt|spine removed]] at a young age and his final words were to Michael Jackson. His wish came true and he was told to be ready to die in a few weeks, but after he met Michael, he was saved. [[Truth|Michael Jackson sucking your cock cures cancer]].

A trial finally ensued and it ended with Jacko being found innocent, before being [[BTFO]] to Bahrain.

[[Some argue|It has been scientifically estimated]] that the next molestation by Jacko would have occured in 2013, should he have been alive by then.

[[Image:Jesusjuice.jpg|thumb|Vintage Jacko lubrication]]
[[Image:Spotted-dick.jpg|thumb|MJ's junk in a can]]
[[Image:Michael_jackson.jpg|thumb]]
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===Quotable===

{{quote|I believe this charity single could still generate lots of money to help those in need. Why shouldn’t it come out? Because of something I did in the past? This is an industry in which rock stars date porno queens. Adult film doesn’t have the same stigma it used to. So, really, what’s their excuse?!|F. Marc Schaffel is coming to his own defense on word that Michael Jackson’s [[911]] charity single "What More Can I Give" isn’t being released because of his porno directing past.}}

==Jacko's Kids==
Michael Jackson's kids (the ones he ''had'' as opposed those which he "had"), who are all completely white, are (obviously) [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/michael-jackson/5706071/Michael-Jackson-not-biological-father-of-his-children.html not his biological children]. In fact, the biological father is widely known to be Mark Lester, the blond-haired former child actor who played Oliver in a [[gay]] musical movie.

Looking at Lester's childhood photo, which seems to fit the image of Jackson's ideal sex partner, one need not wonder how Jacko's children were being used.

Moreover, it appears that not only did Jacko not sire even one of his children, he never formally adopted them either. This case alone is grounds to have him posthumously prosecuted for kidnapping. [http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/07/01/michael-jacksons-will-filed-in-court-neverland-memorial-unlikely/ In his will], he left custody of the kids to [[Sheneequa|Diana Ross]].

{{quote|Daddy's Clowning!|One of the kids, further proving that he loves using kids.}}

{{cg|Gallery|gallery1|center|<gallery>
Image:Mark_lester-current.jpg|Mark Lester, the kids' godfather, is the biological father.
Image:Mark_lester-1968.jpg|Mark Lester in 1968 as the title character in the fagtastic musical Oliver!
Image:Michael_jackson_south_park.jpg|Jacko and his kids.
Image:mj.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #1 aka Macaulay
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Jackson_kid-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #2
Image:Jackson_kid-2.jpg|[[Jailbait|Michael Jackson's kid #3]]
Image:Sq-michael-baby-balcony-cnn.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #4 aka [[WTF|'''Blanket''']]
Image:Jacko_and_cartman.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #5 aka [[Cartman]]
Image:Michaelomer.jpg|Papa Joe's thoughts on Michael Jackson's kid #6
</gallery>}}

==The Mask of Pedo==
On December 13th, 2008, Michael Jackson reappeared in the spotlight using an [[nice try|old trick]] from Elizabeth Taylor/Liza Minnelli to gain sympathy from his fans by faking a mental illness. This time it took the form of what could be best described as dressing up like a Bollywood version of Zorro.

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Image:mj_zorro_child_hunt.jpg
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=='''This Is [[shit|It]]!''': The Comeback==
[[Image:Jacko_hulk.jpg|thumb|Jacko trains with the [[Hulk]] for his one city 'tour'.]]
{{quote|When I say this is it, it really means this is it.|Jacko, exposing himself in front of millions of horny fans|March 2009}}

In March 2009, Jacko announced that he would be playing live again for the first time in 12 years with a 50 day residence at [[Londonistan]]'s '''O2''' arena starting in July. Strapped for attention, he planned to revive his rotting career and make hueg amounts of [[Jew Gold]] to pay off his mountain of debt. He also needed fresh, young meat to feed his ravenous appetite for [[shota]]; his kids had grown so old they now revolted him so much he'd stopped getting protein from them and was so incredibly [[pro-ana|frail and underweight]] that nobody really noticed, since he always looked like that.

With a cash advance from the '''O2''' and a firm of [[jews|venture capitalists]] called '''AEG''' he set about trying to get into shape for the gruelling '''tour'''. He rented out [[LA]]'s Staples Center for full dress-rehearsals and hired [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2481286/Michael-Jackson-is-being-trained-by-Lou-Ferrigno.html the Incredible Hulk] to whip him into shape. The rehearsals were filmed and have been fashioned into a sloppy motion picture. Jacko's attention-seeking family claimed that a body double was used, but nobody gave a shit. As nobody gave a shit about the movie to begin with.

{{ytplus|Jackson Rehearsing For Surprise Comeback Performance 7/7/09|<center><youtube>mdVTbU9q0Lc</youtube></center>|Do it now before they grow up and it's too late!|[http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/ggallin/exposeyourselftokids.html Lyrics from the video rehearsal]}}
===THIS IS WIN===
It is now reported that Sony and AEG, in an attempt to cash in on Jacko's postmortem sales jump and salvage what they invested in Jacko for this tour, are going to, through the magic of editing, cobble together 80 hours of footage shot during the rehearsals of the tour to make an entirely incoherent film about Jacko's final days. The price tag of the film is reported to be at least $50 million.

==Death==

[[Image:Mjinvincible.jpg|thumb|Jacko's last studio album: [[irony|''Invincible'']]]]
[[Image:Goodnight_jacko.jpg|thumb|October 2007: /[[b]]/ called it. [[Goodnight sweet prince|Goodnight Shotacat]].]]
[[Image:HHHHHHHNNNGGGGGMJ2.JPG|thumb|right|An ironic twist to an [[HNG|old meme.]]]]
[[Image:Coincidentally.jpg|thumb|right|Anal cancer claims two more lives.]]
[[Image:DEADjacko.jpg|thumb|The cover of [[Pedophile|Jacko's]] re-release of the album ''BAD''.]]
[[Image:Michaels heart.jpg|thumb|Mj's temple of doom]]
[[Image:Chartattack.jpg|thumb|right|[[O RLY?]]]]
[[Image:MichealjacksonJackieChan.jpg|thumb|DO NOT WANT gook!!]]
[[Image:Jjj.jpg|thumb|right|OH SHIT HES BACK!]]
On Thursday, June 25th, 2009, Michael Jackson died in the act of lovemaking, having a [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]]. This is considered one of the best ways to go, preferable to rotting in an old folks home or dying of cancer. The young boy who Jackson was making love to at the time called paramedics; his name was not released. Most news agencies omitted this fact, leaving a mystery of who called paramedics when Michael Jackson was unconscious at the time. Regardless, Jacko was clearly [[I'm on my bee|not on his bee]].

The compassionate, humanitarian brain-trust /[[b]]/ was quick to exploit it with endless threads featuring the [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]] meme and Michael Jackson photoshops. His dying wish was to donate his [[cock|organ]] to a sick child (so that his [[Penis|organ]] would forever be inside a child).

[http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-dies-death-dead-cardiac-arrest TMZ] reported the initial diagnosis was that Jacko died from [[HNG|cardiac arrest]] caused by a massive cocktail of drugs including Dilaudid, Vicodin, Soma, Xanax, Zoloft, Paxil for anxiety and heartburn pill Prilosec administered by a nigger doctor. The Los Angeles coroner's office has deferred Jacko's inquest awaiting toxicology tests and to provide ample time for the media shitstorm to rage on for a week or two. Shortly thereafter, [[Jesse Jackson]] appeared on [[CNN]] calling for a full and thorough investigation of the facts and Jacko's live-in doctor (who, it was reported, had gone on the lam) suggesting that this was <big>MURDER!</big> He then called for [[OJ]] to be released from jail since he's an expert in tracking down the [[CIA|real killers]].

While it has since been confirmed that he had a heart attack in the ER, initial reports were of a stroke in the Pediatrics wing.

Meanwhile [[CNN]] reported Vanillaface moonwalked off this mortal coil. [[Fark]] reported that he had just begun work on ''Thriller 2: Electric Boogaloo!'' Though his heart is no longer beating, Disney has inspected the body and declared that the high quality plastic exterior makes him a great candidate for animatronics. The same news report told how he was planning to rekindle his popularity, but the only thing he accomplished was becoming the first [[wigger|white black person]] to die of something besides gunfire.

Because Jacko is dead, it is impossible to determine exactly how uncountably many children he sodomized at the Neverland Ranch, as well as everywhere else.

On 28 August, 2009 a Los Angeles Coroner ruled the death of Michael Jackson a [[AIDS|homo]]cide[http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/28/jackson.autopsy/index.html].
[[Image:Pedo mourn 2.png|thumb|right| [[lie|Pedobear mourns the loss.]]]]
[[Image:Pedo bearsmall.png|thumb|right| Good night. ]]

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===Reaction===
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{{morphquote|mqtest1|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;;
|Keep your tickets. This is all a setup for the best performance of Thriller ever.|[[Perez Hilton]]

|Is he even biodegradable???|A bewildered [[hippy|environmentalist]]

|Michael Jackson didn't die of a heart attack, he got food poisoning from eating nine year old nuts.|MJ's coroner

|For the first time ever, we will meet our quota on carbon-emissions for the Kyoto Protocol, thanks to his brave sacrifice.|Barack Obama

|You can't throw him away or cremate him as that would contribute to global warming.The best thing to do is recycle his body for the future use of Joan Rivers.|Fox News

|Run, cherubs, run!|God

|Thursday June 25th 2009: Dear Diary, today I got a new roommate...|[[Heath Ledger]]

|WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!|[[Alex Jones|Micheal Jackson death denier]]

|He just went for Baby Jesus|Grief-stricken /[[b]]/tard

|I think [[Chimpmongler]] is a [[pretty cool guy]]. eh diddles shota and doesn't afraid of [[Chris Hansen]]|[[anon]]

|Basketball will never be the same again |/b/tard

|Why must I cry?!?!|rehdogg

|This article is bad and ED should feel bad.|[[User:faggot|StarCadet]]

|Michael you left such a legacy on this earth, have touched SO MANY!!!|Kelly Rowland
|}}
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The Jews being the two-faced, money grubbing scum that they are, suddenly had newfound respect for Jacko. It turns out after [[Lulz|making many cruel jokes at his expense, stealing as much of his money as they could, and publicly humiliating him]], [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|they decided to just sweep all the nasty things they said under a rug and act like it never happened]]. As overwrought outpourings of unconditional love for the Gloved One rained down upon the masses from all and sundry, [[b|/b/]] remained the sole voice of reason in the tragedy, celebrating this living embodiment of [[Shotacat]]'s life and death, creating [[meme]]s in their indomitable style. Meanwhile, faggotry reigned the day on the likes of [[Shitter]], [[YouTube]], [[Facebook]] and blog after blog after blog.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten how [[shocked & appalled]] they were back when Jacko was on trial for molesting [[shota]]. People posted tributes and childhood memories, songs and vidyas of how important '''The King of Pop''' had been in their lives and how he'd provided the soundtrack to the indiscretions of youth; that first mugging (Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'), that first [[fap]] (Beat It), that first child molestation (Pretty Young Thing).

It's almost as if they could maybe one day overlook the [[Holocaust]] and give another [[Hitler|tortured artist with issues]] the props he surely deserved for being an inspiring leader, brilliant economist, terrific orator, a non-smoking [[dogmongler|animal lover]] with a keen eye for graphic design and style who also got the trains to run on time.

MJ cockmonglers have responded by locking themselves in cupboards, self-mutilation, Jacko tattoos, and [[Baww|BAWWWWWing]] about how the world is a cruel and violent place, subsequently expressing the desire to assault people who don't think or act as they demand. Scientists have concluded that the universe does not revolve around these [[asspies]].

[[Billy Mays]], who was also 50 years old, responded three days later with [[:Image:Billy Mays Last Words.jpg|his own drug-induced heart attack.]] Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in another for free.

You can [[Rape|help]] out the tremulous Jacko pirates by sacking their tree house of precious, underaged booty:

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<youtube>8_XWbQZgbPs</youtube>

'''[[Psychopath|Some people]] were glad he died'''
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The phrase "Fuck that nigger Michael Jackson" was said a total of 9 times during the above movie.
[http://www.mjfanclub.net/mjforum373/index.php '''The Well of Untapped Lulz ''']:

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|I was stuck on register on Friday. The customers ask "so how are you today?" I just wanted to punch every single one.|Jacko fanboy on pacifism

|I am having the worst time at work. These people that I thought of like family are stabbing me in the back. My boss, who I followed from another job,and a co-worker whom I never suspected could be so cruel, basically told me that my grief was irrelevent compaired to what other people go though and that I had no right to be upset because I didn't know him personally. How dare they invalidate how I'm feeling!?|Jacko fanboy on narcissism

|God I've just started crying all over again more than I ever had. I dunno what to do with myself I don't seem to be bothered about anything. Yesterday I had a thought that I wouldn't care if I was to die cos I'd be with Michael. I can't get over this I'm so depressed and confused. Every where I turn there's something Michael related. I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying for the rest of my life but I've read enough books that always give the message that if someone dies you need to try and move on with your life but I can't|Jacko fanboy on being a hedgehog

|I just don't know how I can go on living without the love of my life. Michael was everything to me. I just feel so numb and sick. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. It just feels like I'm stuck in a sick and twisted nightmare that I can't wake from. My whole world has just collapsed. I need someone to talk to.|Jacko fanboy on being ronery

|There was a parade in San Francisco, which I did not go to because I probably would have kick somebody being surrounded by pesudo fans. I'm past the sad grieving phase of my despair its now just anger. I hate how everyone is suddenly a "fan" of his once he dies, now everybody wants all his CDs, how everybody realizes what a musical genius he was. What about those who have been there since DAY ONE? I guess it's better than people being hateful but...UGH....they're all so FAKE. They didn't love him. I can't even stand to listen to them speak his name because they're all unworthy, just because you used to listen to Thriller when you were 4 doesnt make you a fan. Apart from this site I can't listen to anybody talk about him, I couldnt even finishing reading LMP's statement...Not everyone is a fake but...UGH, I dunno....|Jacko fanboy on elitism
|}}
</center>

Ozfags were particularly [[butthurt]] and authorities had to set up a [[self-pwn]] hotline after reports surfaced of [http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25712012-5019114,00.html numerous faggots committing suicide].

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==Trolling==
{{quote| I wish Bill Cosby or some other [[Black Jesus|'beloved' celeb]] would [[Win|die]] so we could get a break from all this Wacko Jacko coverage. Wait...[[No|is Bill Cosby alive?]]|Facebook post - [[Billy Mays|be careful what you wish for]]}}

[[Image:Trolling facebook.png|thumb|[[Godwin's Law|For the (God)win!]]]]
[[Image:Headline.jpg|thumb|right|[[Typical]] British headline.]]
In the meantime, you can help by trolling people on the Internets with mock outrage at all this praise for Jacko and comparing him to Hitler. Go to someone's virtual [[Facebook]] shrine and leave comments to ''their'' comments feigning disgust that someone would sweep Jacko's [[shota|crimes against humanity]] under the rug. Tell them they probably spent his pedo trial damning him to Hell and if not, ask them if they would let their kids sleep over at [[basement|Neverland]] or hang out with [[Josef Fritzl|Uncle Josef]]. Tell them that Hitler was a brilliant motivational speaker and a seriously snappy dresser.

Most people won't take the bait because they know it's true: Jacko was a [[sick fuck]]. But some will puff up their e-chests and rise to his defense: this is when you accuse them of hypocrisy and double standards. Ask why they hate children so much and how come molestation is okay when the perpetrator is a celebrity. If they [[BAW|BAAAAAW]] that you're out of line, admit that yes, you're sorry, comparing Jacko to Hitler is a terrible insult to Hitler.

Another effective trolling technique is to liberally apply mock outrage at both the fact that he is to be memorialized and that the huge tribute is to be paid for by your hard-earned tax dollars. Since the [[Arnold|State of Collyfornia]] is now [[bailout plan|bankrupt and issuing IOUs to pay for most services]] this adds [[flame|fuel to the fire]]. It has been estimated that police overtime needed for security at the memorial in downtown LA will cost $2,000,000 alone and ''[[you]]'' are going to be paying for it.

Comments such as:

<center>
{{morphquote|mqtest6|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;
|I don't get it. Why don't they dig up [[Jeffrey Dahmer]] and throw ''him'' a party. Hell, let's give Saddam Hussein a party; he had [[Basement|rape rooms]] too!|troll
|Yeah. Fritzl too. At least [[Josef Fritzl]] raped his own children.|troll bait
|Hey did Mike fuck your wife or something? You sounding like its personal.|[[butthurt]] Jacko fanboy
|My wife wasn't his type...she was female and older than 12.|[[OP]]
|LA can't even afford to hire any new cops or fire fighters and they're going to pay for a party to honor a pedophile? I for one will not be paying my taxes this year.|troll
|Yes Michael Jackson, make that scream ("AHEE-HEE!") while I rape your asshole and jack you off. Your rectum becomes swollen and starts bleeding you little cumslut. Then I slit your throat, lick your blood, and rape your throat hole while you ejaculate in ecstasy. I ram my fork in your eye and force you to eat it while you weep for mercy. I pour Girugamesh into your eye sockets, and inject you with pure, liquid Gaymen, so that you feel the agony for all eternity. Now that was only the warm up round. Now I begin to insert a mace-like needle, grafted from the claws of Cthulu, that has been laid on the surface of lava from Mount Doom into your urethra. Michael Jackson has gone into Terry Schiavo mode. He has to live out the rest of eternity in agony without the privilege of resisting his maker. Your friends and family can't save you Michael. I've thrown them into the Great Pit of Carkoon; where they shall be slowly digested in the Sarlacc's belly for over a thousand years.|The Bruce Campbell of Trolling Copypasta
|}}
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===[[Trolling IRL]]===
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{{quote|Let's knock out the [[harbl|psychobabble]]. He was a pervert, a child molester, a pedophile. What does giving this much coverage to him say about us as a country? I just think we're too politically correct.|[http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/06/new-york-congressman-blasts-jackson-pervert-low-life/ Rep. Peter King (R) New York]}}

===Trolling YouTube Comments===
<center>'''''See video comments'''''</center>
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{{frame|{{fv|faggotnigger|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>_Xeb13J8vGE</youtube>
|<youtube>m8JwjqPhDIw</youtube>
|<youtube>lGJ5FVCp5Wk</youtube>
|<youtube>_Xeb13J8vGE</youtube>
|<youtube>KY16HNboAMQ</youtube>
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{{cg|Le Jaque Waquette|jackowackomocklogallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Jackson dead.jpg
Image:Hurk.JPG
Image:MJ_dying_turn_you_on.jpg
Image:mj_csi.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Mj_king_of_b.jpg|LOL black person can't be kings!
Image:BlackWhiteBlue.jpg
Image:RIP MJ June25th 09.JPG
Image:Goodnight-thread.png|[[B|/b/]] can predict the future...[[goodnight sweet prince]]!
Image:Leave MJ alone.jpg|We need to leave the pedo faggot nigger zombie alone.
Image:Jackson 4 returning.jpg|Did you know the Jackson FOUR are getting back together?
Image:Popicon.jpg|Jacko was a pop icon.
Image:Pedobear mourning.png|[[Pedobear|I'll keep his legacy alive!]]
</gallery>}}

==[[Perez Hilton]], first responder==

As news of Jacko's death reached [[Perez Hilton]], Perez set about what Perez does best: showing that, as gay as he gets, he can always get even gayer. He made a blog post claiming that Jacko was just faking it to get out of contractual obligations. This caused abundant butthurt and threats of violence so Hilton tried to backtrack and apologise for the fag-on-fag violence. This wasn't enough for some misguided, gay anons who called for a raid on Hilton (see: [[Talk:Michael Jackson]]). A fallout from this gay Operation Thriller faggotry is expected and leading expert [[tfo]] will bring you news when it happens.

[[Image:Michaeladvison.jpg|thumb|right|Michael Jackson plays a large role in the ''Half-Life'' series, known as the Michael Advison.]]

[[Image:Jacksonhollowmansequel.jpg|thumb|right|In 2009, Michael Jackson set out to create a new image, this time of a movie star. His breakthrough role was in a low-budget sequel to a popular horror film.]]

[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|ACCESS DENIED LOL =[]]

[[Image:Perez hilton mariofailsitlols.jpg|center|1000px]]

==[[Conspiracy Theories]]==
[[Image:Mj glove.jpg|thumb|right|[[Domestic_violence|Does the King of Pop need to smack a bitch?]]]]

===Pepsi did it===
PepsiCo. tried but failed to defoliate Jacko's [[Don Imus|nappy head]] with napalm [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZnUI8tfKjg during the filming of a Pepsi commercial] in the '[[80s]], so Jacko turned to the painkillers which would eventually be similar to the drugs rumored to cause his death. Additionally, when the contract ended with him, Pepsi's stock market fell for a while, ergo, Pepsi did it.

===Rock Band did it===
''Rock Band Unplugged'' had the song "ABC" by The Jackson 5 on it. Michael Jackson was 11 when the song was released. 11 days after the release of the game, he died.

===[http://www.adl.org/PresRele/ASUS_12/2460_12.asp Jews did it]===
{{quote|Michael Jackson has an anti-Semitic streak and hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. It seems every time he has a problem in his life, he blames it on the Jews.|[[ADL]]}}
[[Image:Michael-jackson-the-muslim-perv.jpg|thumb|Abu Joe trollin Jews]]
[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Holding_Israel_Flag.jpg|thumb|Jacko surrenders to [http://www.yoyenta.com/?p=1035 appease the Jews]]]
To get back at [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/856313/posts Michael Jackson putting a "Voodoo curse" on Supreme Jewish Leader Steven Spielberg], a day before his [[death]], upon entrance into an [[IRC]] channel, a Jew compulsively typed in "ah Michael Jackson, ah what?" Given the fact that this Jew has tha [[OCD]], he has [[DBZ|special powers]], using which he placed a curse on Jacko and [[pwnt|killed]] him.

[[Thatkidparker|Some people]] do believe that Jews did Michael Jackson, and not just because [http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKTRE55P0Q520090626 he owed] them [[jew gold]] or placed a curse. Their reasoning goes as follows:
[[Image:Michael-Jackson-and-Adolf-Hitler.jpeg|thumb|Michael Achtung]]
::1. Jewish monetary perverts drool at the billions accumulated by MJ. They say [[hello|shalom]] and try to invite themselves to dinner, but Jacko says "[[GTFO]]."
::2. In addition, Jews at the [[Mossad]] want to insert [[memes]] into his lyrics so that they can sell more dope to the listeners. MJ says "[[gb2]]hell."
::3. Jews insert bait children into his life. Indeed, some of the children's families were [[BFF]] with their Jewish attorneys.
::4. Jacko smells trouble, and responds with lyrics. Jewish lawyers made him change them. The song is accompanied by creepy music that gives you visions of Jewish shark lawyers trying to [[banhammer]] you for good. The unedited version of one of his lyrics went as follows ([[srsly]]):

::::''Jew really fucked''
::::''Jew thought he really got control of me''
::::''Jew out there,''
::::''Jew really wants to get me''
::::''Kick me''
::::'''''Kike me'''''
::::''Use me''
::::''[[Pedo|Abuse]] me''
::::''Sue me''
::::'''''Jew me'''''
::::''Take control of me''

::5. Jews never find anything funny if it is at their own expense so proceeded to banhammer him. They fail at the banhammer but succeed in putting him out of commission.

A related theory is that the music biz did Jacko for revenge. His last studio album [[irony|''Invincible'']] in 2002 had tanked and Jacko had gotten into a [[butthurt|heated dispute]] with his label Sony and leveraged himself out of his contract after accusing them of failing to spend sufficient [[jew golds]] marketing and promoting him. Of course this had absolutely nothing to do with his refusal to go on tour in support of the record. Jacko and the head of the label went toe-to-toe in the media and Jackson alleged the label head was a [[white|"devil" and a "racist"]] who did not support black artists and used them solely for [[profit]]. He charged that the label chief had called his pal Irv Gotti a "fat nigger."

===[http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2009/06/23/sanford-disappears-to-hike-appalachian-trail-on-naked-hiking-day/ Mark Sanford] did it===
After getting busted for going AWOL from his day job as the Governor of South Carolina, [[Republicunt]] "family values" fanboy [[Mark Sanford]] (described by [[Stephen Colbert]] as "incredibly boring ... a manila envelope glued to a beige wall... a walking, talking [[Sleep sex|Ambien]]") admitted he was off in Buenos Aires having an extramarital affair with a moderately attractive [[Argentinian]] chica and not on a surprise solo hike on the Appalachian Trail (on Naked Hiking Day). Naturally, the old media went batshit crazy and had a field day at the Governor's expense and were set to drag all the skeletons from Sanford's suddenly interesting closet.

However, on the eve of blowing the lid off the secret lovers' steamy emails and such, Michael Jackson suddenly dropped dead. With a shot at being the [[GOP]]'s [[2012]] presidential candidate on the line, things were not looking good for the aging Lothario... until the spotlight shifted. Coincidence? You be the judge.

===[[Iran]] did it===

Following the hotly desputed re-election of [[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]], Iranians [[protest]]ed the results as the vote was the one shred of [[freedom]] they thought they still had. They even went as far as condemning the Supreme Leader which is apparently a big no-no. The American and other Western news media would closely observe this butthurt throughout the following weeks.

Fearing that continual coverage of the protests would weaken the [[Islamic]] leadership, they needed something seriously ''[[Epic]]'' to divert Western attention, which was Jackson's record producer.

===AEG Insurance Scam?===

[http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?p=1654#comments/ TMZ] reports that AEG, who funded the Jacko "This is It" tour, paid for a hefty insurance policy from Loyds of London covering, among all things, drug overdose.

===Farrah Fawcett did it?===

It is no coincidence that Farrah Fawcett and Jacko died on the same day. Reports state that earlier that day, on her deathbed Farrah's last dying wish was for all the children in the world to be safe. So God answered and killed Michael Jackson. The difference between Farrah and Jacko is that one screwed Majors, whereas the other screwed minors.

===Doctor Did It===

It is possible that his doctor Conrad Murray is responsible for drugging Jacko to death as the Coroner has requested all his files, as well as the LAPD, Los Angeles Country Sheriff, and now the DEA and FBI, because this will not be the same without the [[Party Van]]. They all want to know how this doctor got his hands on an IV-administered drug only available at hospitals.

===Illuminati Did Michael Jackson===
The [[Illuminati]] was infuriated when they learnt that Jacko was going to reveal the truth about the Illuminati's conspiracy to take over the world and reduce the world population by 90% in his next concert. They had their eyes on him ever since he created this non-satanic song which has a somewhat empowering effect, which is exactly the opposite of what the Illuminati wants (since everyone in the music industry must submit to [[Satan]] in order to get anywhere).

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===Jews, Jealous of Allah, did Michael Jackson ([[Copypasta]])===

Not surprisingly, this particular theory holds considerable sway in the [[Middle East]]. The synopsis goes as follows: Jacko had converted to Islam in the Middle East and intended to do a final farewell concert, encouraging his fans to do the same. Jews got wind of his intentions, and since he did not pass through any long tunnels where they could [[accident]]ize him like Diana when she got pregnant with an Arab, they had to kill him by injection. Jews unsurprisingly wanted him to continue pushing Diet Pepsi to the Americunts instead of [[Allah]].

{{quote3|
Michael Jackson (MJ) was known as the most loving person in the world. He gave up most of his assets for charity and all his life, he fought for equality of the African Americans, AIDS victims, Against Drug Abuse, Against Abortion, Against Child Labor and secretly channelled his properties for the hungry children of the world. However, he wasn't peace at heart. He always think of himself as a child trapped inside a man's body. Being Peter Pan is all his dream, never to grow up, forever a child. That inspires him to build Neverland - a heaven for children. Children of all ages and races are welcomed to Neverland. MJ had so much love to give.

However, he made a mistake which he didn't know of the consequences. He saw the peaceful life his brother, Jermaine (Muhammad Abdul Aziz) had as a Muslim - true, Jermaine faced so much pressure that he moved to Bahrain.

In 1989, MJ made a press conference which shocked the world, "I have seen the Islam in the life of my brother, I have read the books about Islam. And I'd love to someday feel the calmness and peace of Islam...."

Since that, MJ's life was never the same again.
He was accused of so many accusations against child molestation. MJ was not someone who can deal with much pressure as he is a 'delicate child'. All the extortion and black mail followed after that. Everything he did was being seen as wrong in the eyes of the Media. All these are to influence his fans to hate MJ. If he is hated, then he would not be influencial anymore.

For several years, he stayed in England. Getting motivation from a long time friend, Cat Stevens, who had converted into Islam - named Yusuf Islam. From him, MJ learnt how Yusuf had survived being Muslim. He made friends with a song writer, Zain Bhikha too, who wrote a song titled, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH", which he wanted MJ to sing whenever he is ready.

Following his trial, MJ withdrew to Bahrain, where he was the special guest of sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the son of Bahrain's king. It was then that Michael began to give conversion more "serious thought." MJ stayed in Bahrain for approximately 3 years. He studied Islam, the prayers and learn to read the Quran.

Finally, he came back to Los Angeles and in November 2008 MJ had formally converted to Islam in a ceremony at a close friend's house in Los Angeles. He perform Haj with the King of Bahrain and son on December 2008.

He had a hidden agenda when he wanted to make a final comeback. He annouced in a press conference on March 2009, "This will be my final concert. I'll see you all in July...."

He planned that during his concert, he would announce that this is the FINAL concert as he wouldn't be performing anymore. He will declare that he is a Muslim and will only sing with Yusuf Islam and Friends.
At the end of the concert, he will be singing the song, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH" with Yusuf Islam. That is the reason why he chose London as his final concert venue instead of the USA. It was because he thought he could escape the USA's extortion, and that he could perform with yusuf Islam who is in England.

At 12.30am, 25th June 2009, he hugged his production manager and said, "After reherasing for 2 months, I am finally ready for the concert..." Before leaving to sleep, he waved his dancers, "It was a good night everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow..." The next thing... He was pronouced dead at 2.26am.....

When 911 was called, there are so much questions asked. It is as if they didn't know who MJ is and where he lived. The questions asked are more towards to delay time. The hospital said the autopsy result can only be obtained after 2 months - very illog ical as even the worst African technology could obtain the result in less than 2 weeks.

MJ's family members opt for second private autopsy as they started to feel something fishy is going on. The result came out in about 4 days - MJ was drugged with high dosage of anaesthetic - drug that brings about a reversible loss of consciousness, if used to much could stop the heart from beating.

Another result which was not aired in the media was, MJ's stomach is empty of this drug, but his blood were filled with it - same case as the death of Marilyn Monroe. The private doctors also found many needle marks, afraid to be forced injections given to MJ on his bed.

In CNN Live after a week, Barack Obama was interviewed. And he said, "I love MJ, I grew up listening to his songs.. It is a great loss, but rest assured that there is no conspiracy in his death..."
Now, why must a President made such statement before the official autopsy result came out? How would he know that there is no conspiracy without the post-mortem result? Seems like someone is afraid of his shadows..

MJ was known to the world as a person who is against drug abuse. Why must he be addicted to drug, then? If he wanted to commit suicide, why rehearse for his concert? And why will he want to see his dancers the next day?

Enough about his death. I am sure people around the world is not stupid anymore. These supreme power can fool us during the Marilyn Monroe conspiracy, Martin Luther King and Princess Diana. But in this MJ's case, they left too many loopholes for those who think...!!

MJ's family was about to give him a Muslim burial with the help of The Brotherhood of Islam. But, the CIA showed up at Neverland's door - blackmailed them that if they do so publicly, Katherine (MJ's mother) would be pull off from MJ's 3 children's custody as well as MJ's estates. Instead, they'll hire Debbie Rowe for the purpose, and the court will be in their favour. So much for democracy and fairness....

Finally, they agreed to let MJ have a Muslim Burial in Neverland. But in condition, must show to the public a Christian Memorial Service, as to prove to the world that MJ was never a Muslim.

So, Staples Centre was just a normal show. That's why the coffin was closed and sealed.

MJ was buried days earlier. The Gold Coffin was empty. They were about to bury the Coffin according to Christianity ways in Hollywood - as in their deal with the USA Government.

These happened, because the USA is afraid of the rising numbers of Muslims in the world.

(Sheikh Ha**d)
The Brotherhood of Islam
Buletin of Bahrain

}}

===Castrati===

Michael Jackson's voice never broke. He never broke into falsetto to reach those notes, he could just hit them without effort. All of his brothers are big lantern-jawed men, but he even before all the surgery never looked older than 11. Why?

Because the Jackson 5 was a money machine, and it all depended on Jacko's voice. Joe Jackson is not a nice man, and never was. He did not take Michael to Mexico for an operation to ensure that that voice would remain angelic. He got good and drunk drunk and did the deed himself, with the boot.

This [[fact]] explains pretty much everything, the kids in the bed, the dance stuff where he'd touch himself like a woman. That's why the sexy dance moves in the "Thriller" video are so unconvincing and just wrong. Go watch it: it's obvious that this man has never actually fucked. He never put his dick in any of those kids because he was physically incapable of it. This is not to say that what he did wasn't sexually molesting the kids, just that it was quite a bit creepier than the paedophile rape everyone thinks it was.

In short: Jacko's dad kicked him in the balls, as a child, to cripple him and keep his voice sweet.

==Funeral==

[[Image:Paris-Michael-Katherine_Jackson_Memorial_OscarOscar.jpg|thumb|Paris Jackson, Michael Jackson's only daughter, accepts an Oscar for her stellar performance at the memorial ceremony.]]

[[Image:Jacklelz.jpg|thumb|LOL vandalism is pointless on this page or anywhere else on ED.]]

Jacko had a [[LOL|gala]] [[BAWWWW|public memorial service]] at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Jackson did not appear from the dead and deliver a true-to-life rendition of "Thriller", much to the chagrin of most of the audience. [[Paris_Hilton|Paris-Michael Katherine]] did, however, deliver a "heart-felt" speech at the end about how [[O RLY|great a father Jacko was]], and how they will lose their $1000/week allowances. It is not known who coaxed her into making said statements, as everyone knows Jacko's fatherhood suffered a brutal [[death]] after falling three stories off a balcony.

The hapless losers who invested $400 million for Jacko's comeback tour (who also own the Staples Center) gave out 11,000 free tickets to the public instead of selling them at a high markup. After burning $400 mil on a [[fail|now canceled due to death]] tour, why not just lose more money?

During the faggy memorial service, Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson took the stage, the latter having appeared in the music video ''[[Shit nobody cares about|Remember the Time (I Raped You)]]''. After everyone watching asked themselves why the fuck they are there, Magic Johnson went on to recount a tender moment he shared with Wacko Jacko:

'''LAWDY MICHAEL, IS DAT SUM [[Chikins|CHIKKINZ]]?'''
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During the service various speakers all lauded the strangeness that was Michael Jackson, spouting tall tales such as crediting Wacko Jacko with the election of [[Barack Obama]] as [[President]] (not that there aren't similarities).

It was reported that the Jacko family first opted for [[kill it with fire|cremation]], but it was discovered after years of plastic surgery and various chemical treatments to his skin that his body is now fireproof. NASA has approached Joe Jacko in the hope of getting corpse samples to use in research on new heat shields for space vehicles.

It has been reported that Jacko has finally been buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, instead of doing the right thing and donating his body to [[soyence]].

==Autopsy==
[[image:Jacko_SOPA.jpg|thumb|right|Is it really Piracy that's hurting the industry?]]
Initial autopsy results were inconclusive but reports from the Los Angeles Country Medical Examiner's office do showed that Jackson's body was 35% plastic and other recycled materials. After the rest of Jack's chassis had been released for embalming and burial subsequent autopsy and toxicology tests were done on Jackson's brain. On August 24th, 2009, the final results [http://www.wbaltv.com/entertainment/20535026/detail.html?treets=bal&tml=bal_natlbreak&ts=T&tmi=bal_natlbreak_1_02580108242009 were leaked] revealing the obvious: Jacko had died of a massive drug overdose and although he'd done the world a favour, Jacko's personal physician was accused of [[OJ Simpson|'''MURDER!!!''']]

The doctor, cardiologist Conrad Murray, had been treating Jackson for insomnia for about six weeks with a buttload of the hospital-grade anaesthetic Diprovan every night via the tip of his penis. Murray said he feared Jackson was becoming addicted to the anesthetic, which is supposed to be used only in hospitals and other advanced medical settings, so he had lowered the dose and threw in the sedatives Valium and midazolam.

According to court records Murray said he resisted a tired Jacko's incessant whining for Diprovan (which he referred to as "his milk") fearful that the pop star had developed a dangerous addiction to the drug. Instead, Murray administered the sedatives Valium, lorazepam and midazolam five times over six hours, which didn't work and Jacko continued to demand his "[[cum|milk]]". Jacko stopped breathing about 10 minutes after Dr. Death relented and finally gave in to his patient's demands.

==Michael Jackson Lives==

Don't believe Ondor's lies. We brought him back, we had the technology!
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[[Image:Lolmj.png|thumb|right|The King of Pop at his last performance.]]

==[[Bel-Air]]==

[[Image:Micahel jackson brb.jpg|thumb|right|]]

This is the story all about how 
My pulse got flipped turned upside down, 
Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, 
I'll tell you how I had cardiac arrest in Bel Air. 

In Gary, Indiana born and raised, 
In the plastic surgeon room is where I spent most of my days, 
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxing all cool, 
and sittin' in a van outside of a school 

When a couple of parents said I was up to no good, 
said I was molesting their kids in the neighborhood. 
I got in one little incident, and the police got scared 
and said "You movin' with your Blanket and children in Bel-Air" 

I said I'll do a big concert tour, and when it came near 
I needed a trainer - my body stress load was severe. 
One morning that I woke up and suddenly felt pain, 
I said "Nah forget it, YO HOLMES LET'S TRAIN!" 

The very next day, 'round 11 or 12, 
blood stopped rushing to my heart valve. 
I collapsed on the floor, and to rejoicing of haters 
I yelled to the world "yo holmes smell ya later" 

Slipped into a coma and I was finally there, 
dead of cardiac arrest at my home in Bel-Air. 

===Bel Air Ver. 2===
This is a story all about how my [[HNG|HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNGH]]!!!

==Legacy==
His legacy continues in every shitty rerelease of his music, his family, and Pedobear. Also this guy

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==Death: The Ultimate PR==

Before Jacko's death, no one gave a shit about him and his music. Only because it isn't even good enought to suck monkey cock. To everyone including his own family, he was a [[Loser|washed-up pop star]], with plastic skin and a fake nose. LaToya (Michael's evil twin brother) publicly accused Jacko of being a pervert on Geraldo Rivera's talk show in the 1990's. [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocrite Now he is an infallible pop music legend and his music is hotter than ever.] Use this to your advantage and [[profit|profit]] off his corpse while you still can!

Now with Jacko dead, the Jacksoff family is missing their primary cash cow. As with Elvis before him, it is time to plaster his plastic surgery ravaged face on anything and everything, in order to squeeze the last remaining jewgold in him. First came two video games, one being the ''Michael Jackson Experience'', a Wii dance game.

The most ambitious project is Planet Michael, a HUEG MMO set within Jacko's World based on his music videos and career. It is not known is players can enter the game as such characters as, Plastic Suregon, Private Doctor, Neverland Maid, Monkey Wrangler, Coffee Enema Administer, Anal Tampon Inserter, Personal Doctor Shopper and the best of all a 12 year old boy.

If this game becomes reality, there is much potential for [[trolling]]. As a consequence, the Patriotic Nigras will probably [[butthurt|shut the servers down within 30 minutes of opening]].

===Fun things to do===

*Go the Neverland as a 12 year old boy.

*Ask when bed time is, when the little had touches the big hand.

*Find Bubbles and give him a spanking.

*Close the pool because it has Aids.

*Raid Neverland, swarm the sim with characters all dressed as police, start asking where the CP is.

[[File:Michaeljacksonepstein .png|250px|thumb|Wacko Jacko posing with [[Epstein|his best friend]].]]
==2026==
A biopic film about his life titled ''Michael'' has been a [[fail|smash hit]]; this and a recently uncovered picture of him hanging with [[Jeffrey Epstein]] have somewhat revived his career and the discussion about it. Most will still call him a pedophile, but others have taken the "heartwarming" acting from Michael's own nephew, Jaafar Jackson, as an argument how he was never actually a pedophile, and is a [[pretty cool guy]] all along.

==Gallery==


{{cg||mjlulzgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Jackson behind tree.jpg|Peekaboo!
Image:MJAWSUM.jpg
Image:Jjj.jpg|OH SHIT HES BACK!
Image:Wacofaggot.jpg|For all the fans
Image:Mjprop8.jpg|Michael Jackson is against [[prop 8|Proposition 8]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Gollum.jpg|Yet another one of Jackson's plastic surgeries.
Image:Jackson_combo.png|A [[combofag|combofag's]] tribute.
File:DoucheyCulkin.jpg|Michael Jackson's penis is responsible for this beard.
Image:Mj_csi.jpg
Image:Peppermentpatti3.jpg|Michael Jackson's YouTube alter-ego, [[PeppermintPatti]].
Image:Freak.jpg|<s>Michael Jackson in the future.</s> Nevermind, he's dead.
Image:de-coca.jpg|The King is dead, long live Pepsi.
Image:Childloveright.jpg|Michael Jackson's beliefs.
Image:Dat ass mj.jpg|MOAR LIEK "[[Dat Ass|Dat LITTLE BOY'S Ass]] [[amirite]]?
Image:Banksy_Fairytalecottage.jpg|Luring children to his gingerbread house.
Image:Naraku & Kohaku.jpg|An [[anime]] Jackson.
Image:Jacksonbabyoutback.jpg|Michael Jackson feeds [[A Dog|the dogs]].
Image:Sneddon.gif|Tom Sneddon, Wacko Jacko [[EPIN]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbqwWLXxWR8]
Image:MJOJlol.jpg|Michael Jackson on his getaway tricycle.
Image:Dancer zombie..png|His future career plans.
Image:Deadjacko1.jpg
Image:PrinceandParisholdinghands.jpg|His son Prince, an obvious troll.
Image:Michael_pokemon_fight.jpg‎|Too bad he didn't have full heal..
Image:Michael jackson versus michael jackson.jpg|Proof Michael has a [[Dolly|clone]].
Image:Sega-genesis-michael-jackson-moonwalker.jpg
Image:Michael jackson spacechannel 5.jpg|MJ about to get some space [[loli]].
Image:Michael-Jackson.gif|He Tried, He Failed.
Image:Jacko_burka.jpg|Picture of [[Pedophile|Jacko]] and its first [[Loli|prey]] in the name of [[Allah|Allah]].
Image:Michael_DeLorenzo-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's illegitimate son.
image:uglybish.jpg|MJ's younger brother.
Image:Elephant man.jpg|"The Elephant Man, after Jackson took his bones."
Image:Nintendo-punch-out-michael-jackson-1.jpg
Image:michael-jackson-mugshot.jpg|remember sex monsters look no different from you and I
Image:Jacksonfurfag.jpg|Michael was also a closet [[furfag]].
Image:Michael-jackson-death-photo-ET.jpg|Who's dead?!
Image:Michael-Jackson-OK-cover.jpg
Image:Michael Jackson killer revealed.png|The prophecy.
Image:KFC_Michael_Jackson_APPROVES.jpg
Image:Jacksons shota commission.jpg|Michael Jackson's commissioned [[shotacon]].
Image:DeceasedMichaelJackson dontsueplz.jpg|Goodnight sweet prince
Image:Jackoappears.png|[[A challenger appears]].
Image:Michael_Jackson_-_Face_Mask.jpg
File:Michael Jackson drinking vodka with two dwarves.png
File:MJ.aids.album.jpg
File:Jackson Calm Down.jpg
File:MJ Clown.jpg
File:Celebrity-1-michael-jackson.jpg
File:I,Rape2.jpg
File:Goodnight jacko1.jpg
</gallery>|}}

==External Links==
[[Image:Mjapproves1.jpg|thumb]]
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJackson|Michael Jackson's Official YouTube (still active)}}
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJacksonsPenis|Micheal Jackson's Official 2nd YouTube Profile}}
* [http://mjackson.freevar.com/ Stupid ass MJ website with forum to spam and make fun of] - Website went belly up.
* [http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Cheeto-That-Foretold-Michael-Jacksons-Future_W0QQitemZ290327044439QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398d72157&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 The Cheeto That Foretold Michael Jacksons Future] Amongst the [[crapflood]] of Jacko memorabilia available on eBay. Dead link, no archives.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090629191833/http://cgi.ebay.com/Hot-cheetos-Michael-Jackson-Moonwalk-Thriller-Fun_W0QQitemZ290325355042QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398bd5a22&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A0%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 Michael Jackson Moonwalk Cheeto.]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090727174924/http://www.michaeljacksondeath.net/ First site up within minutes of his death, goodjob.]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090630014320/http://comments.deviantart.com/2/84273/1106426757⇒ First person to PURELY FUCKING OWN HIM after death.]
* [http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html The History of Michael Jackson's face.]
* [http://www.forartist.com/forensic/modification/mj/jackson.htm Computer generated image of how Jacko would look if he never had plastic surgery.]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakira_discography Another person who bleached their skin. Compare the earliest album to the later ones.]
* [http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/mj-credit-card/ Pranksters pull a fast one - one pretends to be MJ and vomits all over the window of a Victoria's Secret.]
*[http://williambader.com/mj.html '''Michael Jackson jokes''']
* [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7816771/ Memories]
* [http://jackobubbles.ytmnd.com/ Jacko's Morning routine]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5KmXleS1wg&feature=related Rapper's Jacko diss set to ''South Park'' clips.]
* [http://www.nicenetruth.com/home/2009/06/flashback-2003-michael-jackson-paid-150k-for-voodoo-curse-on-spielberg-geffen.html?cid=6a00e54f0bd8738834011570944f5b970c Michael Jackson once paid to have a voodoo curse put on Steven Spielberg for not casting him in the movie Hook as <s>pedo</s> Peter Pan, Jackson's demise once and for all proves that Jews > Voodoo]
* [[Love_Shy#Advanced_2|Facial feminization surgery guinea pig]]

===Sites approved by Michael Jackson, '''not directly related'''===
*[http://www.nvhentai.com Wacko Jacko's secret stash!]
*[http://doujinland.com/ Doujinland.com] - Sure to contain '''lots and lots''' of [[sick fuck|sick fuckery]].
*[http://www.notfourchan.net not4chan]

{{portals|music|gay|youtube|trolls}}
{{Pedoseries}}
{{FakeRape}}
{{blackpeople}}
{{Otherkin}}

{{Timeline|Featured article June 26, [[2009]]|[[Online Blackjack]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Beccah Beushausen]]}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now June 10 and 12, [[2026]]|[[Tom Pearl]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

[[Category:2009]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Corpses]]

Michael Jackson

2026-06-10T18:04:05Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Dead link repair

{{spoiler|THE BIOPIC WORKED AND NOW ZOOMERS THINK HE DIDN'T FUCK KIDS}}
{{spoiler|[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32542682/ns/entertainment-music/ MICHAEL JACKSON WAS MURDERED]}}
{{cleanup}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Hanson exploitable fixed.png|50px]] </div>
{{Epstein}}
[[Image:Thehorror.jpg|thumb|right|[[Perfection Girl|YOU ARE FAPPING TO A DEAD GUY, ENJOY!]]]]
[[Image:Pedojackson.jpg|thumb|[[Star Wars|The student must now become the master...]]]]
[[Image:diana napolis.jpg|thumb|right|Computer generated approximation of what [[Michael Jackson]] would look like at 50 had he stayed black.]]

{{quote|<big>'''>:/'''</big>|[[Joseph Fritzl]]}}
'''Michael Jackson'''{{Boylover}}, or '''Wacko Jacko''' was a 50-year-old (if not dead, would've been a {{age|1958|08|29}}-year old) Albino [[manchild]] and alleged pedofag from the northwestern part of [[Indiana]] that is literally almost near [[Chicago]] who found fame and fortune as a homosexual pederast and so became a poster boy for [[NAMBLA]]. He could also sing and dance like an organ grinder's monkey. Born as a small black boy into a large family of singing and dancing chimps, he eventually struck out on his own to [[Carlton|turn into a white]] [[tranny]] version of Diana Ross, travel around the world [[shotacon|luring young boys]], monkeys and [[Birdman|Elephant Men]] to slumber parties at his very own castle, Neverland, and to prove once and for all that when [[buttsecks|the big hand touches the little hand]], it's time to get the fuck right outta there!

On June 25th, 2009 Wacko Jacko was [[buttsecks|playing doctor]] with his personal aesthetician after a hard day rehearsing for an upcoming tour and after nagging the shit out of the poor IRL doctor about not being able to sleep, keeled over from an overdose of the hospital-grade elephant tranquilliser Diprivan (or "[[drugs|milk]]" to Jacko). Yes, that's right, [[great justice]] finally had its day as Jackson was put down by the [[death|Grim Ræper]] for being the [[pedobear|damn dirty ape]] he is via lethal injection. Jackson's highly polished exo-skeleton will be stuffed with robotics and placed on display at Disney's Hall of Presidents.

Long rumoured to be the leading cause of ejaculations in [[underage ban]]s, it wasn't until 2003 that the long arm of the law touched Jacko inappropriately when one of his many victims' mothers revealed lurid description of Jacko's [[cock|wedding tackle]] after he ran out of [[bribery|hush money]]. Despite being legally a [[white]] woman, '''Captain EO''' played [[The Race Card|the race card]] like [[OJ]] in his/her 2003 pedophilia trial.

Amongst the train wreckage of a life full of batshit crazy behaviour, he leaves a legacy that includes being the author of [[W]]'s controversial '''No Child's Behind Left''' plan and saving humanity from the [[Beatles]] voluminous catalogue of songs (after outbidding [[Paul McCartney]] for the [[Jew gold|publishing rights]]) by preventing iTunes from offering said drek to the public.

Always a controversial figure, he will nonetheless be fondly remembered for the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" on live TV at [[Football|Super Bowl XXXVIII]] on February 1, 2004 in which he exposed his penis to Justin Timberlake during the half-time show

He is survived by [[wikipedia:Bubbles_(chimpanzee)|Bubbles the chimp]], the Elephant Man's remains, several children called [[true|Blanket]], a [[cumdumpster|surrogate babymamma]], Macauley Culkin, Stephen Spielberg, [http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-michael-jackson31-2009may31,0,1441957.story a mountain of debt], and the joke:

'''Q:''' What do Michael Jackson and KMart have in common?
'''A.''' Little boys' pants half off!

He will be missed by children everywhere for so many will never know the sweet caress of Michael Jackson's gloved hand.

[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Head_On_Fire.gif|right|thumb|200px|Proof that thinking about child rape too long will make your Soul-Glo ignite.]]
[[Image:Mj advice.jpg|thumb|[[Advice dog|Advice]] from Jacko]]
[[Image:MJBubbles2.gif|thumb|right|500px|Jacko's morning routine]]
[[Image:Michael fritzl.jpg|thumb|[[Josef Fritzl]] is Bad Michael Jackson.]]
[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|right|Celebrities are more important than [[You|You]].]]
[[Image:MJ_I_Rape.jpg|thumb|right|Jackson stars in his own feature length documentary movie ''I Rape''.]]
[[Image:Creepyposter.jpg|thumb|This [[demotivator]] courtesy of Neverland Ranch.]]
[[Image:Goodshow.jpg|thumb|right|MJ's death pleases the [[Juliana Wetmore|Elephant Man]].]]
[[Image:Bubbles_gun.jpg|thumb|Bubbles' gangsta rap album]]
[[Image:Blowing_bubbles.jpg|thumb|It is a well known fact that chimps are a gateway drug to [[13-year-old boys]].]]
[[Image:Wackajackson.jpg|thumb|Wacka wacka wacka jackson]]
[[Image:Pedo bear-jackson.jpg|thumb]]

==Life At Home==

MJ originally constructed for himself the perfect [[tool]] for drawing in his preferred cuisine: an amusement park where children "never grow up" and "[[DO NOT WANT|don't want]] to go to school". It was his primary romp for years until people realized that a grown man running a theme park for children all by himself was a little [[creepy]]. Jacko closed his own pool after his rape trial, moving back to [[Whore]]lywood with the intent to rebuild his fondle-factory in Berlin. Just thinking about plump little [[Prussian Blue|blue-eyed blond-haired Nazi children]] made Jacko drool so much his lips fell off: it was that or too much plastic surgery and amazing [[gay|buttsecks]] with Macaulay Culkin whom he had [[molested|fiddled]] the hell out of for many years after his copy of "Home Alone" on VHS(a.k.a. Exhibit C) became recognizable only as the worlds most valuable container of Jacko [[spooge|spunk]].

He lived with his a myriad of prepubescent servants and his [http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/10/09/2007-10-09_michael_jackson_nanny_fighting_lupus_alo.html Nanny with lupus]. [[Poland#Tourism|He has also expressed his wish to move to Poland]] and live in a castle purchased there, although he may have been unaware that the country's demographics were not ideal, having fewer young boys than girls.

=="Thriller" or "I'm a [[pedobear|pedophile]], put me in jail"==
[[Image:Wackojacko.jpg|thumb|200px|right|This is a picture from his music video, "Thriller". Also known as one of the last times he needed makeup to look like a zombie.]]
Years before Jackson was first accused of liking kids too much, he recorded a [[WIN|HIT]] album where all his plans and intentions where clearly stated. The album was released by [[EPIC|Epic records]] (for real) but before they released the album they decided to change some of the title songs, so as to make Jackson's intentions less obvious. '''Bolded''' are the words that were deleted:
# "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' '''(With That Young Boy)'''" – 6:02
# "Baby '''(Boy)''' Be Mine" – [[Weed|4:20]]
# "The '''([[Underage]])''' Girl Is Mine" – 3:42
# "'''(Chasing After [[Loli]] [[Ass]] Sure Is a) '''Thriller" – 5:57
# "'''(I'll Show You How To)''' [[Masturbation|Beat It]]" – 4:17
# "Billie Jean: '''(An 8 Year Old Can't Be Pregnant)'''" – 4:57
# "Human Nature: '''(I'm Just God's Messenger)'''" – 4:05
# "P.Y.T. (Pretty <s>Young</s> '''Underage''' Thing) " – 3:58
# "The '''([[Loli]])''' in My Life" – 4:12

==The Elephant Man==

Jackson was also an [[Trolling IRL|IRL Troll]] and had created many "false" stories about himself, apparently to see if he could "control" the media, a plan that would unfortunately backfire on him, [[LOL WUT|such as sleeping in an oxygen chamber to prolong his life, and buying a sex toy]]. Another notable event occurred in the [[1980|Mid-1980]]'s where Michael Jackson tried to purchase the skeleton of Joseph Merrick, aka the Elephant Man. He ultimately failed to obtain the skeleton. When asked the reason for his fagging, Michael Jackson stated that "it was mostly for the [[lulz]]". [[Some argue|People suspect]] however, that it was in fact not for the lulz but for [[necrophilia|other recreational activities]].

==Movie Career==

In addition to starring in '''Moonwalker''' and hundreds of music videos, at the time of his death, Michael Jackson was in pre-production on a prequel to Hustler's popular '''Barely Legal''' series.

===Moonwalker===

A series of films, including a bunch of shotas reenacting "Bad", but the only notable part of this film is the half hour long "Smooth Criminal" video, where Michael Jackson fights Joe Pesci from Home Alone, an evil supervillian who wants to '''get kids hooked on drugs''', but even worse, '''end prayer in schools.''' Naturally MJ takes offense to this, dances around, turns into a car, dances some more, '''shoots a guy while dancing with hookers''', then rescues the kiddies. But then he disappears into the night sky. Just like E.T. The kiddies cry on a street corner.

But then MJ comes back. Just like he did in real life.

===Ghosts===

Half an hour of Michael Jackson wearing extensive makeup to look like a fat white dude who accuses Michael Jackson of being a freak who corrupts children. To which Michael Jackson dances around with ghouls. Wow. That'll convince any skeptic of your sanity.

==Bubbles==
{{quote|Now that he's dead, who's gonna blow Bubbles?|[[Anon]]}}

{{tinyquote|Bubbles is more fun than a lot of people I know. I saw Bubbles at a wedding in a tux. He has great table manners.|Quincy Jones|[[truth|defending chimpmongling]]}}

After failing to secure a [[negro|bag of bones to stick his dick into]], Jacko purchased a chimpanzee called Bubbles to stick his dick into. As is well known, chimps love nothing better than to sit around masturbating between displays of fæces hurling and Jacko thought that slipping his own dick (which was not yet white and hairless) in would be a cinch. At first it was, so Bubbles became an entourage of one, Jacko's confidante and [[BFF]], accompanying him to [[torture|recording sessions]] and music videos shoots. On the road they shared a hotel bed and Jacko's wardrobe.

Life at home was sweet for both primates, with Bubbles and Jacko sharing a bedroom at [[Gaia|Neverland]]. Bubbles was fully toilet trained and allowed to use Jacko's private crapper but was often seen sitting in a crib wearing a diaper to satisfy Jacko's [[infantilism|diaper fetish]].
Historically,bedtime at Neverland Ranch was always when the big hand touched the little hand.

Sadly, in 2003, Bubbles was kicked to the curb after his [[shota|little hand]] grew too big for the [[pedo|big hand]] -anyone watching Law & Order: SVU know that this is classic pedo behavior. Also, with the arrival of Jacko's first [[IRL]] child, Prince Michael 1, Bubbles had outlived his usefulness.

Jacko justified the breakup and dumping Bubbles on the chimp's overly aggressive love making style where Bubbles had reversed his traditional position as the '[[masochist|bottom]]' in sexual relations to being the '[[sadist|top]]'. [[TL;DR]], Bubbles was now [[buttsecks|assraping]] Jacko as opposed to Jacko assraping Bubbles.

Jacko blamed [[Prince]] [http://prince.org/msg/7/38797 claiming that] he had used [[ESP]] to turn Bubbles batshit insane saying:

{{tinyquote|"[[Jacko|What kind of sicko would mess with a monkey?]] This is the final straw. Poor, poor Bubbles."|Jacko}}

Today, Bubbles has lived at many places since his failed attempt to assassinate Prince Michael and failed attempt to [[an hero]]. He lives in an animal sanctuary where he has a new best friend, [[Assrape|Sam: A 40 Year Old Chimpanzee nicknamed Bubba. Now Bubbles will have many nights of tender tender love making, just like the old days]].

In a special by Animal Planet, sister La Toya Jackson came to visit the chimp and exchanged tearful words. Yes, she is actually talking to a monkey...

<center>
'''To a monkey'''
<youtube>e4ZRkS5GWj8</youtube>
</center>

==Early Life==

Jackson's early life was full of [[child abuse|moonbeams and happy times]]. Father, Joe Jackson, would give all Jackson children encouragement to pursue their [[pedophile|dreams]] and [[jailbait|desires]] by having hurtful buttsecks that left a deep impression on young Michael. Michael's bizarre unrelenting hatred of Steven Spielberg, going into fits of rage whenever Steven would win an Oscar, which was often, can only be explained by the fact that he was Steven's bitchboi before being passed along as a used cumbucket among the Hollywood elite.

<center>
<youtube>27w9cYOOiWc</youtube>

The Jackson family during the early days.
</center>

==Pedo Trials: Part 1 of 2==
[[Image:HomeAloneMJ.jpg|thumb|In his prime.]]
[[Image:Alien-vs-predator-michael-jackson.jpg|thumb]]
In 1993, Jacko was tried for being a [[pedo]] after a [[13-year-old boy]] called '''[[An_Hero|Jordan]] [[Chris-chan|Chandler]]''' accused him of putting the big hand on the little penis, kissing him, face-fucking him and [[fapping]] in front of him, with a detailed description of Jacko's junk. His info was so precise, he even pinpointed where the vitiligo splotches were, the length of the performer's pubes and that he was a Jew, while he was in Monaco to be given 8 more awards at the World Music Awards. Throughout the show Jacko was sitting next to the Prince of Monaco with Jordan on his lap, bouncing him on his knee whilst whispering "Rubba" into his ear. No one thought that Jacko was a sick fuck.

Jacko, being too much of a pussy to have a trial, settled the case by giving the accuser's family over 20 million dollars. [[Some argue|Some say]] that this was proof of him being guilty. Others say that he couldn't be tried because of his health (spoiler alert: he was a drug addict). Now, had this been the extent of Jacko's allegations people would have left him alone, but the damn bastard couldn't stop himself from fucking...

==Pedo Trials: Part 2 out of 2==
{{quote|Another kid? That's like another dead white woman showing up at O.J.'s house, and O.J. going 'I know what you're thinking...'|Chris Rock}}
After making a jackass of himself in a documentary, Jacko gets accused of more molestation in 2003. This was the final blow to his career. The accuser was a former cancer patient who had his [[Pwnt|spine removed]] at a young age and his final words were to Michael Jackson. His wish came true and he was told to be ready to die in a few weeks, but after he met Michael, he was saved. [[Truth|Michael Jackson sucking your cock cures cancer]].

A trial finally ensued and it ended with Jacko being found innocent, before being [[BTFO]] to Bahrain.

[[Some argue|It has been scientifically estimated]] that the next molestation by Jacko would have occured in 2013, should he have been alive by then.

[[Image:Jesusjuice.jpg|thumb|Vintage Jacko lubrication]]
[[Image:Spotted-dick.jpg|thumb|MJ's junk in a can]]
[[Image:Michael_jackson.jpg|thumb]]
<center>
{{frame|{{fv|jsb613vids|background-color: black;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>LLpABElGXb8</youtube>
|<youtube>LOmE-4IO8SY</youtube>
|<youtube>VbqwWLXxWR8</youtube>
|<youtube>qGVmWA5CBK0</youtube>
|<youtube>yG2doMwV4jw</youtube>
|<youtube>RPqOfoZH2sc</youtube>
|<youtube>MAW5jRObYjk</youtube>
|<youtube>_h1euQKJsr4</youtube>
}}|border=white|background=black}}
</center>

===Quotable===

{{quote|I believe this charity single could still generate lots of money to help those in need. Why shouldn’t it come out? Because of something I did in the past? This is an industry in which rock stars date porno queens. Adult film doesn’t have the same stigma it used to. So, really, what’s their excuse?!|F. Marc Schaffel is coming to his own defense on word that Michael Jackson’s [[911]] charity single "What More Can I Give" isn’t being released because of his porno directing past.}}

==Jacko's Kids==
Michael Jackson's kids (the ones he ''had'' as opposed those which he "had"), who are all completely white, are (obviously) [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/michael-jackson/5706071/Michael-Jackson-not-biological-father-of-his-children.html not his biological children]. In fact, the biological father is widely known to be Mark Lester, the blond-haired former child actor who played Oliver in a [[gay]] musical movie.

Looking at Lester's childhood photo, which seems to fit the image of Jackson's ideal sex partner, one need not wonder how Jacko's children were being used.

Moreover, it appears that not only did Jacko not sire even one of his children, he never formally adopted them either. This case alone is grounds to have him posthumously prosecuted for kidnapping. [http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/07/01/michael-jacksons-will-filed-in-court-neverland-memorial-unlikely/ In his will], he left custody of the kids to [[Sheneequa|Diana Ross]].

{{quote|Daddy's Clowning!|One of the kids, further proving that he loves using kids.}}

{{cg|Gallery|gallery1|center|<gallery>
Image:Mark_lester-current.jpg|Mark Lester, the kids' godfather, is the biological father.
Image:Mark_lester-1968.jpg|Mark Lester in 1968 as the title character in the fagtastic musical Oliver!
Image:Michael_jackson_south_park.jpg|Jacko and his kids.
Image:mj.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #1 aka Macaulay
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Jackson_kid-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #2
Image:Jackson_kid-2.jpg|[[Jailbait|Michael Jackson's kid #3]]
Image:Sq-michael-baby-balcony-cnn.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #4 aka [[WTF|'''Blanket''']]
Image:Jacko_and_cartman.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #5 aka [[Cartman]]
Image:Michaelomer.jpg|Papa Joe's thoughts on Michael Jackson's kid #6
</gallery>}}

==The Mask of Pedo==
On December 13th, 2008, Michael Jackson reappeared in the spotlight using an [[nice try|old trick]] from Elizabeth Taylor/Liza Minnelli to gain sympathy from his fans by faking a mental illness. This time it took the form of what could be best described as dressing up like a Bollywood version of Zorro.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:mj_zorro_child_hunt.jpg
Image:mj_zorro_the_finger.jpg
Image:mj_zorro_false_alarm.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

=='''This Is [[shit|It]]!''': The Comeback==
[[Image:Jacko_hulk.jpg|thumb|Jacko trains with the [[Hulk]] for his one city 'tour'.]]
{{quote|When I say this is it, it really means this is it.|Jacko, exposing himself in front of millions of horny fans|March 2009}}

In March 2009, Jacko announced that he would be playing live again for the first time in 12 years with a 50 day residence at [[Londonistan]]'s '''O2''' arena starting in July. Strapped for attention, he planned to revive his rotting career and make hueg amounts of [[Jew Gold]] to pay off his mountain of debt. He also needed fresh, young meat to feed his ravenous appetite for [[shota]]; his kids had grown so old they now revolted him so much he'd stopped getting protein from them and was so incredibly [[pro-ana|frail and underweight]] that nobody really noticed, since he always looked like that.

With a cash advance from the '''O2''' and a firm of [[jews|venture capitalists]] called '''AEG''' he set about trying to get into shape for the gruelling '''tour'''. He rented out [[LA]]'s Staples Center for full dress-rehearsals and hired [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2481286/Michael-Jackson-is-being-trained-by-Lou-Ferrigno.html the Incredible Hulk] to whip him into shape. The rehearsals were filmed and have been fashioned into a sloppy motion picture. Jacko's attention-seeking family claimed that a body double was used, but nobody gave a shit. As nobody gave a shit about the movie to begin with.

{{ytplus|Jackson Rehearsing For Surprise Comeback Performance 7/7/09|<center><youtube>mdVTbU9q0Lc</youtube></center>|Do it now before they grow up and it's too late!|[http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/ggallin/exposeyourselftokids.html Lyrics from the video rehearsal]}}
===THIS IS WIN===
It is now reported that Sony and AEG, in an attempt to cash in on Jacko's postmortem sales jump and salvage what they invested in Jacko for this tour, are going to, through the magic of editing, cobble together 80 hours of footage shot during the rehearsals of the tour to make an entirely incoherent film about Jacko's final days. The price tag of the film is reported to be at least $50 million.

==Death==

[[Image:Mjinvincible.jpg|thumb|Jacko's last studio album: [[irony|''Invincible'']]]]
[[Image:Goodnight_jacko.jpg|thumb|October 2007: /[[b]]/ called it. [[Goodnight sweet prince|Goodnight Shotacat]].]]
[[Image:HHHHHHHNNNGGGGGMJ2.JPG|thumb|right|An ironic twist to an [[HNG|old meme.]]]]
[[Image:Coincidentally.jpg|thumb|right|Anal cancer claims two more lives.]]
[[Image:DEADjacko.jpg|thumb|The cover of [[Pedophile|Jacko's]] re-release of the album ''BAD''.]]
[[Image:Michaels heart.jpg|thumb|Mj's temple of doom]]
[[Image:Chartattack.jpg|thumb|right|[[O RLY?]]]]
[[Image:MichealjacksonJackieChan.jpg|thumb|DO NOT WANT gook!!]]
[[Image:Jjj.jpg|thumb|right|OH SHIT HES BACK!]]
On Thursday, June 25th, 2009, Michael Jackson died in the act of lovemaking, having a [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]]. This is considered one of the best ways to go, preferable to rotting in an old folks home or dying of cancer. The young boy who Jackson was making love to at the time called paramedics; his name was not released. Most news agencies omitted this fact, leaving a mystery of who called paramedics when Michael Jackson was unconscious at the time. Regardless, Jacko was clearly [[I'm on my bee|not on his bee]].

The compassionate, humanitarian brain-trust /[[b]]/ was quick to exploit it with endless threads featuring the [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]] meme and Michael Jackson photoshops. His dying wish was to donate his [[cock|organ]] to a sick child (so that his [[Penis|organ]] would forever be inside a child).

[http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-dies-death-dead-cardiac-arrest TMZ] reported the initial diagnosis was that Jacko died from [[HNG|cardiac arrest]] caused by a massive cocktail of drugs including Dilaudid, Vicodin, Soma, Xanax, Zoloft, Paxil for anxiety and heartburn pill Prilosec administered by a nigger doctor. The Los Angeles coroner's office has deferred Jacko's inquest awaiting toxicology tests and to provide ample time for the media shitstorm to rage on for a week or two. Shortly thereafter, [[Jesse Jackson]] appeared on [[CNN]] calling for a full and thorough investigation of the facts and Jacko's live-in doctor (who, it was reported, had gone on the lam) suggesting that this was <big>MURDER!</big> He then called for [[OJ]] to be released from jail since he's an expert in tracking down the [[CIA|real killers]].

While it has since been confirmed that he had a heart attack in the ER, initial reports were of a stroke in the Pediatrics wing.

Meanwhile [[CNN]] reported Vanillaface moonwalked off this mortal coil. [[Fark]] reported that he had just begun work on ''Thriller 2: Electric Boogaloo!'' Though his heart is no longer beating, Disney has inspected the body and declared that the high quality plastic exterior makes him a great candidate for animatronics. The same news report told how he was planning to rekindle his popularity, but the only thing he accomplished was becoming the first [[wigger|white black person]] to die of something besides gunfire.

Because Jacko is dead, it is impossible to determine exactly how uncountably many children he sodomized at the Neverland Ranch, as well as everywhere else.

On 28 August, 2009 a Los Angeles Coroner ruled the death of Michael Jackson a [[AIDS|homo]]cide[http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/28/jackson.autopsy/index.html].
[[Image:Pedo mourn 2.png|thumb|right| [[lie|Pedobear mourns the loss.]]]]
[[Image:Pedo bearsmall.png|thumb|right| Good night. ]]

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===Reaction===
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|Keep your tickets. This is all a setup for the best performance of Thriller ever.|[[Perez Hilton]]

|Is he even biodegradable???|A bewildered [[hippy|environmentalist]]

|Michael Jackson didn't die of a heart attack, he got food poisoning from eating nine year old nuts.|MJ's coroner

|For the first time ever, we will meet our quota on carbon-emissions for the Kyoto Protocol, thanks to his brave sacrifice.|Barack Obama

|You can't throw him away or cremate him as that would contribute to global warming.The best thing to do is recycle his body for the future use of Joan Rivers.|Fox News

|Run, cherubs, run!|God

|Thursday June 25th 2009: Dear Diary, today I got a new roommate...|[[Heath Ledger]]

|WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!|[[Alex Jones|Micheal Jackson death denier]]

|He just went for Baby Jesus|Grief-stricken /[[b]]/tard

|I think [[Chimpmongler]] is a [[pretty cool guy]]. eh diddles shota and doesn't afraid of [[Chris Hansen]]|[[anon]]

|Basketball will never be the same again |/b/tard

|Why must I cry?!?!|rehdogg

|This article is bad and ED should feel bad.|[[User:faggot|StarCadet]]

|Michael you left such a legacy on this earth, have touched SO MANY!!!|Kelly Rowland
|}}
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The Jews being the two-faced, money grubbing scum that they are, suddenly had newfound respect for Jacko. It turns out after [[Lulz|making many cruel jokes at his expense, stealing as much of his money as they could, and publicly humiliating him]], [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|they decided to just sweep all the nasty things they said under a rug and act like it never happened]]. As overwrought outpourings of unconditional love for the Gloved One rained down upon the masses from all and sundry, [[b|/b/]] remained the sole voice of reason in the tragedy, celebrating this living embodiment of [[Shotacat]]'s life and death, creating [[meme]]s in their indomitable style. Meanwhile, faggotry reigned the day on the likes of [[Shitter]], [[YouTube]], [[Facebook]] and blog after blog after blog.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten how [[shocked & appalled]] they were back when Jacko was on trial for molesting [[shota]]. People posted tributes and childhood memories, songs and vidyas of how important '''The King of Pop''' had been in their lives and how he'd provided the soundtrack to the indiscretions of youth; that first mugging (Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'), that first [[fap]] (Beat It), that first child molestation (Pretty Young Thing).

It's almost as if they could maybe one day overlook the [[Holocaust]] and give another [[Hitler|tortured artist with issues]] the props he surely deserved for being an inspiring leader, brilliant economist, terrific orator, a non-smoking [[dogmongler|animal lover]] with a keen eye for graphic design and style who also got the trains to run on time.

MJ cockmonglers have responded by locking themselves in cupboards, self-mutilation, Jacko tattoos, and [[Baww|BAWWWWWing]] about how the world is a cruel and violent place, subsequently expressing the desire to assault people who don't think or act as they demand. Scientists have concluded that the universe does not revolve around these [[asspies]].

[[Billy Mays]], who was also 50 years old, responded three days later with [[:Image:Billy Mays Last Words.jpg|his own drug-induced heart attack.]] Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in another for free.

You can [[Rape|help]] out the tremulous Jacko pirates by sacking their tree house of precious, underaged booty:

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'''[[Psychopath|Some people]] were glad he died'''
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The phrase "Fuck that nigger Michael Jackson" was said a total of 9 times during the above movie.
[http://www.mjfanclub.net/mjforum373/index.php '''The Well of Untapped Lulz ''']:

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|I was stuck on register on Friday. The customers ask "so how are you today?" I just wanted to punch every single one.|Jacko fanboy on pacifism

|I am having the worst time at work. These people that I thought of like family are stabbing me in the back. My boss, who I followed from another job,and a co-worker whom I never suspected could be so cruel, basically told me that my grief was irrelevent compaired to what other people go though and that I had no right to be upset because I didn't know him personally. How dare they invalidate how I'm feeling!?|Jacko fanboy on narcissism

|God I've just started crying all over again more than I ever had. I dunno what to do with myself I don't seem to be bothered about anything. Yesterday I had a thought that I wouldn't care if I was to die cos I'd be with Michael. I can't get over this I'm so depressed and confused. Every where I turn there's something Michael related. I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying for the rest of my life but I've read enough books that always give the message that if someone dies you need to try and move on with your life but I can't|Jacko fanboy on being a hedgehog

|I just don't know how I can go on living without the love of my life. Michael was everything to me. I just feel so numb and sick. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. It just feels like I'm stuck in a sick and twisted nightmare that I can't wake from. My whole world has just collapsed. I need someone to talk to.|Jacko fanboy on being ronery

|There was a parade in San Francisco, which I did not go to because I probably would have kick somebody being surrounded by pesudo fans. I'm past the sad grieving phase of my despair its now just anger. I hate how everyone is suddenly a "fan" of his once he dies, now everybody wants all his CDs, how everybody realizes what a musical genius he was. What about those who have been there since DAY ONE? I guess it's better than people being hateful but...UGH....they're all so FAKE. They didn't love him. I can't even stand to listen to them speak his name because they're all unworthy, just because you used to listen to Thriller when you were 4 doesnt make you a fan. Apart from this site I can't listen to anybody talk about him, I couldnt even finishing reading LMP's statement...Not everyone is a fake but...UGH, I dunno....|Jacko fanboy on elitism
|}}
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Ozfags were particularly [[butthurt]] and authorities had to set up a [[self-pwn]] hotline after reports surfaced of [http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25712012-5019114,00.html numerous faggots committing suicide].

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==Trolling==
{{quote| I wish Bill Cosby or some other [[Black Jesus|'beloved' celeb]] would [[Win|die]] so we could get a break from all this Wacko Jacko coverage. Wait...[[No|is Bill Cosby alive?]]|Facebook post - [[Billy Mays|be careful what you wish for]]}}

[[Image:Trolling facebook.png|thumb|[[Godwin's Law|For the (God)win!]]]]
[[Image:Headline.jpg|thumb|right|[[Typical]] British headline.]]
In the meantime, you can help by trolling people on the Internets with mock outrage at all this praise for Jacko and comparing him to Hitler. Go to someone's virtual [[Facebook]] shrine and leave comments to ''their'' comments feigning disgust that someone would sweep Jacko's [[shota|crimes against humanity]] under the rug. Tell them they probably spent his pedo trial damning him to Hell and if not, ask them if they would let their kids sleep over at [[basement|Neverland]] or hang out with [[Josef Fritzl|Uncle Josef]]. Tell them that Hitler was a brilliant motivational speaker and a seriously snappy dresser.

Most people won't take the bait because they know it's true: Jacko was a [[sick fuck]]. But some will puff up their e-chests and rise to his defense: this is when you accuse them of hypocrisy and double standards. Ask why they hate children so much and how come molestation is okay when the perpetrator is a celebrity. If they [[BAW|BAAAAAW]] that you're out of line, admit that yes, you're sorry, comparing Jacko to Hitler is a terrible insult to Hitler.

Another effective trolling technique is to liberally apply mock outrage at both the fact that he is to be memorialized and that the huge tribute is to be paid for by your hard-earned tax dollars. Since the [[Arnold|State of Collyfornia]] is now [[bailout plan|bankrupt and issuing IOUs to pay for most services]] this adds [[flame|fuel to the fire]]. It has been estimated that police overtime needed for security at the memorial in downtown LA will cost $2,000,000 alone and ''[[you]]'' are going to be paying for it.

Comments such as:

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|I don't get it. Why don't they dig up [[Jeffrey Dahmer]] and throw ''him'' a party. Hell, let's give Saddam Hussein a party; he had [[Basement|rape rooms]] too!|troll
|Yeah. Fritzl too. At least [[Josef Fritzl]] raped his own children.|troll bait
|Hey did Mike fuck your wife or something? You sounding like its personal.|[[butthurt]] Jacko fanboy
|My wife wasn't his type...she was female and older than 12.|[[OP]]
|LA can't even afford to hire any new cops or fire fighters and they're going to pay for a party to honor a pedophile? I for one will not be paying my taxes this year.|troll
|Yes Michael Jackson, make that scream ("AHEE-HEE!") while I rape your asshole and jack you off. Your rectum becomes swollen and starts bleeding you little cumslut. Then I slit your throat, lick your blood, and rape your throat hole while you ejaculate in ecstasy. I ram my fork in your eye and force you to eat it while you weep for mercy. I pour Girugamesh into your eye sockets, and inject you with pure, liquid Gaymen, so that you feel the agony for all eternity. Now that was only the warm up round. Now I begin to insert a mace-like needle, grafted from the claws of Cthulu, that has been laid on the surface of lava from Mount Doom into your urethra. Michael Jackson has gone into Terry Schiavo mode. He has to live out the rest of eternity in agony without the privilege of resisting his maker. Your friends and family can't save you Michael. I've thrown them into the Great Pit of Carkoon; where they shall be slowly digested in the Sarlacc's belly for over a thousand years.|The Bruce Campbell of Trolling Copypasta
|}}
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===[[Trolling IRL]]===
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{{quote|Let's knock out the [[harbl|psychobabble]]. He was a pervert, a child molester, a pedophile. What does giving this much coverage to him say about us as a country? I just think we're too politically correct.|[http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/06/new-york-congressman-blasts-jackson-pervert-low-life/ Rep. Peter King (R) New York]}}

===Trolling YouTube Comments===
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{{cg|Le Jaque Waquette|jackowackomocklogallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Jackson dead.jpg
Image:Hurk.JPG
Image:MJ_dying_turn_you_on.jpg
Image:mj_csi.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Mj_king_of_b.jpg|LOL black person can't be kings!
Image:BlackWhiteBlue.jpg
Image:RIP MJ June25th 09.JPG
Image:Goodnight-thread.png|[[B|/b/]] can predict the future...[[goodnight sweet prince]]!
Image:Leave MJ alone.jpg|We need to leave the pedo faggot nigger zombie alone.
Image:Jackson 4 returning.jpg|Did you know the Jackson FOUR are getting back together?
Image:Popicon.jpg|Jacko was a pop icon.
Image:Pedobear mourning.png|[[Pedobear|I'll keep his legacy alive!]]
</gallery>}}

==[[Perez Hilton]], first responder==

As news of Jacko's death reached [[Perez Hilton]], Perez set about what Perez does best: showing that, as gay as he gets, he can always get even gayer. He made a blog post claiming that Jacko was just faking it to get out of contractual obligations. This caused abundant butthurt and threats of violence so Hilton tried to backtrack and apologise for the fag-on-fag violence. This wasn't enough for some misguided, gay anons who called for a raid on Hilton (see: [[Talk:Michael Jackson]]). A fallout from this gay Operation Thriller faggotry is expected and leading expert [[tfo]] will bring you news when it happens.

[[Image:Michaeladvison.jpg|thumb|right|Michael Jackson plays a large role in the ''Half-Life'' series, known as the Michael Advison.]]

[[Image:Jacksonhollowmansequel.jpg|thumb|right|In 2009, Michael Jackson set out to create a new image, this time of a movie star. His breakthrough role was in a low-budget sequel to a popular horror film.]]

[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|ACCESS DENIED LOL =[]]

[[Image:Perez hilton mariofailsitlols.jpg|center|1000px]]

==[[Conspiracy Theories]]==
[[Image:Mj glove.jpg|thumb|right|[[Domestic_violence|Does the King of Pop need to smack a bitch?]]]]

===Pepsi did it===
PepsiCo. tried but failed to defoliate Jacko's [[Don Imus|nappy head]] with napalm [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZnUI8tfKjg during the filming of a Pepsi commercial] in the '[[80s]], so Jacko turned to the painkillers which would eventually be similar to the drugs rumored to cause his death. Additionally, when the contract ended with him, Pepsi's stock market fell for a while, ergo, Pepsi did it.

===Rock Band did it===
''Rock Band Unplugged'' had the song "ABC" by The Jackson 5 on it. Michael Jackson was 11 when the song was released. 11 days after the release of the game, he died.

===[http://www.adl.org/PresRele/ASUS_12/2460_12.asp Jews did it]===
{{quote|Michael Jackson has an anti-Semitic streak and hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. It seems every time he has a problem in his life, he blames it on the Jews.|[[ADL]]}}
[[Image:Michael-jackson-the-muslim-perv.jpg|thumb|Abu Joe trollin Jews]]
[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Holding_Israel_Flag.jpg|thumb|Jacko surrenders to [http://www.yoyenta.com/?p=1035 appease the Jews]]]
To get back at [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/856313/posts Michael Jackson putting a "Voodoo curse" on Supreme Jewish Leader Steven Spielberg], a day before his [[death]], upon entrance into an [[IRC]] channel, a Jew compulsively typed in "ah Michael Jackson, ah what?" Given the fact that this Jew has tha [[OCD]], he has [[DBZ|special powers]], using which he placed a curse on Jacko and [[pwnt|killed]] him.

[[Thatkidparker|Some people]] do believe that Jews did Michael Jackson, and not just because [http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKTRE55P0Q520090626 he owed] them [[jew gold]] or placed a curse. Their reasoning goes as follows:
[[Image:Michael-Jackson-and-Adolf-Hitler.jpeg|thumb|Michael Achtung]]
::1. Jewish monetary perverts drool at the billions accumulated by MJ. They say [[hello|shalom]] and try to invite themselves to dinner, but Jacko says "[[GTFO]]."
::2. In addition, Jews at the [[Mossad]] want to insert [[memes]] into his lyrics so that they can sell more dope to the listeners. MJ says "[[gb2]]hell."
::3. Jews insert bait children into his life. Indeed, some of the children's families were [[BFF]] with their Jewish attorneys.
::4. Jacko smells trouble, and responds with lyrics. Jewish lawyers made him change them. The song is accompanied by creepy music that gives you visions of Jewish shark lawyers trying to [[banhammer]] you for good. The unedited version of one of his lyrics went as follows ([[srsly]]):

::::''Jew really fucked''
::::''Jew thought he really got control of me''
::::''Jew out there,''
::::''Jew really wants to get me''
::::''Kick me''
::::'''''Kike me'''''
::::''Use me''
::::''[[Pedo|Abuse]] me''
::::''Sue me''
::::'''''Jew me'''''
::::''Take control of me''

::5. Jews never find anything funny if it is at their own expense so proceeded to banhammer him. They fail at the banhammer but succeed in putting him out of commission.

A related theory is that the music biz did Jacko for revenge. His last studio album [[irony|''Invincible'']] in 2002 had tanked and Jacko had gotten into a [[butthurt|heated dispute]] with his label Sony and leveraged himself out of his contract after accusing them of failing to spend sufficient [[jew golds]] marketing and promoting him. Of course this had absolutely nothing to do with his refusal to go on tour in support of the record. Jacko and the head of the label went toe-to-toe in the media and Jackson alleged the label head was a [[white|"devil" and a "racist"]] who did not support black artists and used them solely for [[profit]]. He charged that the label chief had called his pal Irv Gotti a "fat nigger."

===[http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2009/06/23/sanford-disappears-to-hike-appalachian-trail-on-naked-hiking-day/ Mark Sanford] did it===
After getting busted for going AWOL from his day job as the Governor of South Carolina, [[Republicunt]] "family values" fanboy [[Mark Sanford]] (described by [[Stephen Colbert]] as "incredibly boring ... a manila envelope glued to a beige wall... a walking, talking [[Sleep sex|Ambien]]") admitted he was off in Buenos Aires having an extramarital affair with a moderately attractive [[Argentinian]] chica and not on a surprise solo hike on the Appalachian Trail (on Naked Hiking Day). Naturally, the old media went batshit crazy and had a field day at the Governor's expense and were set to drag all the skeletons from Sanford's suddenly interesting closet.

However, on the eve of blowing the lid off the secret lovers' steamy emails and such, Michael Jackson suddenly dropped dead. With a shot at being the [[GOP]]'s [[2012]] presidential candidate on the line, things were not looking good for the aging Lothario... until the spotlight shifted. Coincidence? You be the judge.

===[[Iran]] did it===

Following the hotly desputed re-election of [[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]], Iranians [[protest]]ed the results as the vote was the one shred of [[freedom]] they thought they still had. They even went as far as condemning the Supreme Leader which is apparently a big no-no. The American and other Western news media would closely observe this butthurt throughout the following weeks.

Fearing that continual coverage of the protests would weaken the [[Islamic]] leadership, they needed something seriously ''[[Epic]]'' to divert Western attention, which was Jackson's record producer.

===AEG Insurance Scam?===

[http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?p=1654#comments/ TMZ] reports that AEG, who funded the Jacko "This is It" tour, paid for a hefty insurance policy from Loyds of London covering, among all things, drug overdose.

===Farrah Fawcett did it?===

It is no coincidence that Farrah Fawcett and Jacko died on the same day. Reports state that earlier that day, on her deathbed Farrah's last dying wish was for all the children in the world to be safe. So God answered and killed Michael Jackson. The difference between Farrah and Jacko is that one screwed Majors, whereas the other screwed minors.

===Doctor Did It===

It is possible that his doctor Conrad Murray is responsible for drugging Jacko to death as the Coroner has requested all his files, as well as the LAPD, Los Angeles Country Sheriff, and now the DEA and FBI, because this will not be the same without the [[Party Van]]. They all want to know how this doctor got his hands on an IV-administered drug only available at hospitals.

===Illuminati Did Michael Jackson===
The [[Illuminati]] was infuriated when they learnt that Jacko was going to reveal the truth about the Illuminati's conspiracy to take over the world and reduce the world population by 90% in his next concert. They had their eyes on him ever since he created this non-satanic song which has a somewhat empowering effect, which is exactly the opposite of what the Illuminati wants (since everyone in the music industry must submit to [[Satan]] in order to get anywhere).

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===Jews, Jealous of Allah, did Michael Jackson ([[Copypasta]])===

Not surprisingly, this particular theory holds considerable sway in the [[Middle East]]. The synopsis goes as follows: Jacko had converted to Islam in the Middle East and intended to do a final farewell concert, encouraging his fans to do the same. Jews got wind of his intentions, and since he did not pass through any long tunnels where they could [[accident]]ize him like Diana when she got pregnant with an Arab, they had to kill him by injection. Jews unsurprisingly wanted him to continue pushing Diet Pepsi to the Americunts instead of [[Allah]].

{{quote3|
Michael Jackson (MJ) was known as the most loving person in the world. He gave up most of his assets for charity and all his life, he fought for equality of the African Americans, AIDS victims, Against Drug Abuse, Against Abortion, Against Child Labor and secretly channelled his properties for the hungry children of the world. However, he wasn't peace at heart. He always think of himself as a child trapped inside a man's body. Being Peter Pan is all his dream, never to grow up, forever a child. That inspires him to build Neverland - a heaven for children. Children of all ages and races are welcomed to Neverland. MJ had so much love to give.

However, he made a mistake which he didn't know of the consequences. He saw the peaceful life his brother, Jermaine (Muhammad Abdul Aziz) had as a Muslim - true, Jermaine faced so much pressure that he moved to Bahrain.

In 1989, MJ made a press conference which shocked the world, "I have seen the Islam in the life of my brother, I have read the books about Islam. And I'd love to someday feel the calmness and peace of Islam...."

Since that, MJ's life was never the same again.
He was accused of so many accusations against child molestation. MJ was not someone who can deal with much pressure as he is a 'delicate child'. All the extortion and black mail followed after that. Everything he did was being seen as wrong in the eyes of the Media. All these are to influence his fans to hate MJ. If he is hated, then he would not be influencial anymore.

For several years, he stayed in England. Getting motivation from a long time friend, Cat Stevens, who had converted into Islam - named Yusuf Islam. From him, MJ learnt how Yusuf had survived being Muslim. He made friends with a song writer, Zain Bhikha too, who wrote a song titled, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH", which he wanted MJ to sing whenever he is ready.

Following his trial, MJ withdrew to Bahrain, where he was the special guest of sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the son of Bahrain's king. It was then that Michael began to give conversion more "serious thought." MJ stayed in Bahrain for approximately 3 years. He studied Islam, the prayers and learn to read the Quran.

Finally, he came back to Los Angeles and in November 2008 MJ had formally converted to Islam in a ceremony at a close friend's house in Los Angeles. He perform Haj with the King of Bahrain and son on December 2008.

He had a hidden agenda when he wanted to make a final comeback. He annouced in a press conference on March 2009, "This will be my final concert. I'll see you all in July...."

He planned that during his concert, he would announce that this is the FINAL concert as he wouldn't be performing anymore. He will declare that he is a Muslim and will only sing with Yusuf Islam and Friends.
At the end of the concert, he will be singing the song, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH" with Yusuf Islam. That is the reason why he chose London as his final concert venue instead of the USA. It was because he thought he could escape the USA's extortion, and that he could perform with yusuf Islam who is in England.

At 12.30am, 25th June 2009, he hugged his production manager and said, "After reherasing for 2 months, I am finally ready for the concert..." Before leaving to sleep, he waved his dancers, "It was a good night everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow..." The next thing... He was pronouced dead at 2.26am.....

When 911 was called, there are so much questions asked. It is as if they didn't know who MJ is and where he lived. The questions asked are more towards to delay time. The hospital said the autopsy result can only be obtained after 2 months - very illog ical as even the worst African technology could obtain the result in less than 2 weeks.

MJ's family members opt for second private autopsy as they started to feel something fishy is going on. The result came out in about 4 days - MJ was drugged with high dosage of anaesthetic - drug that brings about a reversible loss of consciousness, if used to much could stop the heart from beating.

Another result which was not aired in the media was, MJ's stomach is empty of this drug, but his blood were filled with it - same case as the death of Marilyn Monroe. The private doctors also found many needle marks, afraid to be forced injections given to MJ on his bed.

In CNN Live after a week, Barack Obama was interviewed. And he said, "I love MJ, I grew up listening to his songs.. It is a great loss, but rest assured that there is no conspiracy in his death..."
Now, why must a President made such statement before the official autopsy result came out? How would he know that there is no conspiracy without the post-mortem result? Seems like someone is afraid of his shadows..

MJ was known to the world as a person who is against drug abuse. Why must he be addicted to drug, then? If he wanted to commit suicide, why rehearse for his concert? And why will he want to see his dancers the next day?

Enough about his death. I am sure people around the world is not stupid anymore. These supreme power can fool us during the Marilyn Monroe conspiracy, Martin Luther King and Princess Diana. But in this MJ's case, they left too many loopholes for those who think...!!

MJ's family was about to give him a Muslim burial with the help of The Brotherhood of Islam. But, the CIA showed up at Neverland's door - blackmailed them that if they do so publicly, Katherine (MJ's mother) would be pull off from MJ's 3 children's custody as well as MJ's estates. Instead, they'll hire Debbie Rowe for the purpose, and the court will be in their favour. So much for democracy and fairness....

Finally, they agreed to let MJ have a Muslim Burial in Neverland. But in condition, must show to the public a Christian Memorial Service, as to prove to the world that MJ was never a Muslim.

So, Staples Centre was just a normal show. That's why the coffin was closed and sealed.

MJ was buried days earlier. The Gold Coffin was empty. They were about to bury the Coffin according to Christianity ways in Hollywood - as in their deal with the USA Government.

These happened, because the USA is afraid of the rising numbers of Muslims in the world.

(Sheikh Ha**d)
The Brotherhood of Islam
Buletin of Bahrain

}}

===Castrati===

Michael Jackson's voice never broke. He never broke into falsetto to reach those notes, he could just hit them without effort. All of his brothers are big lantern-jawed men, but he even before all the surgery never looked older than 11. Why?

Because the Jackson 5 was a money machine, and it all depended on Jacko's voice. Joe Jackson is not a nice man, and never was. He did not take Michael to Mexico for an operation to ensure that that voice would remain angelic. He got good and drunk drunk and did the deed himself, with the boot.

This [[fact]] explains pretty much everything, the kids in the bed, the dance stuff where he'd touch himself like a woman. That's why the sexy dance moves in the "Thriller" video are so unconvincing and just wrong. Go watch it: it's obvious that this man has never actually fucked. He never put his dick in any of those kids because he was physically incapable of it. This is not to say that what he did wasn't sexually molesting the kids, just that it was quite a bit creepier than the paedophile rape everyone thinks it was.

In short: Jacko's dad kicked him in the balls, as a child, to cripple him and keep his voice sweet.

==Funeral==

[[Image:Paris-Michael-Katherine_Jackson_Memorial_OscarOscar.jpg|thumb|Paris Jackson, Michael Jackson's only daughter, accepts an Oscar for her stellar performance at the memorial ceremony.]]

[[Image:Jacklelz.jpg|thumb|LOL vandalism is pointless on this page or anywhere else on ED.]]

Jacko had a [[LOL|gala]] [[BAWWWW|public memorial service]] at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Jackson did not appear from the dead and deliver a true-to-life rendition of "Thriller", much to the chagrin of most of the audience. [[Paris_Hilton|Paris-Michael Katherine]] did, however, deliver a "heart-felt" speech at the end about how [[O RLY|great a father Jacko was]], and how they will lose their $1000/week allowances. It is not known who coaxed her into making said statements, as everyone knows Jacko's fatherhood suffered a brutal [[death]] after falling three stories off a balcony.

The hapless losers who invested $400 million for Jacko's comeback tour (who also own the Staples Center) gave out 11,000 free tickets to the public instead of selling them at a high markup. After burning $400 mil on a [[fail|now canceled due to death]] tour, why not just lose more money?

During the faggy memorial service, Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson took the stage, the latter having appeared in the music video ''[[Shit nobody cares about|Remember the Time (I Raped You)]]''. After everyone watching asked themselves why the fuck they are there, Magic Johnson went on to recount a tender moment he shared with Wacko Jacko:

'''LAWDY MICHAEL, IS DAT SUM [[Chikins|CHIKKINZ]]?'''
<center>
<youtube>-v-Y3ydRlGI</youtube>
</center>

During the service various speakers all lauded the strangeness that was Michael Jackson, spouting tall tales such as crediting Wacko Jacko with the election of [[Barack Obama]] as [[President]] (not that there aren't similarities).

It was reported that the Jacko family first opted for [[kill it with fire|cremation]], but it was discovered after years of plastic surgery and various chemical treatments to his skin that his body is now fireproof. NASA has approached Joe Jacko in the hope of getting corpse samples to use in research on new heat shields for space vehicles.

It has been reported that Jacko has finally been buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, instead of doing the right thing and donating his body to [[soyence]].

==Autopsy==
[[image:Jacko_SOPA.jpg|thumb|right|Is it really Piracy that's hurting the industry?]]
Initial autopsy results were inconclusive but reports from the Los Angeles Country Medical Examiner's office do showed that Jackson's body was 35% plastic and other recycled materials. After the rest of Jack's chassis had been released for embalming and burial subsequent autopsy and toxicology tests were done on Jackson's brain. On August 24th, 2009, the final results [http://www.wbaltv.com/entertainment/20535026/detail.html?treets=bal&tml=bal_natlbreak&ts=T&tmi=bal_natlbreak_1_02580108242009 were leaked] revealing the obvious: Jacko had died of a massive drug overdose and although he'd done the world a favour, Jacko's personal physician was accused of [[OJ Simpson|'''MURDER!!!''']]

The doctor, cardiologist Conrad Murray, had been treating Jackson for insomnia for about six weeks with a buttload of the hospital-grade anaesthetic Diprovan every night via the tip of his penis. Murray said he feared Jackson was becoming addicted to the anesthetic, which is supposed to be used only in hospitals and other advanced medical settings, so he had lowered the dose and threw in the sedatives Valium and midazolam.

According to court records Murray said he resisted a tired Jacko's incessant whining for Diprovan (which he referred to as "his milk") fearful that the pop star had developed a dangerous addiction to the drug. Instead, Murray administered the sedatives Valium, lorazepam and midazolam five times over six hours, which didn't work and Jacko continued to demand his "[[cum|milk]]". Jacko stopped breathing about 10 minutes after Dr. Death relented and finally gave in to his patient's demands.

==Michael Jackson Lives==

Don't believe Ondor's lies. We brought him back, we had the technology!
<center>
<youtube>vuQNJuqgRZE</youtube>
</center>

[[Image:Lolmj.png|thumb|right|The King of Pop at his last performance.]]

==[[Bel-Air]]==

[[Image:Micahel jackson brb.jpg|thumb|right|]]

This is the story all about how 
My pulse got flipped turned upside down, 
Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, 
I'll tell you how I had cardiac arrest in Bel Air. 

In Gary, Indiana born and raised, 
In the plastic surgeon room is where I spent most of my days, 
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxing all cool, 
and sittin' in a van outside of a school 

When a couple of parents said I was up to no good, 
said I was molesting their kids in the neighborhood. 
I got in one little incident, and the police got scared 
and said "You movin' with your Blanket and children in Bel-Air" 

I said I'll do a big concert tour, and when it came near 
I needed a trainer - my body stress load was severe. 
One morning that I woke up and suddenly felt pain, 
I said "Nah forget it, YO HOLMES LET'S TRAIN!" 

The very next day, 'round 11 or 12, 
blood stopped rushing to my heart valve. 
I collapsed on the floor, and to rejoicing of haters 
I yelled to the world "yo holmes smell ya later" 

Slipped into a coma and I was finally there, 
dead of cardiac arrest at my home in Bel-Air. 

===Bel Air Ver. 2===
This is a story all about how my [[HNG|HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNGH]]!!!

==Legacy==
His legacy continues in every shitty rerelease of his music, his family, and Pedobear. Also this guy

<center>
<youtube>cprMXNfn5-o</youtube>
</center>

==Death: The Ultimate PR==

Before Jacko's death, no one gave a shit about him and his music. Only because it isn't even good enought to suck monkey cock. To everyone including his own family, he was a [[Loser|washed-up pop star]], with plastic skin and a fake nose. LaToya (Michael's evil twin brother) publicly accused Jacko of being a pervert on Geraldo Rivera's talk show in the 1990's. [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocrite Now he is an infallible pop music legend and his music is hotter than ever.] Use this to your advantage and [[profit|profit]] off his corpse while you still can!

Now with Jacko dead, the Jacksoff family is missing their primary cash cow. As with Elvis before him, it is time to plaster his plastic surgery ravaged face on anything and everything, in order to squeeze the last remaining jewgold in him. First came two video games, one being the ''Michael Jackson Experience'', a Wii dance game.

The most ambitious project is Planet Michael, a HUEG MMO set within Jacko's World based on his music videos and career. It is not known is players can enter the game as such characters as, Plastic Suregon, Private Doctor, Neverland Maid, Monkey Wrangler, Coffee Enema Administer, Anal Tampon Inserter, Personal Doctor Shopper and the best of all a 12 year old boy.

If this game becomes reality, there is much potential for [[trolling]]. As a consequence, the Patriotic Nigras will probably [[butthurt|shut the servers down within 30 minutes of opening]].

===Fun things to do===

*Go the Neverland as a 12 year old boy.

*Ask when bed time is, when the little had touches the big hand.

*Find Bubbles and give him a spanking.

*Close the pool because it has Aids.

*Raid Neverland, swarm the sim with characters all dressed as police, start asking where the CP is.

[[File:Michaeljacksonepstein .png|250px|thumb|Wacko Jacko posing with [[Epstein|his best friend]].]]
==2026==
A biopic film about his life titled ''Michael'' has been a [[fail|smash hit]]; this and a recently uncovered picture of him hanging with [[Jeffrey Epstein]] have somewhat revived his career and the discussion about it. Most will still call him a pedophile, but others have taken the "heartwarming" acting from Michael's own nephew, Jaafar Jackson, as an argument how he was never actually a pedophile, and is a [[pretty cool guy]] all along.

==Gallery==


{{cg||mjlulzgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Jackson behind tree.jpg|Peekaboo!
Image:MJAWSUM.jpg
Image:Jjj.jpg|OH SHIT HES BACK!
Image:Wacofaggot.jpg|For all the fans
Image:Mjprop8.jpg|Michael Jackson is against [[prop 8|Proposition 8]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Gollum.jpg|Yet another one of Jackson's plastic surgeries.
Image:Jackson_combo.png|A [[combofag|combofag's]] tribute.
File:DoucheyCulkin.jpg|Michael Jackson's penis is responsible for this beard.
Image:Mj_csi.jpg
Image:Peppermentpatti3.jpg|Michael Jackson's YouTube alter-ego, [[PeppermintPatti]].
Image:Freak.jpg|<s>Michael Jackson in the future.</s> Nevermind, he's dead.
Image:de-coca.jpg|The King is dead, long live Pepsi.
Image:Childloveright.jpg|Michael Jackson's beliefs.
Image:Dat ass mj.jpg|MOAR LIEK "[[Dat Ass|Dat LITTLE BOY'S Ass]] [[amirite]]?
Image:Banksy_Fairytalecottage.jpg|Luring children to his gingerbread house.
Image:Naraku & Kohaku.jpg|An [[anime]] Jackson.
Image:Jacksonbabyoutback.jpg|Michael Jackson feeds [[A Dog|the dogs]].
Image:Sneddon.gif|Tom Sneddon, Wacko Jacko [[EPIN]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbqwWLXxWR8]
Image:MJOJlol.jpg|Michael Jackson on his getaway tricycle.
Image:Dancer zombie..png|His future career plans.
Image:Deadjacko1.jpg
Image:PrinceandParisholdinghands.jpg|His son Prince, an obvious troll.
Image:Michael_pokemon_fight.jpg‎|Too bad he didn't have full heal..
Image:Michael jackson versus michael jackson.jpg|Proof Michael has a [[Dolly|clone]].
Image:Sega-genesis-michael-jackson-moonwalker.jpg
Image:Michael jackson spacechannel 5.jpg|MJ about to get some space [[loli]].
Image:Michael-Jackson.gif|He Tried, He Failed.
Image:Jacko_burka.jpg|Picture of [[Pedophile|Jacko]] and its first [[Loli|prey]] in the name of [[Allah|Allah]].
Image:Michael_DeLorenzo-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's illegitimate son.
image:uglybish.jpg|MJ's younger brother.
Image:Elephant man.jpg|"The Elephant Man, after Jackson took his bones."
Image:Nintendo-punch-out-michael-jackson-1.jpg
Image:michael-jackson-mugshot.jpg|remember sex monsters look no different from you and I
Image:Jacksonfurfag.jpg|Michael was also a closet [[furfag]].
Image:Michael-jackson-death-photo-ET.jpg|Who's dead?!
Image:Michael-Jackson-OK-cover.jpg
Image:Michael Jackson killer revealed.png|The prophecy.
Image:KFC_Michael_Jackson_APPROVES.jpg
Image:Jacksons shota commission.jpg|Michael Jackson's commissioned [[shotacon]].
Image:DeceasedMichaelJackson dontsueplz.jpg|Goodnight sweet prince
Image:Jackoappears.png|[[A challenger appears]].
Image:Michael_Jackson_-_Face_Mask.jpg
File:Michael Jackson drinking vodka with two dwarves.png
File:MJ.aids.album.jpg
File:Jackson Calm Down.jpg
File:MJ Clown.jpg
File:Celebrity-1-michael-jackson.jpg
File:I,Rape2.jpg
File:Goodnight jacko1.jpg
</gallery>|}}

==External Links==
[[Image:Mjapproves1.jpg|thumb]]
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJackson|Michael Jackson's Official YouTube (still active)}}
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJacksonsPenis|Micheal Jackson's Official 2nd YouTube Profile}}
* [http://mjackson.freevar.com/ Stupid ass MJ website with forum to spam and make fun of] - Website went belly up.
* [http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Cheeto-That-Foretold-Michael-Jacksons-Future_W0QQitemZ290327044439QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398d72157&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 The Cheeto That Foretold Michael Jacksons Future] Amongst the [[crapflood]] of Jacko memorabilia available on eBay. Dead link, no archives.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090629191833/http://cgi.ebay.com/Hot-cheetos-Michael-Jackson-Moonwalk-Thriller-Fun_W0QQitemZ290325355042QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398bd5a22&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A0%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 Michael Jackson Moonwalk Cheeto.]
* [http://www.michaeljacksondeath.net First site up within minutes of his death, goodjob.]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090630014320/http://comments.deviantart.com/2/84273/1106426757⇒ First person to PURELY FUCKING OWN HIM after death.]
* [http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html The History of Michael Jackson's face.]
* [http://www.forartist.com/forensic/modification/mj/jackson.htm Computer generated image of how Jacko would look if he never had plastic surgery.]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakira_discography Another person who bleached their skin. Compare the earliest album to the later ones.]
* [http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/mj-credit-card/ Pranksters pull a fast one - one pretends to be MJ and vomits all over the window of a Victoria's Secret.]
*[http://williambader.com/mj.html '''Michael Jackson jokes''']
* [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7816771/ Memories]
* [http://jackobubbles.ytmnd.com/ Jacko's Morning routine]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5KmXleS1wg&feature=related Rapper's Jacko diss set to ''South Park'' clips.]
* [http://www.nicenetruth.com/home/2009/06/flashback-2003-michael-jackson-paid-150k-for-voodoo-curse-on-spielberg-geffen.html?cid=6a00e54f0bd8738834011570944f5b970c Michael Jackson once paid to have a voodoo curse put on Steven Spielberg for not casting him in the movie Hook as <s>pedo</s> Peter Pan, Jackson's demise once and for all proves that Jews > Voodoo]
* [[Love_Shy#Advanced_2|Facial feminization surgery guinea pig]]

===Sites approved by Michael Jackson, '''not directly related'''===
*[http://www.nvhentai.com Wacko Jacko's secret stash!]
*[http://doujinland.com/ Doujinland.com] - Sure to contain '''lots and lots''' of [[sick fuck|sick fuckery]].
*[http://www.notfourchan.net not4chan]

{{portals|music|gay|youtube|trolls}}
{{Pedoseries}}
{{FakeRape}}
{{blackpeople}}
{{Otherkin}}

{{Timeline|Featured article June 26, [[2009]]|[[Online Blackjack]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Beccah Beushausen]]}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now June 10 and 12, [[2026]]|[[Tom Pearl]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

[[Category:2009]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Corpses]]

Magnus Diridian

2026-06-10T17:28:16Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* Wanted Level */

{{Ib|[[File:MAGAfurry.png|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Robert Michael Sojkowski'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|February 25, 1972 ({{age|1972|2|25}} years old)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Rebel]]  [[File:ConfederateFlag.png|25px]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|19 hospitalized}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|KZ Manager, Single Player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Nope. [[epic win|Not even convicted]].}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|Revenge for getting banned from cons}}
{{Ibend}}
'''Magnus Diridian''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Robert Michael Sojkowski''') is a vitriolic alcoholic neo-confederate [[fursuit]] designer and the alleged perpetrator of the [[Midwest FurFest#Gas Attack|Midewst FurFest Gas Attack]], although he was never convicted on this because his furry buddies in the [[FBI|child pornography review unit]] were able to cover up for him. In spite of this, he is probably still better known for a series of amusing images featuring himself parading around in a [[fursuit]] embroidered with the flag of the [[Confederate States of America]] and protesting off the side various roadways holding a picket sign in support of [[The Donald|God Emperor Donald Trump]] even before he showed up on the [[Epstein Files|Epstein List]]. This guy really knew what was up! Magnus joined the furry fandom in 2003, making him an OG. He started a business called '''Chirrfull Creations''' that tailored and sold fursuits, including a fursuit for a certain David Ray Parker, a.k.a {{wf|RebelWolf|RebelWolf}}, who pimped his son out to members of a zoophile/pedophile ring. In 2014, he made an imitation fursuit of [[Lemonade Coyote]] after he died so he could pretend to be him at the next [[Anthrocon]] which got him banned from the event lol.

==Midwest FurFest 2014==
During the events of Midwest FurFest 2014, an unknown assailant would try to create his own mini-[[Holocaust]] by leaking a bunch of chlorine gas into the building, leading to an evacuation of the building and 19 people being hospitalized. At first, a lot of people speculated that this attack was perpetrated by some kind of [[LARP|anti-furry super soldier]], but gradually an eye was turned to Magnus due to his extensive criminal history as well long history of disrupting cons as well as the fact that he has done EXACT SAME THING at a bank in the past, although he was never convicted due to a lack of viable evidence linking him to the attack.

===Reactions===
When coverage of this event made its way to the [[old media]], not even the news anchors could hold in their laughter. Without a doubt, this the one of the lulziest acts of domestic terrorism to occur in US history.

{{Center|<youtube>Tp76cHN2FDU</youtube>}}

===Wanted Level===
{{WantedLevel|4}}

==Enter Arkansas==
Following the events of the Charleston Church shooting perpetrated by [[Dylann Storm Roof]], [[The Man]] started stripping down confederate flags and labeling them as [[卐|hate symbols]], causing Magnus (moar like [[MAGAt]], he!) to create his own Confederate flag-themed fursuit in an act of protest and march around holding pro-Trump picket signs. Yep, this is what these pictures come from. The fursuit's name is '''Arkansas''' btw. These images have become popular [[memes]] or "[[cringe]]" images, although most people in the [[NORP|normiesphere]] don't even know about the lulzier details beyond the surface. Hell, not even [[Kiwi Farms]] has a thread going on about this guy. Similar to his buttbuddy [[Foxler Nightfire]] and the Furry Raiders, he considers it a statement about [[free speech]], but [[Midwest FurFest]] and [[Anthrocon]] disagreed and banned him when he tried to show up wearing it. He even lent the suit to a friend so he could wear it in the fursuit parade for him, but he also got banned. [[Dogpatch Press]] honestly used ''[[:File:Free speech.png|this image]]'' when adressing their complaints. He tried wearing it to those conventions once again in 2017 (when his bans were lifted), this time with a white t-shirt to cover it up, but this did not yield anymore successful results.

{{quote|The primary purpose of Anthrocon is for our attendees to have fun.|Anthrocon's statement on why Magnus isn't allowed to have fun.}}

===Wanted Level===
{{WantedLevel|1}}

==Return to Midwest FurFest==
After being banned from Midwest FurFest 2017, he would ditch the confederate fursuit and show up again wearing something new: a Prussian-themed fursuit complete with a [[WW1]]-style pickelhaube helmet, and he stormed into the convention center doing nazi solutes and shouting "seig heil!", and even punched a staff member that asked him to leave, which caused security guards to aggro onto him chase him out of the building. He made an attempt to hide in some bushes, but was arrested after getting raped by the pigs who arrested him in his underpants after forcefully stripping the costume off of him. He was charged with assault and trespassing, then let off on a $100 bond. Magnus started a GoFundMe to raise funds for his legal fees, but it was quickly shut down due to admitting to two misdemeanors. If [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] is in any right to provide legal advice, then we recommend you do like Hitler and [[an hero|follow your leader]].

===Wanted Level===
{{WantedLevel|2}}

==Eternal pariah==

His Furaffinity account got BANHAMMERED sometime around 2022-2024.

Presumably, when [[Dragoneer]] failed his last death saving throw, Magnus joined the other furfag "outclaws" who hooted and hollared at his mortal coil being shedded, like how da jooz continue to celebrate that Rome collapsed 6 gorillian years ago.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Confederatefurfag.jpg
File:Confederate Furry.jpg
File:Acid Horse fursuit.png
File:Kaiser Magnus.jpg|Heil Kaiser!
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Cigarskunk]]
*[[CrusaderCat]]
*[[Daniel Perry]]
*[[Foxler Nightfire]]
*[[LockJaw Arts]]
*[[Polybun]]
*[[RainFurrest]]

==External Links==
*{{wf|Magnus_Diridian|Magnus Diridian}}
*{{wikilink|2014_Midwest_FurFest_gas_attack|2014 Midwest FurFest gas attack}}
*[https://brazen.fm/fur-and-loathing/ Fur and Loathing EPISODE 5: MAGNUS]
*[https://dogpatch.press/tag/magnus-diridian/ Dogpatch Press Article]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDp4ZWvAhnI YouTube]
*{{Furaffinity|magnusdiridian|FurAffinity}}
*[https://www.deviantart.com/magnusdiridian DeviantArt]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20171225002250/https://www.facebook.com/magnus.diridian Facebook (Archive)]
*[https://x.com/magnuszhor Xitter]
*[https://magnusdiridian.livejournal.com/ LiveJournal]
*[https://db.fursuit.me/?c=viewuser&nick=Magnusdiridian Fursuit Database]

{{Furfaggotry}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Nazis}}
{{Psychopaths}}
{{Terrorists}}
[[Category:Crime]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Furries]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:LJ Users]]
[[Category:Crackers]]
[[Category:Animal Abuse]]
[[category:2014]]
[[category:2017]]

Magnus Diridian

2026-06-10T17:27:59Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Reformat

{{Ib|[[File:MAGAfurry.png|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Robert Michael Sojkowski'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|February 25, 1972 ({{age|1972|2|25}} years old)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Rebel]]  [[File:ConfederateFlag.png|25px]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|19 hospitalized}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|KZ Manager, Single Player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Nope. [[epic win|Not even convicted]].}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|Revenge for getting banned from cons}}
{{Ibend}}
'''Magnus Diridian''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Robert Michael Sojkowski''') is a vitriolic alcoholic neo-confederate [[fursuit]] designer and the alleged perpetrator of the [[Midwest FurFest#Gas Attack|Midewst FurFest Gas Attack]], although he was never convicted on this because his furry buddies in the [[FBI|child pornography review unit]] were able to cover up for him. In spite of this, he is probably still better known for a series of amusing images featuring himself parading around in a [[fursuit]] embroidered with the flag of the [[Confederate States of America]] and protesting off the side various roadways holding a picket sign in support of [[The Donald|God Emperor Donald Trump]] even before he showed up on the [[Epstein Files|Epstein List]]. This guy really knew what was up! Magnus joined the furry fandom in 2003, making him an OG. He started a business called '''Chirrfull Creations''' that tailored and sold fursuits, including a fursuit for a certain David Ray Parker, a.k.a {{wf|RebelWolf|RebelWolf}}, who pimped his son out to members of a zoophile/pedophile ring. In 2014, he made an imitation fursuit of [[Lemonade Coyote]] after he died so he could pretend to be him at the next [[Anthrocon]] which got him banned from the event lol.

==Midwest FurFest 2014==
During the events of Midwest FurFest 2014, an unknown assailant would try to create his own mini-[[Holocaust]] by leaking a bunch of chlorine gas into the building, leading to an evacuation of the building and 19 people being hospitalized. At first, a lot of people speculated that this attack was perpetrated by some kind of [[LARP|anti-furry super soldier]], but gradually an eye was turned to Magnus due to his extensive criminal history as well long history of disrupting cons as well as the fact that he has done EXACT SAME THING at a bank in the past, although he was never convicted due to a lack of viable evidence linking him to the attack.

===Reactions===
When coverage of this event made its way to the [[old media]], not even the news anchors could hold in their laughter. Without a doubt, this the one of the lulziest acts of domestic terrorism to occur in US history.

{{Center|<youtube>Tp76cHN2FDU</youtube>}}

===Wanted Level===
{{WantedLevel|4}}

==Enter Arkansas==
Following the events of the Charleston Church shooting perpetrated by [[Dylann Storm Roof]], [[The Man]] started stripping down confederate flags and labeling them as [[卐|hate symbols]], causing Magnus (moar like [[MAGAt]], he!) to create his own Confederate flag-themed fursuit in an act of protest and march around holding pro-Trump picket signs. Yep, this is what these pictures come from. The fursuit's name is '''Arkansas''' btw. These images have become popular [[memes]] or "[[cringe]]" images, although most people in the [[NORP|normiesphere]] don't even know about the lulzier details beyond the surface. Hell, not even [[Kiwi Farms]] has a thread going on about this guy. Similar to his buttbuddy [[Foxler Nightfire]] and the Furry Raiders, he considers it a statement about [[free speech]], but [[Midwest FurFest]] and [[Anthrocon]] disagreed and banned him when he tried to show up wearing it. He even lent the suit to a friend so he could wear it in the fursuit parade for him, but he also got banned. [[Dogpatch Press]] honestly used ''[[:File:Free speech.png|this image]]'' when adressing their complaints. He tried wearing it to those conventions once again in 2017 (when his bans were lifted), this time with a white t-shirt to cover it up, but this did not yield anymore successful results.

{{quote|The primary purpose of Anthrocon is for our attendees to have fun.|Anthrocon's statement on why Magnus isn't allowed to have fun.}}

===Wanted Level===
{{WantedLevel|1}}

==Return to Midwest FurFest==
After being banned from Midwest FurFest 2017, he would ditch the confederate fursuit and show up again wearing something new: a Prussian-themed fursuit complete with a [[WW1]]-style pickelhaube helmet, and he stormed into the convention center doing nazi solutes and shouting "seig heil!", and even punched a staff member that asked him to leave, which caused security guards to aggro onto him chase him out of the building. He made an attempt to hide in some bushes, but was arrested after getting raped by the pigs who arrested him in his underpants after forcefully stripping the costume off of him. He was charged with assault and trespassing, then let off on a $100 bond. Magnus started a GoFundMe to raise funds for his legal fees, but it was quickly shut down due to admitting to two misdemeanors. If [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] is in any right to provide legal advice, then we recommend you do like Hitler and [[an hero|follow your leader]].

===Wanted Level===
{{WantedLevel|2}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Confederatefurfag.jpg
File:Confederate Furry.jpg
File:Acid Horse fursuit.png
File:Kaiser Magnus.jpg|Heil Kaiser!
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Cigarskunk]]
*[[CrusaderCat]]
*[[Daniel Perry]]
*[[Foxler Nightfire]]
*[[LockJaw Arts]]
*[[Polybun]]
*[[RainFurrest]]

==External Links==
*{{wf|Magnus_Diridian|Magnus Diridian}}
*{{wikilink|2014_Midwest_FurFest_gas_attack|2014 Midwest FurFest gas attack}}
*[https://brazen.fm/fur-and-loathing/ Fur and Loathing EPISODE 5: MAGNUS]
*[https://dogpatch.press/tag/magnus-diridian/ Dogpatch Press Article]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDp4ZWvAhnI YouTube]
*{{Furaffinity|magnusdiridian|FurAffinity}}
*[https://www.deviantart.com/magnusdiridian DeviantArt]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20171225002250/https://www.facebook.com/magnus.diridian Facebook (Archive)]
*[https://x.com/magnuszhor Xitter]
*[https://magnusdiridian.livejournal.com/ LiveJournal]
*[https://db.fursuit.me/?c=viewuser&nick=Magnusdiridian Fursuit Database]

{{Furfaggotry}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Nazis}}
{{Psychopaths}}
{{Terrorists}}
[[Category:Crime]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Furries]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:LJ Users]]
[[Category:Crackers]]
[[Category:Animal Abuse]]
[[category:2014]]
[[category:2017]]

Magnus Diridian

2026-06-10T17:27:16Z

LordGrimThInvincible: I did not know this guy had a page. Updating!

{{Ib|[[File:MAGAfurry.png|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Robert Michael Sojkowski'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|February 25, 1972 ({{age|1972|2|25}} years old)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Rebel]]  [[File:ConfederateFlag.png|25px]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|19 hospitalized}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|KZ Manager, Single Player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Nope. [[epic win|Not even convicted]].}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|Revenge for getting banned from cons}}
{{Ibend}}
'''Magnus Diridian''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Robert Michael Sojkowski''') is a vitriolic alcoholic neo-confederate [[fursuit]] designer and the alleged perpetrator of the [[Midwest FurFest#Gas Attack|Midewst FurFest Gas Attack]], although he was never convicted on this because his furry buddies in the [[FBI|child pornography review unit]] were able to cover up for him. In spite of this, he is probably still better known for a series of amusing images featuring himself parading around in a [[fursuit]] embroidered with the flag of the [[Confederate States of America]] and protesting off the side various roadways holding a picket sign in support of [[The Donald|God Emperor Donald Trump]] even before he showed up on the [[Epstein Files|Epstein List]]. This guy really knew what was up! Magnus joined the furry fandom in 2003, making him an OG. He started a business called '''Chirrfull Creations''' that tailored and sold fursuits, including a fursuit for a certain David Ray Parker, a.k.a {{wf|RebelWolf|RebelWolf}}, who pimped his son out to members of a zoophile/pedophile ring. In 2014, he made an imitation fursuit of [[Lemonade Coyote]] after he died so he could pretend to be him at the next [[Anthrocon]] which got him banned from the event lol.

==Midwest FurFest 2014==
During the events of Midwest FurFest 2014, an unknown assailant would try to create his own mini-[[Holocaust]] by leaking a bunch of chlorine gas into the building, leading to an evacuation of the building and 19 people being hospitalized. At first, a lot of people speculated that this attack was perpetrated by some kind of [[LARP|anti-furry super soldier]], but gradually an eye was turned to Magnus due to his extensive criminal history as well long history of disrupting cons as well as the fact that he has done EXACT SAME THING at a bank in the past, although he was never convicted due to a lack of viable evidence linking him to the attack.

===Reactions===
When coverage of this event made its way to the [[old media]], not even the news anchors could hold in their laughter. Without a doubt, this the one of the lulziest acts of domestic terrorism to occur in US history.

{{Center|<youtube>Tp76cHN2FDU</youtube>}}

===Wanted Level===
{{WantedLevel|4}}

==Enter Arkansas==
Following the events of the Charleston Church shooting perpetrated by [[Dylann Storm Roof]], [[The Man]] started stripping down confederate flags and labeling them as [[卐|hate symbols]], causing Magnus (moar like [[MAGAt]], he!) to create his own Confederate flag-themed fursuit in an act of protest and march around holding pro-Trump picket signs. Yep, this is what these pictures come from. The fursuit's name is '''Arkansas''' btw. These images have become popular [[memes]] or "[[cringe]]" images, although most people in the [[NORP|normiesphere]] don't even know about the lulzier details beyond the surface. Hell, not even [[Kiwi Farms]] has a thread going on about this guy. Similar to his buttbuddy [[Foxler Nightfire]] and the Furry Raiders, he considers it a statement about [[free speech]], but [[Midwest FurFest]] and [[Anthrocon]] disagreed and banned him when he tried to show up wearing it. He even lent the suit to a friend so he could wear it in the fursuit parade for him, but he also got banned. [[Dogpatch Press]] honestly used ''[[:File:Free speech.png|this image]]'' when adressing their complaints. He tried wearing it to those conventions once again in 2017 (when his bans were lifted), this time with a white t-shirt to cover it up, but this did not yield anymore successful results.

{{quote|The primary purpose of Anthrocon is for our attendees to have fun.|Anthrocon's statement on why Magnus isn't allowed to have fun.}}

===Wanted Level===
{{WantedLevel|1}}

==Eternal pariah==

His Furaffinity account got BANHAMMERED sometime around 2022-2024.

Presumably, when [[Dragoneer]] failed his last death saving throw, Magnus joined the other furfag "outclaws" who hooted and hollared at his mortal coil being shedded, like how da jooz continue to celebrate that Rome collapsed 6 gorillian years ago.

==Return to Midwest FurFest==
After being banned from Midwest FurFest 2017, he would ditch the confederate fursuit and show up again wearing something new: a Prussian-themed fursuit complete with a [[WW1]]-style pickelhaube helmet, and he stormed into the convention center doing nazi solutes and shouting "seig heil!", and even punched a staff member that asked him to leave, which caused security guards to aggro onto him chase him out of the building. He made an attempt to hide in some bushes, but was arrested after getting raped by the pigs who arrested him in his underpants after forcefully stripping the costume off of him. He was charged with assault and trespassing, then let off on a $100 bond. Magnus started a GoFundMe to raise funds for his legal fees, but it was quickly shut down due to admitting to two misdemeanors. If [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] is in any right to provide legal advice, then we recommend you do like Hitler and [[an hero|follow your leader]].

===Wanted Level===
{{WantedLevel|2}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Confederatefurfag.jpg
File:Confederate Furry.jpg
File:Acid Horse fursuit.png
File:Kaiser Magnus.jpg|Heil Kaiser!
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Cigarskunk]]
*[[CrusaderCat]]
*[[Daniel Perry]]
*[[Foxler Nightfire]]
*[[LockJaw Arts]]
*[[Polybun]]
*[[RainFurrest]]

==External Links==
*{{wf|Magnus_Diridian|Magnus Diridian}}
*{{wikilink|2014_Midwest_FurFest_gas_attack|2014 Midwest FurFest gas attack}}
*[https://brazen.fm/fur-and-loathing/ Fur and Loathing EPISODE 5: MAGNUS]
*[https://dogpatch.press/tag/magnus-diridian/ Dogpatch Press Article]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDp4ZWvAhnI YouTube]
*{{Furaffinity|magnusdiridian|FurAffinity}}
*[https://www.deviantart.com/magnusdiridian DeviantArt]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20171225002250/https://www.facebook.com/magnus.diridian Facebook (Archive)]
*[https://x.com/magnuszhor Xitter]
*[https://magnusdiridian.livejournal.com/ LiveJournal]
*[https://db.fursuit.me/?c=viewuser&nick=Magnusdiridian Fursuit Database]

{{Furfaggotry}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Nazis}}
{{Psychopaths}}
{{Terrorists}}
[[Category:Crime]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Furries]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:LJ Users]]
[[Category:Crackers]]
[[Category:Animal Abuse]]
[[category:2014]]
[[category:2017]]

Michael Jackson

2026-06-10T17:00:37Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Dead link repair

{{spoiler|THE BIOPIC WORKED AND NOW ZOOMERS THINK HE DIDN'T FUCK KIDS}}
{{spoiler|[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32542682/ns/entertainment-music/ MICHAEL JACKSON WAS MURDERED]}}
{{cleanup}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Hanson exploitable fixed.png|50px]] </div>
{{Epstein}}
[[Image:Thehorror.jpg|thumb|right|[[Perfection Girl|YOU ARE FAPPING TO A DEAD GUY, ENJOY!]]]]
[[Image:Pedojackson.jpg|thumb|[[Star Wars|The student must now become the master...]]]]
[[Image:diana napolis.jpg|thumb|right|Computer generated approximation of what [[Michael Jackson]] would look like at 50 had he stayed black.]]

{{quote|<big>'''>:/'''</big>|[[Joseph Fritzl]]}}
'''Michael Jackson'''{{Boylover}}, or '''Wacko Jacko''' was a 50-year-old (if not dead, would've been a {{age|1958|08|29}}-year old) Albino [[manchild]] and alleged pedofag from the northwestern part of [[Indiana]] that is literally almost near [[Chicago]] who found fame and fortune as a homosexual pederast and so became a poster boy for [[NAMBLA]]. He could also sing and dance like an organ grinder's monkey. Born as a small black boy into a large family of singing and dancing chimps, he eventually struck out on his own to [[Carlton|turn into a white]] [[tranny]] version of Diana Ross, travel around the world [[shotacon|luring young boys]], monkeys and [[Birdman|Elephant Men]] to slumber parties at his very own castle, Neverland, and to prove once and for all that when [[buttsecks|the big hand touches the little hand]], it's time to get the fuck right outta there!

On June 25th, 2009 Wacko Jacko was [[buttsecks|playing doctor]] with his personal aesthetician after a hard day rehearsing for an upcoming tour and after nagging the shit out of the poor IRL doctor about not being able to sleep, keeled over from an overdose of the hospital-grade elephant tranquilliser Diprivan (or "[[drugs|milk]]" to Jacko). Yes, that's right, [[great justice]] finally had its day as Jackson was put down by the [[death|Grim Ræper]] for being the [[pedobear|damn dirty ape]] he is via lethal injection. Jackson's highly polished exo-skeleton will be stuffed with robotics and placed on display at Disney's Hall of Presidents.

Long rumoured to be the leading cause of ejaculations in [[underage ban]]s, it wasn't until 2003 that the long arm of the law touched Jacko inappropriately when one of his many victims' mothers revealed lurid description of Jacko's [[cock|wedding tackle]] after he ran out of [[bribery|hush money]]. Despite being legally a [[white]] woman, '''Captain EO''' played [[The Race Card|the race card]] like [[OJ]] in his/her 2003 pedophilia trial.

Amongst the train wreckage of a life full of batshit crazy behaviour, he leaves a legacy that includes being the author of [[W]]'s controversial '''No Child's Behind Left''' plan and saving humanity from the [[Beatles]] voluminous catalogue of songs (after outbidding [[Paul McCartney]] for the [[Jew gold|publishing rights]]) by preventing iTunes from offering said drek to the public.

Always a controversial figure, he will nonetheless be fondly remembered for the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" on live TV at [[Football|Super Bowl XXXVIII]] on February 1, 2004 in which he exposed his penis to Justin Timberlake during the half-time show

He is survived by [[wikipedia:Bubbles_(chimpanzee)|Bubbles the chimp]], the Elephant Man's remains, several children called [[true|Blanket]], a [[cumdumpster|surrogate babymamma]], Macauley Culkin, Stephen Spielberg, [http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-michael-jackson31-2009may31,0,1441957.story a mountain of debt], and the joke:

'''Q:''' What do Michael Jackson and KMart have in common?
'''A.''' Little boys' pants half off!

He will be missed by children everywhere for so many will never know the sweet caress of Michael Jackson's gloved hand.

[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Head_On_Fire.gif|right|thumb|200px|Proof that thinking about child rape too long will make your Soul-Glo ignite.]]
[[Image:Mj advice.jpg|thumb|[[Advice dog|Advice]] from Jacko]]
[[Image:MJBubbles2.gif|thumb|right|500px|Jacko's morning routine]]
[[Image:Michael fritzl.jpg|thumb|[[Josef Fritzl]] is Bad Michael Jackson.]]
[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|right|Celebrities are more important than [[You|You]].]]
[[Image:MJ_I_Rape.jpg|thumb|right|Jackson stars in his own feature length documentary movie ''I Rape''.]]
[[Image:Creepyposter.jpg|thumb|This [[demotivator]] courtesy of Neverland Ranch.]]
[[Image:Goodshow.jpg|thumb|right|MJ's death pleases the [[Juliana Wetmore|Elephant Man]].]]
[[Image:Bubbles_gun.jpg|thumb|Bubbles' gangsta rap album]]
[[Image:Blowing_bubbles.jpg|thumb|It is a well known fact that chimps are a gateway drug to [[13-year-old boys]].]]
[[Image:Wackajackson.jpg|thumb|Wacka wacka wacka jackson]]
[[Image:Pedo bear-jackson.jpg|thumb]]

==Life At Home==

MJ originally constructed for himself the perfect [[tool]] for drawing in his preferred cuisine: an amusement park where children "never grow up" and "[[DO NOT WANT|don't want]] to go to school". It was his primary romp for years until people realized that a grown man running a theme park for children all by himself was a little [[creepy]]. Jacko closed his own pool after his rape trial, moving back to [[Whore]]lywood with the intent to rebuild his fondle-factory in Berlin. Just thinking about plump little [[Prussian Blue|blue-eyed blond-haired Nazi children]] made Jacko drool so much his lips fell off: it was that or too much plastic surgery and amazing [[gay|buttsecks]] with Macaulay Culkin whom he had [[molested|fiddled]] the hell out of for many years after his copy of "Home Alone" on VHS(a.k.a. Exhibit C) became recognizable only as the worlds most valuable container of Jacko [[spooge|spunk]].

He lived with his a myriad of prepubescent servants and his [http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/10/09/2007-10-09_michael_jackson_nanny_fighting_lupus_alo.html Nanny with lupus]. [[Poland#Tourism|He has also expressed his wish to move to Poland]] and live in a castle purchased there, although he may have been unaware that the country's demographics were not ideal, having fewer young boys than girls.

=="Thriller" or "I'm a [[pedobear|pedophile]], put me in jail"==
[[Image:Wackojacko.jpg|thumb|200px|right|This is a picture from his music video, "Thriller". Also known as one of the last times he needed makeup to look like a zombie.]]
Years before Jackson was first accused of liking kids too much, he recorded a [[WIN|HIT]] album where all his plans and intentions where clearly stated. The album was released by [[EPIC|Epic records]] (for real) but before they released the album they decided to change some of the title songs, so as to make Jackson's intentions less obvious. '''Bolded''' are the words that were deleted:
# "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' '''(With That Young Boy)'''" – 6:02
# "Baby '''(Boy)''' Be Mine" – [[Weed|4:20]]
# "The '''([[Underage]])''' Girl Is Mine" – 3:42
# "'''(Chasing After [[Loli]] [[Ass]] Sure Is a) '''Thriller" – 5:57
# "'''(I'll Show You How To)''' [[Masturbation|Beat It]]" – 4:17
# "Billie Jean: '''(An 8 Year Old Can't Be Pregnant)'''" – 4:57
# "Human Nature: '''(I'm Just God's Messenger)'''" – 4:05
# "P.Y.T. (Pretty <s>Young</s> '''Underage''' Thing) " – 3:58
# "The '''([[Loli]])''' in My Life" – 4:12

==The Elephant Man==

Jackson was also an [[Trolling IRL|IRL Troll]] and had created many "false" stories about himself, apparently to see if he could "control" the media, a plan that would unfortunately backfire on him, [[LOL WUT|such as sleeping in an oxygen chamber to prolong his life, and buying a sex toy]]. Another notable event occurred in the [[1980|Mid-1980]]'s where Michael Jackson tried to purchase the skeleton of Joseph Merrick, aka the Elephant Man. He ultimately failed to obtain the skeleton. When asked the reason for his fagging, Michael Jackson stated that "it was mostly for the [[lulz]]". [[Some argue|People suspect]] however, that it was in fact not for the lulz but for [[necrophilia|other recreational activities]].

==Movie Career==

In addition to starring in '''Moonwalker''' and hundreds of music videos, at the time of his death, Michael Jackson was in pre-production on a prequel to Hustler's popular '''Barely Legal''' series.

===Moonwalker===

A series of films, including a bunch of shotas reenacting "Bad", but the only notable part of this film is the half hour long "Smooth Criminal" video, where Michael Jackson fights Joe Pesci from Home Alone, an evil supervillian who wants to '''get kids hooked on drugs''', but even worse, '''end prayer in schools.''' Naturally MJ takes offense to this, dances around, turns into a car, dances some more, '''shoots a guy while dancing with hookers''', then rescues the kiddies. But then he disappears into the night sky. Just like E.T. The kiddies cry on a street corner.

But then MJ comes back. Just like he did in real life.

===Ghosts===

Half an hour of Michael Jackson wearing extensive makeup to look like a fat white dude who accuses Michael Jackson of being a freak who corrupts children. To which Michael Jackson dances around with ghouls. Wow. That'll convince any skeptic of your sanity.

==Bubbles==
{{quote|Now that he's dead, who's gonna blow Bubbles?|[[Anon]]}}

{{tinyquote|Bubbles is more fun than a lot of people I know. I saw Bubbles at a wedding in a tux. He has great table manners.|Quincy Jones|[[truth|defending chimpmongling]]}}

After failing to secure a [[negro|bag of bones to stick his dick into]], Jacko purchased a chimpanzee called Bubbles to stick his dick into. As is well known, chimps love nothing better than to sit around masturbating between displays of fæces hurling and Jacko thought that slipping his own dick (which was not yet white and hairless) in would be a cinch. At first it was, so Bubbles became an entourage of one, Jacko's confidante and [[BFF]], accompanying him to [[torture|recording sessions]] and music videos shoots. On the road they shared a hotel bed and Jacko's wardrobe.

Life at home was sweet for both primates, with Bubbles and Jacko sharing a bedroom at [[Gaia|Neverland]]. Bubbles was fully toilet trained and allowed to use Jacko's private crapper but was often seen sitting in a crib wearing a diaper to satisfy Jacko's [[infantilism|diaper fetish]].
Historically,bedtime at Neverland Ranch was always when the big hand touched the little hand.

Sadly, in 2003, Bubbles was kicked to the curb after his [[shota|little hand]] grew too big for the [[pedo|big hand]] -anyone watching Law & Order: SVU know that this is classic pedo behavior. Also, with the arrival of Jacko's first [[IRL]] child, Prince Michael 1, Bubbles had outlived his usefulness.

Jacko justified the breakup and dumping Bubbles on the chimp's overly aggressive love making style where Bubbles had reversed his traditional position as the '[[masochist|bottom]]' in sexual relations to being the '[[sadist|top]]'. [[TL;DR]], Bubbles was now [[buttsecks|assraping]] Jacko as opposed to Jacko assraping Bubbles.

Jacko blamed [[Prince]] [http://prince.org/msg/7/38797 claiming that] he had used [[ESP]] to turn Bubbles batshit insane saying:

{{tinyquote|"[[Jacko|What kind of sicko would mess with a monkey?]] This is the final straw. Poor, poor Bubbles."|Jacko}}

Today, Bubbles has lived at many places since his failed attempt to assassinate Prince Michael and failed attempt to [[an hero]]. He lives in an animal sanctuary where he has a new best friend, [[Assrape|Sam: A 40 Year Old Chimpanzee nicknamed Bubba. Now Bubbles will have many nights of tender tender love making, just like the old days]].

In a special by Animal Planet, sister La Toya Jackson came to visit the chimp and exchanged tearful words. Yes, she is actually talking to a monkey...

<center>
'''To a monkey'''
<youtube>e4ZRkS5GWj8</youtube>
</center>

==Early Life==

Jackson's early life was full of [[child abuse|moonbeams and happy times]]. Father, Joe Jackson, would give all Jackson children encouragement to pursue their [[pedophile|dreams]] and [[jailbait|desires]] by having hurtful buttsecks that left a deep impression on young Michael. Michael's bizarre unrelenting hatred of Steven Spielberg, going into fits of rage whenever Steven would win an Oscar, which was often, can only be explained by the fact that he was Steven's bitchboi before being passed along as a used cumbucket among the Hollywood elite.

<center>
<youtube>27w9cYOOiWc</youtube>

The Jackson family during the early days.
</center>

==Pedo Trials: Part 1 of 2==
[[Image:HomeAloneMJ.jpg|thumb|In his prime.]]
[[Image:Alien-vs-predator-michael-jackson.jpg|thumb]]
In 1993, Jacko was tried for being a [[pedo]] after a [[13-year-old boy]] called '''[[An_Hero|Jordan]] [[Chris-chan|Chandler]]''' accused him of putting the big hand on the little penis, kissing him, face-fucking him and [[fapping]] in front of him, with a detailed description of Jacko's junk. His info was so precise, he even pinpointed where the vitiligo splotches were, the length of the performer's pubes and that he was a Jew, while he was in Monaco to be given 8 more awards at the World Music Awards. Throughout the show Jacko was sitting next to the Prince of Monaco with Jordan on his lap, bouncing him on his knee whilst whispering "Rubba" into his ear. No one thought that Jacko was a sick fuck.

Jacko, being too much of a pussy to have a trial, settled the case by giving the accuser's family over 20 million dollars. [[Some argue|Some say]] that this was proof of him being guilty. Others say that he couldn't be tried because of his health (spoiler alert: he was a drug addict). Now, had this been the extent of Jacko's allegations people would have left him alone, but the damn bastard couldn't stop himself from fucking...

==Pedo Trials: Part 2 out of 2==
{{quote|Another kid? That's like another dead white woman showing up at O.J.'s house, and O.J. going 'I know what you're thinking...'|Chris Rock}}
After making a jackass of himself in a documentary, Jacko gets accused of more molestation in 2003. This was the final blow to his career. The accuser was a former cancer patient who had his [[Pwnt|spine removed]] at a young age and his final words were to Michael Jackson. His wish came true and he was told to be ready to die in a few weeks, but after he met Michael, he was saved. [[Truth|Michael Jackson sucking your cock cures cancer]].

A trial finally ensued and it ended with Jacko being found innocent, before being [[BTFO]] to Bahrain.

[[Some argue|It has been scientifically estimated]] that the next molestation by Jacko would have occured in 2013, should he have been alive by then.

[[Image:Jesusjuice.jpg|thumb|Vintage Jacko lubrication]]
[[Image:Spotted-dick.jpg|thumb|MJ's junk in a can]]
[[Image:Michael_jackson.jpg|thumb]]
<center>
{{frame|{{fv|jsb613vids|background-color: black;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>LLpABElGXb8</youtube>
|<youtube>LOmE-4IO8SY</youtube>
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|<youtube>_h1euQKJsr4</youtube>
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</center>

===Quotable===

{{quote|I believe this charity single could still generate lots of money to help those in need. Why shouldn’t it come out? Because of something I did in the past? This is an industry in which rock stars date porno queens. Adult film doesn’t have the same stigma it used to. So, really, what’s their excuse?!|F. Marc Schaffel is coming to his own defense on word that Michael Jackson’s [[911]] charity single "What More Can I Give" isn’t being released because of his porno directing past.}}

==Jacko's Kids==
Michael Jackson's kids (the ones he ''had'' as opposed those which he "had"), who are all completely white, are (obviously) [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/michael-jackson/5706071/Michael-Jackson-not-biological-father-of-his-children.html not his biological children]. In fact, the biological father is widely known to be Mark Lester, the blond-haired former child actor who played Oliver in a [[gay]] musical movie.

Looking at Lester's childhood photo, which seems to fit the image of Jackson's ideal sex partner, one need not wonder how Jacko's children were being used.

Moreover, it appears that not only did Jacko not sire even one of his children, he never formally adopted them either. This case alone is grounds to have him posthumously prosecuted for kidnapping. [http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/07/01/michael-jacksons-will-filed-in-court-neverland-memorial-unlikely/ In his will], he left custody of the kids to [[Sheneequa|Diana Ross]].

{{quote|Daddy's Clowning!|One of the kids, further proving that he loves using kids.}}

{{cg|Gallery|gallery1|center|<gallery>
Image:Mark_lester-current.jpg|Mark Lester, the kids' godfather, is the biological father.
Image:Mark_lester-1968.jpg|Mark Lester in 1968 as the title character in the fagtastic musical Oliver!
Image:Michael_jackson_south_park.jpg|Jacko and his kids.
Image:mj.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #1 aka Macaulay
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Jackson_kid-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #2
Image:Jackson_kid-2.jpg|[[Jailbait|Michael Jackson's kid #3]]
Image:Sq-michael-baby-balcony-cnn.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #4 aka [[WTF|'''Blanket''']]
Image:Jacko_and_cartman.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #5 aka [[Cartman]]
Image:Michaelomer.jpg|Papa Joe's thoughts on Michael Jackson's kid #6
</gallery>}}

==The Mask of Pedo==
On December 13th, 2008, Michael Jackson reappeared in the spotlight using an [[nice try|old trick]] from Elizabeth Taylor/Liza Minnelli to gain sympathy from his fans by faking a mental illness. This time it took the form of what could be best described as dressing up like a Bollywood version of Zorro.

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=='''This Is [[shit|It]]!''': The Comeback==
[[Image:Jacko_hulk.jpg|thumb|Jacko trains with the [[Hulk]] for his one city 'tour'.]]
{{quote|When I say this is it, it really means this is it.|Jacko, exposing himself in front of millions of horny fans|March 2009}}

In March 2009, Jacko announced that he would be playing live again for the first time in 12 years with a 50 day residence at [[Londonistan]]'s '''O2''' arena starting in July. Strapped for attention, he planned to revive his rotting career and make hueg amounts of [[Jew Gold]] to pay off his mountain of debt. He also needed fresh, young meat to feed his ravenous appetite for [[shota]]; his kids had grown so old they now revolted him so much he'd stopped getting protein from them and was so incredibly [[pro-ana|frail and underweight]] that nobody really noticed, since he always looked like that.

With a cash advance from the '''O2''' and a firm of [[jews|venture capitalists]] called '''AEG''' he set about trying to get into shape for the gruelling '''tour'''. He rented out [[LA]]'s Staples Center for full dress-rehearsals and hired [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2481286/Michael-Jackson-is-being-trained-by-Lou-Ferrigno.html the Incredible Hulk] to whip him into shape. The rehearsals were filmed and have been fashioned into a sloppy motion picture. Jacko's attention-seeking family claimed that a body double was used, but nobody gave a shit. As nobody gave a shit about the movie to begin with.

{{ytplus|Jackson Rehearsing For Surprise Comeback Performance 7/7/09|<center><youtube>mdVTbU9q0Lc</youtube></center>|Do it now before they grow up and it's too late!|[http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/ggallin/exposeyourselftokids.html Lyrics from the video rehearsal]}}
===THIS IS WIN===
It is now reported that Sony and AEG, in an attempt to cash in on Jacko's postmortem sales jump and salvage what they invested in Jacko for this tour, are going to, through the magic of editing, cobble together 80 hours of footage shot during the rehearsals of the tour to make an entirely incoherent film about Jacko's final days. The price tag of the film is reported to be at least $50 million.

==Death==

[[Image:Mjinvincible.jpg|thumb|Jacko's last studio album: [[irony|''Invincible'']]]]
[[Image:Goodnight_jacko.jpg|thumb|October 2007: /[[b]]/ called it. [[Goodnight sweet prince|Goodnight Shotacat]].]]
[[Image:HHHHHHHNNNGGGGGMJ2.JPG|thumb|right|An ironic twist to an [[HNG|old meme.]]]]
[[Image:Coincidentally.jpg|thumb|right|Anal cancer claims two more lives.]]
[[Image:DEADjacko.jpg|thumb|The cover of [[Pedophile|Jacko's]] re-release of the album ''BAD''.]]
[[Image:Michaels heart.jpg|thumb|Mj's temple of doom]]
[[Image:Chartattack.jpg|thumb|right|[[O RLY?]]]]
[[Image:MichealjacksonJackieChan.jpg|thumb|DO NOT WANT gook!!]]
[[Image:Jjj.jpg|thumb|right|OH SHIT HES BACK!]]
On Thursday, June 25th, 2009, Michael Jackson died in the act of lovemaking, having a [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]]. This is considered one of the best ways to go, preferable to rotting in an old folks home or dying of cancer. The young boy who Jackson was making love to at the time called paramedics; his name was not released. Most news agencies omitted this fact, leaving a mystery of who called paramedics when Michael Jackson was unconscious at the time. Regardless, Jacko was clearly [[I'm on my bee|not on his bee]].

The compassionate, humanitarian brain-trust /[[b]]/ was quick to exploit it with endless threads featuring the [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]] meme and Michael Jackson photoshops. His dying wish was to donate his [[cock|organ]] to a sick child (so that his [[Penis|organ]] would forever be inside a child).

[http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-dies-death-dead-cardiac-arrest TMZ] reported the initial diagnosis was that Jacko died from [[HNG|cardiac arrest]] caused by a massive cocktail of drugs including Dilaudid, Vicodin, Soma, Xanax, Zoloft, Paxil for anxiety and heartburn pill Prilosec administered by a nigger doctor. The Los Angeles coroner's office has deferred Jacko's inquest awaiting toxicology tests and to provide ample time for the media shitstorm to rage on for a week or two. Shortly thereafter, [[Jesse Jackson]] appeared on [[CNN]] calling for a full and thorough investigation of the facts and Jacko's live-in doctor (who, it was reported, had gone on the lam) suggesting that this was <big>MURDER!</big> He then called for [[OJ]] to be released from jail since he's an expert in tracking down the [[CIA|real killers]].

While it has since been confirmed that he had a heart attack in the ER, initial reports were of a stroke in the Pediatrics wing.

Meanwhile [[CNN]] reported Vanillaface moonwalked off this mortal coil. [[Fark]] reported that he had just begun work on ''Thriller 2: Electric Boogaloo!'' Though his heart is no longer beating, Disney has inspected the body and declared that the high quality plastic exterior makes him a great candidate for animatronics. The same news report told how he was planning to rekindle his popularity, but the only thing he accomplished was becoming the first [[wigger|white black person]] to die of something besides gunfire.

Because Jacko is dead, it is impossible to determine exactly how uncountably many children he sodomized at the Neverland Ranch, as well as everywhere else.

On 28 August, 2009 a Los Angeles Coroner ruled the death of Michael Jackson a [[AIDS|homo]]cide[http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/28/jackson.autopsy/index.html].
[[Image:Pedo mourn 2.png|thumb|right| [[lie|Pedobear mourns the loss.]]]]
[[Image:Pedo bearsmall.png|thumb|right| Good night. ]]

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===Reaction===
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|Keep your tickets. This is all a setup for the best performance of Thriller ever.|[[Perez Hilton]]

|Is he even biodegradable???|A bewildered [[hippy|environmentalist]]

|Michael Jackson didn't die of a heart attack, he got food poisoning from eating nine year old nuts.|MJ's coroner

|For the first time ever, we will meet our quota on carbon-emissions for the Kyoto Protocol, thanks to his brave sacrifice.|Barack Obama

|You can't throw him away or cremate him as that would contribute to global warming.The best thing to do is recycle his body for the future use of Joan Rivers.|Fox News

|Run, cherubs, run!|God

|Thursday June 25th 2009: Dear Diary, today I got a new roommate...|[[Heath Ledger]]

|WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!|[[Alex Jones|Micheal Jackson death denier]]

|He just went for Baby Jesus|Grief-stricken /[[b]]/tard

|I think [[Chimpmongler]] is a [[pretty cool guy]]. eh diddles shota and doesn't afraid of [[Chris Hansen]]|[[anon]]

|Basketball will never be the same again |/b/tard

|Why must I cry?!?!|rehdogg

|This article is bad and ED should feel bad.|[[User:faggot|StarCadet]]

|Michael you left such a legacy on this earth, have touched SO MANY!!!|Kelly Rowland
|}}
</center>

The Jews being the two-faced, money grubbing scum that they are, suddenly had newfound respect for Jacko. It turns out after [[Lulz|making many cruel jokes at his expense, stealing as much of his money as they could, and publicly humiliating him]], [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|they decided to just sweep all the nasty things they said under a rug and act like it never happened]]. As overwrought outpourings of unconditional love for the Gloved One rained down upon the masses from all and sundry, [[b|/b/]] remained the sole voice of reason in the tragedy, celebrating this living embodiment of [[Shotacat]]'s life and death, creating [[meme]]s in their indomitable style. Meanwhile, faggotry reigned the day on the likes of [[Shitter]], [[YouTube]], [[Facebook]] and blog after blog after blog.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten how [[shocked & appalled]] they were back when Jacko was on trial for molesting [[shota]]. People posted tributes and childhood memories, songs and vidyas of how important '''The King of Pop''' had been in their lives and how he'd provided the soundtrack to the indiscretions of youth; that first mugging (Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'), that first [[fap]] (Beat It), that first child molestation (Pretty Young Thing).

It's almost as if they could maybe one day overlook the [[Holocaust]] and give another [[Hitler|tortured artist with issues]] the props he surely deserved for being an inspiring leader, brilliant economist, terrific orator, a non-smoking [[dogmongler|animal lover]] with a keen eye for graphic design and style who also got the trains to run on time.

MJ cockmonglers have responded by locking themselves in cupboards, self-mutilation, Jacko tattoos, and [[Baww|BAWWWWWing]] about how the world is a cruel and violent place, subsequently expressing the desire to assault people who don't think or act as they demand. Scientists have concluded that the universe does not revolve around these [[asspies]].

[[Billy Mays]], who was also 50 years old, responded three days later with [[:Image:Billy Mays Last Words.jpg|his own drug-induced heart attack.]] Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in another for free.

You can [[Rape|help]] out the tremulous Jacko pirates by sacking their tree house of precious, underaged booty:

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<youtube>8_XWbQZgbPs</youtube>

'''[[Psychopath|Some people]] were glad he died'''
</center>

The phrase "Fuck that nigger Michael Jackson" was said a total of 9 times during the above movie.
[http://www.mjfanclub.net/mjforum373/index.php '''The Well of Untapped Lulz ''']:

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{{morphquote|mqtest5|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;

|I was stuck on register on Friday. The customers ask "so how are you today?" I just wanted to punch every single one.|Jacko fanboy on pacifism

|I am having the worst time at work. These people that I thought of like family are stabbing me in the back. My boss, who I followed from another job,and a co-worker whom I never suspected could be so cruel, basically told me that my grief was irrelevent compaired to what other people go though and that I had no right to be upset because I didn't know him personally. How dare they invalidate how I'm feeling!?|Jacko fanboy on narcissism

|God I've just started crying all over again more than I ever had. I dunno what to do with myself I don't seem to be bothered about anything. Yesterday I had a thought that I wouldn't care if I was to die cos I'd be with Michael. I can't get over this I'm so depressed and confused. Every where I turn there's something Michael related. I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying for the rest of my life but I've read enough books that always give the message that if someone dies you need to try and move on with your life but I can't|Jacko fanboy on being a hedgehog

|I just don't know how I can go on living without the love of my life. Michael was everything to me. I just feel so numb and sick. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. It just feels like I'm stuck in a sick and twisted nightmare that I can't wake from. My whole world has just collapsed. I need someone to talk to.|Jacko fanboy on being ronery

|There was a parade in San Francisco, which I did not go to because I probably would have kick somebody being surrounded by pesudo fans. I'm past the sad grieving phase of my despair its now just anger. I hate how everyone is suddenly a "fan" of his once he dies, now everybody wants all his CDs, how everybody realizes what a musical genius he was. What about those who have been there since DAY ONE? I guess it's better than people being hateful but...UGH....they're all so FAKE. They didn't love him. I can't even stand to listen to them speak his name because they're all unworthy, just because you used to listen to Thriller when you were 4 doesnt make you a fan. Apart from this site I can't listen to anybody talk about him, I couldnt even finishing reading LMP's statement...Not everyone is a fake but...UGH, I dunno....|Jacko fanboy on elitism
|}}
</center>

Ozfags were particularly [[butthurt]] and authorities had to set up a [[self-pwn]] hotline after reports surfaced of [http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25712012-5019114,00.html numerous faggots committing suicide].

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==Trolling==
{{quote| I wish Bill Cosby or some other [[Black Jesus|'beloved' celeb]] would [[Win|die]] so we could get a break from all this Wacko Jacko coverage. Wait...[[No|is Bill Cosby alive?]]|Facebook post - [[Billy Mays|be careful what you wish for]]}}

[[Image:Trolling facebook.png|thumb|[[Godwin's Law|For the (God)win!]]]]
[[Image:Headline.jpg|thumb|right|[[Typical]] British headline.]]
In the meantime, you can help by trolling people on the Internets with mock outrage at all this praise for Jacko and comparing him to Hitler. Go to someone's virtual [[Facebook]] shrine and leave comments to ''their'' comments feigning disgust that someone would sweep Jacko's [[shota|crimes against humanity]] under the rug. Tell them they probably spent his pedo trial damning him to Hell and if not, ask them if they would let their kids sleep over at [[basement|Neverland]] or hang out with [[Josef Fritzl|Uncle Josef]]. Tell them that Hitler was a brilliant motivational speaker and a seriously snappy dresser.

Most people won't take the bait because they know it's true: Jacko was a [[sick fuck]]. But some will puff up their e-chests and rise to his defense: this is when you accuse them of hypocrisy and double standards. Ask why they hate children so much and how come molestation is okay when the perpetrator is a celebrity. If they [[BAW|BAAAAAW]] that you're out of line, admit that yes, you're sorry, comparing Jacko to Hitler is a terrible insult to Hitler.

Another effective trolling technique is to liberally apply mock outrage at both the fact that he is to be memorialized and that the huge tribute is to be paid for by your hard-earned tax dollars. Since the [[Arnold|State of Collyfornia]] is now [[bailout plan|bankrupt and issuing IOUs to pay for most services]] this adds [[flame|fuel to the fire]]. It has been estimated that police overtime needed for security at the memorial in downtown LA will cost $2,000,000 alone and ''[[you]]'' are going to be paying for it.

Comments such as:

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{{morphquote|mqtest6|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;
|I don't get it. Why don't they dig up [[Jeffrey Dahmer]] and throw ''him'' a party. Hell, let's give Saddam Hussein a party; he had [[Basement|rape rooms]] too!|troll
|Yeah. Fritzl too. At least [[Josef Fritzl]] raped his own children.|troll bait
|Hey did Mike fuck your wife or something? You sounding like its personal.|[[butthurt]] Jacko fanboy
|My wife wasn't his type...she was female and older than 12.|[[OP]]
|LA can't even afford to hire any new cops or fire fighters and they're going to pay for a party to honor a pedophile? I for one will not be paying my taxes this year.|troll
|Yes Michael Jackson, make that scream ("AHEE-HEE!") while I rape your asshole and jack you off. Your rectum becomes swollen and starts bleeding you little cumslut. Then I slit your throat, lick your blood, and rape your throat hole while you ejaculate in ecstasy. I ram my fork in your eye and force you to eat it while you weep for mercy. I pour Girugamesh into your eye sockets, and inject you with pure, liquid Gaymen, so that you feel the agony for all eternity. Now that was only the warm up round. Now I begin to insert a mace-like needle, grafted from the claws of Cthulu, that has been laid on the surface of lava from Mount Doom into your urethra. Michael Jackson has gone into Terry Schiavo mode. He has to live out the rest of eternity in agony without the privilege of resisting his maker. Your friends and family can't save you Michael. I've thrown them into the Great Pit of Carkoon; where they shall be slowly digested in the Sarlacc's belly for over a thousand years.|The Bruce Campbell of Trolling Copypasta
|}}
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===[[Trolling IRL]]===
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<youtube>THVbb09pyD4</youtube>
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{{quote|Let's knock out the [[harbl|psychobabble]]. He was a pervert, a child molester, a pedophile. What does giving this much coverage to him say about us as a country? I just think we're too politically correct.|[http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/06/new-york-congressman-blasts-jackson-pervert-low-life/ Rep. Peter King (R) New York]}}

===Trolling YouTube Comments===
<center>'''''See video comments'''''</center>
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{{cg|Le Jaque Waquette|jackowackomocklogallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Jackson dead.jpg
Image:Hurk.JPG
Image:MJ_dying_turn_you_on.jpg
Image:mj_csi.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Mj_king_of_b.jpg|LOL black person can't be kings!
Image:BlackWhiteBlue.jpg
Image:RIP MJ June25th 09.JPG
Image:Goodnight-thread.png|[[B|/b/]] can predict the future...[[goodnight sweet prince]]!
Image:Leave MJ alone.jpg|We need to leave the pedo faggot nigger zombie alone.
Image:Jackson 4 returning.jpg|Did you know the Jackson FOUR are getting back together?
Image:Popicon.jpg|Jacko was a pop icon.
Image:Pedobear mourning.png|[[Pedobear|I'll keep his legacy alive!]]
</gallery>}}

==[[Perez Hilton]], first responder==

As news of Jacko's death reached [[Perez Hilton]], Perez set about what Perez does best: showing that, as gay as he gets, he can always get even gayer. He made a blog post claiming that Jacko was just faking it to get out of contractual obligations. This caused abundant butthurt and threats of violence so Hilton tried to backtrack and apologise for the fag-on-fag violence. This wasn't enough for some misguided, gay anons who called for a raid on Hilton (see: [[Talk:Michael Jackson]]). A fallout from this gay Operation Thriller faggotry is expected and leading expert [[tfo]] will bring you news when it happens.

[[Image:Michaeladvison.jpg|thumb|right|Michael Jackson plays a large role in the ''Half-Life'' series, known as the Michael Advison.]]

[[Image:Jacksonhollowmansequel.jpg|thumb|right|In 2009, Michael Jackson set out to create a new image, this time of a movie star. His breakthrough role was in a low-budget sequel to a popular horror film.]]

[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|ACCESS DENIED LOL =[]]

[[Image:Perez hilton mariofailsitlols.jpg|center|1000px]]

==[[Conspiracy Theories]]==
[[Image:Mj glove.jpg|thumb|right|[[Domestic_violence|Does the King of Pop need to smack a bitch?]]]]

===Pepsi did it===
PepsiCo. tried but failed to defoliate Jacko's [[Don Imus|nappy head]] with napalm [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZnUI8tfKjg during the filming of a Pepsi commercial] in the '[[80s]], so Jacko turned to the painkillers which would eventually be similar to the drugs rumored to cause his death. Additionally, when the contract ended with him, Pepsi's stock market fell for a while, ergo, Pepsi did it.

===Rock Band did it===
''Rock Band Unplugged'' had the song "ABC" by The Jackson 5 on it. Michael Jackson was 11 when the song was released. 11 days after the release of the game, he died.

===[http://www.adl.org/PresRele/ASUS_12/2460_12.asp Jews did it]===
{{quote|Michael Jackson has an anti-Semitic streak and hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. It seems every time he has a problem in his life, he blames it on the Jews.|[[ADL]]}}
[[Image:Michael-jackson-the-muslim-perv.jpg|thumb|Abu Joe trollin Jews]]
[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Holding_Israel_Flag.jpg|thumb|Jacko surrenders to [http://www.yoyenta.com/?p=1035 appease the Jews]]]
To get back at [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/856313/posts Michael Jackson putting a "Voodoo curse" on Supreme Jewish Leader Steven Spielberg], a day before his [[death]], upon entrance into an [[IRC]] channel, a Jew compulsively typed in "ah Michael Jackson, ah what?" Given the fact that this Jew has tha [[OCD]], he has [[DBZ|special powers]], using which he placed a curse on Jacko and [[pwnt|killed]] him.

[[Thatkidparker|Some people]] do believe that Jews did Michael Jackson, and not just because [http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKTRE55P0Q520090626 he owed] them [[jew gold]] or placed a curse. Their reasoning goes as follows:
[[Image:Michael-Jackson-and-Adolf-Hitler.jpeg|thumb|Michael Achtung]]
::1. Jewish monetary perverts drool at the billions accumulated by MJ. They say [[hello|shalom]] and try to invite themselves to dinner, but Jacko says "[[GTFO]]."
::2. In addition, Jews at the [[Mossad]] want to insert [[memes]] into his lyrics so that they can sell more dope to the listeners. MJ says "[[gb2]]hell."
::3. Jews insert bait children into his life. Indeed, some of the children's families were [[BFF]] with their Jewish attorneys.
::4. Jacko smells trouble, and responds with lyrics. Jewish lawyers made him change them. The song is accompanied by creepy music that gives you visions of Jewish shark lawyers trying to [[banhammer]] you for good. The unedited version of one of his lyrics went as follows ([[srsly]]):

::::''Jew really fucked''
::::''Jew thought he really got control of me''
::::''Jew out there,''
::::''Jew really wants to get me''
::::''Kick me''
::::'''''Kike me'''''
::::''Use me''
::::''[[Pedo|Abuse]] me''
::::''Sue me''
::::'''''Jew me'''''
::::''Take control of me''

::5. Jews never find anything funny if it is at their own expense so proceeded to banhammer him. They fail at the banhammer but succeed in putting him out of commission.

A related theory is that the music biz did Jacko for revenge. His last studio album [[irony|''Invincible'']] in 2002 had tanked and Jacko had gotten into a [[butthurt|heated dispute]] with his label Sony and leveraged himself out of his contract after accusing them of failing to spend sufficient [[jew golds]] marketing and promoting him. Of course this had absolutely nothing to do with his refusal to go on tour in support of the record. Jacko and the head of the label went toe-to-toe in the media and Jackson alleged the label head was a [[white|"devil" and a "racist"]] who did not support black artists and used them solely for [[profit]]. He charged that the label chief had called his pal Irv Gotti a "fat nigger."

===[http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2009/06/23/sanford-disappears-to-hike-appalachian-trail-on-naked-hiking-day/ Mark Sanford] did it===
After getting busted for going AWOL from his day job as the Governor of South Carolina, [[Republicunt]] "family values" fanboy [[Mark Sanford]] (described by [[Stephen Colbert]] as "incredibly boring ... a manila envelope glued to a beige wall... a walking, talking [[Sleep sex|Ambien]]") admitted he was off in Buenos Aires having an extramarital affair with a moderately attractive [[Argentinian]] chica and not on a surprise solo hike on the Appalachian Trail (on Naked Hiking Day). Naturally, the old media went batshit crazy and had a field day at the Governor's expense and were set to drag all the skeletons from Sanford's suddenly interesting closet.

However, on the eve of blowing the lid off the secret lovers' steamy emails and such, Michael Jackson suddenly dropped dead. With a shot at being the [[GOP]]'s [[2012]] presidential candidate on the line, things were not looking good for the aging Lothario... until the spotlight shifted. Coincidence? You be the judge.

===[[Iran]] did it===

Following the hotly desputed re-election of [[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]], Iranians [[protest]]ed the results as the vote was the one shred of [[freedom]] they thought they still had. They even went as far as condemning the Supreme Leader which is apparently a big no-no. The American and other Western news media would closely observe this butthurt throughout the following weeks.

Fearing that continual coverage of the protests would weaken the [[Islamic]] leadership, they needed something seriously ''[[Epic]]'' to divert Western attention, which was Jackson's record producer.

===AEG Insurance Scam?===

[http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?p=1654#comments/ TMZ] reports that AEG, who funded the Jacko "This is It" tour, paid for a hefty insurance policy from Loyds of London covering, among all things, drug overdose.

===Farrah Fawcett did it?===

It is no coincidence that Farrah Fawcett and Jacko died on the same day. Reports state that earlier that day, on her deathbed Farrah's last dying wish was for all the children in the world to be safe. So God answered and killed Michael Jackson. The difference between Farrah and Jacko is that one screwed Majors, whereas the other screwed minors.

===Doctor Did It===

It is possible that his doctor Conrad Murray is responsible for drugging Jacko to death as the Coroner has requested all his files, as well as the LAPD, Los Angeles Country Sheriff, and now the DEA and FBI, because this will not be the same without the [[Party Van]]. They all want to know how this doctor got his hands on an IV-administered drug only available at hospitals.

===Illuminati Did Michael Jackson===
The [[Illuminati]] was infuriated when they learnt that Jacko was going to reveal the truth about the Illuminati's conspiracy to take over the world and reduce the world population by 90% in his next concert. They had their eyes on him ever since he created this non-satanic song which has a somewhat empowering effect, which is exactly the opposite of what the Illuminati wants (since everyone in the music industry must submit to [[Satan]] in order to get anywhere).

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===Jews, Jealous of Allah, did Michael Jackson ([[Copypasta]])===

Not surprisingly, this particular theory holds considerable sway in the [[Middle East]]. The synopsis goes as follows: Jacko had converted to Islam in the Middle East and intended to do a final farewell concert, encouraging his fans to do the same. Jews got wind of his intentions, and since he did not pass through any long tunnels where they could [[accident]]ize him like Diana when she got pregnant with an Arab, they had to kill him by injection. Jews unsurprisingly wanted him to continue pushing Diet Pepsi to the Americunts instead of [[Allah]].

{{quote3|
Michael Jackson (MJ) was known as the most loving person in the world. He gave up most of his assets for charity and all his life, he fought for equality of the African Americans, AIDS victims, Against Drug Abuse, Against Abortion, Against Child Labor and secretly channelled his properties for the hungry children of the world. However, he wasn't peace at heart. He always think of himself as a child trapped inside a man's body. Being Peter Pan is all his dream, never to grow up, forever a child. That inspires him to build Neverland - a heaven for children. Children of all ages and races are welcomed to Neverland. MJ had so much love to give.

However, he made a mistake which he didn't know of the consequences. He saw the peaceful life his brother, Jermaine (Muhammad Abdul Aziz) had as a Muslim - true, Jermaine faced so much pressure that he moved to Bahrain.

In 1989, MJ made a press conference which shocked the world, "I have seen the Islam in the life of my brother, I have read the books about Islam. And I'd love to someday feel the calmness and peace of Islam...."

Since that, MJ's life was never the same again.
He was accused of so many accusations against child molestation. MJ was not someone who can deal with much pressure as he is a 'delicate child'. All the extortion and black mail followed after that. Everything he did was being seen as wrong in the eyes of the Media. All these are to influence his fans to hate MJ. If he is hated, then he would not be influencial anymore.

For several years, he stayed in England. Getting motivation from a long time friend, Cat Stevens, who had converted into Islam - named Yusuf Islam. From him, MJ learnt how Yusuf had survived being Muslim. He made friends with a song writer, Zain Bhikha too, who wrote a song titled, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH", which he wanted MJ to sing whenever he is ready.

Following his trial, MJ withdrew to Bahrain, where he was the special guest of sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the son of Bahrain's king. It was then that Michael began to give conversion more "serious thought." MJ stayed in Bahrain for approximately 3 years. He studied Islam, the prayers and learn to read the Quran.

Finally, he came back to Los Angeles and in November 2008 MJ had formally converted to Islam in a ceremony at a close friend's house in Los Angeles. He perform Haj with the King of Bahrain and son on December 2008.

He had a hidden agenda when he wanted to make a final comeback. He annouced in a press conference on March 2009, "This will be my final concert. I'll see you all in July...."

He planned that during his concert, he would announce that this is the FINAL concert as he wouldn't be performing anymore. He will declare that he is a Muslim and will only sing with Yusuf Islam and Friends.
At the end of the concert, he will be singing the song, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH" with Yusuf Islam. That is the reason why he chose London as his final concert venue instead of the USA. It was because he thought he could escape the USA's extortion, and that he could perform with yusuf Islam who is in England.

At 12.30am, 25th June 2009, he hugged his production manager and said, "After reherasing for 2 months, I am finally ready for the concert..." Before leaving to sleep, he waved his dancers, "It was a good night everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow..." The next thing... He was pronouced dead at 2.26am.....

When 911 was called, there are so much questions asked. It is as if they didn't know who MJ is and where he lived. The questions asked are more towards to delay time. The hospital said the autopsy result can only be obtained after 2 months - very illog ical as even the worst African technology could obtain the result in less than 2 weeks.

MJ's family members opt for second private autopsy as they started to feel something fishy is going on. The result came out in about 4 days - MJ was drugged with high dosage of anaesthetic - drug that brings about a reversible loss of consciousness, if used to much could stop the heart from beating.

Another result which was not aired in the media was, MJ's stomach is empty of this drug, but his blood were filled with it - same case as the death of Marilyn Monroe. The private doctors also found many needle marks, afraid to be forced injections given to MJ on his bed.

In CNN Live after a week, Barack Obama was interviewed. And he said, "I love MJ, I grew up listening to his songs.. It is a great loss, but rest assured that there is no conspiracy in his death..."
Now, why must a President made such statement before the official autopsy result came out? How would he know that there is no conspiracy without the post-mortem result? Seems like someone is afraid of his shadows..

MJ was known to the world as a person who is against drug abuse. Why must he be addicted to drug, then? If he wanted to commit suicide, why rehearse for his concert? And why will he want to see his dancers the next day?

Enough about his death. I am sure people around the world is not stupid anymore. These supreme power can fool us during the Marilyn Monroe conspiracy, Martin Luther King and Princess Diana. But in this MJ's case, they left too many loopholes for those who think...!!

MJ's family was about to give him a Muslim burial with the help of The Brotherhood of Islam. But, the CIA showed up at Neverland's door - blackmailed them that if they do so publicly, Katherine (MJ's mother) would be pull off from MJ's 3 children's custody as well as MJ's estates. Instead, they'll hire Debbie Rowe for the purpose, and the court will be in their favour. So much for democracy and fairness....

Finally, they agreed to let MJ have a Muslim Burial in Neverland. But in condition, must show to the public a Christian Memorial Service, as to prove to the world that MJ was never a Muslim.

So, Staples Centre was just a normal show. That's why the coffin was closed and sealed.

MJ was buried days earlier. The Gold Coffin was empty. They were about to bury the Coffin according to Christianity ways in Hollywood - as in their deal with the USA Government.

These happened, because the USA is afraid of the rising numbers of Muslims in the world.

(Sheikh Ha**d)
The Brotherhood of Islam
Buletin of Bahrain

}}

===Castrati===

Michael Jackson's voice never broke. He never broke into falsetto to reach those notes, he could just hit them without effort. All of his brothers are big lantern-jawed men, but he even before all the surgery never looked older than 11. Why?

Because the Jackson 5 was a money machine, and it all depended on Jacko's voice. Joe Jackson is not a nice man, and never was. He did not take Michael to Mexico for an operation to ensure that that voice would remain angelic. He got good and drunk drunk and did the deed himself, with the boot.

This [[fact]] explains pretty much everything, the kids in the bed, the dance stuff where he'd touch himself like a woman. That's why the sexy dance moves in the "Thriller" video are so unconvincing and just wrong. Go watch it: it's obvious that this man has never actually fucked. He never put his dick in any of those kids because he was physically incapable of it. This is not to say that what he did wasn't sexually molesting the kids, just that it was quite a bit creepier than the paedophile rape everyone thinks it was.

In short: Jacko's dad kicked him in the balls, as a child, to cripple him and keep his voice sweet.

==Funeral==

[[Image:Paris-Michael-Katherine_Jackson_Memorial_OscarOscar.jpg|thumb|Paris Jackson, Michael Jackson's only daughter, accepts an Oscar for her stellar performance at the memorial ceremony.]]

[[Image:Jacklelz.jpg|thumb|LOL vandalism is pointless on this page or anywhere else on ED.]]

Jacko had a [[LOL|gala]] [[BAWWWW|public memorial service]] at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Jackson did not appear from the dead and deliver a true-to-life rendition of "Thriller", much to the chagrin of most of the audience. [[Paris_Hilton|Paris-Michael Katherine]] did, however, deliver a "heart-felt" speech at the end about how [[O RLY|great a father Jacko was]], and how they will lose their $1000/week allowances. It is not known who coaxed her into making said statements, as everyone knows Jacko's fatherhood suffered a brutal [[death]] after falling three stories off a balcony.

The hapless losers who invested $400 million for Jacko's comeback tour (who also own the Staples Center) gave out 11,000 free tickets to the public instead of selling them at a high markup. After burning $400 mil on a [[fail|now canceled due to death]] tour, why not just lose more money?

During the faggy memorial service, Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson took the stage, the latter having appeared in the music video ''[[Shit nobody cares about|Remember the Time (I Raped You)]]''. After everyone watching asked themselves why the fuck they are there, Magic Johnson went on to recount a tender moment he shared with Wacko Jacko:

'''LAWDY MICHAEL, IS DAT SUM [[Chikins|CHIKKINZ]]?'''
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During the service various speakers all lauded the strangeness that was Michael Jackson, spouting tall tales such as crediting Wacko Jacko with the election of [[Barack Obama]] as [[President]] (not that there aren't similarities).

It was reported that the Jacko family first opted for [[kill it with fire|cremation]], but it was discovered after years of plastic surgery and various chemical treatments to his skin that his body is now fireproof. NASA has approached Joe Jacko in the hope of getting corpse samples to use in research on new heat shields for space vehicles.

It has been reported that Jacko has finally been buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, instead of doing the right thing and donating his body to [[soyence]].

==Autopsy==
[[image:Jacko_SOPA.jpg|thumb|right|Is it really Piracy that's hurting the industry?]]
Initial autopsy results were inconclusive but reports from the Los Angeles Country Medical Examiner's office do showed that Jackson's body was 35% plastic and other recycled materials. After the rest of Jack's chassis had been released for embalming and burial subsequent autopsy and toxicology tests were done on Jackson's brain. On August 24th, 2009, the final results [http://www.wbaltv.com/entertainment/20535026/detail.html?treets=bal&tml=bal_natlbreak&ts=T&tmi=bal_natlbreak_1_02580108242009 were leaked] revealing the obvious: Jacko had died of a massive drug overdose and although he'd done the world a favour, Jacko's personal physician was accused of [[OJ Simpson|'''MURDER!!!''']]

The doctor, cardiologist Conrad Murray, had been treating Jackson for insomnia for about six weeks with a buttload of the hospital-grade anaesthetic Diprovan every night via the tip of his penis. Murray said he feared Jackson was becoming addicted to the anesthetic, which is supposed to be used only in hospitals and other advanced medical settings, so he had lowered the dose and threw in the sedatives Valium and midazolam.

According to court records Murray said he resisted a tired Jacko's incessant whining for Diprovan (which he referred to as "his milk") fearful that the pop star had developed a dangerous addiction to the drug. Instead, Murray administered the sedatives Valium, lorazepam and midazolam five times over six hours, which didn't work and Jacko continued to demand his "[[cum|milk]]". Jacko stopped breathing about 10 minutes after Dr. Death relented and finally gave in to his patient's demands.

==Michael Jackson Lives==

Don't believe Ondor's lies. We brought him back, we had the technology!
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[[Image:Lolmj.png|thumb|right|The King of Pop at his last performance.]]

==[[Bel-Air]]==

[[Image:Micahel jackson brb.jpg|thumb|right|]]

This is the story all about how 
My pulse got flipped turned upside down, 
Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, 
I'll tell you how I had cardiac arrest in Bel Air. 

In Gary, Indiana born and raised, 
In the plastic surgeon room is where I spent most of my days, 
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxing all cool, 
and sittin' in a van outside of a school 

When a couple of parents said I was up to no good, 
said I was molesting their kids in the neighborhood. 
I got in one little incident, and the police got scared 
and said "You movin' with your Blanket and children in Bel-Air" 

I said I'll do a big concert tour, and when it came near 
I needed a trainer - my body stress load was severe. 
One morning that I woke up and suddenly felt pain, 
I said "Nah forget it, YO HOLMES LET'S TRAIN!" 

The very next day, 'round 11 or 12, 
blood stopped rushing to my heart valve. 
I collapsed on the floor, and to rejoicing of haters 
I yelled to the world "yo holmes smell ya later" 

Slipped into a coma and I was finally there, 
dead of cardiac arrest at my home in Bel-Air. 

===Bel Air Ver. 2===
This is a story all about how my [[HNG|HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNGH]]!!!

==Legacy==
His legacy continues in every shitty rerelease of his music, his family, and Pedobear. Also this guy

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==Death: The Ultimate PR==

Before Jacko's death, no one gave a shit about him and his music. Only because it isn't even good enought to suck monkey cock. To everyone including his own family, he was a [[Loser|washed-up pop star]], with plastic skin and a fake nose. LaToya (Michael's evil twin brother) publicly accused Jacko of being a pervert on Geraldo Rivera's talk show in the 1990's. [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocrite Now he is an infallible pop music legend and his music is hotter than ever.] Use this to your advantage and [[profit|profit]] off his corpse while you still can!

Now with Jacko dead, the Jacksoff family is missing their primary cash cow. As with Elvis before him, it is time to plaster his plastic surgery ravaged face on anything and everything, in order to squeeze the last remaining jewgold in him. First came two video games, one being the ''Michael Jackson Experience'', a Wii dance game.

The most ambitious project is Planet Michael, a HUEG MMO set within Jacko's World based on his music videos and career. It is not known is players can enter the game as such characters as, Plastic Suregon, Private Doctor, Neverland Maid, Monkey Wrangler, Coffee Enema Administer, Anal Tampon Inserter, Personal Doctor Shopper and the best of all a 12 year old boy.

If this game becomes reality, there is much potential for [[trolling]]. As a consequence, the Patriotic Nigras will probably [[butthurt|shut the servers down within 30 minutes of opening]].

===Fun things to do===

*Go the Neverland as a 12 year old boy.

*Ask when bed time is, when the little had touches the big hand.

*Find Bubbles and give him a spanking.

*Close the pool because it has Aids.

*Raid Neverland, swarm the sim with characters all dressed as police, start asking where the CP is.

[[File:Michaeljacksonepstein .png|250px|thumb|Wacko Jacko posing with [[Epstein|his best friend]].]]
==2026==
A biopic film about his life titled ''Michael'' has been a [[fail|smash hit]]; this and a recently uncovered picture of him hanging with [[Jeffrey Epstein]] have somewhat revived his career and the discussion about it. Most will still call him a pedophile, but others have taken the "heartwarming" acting from Michael's own nephew, Jaafar Jackson, as an argument how he was never actually a pedophile, and is a [[pretty cool guy]] all along.

==Gallery==


{{cg||mjlulzgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Jackson behind tree.jpg|Peekaboo!
Image:MJAWSUM.jpg
Image:Jjj.jpg|OH SHIT HES BACK!
Image:Wacofaggot.jpg|For all the fans
Image:Mjprop8.jpg|Michael Jackson is against [[prop 8|Proposition 8]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Gollum.jpg|Yet another one of Jackson's plastic surgeries.
Image:Jackson_combo.png|A [[combofag|combofag's]] tribute.
File:DoucheyCulkin.jpg|Michael Jackson's penis is responsible for this beard.
Image:Mj_csi.jpg
Image:Peppermentpatti3.jpg|Michael Jackson's YouTube alter-ego, [[PeppermintPatti]].
Image:Freak.jpg|<s>Michael Jackson in the future.</s> Nevermind, he's dead.
Image:de-coca.jpg|The King is dead, long live Pepsi.
Image:Childloveright.jpg|Michael Jackson's beliefs.
Image:Dat ass mj.jpg|MOAR LIEK "[[Dat Ass|Dat LITTLE BOY'S Ass]] [[amirite]]?
Image:Banksy_Fairytalecottage.jpg|Luring children to his gingerbread house.
Image:Naraku & Kohaku.jpg|An [[anime]] Jackson.
Image:Jacksonbabyoutback.jpg|Michael Jackson feeds [[A Dog|the dogs]].
Image:Sneddon.gif|Tom Sneddon, Wacko Jacko [[EPIN]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbqwWLXxWR8]
Image:MJOJlol.jpg|Michael Jackson on his getaway tricycle.
Image:Dancer zombie..png|His future career plans.
Image:Deadjacko1.jpg
Image:PrinceandParisholdinghands.jpg|His son Prince, an obvious troll.
Image:Michael_pokemon_fight.jpg‎|Too bad he didn't have full heal..
Image:Michael jackson versus michael jackson.jpg|Proof Michael has a [[Dolly|clone]].
Image:Sega-genesis-michael-jackson-moonwalker.jpg
Image:Michael jackson spacechannel 5.jpg|MJ about to get some space [[loli]].
Image:Michael-Jackson.gif|He Tried, He Failed.
Image:Jacko_burka.jpg|Picture of [[Pedophile|Jacko]] and its first [[Loli|prey]] in the name of [[Allah|Allah]].
Image:Michael_DeLorenzo-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's illegitimate son.
image:uglybish.jpg|MJ's younger brother.
Image:Elephant man.jpg|"The Elephant Man, after Jackson took his bones."
Image:Nintendo-punch-out-michael-jackson-1.jpg
Image:michael-jackson-mugshot.jpg|remember sex monsters look no different from you and I
Image:Jacksonfurfag.jpg|Michael was also a closet [[furfag]].
Image:Michael-jackson-death-photo-ET.jpg|Who's dead?!
Image:Michael-Jackson-OK-cover.jpg
Image:Michael Jackson killer revealed.png|The prophecy.
Image:KFC_Michael_Jackson_APPROVES.jpg
Image:Jacksons shota commission.jpg|Michael Jackson's commissioned [[shotacon]].
Image:DeceasedMichaelJackson dontsueplz.jpg|Goodnight sweet prince
Image:Jackoappears.png|[[A challenger appears]].
Image:Michael_Jackson_-_Face_Mask.jpg
File:Michael Jackson drinking vodka with two dwarves.png
File:MJ.aids.album.jpg
File:Jackson Calm Down.jpg
File:MJ Clown.jpg
File:Celebrity-1-michael-jackson.jpg
File:I,Rape2.jpg
File:Goodnight jacko1.jpg
</gallery>|}}

==External Links==
[[Image:Mjapproves1.jpg|thumb]]
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJackson|Michael Jackson's Official YouTube (still active)}}
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJacksonsPenis|Micheal Jackson's Official 2nd YouTube Profile}}
* [http://mjackson.freevar.com/ Stupid ass MJ website with forum to spam and make fun of] - Website went belly up.
* [http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Cheeto-That-Foretold-Michael-Jacksons-Future_W0QQitemZ290327044439QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398d72157&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 The Cheeto That Foretold Michael Jacksons Future] Amongst the [[crapflood]] of Jacko memorabilia available on eBay. Dead link, no archives.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090629191833/http://cgi.ebay.com/Hot-cheetos-Michael-Jackson-Moonwalk-Thriller-Fun_W0QQitemZ290325355042QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398bd5a22&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A0%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 Michael Jackson Moonwalk Cheeto.]
* [http://www.michaeljacksondeath.net First site up within minutes of his death, goodjob.]
* [http://comments.deviantart.com/2/84273/1106426757 First person to PURELY FUCKING OWN HIM after death.]
* [http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html The History of Michael Jackson's face.]
* [http://www.forartist.com/forensic/modification/mj/jackson.htm Computer generated image of how Jacko would look if he never had plastic surgery.]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakira_discography Another person who bleached their skin. Compare the earliest album to the later ones.]
* [http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/mj-credit-card/ Pranksters pull a fast one - one pretends to be MJ and vomits all over the window of a Victoria's Secret.]
*[http://williambader.com/mj.html '''Michael Jackson jokes''']
* [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7816771/ Memories]
* [http://jackobubbles.ytmnd.com/ Jacko's Morning routine]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5KmXleS1wg&feature=related Rapper's Jacko diss set to ''South Park'' clips.]
* [http://www.nicenetruth.com/home/2009/06/flashback-2003-michael-jackson-paid-150k-for-voodoo-curse-on-spielberg-geffen.html?cid=6a00e54f0bd8738834011570944f5b970c Michael Jackson once paid to have a voodoo curse put on Steven Spielberg for not casting him in the movie Hook as <s>pedo</s> Peter Pan, Jackson's demise once and for all proves that Jews > Voodoo]
* [[Love_Shy#Advanced_2|Facial feminization surgery guinea pig]]

===Sites approved by Michael Jackson, '''not directly related'''===
*[http://www.nvhentai.com Wacko Jacko's secret stash!]
*[http://doujinland.com/ Doujinland.com] - Sure to contain '''lots and lots''' of [[sick fuck|sick fuckery]].
*[http://www.notfourchan.net not4chan]

{{portals|music|gay|youtube|trolls}}
{{Pedoseries}}
{{FakeRape}}
{{blackpeople}}
{{Otherkin}}

{{Timeline|Featured article June 26, [[2009]]|[[Online Blackjack]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Beccah Beushausen]]}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now June 10 and 12, [[2026]]|[[Tom Pearl]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

[[Category:2009]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Corpses]]

Michael Jackson

2026-06-10T16:57:57Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Link death

{{spoiler|THE BIOPIC WORKED AND NOW ZOOMERS THINK HE DIDN'T FUCK KIDS}}
{{spoiler|[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32542682/ns/entertainment-music/ MICHAEL JACKSON WAS MURDERED]}}
{{cleanup}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Hanson exploitable fixed.png|50px]] </div>
{{Epstein}}
[[Image:Thehorror.jpg|thumb|right|[[Perfection Girl|YOU ARE FAPPING TO A DEAD GUY, ENJOY!]]]]
[[Image:Pedojackson.jpg|thumb|[[Star Wars|The student must now become the master...]]]]
[[Image:diana napolis.jpg|thumb|right|Computer generated approximation of what [[Michael Jackson]] would look like at 50 had he stayed black.]]

{{quote|<big>'''>:/'''</big>|[[Joseph Fritzl]]}}
'''Michael Jackson'''{{Boylover}}, or '''Wacko Jacko''' was a 50-year-old (if not dead, would've been a {{age|1958|08|29}}-year old) Albino [[manchild]] and alleged pedofag from the northwestern part of [[Indiana]] that is literally almost near [[Chicago]] who found fame and fortune as a homosexual pederast and so became a poster boy for [[NAMBLA]]. He could also sing and dance like an organ grinder's monkey. Born as a small black boy into a large family of singing and dancing chimps, he eventually struck out on his own to [[Carlton|turn into a white]] [[tranny]] version of Diana Ross, travel around the world [[shotacon|luring young boys]], monkeys and [[Birdman|Elephant Men]] to slumber parties at his very own castle, Neverland, and to prove once and for all that when [[buttsecks|the big hand touches the little hand]], it's time to get the fuck right outta there!

On June 25th, 2009 Wacko Jacko was [[buttsecks|playing doctor]] with his personal aesthetician after a hard day rehearsing for an upcoming tour and after nagging the shit out of the poor IRL doctor about not being able to sleep, keeled over from an overdose of the hospital-grade elephant tranquilliser Diprivan (or "[[drugs|milk]]" to Jacko). Yes, that's right, [[great justice]] finally had its day as Jackson was put down by the [[death|Grim Ræper]] for being the [[pedobear|damn dirty ape]] he is via lethal injection. Jackson's highly polished exo-skeleton will be stuffed with robotics and placed on display at Disney's Hall of Presidents.

Long rumoured to be the leading cause of ejaculations in [[underage ban]]s, it wasn't until 2003 that the long arm of the law touched Jacko inappropriately when one of his many victims' mothers revealed lurid description of Jacko's [[cock|wedding tackle]] after he ran out of [[bribery|hush money]]. Despite being legally a [[white]] woman, '''Captain EO''' played [[The Race Card|the race card]] like [[OJ]] in his/her 2003 pedophilia trial.

Amongst the train wreckage of a life full of batshit crazy behaviour, he leaves a legacy that includes being the author of [[W]]'s controversial '''No Child's Behind Left''' plan and saving humanity from the [[Beatles]] voluminous catalogue of songs (after outbidding [[Paul McCartney]] for the [[Jew gold|publishing rights]]) by preventing iTunes from offering said drek to the public.

Always a controversial figure, he will nonetheless be fondly remembered for the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" on live TV at [[Football|Super Bowl XXXVIII]] on February 1, 2004 in which he exposed his penis to Justin Timberlake during the half-time show

He is survived by [[wikipedia:Bubbles_(chimpanzee)|Bubbles the chimp]], the Elephant Man's remains, several children called [[true|Blanket]], a [[cumdumpster|surrogate babymamma]], Macauley Culkin, Stephen Spielberg, [http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-michael-jackson31-2009may31,0,1441957.story a mountain of debt], and the joke:

'''Q:''' What do Michael Jackson and KMart have in common?
'''A.''' Little boys' pants half off!

He will be missed by children everywhere for so many will never know the sweet caress of Michael Jackson's gloved hand.

[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Head_On_Fire.gif|right|thumb|200px|Proof that thinking about child rape too long will make your Soul-Glo ignite.]]
[[Image:Mj advice.jpg|thumb|[[Advice dog|Advice]] from Jacko]]
[[Image:MJBubbles2.gif|thumb|right|500px|Jacko's morning routine]]
[[Image:Michael fritzl.jpg|thumb|[[Josef Fritzl]] is Bad Michael Jackson.]]
[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|right|Celebrities are more important than [[You|You]].]]
[[Image:MJ_I_Rape.jpg|thumb|right|Jackson stars in his own feature length documentary movie ''I Rape''.]]
[[Image:Creepyposter.jpg|thumb|This [[demotivator]] courtesy of Neverland Ranch.]]
[[Image:Goodshow.jpg|thumb|right|MJ's death pleases the [[Juliana Wetmore|Elephant Man]].]]
[[Image:Bubbles_gun.jpg|thumb|Bubbles' gangsta rap album]]
[[Image:Blowing_bubbles.jpg|thumb|It is a well known fact that chimps are a gateway drug to [[13-year-old boys]].]]
[[Image:Wackajackson.jpg|thumb|Wacka wacka wacka jackson]]
[[Image:Pedo bear-jackson.jpg|thumb]]

==Life At Home==

MJ originally constructed for himself the perfect [[tool]] for drawing in his preferred cuisine: an amusement park where children "never grow up" and "[[DO NOT WANT|don't want]] to go to school". It was his primary romp for years until people realized that a grown man running a theme park for children all by himself was a little [[creepy]]. Jacko closed his own pool after his rape trial, moving back to [[Whore]]lywood with the intent to rebuild his fondle-factory in Berlin. Just thinking about plump little [[Prussian Blue|blue-eyed blond-haired Nazi children]] made Jacko drool so much his lips fell off: it was that or too much plastic surgery and amazing [[gay|buttsecks]] with Macaulay Culkin whom he had [[molested|fiddled]] the hell out of for many years after his copy of "Home Alone" on VHS(a.k.a. Exhibit C) became recognizable only as the worlds most valuable container of Jacko [[spooge|spunk]].

He lived with his a myriad of prepubescent servants and his [http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/10/09/2007-10-09_michael_jackson_nanny_fighting_lupus_alo.html Nanny with lupus]. [[Poland#Tourism|He has also expressed his wish to move to Poland]] and live in a castle purchased there, although he may have been unaware that the country's demographics were not ideal, having fewer young boys than girls.

=="Thriller" or "I'm a [[pedobear|pedophile]], put me in jail"==
[[Image:Wackojacko.jpg|thumb|200px|right|This is a picture from his music video, "Thriller". Also known as one of the last times he needed makeup to look like a zombie.]]
Years before Jackson was first accused of liking kids too much, he recorded a [[WIN|HIT]] album where all his plans and intentions where clearly stated. The album was released by [[EPIC|Epic records]] (for real) but before they released the album they decided to change some of the title songs, so as to make Jackson's intentions less obvious. '''Bolded''' are the words that were deleted:
# "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' '''(With That Young Boy)'''" – 6:02
# "Baby '''(Boy)''' Be Mine" – [[Weed|4:20]]
# "The '''([[Underage]])''' Girl Is Mine" – 3:42
# "'''(Chasing After [[Loli]] [[Ass]] Sure Is a) '''Thriller" – 5:57
# "'''(I'll Show You How To)''' [[Masturbation|Beat It]]" – 4:17
# "Billie Jean: '''(An 8 Year Old Can't Be Pregnant)'''" – 4:57
# "Human Nature: '''(I'm Just God's Messenger)'''" – 4:05
# "P.Y.T. (Pretty <s>Young</s> '''Underage''' Thing) " – 3:58
# "The '''([[Loli]])''' in My Life" – 4:12

==The Elephant Man==

Jackson was also an [[Trolling IRL|IRL Troll]] and had created many "false" stories about himself, apparently to see if he could "control" the media, a plan that would unfortunately backfire on him, [[LOL WUT|such as sleeping in an oxygen chamber to prolong his life, and buying a sex toy]]. Another notable event occurred in the [[1980|Mid-1980]]'s where Michael Jackson tried to purchase the skeleton of Joseph Merrick, aka the Elephant Man. He ultimately failed to obtain the skeleton. When asked the reason for his fagging, Michael Jackson stated that "it was mostly for the [[lulz]]". [[Some argue|People suspect]] however, that it was in fact not for the lulz but for [[necrophilia|other recreational activities]].

==Movie Career==

In addition to starring in '''Moonwalker''' and hundreds of music videos, at the time of his death, Michael Jackson was in pre-production on a prequel to Hustler's popular '''Barely Legal''' series.

===Moonwalker===

A series of films, including a bunch of shotas reenacting "Bad", but the only notable part of this film is the half hour long "Smooth Criminal" video, where Michael Jackson fights Joe Pesci from Home Alone, an evil supervillian who wants to '''get kids hooked on drugs''', but even worse, '''end prayer in schools.''' Naturally MJ takes offense to this, dances around, turns into a car, dances some more, '''shoots a guy while dancing with hookers''', then rescues the kiddies. But then he disappears into the night sky. Just like E.T. The kiddies cry on a street corner.

But then MJ comes back. Just like he did in real life.

===Ghosts===

Half an hour of Michael Jackson wearing extensive makeup to look like a fat white dude who accuses Michael Jackson of being a freak who corrupts children. To which Michael Jackson dances around with ghouls. Wow. That'll convince any skeptic of your sanity.

==Bubbles==
{{quote|Now that he's dead, who's gonna blow Bubbles?|[[Anon]]}}

{{tinyquote|Bubbles is more fun than a lot of people I know. I saw Bubbles at a wedding in a tux. He has great table manners.|Quincy Jones|[[truth|defending chimpmongling]]}}

After failing to secure a [[negro|bag of bones to stick his dick into]], Jacko purchased a chimpanzee called Bubbles to stick his dick into. As is well known, chimps love nothing better than to sit around masturbating between displays of fæces hurling and Jacko thought that slipping his own dick (which was not yet white and hairless) in would be a cinch. At first it was, so Bubbles became an entourage of one, Jacko's confidante and [[BFF]], accompanying him to [[torture|recording sessions]] and music videos shoots. On the road they shared a hotel bed and Jacko's wardrobe.

Life at home was sweet for both primates, with Bubbles and Jacko sharing a bedroom at [[Gaia|Neverland]]. Bubbles was fully toilet trained and allowed to use Jacko's private crapper but was often seen sitting in a crib wearing a diaper to satisfy Jacko's [[infantilism|diaper fetish]].
Historically,bedtime at Neverland Ranch was always when the big hand touched the little hand.

Sadly, in 2003, Bubbles was kicked to the curb after his [[shota|little hand]] grew too big for the [[pedo|big hand]] -anyone watching Law & Order: SVU know that this is classic pedo behavior. Also, with the arrival of Jacko's first [[IRL]] child, Prince Michael 1, Bubbles had outlived his usefulness.

Jacko justified the breakup and dumping Bubbles on the chimp's overly aggressive love making style where Bubbles had reversed his traditional position as the '[[masochist|bottom]]' in sexual relations to being the '[[sadist|top]]'. [[TL;DR]], Bubbles was now [[buttsecks|assraping]] Jacko as opposed to Jacko assraping Bubbles.

Jacko blamed [[Prince]] [http://prince.org/msg/7/38797 claiming that] he had used [[ESP]] to turn Bubbles batshit insane saying:

{{tinyquote|"[[Jacko|What kind of sicko would mess with a monkey?]] This is the final straw. Poor, poor Bubbles."|Jacko}}

Today, Bubbles has lived at many places since his failed attempt to assassinate Prince Michael and failed attempt to [[an hero]]. He lives in an animal sanctuary where he has a new best friend, [[Assrape|Sam: A 40 Year Old Chimpanzee nicknamed Bubba. Now Bubbles will have many nights of tender tender love making, just like the old days]].

In a special by Animal Planet, sister La Toya Jackson came to visit the chimp and exchanged tearful words. Yes, she is actually talking to a monkey...

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'''To a monkey'''
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==Early Life==

Jackson's early life was full of [[child abuse|moonbeams and happy times]]. Father, Joe Jackson, would give all Jackson children encouragement to pursue their [[pedophile|dreams]] and [[jailbait|desires]] by having hurtful buttsecks that left a deep impression on young Michael. Michael's bizarre unrelenting hatred of Steven Spielberg, going into fits of rage whenever Steven would win an Oscar, which was often, can only be explained by the fact that he was Steven's bitchboi before being passed along as a used cumbucket among the Hollywood elite.

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The Jackson family during the early days.
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==Pedo Trials: Part 1 of 2==
[[Image:HomeAloneMJ.jpg|thumb|In his prime.]]
[[Image:Alien-vs-predator-michael-jackson.jpg|thumb]]
In 1993, Jacko was tried for being a [[pedo]] after a [[13-year-old boy]] called '''[[An_Hero|Jordan]] [[Chris-chan|Chandler]]''' accused him of putting the big hand on the little penis, kissing him, face-fucking him and [[fapping]] in front of him, with a detailed description of Jacko's junk. His info was so precise, he even pinpointed where the vitiligo splotches were, the length of the performer's pubes and that he was a Jew, while he was in Monaco to be given 8 more awards at the World Music Awards. Throughout the show Jacko was sitting next to the Prince of Monaco with Jordan on his lap, bouncing him on his knee whilst whispering "Rubba" into his ear. No one thought that Jacko was a sick fuck.

Jacko, being too much of a pussy to have a trial, settled the case by giving the accuser's family over 20 million dollars. [[Some argue|Some say]] that this was proof of him being guilty. Others say that he couldn't be tried because of his health (spoiler alert: he was a drug addict). Now, had this been the extent of Jacko's allegations people would have left him alone, but the damn bastard couldn't stop himself from fucking...

==Pedo Trials: Part 2 out of 2==
{{quote|Another kid? That's like another dead white woman showing up at O.J.'s house, and O.J. going 'I know what you're thinking...'|Chris Rock}}
After making a jackass of himself in a documentary, Jacko gets accused of more molestation in 2003. This was the final blow to his career. The accuser was a former cancer patient who had his [[Pwnt|spine removed]] at a young age and his final words were to Michael Jackson. His wish came true and he was told to be ready to die in a few weeks, but after he met Michael, he was saved. [[Truth|Michael Jackson sucking your cock cures cancer]].

A trial finally ensued and it ended with Jacko being found innocent, before being [[BTFO]] to Bahrain.

[[Some argue|It has been scientifically estimated]] that the next molestation by Jacko would have occured in 2013, should he have been alive by then.

[[Image:Jesusjuice.jpg|thumb|Vintage Jacko lubrication]]
[[Image:Spotted-dick.jpg|thumb|MJ's junk in a can]]
[[Image:Michael_jackson.jpg|thumb]]
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===Quotable===

{{quote|I believe this charity single could still generate lots of money to help those in need. Why shouldn’t it come out? Because of something I did in the past? This is an industry in which rock stars date porno queens. Adult film doesn’t have the same stigma it used to. So, really, what’s their excuse?!|F. Marc Schaffel is coming to his own defense on word that Michael Jackson’s [[911]] charity single "What More Can I Give" isn’t being released because of his porno directing past.}}

==Jacko's Kids==
Michael Jackson's kids (the ones he ''had'' as opposed those which he "had"), who are all completely white, are (obviously) [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/michael-jackson/5706071/Michael-Jackson-not-biological-father-of-his-children.html not his biological children]. In fact, the biological father is widely known to be Mark Lester, the blond-haired former child actor who played Oliver in a [[gay]] musical movie.

Looking at Lester's childhood photo, which seems to fit the image of Jackson's ideal sex partner, one need not wonder how Jacko's children were being used.

Moreover, it appears that not only did Jacko not sire even one of his children, he never formally adopted them either. This case alone is grounds to have him posthumously prosecuted for kidnapping. [http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/07/01/michael-jacksons-will-filed-in-court-neverland-memorial-unlikely/ In his will], he left custody of the kids to [[Sheneequa|Diana Ross]].

{{quote|Daddy's Clowning!|One of the kids, further proving that he loves using kids.}}

{{cg|Gallery|gallery1|center|<gallery>
Image:Mark_lester-current.jpg|Mark Lester, the kids' godfather, is the biological father.
Image:Mark_lester-1968.jpg|Mark Lester in 1968 as the title character in the fagtastic musical Oliver!
Image:Michael_jackson_south_park.jpg|Jacko and his kids.
Image:mj.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #1 aka Macaulay
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Jackson_kid-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #2
Image:Jackson_kid-2.jpg|[[Jailbait|Michael Jackson's kid #3]]
Image:Sq-michael-baby-balcony-cnn.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #4 aka [[WTF|'''Blanket''']]
Image:Jacko_and_cartman.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #5 aka [[Cartman]]
Image:Michaelomer.jpg|Papa Joe's thoughts on Michael Jackson's kid #6
</gallery>}}

==The Mask of Pedo==
On December 13th, 2008, Michael Jackson reappeared in the spotlight using an [[nice try|old trick]] from Elizabeth Taylor/Liza Minnelli to gain sympathy from his fans by faking a mental illness. This time it took the form of what could be best described as dressing up like a Bollywood version of Zorro.

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=='''This Is [[shit|It]]!''': The Comeback==
[[Image:Jacko_hulk.jpg|thumb|Jacko trains with the [[Hulk]] for his one city 'tour'.]]
{{quote|When I say this is it, it really means this is it.|Jacko, exposing himself in front of millions of horny fans|March 2009}}

In March 2009, Jacko announced that he would be playing live again for the first time in 12 years with a 50 day residence at [[Londonistan]]'s '''O2''' arena starting in July. Strapped for attention, he planned to revive his rotting career and make hueg amounts of [[Jew Gold]] to pay off his mountain of debt. He also needed fresh, young meat to feed his ravenous appetite for [[shota]]; his kids had grown so old they now revolted him so much he'd stopped getting protein from them and was so incredibly [[pro-ana|frail and underweight]] that nobody really noticed, since he always looked like that.

With a cash advance from the '''O2''' and a firm of [[jews|venture capitalists]] called '''AEG''' he set about trying to get into shape for the gruelling '''tour'''. He rented out [[LA]]'s Staples Center for full dress-rehearsals and hired [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2481286/Michael-Jackson-is-being-trained-by-Lou-Ferrigno.html the Incredible Hulk] to whip him into shape. The rehearsals were filmed and have been fashioned into a sloppy motion picture. Jacko's attention-seeking family claimed that a body double was used, but nobody gave a shit. As nobody gave a shit about the movie to begin with.

{{ytplus|Jackson Rehearsing For Surprise Comeback Performance 7/7/09|<center><youtube>mdVTbU9q0Lc</youtube></center>|Do it now before they grow up and it's too late!|[http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/ggallin/exposeyourselftokids.html Lyrics from the video rehearsal]}}
===THIS IS WIN===
It is now reported that Sony and AEG, in an attempt to cash in on Jacko's postmortem sales jump and salvage what they invested in Jacko for this tour, are going to, through the magic of editing, cobble together 80 hours of footage shot during the rehearsals of the tour to make an entirely incoherent film about Jacko's final days. The price tag of the film is reported to be at least $50 million.

==Death==

[[Image:Mjinvincible.jpg|thumb|Jacko's last studio album: [[irony|''Invincible'']]]]
[[Image:Goodnight_jacko.jpg|thumb|October 2007: /[[b]]/ called it. [[Goodnight sweet prince|Goodnight Shotacat]].]]
[[Image:HHHHHHHNNNGGGGGMJ2.JPG|thumb|right|An ironic twist to an [[HNG|old meme.]]]]
[[Image:Coincidentally.jpg|thumb|right|Anal cancer claims two more lives.]]
[[Image:DEADjacko.jpg|thumb|The cover of [[Pedophile|Jacko's]] re-release of the album ''BAD''.]]
[[Image:Michaels heart.jpg|thumb|Mj's temple of doom]]
[[Image:Chartattack.jpg|thumb|right|[[O RLY?]]]]
[[Image:MichealjacksonJackieChan.jpg|thumb|DO NOT WANT gook!!]]
[[Image:Jjj.jpg|thumb|right|OH SHIT HES BACK!]]
On Thursday, June 25th, 2009, Michael Jackson died in the act of lovemaking, having a [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]]. This is considered one of the best ways to go, preferable to rotting in an old folks home or dying of cancer. The young boy who Jackson was making love to at the time called paramedics; his name was not released. Most news agencies omitted this fact, leaving a mystery of who called paramedics when Michael Jackson was unconscious at the time. Regardless, Jacko was clearly [[I'm on my bee|not on his bee]].

The compassionate, humanitarian brain-trust /[[b]]/ was quick to exploit it with endless threads featuring the [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]] meme and Michael Jackson photoshops. His dying wish was to donate his [[cock|organ]] to a sick child (so that his [[Penis|organ]] would forever be inside a child).

[http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-dies-death-dead-cardiac-arrest TMZ] reported the initial diagnosis was that Jacko died from [[HNG|cardiac arrest]] caused by a massive cocktail of drugs including Dilaudid, Vicodin, Soma, Xanax, Zoloft, Paxil for anxiety and heartburn pill Prilosec administered by a nigger doctor. The Los Angeles coroner's office has deferred Jacko's inquest awaiting toxicology tests and to provide ample time for the media shitstorm to rage on for a week or two. Shortly thereafter, [[Jesse Jackson]] appeared on [[CNN]] calling for a full and thorough investigation of the facts and Jacko's live-in doctor (who, it was reported, had gone on the lam) suggesting that this was <big>MURDER!</big> He then called for [[OJ]] to be released from jail since he's an expert in tracking down the [[CIA|real killers]].

While it has since been confirmed that he had a heart attack in the ER, initial reports were of a stroke in the Pediatrics wing.

Meanwhile [[CNN]] reported Vanillaface moonwalked off this mortal coil. [[Fark]] reported that he had just begun work on ''Thriller 2: Electric Boogaloo!'' Though his heart is no longer beating, Disney has inspected the body and declared that the high quality plastic exterior makes him a great candidate for animatronics. The same news report told how he was planning to rekindle his popularity, but the only thing he accomplished was becoming the first [[wigger|white black person]] to die of something besides gunfire.

Because Jacko is dead, it is impossible to determine exactly how uncountably many children he sodomized at the Neverland Ranch, as well as everywhere else.

On 28 August, 2009 a Los Angeles Coroner ruled the death of Michael Jackson a [[AIDS|homo]]cide[http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/28/jackson.autopsy/index.html].
[[Image:Pedo mourn 2.png|thumb|right| [[lie|Pedobear mourns the loss.]]]]
[[Image:Pedo bearsmall.png|thumb|right| Good night. ]]

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===Reaction===
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|Keep your tickets. This is all a setup for the best performance of Thriller ever.|[[Perez Hilton]]

|Is he even biodegradable???|A bewildered [[hippy|environmentalist]]

|Michael Jackson didn't die of a heart attack, he got food poisoning from eating nine year old nuts.|MJ's coroner

|For the first time ever, we will meet our quota on carbon-emissions for the Kyoto Protocol, thanks to his brave sacrifice.|Barack Obama

|You can't throw him away or cremate him as that would contribute to global warming.The best thing to do is recycle his body for the future use of Joan Rivers.|Fox News

|Run, cherubs, run!|God

|Thursday June 25th 2009: Dear Diary, today I got a new roommate...|[[Heath Ledger]]

|WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!|[[Alex Jones|Micheal Jackson death denier]]

|He just went for Baby Jesus|Grief-stricken /[[b]]/tard

|I think [[Chimpmongler]] is a [[pretty cool guy]]. eh diddles shota and doesn't afraid of [[Chris Hansen]]|[[anon]]

|Basketball will never be the same again |/b/tard

|Why must I cry?!?!|rehdogg

|This article is bad and ED should feel bad.|[[User:faggot|StarCadet]]

|Michael you left such a legacy on this earth, have touched SO MANY!!!|Kelly Rowland
|}}
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The Jews being the two-faced, money grubbing scum that they are, suddenly had newfound respect for Jacko. It turns out after [[Lulz|making many cruel jokes at his expense, stealing as much of his money as they could, and publicly humiliating him]], [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|they decided to just sweep all the nasty things they said under a rug and act like it never happened]]. As overwrought outpourings of unconditional love for the Gloved One rained down upon the masses from all and sundry, [[b|/b/]] remained the sole voice of reason in the tragedy, celebrating this living embodiment of [[Shotacat]]'s life and death, creating [[meme]]s in their indomitable style. Meanwhile, faggotry reigned the day on the likes of [[Shitter]], [[YouTube]], [[Facebook]] and blog after blog after blog.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten how [[shocked & appalled]] they were back when Jacko was on trial for molesting [[shota]]. People posted tributes and childhood memories, songs and vidyas of how important '''The King of Pop''' had been in their lives and how he'd provided the soundtrack to the indiscretions of youth; that first mugging (Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'), that first [[fap]] (Beat It), that first child molestation (Pretty Young Thing).

It's almost as if they could maybe one day overlook the [[Holocaust]] and give another [[Hitler|tortured artist with issues]] the props he surely deserved for being an inspiring leader, brilliant economist, terrific orator, a non-smoking [[dogmongler|animal lover]] with a keen eye for graphic design and style who also got the trains to run on time.

MJ cockmonglers have responded by locking themselves in cupboards, self-mutilation, Jacko tattoos, and [[Baww|BAWWWWWing]] about how the world is a cruel and violent place, subsequently expressing the desire to assault people who don't think or act as they demand. Scientists have concluded that the universe does not revolve around these [[asspies]].

[[Billy Mays]], who was also 50 years old, responded three days later with [[:Image:Billy Mays Last Words.jpg|his own drug-induced heart attack.]] Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in another for free.

You can [[Rape|help]] out the tremulous Jacko pirates by sacking their tree house of precious, underaged booty:

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<youtube>8_XWbQZgbPs</youtube>

'''[[Psychopath|Some people]] were glad he died'''
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The phrase "Fuck that nigger Michael Jackson" was said a total of 9 times during the above movie.
[http://www.mjfanclub.net/mjforum373/index.php '''The Well of Untapped Lulz ''']:

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|I was stuck on register on Friday. The customers ask "so how are you today?" I just wanted to punch every single one.|Jacko fanboy on pacifism

|I am having the worst time at work. These people that I thought of like family are stabbing me in the back. My boss, who I followed from another job,and a co-worker whom I never suspected could be so cruel, basically told me that my grief was irrelevent compaired to what other people go though and that I had no right to be upset because I didn't know him personally. How dare they invalidate how I'm feeling!?|Jacko fanboy on narcissism

|God I've just started crying all over again more than I ever had. I dunno what to do with myself I don't seem to be bothered about anything. Yesterday I had a thought that I wouldn't care if I was to die cos I'd be with Michael. I can't get over this I'm so depressed and confused. Every where I turn there's something Michael related. I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying for the rest of my life but I've read enough books that always give the message that if someone dies you need to try and move on with your life but I can't|Jacko fanboy on being a hedgehog

|I just don't know how I can go on living without the love of my life. Michael was everything to me. I just feel so numb and sick. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. It just feels like I'm stuck in a sick and twisted nightmare that I can't wake from. My whole world has just collapsed. I need someone to talk to.|Jacko fanboy on being ronery

|There was a parade in San Francisco, which I did not go to because I probably would have kick somebody being surrounded by pesudo fans. I'm past the sad grieving phase of my despair its now just anger. I hate how everyone is suddenly a "fan" of his once he dies, now everybody wants all his CDs, how everybody realizes what a musical genius he was. What about those who have been there since DAY ONE? I guess it's better than people being hateful but...UGH....they're all so FAKE. They didn't love him. I can't even stand to listen to them speak his name because they're all unworthy, just because you used to listen to Thriller when you were 4 doesnt make you a fan. Apart from this site I can't listen to anybody talk about him, I couldnt even finishing reading LMP's statement...Not everyone is a fake but...UGH, I dunno....|Jacko fanboy on elitism
|}}
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Ozfags were particularly [[butthurt]] and authorities had to set up a [[self-pwn]] hotline after reports surfaced of [http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25712012-5019114,00.html numerous faggots committing suicide].

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==Trolling==
{{quote| I wish Bill Cosby or some other [[Black Jesus|'beloved' celeb]] would [[Win|die]] so we could get a break from all this Wacko Jacko coverage. Wait...[[No|is Bill Cosby alive?]]|Facebook post - [[Billy Mays|be careful what you wish for]]}}

[[Image:Trolling facebook.png|thumb|[[Godwin's Law|For the (God)win!]]]]
[[Image:Headline.jpg|thumb|right|[[Typical]] British headline.]]
In the meantime, you can help by trolling people on the Internets with mock outrage at all this praise for Jacko and comparing him to Hitler. Go to someone's virtual [[Facebook]] shrine and leave comments to ''their'' comments feigning disgust that someone would sweep Jacko's [[shota|crimes against humanity]] under the rug. Tell them they probably spent his pedo trial damning him to Hell and if not, ask them if they would let their kids sleep over at [[basement|Neverland]] or hang out with [[Josef Fritzl|Uncle Josef]]. Tell them that Hitler was a brilliant motivational speaker and a seriously snappy dresser.

Most people won't take the bait because they know it's true: Jacko was a [[sick fuck]]. But some will puff up their e-chests and rise to his defense: this is when you accuse them of hypocrisy and double standards. Ask why they hate children so much and how come molestation is okay when the perpetrator is a celebrity. If they [[BAW|BAAAAAW]] that you're out of line, admit that yes, you're sorry, comparing Jacko to Hitler is a terrible insult to Hitler.

Another effective trolling technique is to liberally apply mock outrage at both the fact that he is to be memorialized and that the huge tribute is to be paid for by your hard-earned tax dollars. Since the [[Arnold|State of Collyfornia]] is now [[bailout plan|bankrupt and issuing IOUs to pay for most services]] this adds [[flame|fuel to the fire]]. It has been estimated that police overtime needed for security at the memorial in downtown LA will cost $2,000,000 alone and ''[[you]]'' are going to be paying for it.

Comments such as:

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|I don't get it. Why don't they dig up [[Jeffrey Dahmer]] and throw ''him'' a party. Hell, let's give Saddam Hussein a party; he had [[Basement|rape rooms]] too!|troll
|Yeah. Fritzl too. At least [[Josef Fritzl]] raped his own children.|troll bait
|Hey did Mike fuck your wife or something? You sounding like its personal.|[[butthurt]] Jacko fanboy
|My wife wasn't his type...she was female and older than 12.|[[OP]]
|LA can't even afford to hire any new cops or fire fighters and they're going to pay for a party to honor a pedophile? I for one will not be paying my taxes this year.|troll
|Yes Michael Jackson, make that scream ("AHEE-HEE!") while I rape your asshole and jack you off. Your rectum becomes swollen and starts bleeding you little cumslut. Then I slit your throat, lick your blood, and rape your throat hole while you ejaculate in ecstasy. I ram my fork in your eye and force you to eat it while you weep for mercy. I pour Girugamesh into your eye sockets, and inject you with pure, liquid Gaymen, so that you feel the agony for all eternity. Now that was only the warm up round. Now I begin to insert a mace-like needle, grafted from the claws of Cthulu, that has been laid on the surface of lava from Mount Doom into your urethra. Michael Jackson has gone into Terry Schiavo mode. He has to live out the rest of eternity in agony without the privilege of resisting his maker. Your friends and family can't save you Michael. I've thrown them into the Great Pit of Carkoon; where they shall be slowly digested in the Sarlacc's belly for over a thousand years.|The Bruce Campbell of Trolling Copypasta
|}}
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===[[Trolling IRL]]===
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{{quote|Let's knock out the [[harbl|psychobabble]]. He was a pervert, a child molester, a pedophile. What does giving this much coverage to him say about us as a country? I just think we're too politically correct.|[http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/06/new-york-congressman-blasts-jackson-pervert-low-life/ Rep. Peter King (R) New York]}}

===Trolling YouTube Comments===
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{{cg|Le Jaque Waquette|jackowackomocklogallery|center|<gallery>
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Image:Mj_king_of_b.jpg|LOL black person can't be kings!
Image:BlackWhiteBlue.jpg
Image:RIP MJ June25th 09.JPG
Image:Goodnight-thread.png|[[B|/b/]] can predict the future...[[goodnight sweet prince]]!
Image:Leave MJ alone.jpg|We need to leave the pedo faggot nigger zombie alone.
Image:Jackson 4 returning.jpg|Did you know the Jackson FOUR are getting back together?
Image:Popicon.jpg|Jacko was a pop icon.
Image:Pedobear mourning.png|[[Pedobear|I'll keep his legacy alive!]]
</gallery>}}

==[[Perez Hilton]], first responder==

As news of Jacko's death reached [[Perez Hilton]], Perez set about what Perez does best: showing that, as gay as he gets, he can always get even gayer. He made a blog post claiming that Jacko was just faking it to get out of contractual obligations. This caused abundant butthurt and threats of violence so Hilton tried to backtrack and apologise for the fag-on-fag violence. This wasn't enough for some misguided, gay anons who called for a raid on Hilton (see: [[Talk:Michael Jackson]]). A fallout from this gay Operation Thriller faggotry is expected and leading expert [[tfo]] will bring you news when it happens.

[[Image:Michaeladvison.jpg|thumb|right|Michael Jackson plays a large role in the ''Half-Life'' series, known as the Michael Advison.]]

[[Image:Jacksonhollowmansequel.jpg|thumb|right|In 2009, Michael Jackson set out to create a new image, this time of a movie star. His breakthrough role was in a low-budget sequel to a popular horror film.]]

[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|ACCESS DENIED LOL =[]]

[[Image:Perez hilton mariofailsitlols.jpg|center|1000px]]

==[[Conspiracy Theories]]==
[[Image:Mj glove.jpg|thumb|right|[[Domestic_violence|Does the King of Pop need to smack a bitch?]]]]

===Pepsi did it===
PepsiCo. tried but failed to defoliate Jacko's [[Don Imus|nappy head]] with napalm [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZnUI8tfKjg during the filming of a Pepsi commercial] in the '[[80s]], so Jacko turned to the painkillers which would eventually be similar to the drugs rumored to cause his death. Additionally, when the contract ended with him, Pepsi's stock market fell for a while, ergo, Pepsi did it.

===Rock Band did it===
''Rock Band Unplugged'' had the song "ABC" by The Jackson 5 on it. Michael Jackson was 11 when the song was released. 11 days after the release of the game, he died.

===[http://www.adl.org/PresRele/ASUS_12/2460_12.asp Jews did it]===
{{quote|Michael Jackson has an anti-Semitic streak and hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. It seems every time he has a problem in his life, he blames it on the Jews.|[[ADL]]}}
[[Image:Michael-jackson-the-muslim-perv.jpg|thumb|Abu Joe trollin Jews]]
[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Holding_Israel_Flag.jpg|thumb|Jacko surrenders to [http://www.yoyenta.com/?p=1035 appease the Jews]]]
To get back at [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/856313/posts Michael Jackson putting a "Voodoo curse" on Supreme Jewish Leader Steven Spielberg], a day before his [[death]], upon entrance into an [[IRC]] channel, a Jew compulsively typed in "ah Michael Jackson, ah what?" Given the fact that this Jew has tha [[OCD]], he has [[DBZ|special powers]], using which he placed a curse on Jacko and [[pwnt|killed]] him.

[[Thatkidparker|Some people]] do believe that Jews did Michael Jackson, and not just because [http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKTRE55P0Q520090626 he owed] them [[jew gold]] or placed a curse. Their reasoning goes as follows:
[[Image:Michael-Jackson-and-Adolf-Hitler.jpeg|thumb|Michael Achtung]]
::1. Jewish monetary perverts drool at the billions accumulated by MJ. They say [[hello|shalom]] and try to invite themselves to dinner, but Jacko says "[[GTFO]]."
::2. In addition, Jews at the [[Mossad]] want to insert [[memes]] into his lyrics so that they can sell more dope to the listeners. MJ says "[[gb2]]hell."
::3. Jews insert bait children into his life. Indeed, some of the children's families were [[BFF]] with their Jewish attorneys.
::4. Jacko smells trouble, and responds with lyrics. Jewish lawyers made him change them. The song is accompanied by creepy music that gives you visions of Jewish shark lawyers trying to [[banhammer]] you for good. The unedited version of one of his lyrics went as follows ([[srsly]]):

::::''Jew really fucked''
::::''Jew thought he really got control of me''
::::''Jew out there,''
::::''Jew really wants to get me''
::::''Kick me''
::::'''''Kike me'''''
::::''Use me''
::::''[[Pedo|Abuse]] me''
::::''Sue me''
::::'''''Jew me'''''
::::''Take control of me''

::5. Jews never find anything funny if it is at their own expense so proceeded to banhammer him. They fail at the banhammer but succeed in putting him out of commission.

A related theory is that the music biz did Jacko for revenge. His last studio album [[irony|''Invincible'']] in 2002 had tanked and Jacko had gotten into a [[butthurt|heated dispute]] with his label Sony and leveraged himself out of his contract after accusing them of failing to spend sufficient [[jew golds]] marketing and promoting him. Of course this had absolutely nothing to do with his refusal to go on tour in support of the record. Jacko and the head of the label went toe-to-toe in the media and Jackson alleged the label head was a [[white|"devil" and a "racist"]] who did not support black artists and used them solely for [[profit]]. He charged that the label chief had called his pal Irv Gotti a "fat nigger."

===[http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2009/06/23/sanford-disappears-to-hike-appalachian-trail-on-naked-hiking-day/ Mark Sanford] did it===
After getting busted for going AWOL from his day job as the Governor of South Carolina, [[Republicunt]] "family values" fanboy [[Mark Sanford]] (described by [[Stephen Colbert]] as "incredibly boring ... a manila envelope glued to a beige wall... a walking, talking [[Sleep sex|Ambien]]") admitted he was off in Buenos Aires having an extramarital affair with a moderately attractive [[Argentinian]] chica and not on a surprise solo hike on the Appalachian Trail (on Naked Hiking Day). Naturally, the old media went batshit crazy and had a field day at the Governor's expense and were set to drag all the skeletons from Sanford's suddenly interesting closet.

However, on the eve of blowing the lid off the secret lovers' steamy emails and such, Michael Jackson suddenly dropped dead. With a shot at being the [[GOP]]'s [[2012]] presidential candidate on the line, things were not looking good for the aging Lothario... until the spotlight shifted. Coincidence? You be the judge.

===[[Iran]] did it===

Following the hotly desputed re-election of [[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]], Iranians [[protest]]ed the results as the vote was the one shred of [[freedom]] they thought they still had. They even went as far as condemning the Supreme Leader which is apparently a big no-no. The American and other Western news media would closely observe this butthurt throughout the following weeks.

Fearing that continual coverage of the protests would weaken the [[Islamic]] leadership, they needed something seriously ''[[Epic]]'' to divert Western attention, which was Jackson's record producer.

===AEG Insurance Scam?===

[http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?p=1654#comments/ TMZ] reports that AEG, who funded the Jacko "This is It" tour, paid for a hefty insurance policy from Loyds of London covering, among all things, drug overdose.

===Farrah Fawcett did it?===

It is no coincidence that Farrah Fawcett and Jacko died on the same day. Reports state that earlier that day, on her deathbed Farrah's last dying wish was for all the children in the world to be safe. So God answered and killed Michael Jackson. The difference between Farrah and Jacko is that one screwed Majors, whereas the other screwed minors.

===Doctor Did It===

It is possible that his doctor Conrad Murray is responsible for drugging Jacko to death as the Coroner has requested all his files, as well as the LAPD, Los Angeles Country Sheriff, and now the DEA and FBI, because this will not be the same without the [[Party Van]]. They all want to know how this doctor got his hands on an IV-administered drug only available at hospitals.

===Illuminati Did Michael Jackson===
The [[Illuminati]] was infuriated when they learnt that Jacko was going to reveal the truth about the Illuminati's conspiracy to take over the world and reduce the world population by 90% in his next concert. They had their eyes on him ever since he created this non-satanic song which has a somewhat empowering effect, which is exactly the opposite of what the Illuminati wants (since everyone in the music industry must submit to [[Satan]] in order to get anywhere).

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===Jews, Jealous of Allah, did Michael Jackson ([[Copypasta]])===

Not surprisingly, this particular theory holds considerable sway in the [[Middle East]]. The synopsis goes as follows: Jacko had converted to Islam in the Middle East and intended to do a final farewell concert, encouraging his fans to do the same. Jews got wind of his intentions, and since he did not pass through any long tunnels where they could [[accident]]ize him like Diana when she got pregnant with an Arab, they had to kill him by injection. Jews unsurprisingly wanted him to continue pushing Diet Pepsi to the Americunts instead of [[Allah]].

{{quote3|
Michael Jackson (MJ) was known as the most loving person in the world. He gave up most of his assets for charity and all his life, he fought for equality of the African Americans, AIDS victims, Against Drug Abuse, Against Abortion, Against Child Labor and secretly channelled his properties for the hungry children of the world. However, he wasn't peace at heart. He always think of himself as a child trapped inside a man's body. Being Peter Pan is all his dream, never to grow up, forever a child. That inspires him to build Neverland - a heaven for children. Children of all ages and races are welcomed to Neverland. MJ had so much love to give.

However, he made a mistake which he didn't know of the consequences. He saw the peaceful life his brother, Jermaine (Muhammad Abdul Aziz) had as a Muslim - true, Jermaine faced so much pressure that he moved to Bahrain.

In 1989, MJ made a press conference which shocked the world, "I have seen the Islam in the life of my brother, I have read the books about Islam. And I'd love to someday feel the calmness and peace of Islam...."

Since that, MJ's life was never the same again.
He was accused of so many accusations against child molestation. MJ was not someone who can deal with much pressure as he is a 'delicate child'. All the extortion and black mail followed after that. Everything he did was being seen as wrong in the eyes of the Media. All these are to influence his fans to hate MJ. If he is hated, then he would not be influencial anymore.

For several years, he stayed in England. Getting motivation from a long time friend, Cat Stevens, who had converted into Islam - named Yusuf Islam. From him, MJ learnt how Yusuf had survived being Muslim. He made friends with a song writer, Zain Bhikha too, who wrote a song titled, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH", which he wanted MJ to sing whenever he is ready.

Following his trial, MJ withdrew to Bahrain, where he was the special guest of sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the son of Bahrain's king. It was then that Michael began to give conversion more "serious thought." MJ stayed in Bahrain for approximately 3 years. He studied Islam, the prayers and learn to read the Quran.

Finally, he came back to Los Angeles and in November 2008 MJ had formally converted to Islam in a ceremony at a close friend's house in Los Angeles. He perform Haj with the King of Bahrain and son on December 2008.

He had a hidden agenda when he wanted to make a final comeback. He annouced in a press conference on March 2009, "This will be my final concert. I'll see you all in July...."

He planned that during his concert, he would announce that this is the FINAL concert as he wouldn't be performing anymore. He will declare that he is a Muslim and will only sing with Yusuf Islam and Friends.
At the end of the concert, he will be singing the song, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH" with Yusuf Islam. That is the reason why he chose London as his final concert venue instead of the USA. It was because he thought he could escape the USA's extortion, and that he could perform with yusuf Islam who is in England.

At 12.30am, 25th June 2009, he hugged his production manager and said, "After reherasing for 2 months, I am finally ready for the concert..." Before leaving to sleep, he waved his dancers, "It was a good night everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow..." The next thing... He was pronouced dead at 2.26am.....

When 911 was called, there are so much questions asked. It is as if they didn't know who MJ is and where he lived. The questions asked are more towards to delay time. The hospital said the autopsy result can only be obtained after 2 months - very illog ical as even the worst African technology could obtain the result in less than 2 weeks.

MJ's family members opt for second private autopsy as they started to feel something fishy is going on. The result came out in about 4 days - MJ was drugged with high dosage of anaesthetic - drug that brings about a reversible loss of consciousness, if used to much could stop the heart from beating.

Another result which was not aired in the media was, MJ's stomach is empty of this drug, but his blood were filled with it - same case as the death of Marilyn Monroe. The private doctors also found many needle marks, afraid to be forced injections given to MJ on his bed.

In CNN Live after a week, Barack Obama was interviewed. And he said, "I love MJ, I grew up listening to his songs.. It is a great loss, but rest assured that there is no conspiracy in his death..."
Now, why must a President made such statement before the official autopsy result came out? How would he know that there is no conspiracy without the post-mortem result? Seems like someone is afraid of his shadows..

MJ was known to the world as a person who is against drug abuse. Why must he be addicted to drug, then? If he wanted to commit suicide, why rehearse for his concert? And why will he want to see his dancers the next day?

Enough about his death. I am sure people around the world is not stupid anymore. These supreme power can fool us during the Marilyn Monroe conspiracy, Martin Luther King and Princess Diana. But in this MJ's case, they left too many loopholes for those who think...!!

MJ's family was about to give him a Muslim burial with the help of The Brotherhood of Islam. But, the CIA showed up at Neverland's door - blackmailed them that if they do so publicly, Katherine (MJ's mother) would be pull off from MJ's 3 children's custody as well as MJ's estates. Instead, they'll hire Debbie Rowe for the purpose, and the court will be in their favour. So much for democracy and fairness....

Finally, they agreed to let MJ have a Muslim Burial in Neverland. But in condition, must show to the public a Christian Memorial Service, as to prove to the world that MJ was never a Muslim.

So, Staples Centre was just a normal show. That's why the coffin was closed and sealed.

MJ was buried days earlier. The Gold Coffin was empty. They were about to bury the Coffin according to Christianity ways in Hollywood - as in their deal with the USA Government.

These happened, because the USA is afraid of the rising numbers of Muslims in the world.

(Sheikh Ha**d)
The Brotherhood of Islam
Buletin of Bahrain

}}

===Castrati===

Michael Jackson's voice never broke. He never broke into falsetto to reach those notes, he could just hit them without effort. All of his brothers are big lantern-jawed men, but he even before all the surgery never looked older than 11. Why?

Because the Jackson 5 was a money machine, and it all depended on Jacko's voice. Joe Jackson is not a nice man, and never was. He did not take Michael to Mexico for an operation to ensure that that voice would remain angelic. He got good and drunk drunk and did the deed himself, with the boot.

This [[fact]] explains pretty much everything, the kids in the bed, the dance stuff where he'd touch himself like a woman. That's why the sexy dance moves in the "Thriller" video are so unconvincing and just wrong. Go watch it: it's obvious that this man has never actually fucked. He never put his dick in any of those kids because he was physically incapable of it. This is not to say that what he did wasn't sexually molesting the kids, just that it was quite a bit creepier than the paedophile rape everyone thinks it was.

In short: Jacko's dad kicked him in the balls, as a child, to cripple him and keep his voice sweet.

==Funeral==

[[Image:Paris-Michael-Katherine_Jackson_Memorial_OscarOscar.jpg|thumb|Paris Jackson, Michael Jackson's only daughter, accepts an Oscar for her stellar performance at the memorial ceremony.]]

[[Image:Jacklelz.jpg|thumb|LOL vandalism is pointless on this page or anywhere else on ED.]]

Jacko had a [[LOL|gala]] [[BAWWWW|public memorial service]] at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Jackson did not appear from the dead and deliver a true-to-life rendition of "Thriller", much to the chagrin of most of the audience. [[Paris_Hilton|Paris-Michael Katherine]] did, however, deliver a "heart-felt" speech at the end about how [[O RLY|great a father Jacko was]], and how they will lose their $1000/week allowances. It is not known who coaxed her into making said statements, as everyone knows Jacko's fatherhood suffered a brutal [[death]] after falling three stories off a balcony.

The hapless losers who invested $400 million for Jacko's comeback tour (who also own the Staples Center) gave out 11,000 free tickets to the public instead of selling them at a high markup. After burning $400 mil on a [[fail|now canceled due to death]] tour, why not just lose more money?

During the faggy memorial service, Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson took the stage, the latter having appeared in the music video ''[[Shit nobody cares about|Remember the Time (I Raped You)]]''. After everyone watching asked themselves why the fuck they are there, Magic Johnson went on to recount a tender moment he shared with Wacko Jacko:

'''LAWDY MICHAEL, IS DAT SUM [[Chikins|CHIKKINZ]]?'''
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During the service various speakers all lauded the strangeness that was Michael Jackson, spouting tall tales such as crediting Wacko Jacko with the election of [[Barack Obama]] as [[President]] (not that there aren't similarities).

It was reported that the Jacko family first opted for [[kill it with fire|cremation]], but it was discovered after years of plastic surgery and various chemical treatments to his skin that his body is now fireproof. NASA has approached Joe Jacko in the hope of getting corpse samples to use in research on new heat shields for space vehicles.

It has been reported that Jacko has finally been buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, instead of doing the right thing and donating his body to [[soyence]].

==Autopsy==
[[image:Jacko_SOPA.jpg|thumb|right|Is it really Piracy that's hurting the industry?]]
Initial autopsy results were inconclusive but reports from the Los Angeles Country Medical Examiner's office do showed that Jackson's body was 35% plastic and other recycled materials. After the rest of Jack's chassis had been released for embalming and burial subsequent autopsy and toxicology tests were done on Jackson's brain. On August 24th, 2009, the final results [http://www.wbaltv.com/entertainment/20535026/detail.html?treets=bal&tml=bal_natlbreak&ts=T&tmi=bal_natlbreak_1_02580108242009 were leaked] revealing the obvious: Jacko had died of a massive drug overdose and although he'd done the world a favour, Jacko's personal physician was accused of [[OJ Simpson|'''MURDER!!!''']]

The doctor, cardiologist Conrad Murray, had been treating Jackson for insomnia for about six weeks with a buttload of the hospital-grade anaesthetic Diprovan every night via the tip of his penis. Murray said he feared Jackson was becoming addicted to the anesthetic, which is supposed to be used only in hospitals and other advanced medical settings, so he had lowered the dose and threw in the sedatives Valium and midazolam.

According to court records Murray said he resisted a tired Jacko's incessant whining for Diprovan (which he referred to as "his milk") fearful that the pop star had developed a dangerous addiction to the drug. Instead, Murray administered the sedatives Valium, lorazepam and midazolam five times over six hours, which didn't work and Jacko continued to demand his "[[cum|milk]]". Jacko stopped breathing about 10 minutes after Dr. Death relented and finally gave in to his patient's demands.

==Michael Jackson Lives==

Don't believe Ondor's lies. We brought him back, we had the technology!
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[[Image:Lolmj.png|thumb|right|The King of Pop at his last performance.]]

==[[Bel-Air]]==

[[Image:Micahel jackson brb.jpg|thumb|right|]]

This is the story all about how 
My pulse got flipped turned upside down, 
Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, 
I'll tell you how I had cardiac arrest in Bel Air. 

In Gary, Indiana born and raised, 
In the plastic surgeon room is where I spent most of my days, 
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxing all cool, 
and sittin' in a van outside of a school 

When a couple of parents said I was up to no good, 
said I was molesting their kids in the neighborhood. 
I got in one little incident, and the police got scared 
and said "You movin' with your Blanket and children in Bel-Air" 

I said I'll do a big concert tour, and when it came near 
I needed a trainer - my body stress load was severe. 
One morning that I woke up and suddenly felt pain, 
I said "Nah forget it, YO HOLMES LET'S TRAIN!" 

The very next day, 'round 11 or 12, 
blood stopped rushing to my heart valve. 
I collapsed on the floor, and to rejoicing of haters 
I yelled to the world "yo holmes smell ya later" 

Slipped into a coma and I was finally there, 
dead of cardiac arrest at my home in Bel-Air. 

===Bel Air Ver. 2===
This is a story all about how my [[HNG|HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNGH]]!!!

==Legacy==
His legacy continues in every shitty rerelease of his music, his family, and Pedobear. Also this guy

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==Death: The Ultimate PR==

Before Jacko's death, no one gave a shit about him and his music. Only because it isn't even good enought to suck monkey cock. To everyone including his own family, he was a [[Loser|washed-up pop star]], with plastic skin and a fake nose. LaToya (Michael's evil twin brother) publicly accused Jacko of being a pervert on Geraldo Rivera's talk show in the 1990's. [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocrite Now he is an infallible pop music legend and his music is hotter than ever.] Use this to your advantage and [[profit|profit]] off his corpse while you still can!

Now with Jacko dead, the Jacksoff family is missing their primary cash cow. As with Elvis before him, it is time to plaster his plastic surgery ravaged face on anything and everything, in order to squeeze the last remaining jewgold in him. First came two video games, one being the ''Michael Jackson Experience'', a Wii dance game.

The most ambitious project is Planet Michael, a HUEG MMO set within Jacko's World based on his music videos and career. It is not known is players can enter the game as such characters as, Plastic Suregon, Private Doctor, Neverland Maid, Monkey Wrangler, Coffee Enema Administer, Anal Tampon Inserter, Personal Doctor Shopper and the best of all a 12 year old boy.

If this game becomes reality, there is much potential for [[trolling]]. As a consequence, the Patriotic Nigras will probably [[butthurt|shut the servers down within 30 minutes of opening]].

===Fun things to do===

*Go the Neverland as a 12 year old boy.

*Ask when bed time is, when the little had touches the big hand.

*Find Bubbles and give him a spanking.

*Close the pool because it has Aids.

*Raid Neverland, swarm the sim with characters all dressed as police, start asking where the CP is.

[[File:Michaeljacksonepstein .png|250px|thumb|Wacko Jacko posing with [[Epstein|his best friend]].]]
==2026==
A biopic film about his life titled ''Michael'' has been a [[fail|smash hit]]; this and a recently uncovered picture of him hanging with [[Jeffrey Epstein]] have somewhat revived his career and the discussion about it. Most will still call him a pedophile, but others have taken the "heartwarming" acting from Michael's own nephew, Jaafar Jackson, as an argument how he was never actually a pedophile, and is a [[pretty cool guy]] all along.

==Gallery==


{{cg||mjlulzgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Jackson behind tree.jpg|Peekaboo!
Image:MJAWSUM.jpg
Image:Jjj.jpg|OH SHIT HES BACK!
Image:Wacofaggot.jpg|For all the fans
Image:Mjprop8.jpg|Michael Jackson is against [[prop 8|Proposition 8]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Gollum.jpg|Yet another one of Jackson's plastic surgeries.
Image:Jackson_combo.png|A [[combofag|combofag's]] tribute.
File:DoucheyCulkin.jpg|Michael Jackson's penis is responsible for this beard.
Image:Mj_csi.jpg
Image:Peppermentpatti3.jpg|Michael Jackson's YouTube alter-ego, [[PeppermintPatti]].
Image:Freak.jpg|<s>Michael Jackson in the future.</s> Nevermind, he's dead.
Image:de-coca.jpg|The King is dead, long live Pepsi.
Image:Childloveright.jpg|Michael Jackson's beliefs.
Image:Dat ass mj.jpg|MOAR LIEK "[[Dat Ass|Dat LITTLE BOY'S Ass]] [[amirite]]?
Image:Banksy_Fairytalecottage.jpg|Luring children to his gingerbread house.
Image:Naraku & Kohaku.jpg|An [[anime]] Jackson.
Image:Jacksonbabyoutback.jpg|Michael Jackson feeds [[A Dog|the dogs]].
Image:Sneddon.gif|Tom Sneddon, Wacko Jacko [[EPIN]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbqwWLXxWR8]
Image:MJOJlol.jpg|Michael Jackson on his getaway tricycle.
Image:Dancer zombie..png|His future career plans.
Image:Deadjacko1.jpg
Image:PrinceandParisholdinghands.jpg|His son Prince, an obvious troll.
Image:Michael_pokemon_fight.jpg‎|Too bad he didn't have full heal..
Image:Michael jackson versus michael jackson.jpg|Proof Michael has a [[Dolly|clone]].
Image:Sega-genesis-michael-jackson-moonwalker.jpg
Image:Michael jackson spacechannel 5.jpg|MJ about to get some space [[loli]].
Image:Michael-Jackson.gif|He Tried, He Failed.
Image:Jacko_burka.jpg|Picture of [[Pedophile|Jacko]] and its first [[Loli|prey]] in the name of [[Allah|Allah]].
Image:Michael_DeLorenzo-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's illegitimate son.
image:uglybish.jpg|MJ's younger brother.
Image:Elephant man.jpg|"The Elephant Man, after Jackson took his bones."
Image:Nintendo-punch-out-michael-jackson-1.jpg
Image:michael-jackson-mugshot.jpg|remember sex monsters look no different from you and I
Image:Jacksonfurfag.jpg|Michael was also a closet [[furfag]].
Image:Michael-jackson-death-photo-ET.jpg|Who's dead?!
Image:Michael-Jackson-OK-cover.jpg
Image:Michael Jackson killer revealed.png|The prophecy.
Image:KFC_Michael_Jackson_APPROVES.jpg
Image:Jacksons shota commission.jpg|Michael Jackson's commissioned [[shotacon]].
Image:DeceasedMichaelJackson dontsueplz.jpg|Goodnight sweet prince
Image:Jackoappears.png|[[A challenger appears]].
Image:Michael_Jackson_-_Face_Mask.jpg
File:Michael Jackson drinking vodka with two dwarves.png
File:MJ.aids.album.jpg
File:Jackson Calm Down.jpg
File:MJ Clown.jpg
File:Celebrity-1-michael-jackson.jpg
File:I,Rape2.jpg
File:Goodnight jacko1.jpg
</gallery>|}}

==External Links==
[[Image:Mjapproves1.jpg|thumb]]
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJackson|Michael Jackson's Official YouTube (still active)}}
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJacksonsPenis|Micheal Jackson's Official 2nd YouTube Profile}}
* [http://mjackson.freevar.com/ Stupid ass MJ website with forum to spam and make fun of] - Website went belly up.
* [http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Cheeto-That-Foretold-Michael-Jacksons-Future_W0QQitemZ290327044439QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398d72157&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 The Cheeto That Foretold Michael Jacksons Future] Amongst the [[crapflood]] of Jacko memorabilia available on eBay. Dead link, no archives.
* [http://cgi.ebay.com/Hot-cheetos-Michael-Jackson-Moonwalk-Thriller-Fun_W0QQitemZ290325355042QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398bd5a22&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12|66%3A2|39%3A1|72%3A1205|240%3A1318|301%3A0|293%3A1|294%3A50 Michael Jackson Moonwalk Cheeto.]
* [http://www.michaeljacksondeath.net First site up within minutes of his death, goodjob.]
* [http://comments.deviantart.com/2/84273/1106426757 First person to PURELY FUCKING OWN HIM after death.]
* [http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html The History of Michael Jackson's face.]
* [http://www.forartist.com/forensic/modification/mj/jackson.htm Computer generated image of how Jacko would look if he never had plastic surgery.]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakira_discography Another person who bleached their skin. Compare the earliest album to the later ones.]
* [http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/mj-credit-card/ Pranksters pull a fast one - one pretends to be MJ and vomits all over the window of a Victoria's Secret.]
*[http://williambader.com/mj.html '''Michael Jackson jokes''']
* [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7816771/ Memories]
* [http://jackobubbles.ytmnd.com/ Jacko's Morning routine]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5KmXleS1wg&feature=related Rapper's Jacko diss set to ''South Park'' clips.]
* [http://www.nicenetruth.com/home/2009/06/flashback-2003-michael-jackson-paid-150k-for-voodoo-curse-on-spielberg-geffen.html?cid=6a00e54f0bd8738834011570944f5b970c Michael Jackson once paid to have a voodoo curse put on Steven Spielberg for not casting him in the movie Hook as <s>pedo</s> Peter Pan, Jackson's demise once and for all proves that Jews > Voodoo]
* [[Love_Shy#Advanced_2|Facial feminization surgery guinea pig]]

===Sites approved by Michael Jackson, '''not directly related'''===
*[http://www.nvhentai.com Wacko Jacko's secret stash!]
*[http://doujinland.com/ Doujinland.com] - Sure to contain '''lots and lots''' of [[sick fuck|sick fuckery]].
*[http://www.notfourchan.net not4chan]

{{portals|music|gay|youtube|trolls}}
{{Pedoseries}}
{{FakeRape}}
{{blackpeople}}
{{Otherkin}}

{{Timeline|Featured article June 26, [[2009]]|[[Online Blackjack]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Beccah Beushausen]]}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now June 10 and 12, [[2026]]|[[Tom Pearl]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

[[Category:2009]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Corpses]]

Michael Jackson

2026-06-10T16:47:47Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Tag

{{spoiler|THE BIOPIC WORKED AND NOW ZOOMERS THINK HE DIDN'T FUCK KIDS}}
{{spoiler|[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32542682/ns/entertainment-music/ MICHAEL JACKSON WAS MURDERED]}}
{{cleanup}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Hanson exploitable fixed.png|50px]] </div>
{{Epstein}}
[[Image:Thehorror.jpg|thumb|right|[[Perfection Girl|YOU ARE FAPPING TO A DEAD GUY, ENJOY!]]]]
[[Image:Pedojackson.jpg|thumb|[[Star Wars|The student must now become the master...]]]]
[[Image:diana napolis.jpg|thumb|right|Computer generated approximation of what [[Michael Jackson]] would look like at 50 had he stayed black.]]

{{quote|<big>'''>:/'''</big>|[[Joseph Fritzl]]}}
'''Michael Jackson'''{{Boylover}}, or '''Wacko Jacko''' was a 50-year-old (if not dead, would've been a {{age|1958|08|29}}-year old) Albino [[manchild]] and alleged pedofag from the northwestern part of [[Indiana]] that is literally almost near [[Chicago]] who found fame and fortune as a homosexual pederast and so became a poster boy for [[NAMBLA]]. He could also sing and dance like an organ grinder's monkey. Born as a small black boy into a large family of singing and dancing chimps, he eventually struck out on his own to [[Carlton|turn into a white]] [[tranny]] version of Diana Ross, travel around the world [[shotacon|luring young boys]], monkeys and [[Birdman|Elephant Men]] to slumber parties at his very own castle, Neverland, and to prove once and for all that when [[buttsecks|the big hand touches the little hand]], it's time to get the fuck right outta there!

On June 25th, 2009 Wacko Jacko was [[buttsecks|playing doctor]] with his personal aesthetician after a hard day rehearsing for an upcoming tour and after nagging the shit out of the poor IRL doctor about not being able to sleep, keeled over from an overdose of the hospital-grade elephant tranquilliser Diprivan (or "[[drugs|milk]]" to Jacko). Yes, that's right, [[great justice]] finally had its day as Jackson was put down by the [[death|Grim Ræper]] for being the [[pedobear|damn dirty ape]] he is via lethal injection. Jackson's highly polished exo-skeleton will be stuffed with robotics and placed on display at Disney's Hall of Presidents.

Long rumoured to be the leading cause of ejaculations in [[underage ban]]s, it wasn't until 2003 that the long arm of the law touched Jacko inappropriately when one of his many victims' mothers revealed lurid description of Jacko's [[cock|wedding tackle]] after he ran out of [[bribery|hush money]]. Despite being legally a [[white]] woman, '''Captain EO''' played [[The Race Card|the race card]] like [[OJ]] in his/her 2003 pedophilia trial.

Amongst the train wreckage of a life full of batshit crazy behaviour, he leaves a legacy that includes being the author of [[W]]'s controversial '''No Child's Behind Left''' plan and saving humanity from the [[Beatles]] voluminous catalogue of songs (after outbidding [[Paul McCartney]] for the [[Jew gold|publishing rights]]) by preventing iTunes from offering said drek to the public.

Always a controversial figure, he will nonetheless be fondly remembered for the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" on live TV at [[Football|Super Bowl XXXVIII]] on February 1, 2004 in which he exposed his penis to Justin Timberlake during the half-time show

He is survived by [[wikipedia:Bubbles_(chimpanzee)|Bubbles the chimp]], the Elephant Man's remains, several children called [[true|Blanket]], a [[cumdumpster|surrogate babymamma]], Macauley Culkin, Stephen Spielberg, [http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-michael-jackson31-2009may31,0,1441957.story a mountain of debt], and the joke:

'''Q:''' What do Michael Jackson and KMart have in common?
'''A.''' Little boys' pants half off!

He will be missed by children everywhere for so many will never know the sweet caress of Michael Jackson's gloved hand.

[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Head_On_Fire.gif|right|thumb|200px|Proof that thinking about child rape too long will make your Soul-Glo ignite.]]
[[Image:Mj advice.jpg|thumb|[[Advice dog|Advice]] from Jacko]]
[[Image:MJBubbles2.gif|thumb|right|500px|Jacko's morning routine]]
[[Image:Michael fritzl.jpg|thumb|[[Josef Fritzl]] is Bad Michael Jackson.]]
[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|right|Celebrities are more important than [[You|You]].]]
[[Image:MJ_I_Rape.jpg|thumb|right|Jackson stars in his own feature length documentary movie ''I Rape''.]]
[[Image:Creepyposter.jpg|thumb|This [[demotivator]] courtesy of Neverland Ranch.]]
[[Image:Goodshow.jpg|thumb|right|MJ's death pleases the [[Juliana Wetmore|Elephant Man]].]]
[[Image:Bubbles_gun.jpg|thumb|Bubbles' gangsta rap album]]
[[Image:Blowing_bubbles.jpg|thumb|It is a well known fact that chimps are a gateway drug to [[13-year-old boys]].]]
[[Image:Wackajackson.jpg|thumb|Wacka wacka wacka jackson]]
[[Image:Pedo bear-jackson.jpg|thumb]]

==Life At Home==

MJ originally constructed for himself the perfect [[tool]] for drawing in his preferred cuisine: an amusement park where children "never grow up" and "[[DO NOT WANT|don't want]] to go to school". It was his primary romp for years until people realized that a grown man running a theme park for children all by himself was a little [[creepy]]. Jacko closed his own pool after his rape trial, moving back to [[Whore]]lywood with the intent to rebuild his fondle-factory in Berlin. Just thinking about plump little [[Prussian Blue|blue-eyed blond-haired Nazi children]] made Jacko drool so much his lips fell off: it was that or too much plastic surgery and amazing [[gay|buttsecks]] with Macaulay Culkin whom he had [[molested|fiddled]] the hell out of for many years after his copy of "Home Alone" on VHS(a.k.a. Exhibit C) became recognizable only as the worlds most valuable container of Jacko [[spooge|spunk]].

He lived with his a myriad of prepubescent servants and his [http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/10/09/2007-10-09_michael_jackson_nanny_fighting_lupus_alo.html Nanny with lupus]. [[Poland#Tourism|He has also expressed his wish to move to Poland]] and live in a castle purchased there, although he may have been unaware that the country's demographics were not ideal, having fewer young boys than girls.

=="Thriller" or "I'm a [[pedobear|pedophile]], put me in jail"==
[[Image:Wackojacko.jpg|thumb|200px|right|This is a picture from his music video, "Thriller". Also known as one of the last times he needed makeup to look like a zombie.]]
Years before Jackson was first accused of liking kids too much, he recorded a [[WIN|HIT]] album where all his plans and intentions where clearly stated. The album was released by [[EPIC|Epic records]] (for real) but before they released the album they decided to change some of the title songs, so as to make Jackson's intentions less obvious. '''Bolded''' are the words that were deleted:
# "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' '''(With That Young Boy)'''" – 6:02
# "Baby '''(Boy)''' Be Mine" – [[Weed|4:20]]
# "The '''([[Underage]])''' Girl Is Mine" – 3:42
# "'''(Chasing After [[Loli]] [[Ass]] Sure Is a) '''Thriller" – 5:57
# "'''(I'll Show You How To)''' [[Masturbation|Beat It]]" – 4:17
# "Billie Jean: '''(An 8 Year Old Can't Be Pregnant)'''" – 4:57
# "Human Nature: '''(I'm Just God's Messenger)'''" – 4:05
# "P.Y.T. (Pretty <s>Young</s> '''Underage''' Thing) " – 3:58
# "The '''([[Loli]])''' in My Life" – 4:12

==The Elephant Man==

Jackson was also an [[Trolling IRL|IRL Troll]] and had created many "false" stories about himself, apparently to see if he could "control" the media, a plan that would unfortunately backfire on him, [[LOL WUT|such as sleeping in an oxygen chamber to prolong his life, and buying a sex toy]]. Another notable event occurred in the [[1980|Mid-1980]]'s where Michael Jackson tried to purchase the skeleton of Joseph Merrick, aka the Elephant Man. He ultimately failed to obtain the skeleton. When asked the reason for his fagging, Michael Jackson stated that "it was mostly for the [[lulz]]". [[Some argue|People suspect]] however, that it was in fact not for the lulz but for [[necrophilia|other recreational activities]].

==Movie Career==

In addition to starring in '''Moonwalker''' and hundreds of music videos, at the time of his death, Michael Jackson was in pre-production on a prequel to Hustler's popular '''Barely Legal''' series.

===Moonwalker===

A series of films, including a bunch of shotas reenacting "Bad", but the only notable part of this film is the half hour long "Smooth Criminal" video, where Michael Jackson fights Joe Pesci from Home Alone, an evil supervillian who wants to '''get kids hooked on drugs''', but even worse, '''end prayer in schools.''' Naturally MJ takes offense to this, dances around, turns into a car, dances some more, '''shoots a guy while dancing with hookers''', then rescues the kiddies. But then he disappears into the night sky. Just like E.T. The kiddies cry on a street corner.

But then MJ comes back. Just like he did in real life.

===Ghosts===

Half an hour of Michael Jackson wearing extensive makeup to look like a fat white dude who accuses Michael Jackson of being a freak who corrupts children. To which Michael Jackson dances around with ghouls. Wow. That'll convince any skeptic of your sanity.

==Bubbles==
{{quote|Now that he's dead, who's gonna blow Bubbles?|[[Anon]]}}

{{tinyquote|Bubbles is more fun than a lot of people I know. I saw Bubbles at a wedding in a tux. He has great table manners.|Quincy Jones|[[truth|defending chimpmongling]]}}

After failing to secure a [[negro|bag of bones to stick his dick into]], Jacko purchased a chimpanzee called Bubbles to stick his dick into. As is well known, chimps love nothing better than to sit around masturbating between displays of fæces hurling and Jacko thought that slipping his own dick (which was not yet white and hairless) in would be a cinch. At first it was, so Bubbles became an entourage of one, Jacko's confidante and [[BFF]], accompanying him to [[torture|recording sessions]] and music videos shoots. On the road they shared a hotel bed and Jacko's wardrobe.

Life at home was sweet for both primates, with Bubbles and Jacko sharing a bedroom at [[Gaia|Neverland]]. Bubbles was fully toilet trained and allowed to use Jacko's private crapper but was often seen sitting in a crib wearing a diaper to satisfy Jacko's [[infantilism|diaper fetish]].
Historically,bedtime at Neverland Ranch was always when the big hand touched the little hand.

Sadly, in 2003, Bubbles was kicked to the curb after his [[shota|little hand]] grew too big for the [[pedo|big hand]] -anyone watching Law & Order: SVU know that this is classic pedo behavior. Also, with the arrival of Jacko's first [[IRL]] child, Prince Michael 1, Bubbles had outlived his usefulness.

Jacko justified the breakup and dumping Bubbles on the chimp's overly aggressive love making style where Bubbles had reversed his traditional position as the '[[masochist|bottom]]' in sexual relations to being the '[[sadist|top]]'. [[TL;DR]], Bubbles was now [[buttsecks|assraping]] Jacko as opposed to Jacko assraping Bubbles.

Jacko blamed [[Prince]] [http://prince.org/msg/7/38797 claiming that] he had used [[ESP]] to turn Bubbles batshit insane saying:

{{tinyquote|"[[Jacko|What kind of sicko would mess with a monkey?]] This is the final straw. Poor, poor Bubbles."|Jacko}}

Today, Bubbles has lived at many places since his failed attempt to assassinate Prince Michael and failed attempt to [[an hero]]. He lives in an animal sanctuary where he has a new best friend, [[Assrape|Sam: A 40 Year Old Chimpanzee nicknamed Bubba. Now Bubbles will have many nights of tender tender love making, just like the old days]].

In a special by Animal Planet, sister La Toya Jackson came to visit the chimp and exchanged tearful words. Yes, she is actually talking to a monkey...

<center>
'''To a monkey'''
<youtube>e4ZRkS5GWj8</youtube>
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==Early Life==

Jackson's early life was full of [[child abuse|moonbeams and happy times]]. Father, Joe Jackson, would give all Jackson children encouragement to pursue their [[pedophile|dreams]] and [[jailbait|desires]] by having hurtful buttsecks that left a deep impression on young Michael. Michael's bizarre unrelenting hatred of Steven Spielberg, going into fits of rage whenever Steven would win an Oscar, which was often, can only be explained by the fact that he was Steven's bitchboi before being passed along as a used cumbucket among the Hollywood elite.

<center>
<youtube>27w9cYOOiWc</youtube>

The Jackson family during the early days.
</center>

==Pedo Trials: Part 1 of 2==
[[Image:HomeAloneMJ.jpg|thumb|In his prime.]]
[[Image:Alien-vs-predator-michael-jackson.jpg|thumb]]
In 1993, Jacko was tried for being a [[pedo]] after a [[13-year-old boy]] called '''[[An_Hero|Jordan]] [[Chris-chan|Chandler]]''' accused him of putting the big hand on the little penis, kissing him, face-fucking him and [[fapping]] in front of him, with a detailed description of Jacko's junk. His info was so precise, he even pinpointed where the vitiligo splotches were, the length of the performer's pubes and that he was a Jew, while he was in Monaco to be given 8 more awards at the World Music Awards. Throughout the show Jacko was sitting next to the Prince of Monaco with Jordan on his lap, bouncing him on his knee whilst whispering "Rubba" into his ear. No one thought that Jacko was a sick fuck.

Jacko, being too much of a pussy to have a trial, settled the case by giving the accuser's family over 20 million dollars. [[Some argue|Some say]] that this was proof of him being guilty. Others say that he couldn't be tried because of his health (spoiler alert: he was a drug addict). Now, had this been the extent of Jacko's allegations people would have left him alone, but the damn bastard couldn't stop himself from fucking...

==Pedo Trials: Part 2 out of 2==
{{quote|Another kid? That's like another dead white woman showing up at O.J.'s house, and O.J. going 'I know what you're thinking...'|Chris Rock}}
After making a jackass of himself in a documentary, Jacko gets accused of more molestation in 2003. This was the final blow to his career. The accuser was a former cancer patient who had his [[Pwnt|spine removed]] at a young age and his final words were to Michael Jackson. His wish came true and he was told to be ready to die in a few weeks, but after he met Michael, he was saved. [[Truth|Michael Jackson sucking your cock cures cancer]].

A trial finally ensued and it ended with Jacko being found innocent, before being [[BTFO]] to Bahrain.

[[Some argue|It has been scientifically estimated]] that the next molestation by Jacko would have occured in 2013, should he have been alive by then.

[[Image:Jesusjuice.jpg|thumb|Vintage Jacko lubrication]]
[[Image:Spotted-dick.jpg|thumb|MJ's junk in a can]]
[[Image:Michael_jackson.jpg|thumb]]
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===Quotable===

{{quote|I believe this charity single could still generate lots of money to help those in need. Why shouldn’t it come out? Because of something I did in the past? This is an industry in which rock stars date porno queens. Adult film doesn’t have the same stigma it used to. So, really, what’s their excuse?!|F. Marc Schaffel is coming to his own defense on word that Michael Jackson’s [[911]] charity single "What More Can I Give" isn’t being released because of his porno directing past.}}

==Jacko's Kids==
Michael Jackson's kids (the ones he ''had'' as opposed those which he "had"), who are all completely white, are (obviously) [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/michael-jackson/5706071/Michael-Jackson-not-biological-father-of-his-children.html not his biological children]. In fact, the biological father is widely known to be Mark Lester, the blond-haired former child actor who played Oliver in a [[gay]] musical movie.

Looking at Lester's childhood photo, which seems to fit the image of Jackson's ideal sex partner, one need not wonder how Jacko's children were being used.

Moreover, it appears that not only did Jacko not sire even one of his children, he never formally adopted them either. This case alone is grounds to have him posthumously prosecuted for kidnapping. [http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/07/01/michael-jacksons-will-filed-in-court-neverland-memorial-unlikely/ In his will], he left custody of the kids to [[Sheneequa|Diana Ross]].

{{quote|Daddy's Clowning!|One of the kids, further proving that he loves using kids.}}

{{cg|Gallery|gallery1|center|<gallery>
Image:Mark_lester-current.jpg|Mark Lester, the kids' godfather, is the biological father.
Image:Mark_lester-1968.jpg|Mark Lester in 1968 as the title character in the fagtastic musical Oliver!
Image:Michael_jackson_south_park.jpg|Jacko and his kids.
Image:mj.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #1 aka Macaulay
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Jackson_kid-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #2
Image:Jackson_kid-2.jpg|[[Jailbait|Michael Jackson's kid #3]]
Image:Sq-michael-baby-balcony-cnn.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #4 aka [[WTF|'''Blanket''']]
Image:Jacko_and_cartman.jpg|Michael Jackson's kid #5 aka [[Cartman]]
Image:Michaelomer.jpg|Papa Joe's thoughts on Michael Jackson's kid #6
</gallery>}}

==The Mask of Pedo==
On December 13th, 2008, Michael Jackson reappeared in the spotlight using an [[nice try|old trick]] from Elizabeth Taylor/Liza Minnelli to gain sympathy from his fans by faking a mental illness. This time it took the form of what could be best described as dressing up like a Bollywood version of Zorro.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:mj_zorro_child_hunt.jpg
Image:mj_zorro_the_finger.jpg
Image:mj_zorro_false_alarm.jpg
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</center>

=='''This Is [[shit|It]]!''': The Comeback==
[[Image:Jacko_hulk.jpg|thumb|Jacko trains with the [[Hulk]] for his one city 'tour'.]]
{{quote|When I say this is it, it really means this is it.|Jacko, exposing himself in front of millions of horny fans|March 2009}}

In March 2009, Jacko announced that he would be playing live again for the first time in 12 years with a 50 day residence at [[Londonistan]]'s '''O2''' arena starting in July. Strapped for attention, he planned to revive his rotting career and make hueg amounts of [[Jew Gold]] to pay off his mountain of debt. He also needed fresh, young meat to feed his ravenous appetite for [[shota]]; his kids had grown so old they now revolted him so much he'd stopped getting protein from them and was so incredibly [[pro-ana|frail and underweight]] that nobody really noticed, since he always looked like that.

With a cash advance from the '''O2''' and a firm of [[jews|venture capitalists]] called '''AEG''' he set about trying to get into shape for the gruelling '''tour'''. He rented out [[LA]]'s Staples Center for full dress-rehearsals and hired [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2481286/Michael-Jackson-is-being-trained-by-Lou-Ferrigno.html the Incredible Hulk] to whip him into shape. The rehearsals were filmed and have been fashioned into a sloppy motion picture. Jacko's attention-seeking family claimed that a body double was used, but nobody gave a shit. As nobody gave a shit about the movie to begin with.

{{ytplus|Jackson Rehearsing For Surprise Comeback Performance 7/7/09|<center><youtube>mdVTbU9q0Lc</youtube></center>|Do it now before they grow up and it's too late!|[http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/ggallin/exposeyourselftokids.html Lyrics from the video rehearsal]}}
===THIS IS WIN===
It is now reported that Sony and AEG, in an attempt to cash in on Jacko's postmortem sales jump and salvage what they invested in Jacko for this tour, are going to, through the magic of editing, cobble together 80 hours of footage shot during the rehearsals of the tour to make an entirely incoherent film about Jacko's final days. The price tag of the film is reported to be at least $50 million.

==Death==

[[Image:Mjinvincible.jpg|thumb|Jacko's last studio album: [[irony|''Invincible'']]]]
[[Image:Goodnight_jacko.jpg|thumb|October 2007: /[[b]]/ called it. [[Goodnight sweet prince|Goodnight Shotacat]].]]
[[Image:HHHHHHHNNNGGGGGMJ2.JPG|thumb|right|An ironic twist to an [[HNG|old meme.]]]]
[[Image:Coincidentally.jpg|thumb|right|Anal cancer claims two more lives.]]
[[Image:DEADjacko.jpg|thumb|The cover of [[Pedophile|Jacko's]] re-release of the album ''BAD''.]]
[[Image:Michaels heart.jpg|thumb|Mj's temple of doom]]
[[Image:Chartattack.jpg|thumb|right|[[O RLY?]]]]
[[Image:MichealjacksonJackieChan.jpg|thumb|DO NOT WANT gook!!]]
[[Image:Jjj.jpg|thumb|right|OH SHIT HES BACK!]]
On Thursday, June 25th, 2009, Michael Jackson died in the act of lovemaking, having a [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]]. This is considered one of the best ways to go, preferable to rotting in an old folks home or dying of cancer. The young boy who Jackson was making love to at the time called paramedics; his name was not released. Most news agencies omitted this fact, leaving a mystery of who called paramedics when Michael Jackson was unconscious at the time. Regardless, Jacko was clearly [[I'm on my bee|not on his bee]].

The compassionate, humanitarian brain-trust /[[b]]/ was quick to exploit it with endless threads featuring the [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart attack]] meme and Michael Jackson photoshops. His dying wish was to donate his [[cock|organ]] to a sick child (so that his [[Penis|organ]] would forever be inside a child).

[http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-dies-death-dead-cardiac-arrest TMZ] reported the initial diagnosis was that Jacko died from [[HNG|cardiac arrest]] caused by a massive cocktail of drugs including Dilaudid, Vicodin, Soma, Xanax, Zoloft, Paxil for anxiety and heartburn pill Prilosec administered by a nigger doctor. The Los Angeles coroner's office has deferred Jacko's inquest awaiting toxicology tests and to provide ample time for the media shitstorm to rage on for a week or two. Shortly thereafter, [[Jesse Jackson]] appeared on [[CNN]] calling for a full and thorough investigation of the facts and Jacko's live-in doctor (who, it was reported, had gone on the lam) suggesting that this was <big>MURDER!</big> He then called for [[OJ]] to be released from jail since he's an expert in tracking down the [[CIA|real killers]].

While it has since been confirmed that he had a heart attack in the ER, initial reports were of a stroke in the Pediatrics wing.

Meanwhile [[CNN]] reported Vanillaface moonwalked off this mortal coil. [[Fark]] reported that he had just begun work on ''Thriller 2: Electric Boogaloo!'' Though his heart is no longer beating, Disney has inspected the body and declared that the high quality plastic exterior makes him a great candidate for animatronics. The same news report told how he was planning to rekindle his popularity, but the only thing he accomplished was becoming the first [[wigger|white black person]] to die of something besides gunfire.

Because Jacko is dead, it is impossible to determine exactly how uncountably many children he sodomized at the Neverland Ranch, as well as everywhere else.

On 28 August, 2009 a Los Angeles Coroner ruled the death of Michael Jackson a [[AIDS|homo]]cide[http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/28/jackson.autopsy/index.html].
[[Image:Pedo mourn 2.png|thumb|right| [[lie|Pedobear mourns the loss.]]]]
[[Image:Pedo bearsmall.png|thumb|right| Good night. ]]

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===Reaction===
<center>
{{morphquote|mqtest1|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;;
|Keep your tickets. This is all a setup for the best performance of Thriller ever.|[[Perez Hilton]]

|Is he even biodegradable???|A bewildered [[hippy|environmentalist]]

|Michael Jackson didn't die of a heart attack, he got food poisoning from eating nine year old nuts.|MJ's coroner

|For the first time ever, we will meet our quota on carbon-emissions for the Kyoto Protocol, thanks to his brave sacrifice.|Barack Obama

|You can't throw him away or cremate him as that would contribute to global warming.The best thing to do is recycle his body for the future use of Joan Rivers.|Fox News

|Run, cherubs, run!|God

|Thursday June 25th 2009: Dear Diary, today I got a new roommate...|[[Heath Ledger]]

|WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!|[[Alex Jones|Micheal Jackson death denier]]

|He just went for Baby Jesus|Grief-stricken /[[b]]/tard

|I think [[Chimpmongler]] is a [[pretty cool guy]]. eh diddles shota and doesn't afraid of [[Chris Hansen]]|[[anon]]

|Basketball will never be the same again |/b/tard

|Why must I cry?!?!|rehdogg

|This article is bad and ED should feel bad.|[[User:faggot|StarCadet]]

|Michael you left such a legacy on this earth, have touched SO MANY!!!|Kelly Rowland
|}}
</center>

The Jews being the two-faced, money grubbing scum that they are, suddenly had newfound respect for Jacko. It turns out after [[Lulz|making many cruel jokes at his expense, stealing as much of his money as they could, and publicly humiliating him]], [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|they decided to just sweep all the nasty things they said under a rug and act like it never happened]]. As overwrought outpourings of unconditional love for the Gloved One rained down upon the masses from all and sundry, [[b|/b/]] remained the sole voice of reason in the tragedy, celebrating this living embodiment of [[Shotacat]]'s life and death, creating [[meme]]s in their indomitable style. Meanwhile, faggotry reigned the day on the likes of [[Shitter]], [[YouTube]], [[Facebook]] and blog after blog after blog.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten how [[shocked & appalled]] they were back when Jacko was on trial for molesting [[shota]]. People posted tributes and childhood memories, songs and vidyas of how important '''The King of Pop''' had been in their lives and how he'd provided the soundtrack to the indiscretions of youth; that first mugging (Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'), that first [[fap]] (Beat It), that first child molestation (Pretty Young Thing).

It's almost as if they could maybe one day overlook the [[Holocaust]] and give another [[Hitler|tortured artist with issues]] the props he surely deserved for being an inspiring leader, brilliant economist, terrific orator, a non-smoking [[dogmongler|animal lover]] with a keen eye for graphic design and style who also got the trains to run on time.

MJ cockmonglers have responded by locking themselves in cupboards, self-mutilation, Jacko tattoos, and [[Baww|BAWWWWWing]] about how the world is a cruel and violent place, subsequently expressing the desire to assault people who don't think or act as they demand. Scientists have concluded that the universe does not revolve around these [[asspies]].

[[Billy Mays]], who was also 50 years old, responded three days later with [[:Image:Billy Mays Last Words.jpg|his own drug-induced heart attack.]] Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in another for free.

You can [[Rape|help]] out the tremulous Jacko pirates by sacking their tree house of precious, underaged booty:

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'''[[Psychopath|Some people]] were glad he died'''
</center>

The phrase "Fuck that nigger Michael Jackson" was said a total of 9 times during the above movie.
[http://www.mjfanclub.net/mjforum373/index.php '''The Well of Untapped Lulz ''']:

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{{morphquote|mqtest5|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;

|I was stuck on register on Friday. The customers ask "so how are you today?" I just wanted to punch every single one.|Jacko fanboy on pacifism

|I am having the worst time at work. These people that I thought of like family are stabbing me in the back. My boss, who I followed from another job,and a co-worker whom I never suspected could be so cruel, basically told me that my grief was irrelevent compaired to what other people go though and that I had no right to be upset because I didn't know him personally. How dare they invalidate how I'm feeling!?|Jacko fanboy on narcissism

|God I've just started crying all over again more than I ever had. I dunno what to do with myself I don't seem to be bothered about anything. Yesterday I had a thought that I wouldn't care if I was to die cos I'd be with Michael. I can't get over this I'm so depressed and confused. Every where I turn there's something Michael related. I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying for the rest of my life but I've read enough books that always give the message that if someone dies you need to try and move on with your life but I can't|Jacko fanboy on being a hedgehog

|I just don't know how I can go on living without the love of my life. Michael was everything to me. I just feel so numb and sick. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. It just feels like I'm stuck in a sick and twisted nightmare that I can't wake from. My whole world has just collapsed. I need someone to talk to.|Jacko fanboy on being ronery

|There was a parade in San Francisco, which I did not go to because I probably would have kick somebody being surrounded by pesudo fans. I'm past the sad grieving phase of my despair its now just anger. I hate how everyone is suddenly a "fan" of his once he dies, now everybody wants all his CDs, how everybody realizes what a musical genius he was. What about those who have been there since DAY ONE? I guess it's better than people being hateful but...UGH....they're all so FAKE. They didn't love him. I can't even stand to listen to them speak his name because they're all unworthy, just because you used to listen to Thriller when you were 4 doesnt make you a fan. Apart from this site I can't listen to anybody talk about him, I couldnt even finishing reading LMP's statement...Not everyone is a fake but...UGH, I dunno....|Jacko fanboy on elitism
|}}
</center>

Ozfags were particularly [[butthurt]] and authorities had to set up a [[self-pwn]] hotline after reports surfaced of [http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25712012-5019114,00.html numerous faggots committing suicide].

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==Trolling==
{{quote| I wish Bill Cosby or some other [[Black Jesus|'beloved' celeb]] would [[Win|die]] so we could get a break from all this Wacko Jacko coverage. Wait...[[No|is Bill Cosby alive?]]|Facebook post - [[Billy Mays|be careful what you wish for]]}}

[[Image:Trolling facebook.png|thumb|[[Godwin's Law|For the (God)win!]]]]
[[Image:Headline.jpg|thumb|right|[[Typical]] British headline.]]
In the meantime, you can help by trolling people on the Internets with mock outrage at all this praise for Jacko and comparing him to Hitler. Go to someone's virtual [[Facebook]] shrine and leave comments to ''their'' comments feigning disgust that someone would sweep Jacko's [[shota|crimes against humanity]] under the rug. Tell them they probably spent his pedo trial damning him to Hell and if not, ask them if they would let their kids sleep over at [[basement|Neverland]] or hang out with [[Josef Fritzl|Uncle Josef]]. Tell them that Hitler was a brilliant motivational speaker and a seriously snappy dresser.

Most people won't take the bait because they know it's true: Jacko was a [[sick fuck]]. But some will puff up their e-chests and rise to his defense: this is when you accuse them of hypocrisy and double standards. Ask why they hate children so much and how come molestation is okay when the perpetrator is a celebrity. If they [[BAW|BAAAAAW]] that you're out of line, admit that yes, you're sorry, comparing Jacko to Hitler is a terrible insult to Hitler.

Another effective trolling technique is to liberally apply mock outrage at both the fact that he is to be memorialized and that the huge tribute is to be paid for by your hard-earned tax dollars. Since the [[Arnold|State of Collyfornia]] is now [[bailout plan|bankrupt and issuing IOUs to pay for most services]] this adds [[flame|fuel to the fire]]. It has been estimated that police overtime needed for security at the memorial in downtown LA will cost $2,000,000 alone and ''[[you]]'' are going to be paying for it.

Comments such as:

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{{morphquote|mqtest6|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;
|I don't get it. Why don't they dig up [[Jeffrey Dahmer]] and throw ''him'' a party. Hell, let's give Saddam Hussein a party; he had [[Basement|rape rooms]] too!|troll
|Yeah. Fritzl too. At least [[Josef Fritzl]] raped his own children.|troll bait
|Hey did Mike fuck your wife or something? You sounding like its personal.|[[butthurt]] Jacko fanboy
|My wife wasn't his type...she was female and older than 12.|[[OP]]
|LA can't even afford to hire any new cops or fire fighters and they're going to pay for a party to honor a pedophile? I for one will not be paying my taxes this year.|troll
|Yes Michael Jackson, make that scream ("AHEE-HEE!") while I rape your asshole and jack you off. Your rectum becomes swollen and starts bleeding you little cumslut. Then I slit your throat, lick your blood, and rape your throat hole while you ejaculate in ecstasy. I ram my fork in your eye and force you to eat it while you weep for mercy. I pour Girugamesh into your eye sockets, and inject you with pure, liquid Gaymen, so that you feel the agony for all eternity. Now that was only the warm up round. Now I begin to insert a mace-like needle, grafted from the claws of Cthulu, that has been laid on the surface of lava from Mount Doom into your urethra. Michael Jackson has gone into Terry Schiavo mode. He has to live out the rest of eternity in agony without the privilege of resisting his maker. Your friends and family can't save you Michael. I've thrown them into the Great Pit of Carkoon; where they shall be slowly digested in the Sarlacc's belly for over a thousand years.|The Bruce Campbell of Trolling Copypasta
|}}
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===[[Trolling IRL]]===
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{{quote|Let's knock out the [[harbl|psychobabble]]. He was a pervert, a child molester, a pedophile. What does giving this much coverage to him say about us as a country? I just think we're too politically correct.|[http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/06/new-york-congressman-blasts-jackson-pervert-low-life/ Rep. Peter King (R) New York]}}

===Trolling YouTube Comments===
<center>'''''See video comments'''''</center>
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{{frame|{{fv|faggotnigger|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>_Xeb13J8vGE</youtube>
|<youtube>m8JwjqPhDIw</youtube>
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|<youtube>_Xeb13J8vGE</youtube>
|<youtube>KY16HNboAMQ</youtube>
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{{cg|Le Jaque Waquette|jackowackomocklogallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Jackson dead.jpg
Image:Hurk.JPG
Image:MJ_dying_turn_you_on.jpg
Image:mj_csi.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Mj_king_of_b.jpg|LOL black person can't be kings!
Image:BlackWhiteBlue.jpg
Image:RIP MJ June25th 09.JPG
Image:Goodnight-thread.png|[[B|/b/]] can predict the future...[[goodnight sweet prince]]!
Image:Leave MJ alone.jpg|We need to leave the pedo faggot nigger zombie alone.
Image:Jackson 4 returning.jpg|Did you know the Jackson FOUR are getting back together?
Image:Popicon.jpg|Jacko was a pop icon.
Image:Pedobear mourning.png|[[Pedobear|I'll keep his legacy alive!]]
</gallery>}}

==[[Perez Hilton]], first responder==

As news of Jacko's death reached [[Perez Hilton]], Perez set about what Perez does best: showing that, as gay as he gets, he can always get even gayer. He made a blog post claiming that Jacko was just faking it to get out of contractual obligations. This caused abundant butthurt and threats of violence so Hilton tried to backtrack and apologise for the fag-on-fag violence. This wasn't enough for some misguided, gay anons who called for a raid on Hilton (see: [[Talk:Michael Jackson]]). A fallout from this gay Operation Thriller faggotry is expected and leading expert [[tfo]] will bring you news when it happens.

[[Image:Michaeladvison.jpg|thumb|right|Michael Jackson plays a large role in the ''Half-Life'' series, known as the Michael Advison.]]

[[Image:Jacksonhollowmansequel.jpg|thumb|right|In 2009, Michael Jackson set out to create a new image, this time of a movie star. His breakthrough role was in a low-budget sequel to a popular horror film.]]

[[Image:Mj.png|thumb|ACCESS DENIED LOL =[]]

[[Image:Perez hilton mariofailsitlols.jpg|center|1000px]]

==[[Conspiracy Theories]]==
[[Image:Mj glove.jpg|thumb|right|[[Domestic_violence|Does the King of Pop need to smack a bitch?]]]]

===Pepsi did it===
PepsiCo. tried but failed to defoliate Jacko's [[Don Imus|nappy head]] with napalm [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZnUI8tfKjg during the filming of a Pepsi commercial] in the '[[80s]], so Jacko turned to the painkillers which would eventually be similar to the drugs rumored to cause his death. Additionally, when the contract ended with him, Pepsi's stock market fell for a while, ergo, Pepsi did it.

===Rock Band did it===
''Rock Band Unplugged'' had the song "ABC" by The Jackson 5 on it. Michael Jackson was 11 when the song was released. 11 days after the release of the game, he died.

===[http://www.adl.org/PresRele/ASUS_12/2460_12.asp Jews did it]===
{{quote|Michael Jackson has an anti-Semitic streak and hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. It seems every time he has a problem in his life, he blames it on the Jews.|[[ADL]]}}
[[Image:Michael-jackson-the-muslim-perv.jpg|thumb|Abu Joe trollin Jews]]
[[Image:Michael_Jackson_Holding_Israel_Flag.jpg|thumb|Jacko surrenders to [http://www.yoyenta.com/?p=1035 appease the Jews]]]
To get back at [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/856313/posts Michael Jackson putting a "Voodoo curse" on Supreme Jewish Leader Steven Spielberg], a day before his [[death]], upon entrance into an [[IRC]] channel, a Jew compulsively typed in "ah Michael Jackson, ah what?" Given the fact that this Jew has tha [[OCD]], he has [[DBZ|special powers]], using which he placed a curse on Jacko and [[pwnt|killed]] him.

[[Thatkidparker|Some people]] do believe that Jews did Michael Jackson, and not just because [http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKTRE55P0Q520090626 he owed] them [[jew gold]] or placed a curse. Their reasoning goes as follows:
[[Image:Michael-Jackson-and-Adolf-Hitler.jpeg|thumb|Michael Achtung]]
::1. Jewish monetary perverts drool at the billions accumulated by MJ. They say [[hello|shalom]] and try to invite themselves to dinner, but Jacko says "[[GTFO]]."
::2. In addition, Jews at the [[Mossad]] want to insert [[memes]] into his lyrics so that they can sell more dope to the listeners. MJ says "[[gb2]]hell."
::3. Jews insert bait children into his life. Indeed, some of the children's families were [[BFF]] with their Jewish attorneys.
::4. Jacko smells trouble, and responds with lyrics. Jewish lawyers made him change them. The song is accompanied by creepy music that gives you visions of Jewish shark lawyers trying to [[banhammer]] you for good. The unedited version of one of his lyrics went as follows ([[srsly]]):

::::''Jew really fucked''
::::''Jew thought he really got control of me''
::::''Jew out there,''
::::''Jew really wants to get me''
::::''Kick me''
::::'''''Kike me'''''
::::''Use me''
::::''[[Pedo|Abuse]] me''
::::''Sue me''
::::'''''Jew me'''''
::::''Take control of me''

::5. Jews never find anything funny if it is at their own expense so proceeded to banhammer him. They fail at the banhammer but succeed in putting him out of commission.

A related theory is that the music biz did Jacko for revenge. His last studio album [[irony|''Invincible'']] in 2002 had tanked and Jacko had gotten into a [[butthurt|heated dispute]] with his label Sony and leveraged himself out of his contract after accusing them of failing to spend sufficient [[jew golds]] marketing and promoting him. Of course this had absolutely nothing to do with his refusal to go on tour in support of the record. Jacko and the head of the label went toe-to-toe in the media and Jackson alleged the label head was a [[white|"devil" and a "racist"]] who did not support black artists and used them solely for [[profit]]. He charged that the label chief had called his pal Irv Gotti a "fat nigger."

===[http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2009/06/23/sanford-disappears-to-hike-appalachian-trail-on-naked-hiking-day/ Mark Sanford] did it===
After getting busted for going AWOL from his day job as the Governor of South Carolina, [[Republicunt]] "family values" fanboy [[Mark Sanford]] (described by [[Stephen Colbert]] as "incredibly boring ... a manila envelope glued to a beige wall... a walking, talking [[Sleep sex|Ambien]]") admitted he was off in Buenos Aires having an extramarital affair with a moderately attractive [[Argentinian]] chica and not on a surprise solo hike on the Appalachian Trail (on Naked Hiking Day). Naturally, the old media went batshit crazy and had a field day at the Governor's expense and were set to drag all the skeletons from Sanford's suddenly interesting closet.

However, on the eve of blowing the lid off the secret lovers' steamy emails and such, Michael Jackson suddenly dropped dead. With a shot at being the [[GOP]]'s [[2012]] presidential candidate on the line, things were not looking good for the aging Lothario... until the spotlight shifted. Coincidence? You be the judge.

===[[Iran]] did it===

Following the hotly desputed re-election of [[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]], Iranians [[protest]]ed the results as the vote was the one shred of [[freedom]] they thought they still had. They even went as far as condemning the Supreme Leader which is apparently a big no-no. The American and other Western news media would closely observe this butthurt throughout the following weeks.

Fearing that continual coverage of the protests would weaken the [[Islamic]] leadership, they needed something seriously ''[[Epic]]'' to divert Western attention, which was Jackson's record producer.

===AEG Insurance Scam?===

[http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?p=1654#comments/ TMZ] reports that AEG, who funded the Jacko "This is It" tour, paid for a hefty insurance policy from Loyds of London covering, among all things, drug overdose.

===Farrah Fawcett did it?===

It is no coincidence that Farrah Fawcett and Jacko died on the same day. Reports state that earlier that day, on her deathbed Farrah's last dying wish was for all the children in the world to be safe. So God answered and killed Michael Jackson. The difference between Farrah and Jacko is that one screwed Majors, whereas the other screwed minors.

===Doctor Did It===

It is possible that his doctor Conrad Murray is responsible for drugging Jacko to death as the Coroner has requested all his files, as well as the LAPD, Los Angeles Country Sheriff, and now the DEA and FBI, because this will not be the same without the [[Party Van]]. They all want to know how this doctor got his hands on an IV-administered drug only available at hospitals.

===Illuminati Did Michael Jackson===
The [[Illuminati]] was infuriated when they learnt that Jacko was going to reveal the truth about the Illuminati's conspiracy to take over the world and reduce the world population by 90% in his next concert. They had their eyes on him ever since he created this non-satanic song which has a somewhat empowering effect, which is exactly the opposite of what the Illuminati wants (since everyone in the music industry must submit to [[Satan]] in order to get anywhere).

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===Jews, Jealous of Allah, did Michael Jackson ([[Copypasta]])===

Not surprisingly, this particular theory holds considerable sway in the [[Middle East]]. The synopsis goes as follows: Jacko had converted to Islam in the Middle East and intended to do a final farewell concert, encouraging his fans to do the same. Jews got wind of his intentions, and since he did not pass through any long tunnels where they could [[accident]]ize him like Diana when she got pregnant with an Arab, they had to kill him by injection. Jews unsurprisingly wanted him to continue pushing Diet Pepsi to the Americunts instead of [[Allah]].

{{quote3|
Michael Jackson (MJ) was known as the most loving person in the world. He gave up most of his assets for charity and all his life, he fought for equality of the African Americans, AIDS victims, Against Drug Abuse, Against Abortion, Against Child Labor and secretly channelled his properties for the hungry children of the world. However, he wasn't peace at heart. He always think of himself as a child trapped inside a man's body. Being Peter Pan is all his dream, never to grow up, forever a child. That inspires him to build Neverland - a heaven for children. Children of all ages and races are welcomed to Neverland. MJ had so much love to give.

However, he made a mistake which he didn't know of the consequences. He saw the peaceful life his brother, Jermaine (Muhammad Abdul Aziz) had as a Muslim - true, Jermaine faced so much pressure that he moved to Bahrain.

In 1989, MJ made a press conference which shocked the world, "I have seen the Islam in the life of my brother, I have read the books about Islam. And I'd love to someday feel the calmness and peace of Islam...."

Since that, MJ's life was never the same again.
He was accused of so many accusations against child molestation. MJ was not someone who can deal with much pressure as he is a 'delicate child'. All the extortion and black mail followed after that. Everything he did was being seen as wrong in the eyes of the Media. All these are to influence his fans to hate MJ. If he is hated, then he would not be influencial anymore.

For several years, he stayed in England. Getting motivation from a long time friend, Cat Stevens, who had converted into Islam - named Yusuf Islam. From him, MJ learnt how Yusuf had survived being Muslim. He made friends with a song writer, Zain Bhikha too, who wrote a song titled, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH", which he wanted MJ to sing whenever he is ready.

Following his trial, MJ withdrew to Bahrain, where he was the special guest of sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the son of Bahrain's king. It was then that Michael began to give conversion more "serious thought." MJ stayed in Bahrain for approximately 3 years. He studied Islam, the prayers and learn to read the Quran.

Finally, he came back to Los Angeles and in November 2008 MJ had formally converted to Islam in a ceremony at a close friend's house in Los Angeles. He perform Haj with the King of Bahrain and son on December 2008.

He had a hidden agenda when he wanted to make a final comeback. He annouced in a press conference on March 2009, "This will be my final concert. I'll see you all in July...."

He planned that during his concert, he would announce that this is the FINAL concert as he wouldn't be performing anymore. He will declare that he is a Muslim and will only sing with Yusuf Islam and Friends.
At the end of the concert, he will be singing the song, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH" with Yusuf Islam. That is the reason why he chose London as his final concert venue instead of the USA. It was because he thought he could escape the USA's extortion, and that he could perform with yusuf Islam who is in England.

At 12.30am, 25th June 2009, he hugged his production manager and said, "After reherasing for 2 months, I am finally ready for the concert..." Before leaving to sleep, he waved his dancers, "It was a good night everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow..." The next thing... He was pronouced dead at 2.26am.....

When 911 was called, there are so much questions asked. It is as if they didn't know who MJ is and where he lived. The questions asked are more towards to delay time. The hospital said the autopsy result can only be obtained after 2 months - very illog ical as even the worst African technology could obtain the result in less than 2 weeks.

MJ's family members opt for second private autopsy as they started to feel something fishy is going on. The result came out in about 4 days - MJ was drugged with high dosage of anaesthetic - drug that brings about a reversible loss of consciousness, if used to much could stop the heart from beating.

Another result which was not aired in the media was, MJ's stomach is empty of this drug, but his blood were filled with it - same case as the death of Marilyn Monroe. The private doctors also found many needle marks, afraid to be forced injections given to MJ on his bed.

In CNN Live after a week, Barack Obama was interviewed. And he said, "I love MJ, I grew up listening to his songs.. It is a great loss, but rest assured that there is no conspiracy in his death..."
Now, why must a President made such statement before the official autopsy result came out? How would he know that there is no conspiracy without the post-mortem result? Seems like someone is afraid of his shadows..

MJ was known to the world as a person who is against drug abuse. Why must he be addicted to drug, then? If he wanted to commit suicide, why rehearse for his concert? And why will he want to see his dancers the next day?

Enough about his death. I am sure people around the world is not stupid anymore. These supreme power can fool us during the Marilyn Monroe conspiracy, Martin Luther King and Princess Diana. But in this MJ's case, they left too many loopholes for those who think...!!

MJ's family was about to give him a Muslim burial with the help of The Brotherhood of Islam. But, the CIA showed up at Neverland's door - blackmailed them that if they do so publicly, Katherine (MJ's mother) would be pull off from MJ's 3 children's custody as well as MJ's estates. Instead, they'll hire Debbie Rowe for the purpose, and the court will be in their favour. So much for democracy and fairness....

Finally, they agreed to let MJ have a Muslim Burial in Neverland. But in condition, must show to the public a Christian Memorial Service, as to prove to the world that MJ was never a Muslim.

So, Staples Centre was just a normal show. That's why the coffin was closed and sealed.

MJ was buried days earlier. The Gold Coffin was empty. They were about to bury the Coffin according to Christianity ways in Hollywood - as in their deal with the USA Government.

These happened, because the USA is afraid of the rising numbers of Muslims in the world.

(Sheikh Ha**d)
The Brotherhood of Islam
Buletin of Bahrain

}}

===Castrati===

Michael Jackson's voice never broke. He never broke into falsetto to reach those notes, he could just hit them without effort. All of his brothers are big lantern-jawed men, but he even before all the surgery never looked older than 11. Why?

Because the Jackson 5 was a money machine, and it all depended on Jacko's voice. Joe Jackson is not a nice man, and never was. He did not take Michael to Mexico for an operation to ensure that that voice would remain angelic. He got good and drunk drunk and did the deed himself, with the boot.

This [[fact]] explains pretty much everything, the kids in the bed, the dance stuff where he'd touch himself like a woman. That's why the sexy dance moves in the "Thriller" video are so unconvincing and just wrong. Go watch it: it's obvious that this man has never actually fucked. He never put his dick in any of those kids because he was physically incapable of it. This is not to say that what he did wasn't sexually molesting the kids, just that it was quite a bit creepier than the paedophile rape everyone thinks it was.

In short: Jacko's dad kicked him in the balls, as a child, to cripple him and keep his voice sweet.

==Funeral==

[[Image:Paris-Michael-Katherine_Jackson_Memorial_OscarOscar.jpg|thumb|Paris Jackson, Michael Jackson's only daughter, accepts an Oscar for her stellar performance at the memorial ceremony.]]

[[Image:Jacklelz.jpg|thumb|LOL vandalism is pointless on this page or anywhere else on ED.]]

Jacko had a [[LOL|gala]] [[BAWWWW|public memorial service]] at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Jackson did not appear from the dead and deliver a true-to-life rendition of "Thriller", much to the chagrin of most of the audience. [[Paris_Hilton|Paris-Michael Katherine]] did, however, deliver a "heart-felt" speech at the end about how [[O RLY|great a father Jacko was]], and how they will lose their $1000/week allowances. It is not known who coaxed her into making said statements, as everyone knows Jacko's fatherhood suffered a brutal [[death]] after falling three stories off a balcony.

The hapless losers who invested $400 million for Jacko's comeback tour (who also own the Staples Center) gave out 11,000 free tickets to the public instead of selling them at a high markup. After burning $400 mil on a [[fail|now canceled due to death]] tour, why not just lose more money?

During the faggy memorial service, Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson took the stage, the latter having appeared in the music video ''[[Shit nobody cares about|Remember the Time (I Raped You)]]''. After everyone watching asked themselves why the fuck they are there, Magic Johnson went on to recount a tender moment he shared with Wacko Jacko:

'''LAWDY MICHAEL, IS DAT SUM [[Chikins|CHIKKINZ]]?'''
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During the service various speakers all lauded the strangeness that was Michael Jackson, spouting tall tales such as crediting Wacko Jacko with the election of [[Barack Obama]] as [[President]] (not that there aren't similarities).

It was reported that the Jacko family first opted for [[kill it with fire|cremation]], but it was discovered after years of plastic surgery and various chemical treatments to his skin that his body is now fireproof. NASA has approached Joe Jacko in the hope of getting corpse samples to use in research on new heat shields for space vehicles.

It has been reported that Jacko has finally been buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, instead of doing the right thing and donating his body to [[soyence]].

==Autopsy==
[[image:Jacko_SOPA.jpg|thumb|right|Is it really Piracy that's hurting the industry?]]
Initial autopsy results were inconclusive but reports from the Los Angeles Country Medical Examiner's office do showed that Jackson's body was 35% plastic and other recycled materials. After the rest of Jack's chassis had been released for embalming and burial subsequent autopsy and toxicology tests were done on Jackson's brain. On August 24th, 2009, the final results [http://www.wbaltv.com/entertainment/20535026/detail.html?treets=bal&tml=bal_natlbreak&ts=T&tmi=bal_natlbreak_1_02580108242009 were leaked] revealing the obvious: Jacko had died of a massive drug overdose and although he'd done the world a favour, Jacko's personal physician was accused of [[OJ Simpson|'''MURDER!!!''']]

The doctor, cardiologist Conrad Murray, had been treating Jackson for insomnia for about six weeks with a buttload of the hospital-grade anaesthetic Diprovan every night via the tip of his penis. Murray said he feared Jackson was becoming addicted to the anesthetic, which is supposed to be used only in hospitals and other advanced medical settings, so he had lowered the dose and threw in the sedatives Valium and midazolam.

According to court records Murray said he resisted a tired Jacko's incessant whining for Diprovan (which he referred to as "his milk") fearful that the pop star had developed a dangerous addiction to the drug. Instead, Murray administered the sedatives Valium, lorazepam and midazolam five times over six hours, which didn't work and Jacko continued to demand his "[[cum|milk]]". Jacko stopped breathing about 10 minutes after Dr. Death relented and finally gave in to his patient's demands.

==Michael Jackson Lives==

Don't believe Ondor's lies. We brought him back, we had the technology!
<center>
<youtube>vuQNJuqgRZE</youtube>
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[[Image:Lolmj.png|thumb|right|The King of Pop at his last performance.]]

==[[Bel-Air]]==

[[Image:Micahel jackson brb.jpg|thumb|right|]]

This is the story all about how 
My pulse got flipped turned upside down, 
Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, 
I'll tell you how I had cardiac arrest in Bel Air. 

In Gary, Indiana born and raised, 
In the plastic surgeon room is where I spent most of my days, 
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxing all cool, 
and sittin' in a van outside of a school 

When a couple of parents said I was up to no good, 
said I was molesting their kids in the neighborhood. 
I got in one little incident, and the police got scared 
and said "You movin' with your Blanket and children in Bel-Air" 

I said I'll do a big concert tour, and when it came near 
I needed a trainer - my body stress load was severe. 
One morning that I woke up and suddenly felt pain, 
I said "Nah forget it, YO HOLMES LET'S TRAIN!" 

The very next day, 'round 11 or 12, 
blood stopped rushing to my heart valve. 
I collapsed on the floor, and to rejoicing of haters 
I yelled to the world "yo holmes smell ya later" 

Slipped into a coma and I was finally there, 
dead of cardiac arrest at my home in Bel-Air. 

===Bel Air Ver. 2===
This is a story all about how my [[HNG|HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNGH]]!!!

==Legacy==
His legacy continues in every shitty rerelease of his music, his family, and Pedobear. Also this guy

<center>
<youtube>cprMXNfn5-o</youtube>
</center>

==Death: The Ultimate PR==

Before Jacko's death, no one gave a shit about him and his music. Only because it isn't even good enought to suck monkey cock. To everyone including his own family, he was a [[Loser|washed-up pop star]], with plastic skin and a fake nose. LaToya (Michael's evil twin brother) publicly accused Jacko of being a pervert on Geraldo Rivera's talk show in the 1990's. [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocrite Now he is an infallible pop music legend and his music is hotter than ever.] Use this to your advantage and [[profit|profit]] off his corpse while you still can!

Now with Jacko dead, the Jacksoff family is missing their primary cash cow. As with Elvis before him, it is time to plaster his plastic surgery ravaged face on anything and everything, in order to squeeze the last remaining jewgold in him. First came two video games, one being the ''Michael Jackson Experience'', a Wii dance game.

The most ambitious project is Planet Michael, a HUEG MMO set within Jacko's World based on his music videos and career. It is not known is players can enter the game as such characters as, Plastic Suregon, Private Doctor, Neverland Maid, Monkey Wrangler, Coffee Enema Administer, Anal Tampon Inserter, Personal Doctor Shopper and the best of all a 12 year old boy.

If this game becomes reality, there is much potential for [[trolling]]. As a consequence, the Patriotic Nigras will probably [[butthurt|shut the servers down within 30 minutes of opening]].

===Fun things to do===

*Go the Neverland as a 12 year old boy.

*Ask when bed time is, when the little had touches the big hand.

*Find Bubbles and give him a spanking.

*Close the pool because it has Aids.

*Raid Neverland, swarm the sim with characters all dressed as police, start asking where the CP is.

[[File:Michaeljacksonepstein .png|250px|thumb|Wacko Jacko posing with [[Epstein|his best friend]].]]
==2026==
A biopic film about his life titled ''Michael'' has been a [[fail|smash hit]]; this and a recently uncovered picture of him hanging with [[Jeffrey Epstein]] have somewhat revived his career and the discussion about it. Most will still call him a pedophile, but others have taken the "heartwarming" acting from Michael's own nephew, Jaafar Jackson, as an argument how he was never actually a pedophile, and is a [[pretty cool guy]] all along.

==Gallery==


{{cg||mjlulzgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Jackson behind tree.jpg|Peekaboo!
Image:MJAWSUM.jpg
Image:Jjj.jpg|OH SHIT HES BACK!
Image:Wacofaggot.jpg|For all the fans
Image:Mjprop8.jpg|Michael Jackson is against [[prop 8|Proposition 8]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Michael Gollum.jpg|Yet another one of Jackson's plastic surgeries.
Image:Jackson_combo.png|A [[combofag|combofag's]] tribute.
File:DoucheyCulkin.jpg|Michael Jackson's penis is responsible for this beard.
Image:Mj_csi.jpg
Image:Peppermentpatti3.jpg|Michael Jackson's YouTube alter-ego, [[PeppermintPatti]].
Image:Freak.jpg|<s>Michael Jackson in the future.</s> Nevermind, he's dead.
Image:de-coca.jpg|The King is dead, long live Pepsi.
Image:Childloveright.jpg|Michael Jackson's beliefs.
Image:Dat ass mj.jpg|MOAR LIEK "[[Dat Ass|Dat LITTLE BOY'S Ass]] [[amirite]]?
Image:Banksy_Fairytalecottage.jpg|Luring children to his gingerbread house.
Image:Naraku & Kohaku.jpg|An [[anime]] Jackson.
Image:Jacksonbabyoutback.jpg|Michael Jackson feeds [[A Dog|the dogs]].
Image:Sneddon.gif|Tom Sneddon, Wacko Jacko [[EPIN]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbqwWLXxWR8]
Image:MJOJlol.jpg|Michael Jackson on his getaway tricycle.
Image:Dancer zombie..png|His future career plans.
Image:Deadjacko1.jpg
Image:PrinceandParisholdinghands.jpg|His son Prince, an obvious troll.
Image:Michael_pokemon_fight.jpg‎|Too bad he didn't have full heal..
Image:Michael jackson versus michael jackson.jpg|Proof Michael has a [[Dolly|clone]].
Image:Sega-genesis-michael-jackson-moonwalker.jpg
Image:Michael jackson spacechannel 5.jpg|MJ about to get some space [[loli]].
Image:Michael-Jackson.gif|He Tried, He Failed.
Image:Jacko_burka.jpg|Picture of [[Pedophile|Jacko]] and its first [[Loli|prey]] in the name of [[Allah|Allah]].
Image:Michael_DeLorenzo-1.jpg|Michael Jackson's illegitimate son.
image:uglybish.jpg|MJ's younger brother.
Image:Elephant man.jpg|"The Elephant Man, after Jackson took his bones."
Image:Nintendo-punch-out-michael-jackson-1.jpg
Image:michael-jackson-mugshot.jpg|remember sex monsters look no different from you and I
Image:Jacksonfurfag.jpg|Michael was also a closet [[furfag]].
Image:Michael-jackson-death-photo-ET.jpg|Who's dead?!
Image:Michael-Jackson-OK-cover.jpg
Image:Michael Jackson killer revealed.png|The prophecy.
Image:KFC_Michael_Jackson_APPROVES.jpg
Image:Jacksons shota commission.jpg|Michael Jackson's commissioned [[shotacon]].
Image:DeceasedMichaelJackson dontsueplz.jpg|Goodnight sweet prince
Image:Jackoappears.png|[[A challenger appears]].
Image:Michael_Jackson_-_Face_Mask.jpg
File:Michael Jackson drinking vodka with two dwarves.png
File:MJ.aids.album.jpg
File:Jackson Calm Down.jpg
File:MJ Clown.jpg
File:Celebrity-1-michael-jackson.jpg
File:I,Rape2.jpg
File:Goodnight jacko1.jpg
</gallery>|}}

==External Links==
[[Image:Mjapproves1.jpg|thumb]]
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJackson|Michael Jackson's Official YouTube (still active)}}
* {{yt|cu|MichaelJacksonsPenis|Micheal Jackson's Official 2nd YouTube Profile}}
* [http://mjackson.freevar.com/ Stupid ass MJ website with forum to spam and make fun of] - Website went belly up.
* [http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Cheeto-That-Foretold-Michael-Jacksons-Future_W0QQitemZ290327044439QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398d72157&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50 The Cheeto That Foretold Michael Jacksons Future] Amongst the [[crapflood]] of Jacko memorabilia available on eBay.
* [http://cgi.ebay.com/Hot-cheetos-Michael-Jackson-Moonwalk-Thriller-Fun_W0QQitemZ290325355042QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4398bd5a22&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12|66%3A2|39%3A1|72%3A1205|240%3A1318|301%3A0|293%3A1|294%3A50 Michael Jackson Moonwalk Cheeto.]
* [http://www.michaeljacksondeath.net First site up within minutes of his death, goodjob.]
* [http://comments.deviantart.com/2/84273/1106426757 First person to PURELY FUCKING OWN HIM after death.]
* [http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html The History of Michael Jackson's face.]
* [http://www.forartist.com/forensic/modification/mj/jackson.htm Computer generated image of how Jacko would look if he never had plastic surgery.]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakira_discography Another person who bleached their skin. Compare the earliest album to the later ones.]
* [http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/mj-credit-card/ Pranksters pull a fast one - one pretends to be MJ and vomits all over the window of a Victoria's Secret.]
*[http://williambader.com/mj.html '''Michael Jackson jokes''']
* [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7816771/ Memories]
* [http://jackobubbles.ytmnd.com/ Jacko's Morning routine]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5KmXleS1wg&feature=related Rapper's Jacko diss set to ''South Park'' clips.]
* [http://www.nicenetruth.com/home/2009/06/flashback-2003-michael-jackson-paid-150k-for-voodoo-curse-on-spielberg-geffen.html?cid=6a00e54f0bd8738834011570944f5b970c Michael Jackson once paid to have a voodoo curse put on Steven Spielberg for not casting him in the movie Hook as <s>pedo</s> Peter Pan, Jackson's demise once and for all proves that Jews > Voodoo]
* [[Love_Shy#Advanced_2|Facial feminization surgery guinea pig]]

===Sites approved by Michael Jackson, '''not directly related'''===
*[http://www.nvhentai.com Wacko Jacko's secret stash!]
*[http://doujinland.com/ Doujinland.com] - Sure to contain '''lots and lots''' of [[sick fuck|sick fuckery]].
*[http://www.notfourchan.net not4chan]

{{portals|music|gay|youtube|trolls}}
{{Pedoseries}}
{{FakeRape}}
{{blackpeople}}
{{Otherkin}}

{{Timeline|Featured article June 26, [[2009]]|[[Online Blackjack]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Beccah Beushausen]]}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now June 10 and 12, [[2026]]|[[Tom Pearl]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

[[Category:2009]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Corpses]]

Howard Dean

2026-06-09T19:20:16Z

LordGrimThInvincible: How lomg was that video link broken gewgg

{{Warning|BYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!}}
[[Image:Howard_dean.jpg|240px|right|thumb|A pinnacle of self-control.]]
[[Image:Howarddeankillskitten.JPG|240px|right|thumb|Howard Dean, killing an innocent kitten for the [[lulz]].]][[Image:Howard_Dean_300.jpg|thumb|...then we're going to [[300|SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!]]]]

'''Howard Dean''' is a [[batshit insane]] [[Democrat]] who tried to become [[God|president of America]] in 2004, but lost in the primaries because people realized that he's even more of an [[Useless|incompetent]] [[lunatic]] than the man he wanted to run against, the one and only [[Dubya|George "''Dubya''" Bush]].

Dean was one of the first politicians to use the [[internets]] in his campaign. All this achieved, however, was to alert users who weren't cocksucking [[fanboys]] to the fact that he has the IQ, diction and looks of an artificially [[retard|retarded]] rhesus monkey and he promptly [[failed]].

Scientists have found that the Dean's call of "''BYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!''" can be heard from up to seven miles away, and is speculated to be used to attract mates and frighten rivals. Recent findings, however, suggest the call is used mostly to inform other members of the troop where the Dean is going (usually New Hampshire and Idaho).

More recently, Dean has shown off his complete and utter incompetence as a government official by falsely claiming that "''[[Disagree|Hate Speech]]''" is not protected by [[Free Speech|the first amendment]] and by peddling crackpot [[conspiracy theories]] about how the [[Weed|Green Party]]'s Jill Stein was actually a [[Russian]] agent who was planted by [[Vladimir Putin]] to help [[The Donald]] "''steal''" the [[2016 Election]] victory from [[Scandal|scandal-ridden]] [[Jewgold|Wall Street]] [[whore]], proven election-rigger and all-around unpleasant person [[Hillary Clinton]].

==The original '''BYAAAAAAAAA'''==
<div align="center">
<youtube>l6i-gYRAwM0</youtube>
</div>

==The White House assault==
<div align="center">
<youtube>DgL3ORZUYkM</youtube>
</div>

==The aftermath==
<div align="center">
<youtube>yZWmL0CrkmY</youtube>
</div>

==Dave Chapelle's version==
Psych, [[Viacom]] hates [[YouTube]].

[[Image:DeanSmash.jpg|thumb]]

== "Hate Speech" is Free Speech, Retard ==

{{quote|Hate speech is not protected by the first amendment.|Howard Dean, showing his incompetence {{archive|lQ5KX}}}}

== The Jill Stein Conspiracy ==

{{quote|This is a shocker. Stein was likely part of the [[Seth Rich|Russian effort to elect Trump]]. Had Stein not been on the ballot [[Bullshit|we might not have Trump]]|Howard Dean, going full [[Alex Jones]] {{archive|JQi0U}}}}

{{quote|Hopefully Mueller is investigating Stein too. [[Weed|Where did the money come from to get her on the ballot]]. We know RT supported her.|Howard Dean, wanting moar tax payer money to be wasted on stupid shit {{archive|iyRr9}}}}

==See also==

* [[Batshit Insane]]
* [[Hillary Clinton]]
* [[Bernie Sanders]]

==External links==
*[http://objective.ytmnd.com/ Way better Dean Scream remix.]

[[category:people|Dean, Howard]]
{{Memes}}
{{Politics}}
{{timeline|Featured article August 30 & 31, [[2017]]|[[Sheriff Joe]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[MuchoZucko]]}}

Abortion

2026-06-09T17:06:05Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

{{spoiler|ABORTION HAS BEEN PERMABANNED IN AMERICA!}}
{{Offended}}

{{quote|Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.|Psalms 137:9}}
[[Image:Abortionsendsbabiestogodfaster.jpg|thumb|There are many unexpected benefits to these sort of things.]]
[[File:FightCrimeAbortBlackBabiesShirt.jpg|thumb|left|[[Eugenics]] in practice.]]
[[File:Dilation and Evacuation Abortion (D&E) of a 23 Week Old Fetus.jpg|thumb|How to prepare a Soufflé for your [[Jew]]ish customers.]]
[[File:Abortionkermit.jpg|thumb|Kermit the Frog tries Kosher food.]]
[[Image:God is prochoice.JPG|thumb|Miscarriages are done by the one and only [[God]] YHWH.]]
[[Image:Childkiller.jpg|thumb|Also portrayed in [[Video games|Vidyas!]]]]

'''[[Baby Fuck|Abortion]]''' is what your ''[[Whore|Mom]]'' should have done.

In other words, if you had a [[babby|parasite]] by accident because you got so drunk you were [[Asking for it]], or was [[Rape]]d by a [[Nigger|disgusting]] [[Muslim|animal]], or if your baby had a [[Asperger's Syndrome|severe and devastating genetic disorder]], then you can have it [[Euthanasia|put out of its misery]] before the second trimester so that it cannot have the chance to develop a brain and soul, and therefore grow up a tormented bullied [[Emo]] sociopath who will start about two hundred [[Tumblr]] blogs, [[Columbine|inevitably shoot up a school]] and finally [[Hitler|wreak havoc on the world]]. A sure-fire subject to send any politically minded community into a 400 comment [[flame war]]. There are two schools of thought regarding abortion: '''[[Christian|anti-choice]]''' (aka anti-[[Wimmins|woman]]) and '''[[Liberal|anti-life]]''' (aka anti-[[human]]). Both of them are characterized by producing extreme portions of [[drama]] and nearly no [[logic]]al points whatsoever. However, everyone knows that neither of these two parties are correct, and that the only sensible stance is for killing fetuses ''and'' not letting women have the right to choose.

When a cunt vacuuming is performed on a [[nigger]], [[spic]], [[Arab]] and/or [[Retard]], it is considered a crime stopper, and encouraged by some of the world's leading [[prostitutes]] such as [[Donald Trump]]. [[Jews]] have been known to eat fetuses to help them gain god-like powers, this is a powerful technique but only fetuses harvested from [[16-year-old girl|the correct source]]. Abortion is also a useful way to control the [[You|redneck/ugly/uneducated]] population, as the majority of people getting abortions are stupid white trash teenage girl whores who are too dumb to use a [[condom]], and if were allowed to spawn would in turn create even more stupid [[hillbilly]] whores eventually taking over the world, very much like the movie ''Idiocracy''.

Most women report abortion to be a kinky, empowering, and a [[lulz|hilarious]] experience. In short: Abortions are good and should be performed as often as possible, to help aid [[Science|Stem Cell Research]], to [[troll]] [[redneck]] [[Christian|Christfags]], and to serve the [[OM NOM NOM NOM|leftover body parts]] to needy school cafeterias.

All pro-lifers are all baby-fucking [[pedophile]]s and all pro-choicers are [[Eugenics|genocidal maniacs]]. NO EXCEPTIONS.

== How To ==
[[Image:falconpunchabortion.jpg|thumb|[[Falcon Punch|Planned parenthood approved!]]]]
[[Image:Abortion lulz.jpg|thumb|Psychological warfare]]

=== [[Falcon Punch]] ===
In response to societal pressure, internet OB/GYNs have developed the [[Falcon Punch]] method as a [[Alternative Medicine|holistic alternative]] to medical abortion. It is carried out as follows:

# Find a pregnant woman
# Pull your shoulder back as far as it can go,concentrating massive amounts of [[pwn]] into your fist while screaming: <big><strike>''"FAAALCONNNNN...''</strike></big> It's <big> FARRRRRRRUUUUUUUUKKKKKOOOOONNNNN....</big>
# Set your sights on the uterus, located a few inches below the belly button.
# Follow through: <big><big>''...PAAAAAAAOUNNNCHHH!!!!'''"</big></big>
[[Image:AbortionTShirt.jpg|thumb|My baby got aborted and all I got was this lousy T shirt.]]
[[Image:CoathangerAbortion.jpg|thumb| Before Roe vs Wade, coat hangers were a cheap source of LULZ,drama and dead whores.]]

{{quote|I thought you were a fat chick Then I realized you were pregnant I thought it would be funny if your baby died So I kicked you in the stomach [Chorus:] I kicked you, your baby’s dead [x3] Ha ha ha, your baby’s dead There were no stairs to throw you down There was no roof to throw you off There were no coat hangers around So I kicked you in the stomach [Chorus]|[[Anal Cunt|You're Pregnant, So I Kicked You In The Stomach]] [http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/analcunt/itjustgetworse.html#34]}}

=== [[Coat Hanger]] ===

Recommended for solo practitioners or if the pregnant woman fails to expel a mutilated fetal corpse within 2-6 hours post-Punch.

# Find an oldschool metal clothes hanger
# Bend into a large hook
# Insert, get a good hard hook on that fetus, and pull with all your might
# [[????]]
# [[PROFIT!]]

[[Image:HangerChromeThree.jpg|thumb|[[Leave Bond to me|Leave the fetus to me]].]]


=== Herbal Abortion ===

Your [[Slut|girlfriend]] gets her fat, lazy ass knocked up. Unfortunately for you, she believes that [[Bullshit|all life is precious]] and refused to go get the little parasite vacuumed out of her. Being the [[Clever|nice]], [[Fag|caring]] [[Asshole|boyfriend]] you are, three times a day you make her a nice strong cup of tea using these ingredients: motherwort, pennyroyal, goldenseal root, blue cohosh root and ginger. Also, feed the bitch mad amounts of vitamin C to help fight off that en utero invader. For added lulz, tell her it will help the baby grow big and strong. After a few days, she should "mysteriously" miscarriage. If this doesn't work, refer back to [[Abortion#Falcon_Punch|Falcon Punch]].

=== Medical Abortion ===

Do you want to wade through a crowd of screaming [[fundies]]? Do you want to have images of [[dead]] fetuses burned onto your retinas? Do you want to risk being caught up in a [[Christian]] [[terrorist]] attack? Do you want the inside of your [[Vagina|baby carriage]] to be poked, prodded and scraped raw by Jew and Jew? Do [[you]] want people to whisper ''"here comes the baby-killer"'' every time you enter a room for the rest of your natural life? If so, then [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] formally recommends you stop by your [[Planned Parenthood]] facility today! Why take your health into your own hands when you can undergo a [[Lie|safe]], [[False|inexpensive]], [[Lie|routine]] and [[Bullshit|completely]] [[No|confidential]] medical procedure carried out by [[Sick Fuck|trained professionals]]? (For those that are less [[Mental illness|mentally imbalanced]], please refer back to [[Abortion#Falcon_Punch|Falcon Punch]].)

=== Natural Abortion ===
[[Image:God_-_Hates_Babies.jpg|thumb|Abortion: God's favorite pastime.]]
Surprising to many is the fact that the human "error ratio" clocks at upwards of '''forty percent'''. Meaning that, out of every human conception on the planet, roughly forty percent end in "spontaneous abortion", the medical term for "miscarriage". Presuming for a moment that there exists a God and that we humans were purposefully and intentionally designed, this would mean that our supreme creator absolutely '''loves''' killing <s>fetuses</s> unborn babies. That fact is of course supported in the Bible as well, where killing people's babies and children is often depicted as God's favored form of punishing people for not believing in him.

Having a natural abortion, as such, is easier than you might think. Often all it takes is a good, heavy dose of any number of over the counter pharmaceuticals, a regular drinking habit, morbid obesity or various other self-destructive lifestyle choices. There are however some risks to this option, especially if you do something stupid like actually go to a doctor. Medical science is presently hell bent on preventing natural abortions, often simply to spite God, your doctor will do absolutely everything possible to ensure that your little bundle of fetal alcohol syndrome actually manages to make it past the birth canal still breathing. As such, you should avoid doctors at all costs if you decide that this option is right for you.

==Fun Things To Do==

While some people say abortion can be a sad time full of psychological stress and worry, there are plenty of wonderful things one can enjoy after the easy operation.

*Gaining popularity is a game amongst suburban teens to collect their dead fetuses and amass them together with model glue in order to play unbaby shower games. The most alluring is fetus-ball - wherein the cute chunks are frozen then tossed around a room, once they start to thaw, the objective is to get all the fetuses to stick on one person.

*Wrapping the fetus in hamburger meat and feeding it to a friend for a fun, cheap, and easy April Fool's prank!

*If you feel like you didn't get to know your soulless little amalgamation, you could always take apart [[Furby|toys]] and make a talkative little fellow who you can grow to love until they start to decompose.

*If done at the right time and thrown face up in the trash, [[You|aborted fetuses can survive to adulthood]], though often [[W|not too bright]], they lead destructive lives among the population. Make one your friend if you know one, perhaps you can help it along on its path to [[an hero|true happiness]]

*To offend your [[Christian|pro-life]] friends, you can get pregnant and get abortions for fun and talk about with [[internets|everyone possible]]. You can compete with other couples or friends to tally up the most aborted fetuses. For extra fun gather [[over 9000|many friends]] together and try to beat the number of [[Jews]] reportedly killed in the [[Holocaust]], who ever gets the 6 millionth, wins a [[iPhone|useless trinket of status]].

==Pro-Life==

[[Image:Anti-abortion.jpg|thumb|Mardi Gras]]


Someone who is '''[[Pedophilia|pro-life]]''' (also known as pro-babies-from-10-year-old-rape-victims) is someone who is against [[abortion]] because it is [[Lie|murder]]. Most people who call themselves pro-life tend to be [[Republican]], pedophiles, or [[fail|populist]], but there are uncommon cases of [[democrats]] and otherwise liberal-minded people being against abortion. Pro-lifers are all pedophiles because of their obsession with [[Rape|loving children]] and that they believe there should be more babies around to [[Baby Fuck|Love]]. They are also hypocrites because none of them really want to adopt the [[Nigger|abominations]] they want to force women to give birth to [[retards|deformed creatures]]. Further, very few support government welfare systems and the overwhelming majority are pro-capital punishment. Thus, pro-lifers are not really "pro-life" and are therefore retarded.

Ironically, most people who are pro-life are in favor of the death penalty and killing people in [[Iraq]] (and pretty much anywhere else [[W|President Bush]] feels like having people killed; [[yes|what, do you hate America?!]]).

The mortal enemy of a pro-lifer is someone who is pro-choice whom they often [[Irony|wish death upon]] and sometimes even [[The Army of God|carry out themselves]]. To pro-life, pro-choice are heartless demons, and that feeling is shared.

[[Epic Fail|Hysterically enough, there are cases where pro-lifers have gone so far as to murder doctors who perform abortions. This is widely considered absolutely fucking HILARIOUS. A ''pro-lifer'' murdering a doctor is the definition of irony.]]

[[wikipedia:Murder_of_Jim_Pouillon|However, not all pro-choicers have clean reputations either.]]

==Pro-Life Quotes==

{{morphquote|pl|background-color: white; width: 80%; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|[[Lulz|Abortion is Murder!]]|What's your point?
|Ban abortions and have steralizations coverd by insurance. If you still have an abortion you get the electric [[chair]].|[[Pedophile|Jim Profit]]
|[[Lol|Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing babies, but the thought of letting a woman make her own decisions just doesn't do it for me]].|Anon
|Kill Choicetards and Long Live Unborn Babies!!|[[Retard|Prolifer]]
|I've found that soldering irons work the best...|[[Hillary Clinton]] when asked about her time as first lady
|I [[Rape|love]] children!|A [[Pedophile|prolife]] claim to end abortion.
|God loves our children! That includes the unborn ones.|Another [[Christian|prolife]] claim to end abortion.
|Execute retards not babies!|Random Texan
|I'm a pro-Lifer waa waa waa...look at me waa waa waa...I don't want people to make choices waa waa waa...|Captain Awesome...waa waa waa
|I was an abortion and it was fun.|Former abortion/Kike
|Tell me, if you can: you have destroyed so much — what is it exactly that you have created? Can you name even one thing? ...I thought not.|Dr. Breen, to women who have had abortions.
|Women shouldn't have a choice about abortion. They will take forever to decide, just like at the grocery store....'Hmm....do I want the plastic or metal coat hangers????'|Zach Braff on abortion
|The needs of the next generation outweigh the needs of this one.|[[divide by zero|Charles Darwin]]
|Did you make that page? Im all for a womans rights and i think it's their decision, but the jokes are fucking disgusting and i cant beleive you would go that low. that's absoloutely ridiculous! have some fucking respect for the women who had to make that choice. Your a disrespectful little shit. Make it a positive thing not a negative thing. Jesus christ whats wrong with you. |[[16 year old girl|Jaimie Campbell]]
}}

==Pro-Choice==

[[File:Cancerr100.jpg|thumb|150px|Abortion should be legal to solve the world hunger problem. Before there was overpopulation and now there's less people and more tasty food.]]

[[Image:Righttolife.JPG|thumb|150px|ED's abortion stance is supported by Christians all around the world.]]

Someone who is '''[[Genocide|pro-choice]]''' is generally considered to be the embodiment of all things awesome (strictly due to their love of killing babies, which is AWWWWRIIIGHT.) [[Hitler|The wise and intelligent Chancellor of Germany]] was a massive supporter of abortion in order to eradicate the [[Jews|greatest causes]] [[Niggers|of crime in the world]]. However, recently the pro-choice movement has been hijacked with [[feminists]], thus making its ghey levels [[over 9000]]. Though, unlike pro-life, they actually believe the [[whore|mother]] is a person and do not see the fetus as a person.

There are many theories behind the origins of the feminist [[anti-lulz]], but no clear cut answer is available. However, here are the 3 most likely sources:

#[[Jews]]
#[[Niggers]]
#[[Cuck]]s

(Please take to note that these, along with the [[gays]], [[Jews]], and [[Jesus]], are among those suspected for the [[9/11]] attacks.)

Pro-choicers will not rest until every life-ruining fetus has been sucked from every womb, [[truth|but are fighting to save the bad guys in the Iraq and take the child-rapists and serial killers off of death row. As Osama Bin Laden is more human than an unborn baby.]] Just because abortion saves women's lives does not mean that it is all right. Pro-choice advocates are all idiots that don't realize that murder is one of the funniest activities evar. To pro-choice, pro-life are the scum of the earth.

NOTE: Pro-choice shall forever remain unlulzy until every feminist on the planet is executed.

{{quote|Your real mother was a hooker,your real father couldn't get laid Your mother left you in a dumpster,you were adopted by two gays [chorus:] You look adopted [x4] You hate father and son picnics, you hate the p.t.a. You won't bring friends to your house, you've got two fathers and they're both fucking gay [chorus]|[[Anal Cunt|You Look Adopted]] [http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/analcunt/ilikeitwhenyoudie.html#22]}}

==Notable Pro-choicers==
===Dr. Pogany===
Include the not-so-world-renowned (former Professor) and Jewish '''HUMAN RIGHTS''' [[expert]], '''[[Mengele|Dr Istvan Pogany]]''', a guy who knocked up his undergraduate student then dragged her to the local abortion clinic [[irony|in order to avoid exposure]] in newspapers up and down the United Kingdom. After said exposure, he ran away as far as his pro-choice legs could take him to avoid the inevitable scorn and laughter which befell his colleagues at the School of Law at the University of Warwick in the UK. He returned one year later and is now to be found skulking the corridors of the same institution minus his Professorship title and his aborted kid.
[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/universityeducation/3659924/Student-has-abortion-after-affair-with-professor.html The Telegraph]

==Pro-Choice Quotes==
<center>'''Because 15 abortions is worse than 15 niglets on welfare'''</center>
<center><youtube>U0QBD6CXgdo</youtube></center>
[[Image:Abortxxx.gif|thumb]]

{{morphquote|pc|background-color: white; width: 80%; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|Nothing beats assisted suicide like, a hoover up your vadge after a gangbang!|repeat PP customer
|If God is Prolife, then why do miscarriages occur?|[[Questionable logic|Some guy]]
|It's my body, not theirs!|Pro-choicer
|KILL BABIES IN THE NAME OF [[Cthulhu|CTHULHU]]!|[[Newfag|Pro-choicer]]
|It's not a life!|Pro-choice [[n00b]]
|I hate babies.|[[Baby Fuck|Pro-abortioner]]
|Who in their right mind would want a screaming, crapping little vampire to tear out their vagina, suck their tits dry, ruin their marriages and bobsled them to an early grave?|some fat cunt
|we just think, you know, the less black kids out there the better|An online donor to Planned Parenthood
|[[Holocaust|If more people had abortions then maybe we would have a better human race. It's simple Evolution, in nature the genetic inferiors would get weeded out by predators, and the superiors would be able to create the next generation. In Normal human society, however, now we have so many laws and restrictions that allow genetically unworthy to breed. If more Abortions took place, the more genetically unfit would be weeded out, meaning few retards]].| [[user:StoneTemp1Pilot|StoneTemp1Pilot]]
}}

==How Does Abortion Affect Parents?==
{{squote|If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house. and i would do it until I had so many rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy i could have aborted their ass.|[[Anonymous]]|[[b|/b/]] No.32255003}}

==Abortion Drama OTI==

[[Image:Abortionkills.jpg|thumb|Abortion kills. [[LOL]] we know, ain't it GREAT!?]]

* Recently [[March Together For Life|some prick]] managed to amass 1,200+ comments and 89,000+ views in one day, by mistaking [http://www.theonion.com The Onion] for a purveyor of real news. The article in question, [http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33680?issue=4227&special=1999 ''I'm Totally Psyched About This Abortion!''], netted a few enthusiastic [http://marchtogether.blogspot.com replies] by this [[Fag|gentleman]] who believed it to be real, and not obvious satire. Notably, he doesn't know what an [[Ellipsis]] is, nor what it signifies... it is assumed that he doesn't speak Japanese...

* On [[MySpace]], the biggest prolife group found was found here: [http://groups.myspace.com/WeKillBabies Pro-Life]. As ironic as the URL sounds, it is a prolife group. It should also be noted that the group site currently has no mod, so it is free for trolling. Also there's a [[Fugly|sexy and dashing]] [[Rapist|poster]] named [[Pedophile|Jim Profit]] whom you should [[Not|devote your life to]].

* [[Feminist|Amy Richards]] wrote a [http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B07EED6113BF93BA25754C0A9629C8B63 big article for the ''New York Times''] about how she was infected with triplets and decided to kill only two of them, while letting the third one live. Her husband meekly assented to the murder instead of [[Sex|hitting her with an oiled table leg in a downward motion]].

* [http://myabortion.tumblr.com/ What to Expect When You're Aborting] by Dr Spock is also an excellent pro-your-own-life guide to the most funnest abortion evar!

===LJ Drama===
There are many pro-life communities on [[LiveJournal]] (the biggest one being [http://www.livejournal.com/community/prolife/ prolife]), just as there are many pro-choice communities. The two hate each other, and if any member of one community crosses paths with a member of the opposing community, you know some [[flame war|flames]] will go down - a perfect opportunity for [[epic lulz]].

* There is also an [http://www.ljdrama.org/index.php?cat=37 Abortion category] on [[LJDrama]], dedicated to [[Childfree|child-free]] and abortion drama.

==Rebutal: Killin' the Tiller==

Lvl 12 Fetalmancer dual class Ranger George Tiller of (What's the matter with?) Kansas was [[permabanned]] from [[God]]'s green Earth last Sunday (May 31st) in church. [[Lolwut]]? He was shot through the heart, causing over 9000 damage. The paramedics came to late and the loving cause of pro-life was given, a bad name, YEAH! BAAAAAAAAD NAMMME!

Being one of the few doctors to perform the sweet surgical symphony that is a late term abortion, loose/unlucky women/[[asking for it]] will have to travel even further to prune their crotch fruit. So basically it will be mostly private school girls on "vacation with their aunt" and less poor people getting their abort on which will, funny enough, lead to more po' folks in general and a boom for the wire hanger industry.

Reaction has mostly been hilarious on both sides. Check back for further, tasteful updates.

==Abortion Fun Facts!==
[[File:Plan c.jpg|thumb|Always have a Backup Plan]]
* Abortion was invented because people were too damn [[retard|retarded]] to use a fucking [[condom]] when [[Secks|doing it]]
* In April 2007, Yale art student [[Aliza Shvarts]] claimed to have [[slut|artificially inseminated herself]] [[at least 100]] times, each time filming herself inducing abortions with [[jenkem|herbal remedies]], and [[wtf|saving the blood to smear on plastic sheets and drape over a giant cube]]. She did it for the lulz.
*[[L. Ron Jeremy|L. Ron Hubbard]] was obsessed with abortion, performing at least 7 on his wife. With a coat hanger no less.
*Abortion is [[BitingBeaver|the best way]] to make sure your kid doesn't grow up to degrade [[women]] by looking at [[pornography]].
*[[Truth|Scientific Studies have show that there is no connection between abortions and breast cancer.]]
*[[Romanians]] get the Olympic-gold-fucking medal for abortions: they killz 3 quarters of their unborn kidz. A Romanian diplomat was quoted as saying, "We do it for the LULZ." [http://www.topix.com/world/romania/ <1>]
*Both Saddam Hussein and Adolf Hitler were going to be aborted, but their mothers decided against it.
*[[Noone]] on either side of the issue has ever made a valid point ever, therefore your answer when asked by some [[aspie]] [[Christfag]] about your views on abortion should be [[LOL WUT|"both"]], which makes more sense than an either/or choice.
*It is a fun fact that behind all the push for abortions is [[jews]]. This is a good arguing point whenever arguing with a pro-choicer. The big push began with Vladimir Lenin[[✡]] in the USSR (everyone involved in that from Marx through Trotsky was a jew). Roe vs. Wade that made it legal in the USA was the work of two jewish lawyers Linda Coffee and Sarah Weddington pressuring a woman ([http://www.lifenews.com/2013/01/22/woman-behind-roe-v-wade-im-dedicating-my-life-to-overturning-it/ who later become strongly pro-life]) into letting them use her politically. Most abortion doctors are jews, too! Jews only believe in abortion for goyim and oppose it for jews.

==True Impact of Abortion==

This being based on no hard researched facts...Truth is most seeking an abortion are scared [[teenmommy|knocked up teens]]. Emotional stories of successful NFL up and comers such as Tim Teebow are a rarity. Most if they take their pregnancy to full term, will have a child that either become [[welfare|Ward of the State]] because they do not have the education or maturity to raise a child properly. If that child is a female there is at least a 70% chance of her becoming a productive member of this nations sex-based entertainment industry.

With the rise in abortions has had a devastating effect on the available pool of local available talent for local exotic dance facilities and studios that produce films for the adult crowd. With the short usable life span of the sex based professional. Liberal areas are burning out of fresh talent faster than their cracked out teen population and produce and incompetently raise them into a life of sluthood, while conservative areas with strict anti-abortion laws and adherence to fundamentalist christian values have a thriving sex industry with exotic dance clubs filled with a constant stream of supple young firm talent who are willing to serve the needs of their repressed hypocrite middle aged undersexed married males. While strip clubs in abortion ravaged liberal areas are staffed be dancers who are 35 year-old bullet wound riddled, knife scarred heroin addled truck stop whores who should have been replaced when they hit 25 but are forced to perform way past their usefulness because of the depletion of any fresh young talent.

On the national scale if abortion continues to drain our available domestically produced sources, the USA will be forced to depend on foreign sources for fresh young talent. This means having to do business with counties like Moldova, Ukraine and Albania and other corrupt 3rd world regimes, and criminal organizations such as the Russian mafia and Croatian war criminals.

So please people stop abortion so you can save your nation's domestic sex industry.

== Baby Pictures ==

{{cg||AbortionAndChill|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Abortion_demotivational.jpg
Image:Abortion_demotivator.jpg|seriously
Image:Birthdefectearneck.jpg|Pro-lifers support ear-neck boy!
Image:Monkeygirl.JPG|Monkey-Girl supports pro-lifers!
Image:Fuckedupbaby.jpg|Toadboy wishes he were dead. This is the result of [[you|your]] defective sperm.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Kidinkid.jpg|[[pedo|Pro lifers]] support the idea of <strike>10</strike> 5 year olds giving birth after getting raped.
Image:Baby1.png|Awww, isn't it just precious?
Image:Baby2.png|You can also abort a baby after it's born, as long as you use a knife.
Image:Harlequinfetus.jpg|[[Harlequin Ichthyosis Fetus|A baby not aborted. Victory for pro-lifers everywhere!]]
Image:1279560740427.jpg|If you like [[Pokemon]] then you'll love getting an abortion.
Image:Abortion pride.jpg|Mother of the Year 2007
Image:Juliannaatbirth.jpg|[[Juliana Wetmore|Intelligent design in action.]]
Image:Abortion 107.jpg|[[Kawaii|How cute!]]
Image:Usualnolifer.JPG|Their way of converting people to the pro life way.
Image:FETUSPIMP.jpg|[[Pimp My Ride|Pimp your fetus!]]
Image:Myspace_prolife.PNG|The Pro-lifer's [[Final Solution]]!
Image:Abortionablol.jpg|Good eats!
Image:Fetus.jpg|Fetus: Anti-free will or pro-baby murder?
Image:Fetus in a jar.jpg|Some people collect abortions and auction them on the Internet.
Image:Fetus pancake.jpg|Fetus omelet
Image:Oh noes dos preshss bebeez.jpg|Snacks to bring to the [[circle jerk|party]].
Image:Abortionissgudd..jpg|Abortions make your babies happy.
Image:PennywiseMcdonald.jpg| [[Pennywise]] abortin babies in ur [[McDonald's]]
Image:Abortionsarefun.jpg|They are indeed fun.
Image:The_Pro-Life_Debate_rwp80.jpg|A Handy Guide to Trolling Pro-Lifers
Image:Failboard.jpg|Pro-life fail advertisement
Image:Ishot2kills.jpg|It's only ok if you're a [[Israel|Jew]].
Image:Monkey piglet.jpg|HOLEY SCHITT!! Abort this abomination!!
Image:TsimFuckis superheropose.jpg|[[Tsimfuckis|This]] is was happens when you failed to abort after fucking an ostrich.
Image:Mpreg birth.jpg|This guy didn't get an abortion. So he gave birth to his rape baby.
Image:Abortion thugniggas.jpg|It's a shame the "mother" didn't abort these nigs.
Image:Baby from eraserhead.png|What to [[you]] happens after you fail to abort.
Image:Electric Chair.jpg|Pretty '''late''' abortion. Really popular in the USA.
Image:Fetus Pancakes.jpg|Yummy.
Image:Abortion - Republican Logic Fail.jpg
Image:Planned_Parenthood_Hangers.jpg
Image:AbortTheFetus.gif
Image:Abort_Retry_Fail.jpg
Image:Clippy_-_MS_Back_Alley.jpg
Image:Pedobearabortion.jpg|Sometimes [[pedobear|he]] just can't wait!
File:Redneck abortion.jpg|It's a fun game for everyone!
File:Billy_Mitchell.png|[[Video games|Billy Mitchell]] is like abortion
File:Tarabortion.jpg|Docs just wanna have fun
File:ScenesterBS.JPG|Announcing an abortion on MySpace
File:Billy almost aborted.gif
</gallery>}}

== See also ==
[[File:I'll make this fetus disappear.gif|200px|right]]
* [[Aliza Shvarts]]
* [[Anabelle Lotus]]
* [[Birth or Not]]
* [[Diaper Boy]]
* [[Juliana Wetmore]]
* [[Falcon Punch]]
* [[Foetus soup]]
* [[Harlequin Ichthyosis Fetus|Harlequin Ichthyosis fetus]]
* [[Kevin and Kat]]
* [[Miscarriage]]
* [[Nathan Sheets]], who provided the <s>[http://www.nathansheets.com/apictures/warning.php photo]</s>.
* [[Nostalgia Chick]]
* [[Renee Bracey Sherman]]
* [[Robert Dear]]
* [[Roe v. Wade]]

==External Links==
* [http://christianresources.i8.com/links.htm#right ''Bible Resources Recommend ED's Abortion Stance '']
* [http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B07EED6113BF93BA25754C0A9629C8B63 Amy Richards describes the Halloween haunted house exhibit she has planned for her surviving baby]
* <s>[http://www.abortionisprolife.com/ Abortion Is Pro-Life] - The current Pope of [[Ayn Rand|Objectivism]] preaches about the fantastic, life-affirming Good News of abortion</s> BALEETED
* [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=regressive The Regressive Party] - [[Maddox]]'s view on the subject
* <s>[http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Realabortiondebate/ Abortion Debate/ Flame Wars. The site owner is a virgin in his 50s.]</s> BALEETED ([https://web.archive.org/web/20090213183657/http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Realabortiondebate/ Archive])
* [http://www.armyofgod.com Typical Pro-Life website that advocates killing homosexuals.]
* [https://vimeo.com/84797427 Emily Letts' famous abortion selfie video.]

{{Christianity}}
{{Politics}}
{{Pedoseries}}

{{timeline|Featured article August 27 & 28, [[2012]]|[[Lunix]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Unrealistic expectations]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now September 3 & 4, [[2021]]|[[Texas]]|[[Abortion]]|[[Supreme Court]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now May 4 & 5, [[2022]]|[[EarthBound]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Sonic]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now June 26 & 27, [[2022]]|[[Taking Down ED]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Roe v. Wade]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article November 13 through 14, [[2024]]|[[Averi Fiddleafox]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[P Diddy]]}}
[[Category: Cliques]]
[[Category: Drama-generating_techniques]]

User talk:Supermarcyofthailand

2026-06-08T22:45:12Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Sorry bro but i hate buttism

{{Welcome}}
[[User:YaroslavTV|YaroslavTV]] ([[User talk:YaroslavTV|talk]]) 14:54, 14 September 2024 (UTC)

== muddy return ==

im having fun vandalizing all of his shit, but how do we know this is him ? --[[File:Zoequinnicon.png|40px]] [[User:Couscous|Couscous]] 19:30, 8 June 2026 (UTC)

This account has been around since late 2024 and he recieved a 3 month ban for making stubs, which is exactly what his SaltNigga account was banned for.

If this account was made after January 2026, I would believe it is an impersonator ween troll, but the account age and similar pattern implies it is him 4 realz.

[[User:LordGrimThInvincible|LordGrimThInvincible]] ([[User talk:LordGrimThInvincible|talk]]) 21:16, 8 June 2026 (UTC)

: I'm actually not Mud. I'm just a autistic kid who just browsing through ED. Why they framed me for no reason. Proof: [[File:IMG_20260609_045638.jpg|240px]]{{Unsigned|Supermarcyofthailand}}

well your articles are still shit, ill revert the isis one but not the blink182 article --[[File:Zoequinnicon.png|40px]] [[User:Couscous|Couscous]] 22:43, 8 June 2026 (UTC)

==Hi==

If ur Christian than will you give me free drinks and cookies if we randomly encountered each other?

Thanks in advance. 😘

[[User:LordGrimThInvincible|LordGrimThInvincible]] ([[User talk:LordGrimThInvincible|talk]]) 21:36, 8 June 2026 (UTC)

: I'm actually Buddhist. {{Unsigned|Supermarcyofthailand}}

==Bhuddism is asss==

Dude, Bhuddists hate killing/eating bugs and yet the average market place in thailand sells cooked bugs.

Bhudism is contradictory bullshit.

Some fat chink fell adleep beneath a tree 2000 years ago.

WHOOP DEEE DAAAAAMNN DOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

"Wanting causes suffering, so you should really REALLY want to not want anything"

"You should really try hard to reach zen, even though there is no better place in a better area in a better time"

Ugh!

GOOK NONSENSE!

FUCK CHRISTIANS FOR BEING LIBTARDS AND THINKING THEY CAN CONVERT BROWNS!!!!!

Missionary work outside of White countries is for gay retards.

[[User:LordGrimThInvincible|LordGrimThInvincible]] ([[User talk:LordGrimThInvincible|talk]]) 22:44, 8 June 2026 (UTC)

Abbe Drake

2026-06-08T21:56:21Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Account adddsed

[[File:Abbegirl - abbe drake - bathing suit.jpg|thumb|Notice the telltale tattoo, pointed out by a nobel pepe.]]
[[File:Abbegirl welcome.jpg|thumb|Hey!]]
[[File:Abbegirl Star 1.jpg|thumb|The slut star]]
[[File:Abbegirl Star 2.jpg|thumb|The song "Skyfall" by Adele reminds me of this. Or *look how this star falls to Earth*]]
[[File:DeMusliM - Ex-Boyfriend of Abbe Drake aka Abbegirl.jpg|thumb|DeMusliM of [[Evil Geniuses]] is cucked and outgunned. All the APM in the world can't get you what a nice dick can do.]]

'''Abbe Drake''', also known as '''abbegirl''' is a gamer girl and ex-girlfriend of deMuslim.

It's believed she and a lover posted her sextape online to [[Judaism|gain notoriety]].

As an aside, this has nothing to do with Abbe, but if you want to get rich, why not convert to Judaism instead of being bitter and hanging out on 4chan? I understand that we blame jews for everything and the Holocaust numbers are [[true|grossly exaggerated]], but why not give it a rest and give the jews a chance? {{chanban}}

=="Modelling"==

[[No one cares]] cares about modelling shit. It's all a cop out. but here are some screens of ModelMayhem.

<center>
<gallery>
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 2.jpg
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 3.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Nude leaks?==

[[File:Abbe Drake - On the set.jpg|500px|center|On the set]]

Perhaps a conspiracy by [[Jews|You know who]] to get money or notoriety, her naked body is on the internet. Scores of Christians were offended en masse.

*https://eroshare.com/hhu9k1hj
*https://mega.nz/#F!Ug8REIJJ!kWts-Lnw_4O-HKzgrCStrA

==="Outing"===

Allegedly she [https://www.reddit.com/r/photoplunder/comments/3e4qwz/youtube_star_abbegirl_abbedrake_in_sextape_need/ctbngvx posted to Reddit about the link] Much lulz was to be had:

{{quote|Proof that it's me?

Bet you can't prove it because it isn't.|Abbe_Drake}}

[[You]] can go fuck yourself. You think you can catch her?

Well you were [[cuck]]ed.

{{quote|Nice tattoo: http://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/29656164|Reddit beta}}
{{quote|Distinctive tattoo, freckle under the left breast and the same face. I'd say that is conclusive proof.
|Reddit beta}}

[[File:Abbegirl Star 3.jpg|center]]

=== Pics (of the "Abbe Drake" impersonator) ===

There is also a look-alike of Dylan Dreher. In fact the couple in the video looks a whole lot like [http://lovvvit.com/dylan-dreher these white folk], but fuck you '''#blacklivesmatter'''.

[[File:Dylan dreher and abbe drake.jpg|300px|center|Dylan Dreher and Abbe Drake]]

==Conspiracy Theories==

There is a controversy afoot as to the motivation behind the leaks.

Of course, [[internet detective]] are working hard to [[fap|cover this]].

===Self-promotion===

She being a model with a struggling career, sex tapes are becoming a quick, cheap way to get attention. This theory is fueled by the obvious connection between dreday099 (simply by search engines) to abbegirl, how long the videos were there.

===Porn star career===

Dreday099 could possibly have [[Jews|connections]] with porn produces or may be a porn actor himself. Struggling actresses may, in a pinch, resort to camwhoring as a way to make ends meet, or for the sheer exhibition of it.

===Evil Geniuses===

The couple's "YouPorn" profile was circulating around /vg/ since [http://4chanlog.net/vg/33371 February of 2015]. There's no word if [[Evil Geniuses]] or DeMusliM were in on this.

===Cuckold porn for DeMusliM===

Cuckold porn typically involves african american males. This is true in both Western and Eastern culture. However, Dylan Dreher was sufficiently better looking than DeMusliM.

===Dylan Dreher trying to get notoriety===

[https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Abbe_Drake&action=historysubmit&diff=771019&oldid=771018 An mysterious edit] from a shill mentioned Dreher doing this for his own publicity. This is unlikely since women are typically the stars of sextapes.

==Pictures from Dylan's [http://www.pornhub.com/users/dreday099 Pornhub]==

<center>
<gallery>
File:Dylan dreher 1.jpg
File:Dylan dreher 2.jpg|Why he used his normal username on instagram, showed his face on the videos he uploaded, then blurred his face is unknown.
File:Dylan dreher 3.jpg

</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 5.png
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 6.png
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 4.png
</gallery>
</center>

==Video Gallery==
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{videoframe|amvideos|background:white;|font-weight:bold
|<youtube>NyCVQRZBedc</youtube>
|<youtube>wzWcfyhkhNI</youtube>}}
|}

==External Links==
* {{facebook|abbegirl}}
* {{twitter|abbeg}} - Usurped by niggers. Inactive since 2021.
* {{yt|abbegirl}} - No new vidyas since 2018.
* [http://www.youporn.com/uservids/dreday099/ YouPorn] of Dylan Dreher sauce
* [https://www.tumblr.com/abbegirl Tumblr]

{{ytseries}}
{{whores}}

[[Category:People|Drake, Abbe]]

Abbe Drake

2026-06-08T21:52:34Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Usurped by niggers

[[File:Abbegirl - abbe drake - bathing suit.jpg|thumb|Notice the telltale tattoo, pointed out by a nobel pepe.]]
[[File:Abbegirl welcome.jpg|thumb|Hey!]]
[[File:Abbegirl Star 1.jpg|thumb|The slut star]]
[[File:Abbegirl Star 2.jpg|thumb|The song "Skyfall" by Adele reminds me of this. Or *look how this star falls to Earth*]]
[[File:DeMusliM - Ex-Boyfriend of Abbe Drake aka Abbegirl.jpg|thumb|DeMusliM of [[Evil Geniuses]] is cucked and outgunned. All the APM in the world can't get you what a nice dick can do.]]

'''Abbe Drake''', also known as '''abbegirl''' is a gamer girl and ex-girlfriend of deMuslim.

It's believed she and a lover posted her sextape online to [[Judaism|gain notoriety]].

As an aside, this has nothing to do with Abbe, but if you want to get rich, why not convert to Judaism instead of being bitter and hanging out on 4chan? I understand that we blame jews for everything and the Holocaust numbers are [[true|grossly exaggerated]], but why not give it a rest and give the jews a chance? {{chanban}}

=="Modelling"==

[[No one cares]] cares about modelling shit. It's all a cop out. but here are some screens of ModelMayhem.

<center>
<gallery>
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 2.jpg
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 3.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Nude leaks?==

[[File:Abbe Drake - On the set.jpg|500px|center|On the set]]

Perhaps a conspiracy by [[Jews|You know who]] to get money or notoriety, her naked body is on the internet. Scores of Christians were offended en masse.

*https://eroshare.com/hhu9k1hj
*https://mega.nz/#F!Ug8REIJJ!kWts-Lnw_4O-HKzgrCStrA

==="Outing"===

Allegedly she [https://www.reddit.com/r/photoplunder/comments/3e4qwz/youtube_star_abbegirl_abbedrake_in_sextape_need/ctbngvx posted to Reddit about the link] Much lulz was to be had:

{{quote|Proof that it's me?

Bet you can't prove it because it isn't.|Abbe_Drake}}

[[You]] can go fuck yourself. You think you can catch her?

Well you were [[cuck]]ed.

{{quote|Nice tattoo: http://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/29656164|Reddit beta}}
{{quote|Distinctive tattoo, freckle under the left breast and the same face. I'd say that is conclusive proof.
|Reddit beta}}

[[File:Abbegirl Star 3.jpg|center]]

=== Pics (of the "Abbe Drake" impersonator) ===

There is also a look-alike of Dylan Dreher. In fact the couple in the video looks a whole lot like [http://lovvvit.com/dylan-dreher these white folk], but fuck you '''#blacklivesmatter'''.

[[File:Dylan dreher and abbe drake.jpg|300px|center|Dylan Dreher and Abbe Drake]]

==Conspiracy Theories==

There is a controversy afoot as to the motivation behind the leaks.

Of course, [[internet detective]] are working hard to [[fap|cover this]].

===Self-promotion===

She being a model with a struggling career, sex tapes are becoming a quick, cheap way to get attention. This theory is fueled by the obvious connection between dreday099 (simply by search engines) to abbegirl, how long the videos were there.

===Porn star career===

Dreday099 could possibly have [[Jews|connections]] with porn produces or may be a porn actor himself. Struggling actresses may, in a pinch, resort to camwhoring as a way to make ends meet, or for the sheer exhibition of it.

===Evil Geniuses===

The couple's "YouPorn" profile was circulating around /vg/ since [http://4chanlog.net/vg/33371 February of 2015]. There's no word if [[Evil Geniuses]] or DeMusliM were in on this.

===Cuckold porn for DeMusliM===

Cuckold porn typically involves african american males. This is true in both Western and Eastern culture. However, Dylan Dreher was sufficiently better looking than DeMusliM.

===Dylan Dreher trying to get notoriety===

[https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Abbe_Drake&action=historysubmit&diff=771019&oldid=771018 An mysterious edit] from a shill mentioned Dreher doing this for his own publicity. This is unlikely since women are typically the stars of sextapes.

==Pictures from Dylan's [http://www.pornhub.com/users/dreday099 Pornhub]==

<center>
<gallery>
File:Dylan dreher 1.jpg
File:Dylan dreher 2.jpg|Why he used his normal username on instagram, showed his face on the videos he uploaded, then blurred his face is unknown.
File:Dylan dreher 3.jpg

</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 5.png
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 6.png
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 4.png
</gallery>
</center>

==Video Gallery==
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{videoframe|amvideos|background:white;|font-weight:bold
|<youtube>NyCVQRZBedc</youtube>
|<youtube>wzWcfyhkhNI</youtube>}}
|}

==External Links==
* {{facebook|abbegirl}}
* {{twitter|abbeg}} - Usurped by niggers. Inactive since 2021.
* {{yt|abbegirl}} - No new vidyas since 2018.
* [http://www.youporn.com/uservids/dreday099/ YouPorn] of Dylan Dreher sauce

{{ytseries}}
{{whores}}

[[Category:People|Drake, Abbe]]

Abbe Drake

2026-06-08T21:51:32Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

[[File:Abbegirl - abbe drake - bathing suit.jpg|thumb|Notice the telltale tattoo, pointed out by a nobel pepe.]]
[[File:Abbegirl welcome.jpg|thumb|Hey!]]
[[File:Abbegirl Star 1.jpg|thumb|The slut star]]
[[File:Abbegirl Star 2.jpg|thumb|The song "Skyfall" by Adele reminds me of this. Or *look how this star falls to Earth*]]
[[File:DeMusliM - Ex-Boyfriend of Abbe Drake aka Abbegirl.jpg|thumb|DeMusliM of [[Evil Geniuses]] is cucked and outgunned. All the APM in the world can't get you what a nice dick can do.]]

'''Abbe Drake''', also known as '''abbegirl''' is a gamer girl and ex-girlfriend of deMuslim.

It's believed she and a lover posted her sextape online to [[Judaism|gain notoriety]].

As an aside, this has nothing to do with Abbe, but if you want to get rich, why not convert to Judaism instead of being bitter and hanging out on 4chan? I understand that we blame jews for everything and the Holocaust numbers are [[true|grossly exaggerated]], but why not give it a rest and give the jews a chance? {{chanban}}

=="Modelling"==

[[No one cares]] cares about modelling shit. It's all a cop out. but here are some screens of ModelMayhem.

<center>
<gallery>
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 2.jpg
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 3.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Nude leaks?==

[[File:Abbe Drake - On the set.jpg|500px|center|On the set]]

Perhaps a conspiracy by [[Jews|You know who]] to get money or notoriety, her naked body is on the internet. Scores of Christians were offended en masse.

*https://eroshare.com/hhu9k1hj
*https://mega.nz/#F!Ug8REIJJ!kWts-Lnw_4O-HKzgrCStrA

==="Outing"===

Allegedly she [https://www.reddit.com/r/photoplunder/comments/3e4qwz/youtube_star_abbegirl_abbedrake_in_sextape_need/ctbngvx posted to Reddit about the link] Much lulz was to be had:

{{quote|Proof that it's me?

Bet you can't prove it because it isn't.|Abbe_Drake}}

[[You]] can go fuck yourself. You think you can catch her?

Well you were [[cuck]]ed.

{{quote|Nice tattoo: http://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/29656164|Reddit beta}}
{{quote|Distinctive tattoo, freckle under the left breast and the same face. I'd say that is conclusive proof.
|Reddit beta}}

[[File:Abbegirl Star 3.jpg|center]]

=== Pics (of the "Abbe Drake" impersonator) ===

There is also a look-alike of Dylan Dreher. In fact the couple in the video looks a whole lot like [http://lovvvit.com/dylan-dreher these white folk], but fuck you '''#blacklivesmatter'''.

[[File:Dylan dreher and abbe drake.jpg|300px|center|Dylan Dreher and Abbe Drake]]

==Conspiracy Theories==

There is a controversy afoot as to the motivation behind the leaks.

Of course, [[internet detective]] are working hard to [[fap|cover this]].

===Self-promotion===

She being a model with a struggling career, sex tapes are becoming a quick, cheap way to get attention. This theory is fueled by the obvious connection between dreday099 (simply by search engines) to abbegirl, how long the videos were there.

===Porn star career===

Dreday099 could possibly have [[Jews|connections]] with porn produces or may be a porn actor himself. Struggling actresses may, in a pinch, resort to camwhoring as a way to make ends meet, or for the sheer exhibition of it.

===Evil Geniuses===

The couple's "YouPorn" profile was circulating around /vg/ since [http://4chanlog.net/vg/33371 February of 2015]. There's no word if [[Evil Geniuses]] or DeMusliM were in on this.

===Cuckold porn for DeMusliM===

Cuckold porn typically involves african american males. This is true in both Western and Eastern culture. However, Dylan Dreher was sufficiently better looking than DeMusliM.

===Dylan Dreher trying to get notoriety===

[https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Abbe_Drake&action=historysubmit&diff=771019&oldid=771018 An mysterious edit] from a shill mentioned Dreher doing this for his own publicity. This is unlikely since women are typically the stars of sextapes.

==Pictures from Dylan's [http://www.pornhub.com/users/dreday099 Pornhub]==

<center>
<gallery>
File:Dylan dreher 1.jpg
File:Dylan dreher 2.jpg|Why he used his normal username on instagram, showed his face on the videos he uploaded, then blurred his face is unknown.
File:Dylan dreher 3.jpg

</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 5.png
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 6.png
File:Abbegirl - Abbe Drake 4.png
</gallery>
</center>

==Video Gallery==
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{videoframe|amvideos|background:white;|font-weight:bold
|<youtube>NyCVQRZBedc</youtube>
|<youtube>wzWcfyhkhNI</youtube>}}
|}

==External Links==
* {{facebook|abbegirl}}
* {{twitter|abbeg}}
* {{yt|abbegirl}} - No new vidyas since 2018.
* [http://www.youporn.com/uservids/dreday099/ YouPorn] of Dylan Dreher sauce

{{ytseries}}
{{whores}}

[[Category:People|Drake, Abbe]]

Abstruse

2026-06-08T21:48:31Z

LordGrimThInvincible:

{{Old}}

[[Image:Drunkabstruse.jpg|right|thumb|The first photo of abstruse as a drunken slut, in 2000.]]
[[Image:Thebestangleofabstruse.jpg|right|thumb|Abstruse's favourite self-portrait, January 2006.]]
[[Image:Abstruseboobs1.jpg|right|thumb|Abstruse's boobs, as posted on her myspace and No Affiliation.]]
[[Image:Abstruseboobsblackbra.jpg|right|thumb|Abstruse's boobs, posted on No Affiliation with the claim they were advertising the Frederick's of Hollywood bra they're in.]]
'''Abstruse''' is a troll known for her TMI posts on [[Purple PJs]] and No Affiliation. Her exploits include discussing accidents with feces, telling people about [[SteveUberAlles]]'s need to send her nekkid pix of himself, and coining the term Bitter Withered Old Cunt Syndrome. Sadly, Abstruse is chronically [[unfunny]], and if it weren't for her innate ability to piss people off, it is doubtful that she would have ever found a niche on the internets. She is often a total cunt to her friends for no reason, and as such, her only friends are girls who are too dumb to tell that she is incapable of forming [[Asperger's|healthy relationships]] with other people. This is evidenced by the fact that she married an unattractive 30-something man who still [[loser|lived with his parents]] until last Thursday, when he moved in with hers.

== History ==
Abstruse was the main target of [[Martine|Dirty Martine]]'s Dirty Laundry Post on PJs (though officially sharing the honour with yael and drac). It may be said that she is partly responsible for the downfall of mankind, since that is how [[emo]] [[16 year old girls]] the world over felt when the forum was shut down.

At the very least, treatment of Martine is the cause of the aforementioned's development of [[centipede filled vagina]]: abstruse (along with yael & drac) had previously run a rebel board and site that often caricatured Martine. The pair's apparent hatred of each other led everyone to believe that abstruse was behind every rebel board created in reaction to dissatisfaction with PJs. Actually, only cherryroar and LDV were of abstruse origin.

In any case, she appeared on [[Purple PJs|Cybergrrlz]] [[at least 100 years]] ago, and has been the most combative member ever since, even though she has avoided the [[banhammer]].

Sometimes seen as benevolent, and most of the time as a nasty bitch, it is impossible for her to exist one week without flaming. This behaviour has seen drac label her "deliberately contentious", and [[A_Real_Guy|Victor_M]] as a "snake-in-the-grass". She led the original movement, along with drac, to label Victor_M a [[pervert]], and was partly successful. Abstruse is at least somewhat responsible for most of the ED entries relating to Purple PJs and its members, and gets true joy of out of disgusting people with tales of bad sex and bodily functions - both of her own, and others.

Her more famous recent exploits include tearing Cheer_is_back a new asshole on No Affiliation for no apparent reason, engaging in warfare with [[D2a0r0i5a]] on No Affiliation for no apparent reason, and referring to Emilyjo's interests as trash on No Affiliation for no apparent reason. She usually at least outwardly wins the arguments, even if they are completely irrational, due to her Svengali-like qualities and ability to create legions of [[fangirls|rabid followers]]. Despite the loyal following of many of these fangirls (Gab, [[SteveUberAlles]], and Emilyjo, to name a few), she often turns against them and uses their secrets or evident stupidity to generate [[lulz]].

She has been on the internets for [[at least 100 years]], having started her first website in 1999. There have been many incarnations since (forums, blogs, el-jays, zines), and to date she keeps a personal server, [[LiveJournal]], [[MySpace]], and [[facebook]], all of them shit.

== Private life ==
Little is known about abstruse in her natural habitat. She appears to have studied approximately 1300 different majors in college, at one point becoming a masochist and writing a thesis on Dostoyevsky, though it is entirely possible that this is all fabrication, since she is prone to exaggeration, and at other points, hypochondria.

She admits she has been anorexic, a [[hipster]], a [[cutter]] and a [[fatty]], but right now her main focus is drawing attention to her gargantuan breasts. It is unclear whether her obsession with her breasts has spilled into real life, though there are reports of her appearing in pornography of varying degrees, since she was a [[16 year old girl]], even though she is a [[feminist]], and until [[last Thursday]], was also a rabid [[lesbian|man-hater]].

It is also evident that she has suffered from [[mental illness]] and smug cuntism at different points in time, the most obvious diagnosis being OMG BORDERLINE, though Gab claims she is bipolar or psychotic. She writes poetry with the word [[cunt]] in it repeatedly, swears like a sailor, and espouses the sober life. Sobriety has become something of a self-righteous necessity for abstruse, as she is an admitted drunk junkie.

Her best friend is perpetually suicidal, and abstruse often complains about having had to save her life on five separate occasions, since she usually realizes after each heroic act, that her life was not worth saving.

These days she claims to be in a [[shit|graduate creative writing program]], and has long since given up claiming to be a lesbian after she married a male foreigner she hadn't seen in five years. Her rapid re-courtship with the foreigner, and subsequent marriage three months later, has seen many question her sanity. Gab has said it is "impossible to be married to abstruse without being whipped," while others ([[SteveUberAlles]], [[D2a0r0i5a]], [[Emilyjo]], [[User:Fratgirl|Raspy]]) have merely suggested their marriage will fail. This suggestion made her [[butthurt]], and she blogged about it.

== Habits ==
At any given time you might find abstruse:
* Showing people her breasts
* Blogging about her sex life
* Repenting from lesbianism
* Flaming the [[lesbian]] community on livejournal
* Creating weird graphics on [[stupid_free]]
* Bitching about [[SteveUberAlles]] with [[Emilyjo]]
* Seeking [[hypocrite|revenge]] against people who bitch about her
* Creating controversial and frighteningly graphic descriptions of sexual misfires in the bad_sex community on livejournal
* Complaining about Bill Hunter
* Eating pringles
* Being pretentious and self-righteous in what she thinks is an ironic fashion, but is actually, well, not
* Alternating between [[emo]] self-deprecation and complete narcissism
* Getting [[butthurt]] over slanging matches with [[D2a0r0i5a]] on No Affiliation
* Being simultaneously TMI and [[TL;DR]]

== Recent activity ==
After expressing a desire to be "nice" and not indulge her mean-streak any longer, abstruse found herself creating the [[sand-filled vagina]] entry on ED. Her long history of hypochondria, medical woe, and obsession with Wikipedia made it easy for her to give descriptions of the illness. Abstruse also found herself editing several other articles on ED, but most of her edits have been made of [[fail]], as is much of her writing.

{{trolls}}
[[Category: People]]

Abstruse

2026-06-08T21:48:04Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Ancient tab

{{History}}

[[Image:Drunkabstruse.jpg|right|thumb|The first photo of abstruse as a drunken slut, in 2000.]]
[[Image:Thebestangleofabstruse.jpg|right|thumb|Abstruse's favourite self-portrait, January 2006.]]
[[Image:Abstruseboobs1.jpg|right|thumb|Abstruse's boobs, as posted on her myspace and No Affiliation.]]
[[Image:Abstruseboobsblackbra.jpg|right|thumb|Abstruse's boobs, posted on No Affiliation with the claim they were advertising the Frederick's of Hollywood bra they're in.]]
'''Abstruse''' is a troll known for her TMI posts on [[Purple PJs]] and No Affiliation. Her exploits include discussing accidents with feces, telling people about [[SteveUberAlles]]'s need to send her nekkid pix of himself, and coining the term Bitter Withered Old Cunt Syndrome. Sadly, Abstruse is chronically [[unfunny]], and if it weren't for her innate ability to piss people off, it is doubtful that she would have ever found a niche on the internets. She is often a total cunt to her friends for no reason, and as such, her only friends are girls who are too dumb to tell that she is incapable of forming [[Asperger's|healthy relationships]] with other people. This is evidenced by the fact that she married an unattractive 30-something man who still [[loser|lived with his parents]] until last Thursday, when he moved in with hers.

== History ==
Abstruse was the main target of [[Martine|Dirty Martine]]'s Dirty Laundry Post on PJs (though officially sharing the honour with yael and drac). It may be said that she is partly responsible for the downfall of mankind, since that is how [[emo]] [[16 year old girls]] the world over felt when the forum was shut down.

At the very least, treatment of Martine is the cause of the aforementioned's development of [[centipede filled vagina]]: abstruse (along with yael & drac) had previously run a rebel board and site that often caricatured Martine. The pair's apparent hatred of each other led everyone to believe that abstruse was behind every rebel board created in reaction to dissatisfaction with PJs. Actually, only cherryroar and LDV were of abstruse origin.

In any case, she appeared on [[Purple PJs|Cybergrrlz]] [[at least 100 years]] ago, and has been the most combative member ever since, even though she has avoided the [[banhammer]].

Sometimes seen as benevolent, and most of the time as a nasty bitch, it is impossible for her to exist one week without flaming. This behaviour has seen drac label her "deliberately contentious", and [[A_Real_Guy|Victor_M]] as a "snake-in-the-grass". She led the original movement, along with drac, to label Victor_M a [[pervert]], and was partly successful. Abstruse is at least somewhat responsible for most of the ED entries relating to Purple PJs and its members, and gets true joy of out of disgusting people with tales of bad sex and bodily functions - both of her own, and others.

Her more famous recent exploits include tearing Cheer_is_back a new asshole on No Affiliation for no apparent reason, engaging in warfare with [[D2a0r0i5a]] on No Affiliation for no apparent reason, and referring to Emilyjo's interests as trash on No Affiliation for no apparent reason. She usually at least outwardly wins the arguments, even if they are completely irrational, due to her Svengali-like qualities and ability to create legions of [[fangirls|rabid followers]]. Despite the loyal following of many of these fangirls (Gab, [[SteveUberAlles]], and Emilyjo, to name a few), she often turns against them and uses their secrets or evident stupidity to generate [[lulz]].

She has been on the internets for [[at least 100 years]], having started her first website in 1999. There have been many incarnations since (forums, blogs, el-jays, zines), and to date she keeps a personal server, [[LiveJournal]], [[MySpace]], and [[facebook]], all of them shit.

== Private life ==
Little is known about abstruse in her natural habitat. She appears to have studied approximately 1300 different majors in college, at one point becoming a masochist and writing a thesis on Dostoyevsky, though it is entirely possible that this is all fabrication, since she is prone to exaggeration, and at other points, hypochondria.

She admits she has been anorexic, a [[hipster]], a [[cutter]] and a [[fatty]], but right now her main focus is drawing attention to her gargantuan breasts. It is unclear whether her obsession with her breasts has spilled into real life, though there are reports of her appearing in pornography of varying degrees, since she was a [[16 year old girl]], even though she is a [[feminist]], and until [[last Thursday]], was also a rabid [[lesbian|man-hater]].

It is also evident that she has suffered from [[mental illness]] and smug cuntism at different points in time, the most obvious diagnosis being OMG BORDERLINE, though Gab claims she is bipolar or psychotic. She writes poetry with the word [[cunt]] in it repeatedly, swears like a sailor, and espouses the sober life. Sobriety has become something of a self-righteous necessity for abstruse, as she is an admitted drunk junkie.

Her best friend is perpetually suicidal, and abstruse often complains about having had to save her life on five separate occasions, since she usually realizes after each heroic act, that her life was not worth saving.

These days she claims to be in a [[shit|graduate creative writing program]], and has long since given up claiming to be a lesbian after she married a male foreigner she hadn't seen in five years. Her rapid re-courtship with the foreigner, and subsequent marriage three months later, has seen many question her sanity. Gab has said it is "impossible to be married to abstruse without being whipped," while others ([[SteveUberAlles]], [[D2a0r0i5a]], [[Emilyjo]], [[User:Fratgirl|Raspy]]) have merely suggested their marriage will fail. This suggestion made her [[butthurt]], and she blogged about it.

== Habits ==
At any given time you might find abstruse:
* Showing people her breasts
* Blogging about her sex life
* Repenting from lesbianism
* Flaming the [[lesbian]] community on livejournal
* Creating weird graphics on [[stupid_free]]
* Bitching about [[SteveUberAlles]] with [[Emilyjo]]
* Seeking [[hypocrite|revenge]] against people who bitch about her
* Creating controversial and frighteningly graphic descriptions of sexual misfires in the bad_sex community on livejournal
* Complaining about Bill Hunter
* Eating pringles
* Being pretentious and self-righteous in what she thinks is an ironic fashion, but is actually, well, not
* Alternating between [[emo]] self-deprecation and complete narcissism
* Getting [[butthurt]] over slanging matches with [[D2a0r0i5a]] on No Affiliation
* Being simultaneously TMI and [[TL;DR]]

== Recent activity ==
After expressing a desire to be "nice" and not indulge her mean-streak any longer, abstruse found herself creating the [[sand-filled vagina]] entry on ED. Her long history of hypochondria, medical woe, and obsession with Wikipedia made it easy for her to give descriptions of the illness. Abstruse also found herself editing several other articles on ED, but most of her edits have been made of [[fail]], as is much of her writing.

{{trolls}}
[[Category: People]]

User talk:Supermarcyofthailand

2026-06-08T21:37:17Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Render unto grim that which belongs to grim.

User talk:Supermarcyofthailand

2026-06-08T21:16:53Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* muddy return */

Shoe0nHead

2026-06-08T20:53:03Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

{{gotis}}

{{quote|So RationalWiki is a biased website. It is biased and they even acknowledge the fact that they are biased. They are like Encyclopedia fucking Dramatica.|Dropped0nHead|Just for comparing us to RW you deserve [[rape|this article.]]}}

[[File:Shoeonheadnomakeup.png|thumb|What June wants her orbiters to think she looks without makeup. Note the eyebrows, eyeliner, and foundation.]]
[[File:Shoe0nhead bald.jpg|thumb|What she'll look like if she reads this article]]

:''Were you looking for the shitty meme'' '''''"[[Put Shoe On Head]]"''''' ''?'' - ''Why? Is it 2006 again?'' 
:''Were you looking for'' '''''[[K-hate|our own ShoeOnHead]]''''' ''?'' - ''Again, why?'' 

'''Shoe0nHead''' (AKA '''[[Powerword|June Nicole La Porta]]''' or '''Lapine''' because it's [[French]] for bunny and she's so soft and cute uwu) is a {{age|1991|6|22}} year old failed film student, and S&M submissive fetishist that still lives with her parents, after having dropped out and given up on filmmaking due to having zero talent, and is now unemployed and getting by on handouts from fellow losers on [[youtube]]. She is basically the Wile E. Coyote of the skeptic community.

Prior to this, she spent nearly 8 years desperately trying to become internet famous by whoring for the attention of horny virgins online and posting nudes on [[4chan]], before stumbling onto a community of [[boxxy]] stalkers whose userbase worshipped at her feet, while she acted as their cum-rag by being a full-time boxxy's lookalike, until they stole her nudes and she left.

She then had another one of her orbiters create [[lolcow.farm]] as a honeypot to obsessively stalk people who gossiped about her for over a year, then changed her entire personality again and disappeared for a year, reemerging during [[GamerGate]] to finally find "success" in the form of an audience of fedora-wearing MRAs that cream their pants at the idea of a cute-ish girl (they don't know she's bald) who hates feminism, even if she hasn't made a single intelligent argument in any of her videos (even by YT [[skeptic]]'s standards).

Today June continues to waste her life, making 1 video every 2 months in the lowest possible quality, as she laughs at how pathetic her fanbase is, sells them out to a company that used them as practice targets for a self-teaching censorship bot, harasses mentally disabled people on twitter, blocks anyone who disagrees with her and plans to marry a {{age|1984|8|11}} year old, morbidly obese, manchild divorcee and youtuber, who cheated on his wife with her (and like 10 other girls), and who she cheated on her boyfriend with, who now openly cheats on her as well, as her fans continue to jerk off while thinking about her and then pay her to cuck them with some other guy, that then cucks her in return.

__TOC__

[[File:Lastshoe.png|1000px|center]]

==June on Unichan - Obsessive Boxxy Stalker==

Before being known as "Shoe0nHead", June was a known internet thot who would spam 4chan with her nudes. This until she discovered "[[Unichan]]", a community of psychotic [[Boxxy]] stalkers who were infamous for hacking Boxxy's computer, driving Boxxy into hiding and [[doxing]] her again to then show up at the house she was hiding from them in like a bunch of serial killers.

There June finally found "fame" due to her resemblance to Boxxy, and began acting as her clone for the sad nerds on the forum to jerk off to. This continued for some time until she made the mistake of agreeing to hang out [[IRL]] with the multiple men she had been leading on for years while already dating one of them behind their back. [[Almost Raped|You would expect this to end with her getting raped, but no such luck.]] Instead, one of the fat fucks she rejected, spurred by his dream of fucking someone who looks like boxxy being shattered, stole her phone when she was in the shower and took pictures of her screen while viewing her photo gallery full of nudes.

After June and her psychopaths returned home, her nudes were dropped on Unichan, alongside the fact she was as slut who is already fucking one of them, and the entire board of heartbroken autistics began openly gossiping and making fun of her, forcing her to leave.

[[File:Evenmoreshoe 06.png|center|800px]]

====June Creates [[lolcow.farm]] to Spy on Her Stalkers====
[[File:History of june.png|thumb|250px|June confirmed this true without realizing people can [[screencap]] on [[Discord]]]]
Outraged, June had another one of her beta orbiters, a hacker from the site who was famous for hacking Boxxy's computer and was clearly in love with Wig0nHead, create an infamous /[[cow/]] knockoff, called "lolcow.farm", just as some of the many Boxxy stalker sites she was involved in were having trouble staying online. She then got its userbases to migrate to her new board so that she and the poor sap who she got to do this for her could spent the next '''FUCKING YEAR AND SOME CHANGE''' watching every thread about her like a hawk, trying to smoke out who was talking about her by looking at their IP addresses.

In the end, June gave up and her "friend", who she no longer had a reason to pretend to like, gave the site to someone else and moved on with his life. 
Ironically, lolcow.farm still exists to this day and continues to be the #1 place online to go laugh at how pathetic its own creator really is.

{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Moreshoeonhead 02.jpg|800|400|}}|border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}}
<center>'''"Love letters" exchanged between June and the sad loser she duped into wasting a year of his life stalking internet strangers for her'''</center>

{{clear}}

====Additional Gossip from lolcow====

Another story that illustrates how duplicitous and attention hungry Dropped0nHead is, is a rumor about her one-sided relationship with some [https://twitter.com/robkaufmanlive guy named "Rob"], who was a local celebrity that June briefly developed a crush on. So what did she do? Change her entire personality from "KRAZY AND RANDOM XD CLONE OF BOXXXXY June" to "Mega Edgelord June - The Nigger Hater" to impress him, and then lured the lovesick sadsacks from Unichan onto his local access show so he can abuse and laugh at her "friends" with her on live air.

[[File:Lastshoe2.png|1100px|center]]

====June Leave her Black Boyfriend to Stay Popular with Internet Nazis====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 01.gif|thumb|right|220px|June will suck the dick of literally anyone as long as he's tall enough.]]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKCW59ZXJj8 As mentioned, June was able to find herself a boyfriend on Unichan, named "Andrew".] There were only 2 problems:

#He wasn't an e-fame hungry failure like she was.
#He was black.

Having at long last gained the attention she so desperately craved from [[GamerGate]] [[nazi]]s, and combined with the fact that her boyfriend had an apartment, job, was going to school and was trying to get her to grow up and move out of her mom and dad's house instead of staying at home all day and trying get popular online, June dumped her boyfriend so that she'd stop getting flack from /pol/tards about him being black, and in the future would describe their relationship as "Abusive" (ie: him trying to make her act like an adult) as "abusive". Which makes sense, because that's the same way she described her current boyfirend's relationship with his ex wife (who he cheated on with her while she was still dating the nigger) because she wouldn't let him play with toys.

{{Collapsegallery|Shoe the Racist|cg8|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Evenmoreshoe 01.png|June thinks [[fact|black people are stupid.]]
File:Evenmoreshoe 02.png|June would never say "Nigger"! (aside from the many times she did)
File:Evenmoreshoe 04.png|The only people who catcall are "[[niggers|Ghetto Trash]]"
File:Evenmoreshoe 08.jpg|June drawing swastikas on the beach
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoe0nheadisamudshark.png|center|700px]]

June is still butthurt about this and will {{hover|block|black}} anyone who brings it up.

==June - The fakest bitch alive==

One thing that June's fans don't know about her is: Everything. 
June is the fakest person you will ever encounter, lying about every single thing about herself and completely changing her entire personality at the drop of a hat to please whoever it is that is showering her with [[attention]] at the moment. Right now June is playing the shy, insecure, nerdy [[gamer girl]] who hates feminism to her audience to keep them paying her, while pretending to be a bisexual DDLG fetishist for her boyfriend, so that she can justify to herself letting him treat her like shit and allowing him to fuck other chicks in "threesomes" that she only participates in for his enjoyment because she's too scared he will leave her like he did his wife who wouldn't let him cheat.

<big>'''Things Shoe0nHead has Lied About'''</big>
[[File:Evenmoreshoe 03.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Old friend from Unichan reminisces about have fake and crazy June was]]

'''Personal Life:''' In the past, June has claimed to have been a [[goth]], shy, friendless nerd in high school that got bullied. However, in old videos she forgot to delete she happily admits to being a bully herself. Pictures of her prove she was never a goth and other videos show that both her claim that she had no friends or only guy friend are lies as well.

'''Appearance:''' Shoe constantly lies about her height, weight, measurements and wears a wig and 7 tons of makeup to hide the fact she's bald and has the skin of a leper. There's even a theory about her having had a boob job and her photoshopping pictures of herself to make her hips wider/slimmer depending on how fat/malnourished she is at the moment.

'''Internet History:''' Shoe will sometimes pretend she never even went to 4chan in her life, but people who know her from way back know she was a camwhore on [[b|/b/]] and went through a /pol/ phase when she was trying to impress some guy, then had her friend create lolcow.farm and allegedly still lurks [[8chan]] and gets caught white knighting herself there from time to time.

'''Romantic Life:''' June has claimed to have had 0 boyfriends, only 1 boyfriend, only 2 boyfriends, multiple boyfriends, being a kissless virgin until the age of 21, 15 and 13 and having had multiple sexual relationship. All depending on what crowd she's pandering to now.

'''Political Views:''' Liberal, libertarian, left libertarian, unaffiliated, June can be anything! Right now she's quickly disavowing her former right wing "friends" and parroting progressive talking points because she's trying to cozy up to [[SJW]]s.

'''Sexuality:''' June has stated she's completely straight, bisexual, "demi-sexual" and....... 30% gay. Right now she's pretending to be bi and reluctantly taking part in threesomes with her husband because its moderately better than just letting him cheat outright, which he will if she doesn't do it, just like he did with his ex wife. She also makes fun of fat people a lot, but fails to bring up the fact she used to be pretty chunky and pretends she thinks Armored Skeptic's morbid obesity is hot.

Even her voice changes depending on who she's talking to and her fucking name is fake.

==June's First Sad Attempt at E-Fame - "That 90's Show"==

After (or before?) being ousted from the Boxxy stalking community, ShoeGivesHead needed a new way to complete her glorious attention quest. Her plan? Create an unfunny "That 70's Show" ripoff inspired by [[Fred]] called "That 90's Show", that was somehow so cringy it made Fred look like Sammy Davis Jr. by comparison (also, the plot begins in 1998, which makes no sense).

Despite only filming 2 episodes and 8 "minisodes", June's [[unwarranted self importance]] was so massive, and her belief that this can somehow be used to propel her into stardom so misguided, that she took a page out of the [[Randy Stair]] playbook and forced her friends to each create their own YT account where they must post ''in character'' at all times (June's character was, of corse, "Loca", the KARAZY WACKY ONE! XDDDD), as well as multiple twitter accounts, ''two'' websites where people can add their own fan characters, and '''a fucking wiki about the show'''. All of this despite the fact they haven't actually produced anything yet and their "show" had no fans.

The show itself was a fucking atrocity. A poorly acted, poorly written, amateurishly filmed shitshow that felt like an asinine cross between "That 70's Show" and "Friends" that was created by a bunch of people who only know what humor even is because they read the word's definition in a dictionary. And since, aside from June, no one actually cared about this, they quickly devolved into posting blooper reels on their channel that no one cared about, uploading their cringy rants about religion, and making promises of future episodes that (thankfully) never came.

All that is now left of this abortion is listed at the bottom of this article. A dozen dead YT accounts, some abandoned sites and twitter accounts, and one review by an obscure blog, which was the only time anyone ever cared about this tire fire, and even then, just to laugh at it.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AU0zFvgNmpw</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==#GamerGate and Current Content==

[[Image:WhatShoeWants.png|thumb|What Shoe0nHead really wants]]

But after giving up on this for a year or two, finally, June's day had come. After years of trying to become e-famous, GamerGate became Shoe's big break. It was perfect, all she needed to do is hide her bald head and regurgitate lame anti-feminist talking points that she heard in other videos but didn't actually understand. And thanks to [[Thunderf00t]] stumbling across her video by mistake and liking it, this earned her the fame she always wanted from an audience of fedora wearing pedophiles who liked her because she looked 16 and said bunch of things they already agreed with. An anti-feminist girl who looks underaged but isn't and who doesn't look like Karen Straughan? She was perfect!

So what if she didn't do any research, never cited her sources, never read her sources and didn't pretend to be an intellectual? Sure, those are things that every other youtube skeptic™ criticizes SJW's for, but Shoe doesn't have to do that because she's a girl and everyone in GamerGate knows that girls are stupid and should be held to a lower standard (but don't call them misogynists!).

So despite her using her laptop mic and a 2$ webcam while others build entire studios. Despite making 4 videos a year while other YT Skeptics upload 3 times a week just to stay relevant. Despite all her videos being the same. Despite knowing and caring so little about the topic she can't even answer basic questions about it. Despite clearly having no respect for her audience. Despite '''not even playing video games'''. Despite her videos having awful editing, horrible lighting, horrendous audio spikes, are in 480p, and every other thing that makes it seems it is the first video on YouTube in 2009. Despite ALL of this, Shoe currently has '''the biggest and most successful YT skeptic channel''' just by virtue of being a girl. Which really show how worthy the entire community and audience is of being taken seriously.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>V58epBZisoE</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>AU0zFvgNmpw

====How to Make a Shoe Video====

#cover bald spot
#read buzzfeed article
#Stop every 2 minutes to say:
*"Kill me"
*"End my life"
*"What even is this?"

Upload as is and you're done.

Hilariously, despite the fact she puts in 0 effort, she has the nerve to talk shit about other youtuber in her circle like [[Bearing]], saying they're bullies who make lazy content and go after low hanging fruit. This after she herself has regularly had her followers bully fat chicks, elderly people, teenagers, crazy trannies (except her crazy tranny friends, of course), and one mentally disabled guy.

==Armored Skeptic - June's (<s>married</s> now divorced) boyfriend==

'''[[Armored Skeptic]]''' is June's cheating, morbidly obese fiance with an extra chromosome (this is not a joke). He met her online during GamerGate while he was hitting on every single woman he interacted with to add to the harem of women he was cheating on his wife with. Their dynamic solidified when they were in a Google hangout with [[Sargon of Akkad]],and flirted with each other in a cringy manner for 2 fucking hours making poor 'ole Sargon a would-be 3rd wheel. Shoe, who herself had a boyfriend at the time, was receptive to this and joined his brothel of potential sluts that included [[Jenny McDermott]], who he would also flirt with, several women he was fucking behind his wife's back and one woman who was dying of brain cancer and Greg was able to fuck thanks to her diminishing mental faculties and was then forced to continue to pretend to care about until she dies so that he wouldn't look bad for breaking up with a woman dying of cancer.

Growing more and more tired of Gregory's constantly sleeping around, his wife briefly used his accounts to contact his whores and tell them to to stop talking to her husband, but then she just divorced him. Later screenshots of June's Discord would be leaked where she describes Greg's wife as abusive '''because she would hide his toys and get mad at him for wasting all their money on Star Wars merchandise like a fucking child.'''

Gregory came out as the grand winner of this ordeal, and June came out the loser because now he has a mentally broken sex slave that lets him cheat on her and whose popularity he can use to continue to believe he can turn his youtube channel into a media empire one day, even though the only reason anyone subscribes to him is because they masturbate to pictures of his girlfriend. Pregory 1, June 0.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>6E2RVSMZ4dg</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

====June the Cuck====

With both of them broken up, they were free to initiate a pathetic, co-dependent relationship. Shoe now lives as Greg's long distance slave (because even though they have the money he refuses to let her live with him or she might catch him cheating). They are in a "24/7 BDSM relationship" that June constantly brags about online to convince herself that him cheating and mistreating her is just part of their "kink" and exposes June for the desperate loser doormat that she is. To further cope with the fact that her future husband openly flirts with camgirls on Twitter, June convinced herself that she's actually bisexual so that she could at least join in when Greg fucks other girls and pretend it's a threesome and not just cheating. This is another big win for Greg because he can use his bitch's serious abandonment issues to get her to have threesomes with him and random chicks he stalks online. Pregory 2, June 0.

{{Collapsegallery|The "June Gets Cucked" Collection|cg6|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cuckjune 02.jpg|June and Grug are "Poly"
File:Cuckjune 03.png|June "would have shared" her boyfriend (as if he's asking... but there's enough of his fat ass to go around)
File:Cuckjune 04.jpg|Greg flirting with whores on twitter
File:Cuckjune 05.png|Believed to be talking about Greg
File:Cuckjune 06.jpg|Greg flirting with twitter thots again
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Cuckjune 08.png|June learns what a "Cuck" is
File:Cuckjune 07.png|June realizes she's being cucked
File:Cuckjune 09.png|Canadian BDSM dating profile that seems to be Greg's
File:Cuckjune 10.jpg|Collage of camwhore accounts June's boyfriend followed on twitter and regularly tries to fuck
File:Cuckjune 11.png|Account by a woman claiming she had a threesome with them
File:Moreshoeonhead 11.png|Greg told chick he was single when he was married and let some of them believe they're in a relationship with him
File:Moreshoeonhead 13.png|Despite always cheating, Greg lost his shit when he thought June was trying to fuck Jeff Holiday
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

The hypocrisy of all of this is, of course, stunning, because, while Greg forces her to let him cheat or sleep with women for his enjoyment, he refuses to be part of a 2 man threesome for her and lost his fucking mind when he thought Jeff Holiday was trying to fuck her after he was friendly to her for half a minute at a fucking charity event, sending multiple people to DM him, demanding he not talk to his girlfriend, which Holiday publicly laughed at. All of this solidifies and reinforces the fact that Pregory ain't shit either, but more importantly that June is a deeply, deeply insecure person with extremely low self esteem. The fact that she is willing to put up with Greg's adultery by being his [[cuck]] and submitting to his every whim in order to satisfy him and thus not be abandoned by him shows just how pathetic and weak June really is.

====June and Greg - would-be pedophiles====

But the creepiest shit about their "relationship" is how fucking close it is to pedophilia. The fact that their sex lives revolve around a fetish where June pretends to be a little girl and calls Greg "Daddy" is bad enough, but add to that the fact that June acts like a child, talks like a child, dresses like a child, thinks like a child and looks so much like a child that Greg had to go out of his way to explain to people that she's actually an adult. Although, she's still so immature that he actually had to ask her parents for permission to fuck her. And this is clearly not all a coincidence, since June herself has said that Greg would leave her if her childlike measurements ever change. None of this is helped by June defending pedophiles online and Greg liking cartoon loli porn on twitter. It must be truly agonizing for June to have such mind-bogglingly low self-esteem where she stays with a man that does not love and respect her truly, and obeys said man to the umpteenth degree.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Pedo June 01.jpg|Greg thing [[loli]] costumes are hot
File:Pedo June 02.png|June thinks it's okay for men (Gregory) to want to fuck underaged girls
File:Cuckjune 01.png|Pregory likes [[Shadman]]'s cartoon [[CP]] on twitter
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoeonheadpedosidekink.jpg|center|370px]]

However, this isn't completely one-sided, since Greg's underdeveloped mind make him an overgrown baby himself, which is why, despite having already bankrupt himself once, his house is still filled to the brim with the same [[Star Wars]] toys his ex wife had to hide from him and divorce him because he wouldn't stop buying them. What a very sad [[Brett Keane|individual]].

But please don't imply that Greg is a pedo or else he might threaten to sue you like he did Jenny McDormatt.

==Candid - June and Greg Sell out Entire Skeptic Community for a few Shekels==

{{:BeCandid/nav}}

The [[Candid]] app was a scam website that signed paid promotion deals with youtube anti feminists, where it promoted itself as a "free speech" website, as part of a ploy to use their audience to train its automated censorship bot to be better at banning people who criticize feminism and things it just didn't like. And while many people fell for it, Shoe and Greg were the only ones who openly shilled for this website, even after they learned what the site was doing.

The full story is that this company, that already had a history of running scams and was openly run by SJWs, approached a number of "Skeptic" youtubers, who were so good at being skeptical that they signed the contract without looking into who they were entering into a binding, contractual relationship with, or even actually reading what they were signing to see that it included a 3 year NDA. The only person to realize what was going on was [[Harmful Opinions]], who exposed what they were doing. In response, Candid's own CEO doxed HO's mom and threatened her, as well as Mark Kern, who was talking online about its security vulnerabilities, both of whom were friends of Shoe and Greg up until that point.

In response, Shoe made a second video, claiming she wasn't under contract, and then '''deleted that video''' and made a second video '''promoting this website again''' even though, at this point, '''she already knew the company doxed two of her friends and was a scam to censor everyone in her friend circle.''' She then TOOK OVER GREG'S ACCOUNT and put word filters on it (without asking him), to censor everyone talking about what she did. This also means that she was either lying in her first video when she said she wasn't under contract, or she was telling the truth and then signed ''a new contract'', knowingly selling out everyone she knows for some quick cash.

Armored Skeptic took this a step further and '''{{ytlink|X8mEihrhS34|accepted money from Candid's CEO to make an attack video about Harmful Opinions.}}''' The saga eventually concluded when HO was proven to be 100% CORRECT and the site was shut down less than a year later and the bot was (thankfully) sold to Uber and not someone who could actually use it. HO's account was then mysteriously hacked immediately after this, and all videos about the topic wwere deleted. Meanwhile, Shoe and Greg can't even talk about it because they're still under an NDA, and yet still hypocritically complain about internet censorship, when they themselves were more than happy to potentially contribute to it for a few bucks.

And the cherry on top is that "Undoomed", a youtuber that, much like [[Bearing]], Shoe once criticized for being stupid, was the only "Skeptic" who was smart enough to read his contract before signing it and negotiate out of the NDA clause.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg10|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 1.PNG|200px|thumb|center|the concept of hypocrisy is lost on Greg
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 2.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June admits what she did
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 3.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June needs permission to speak but not to systematically censor people
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 4.PNG|200px|thumb|center|what everyone is thinking
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 5.png|200px|thumb|center|more maturity from Greg
Moreshoeonhead 18.png|Shoe admits what she did to HO, but still doesn't tell Greg
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==June Bullies a Mentally Disabled War Vet==
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|thumb|300px|Shoe's panicked DM's to HeHeSilly, begging him do something about the guy exposing her being a psycho]]
Whenever June needs validation, she has her fans bully random people she finds online, like a 50 year old Radfem with 500 subs she stumbled on one day. But sometimes the elderly are not enough for her and she has to go after homeless veterans with PTSD.

Such was the case with [https://www.bitchute.com/channel/lou_plisken/ one paranoid schizophrenic] with a gang-stalking obsession, who made somewhere in the ballpark of 20 videos claiming Shoe was a woman named "Sue" who was a girl that Armored kidnapped as a child and raised to be his slave in an international cat-fishing conspiracy that was planning to murder him. The man was obviously crazy, homeless, living out of his van and eating out of trash cans. But this didn't stop June from making multiple tweets pretending that she actually WAS "Sue" to scare this poor invalid.

She was soon called out by a twitter account that reposts "HeHeSillyComics" strips for being a fucking sociopath. June argued that she did nothing wrong and instead went crying to the person who makes HeHeSillyComics to tell him to shut this guy up. In the end, the guy running the account apologized (perhaps being forced by the comic's creator), and they both deleted all tweets related to this, after which the homeless guy Shoe was bullying, scared for his life, deleted his channel.

But the internet [http://archive.is/rE1e5 never] [http://archive.is/nuncj forgets.]

[[File:Moreshoeonhead 14.png|center|800px]]

==June Animorphs Into an SJW==

It's been a while and GamerGate nerds are no longer giving June enough attention, although if it wasn’t for being buddy-buddy with YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, and larger channels like Sargon of Akkad and Blaire White, Shoe0nHead probably would’ve remained a smaller channel that quickly fade into irrelevance after the GamerGate era ended. Nonetheless: Time to expand! And to do that she needs to change her entire personality again and throw more people under the bus with this simple, 3 part plan:

====Step 1: Break off friendships with incel conservatives and befriend violent leftist====

After years of insisting that their differing political views don't preclude them maintaining a friendship, June did to [[Lauren Southern]] exactly what she did to her black boyfriend Andrew when too many people were threatening to stop giving her attention, and threw her to the dogs in a moronic public statement.

A statement that she retracted hours later when she realized her cost/benefit analysis was off and she was losing more suckups with this move than she was gaining. She also took the time shortly prior to inform people that she no longer finds [[Steve Crowter|Steve Crowder]] funny because his dressing up as women all the time is offensive to her precious trannies or something.

Interestingly, despite her and Lauren now "going in different paths", June's paths seem to be converging with people like Shaun and Jen, a guy who said it's okay to kill right wingers because they aren't human, and ContraPoint who, in his video about "free speech", turned directly to the camera to threaten Dave Rubin in a hilarious attempt to intimidate him into not hosting conservatives on his show anymore.

Sadly for June, Contra at least has enough dignity not to acknowledge she even exists.

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 19.jpg|center|400px]]

<center>'''"I'm nyot fwiends with Steven Cwowdew anymowe uwu!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 24.jpg|center|600px]]

<center>'''"Wauwen Southew is a big poopy head 0W0!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

|}

====Step 2: Become an ill-informed trans crusader====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 15.jpg|thumb|right|300px|June - Two faced as usual]]

But it isn't enough for June to just suck Contra's cock online. No, June has taken to defending "trans right" with the same intellectual vigor she did anti-feminism. Just like with every other topic she comments on, June did zero research and decided that, after years of making fun of [[Transtrender]]s like [[Milo Stewart]] and [[Riley Dennis]], she no longer believes that Transtrenders are a thing and instead thinks that Milo and Riley are legit trannies because they started taking hormones (rather than two impressionable teenagers that are causing their bodies irreparable damage and giving themselves cancer with unnecessary HRT just to fit in with some clique).

Now June blindly defends any position that "supports" transgenders, thinks that calling transgenderism a mental illness is something only bigots do (even though that's literally what it is), and made it her new hobby online to fight with TERFS on twitter. She doesn't actually understand what she's defending or why. All she knows is that her making fun of trannies made them feel bad uwu and that this trumps all scientific facts, an attitude she used to cringily refer to as "feels over realz".

By doing this, June is perpetuating and attitude that is leading countless people who aren't transgender to undergo needless and permanent treatments, actual transgenders to pump their bodies full of cancerous chemicals when they could be cured with therapy, and generally leading more and more transgenders (real or not) to end up committing suicide... In other words: '''SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB AND SHOULD KEEP IT UP!'''

{{approve|using your ignorance and spinelessness to help drive trannies to suicide!}}

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg11|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 25.png|"This mental illness is not a mental illness and anyone who uses facts is a bigot!"
File:Moreshoeonhead 17.jpg|Her transformation is complete! Here she is telling someone [[Dave Chappelle]]'s tranny jokes aren't jokes because they hurt her feeling and because she says so
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

====Step 3: BLOCK EVERYONE====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 16.png|thumb|left|200px|Irony]]
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 21.gif|thumb|right|200px|More irony]]
After years of mocking [[Steve Shives]] for blocking people who make fun of him and people he never talked to because they might make fun of him, as well as taking screencaps of people who block her on twitter for her fans to laugh at, recently June has become so block-happy that people on lolcow.farm turned it into a game to see who can get blocked by her the fastest (just like people used to do with Steve). In the past she used to backpedal and say she only makes fun of Steve because he blocks people before they even tweeted at him (which isn't true), but as of 5/17/2018, the record for fastest shoe block changed from "under one minute" to "under one attosecond", as June has began blocking people who never talked to her because she saw them making fun of when when talking to someone else.

After [[Brittany Venti]] made a video about what a cunt she is (shown above), June took a prolonged "twitter break" that is actually being spent stalking ol' slug-face-brit's twitter and blocking anyone who mentions her video.

Interestingly, there's is a rumor that Pregory propositioned Venti as well.

'''How to get blocked by June:'''

*Tell her she's wrong about something
*Tell her that the Skeptic/Anti Sjw genre on youtube is dead
*say ANYTHING negative about the skeptic community
*Make fun of her wig. Seriously, any mention of her being bald or wearing wigs is an insta-block
*Make any remark towards her that's not covered in uwu and glitter (She'll block you whether malicious or not, she even does this to her fans)
*Bring up her past of bullying
*Bring up current instances of her bullying
*Bring up her black ex boyfriend
*Make a joke at her she doesn't understand (that's how Cognitive Thought got blocked)
*Remind her that [[truth|trans women are not real women]]
*[[Money|Ask why she cared about GamerGate when she hates video games]]
*Be friends with Venti
*Bring up her past of posting her shitty nudes online
*Call out her hypocrisy

Seriously, you don't even need to @ her to get blocked. She searches her name on twitter 24/7. She even searches variants of her name, like "shoe". [[batshit insane|That's right, Shoe0nHead sifts through thousands of posts on twitter under the search "shoe" so she can find people talking shit about her and block them.]] [[HAHAHA OH WOW|She'll even block people for following someone she doesn't like.]]

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 22.png|center|400px]]

<center>'''Shot'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 23.png|center|450px]]

<center>'''Chaser'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|}

==June Vs. Venti==
[[File:Shoe waistline.jpg|thumb|right|300px|is preggory the smol one now?]]

After the Lauren Southern incident, infamous streaming whore [[Brittany Venti]] decided to fuck with Shoe a little to show everyone how fake she is by making a video exposing her. June's immediate response to this was to "take a break" from the internet for two weeks by hiding away in her Discord with her legion of <s>cocksuckers</s> pussy lickers, and occasionally talk shit about Venti, not realizing that trolls are right there with her, screen-capping everything she says.

Meanwhile, Venti did not sit idly by and went on several streams talking more shit about shoe and doing an interview with one of her former friends (the aforementioned "Rob"), who went on her stream to try to defend her, but only ended up admitting that she's fake and that she lied about the age she lost her virginity, unless you count sucking an entire ocean of dicks as being a virgin. This is starting to sound like something written by an untalented fat hack that every pretentious film student, like June, would slob over.
<center><youtube>tpQqH4H_SUQ</youtube></center>

In the meantime, June would pop in and out of her self imposed exile, in her cocoon of sycophants, to block anyone on twitter who makes jokes at her, says anything bad about her, retweets anything Venti says, calls shoe "Shuwu" or "Shoe Shives", talks or follows Venti at all, and even her own fans who are being randomly blocked without understanding why for taking light jabs at her without noticing. When June finally emerged, she wrote a shitty response to the video, lying again, making excuses and ignoring parts she had no answer for.

So Venti made another video.

At the moment Shoe's fans have been able to get Venti's first video taken down from youtube (probably only temporarily) [https://www.bitchute.com/video/mpNB9_GDpuo/ and a copy can be found here.]

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|Venti Town|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>mpNB9_GDpuo</youtube>'''First bideo'''
|<youtube>mWnk4gkMuzw</youtube>'''Second bideo'''
|<youtube>bOehDgPZtwc</youtube>'''Interview with Rob'''
|<youtube>yttKdioMwVU</youtube>'''Deleted Kumite stream'''
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==Someone please call the police to save June's bunny from her==

In spite of her supposed love for bunnies, asking her fans to "send buns" on twitter every time she fucks up and even going so far as to choose an alias that means "Bunny", June's own rabbit is a constant victim of animal abuse.

*June refuses to neuter her bunny, leaving him sexually frustrated and pissing all over her room to the point the smell must be unbearable. She probably can't smell it from all the make-up and glue from her fake hair.
*June’s bunny’s piss at least smells better than June’s icky toejams.
*Feeds him things that bunnies can't properly digest.
*Doesn't own a second bunny to keep it from being lonely, which is considered so cruel that some countries make it illegal.
*Overfeeds it so it looks sickly and morbidly obese.
*Let a cat that is clearly trying to kill it stay in the room all night, staring at her (clearly terrified) bunny in its cage.
*And, worst of all, keeps it in a tiny cage that's meant for hamsters because she's too cheap to buy a bigger one, despite mooching off of her parents.

{{Collapsegallery|Animal Abuse|cg4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoebunny 01.png
File:Shoebunny 02.png
File:Shoebunny 03.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==The Fanbase==

June's fanbase is comprised mostly of sad, lonely men who watch [[Sargon of Akkad]] videos in the morning and think that makes them intellectual, and then jack off to Shoe's videos at night, while pretending that what she says is equally valuable, even though it isn't, even with the laughably low bar that other youtube skeptics have set. As of 2021, she coddles the far right.

Whenever anyone dares insult their precious shouwu, or even do nothing at aside from being mentioned by Shoe on twitter (never by name so she can pretend she isn't talking about anyone in particular, even when everyone knows who her tweet is directed at), Shoe's fans will pounce on that person and be mildly annoying. Because, while their rage at anyone insulting their imaginary internet girlfriend burns with the power of a million suns, the fans themselves are incompetent and can only retaliate by giving videos about her dislikes and leaving mean comments, making them perfect targets to be baited and trolled. The only people Shoe's fans CAN go up against and win are easily triggered teenage feminists, mentally ill army vets, elderly women June find online, and small children. Even though, even when they attacked a young girl for pointing out June abuses her bunny, they weren't able to actually scare her.

==June and Pregory break up==

As of mid 2020 it was announced that June and Pregory are no longer dating. A 5 year relationship down the drain. LOL. Pregory totally dominated Shoe in every way, whether it was in the bedroom and their lifestyle and just in general. Pregory totally won that.

==June's Ideological Snafus==

June's biggest consistency is her inconsistency. She has yet to cogently explain her ideology and what she actually believes, surprising literally no one under the Sun. On one hand, she claims to be a far leftist and recently a Huey Long superfan, but is also extremely soft on right-wingers and tries to cater to those that are still left over from the 2016 anti-SJW days. Her friendship with Lauren Southern is one hallmark example of this. The bitch can't make up her mind LOL. Shoe doesn't seem to take policy seriously, but can you really blame her when humanity and namely, the USA, is pretty much fucked? Might as well mindlessly make memes of it instead of actually using her power as a commentator to make meaningful change. I am not saying no memes, but commentators are supposed to ya know, comment. Instead, she just offers vanilla, surface-level takes that can be debunked in 5 minutes. Sad state of affairs.

==June: A Summary Of Fail==

Despite being the most successful skeptic channel with 1.1 million subscribers, June IRL has still been a total failure. From the fact that she still lives with her parents at 27, her failure as a film student, her lack of a genuine ideology or set of beliefs, her multiple failed attempts at e-fame, various forums that have exposed her, [[Shoe0nhead|this article]], Venti's two videos where she absolutely owns Shoe and the cherry on top of the shit sundae: her co-dependent, loveless relationship where she is the sub and cuck to manchild, [[Armoured Skeptic|Pregory]]; Pregory 4, June 0. June has demonstrated a penchant for failure and being the LOLcow that she claims to laugh at. Despite being a successful YouTuber, she is still a failcow that has no real belief system and is in reality a pandering, people-pleasing, desperate and duplicitous person with abandonment issues who is so desperate to be liked that she is willing to pander to the lowest of the low, neckbeards. June is a pathetic loser because her YouTube content is shit and asinine with her cringy and contrived “cutesy chick” persona. However, June at least gets credit for having been blessed with a cute face. But still: Reality 12, June 0.

==Images==

{{Collapsegallery|Nudes|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead Nudes 1.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 2.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 3.jpg
File:shoe-on-head-nudes-5.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead confirmed.png
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoenudes 07.jpg|Allegedly her ass
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Dressing/Acting Like a Whore|cg21|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead_nudes_4.png
File:Shoenudes 09.jpg
File:Sh0eOnHead Braceface.jpg
File:Shoenudes 01.png
File:Moreshoepics 01.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Moreshoepics 02.jpg|Her sister
File:Moreshoepics 03.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 04.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 05.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 06.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 09.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 10.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 13.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 14.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 15.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 16.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 17.jpg
File:Shoe-and-mirror.jpg|Proof of one of the pics
File:Last shoe.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Whore gifs|cg3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoenudes 02.gif
File:Shoenudes 03.gif
File:Shoenudes 04.gif
File:Shoenudes 05.gif
File:Shoenudes 06.gif
File:Moreshoepics 07.gif
File:Moreshoepics 08.gif
File:Moreshoepics 11.gif
File:Moreshoepics 12.gif
File:Juneshoegif.gif
File:Moreshoeonhead 12.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|"Fan" Art|cg2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:ShoeAndSkeptic.jpg
File:MoarLulzyShoe.jpg
File:Shoefanart 01.jpg
File:Shoefanart 02.png
File:Shoefanart 03.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoefanart 04.png
File:Shoefanart 05.jpg
File:Shoefanart 06.jpg
File:Shoefanart 07.jpg
File:Shoefanart 08.png
File:Shoefanart 09.jpg
File:Shoefanart 10.jpg
File:Shoefanart 12.jpg
File:Shoefanart 11.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 18.png
File:Extrashoe 01.png
File:Extrashoe 02.gif
File:Extrashoe 03.png
File:Extrashoe 04.png
File:Extrashoe 05.png
File:Extrashoe 06.png
File:Extrashoe 07.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Miscellaneous|cg7|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 03.png|Poor high school bullying victim Shoe making fun of fat chicks
File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|Shoe is fat
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg|June "I never had any friends or boyfriends" Lapine
File:Moreshoeonhead 09.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 20.png|lol bald
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Evenmoreshoe 05.png|Shoe runs her own fan twitter account (possibly several)
File:Moreshoeonhead 05.jpg
File:Evenmoreshoe 07.jpg|The daughter June's parents aren't ashamed of because she isn't a failure
File:Moreshoeonhead 06.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg
File:ShoeOnHead 2006 Edgy.png|Still as much attention whore as she was {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}} - 2006}} years ago
File:Junetheloon.jpg|thumb|Part 2
File:JuneFat.jpg|thumb|Plushies can only hide your rolls for so long
File:Coworkers.png|Can't imagine why her coworkers didn't like her.
File:Realhair.png|June used to brag about how long her hair was before coming out about it being a wig.
File:Moreshoeonhead 07.jpg
File:Shoeonheadanimeavatarhater.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

<center><big>'''"Fan" Videos'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|clone wars|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>MdKQQa0Kktc</youtube>
|<youtube>HlloqD2bThs</youtube>
|<youtube>gj3mVNnwRkM</youtube>
|<youtube>urpzaeMxVfs</youtube>
|<youtube>rhz3oXK9294</youtube>
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==See Also==

*[[Boxxy]] - for obvious reasons
*[[GamerGate]]
*[[Armored skeptic]] - Cheating slavemaster boyfriend who owns her
*[[Unichan]] - Stalker community she was a part of
*[[CatieWayne.com]] -Another Boxxy stalking site she may have been on
*[[Lolcow.farm]] - Created this site just to spy on people who gossip about her
*[[Brittany Venti]] - Her successor. Completely devastated June, not once but TWICE, and really opened the floodgates of exposure
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - Blocked him on twitter because he said she's cute
*[[Jenny McDermott]] - Braindead retard
*[[LeafyIsHere]] - she looks like him in a wig... or he looks like her without her wig
*[[The Satiratician]] - Only funny thing June has ever done, and even that was by accident
*[[Ian]] - Believed to have been Junes old hacker friend
*[[Einsidler]] - [[Fanboy|Fanperson]]
*[[Attention Whore]]

==External Links ==

* {{yt|c|UC0aanx5rpr7D1M7KCFYzrLQ|Shoe0nHead}}
* {{yt|c|UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q|Personal channel}} - This one has been hastily deleted ([https://web.archive.org/web/20170720150815/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q Archive])
* {{yt|u|shoe0ffhead|Shoe0ffHead}} - Every video was deleted in 2021. ([https://web.archive.org/web/20130902055258/https://www.youtube.com/user/shoe0ffhead First Archive]) ([https://web.archive.org/web/20190501115004/https://www.youtube.com/user/Shoe0ffHead Middle Archive]) ([https://web.archive.org/web/20201124090144/https://www.youtube.com/user/Shoe0ffHead Last Archive])
* {{twitter|shoe0nhead}}
* {{twitter|MisandryQu33n}} - No brain activity since 2017.
* {{twitter|yo_juneskii|Old twitter}}
* [https://archive.is/2mWZq Her Boxxy wiki article]
* {{archive|S6AGy|Archive of an 8chan thread where she allegedly tried to white knight herself}}
* [https://archive.org/details/youtube-WzwD4T_PV_U Archive of video she deleted]
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=creator%3A%22June+Smith%22 Another archive]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090325064513/https://myspace.com/notthebrightestofthebunch Archive of her old LiveJournal]
* [http://chan.catiewayne.com/m/res/3016.html A thread on another Boxxy stalking site about June]
* {{fb|nikki.lasagnaa|Old facebook}}
* {{fb|oliver.doop.3|Stupid fan page she made for another one}}
* {{fb|ollie.doop|She made at least one more of these}}
* {{myspace|juneskii|Old Myspace}}
* [http://206.223.147.214/shoe0nhead/res/82.html Collection of deleted videos]
* {{dauser|s0upy|Her old DA account}}
* [http://ian-iansblogblogspotcom.blogspot.co.il/2011/08/that-90s-show-is-fail.html Review of her awful "show"]
* {{youtube|9nJa1xfV48w|Shoe blocks other youtuber for making a joke at her}}
* [http://www.formspring.me/juneskii Hastily deleted old forumspring]
* {{instagram|juneskii|Old Instagram}}
* {{Instagram|junelapine|Another old Instagram}}
* {{instagram|shoe0nhead|Current Instagram}}
* {{Soundcloud|s0upy|Her awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|juneskii|Her other awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|shoe0nhead|Her THIRD awful SoundCloud}}
* {{myspace|yo_juneskii|Her MySpace}}
* {{myspace|obeast_man_321|Friend's myspace}}
* {{myspace|junexx|Her sister's MySpace}}
* {{instagram|saruh_michelle|Sister's Instagram}}
* {{fb|sarah.laporta.5|Sister's Facebook}}
* [https://meritpages.com/laporta sister's meritpage]
* [https://ask.fm/shoeqanda Another ask.fm]
* [https://shoe0nhead.blogspot.ca Her shitty blog]

'''June's Endless Collection of Abandoned YT Accounts:'''

'''90's Show Shit''' 
* {{yt|u|90sShowLoca|90sShowLoca}}
* {{yt|u|THAT90sCHANNEL|THAT90sCHANNEL}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowGillz|90sShowGillz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowJames|90sShowJames}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowShortz|90sShowShortz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowSarah|90sShowSarah}}
* {{yt|u|JAFSvideos|JAFSvideos}}
* {{twitter|90sshowloca|Show's twitter}}
* [http://that90sshow.weebly.com/characters.html Show's website]

'''Other'''

* {{yt|u|xjunesVlogx|xjunesVlogx}}
* {{yt|c|UC6PXKhzWTKGuLU7qQJsnoag|hosowa}}
* {{yt|u|galaxxygal|galaxxygal}}
* {{yt|u|kikichanXD|kikichanXD}}
* {{yt|u|NikkiNarcoticxxx|NikkiNarcoticxxx}}
* {{yt|u|BoopyJuneVlogs|BoopyJuneVlogs}}
* {{yt|u|itsjuneskiibroskii|itsjuneskiibroskii}}
* {{yt|u|HalloSoupy|HalloSoupy}}
* {{yt|u|WTFisANupload|WTFisANupload}}
* {{yt|u|LOLBUNNEHS|LOLBUNNEHS}}
* {{yt|c|UCdZec7vEex5N0FGYfDP3eyQ|June la porta}}
* {{yt|c|UCIYE5tSuk49aAXnrZObMVVw|bun0nhead}}
* {{yt|c|UCR-SCdcKWeZOnCddApH1zdg|misandryqu33n}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1pOHjcHlyJsFu7O2hsERsqWUXtDJl9Ca Playlist of old videos]
* There are probably a million more

{{Portals|youtube|whores}}
{{GamerGate}}
{{Sektur}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 14 & 15, [[2017]]|[[Very proud to be an asian]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[HWNDU]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 26 & 27, [[2018]]|[[Armored Skeptic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Totalbiscuit]]}}

[[Category:People]]

Shoe0nHead

2026-06-08T19:30:30Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Dead lllink repaie: her boxxy wiki articccle

{{gotis}}

{{quote|So RationalWiki is a biased website. It is biased and they even acknowledge the fact that they are biased. They are like Encyclopedia fucking Dramatica.|Dropped0nHead|Just for comparing us to RW you deserve [[rape|this article.]]}}

[[File:Shoeonheadnomakeup.png|thumb|What June wants her orbiters to think she looks without makeup. Note the eyebrows, eyeliner, and foundation.]]
[[File:Shoe0nhead bald.jpg|thumb|What she'll look like if she reads this article]]

:''Were you looking for the shitty meme'' '''''"[[Put Shoe On Head]]"''''' ''?'' - ''Why? Is it 2006 again?'' 
:''Were you looking for'' '''''[[K-hate|our own ShoeOnHead]]''''' ''?'' - ''Again, why?'' 

'''Shoe0nHead''' (AKA '''[[Powerword|June Nicole La Porta]]''' or '''Lapine''' because it's [[French]] for bunny and she's so soft and cute uwu) is a {{age|1991|6|22}} year old failed film student, and S&M submissive fetishist that still lives with her parents, after having dropped out and given up on filmmaking due to having zero talent, and is now unemployed and getting by on handouts from fellow losers on [[youtube]]. She is basically the Wile E. Coyote of the skeptic community.

Prior to this, she spent nearly 8 years desperately trying to become internet famous by whoring for the attention of horny virgins online and posting nudes on [[4chan]], before stumbling onto a community of [[boxxy]] stalkers whose userbase worshipped at her feet, while she acted as their cum-rag by being a full-time boxxy's lookalike, until they stole her nudes and she left.

She then had another one of her orbiters create [[lolcow.farm]] as a honeypot to obsessively stalk people who gossiped about her for over a year, then changed her entire personality again and disappeared for a year, reemerging during [[GamerGate]] to finally find "success" in the form of an audience of fedora-wearing MRAs that cream their pants at the idea of a cute-ish girl (they don't know she's bald) who hates feminism, even if she hasn't made a single intelligent argument in any of her videos (even by YT [[skeptic]]'s standards).

Today June continues to waste her life, making 1 video every 2 months in the lowest possible quality, as she laughs at how pathetic her fanbase is, sells them out to a company that used them as practice targets for a self-teaching censorship bot, harasses mentally disabled people on twitter, blocks anyone who disagrees with her and plans to marry a {{age|1984|8|11}} year old, morbidly obese, manchild divorcee and youtuber, who cheated on his wife with her (and like 10 other girls), and who she cheated on her boyfriend with, who now openly cheats on her as well, as her fans continue to jerk off while thinking about her and then pay her to cuck them with some other guy, that then cucks her in return.

__TOC__

[[File:Lastshoe.png|1000px|center]]

==June on Unichan - Obsessive Boxxy Stalker==

Before being known as "Shoe0nHead", June was a known internet thot who would spam 4chan with her nudes. This until she discovered "[[Unichan]]", a community of psychotic [[Boxxy]] stalkers who were infamous for hacking Boxxy's computer, driving Boxxy into hiding and [[doxing]] her again to then show up at the house she was hiding from them in like a bunch of serial killers.

There June finally found "fame" due to her resemblance to Boxxy, and began acting as her clone for the sad nerds on the forum to jerk off to. This continued for some time until she made the mistake of agreeing to hang out [[IRL]] with the multiple men she had been leading on for years while already dating one of them behind their back. [[Almost Raped|You would expect this to end with her getting raped, but no such luck.]] Instead, one of the fat fucks she rejected, spurred by his dream of fucking someone who looks like boxxy being shattered, stole her phone when she was in the shower and took pictures of her screen while viewing her photo gallery full of nudes.

After June and her psychopaths returned home, her nudes were dropped on Unichan, alongside the fact she was as slut who is already fucking one of them, and the entire board of heartbroken autistics began openly gossiping and making fun of her, forcing her to leave.

[[File:Evenmoreshoe 06.png|center|800px]]

====June Creates [[lolcow.farm]] to Spy on Her Stalkers====
[[File:History of june.png|thumb|250px|June confirmed this true without realizing people can [[screencap]] on [[Discord]]]]
Outraged, June had another one of her beta orbiters, a hacker from the site who was famous for hacking Boxxy's computer and was clearly in love with Wig0nHead, create an infamous /[[cow/]] knockoff, called "lolcow.farm", just as some of the many Boxxy stalker sites she was involved in were having trouble staying online. She then got its userbases to migrate to her new board so that she and the poor sap who she got to do this for her could spent the next '''FUCKING YEAR AND SOME CHANGE''' watching every thread about her like a hawk, trying to smoke out who was talking about her by looking at their IP addresses.

In the end, June gave up and her "friend", who she no longer had a reason to pretend to like, gave the site to someone else and moved on with his life. 
Ironically, lolcow.farm still exists to this day and continues to be the #1 place online to go laugh at how pathetic its own creator really is.

{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Moreshoeonhead 02.jpg|800|400|}}|border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}}
<center>'''"Love letters" exchanged between June and the sad loser she duped into wasting a year of his life stalking internet strangers for her'''</center>

{{clear}}

====Additional Gossip from lolcow====

Another story that illustrates how duplicitous and attention hungry Dropped0nHead is, is a rumor about her one-sided relationship with some [https://twitter.com/robkaufmanlive guy named "Rob"], who was a local celebrity that June briefly developed a crush on. So what did she do? Change her entire personality from "KRAZY AND RANDOM XD CLONE OF BOXXXXY June" to "Mega Edgelord June - The Nigger Hater" to impress him, and then lured the lovesick sadsacks from Unichan onto his local access show so he can abuse and laugh at her "friends" with her on live air.

[[File:Lastshoe2.png|1100px|center]]

====June Leave her Black Boyfriend to Stay Popular with Internet Nazis====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 01.gif|thumb|right|220px|June will suck the dick of literally anyone as long as he's tall enough.]]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKCW59ZXJj8 As mentioned, June was able to find herself a boyfriend on Unichan, named "Andrew".] There were only 2 problems:

#He wasn't an e-fame hungry failure like she was.
#He was black.

Having at long last gained the attention she so desperately craved from [[GamerGate]] [[nazi]]s, and combined with the fact that her boyfriend had an apartment, job, was going to school and was trying to get her to grow up and move out of her mom and dad's house instead of staying at home all day and trying get popular online, June dumped her boyfriend so that she'd stop getting flack from /pol/tards about him being black, and in the future would describe their relationship as "Abusive" (ie: him trying to make her act like an adult) as "abusive". Which makes sense, because that's the same way she described her current boyfirend's relationship with his ex wife (who he cheated on with her while she was still dating the nigger) because she wouldn't let him play with toys.

{{Collapsegallery|Shoe the Racist|cg8|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Evenmoreshoe 01.png|June thinks [[fact|black people are stupid.]]
File:Evenmoreshoe 02.png|June would never say "Nigger"! (aside from the many times she did)
File:Evenmoreshoe 04.png|The only people who catcall are "[[niggers|Ghetto Trash]]"
File:Evenmoreshoe 08.jpg|June drawing swastikas on the beach
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoe0nheadisamudshark.png|center|700px]]

June is still butthurt about this and will {{hover|block|black}} anyone who brings it up.

==June - The fakest bitch alive==

One thing that June's fans don't know about her is: Everything. 
June is the fakest person you will ever encounter, lying about every single thing about herself and completely changing her entire personality at the drop of a hat to please whoever it is that is showering her with [[attention]] at the moment. Right now June is playing the shy, insecure, nerdy [[gamer girl]] who hates feminism to her audience to keep them paying her, while pretending to be a bisexual DDLG fetishist for her boyfriend, so that she can justify to herself letting him treat her like shit and allowing him to fuck other chicks in "threesomes" that she only participates in for his enjoyment because she's too scared he will leave her like he did his wife who wouldn't let him cheat.

<big>'''Things Shoe0nHead has Lied About'''</big>
[[File:Evenmoreshoe 03.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Old friend from Unichan reminisces about have fake and crazy June was]]

'''Personal Life:''' In the past, June has claimed to have been a [[goth]], shy, friendless nerd in high school that got bullied. However, in old videos she forgot to delete she happily admits to being a bully herself. Pictures of her prove she was never a goth and other videos show that both her claim that she had no friends or only guy friend are lies as well.

'''Appearance:''' Shoe constantly lies about her height, weight, measurements and wears a wig and 7 tons of makeup to hide the fact she's bald and has the skin of a leper. There's even a theory about her having had a boob job and her photoshopping pictures of herself to make her hips wider/slimmer depending on how fat/malnourished she is at the moment.

'''Internet History:''' Shoe will sometimes pretend she never even went to 4chan in her life, but people who know her from way back know she was a camwhore on [[b|/b/]] and went through a /pol/ phase when she was trying to impress some guy, then had her friend create lolcow.farm and allegedly still lurks [[8chan]] and gets caught white knighting herself there from time to time.

'''Romantic Life:''' June has claimed to have had 0 boyfriends, only 1 boyfriend, only 2 boyfriends, multiple boyfriends, being a kissless virgin until the age of 21, 15 and 13 and having had multiple sexual relationship. All depending on what crowd she's pandering to now.

'''Political Views:''' Liberal, libertarian, left libertarian, unaffiliated, June can be anything! Right now she's quickly disavowing her former right wing "friends" and parroting progressive talking points because she's trying to cozy up to [[SJW]]s.

'''Sexuality:''' June has stated she's completely straight, bisexual, "demi-sexual" and....... 30% gay. Right now she's pretending to be bi and reluctantly taking part in threesomes with her husband because its moderately better than just letting him cheat outright, which he will if she doesn't do it, just like he did with his ex wife. She also makes fun of fat people a lot, but fails to bring up the fact she used to be pretty chunky and pretends she thinks Armored Skeptic's morbid obesity is hot.

Even her voice changes depending on who she's talking to and her fucking name is fake.

==June's First Sad Attempt at E-Fame - "That 90's Show"==

After (or before?) being ousted from the Boxxy stalking community, ShoeGivesHead needed a new way to complete her glorious attention quest. Her plan? Create an unfunny "That 70's Show" ripoff inspired by [[Fred]] called "That 90's Show", that was somehow so cringy it made Fred look like Sammy Davis Jr. by comparison (also, the plot begins in 1998, which makes no sense).

Despite only filming 2 episodes and 8 "minisodes", June's [[unwarranted self importance]] was so massive, and her belief that this can somehow be used to propel her into stardom so misguided, that she took a page out of the [[Randy Stair]] playbook and forced her friends to each create their own YT account where they must post ''in character'' at all times (June's character was, of corse, "Loca", the KARAZY WACKY ONE! XDDDD), as well as multiple twitter accounts, ''two'' websites where people can add their own fan characters, and '''a fucking wiki about the show'''. All of this despite the fact they haven't actually produced anything yet and their "show" had no fans.

The show itself was a fucking atrocity. A poorly acted, poorly written, amateurishly filmed shitshow that felt like an asinine cross between "That 70's Show" and "Friends" that was created by a bunch of people who only know what humor even is because they read the word's definition in a dictionary. And since, aside from June, no one actually cared about this, they quickly devolved into posting blooper reels on their channel that no one cared about, uploading their cringy rants about religion, and making promises of future episodes that (thankfully) never came.

All that is now left of this abortion is listed at the bottom of this article. A dozen dead YT accounts, some abandoned sites and twitter accounts, and one review by an obscure blog, which was the only time anyone ever cared about this tire fire, and even then, just to laugh at it.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AU0zFvgNmpw</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==#GamerGate and Current Content==

[[Image:WhatShoeWants.png|thumb|What Shoe0nHead really wants]]

But after giving up on this for a year or two, finally, June's day had come. After years of trying to become e-famous, GamerGate became Shoe's big break. It was perfect, all she needed to do is hide her bald head and regurgitate lame anti-feminist talking points that she heard in other videos but didn't actually understand. And thanks to [[Thunderf00t]] stumbling across her video by mistake and liking it, this earned her the fame she always wanted from an audience of fedora wearing pedophiles who liked her because she looked 16 and said bunch of things they already agreed with. An anti-feminist girl who looks underaged but isn't and who doesn't look like Karen Straughan? She was perfect!

So what if she didn't do any research, never cited her sources, never read her sources and didn't pretend to be an intellectual? Sure, those are things that every other youtube skeptic™ criticizes SJW's for, but Shoe doesn't have to do that because she's a girl and everyone in GamerGate knows that girls are stupid and should be held to a lower standard (but don't call them misogynists!).

So despite her using her laptop mic and a 2$ webcam while others build entire studios. Despite making 4 videos a year while other YT Skeptics upload 3 times a week just to stay relevant. Despite all her videos being the same. Despite knowing and caring so little about the topic she can't even answer basic questions about it. Despite clearly having no respect for her audience. Despite '''not even playing video games'''. Despite her videos having awful editing, horrible lighting, horrendous audio spikes, are in 480p, and every other thing that makes it seems it is the first video on YouTube in 2009. Despite ALL of this, Shoe currently has '''the biggest and most successful YT skeptic channel''' just by virtue of being a girl. Which really show how worthy the entire community and audience is of being taken seriously.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>V58epBZisoE</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>AU0zFvgNmpw

====How to Make a Shoe Video====

#cover bald spot
#read buzzfeed article
#Stop every 2 minutes to say:
*"Kill me"
*"End my life"
*"What even is this?"

Upload as is and you're done.

Hilariously, despite the fact she puts in 0 effort, she has the nerve to talk shit about other youtuber in her circle like [[Bearing]], saying they're bullies who make lazy content and go after low hanging fruit. This after she herself has regularly had her followers bully fat chicks, elderly people, teenagers, crazy trannies (except her crazy tranny friends, of course), and one mentally disabled guy.

==Armored Skeptic - June's (<s>married</s> now divorced) boyfriend==

'''[[Armored Skeptic]]''' is June's cheating, morbidly obese fiance with an extra chromosome (this is not a joke). He met her online during GamerGate while he was hitting on every single woman he interacted with to add to the harem of women he was cheating on his wife with. Their dynamic solidified when they were in a Google hangout with [[Sargon of Akkad]],and flirted with each other in a cringy manner for 2 fucking hours making poor 'ole Sargon a would-be 3rd wheel. Shoe, who herself had a boyfriend at the time, was receptive to this and joined his brothel of potential sluts that included [[Jenny McDermott]], who he would also flirt with, several women he was fucking behind his wife's back and one woman who was dying of brain cancer and Greg was able to fuck thanks to her diminishing mental faculties and was then forced to continue to pretend to care about until she dies so that he wouldn't look bad for breaking up with a woman dying of cancer.

Growing more and more tired of Gregory's constantly sleeping around, his wife briefly used his accounts to contact his whores and tell them to to stop talking to her husband, but then she just divorced him. Later screenshots of June's Discord would be leaked where she describes Greg's wife as abusive '''because she would hide his toys and get mad at him for wasting all their money on Star Wars merchandise like a fucking child.'''

Gregory came out as the grand winner of this ordeal, and June came out the loser because now he has a mentally broken sex slave that lets him cheat on her and whose popularity he can use to continue to believe he can turn his youtube channel into a media empire one day, even though the only reason anyone subscribes to him is because they masturbate to pictures of his girlfriend. Pregory 1, June 0.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>6E2RVSMZ4dg</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

====June the Cuck====

With both of them broken up, they were free to initiate a pathetic, co-dependent relationship. Shoe now lives as Greg's long distance slave (because even though they have the money he refuses to let her live with him or she might catch him cheating). They are in a "24/7 BDSM relationship" that June constantly brags about online to convince herself that him cheating and mistreating her is just part of their "kink" and exposes June for the desperate loser doormat that she is. To further cope with the fact that her future husband openly flirts with camgirls on Twitter, June convinced herself that she's actually bisexual so that she could at least join in when Greg fucks other girls and pretend it's a threesome and not just cheating. This is another big win for Greg because he can use his bitch's serious abandonment issues to get her to have threesomes with him and random chicks he stalks online. Pregory 2, June 0.

{{Collapsegallery|The "June Gets Cucked" Collection|cg6|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cuckjune 02.jpg|June and Grug are "Poly"
File:Cuckjune 03.png|June "would have shared" her boyfriend (as if he's asking... but there's enough of his fat ass to go around)
File:Cuckjune 04.jpg|Greg flirting with whores on twitter
File:Cuckjune 05.png|Believed to be talking about Greg
File:Cuckjune 06.jpg|Greg flirting with twitter thots again
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Cuckjune 08.png|June learns what a "Cuck" is
File:Cuckjune 07.png|June realizes she's being cucked
File:Cuckjune 09.png|Canadian BDSM dating profile that seems to be Greg's
File:Cuckjune 10.jpg|Collage of camwhore accounts June's boyfriend followed on twitter and regularly tries to fuck
File:Cuckjune 11.png|Account by a woman claiming she had a threesome with them
File:Moreshoeonhead 11.png|Greg told chick he was single when he was married and let some of them believe they're in a relationship with him
File:Moreshoeonhead 13.png|Despite always cheating, Greg lost his shit when he thought June was trying to fuck Jeff Holiday
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

The hypocrisy of all of this is, of course, stunning, because, while Greg forces her to let him cheat or sleep with women for his enjoyment, he refuses to be part of a 2 man threesome for her and lost his fucking mind when he thought Jeff Holiday was trying to fuck her after he was friendly to her for half a minute at a fucking charity event, sending multiple people to DM him, demanding he not talk to his girlfriend, which Holiday publicly laughed at. All of this solidifies and reinforces the fact that Pregory ain't shit either, but more importantly that June is a deeply, deeply insecure person with extremely low self esteem. The fact that she is willing to put up with Greg's adultery by being his [[cuck]] and submitting to his every whim in order to satisfy him and thus not be abandoned by him shows just how pathetic and weak June really is.

====June and Greg - would-be pedophiles====

But the creepiest shit about their "relationship" is how fucking close it is to pedophilia. The fact that their sex lives revolve around a fetish where June pretends to be a little girl and calls Greg "Daddy" is bad enough, but add to that the fact that June acts like a child, talks like a child, dresses like a child, thinks like a child and looks so much like a child that Greg had to go out of his way to explain to people that she's actually an adult. Although, she's still so immature that he actually had to ask her parents for permission to fuck her. And this is clearly not all a coincidence, since June herself has said that Greg would leave her if her childlike measurements ever change. None of this is helped by June defending pedophiles online and Greg liking cartoon loli porn on twitter. It must be truly agonizing for June to have such mind-bogglingly low self-esteem where she stays with a man that does not love and respect her truly, and obeys said man to the umpteenth degree.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Pedo June 01.jpg|Greg thing [[loli]] costumes are hot
File:Pedo June 02.png|June thinks it's okay for men (Gregory) to want to fuck underaged girls
File:Cuckjune 01.png|Pregory likes [[Shadman]]'s cartoon [[CP]] on twitter
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoeonheadpedosidekink.jpg|center|370px]]

However, this isn't completely one-sided, since Greg's underdeveloped mind make him an overgrown baby himself, which is why, despite having already bankrupt himself once, his house is still filled to the brim with the same [[Star Wars]] toys his ex wife had to hide from him and divorce him because he wouldn't stop buying them. What a very sad [[Brett Keane|individual]].

But please don't imply that Greg is a pedo or else he might threaten to sue you like he did Jenny McDormatt.

==Candid - June and Greg Sell out Entire Skeptic Community for a few Shekels==

{{:BeCandid/nav}}

The [[Candid]] app was a scam website that signed paid promotion deals with youtube anti feminists, where it promoted itself as a "free speech" website, as part of a ploy to use their audience to train its automated censorship bot to be better at banning people who criticize feminism and things it just didn't like. And while many people fell for it, Shoe and Greg were the only ones who openly shilled for this website, even after they learned what the site was doing.

The full story is that this company, that already had a history of running scams and was openly run by SJWs, approached a number of "Skeptic" youtubers, who were so good at being skeptical that they signed the contract without looking into who they were entering into a binding, contractual relationship with, or even actually reading what they were signing to see that it included a 3 year NDA. The only person to realize what was going on was [[Harmful Opinions]], who exposed what they were doing. In response, Candid's own CEO doxed HO's mom and threatened her, as well as Mark Kern, who was talking online about its security vulnerabilities, both of whom were friends of Shoe and Greg up until that point.

In response, Shoe made a second video, claiming she wasn't under contract, and then '''deleted that video''' and made a second video '''promoting this website again''' even though, at this point, '''she already knew the company doxed two of her friends and was a scam to censor everyone in her friend circle.''' She then TOOK OVER GREG'S ACCOUNT and put word filters on it (without asking him), to censor everyone talking about what she did. This also means that she was either lying in her first video when she said she wasn't under contract, or she was telling the truth and then signed ''a new contract'', knowingly selling out everyone she knows for some quick cash.

Armored Skeptic took this a step further and '''{{ytlink|X8mEihrhS34|accepted money from Candid's CEO to make an attack video about Harmful Opinions.}}''' The saga eventually concluded when HO was proven to be 100% CORRECT and the site was shut down less than a year later and the bot was (thankfully) sold to Uber and not someone who could actually use it. HO's account was then mysteriously hacked immediately after this, and all videos about the topic wwere deleted. Meanwhile, Shoe and Greg can't even talk about it because they're still under an NDA, and yet still hypocritically complain about internet censorship, when they themselves were more than happy to potentially contribute to it for a few bucks.

And the cherry on top is that "Undoomed", a youtuber that, much like [[Bearing]], Shoe once criticized for being stupid, was the only "Skeptic" who was smart enough to read his contract before signing it and negotiate out of the NDA clause.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg10|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 1.PNG|200px|thumb|center|the concept of hypocrisy is lost on Greg
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 2.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June admits what she did
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 3.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June needs permission to speak but not to systematically censor people
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 4.PNG|200px|thumb|center|what everyone is thinking
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 5.png|200px|thumb|center|more maturity from Greg
Moreshoeonhead 18.png|Shoe admits what she did to HO, but still doesn't tell Greg
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==June Bullies a Mentally Disabled War Vet==
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|thumb|300px|Shoe's panicked DM's to HeHeSilly, begging him do something about the guy exposing her being a psycho]]
Whenever June needs validation, she has her fans bully random people she finds online, like a 50 year old Radfem with 500 subs she stumbled on one day. But sometimes the elderly are not enough for her and she has to go after homeless veterans with PTSD.

Such was the case with [https://www.bitchute.com/channel/lou_plisken/ one paranoid schizophrenic] with a gang-stalking obsession, who made somewhere in the ballpark of 20 videos claiming Shoe was a woman named "Sue" who was a girl that Armored kidnapped as a child and raised to be his slave in an international cat-fishing conspiracy that was planning to murder him. The man was obviously crazy, homeless, living out of his van and eating out of trash cans. But this didn't stop June from making multiple tweets pretending that she actually WAS "Sue" to scare this poor invalid.

She was soon called out by a twitter account that reposts "HeHeSillyComics" strips for being a fucking sociopath. June argued that she did nothing wrong and instead went crying to the person who makes HeHeSillyComics to tell him to shut this guy up. In the end, the guy running the account apologized (perhaps being forced by the comic's creator), and they both deleted all tweets related to this, after which the homeless guy Shoe was bullying, scared for his life, deleted his channel.

But the internet [http://archive.is/rE1e5 never] [http://archive.is/nuncj forgets.]

[[File:Moreshoeonhead 14.png|center|800px]]

==June Animorphs Into an SJW==

It's been a while and GamerGate nerds are no longer giving June enough attention, although if it wasn’t for being buddy-buddy with YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, and larger channels like Sargon of Akkad and Blaire White, Shoe0nHead probably would’ve remained a smaller channel that quickly fade into irrelevance after the GamerGate era ended. Nonetheless: Time to expand! And to do that she needs to change her entire personality again and throw more people under the bus with this simple, 3 part plan:

====Step 1: Break off friendships with incel conservatives and befriend violent leftist====

After years of insisting that their differing political views don't preclude them maintaining a friendship, June did to [[Lauren Southern]] exactly what she did to her black boyfriend Andrew when too many people were threatening to stop giving her attention, and threw her to the dogs in a moronic public statement.

A statement that she retracted hours later when she realized her cost/benefit analysis was off and she was losing more suckups with this move than she was gaining. She also took the time shortly prior to inform people that she no longer finds [[Steve Crowter|Steve Crowder]] funny because his dressing up as women all the time is offensive to her precious trannies or something.

Interestingly, despite her and Lauren now "going in different paths", June's paths seem to be converging with people like Shaun and Jen, a guy who said it's okay to kill right wingers because they aren't human, and ContraPoint who, in his video about "free speech", turned directly to the camera to threaten Dave Rubin in a hilarious attempt to intimidate him into not hosting conservatives on his show anymore.

Sadly for June, Contra at least has enough dignity not to acknowledge she even exists.

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 19.jpg|center|400px]]

<center>'''"I'm nyot fwiends with Steven Cwowdew anymowe uwu!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 24.jpg|center|600px]]

<center>'''"Wauwen Southew is a big poopy head 0W0!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

|}

====Step 2: Become an ill-informed trans crusader====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 15.jpg|thumb|right|300px|June - Two faced as usual]]

But it isn't enough for June to just suck Contra's cock online. No, June has taken to defending "trans right" with the same intellectual vigor she did anti-feminism. Just like with every other topic she comments on, June did zero research and decided that, after years of making fun of [[Transtrender]]s like [[Milo Stewart]] and [[Riley Dennis]], she no longer believes that Transtrenders are a thing and instead thinks that Milo and Riley are legit trannies because they started taking hormones (rather than two impressionable teenagers that are causing their bodies irreparable damage and giving themselves cancer with unnecessary HRT just to fit in with some clique).

Now June blindly defends any position that "supports" transgenders, thinks that calling transgenderism a mental illness is something only bigots do (even though that's literally what it is), and made it her new hobby online to fight with TERFS on twitter. She doesn't actually understand what she's defending or why. All she knows is that her making fun of trannies made them feel bad uwu and that this trumps all scientific facts, an attitude she used to cringily refer to as "feels over realz".

By doing this, June is perpetuating and attitude that is leading countless people who aren't transgender to undergo needless and permanent treatments, actual transgenders to pump their bodies full of cancerous chemicals when they could be cured with therapy, and generally leading more and more transgenders (real or not) to end up committing suicide... In other words: '''SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB AND SHOULD KEEP IT UP!'''

{{approve|using your ignorance and spinelessness to help drive trannies to suicide!}}

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg11|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 25.png|"This mental illness is not a mental illness and anyone who uses facts is a bigot!"
File:Moreshoeonhead 17.jpg|Her transformation is complete! Here she is telling someone [[Dave Chappelle]]'s tranny jokes aren't jokes because they hurt her feeling and because she says so
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

====Step 3: BLOCK EVERYONE====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 16.png|thumb|left|200px|Irony]]
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 21.gif|thumb|right|200px|More irony]]
After years of mocking [[Steve Shives]] for blocking people who make fun of him and people he never talked to because they might make fun of him, as well as taking screencaps of people who block her on twitter for her fans to laugh at, recently June has become so block-happy that people on lolcow.farm turned it into a game to see who can get blocked by her the fastest (just like people used to do with Steve). In the past she used to backpedal and say she only makes fun of Steve because he blocks people before they even tweeted at him (which isn't true), but as of 5/17/2018, the record for fastest shoe block changed from "under one minute" to "under one attosecond", as June has began blocking people who never talked to her because she saw them making fun of when when talking to someone else.

After [[Brittany Venti]] made a video about what a cunt she is (shown above), June took a prolonged "twitter break" that is actually being spent stalking ol' slug-face-brit's twitter and blocking anyone who mentions her video.

Interestingly, there's is a rumor that Pregory propositioned Venti as well.

'''How to get blocked by June:'''

*Tell her she's wrong about something
*Tell her that the Skeptic/Anti Sjw genre on youtube is dead
*say ANYTHING negative about the skeptic community
*Make fun of her wig. Seriously, any mention of her being bald or wearing wigs is an insta-block
*Make any remark towards her that's not covered in uwu and glitter (She'll block you whether malicious or not, she even does this to her fans)
*Bring up her past of bullying
*Bring up current instances of her bullying
*Bring up her black ex boyfriend
*Make a joke at her she doesn't understand (that's how Cognitive Thought got blocked)
*Remind her that [[truth|trans women are not real women]]
*[[Money|Ask why she cared about GamerGate when she hates video games]]
*Be friends with Venti
*Bring up her past of posting her shitty nudes online
*Call out her hypocrisy

Seriously, you don't even need to @ her to get blocked. She searches her name on twitter 24/7. She even searches variants of her name, like "shoe". [[batshit insane|That's right, Shoe0nHead sifts through thousands of posts on twitter under the search "shoe" so she can find people talking shit about her and block them.]] [[HAHAHA OH WOW|She'll even block people for following someone she doesn't like.]]

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 22.png|center|400px]]

<center>'''Shot'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 23.png|center|450px]]

<center>'''Chaser'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|}

==June Vs. Venti==
[[File:Shoe waistline.jpg|thumb|right|300px|is preggory the smol one now?]]

After the Lauren Southern incident, infamous streaming whore [[Brittany Venti]] decided to fuck with Shoe a little to show everyone how fake she is by making a video exposing her. June's immediate response to this was to "take a break" from the internet for two weeks by hiding away in her Discord with her legion of <s>cocksuckers</s> pussy lickers, and occasionally talk shit about Venti, not realizing that trolls are right there with her, screen-capping everything she says.

Meanwhile, Venti did not sit idly by and went on several streams talking more shit about shoe and doing an interview with one of her former friends (the aforementioned "Rob"), who went on her stream to try to defend her, but only ended up admitting that she's fake and that she lied about the age she lost her virginity, unless you count sucking an entire ocean of dicks as being a virgin. This is starting to sound like something written by an untalented fat hack that every pretentious film student, like June, would slob over.
<center><youtube>tpQqH4H_SUQ</youtube></center>

In the meantime, June would pop in and out of her self imposed exile, in her cocoon of sycophants, to block anyone on twitter who makes jokes at her, says anything bad about her, retweets anything Venti says, calls shoe "Shuwu" or "Shoe Shives", talks or follows Venti at all, and even her own fans who are being randomly blocked without understanding why for taking light jabs at her without noticing. When June finally emerged, she wrote a shitty response to the video, lying again, making excuses and ignoring parts she had no answer for.

So Venti made another video.

At the moment Shoe's fans have been able to get Venti's first video taken down from youtube (probably only temporarily) [https://www.bitchute.com/video/mpNB9_GDpuo/ and a copy can be found here.]

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|Venti Town|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>mpNB9_GDpuo</youtube>'''First bideo'''
|<youtube>mWnk4gkMuzw</youtube>'''Second bideo'''
|<youtube>bOehDgPZtwc</youtube>'''Interview with Rob'''
|<youtube>yttKdioMwVU</youtube>'''Deleted Kumite stream'''
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==Someone please call the police to save June's bunny from her==

In spite of her supposed love for bunnies, asking her fans to "send buns" on twitter every time she fucks up and even going so far as to choose an alias that means "Bunny", June's own rabbit is a constant victim of animal abuse.

*June refuses to neuter her bunny, leaving him sexually frustrated and pissing all over her room to the point the smell must be unbearable. She probably can't smell it from all the make-up and glue from her fake hair.
*June’s bunny’s piss at least smells better than June’s icky toejams.
*Feeds him things that bunnies can't properly digest.
*Doesn't own a second bunny to keep it from being lonely, which is considered so cruel that some countries make it illegal.
*Overfeeds it so it looks sickly and morbidly obese.
*Let a cat that is clearly trying to kill it stay in the room all night, staring at her (clearly terrified) bunny in its cage.
*And, worst of all, keeps it in a tiny cage that's meant for hamsters because she's too cheap to buy a bigger one, despite mooching off of her parents.

{{Collapsegallery|Animal Abuse|cg4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoebunny 01.png
File:Shoebunny 02.png
File:Shoebunny 03.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==The Fanbase==

June's fanbase is comprised mostly of sad, lonely men who watch [[Sargon of Akkad]] videos in the morning and think that makes them intellectual, and then jack off to Shoe's videos at night, while pretending that what she says is equally valuable, even though it isn't, even with the laughably low bar that other youtube skeptics have set. As of 2021, she coddles the far right.

Whenever anyone dares insult their precious shouwu, or even do nothing at aside from being mentioned by Shoe on twitter (never by name so she can pretend she isn't talking about anyone in particular, even when everyone knows who her tweet is directed at), Shoe's fans will pounce on that person and be mildly annoying. Because, while their rage at anyone insulting their imaginary internet girlfriend burns with the power of a million suns, the fans themselves are incompetent and can only retaliate by giving videos about her dislikes and leaving mean comments, making them perfect targets to be baited and trolled. The only people Shoe's fans CAN go up against and win are easily triggered teenage feminists, mentally ill army vets, elderly women June find online, and small children. Even though, even when they attacked a young girl for pointing out June abuses her bunny, they weren't able to actually scare her.

==June and Pregory break up==

As of mid 2020 it was announced that June and Pregory are no longer dating. A 5 year relationship down the drain. LOL. Pregory totally dominated Shoe in every way, whether it was in the bedroom and their lifestyle and just in general. Pregory totally won that.

==June's Ideological Snafus==

June's biggest consistency is her inconsistency. She has yet to cogently explain her ideology and what she actually believes, surprising literally no one under the Sun. On one hand, she claims to be a far leftist and recently a Huey Long superfan, but is also extremely soft on right-wingers and tries to cater to those that are still left over from the 2016 anti-SJW days. Her friendship with Lauren Southern is one hallmark example of this. The bitch can't make up her mind LOL. Shoe doesn't seem to take policy seriously, but can you really blame her when humanity and namely, the USA, is pretty much fucked? Might as well mindlessly make memes of it instead of actually using her power as a commentator to make meaningful change. I am not saying no memes, but commentators are supposed to ya know, comment. Instead, she just offers vanilla, surface-level takes that can be debunked in 5 minutes. Sad state of affairs.

==June: A Summary Of Fail==

Despite being the most successful skeptic channel with 1.1 million subscribers, June IRL has still been a total failure. From the fact that she still lives with her parents at 27, her failure as a film student, her lack of a genuine ideology or set of beliefs, her multiple failed attempts at e-fame, various forums that have exposed her, [[Shoe0nhead|this article]], Venti's two videos where she absolutely owns Shoe and the cherry on top of the shit sundae: her co-dependent, loveless relationship where she is the sub and cuck to manchild, [[Armoured Skeptic|Pregory]]; Pregory 4, June 0. June has demonstrated a penchant for failure and being the LOLcow that she claims to laugh at. Despite being a successful YouTuber, she is still a failcow that has no real belief system and is in reality a pandering, people-pleasing, desperate and duplicitous person with abandonment issues who is so desperate to be liked that she is willing to pander to the lowest of the low, neckbeards. June is a pathetic loser because her YouTube content is shit and asinine with her cringy and contrived “cutesy chick” persona. However, June at least gets credit for having been blessed with a cute face. But still: Reality 12, June 0.

==Images==

{{Collapsegallery|Nudes|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead Nudes 1.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 2.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 3.jpg
File:shoe-on-head-nudes-5.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead confirmed.png
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoenudes 07.jpg|Allegedly her ass
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Dressing/Acting Like a Whore|cg21|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead_nudes_4.png
File:Shoenudes 09.jpg
File:Sh0eOnHead Braceface.jpg
File:Shoenudes 01.png
File:Moreshoepics 01.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Moreshoepics 02.jpg|Her sister
File:Moreshoepics 03.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 04.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 05.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 06.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 09.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 10.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 13.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 14.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 15.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 16.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 17.jpg
File:Shoe-and-mirror.jpg|Proof of one of the pics
File:Last shoe.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Whore gifs|cg3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoenudes 02.gif
File:Shoenudes 03.gif
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File:Moreshoepics 07.gif
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File:Moreshoepics 11.gif
File:Moreshoepics 12.gif
File:Juneshoegif.gif
File:Moreshoeonhead 12.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|"Fan" Art|cg2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:ShoeAndSkeptic.jpg
File:MoarLulzyShoe.jpg
File:Shoefanart 01.jpg
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File:Shoefanart 03.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoefanart 04.png
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File:Moreshoepics 18.png
File:Extrashoe 01.png
File:Extrashoe 02.gif
File:Extrashoe 03.png
File:Extrashoe 04.png
File:Extrashoe 05.png
File:Extrashoe 06.png
File:Extrashoe 07.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Miscellaneous|cg7|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 03.png|Poor high school bullying victim Shoe making fun of fat chicks
File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|Shoe is fat
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg|June "I never had any friends or boyfriends" Lapine
File:Moreshoeonhead 09.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 20.png|lol bald
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Evenmoreshoe 05.png|Shoe runs her own fan twitter account (possibly several)
File:Moreshoeonhead 05.jpg
File:Evenmoreshoe 07.jpg|The daughter June's parents aren't ashamed of because she isn't a failure
File:Moreshoeonhead 06.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg
File:ShoeOnHead 2006 Edgy.png|Still as much attention whore as she was {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}} - 2006}} years ago
File:Junetheloon.jpg|thumb|Part 2
File:JuneFat.jpg|thumb|Plushies can only hide your rolls for so long
File:Coworkers.png|Can't imagine why her coworkers didn't like her.
File:Realhair.png|June used to brag about how long her hair was before coming out about it being a wig.
File:Moreshoeonhead 07.jpg
File:Shoeonheadanimeavatarhater.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

<center><big>'''"Fan" Videos'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|clone wars|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>MdKQQa0Kktc</youtube>
|<youtube>HlloqD2bThs</youtube>
|<youtube>gj3mVNnwRkM</youtube>
|<youtube>urpzaeMxVfs</youtube>
|<youtube>rhz3oXK9294</youtube>
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==See Also==

*[[Boxxy]] - for obvious reasons
*[[GamerGate]]
*[[Armored skeptic]] - Cheating slavemaster boyfriend who owns her
*[[Unichan]] - Stalker community she was a part of
*[[CatieWayne.com]] -Another Boxxy stalking site she may have been on
*[[Lolcow.farm]] - Created this site just to spy on people who gossip about her
*[[Brittany Venti]] - Her successor. Completely devastated June, not once but TWICE, and really opened the floodgates of exposure
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - Blocked him on twitter because he said she's cute
*[[Jenny McDermott]] - Braindead retard
*[[LeafyIsHere]] - she looks like him in a wig... or he looks like her without her wig
*[[The Satiratician]] - Only funny thing June has ever done, and even that was by accident
*[[Ian]] - Believed to have been Junes old hacker friend
*[[Einsidler]] - [[Fanboy|Fanperson]]
*[[Attention Whore]]

==External Links ==

* {{yt|c|UC0aanx5rpr7D1M7KCFYzrLQ|Shoe0nHead}}
* {{yt|c|UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q|Personal channel}} - This one has been hastily deleted ([https://web.archive.org/web/20170720150815/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q Archive])
* {{yt|u|shoe0ffhead|Shoe0ffHead}} - Every video was deleted in 2021. ([https://web.archive.org/web/20130902055258/https://www.youtube.com/user/shoe0ffhead First Archive]) ([https://web.archive.org/web/20190501115004/https://www.youtube.com/user/Shoe0ffHead Middle Archive]) ([https://web.archive.org/web/20201124090144/https://www.youtube.com/user/Shoe0ffHead Last Archive])
* {{twitter|shoe0nhead}}
* {{twitter|MisandryQu33n}}
* {{twitter|yo_juneskii|Old twitter}}
* [https://archive.is/2mWZq Her Boxxy wiki article]
* {{archive|S6AGy|Archive of an 8chan thread where she allegedly tried to white knight herself}}
* [https://archive.org/details/youtube-WzwD4T_PV_U Archive of video she deleted]
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=creator%3A%22June+Smith%22 Another archive]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090325064513/https://myspace.com/notthebrightestofthebunch Archive of her old LiveJournal]
* [http://chan.catiewayne.com/m/res/3016.html A thread on another Boxxy stalking site about June]
* {{fb|nikki.lasagnaa|Old facebook}}
* {{fb|oliver.doop.3|Stupid fan page she made for another one}}
* {{fb|ollie.doop|She made at least one more of these}}
* {{myspace|juneskii|Old Myspace}}
* [http://206.223.147.214/shoe0nhead/res/82.html Collection of deleted videos]
* {{dauser|s0upy|Her old DA account}}
* [http://ian-iansblogblogspotcom.blogspot.co.il/2011/08/that-90s-show-is-fail.html Review of her awful "show"]
* {{youtube|9nJa1xfV48w|Shoe blocks other youtuber for making a joke at her}}
* [http://www.formspring.me/juneskii Hastily deleted old forumspring]
* {{instagram|juneskii|Old Instagram}}
* {{Instagram|junelapine|Another old Instagram}}
* {{instagram|shoe0nhead|Current Instagram}}
* {{Soundcloud|s0upy|Her awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|juneskii|Her other awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|shoe0nhead|Her THIRD awful SoundCloud}}
* {{myspace|yo_juneskii|Her MySpace}}
* {{myspace|obeast_man_321|Friend's myspace}}
* {{myspace|junexx|Her sister's MySpace}}
* {{instagram|saruh_michelle|Sister's Instagram}}
* {{fb|sarah.laporta.5|Sister's Facebook}}
* [https://meritpages.com/laporta sister's meritpage]
* [https://ask.fm/shoeqanda Another ask.fm]
* [https://shoe0nhead.blogspot.ca Her shitty blog]

'''June's Endless Collection of Abandoned YT Accounts:'''

'''90's Show Shit''' 
* {{yt|u|90sShowLoca|90sShowLoca}}
* {{yt|u|THAT90sCHANNEL|THAT90sCHANNEL}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowGillz|90sShowGillz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowJames|90sShowJames}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowShortz|90sShowShortz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowSarah|90sShowSarah}}
* {{yt|u|JAFSvideos|JAFSvideos}}
* {{twitter|90sshowloca|Show's twitter}}
* [http://that90sshow.weebly.com/characters.html Show's website]

'''Other'''

* {{yt|u|xjunesVlogx|xjunesVlogx}}
* {{yt|c|UC6PXKhzWTKGuLU7qQJsnoag|hosowa}}
* {{yt|u|galaxxygal|galaxxygal}}
* {{yt|u|kikichanXD|kikichanXD}}
* {{yt|u|NikkiNarcoticxxx|NikkiNarcoticxxx}}
* {{yt|u|BoopyJuneVlogs|BoopyJuneVlogs}}
* {{yt|u|itsjuneskiibroskii|itsjuneskiibroskii}}
* {{yt|u|HalloSoupy|HalloSoupy}}
* {{yt|u|WTFisANupload|WTFisANupload}}
* {{yt|u|LOLBUNNEHS|LOLBUNNEHS}}
* {{yt|c|UCdZec7vEex5N0FGYfDP3eyQ|June la porta}}
* {{yt|c|UCIYE5tSuk49aAXnrZObMVVw|bun0nhead}}
* {{yt|c|UCR-SCdcKWeZOnCddApH1zdg|misandryqu33n}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1pOHjcHlyJsFu7O2hsERsqWUXtDJl9Ca Playlist of old videos]
* There are probably a million more

{{Portals|youtube|whores}}
{{GamerGate}}
{{Sektur}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 14 & 15, [[2017]]|[[Very proud to be an asian]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[HWNDU]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 26 & 27, [[2018]]|[[Armored Skeptic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Totalbiscuit]]}}

[[Category:People]]

Shoe0nHead

2026-06-08T19:24:38Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

{{gotis}}

{{quote|So RationalWiki is a biased website. It is biased and they even acknowledge the fact that they are biased. They are like Encyclopedia fucking Dramatica.|Dropped0nHead|Just for comparing us to RW you deserve [[rape|this article.]]}}

[[File:Shoeonheadnomakeup.png|thumb|What June wants her orbiters to think she looks without makeup. Note the eyebrows, eyeliner, and foundation.]]
[[File:Shoe0nhead bald.jpg|thumb|What she'll look like if she reads this article]]

:''Were you looking for the shitty meme'' '''''"[[Put Shoe On Head]]"''''' ''?'' - ''Why? Is it 2006 again?'' 
:''Were you looking for'' '''''[[K-hate|our own ShoeOnHead]]''''' ''?'' - ''Again, why?'' 

'''Shoe0nHead''' (AKA '''[[Powerword|June Nicole La Porta]]''' or '''Lapine''' because it's [[French]] for bunny and she's so soft and cute uwu) is a {{age|1991|6|22}} year old failed film student, and S&M submissive fetishist that still lives with her parents, after having dropped out and given up on filmmaking due to having zero talent, and is now unemployed and getting by on handouts from fellow losers on [[youtube]]. She is basically the Wile E. Coyote of the skeptic community.

Prior to this, she spent nearly 8 years desperately trying to become internet famous by whoring for the attention of horny virgins online and posting nudes on [[4chan]], before stumbling onto a community of [[boxxy]] stalkers whose userbase worshipped at her feet, while she acted as their cum-rag by being a full-time boxxy's lookalike, until they stole her nudes and she left.

She then had another one of her orbiters create [[lolcow.farm]] as a honeypot to obsessively stalk people who gossiped about her for over a year, then changed her entire personality again and disappeared for a year, reemerging during [[GamerGate]] to finally find "success" in the form of an audience of fedora-wearing MRAs that cream their pants at the idea of a cute-ish girl (they don't know she's bald) who hates feminism, even if she hasn't made a single intelligent argument in any of her videos (even by YT [[skeptic]]'s standards).

Today June continues to waste her life, making 1 video every 2 months in the lowest possible quality, as she laughs at how pathetic her fanbase is, sells them out to a company that used them as practice targets for a self-teaching censorship bot, harasses mentally disabled people on twitter, blocks anyone who disagrees with her and plans to marry a {{age|1984|8|11}} year old, morbidly obese, manchild divorcee and youtuber, who cheated on his wife with her (and like 10 other girls), and who she cheated on her boyfriend with, who now openly cheats on her as well, as her fans continue to jerk off while thinking about her and then pay her to cuck them with some other guy, that then cucks her in return.

__TOC__

[[File:Lastshoe.png|1000px|center]]

==June on Unichan - Obsessive Boxxy Stalker==

Before being known as "Shoe0nHead", June was a known internet thot who would spam 4chan with her nudes. This until she discovered "[[Unichan]]", a community of psychotic [[Boxxy]] stalkers who were infamous for hacking Boxxy's computer, driving Boxxy into hiding and [[doxing]] her again to then show up at the house she was hiding from them in like a bunch of serial killers.

There June finally found "fame" due to her resemblance to Boxxy, and began acting as her clone for the sad nerds on the forum to jerk off to. This continued for some time until she made the mistake of agreeing to hang out [[IRL]] with the multiple men she had been leading on for years while already dating one of them behind their back. [[Almost Raped|You would expect this to end with her getting raped, but no such luck.]] Instead, one of the fat fucks she rejected, spurred by his dream of fucking someone who looks like boxxy being shattered, stole her phone when she was in the shower and took pictures of her screen while viewing her photo gallery full of nudes.

After June and her psychopaths returned home, her nudes were dropped on Unichan, alongside the fact she was as slut who is already fucking one of them, and the entire board of heartbroken autistics began openly gossiping and making fun of her, forcing her to leave.

[[File:Evenmoreshoe 06.png|center|800px]]

====June Creates [[lolcow.farm]] to Spy on Her Stalkers====
[[File:History of june.png|thumb|250px|June confirmed this true without realizing people can [[screencap]] on [[Discord]]]]
Outraged, June had another one of her beta orbiters, a hacker from the site who was famous for hacking Boxxy's computer and was clearly in love with Wig0nHead, create an infamous /[[cow/]] knockoff, called "lolcow.farm", just as some of the many Boxxy stalker sites she was involved in were having trouble staying online. She then got its userbases to migrate to her new board so that she and the poor sap who she got to do this for her could spent the next '''FUCKING YEAR AND SOME CHANGE''' watching every thread about her like a hawk, trying to smoke out who was talking about her by looking at their IP addresses.

In the end, June gave up and her "friend", who she no longer had a reason to pretend to like, gave the site to someone else and moved on with his life. 
Ironically, lolcow.farm still exists to this day and continues to be the #1 place online to go laugh at how pathetic its own creator really is.

{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Moreshoeonhead 02.jpg|800|400|}}|border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}}
<center>'''"Love letters" exchanged between June and the sad loser she duped into wasting a year of his life stalking internet strangers for her'''</center>

{{clear}}

====Additional Gossip from lolcow====

Another story that illustrates how duplicitous and attention hungry Dropped0nHead is, is a rumor about her one-sided relationship with some [https://twitter.com/robkaufmanlive guy named "Rob"], who was a local celebrity that June briefly developed a crush on. So what did she do? Change her entire personality from "KRAZY AND RANDOM XD CLONE OF BOXXXXY June" to "Mega Edgelord June - The Nigger Hater" to impress him, and then lured the lovesick sadsacks from Unichan onto his local access show so he can abuse and laugh at her "friends" with her on live air.

[[File:Lastshoe2.png|1100px|center]]

====June Leave her Black Boyfriend to Stay Popular with Internet Nazis====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 01.gif|thumb|right|220px|June will suck the dick of literally anyone as long as he's tall enough.]]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKCW59ZXJj8 As mentioned, June was able to find herself a boyfriend on Unichan, named "Andrew".] There were only 2 problems:

#He wasn't an e-fame hungry failure like she was.
#He was black.

Having at long last gained the attention she so desperately craved from [[GamerGate]] [[nazi]]s, and combined with the fact that her boyfriend had an apartment, job, was going to school and was trying to get her to grow up and move out of her mom and dad's house instead of staying at home all day and trying get popular online, June dumped her boyfriend so that she'd stop getting flack from /pol/tards about him being black, and in the future would describe their relationship as "Abusive" (ie: him trying to make her act like an adult) as "abusive". Which makes sense, because that's the same way she described her current boyfirend's relationship with his ex wife (who he cheated on with her while she was still dating the nigger) because she wouldn't let him play with toys.

{{Collapsegallery|Shoe the Racist|cg8|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Evenmoreshoe 01.png|June thinks [[fact|black people are stupid.]]
File:Evenmoreshoe 02.png|June would never say "Nigger"! (aside from the many times she did)
File:Evenmoreshoe 04.png|The only people who catcall are "[[niggers|Ghetto Trash]]"
File:Evenmoreshoe 08.jpg|June drawing swastikas on the beach
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoe0nheadisamudshark.png|center|700px]]

June is still butthurt about this and will {{hover|block|black}} anyone who brings it up.

==June - The fakest bitch alive==

One thing that June's fans don't know about her is: Everything. 
June is the fakest person you will ever encounter, lying about every single thing about herself and completely changing her entire personality at the drop of a hat to please whoever it is that is showering her with [[attention]] at the moment. Right now June is playing the shy, insecure, nerdy [[gamer girl]] who hates feminism to her audience to keep them paying her, while pretending to be a bisexual DDLG fetishist for her boyfriend, so that she can justify to herself letting him treat her like shit and allowing him to fuck other chicks in "threesomes" that she only participates in for his enjoyment because she's too scared he will leave her like he did his wife who wouldn't let him cheat.

<big>'''Things Shoe0nHead has Lied About'''</big>
[[File:Evenmoreshoe 03.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Old friend from Unichan reminisces about have fake and crazy June was]]

'''Personal Life:''' In the past, June has claimed to have been a [[goth]], shy, friendless nerd in high school that got bullied. However, in old videos she forgot to delete she happily admits to being a bully herself. Pictures of her prove she was never a goth and other videos show that both her claim that she had no friends or only guy friend are lies as well.

'''Appearance:''' Shoe constantly lies about her height, weight, measurements and wears a wig and 7 tons of makeup to hide the fact she's bald and has the skin of a leper. There's even a theory about her having had a boob job and her photoshopping pictures of herself to make her hips wider/slimmer depending on how fat/malnourished she is at the moment.

'''Internet History:''' Shoe will sometimes pretend she never even went to 4chan in her life, but people who know her from way back know she was a camwhore on [[b|/b/]] and went through a /pol/ phase when she was trying to impress some guy, then had her friend create lolcow.farm and allegedly still lurks [[8chan]] and gets caught white knighting herself there from time to time.

'''Romantic Life:''' June has claimed to have had 0 boyfriends, only 1 boyfriend, only 2 boyfriends, multiple boyfriends, being a kissless virgin until the age of 21, 15 and 13 and having had multiple sexual relationship. All depending on what crowd she's pandering to now.

'''Political Views:''' Liberal, libertarian, left libertarian, unaffiliated, June can be anything! Right now she's quickly disavowing her former right wing "friends" and parroting progressive talking points because she's trying to cozy up to [[SJW]]s.

'''Sexuality:''' June has stated she's completely straight, bisexual, "demi-sexual" and....... 30% gay. Right now she's pretending to be bi and reluctantly taking part in threesomes with her husband because its moderately better than just letting him cheat outright, which he will if she doesn't do it, just like he did with his ex wife. She also makes fun of fat people a lot, but fails to bring up the fact she used to be pretty chunky and pretends she thinks Armored Skeptic's morbid obesity is hot.

Even her voice changes depending on who she's talking to and her fucking name is fake.

==June's First Sad Attempt at E-Fame - "That 90's Show"==

After (or before?) being ousted from the Boxxy stalking community, ShoeGivesHead needed a new way to complete her glorious attention quest. Her plan? Create an unfunny "That 70's Show" ripoff inspired by [[Fred]] called "That 90's Show", that was somehow so cringy it made Fred look like Sammy Davis Jr. by comparison (also, the plot begins in 1998, which makes no sense).

Despite only filming 2 episodes and 8 "minisodes", June's [[unwarranted self importance]] was so massive, and her belief that this can somehow be used to propel her into stardom so misguided, that she took a page out of the [[Randy Stair]] playbook and forced her friends to each create their own YT account where they must post ''in character'' at all times (June's character was, of corse, "Loca", the KARAZY WACKY ONE! XDDDD), as well as multiple twitter accounts, ''two'' websites where people can add their own fan characters, and '''a fucking wiki about the show'''. All of this despite the fact they haven't actually produced anything yet and their "show" had no fans.

The show itself was a fucking atrocity. A poorly acted, poorly written, amateurishly filmed shitshow that felt like an asinine cross between "That 70's Show" and "Friends" that was created by a bunch of people who only know what humor even is because they read the word's definition in a dictionary. And since, aside from June, no one actually cared about this, they quickly devolved into posting blooper reels on their channel that no one cared about, uploading their cringy rants about religion, and making promises of future episodes that (thankfully) never came.

All that is now left of this abortion is listed at the bottom of this article. A dozen dead YT accounts, some abandoned sites and twitter accounts, and one review by an obscure blog, which was the only time anyone ever cared about this tire fire, and even then, just to laugh at it.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AU0zFvgNmpw</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==#GamerGate and Current Content==

[[Image:WhatShoeWants.png|thumb|What Shoe0nHead really wants]]

But after giving up on this for a year or two, finally, June's day had come. After years of trying to become e-famous, GamerGate became Shoe's big break. It was perfect, all she needed to do is hide her bald head and regurgitate lame anti-feminist talking points that she heard in other videos but didn't actually understand. And thanks to [[Thunderf00t]] stumbling across her video by mistake and liking it, this earned her the fame she always wanted from an audience of fedora wearing pedophiles who liked her because she looked 16 and said bunch of things they already agreed with. An anti-feminist girl who looks underaged but isn't and who doesn't look like Karen Straughan? She was perfect!

So what if she didn't do any research, never cited her sources, never read her sources and didn't pretend to be an intellectual? Sure, those are things that every other youtube skeptic™ criticizes SJW's for, but Shoe doesn't have to do that because she's a girl and everyone in GamerGate knows that girls are stupid and should be held to a lower standard (but don't call them misogynists!).

So despite her using her laptop mic and a 2$ webcam while others build entire studios. Despite making 4 videos a year while other YT Skeptics upload 3 times a week just to stay relevant. Despite all her videos being the same. Despite knowing and caring so little about the topic she can't even answer basic questions about it. Despite clearly having no respect for her audience. Despite '''not even playing video games'''. Despite her videos having awful editing, horrible lighting, horrendous audio spikes, are in 480p, and every other thing that makes it seems it is the first video on YouTube in 2009. Despite ALL of this, Shoe currently has '''the biggest and most successful YT skeptic channel''' just by virtue of being a girl. Which really show how worthy the entire community and audience is of being taken seriously.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>V58epBZisoE</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>AU0zFvgNmpw

====How to Make a Shoe Video====

#cover bald spot
#read buzzfeed article
#Stop every 2 minutes to say:
*"Kill me"
*"End my life"
*"What even is this?"

Upload as is and you're done.

Hilariously, despite the fact she puts in 0 effort, she has the nerve to talk shit about other youtuber in her circle like [[Bearing]], saying they're bullies who make lazy content and go after low hanging fruit. This after she herself has regularly had her followers bully fat chicks, elderly people, teenagers, crazy trannies (except her crazy tranny friends, of course), and one mentally disabled guy.

==Armored Skeptic - June's (<s>married</s> now divorced) boyfriend==

'''[[Armored Skeptic]]''' is June's cheating, morbidly obese fiance with an extra chromosome (this is not a joke). He met her online during GamerGate while he was hitting on every single woman he interacted with to add to the harem of women he was cheating on his wife with. Their dynamic solidified when they were in a Google hangout with [[Sargon of Akkad]],and flirted with each other in a cringy manner for 2 fucking hours making poor 'ole Sargon a would-be 3rd wheel. Shoe, who herself had a boyfriend at the time, was receptive to this and joined his brothel of potential sluts that included [[Jenny McDermott]], who he would also flirt with, several women he was fucking behind his wife's back and one woman who was dying of brain cancer and Greg was able to fuck thanks to her diminishing mental faculties and was then forced to continue to pretend to care about until she dies so that he wouldn't look bad for breaking up with a woman dying of cancer.

Growing more and more tired of Gregory's constantly sleeping around, his wife briefly used his accounts to contact his whores and tell them to to stop talking to her husband, but then she just divorced him. Later screenshots of June's Discord would be leaked where she describes Greg's wife as abusive '''because she would hide his toys and get mad at him for wasting all their money on Star Wars merchandise like a fucking child.'''

Gregory came out as the grand winner of this ordeal, and June came out the loser because now he has a mentally broken sex slave that lets him cheat on her and whose popularity he can use to continue to believe he can turn his youtube channel into a media empire one day, even though the only reason anyone subscribes to him is because they masturbate to pictures of his girlfriend. Pregory 1, June 0.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>6E2RVSMZ4dg</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

====June the Cuck====

With both of them broken up, they were free to initiate a pathetic, co-dependent relationship. Shoe now lives as Greg's long distance slave (because even though they have the money he refuses to let her live with him or she might catch him cheating). They are in a "24/7 BDSM relationship" that June constantly brags about online to convince herself that him cheating and mistreating her is just part of their "kink" and exposes June for the desperate loser doormat that she is. To further cope with the fact that her future husband openly flirts with camgirls on Twitter, June convinced herself that she's actually bisexual so that she could at least join in when Greg fucks other girls and pretend it's a threesome and not just cheating. This is another big win for Greg because he can use his bitch's serious abandonment issues to get her to have threesomes with him and random chicks he stalks online. Pregory 2, June 0.

{{Collapsegallery|The "June Gets Cucked" Collection|cg6|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cuckjune 02.jpg|June and Grug are "Poly"
File:Cuckjune 03.png|June "would have shared" her boyfriend (as if he's asking... but there's enough of his fat ass to go around)
File:Cuckjune 04.jpg|Greg flirting with whores on twitter
File:Cuckjune 05.png|Believed to be talking about Greg
File:Cuckjune 06.jpg|Greg flirting with twitter thots again
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Cuckjune 08.png|June learns what a "Cuck" is
File:Cuckjune 07.png|June realizes she's being cucked
File:Cuckjune 09.png|Canadian BDSM dating profile that seems to be Greg's
File:Cuckjune 10.jpg|Collage of camwhore accounts June's boyfriend followed on twitter and regularly tries to fuck
File:Cuckjune 11.png|Account by a woman claiming she had a threesome with them
File:Moreshoeonhead 11.png|Greg told chick he was single when he was married and let some of them believe they're in a relationship with him
File:Moreshoeonhead 13.png|Despite always cheating, Greg lost his shit when he thought June was trying to fuck Jeff Holiday
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

The hypocrisy of all of this is, of course, stunning, because, while Greg forces her to let him cheat or sleep with women for his enjoyment, he refuses to be part of a 2 man threesome for her and lost his fucking mind when he thought Jeff Holiday was trying to fuck her after he was friendly to her for half a minute at a fucking charity event, sending multiple people to DM him, demanding he not talk to his girlfriend, which Holiday publicly laughed at. All of this solidifies and reinforces the fact that Pregory ain't shit either, but more importantly that June is a deeply, deeply insecure person with extremely low self esteem. The fact that she is willing to put up with Greg's adultery by being his [[cuck]] and submitting to his every whim in order to satisfy him and thus not be abandoned by him shows just how pathetic and weak June really is.

====June and Greg - would-be pedophiles====

But the creepiest shit about their "relationship" is how fucking close it is to pedophilia. The fact that their sex lives revolve around a fetish where June pretends to be a little girl and calls Greg "Daddy" is bad enough, but add to that the fact that June acts like a child, talks like a child, dresses like a child, thinks like a child and looks so much like a child that Greg had to go out of his way to explain to people that she's actually an adult. Although, she's still so immature that he actually had to ask her parents for permission to fuck her. And this is clearly not all a coincidence, since June herself has said that Greg would leave her if her childlike measurements ever change. None of this is helped by June defending pedophiles online and Greg liking cartoon loli porn on twitter. It must be truly agonizing for June to have such mind-bogglingly low self-esteem where she stays with a man that does not love and respect her truly, and obeys said man to the umpteenth degree.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Pedo June 01.jpg|Greg thing [[loli]] costumes are hot
File:Pedo June 02.png|June thinks it's okay for men (Gregory) to want to fuck underaged girls
File:Cuckjune 01.png|Pregory likes [[Shadman]]'s cartoon [[CP]] on twitter
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoeonheadpedosidekink.jpg|center|370px]]

However, this isn't completely one-sided, since Greg's underdeveloped mind make him an overgrown baby himself, which is why, despite having already bankrupt himself once, his house is still filled to the brim with the same [[Star Wars]] toys his ex wife had to hide from him and divorce him because he wouldn't stop buying them. What a very sad [[Brett Keane|individual]].

But please don't imply that Greg is a pedo or else he might threaten to sue you like he did Jenny McDormatt.

==Candid - June and Greg Sell out Entire Skeptic Community for a few Shekels==

{{:BeCandid/nav}}

The [[Candid]] app was a scam website that signed paid promotion deals with youtube anti feminists, where it promoted itself as a "free speech" website, as part of a ploy to use their audience to train its automated censorship bot to be better at banning people who criticize feminism and things it just didn't like. And while many people fell for it, Shoe and Greg were the only ones who openly shilled for this website, even after they learned what the site was doing.

The full story is that this company, that already had a history of running scams and was openly run by SJWs, approached a number of "Skeptic" youtubers, who were so good at being skeptical that they signed the contract without looking into who they were entering into a binding, contractual relationship with, or even actually reading what they were signing to see that it included a 3 year NDA. The only person to realize what was going on was [[Harmful Opinions]], who exposed what they were doing. In response, Candid's own CEO doxed HO's mom and threatened her, as well as Mark Kern, who was talking online about its security vulnerabilities, both of whom were friends of Shoe and Greg up until that point.

In response, Shoe made a second video, claiming she wasn't under contract, and then '''deleted that video''' and made a second video '''promoting this website again''' even though, at this point, '''she already knew the company doxed two of her friends and was a scam to censor everyone in her friend circle.''' She then TOOK OVER GREG'S ACCOUNT and put word filters on it (without asking him), to censor everyone talking about what she did. This also means that she was either lying in her first video when she said she wasn't under contract, or she was telling the truth and then signed ''a new contract'', knowingly selling out everyone she knows for some quick cash.

Armored Skeptic took this a step further and '''{{ytlink|X8mEihrhS34|accepted money from Candid's CEO to make an attack video about Harmful Opinions.}}''' The saga eventually concluded when HO was proven to be 100% CORRECT and the site was shut down less than a year later and the bot was (thankfully) sold to Uber and not someone who could actually use it. HO's account was then mysteriously hacked immediately after this, and all videos about the topic wwere deleted. Meanwhile, Shoe and Greg can't even talk about it because they're still under an NDA, and yet still hypocritically complain about internet censorship, when they themselves were more than happy to potentially contribute to it for a few bucks.

And the cherry on top is that "Undoomed", a youtuber that, much like [[Bearing]], Shoe once criticized for being stupid, was the only "Skeptic" who was smart enough to read his contract before signing it and negotiate out of the NDA clause.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg10|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 1.PNG|200px|thumb|center|the concept of hypocrisy is lost on Greg
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 2.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June admits what she did
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 3.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June needs permission to speak but not to systematically censor people
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 4.PNG|200px|thumb|center|what everyone is thinking
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 5.png|200px|thumb|center|more maturity from Greg
Moreshoeonhead 18.png|Shoe admits what she did to HO, but still doesn't tell Greg
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==June Bullies a Mentally Disabled War Vet==
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|thumb|300px|Shoe's panicked DM's to HeHeSilly, begging him do something about the guy exposing her being a psycho]]
Whenever June needs validation, she has her fans bully random people she finds online, like a 50 year old Radfem with 500 subs she stumbled on one day. But sometimes the elderly are not enough for her and she has to go after homeless veterans with PTSD.

Such was the case with [https://www.bitchute.com/channel/lou_plisken/ one paranoid schizophrenic] with a gang-stalking obsession, who made somewhere in the ballpark of 20 videos claiming Shoe was a woman named "Sue" who was a girl that Armored kidnapped as a child and raised to be his slave in an international cat-fishing conspiracy that was planning to murder him. The man was obviously crazy, homeless, living out of his van and eating out of trash cans. But this didn't stop June from making multiple tweets pretending that she actually WAS "Sue" to scare this poor invalid.

She was soon called out by a twitter account that reposts "HeHeSillyComics" strips for being a fucking sociopath. June argued that she did nothing wrong and instead went crying to the person who makes HeHeSillyComics to tell him to shut this guy up. In the end, the guy running the account apologized (perhaps being forced by the comic's creator), and they both deleted all tweets related to this, after which the homeless guy Shoe was bullying, scared for his life, deleted his channel.

But the internet [http://archive.is/rE1e5 never] [http://archive.is/nuncj forgets.]

[[File:Moreshoeonhead 14.png|center|800px]]

==June Animorphs Into an SJW==

It's been a while and GamerGate nerds are no longer giving June enough attention, although if it wasn’t for being buddy-buddy with YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, and larger channels like Sargon of Akkad and Blaire White, Shoe0nHead probably would’ve remained a smaller channel that quickly fade into irrelevance after the GamerGate era ended. Nonetheless: Time to expand! And to do that she needs to change her entire personality again and throw more people under the bus with this simple, 3 part plan:

====Step 1: Break off friendships with incel conservatives and befriend violent leftist====

After years of insisting that their differing political views don't preclude them maintaining a friendship, June did to [[Lauren Southern]] exactly what she did to her black boyfriend Andrew when too many people were threatening to stop giving her attention, and threw her to the dogs in a moronic public statement.

A statement that she retracted hours later when she realized her cost/benefit analysis was off and she was losing more suckups with this move than she was gaining. She also took the time shortly prior to inform people that she no longer finds [[Steve Crowter|Steve Crowder]] funny because his dressing up as women all the time is offensive to her precious trannies or something.

Interestingly, despite her and Lauren now "going in different paths", June's paths seem to be converging with people like Shaun and Jen, a guy who said it's okay to kill right wingers because they aren't human, and ContraPoint who, in his video about "free speech", turned directly to the camera to threaten Dave Rubin in a hilarious attempt to intimidate him into not hosting conservatives on his show anymore.

Sadly for June, Contra at least has enough dignity not to acknowledge she even exists.

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 19.jpg|center|400px]]

<center>'''"I'm nyot fwiends with Steven Cwowdew anymowe uwu!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 24.jpg|center|600px]]

<center>'''"Wauwen Southew is a big poopy head 0W0!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

|}

====Step 2: Become an ill-informed trans crusader====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 15.jpg|thumb|right|300px|June - Two faced as usual]]

But it isn't enough for June to just suck Contra's cock online. No, June has taken to defending "trans right" with the same intellectual vigor she did anti-feminism. Just like with every other topic she comments on, June did zero research and decided that, after years of making fun of [[Transtrender]]s like [[Milo Stewart]] and [[Riley Dennis]], she no longer believes that Transtrenders are a thing and instead thinks that Milo and Riley are legit trannies because they started taking hormones (rather than two impressionable teenagers that are causing their bodies irreparable damage and giving themselves cancer with unnecessary HRT just to fit in with some clique).

Now June blindly defends any position that "supports" transgenders, thinks that calling transgenderism a mental illness is something only bigots do (even though that's literally what it is), and made it her new hobby online to fight with TERFS on twitter. She doesn't actually understand what she's defending or why. All she knows is that her making fun of trannies made them feel bad uwu and that this trumps all scientific facts, an attitude she used to cringily refer to as "feels over realz".

By doing this, June is perpetuating and attitude that is leading countless people who aren't transgender to undergo needless and permanent treatments, actual transgenders to pump their bodies full of cancerous chemicals when they could be cured with therapy, and generally leading more and more transgenders (real or not) to end up committing suicide... In other words: '''SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB AND SHOULD KEEP IT UP!'''

{{approve|using your ignorance and spinelessness to help drive trannies to suicide!}}

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg11|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 25.png|"This mental illness is not a mental illness and anyone who uses facts is a bigot!"
File:Moreshoeonhead 17.jpg|Her transformation is complete! Here she is telling someone [[Dave Chappelle]]'s tranny jokes aren't jokes because they hurt her feeling and because she says so
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

====Step 3: BLOCK EVERYONE====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 16.png|thumb|left|200px|Irony]]
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 21.gif|thumb|right|200px|More irony]]
After years of mocking [[Steve Shives]] for blocking people who make fun of him and people he never talked to because they might make fun of him, as well as taking screencaps of people who block her on twitter for her fans to laugh at, recently June has become so block-happy that people on lolcow.farm turned it into a game to see who can get blocked by her the fastest (just like people used to do with Steve). In the past she used to backpedal and say she only makes fun of Steve because he blocks people before they even tweeted at him (which isn't true), but as of 5/17/2018, the record for fastest shoe block changed from "under one minute" to "under one attosecond", as June has began blocking people who never talked to her because she saw them making fun of when when talking to someone else.

After [[Brittany Venti]] made a video about what a cunt she is (shown above), June took a prolonged "twitter break" that is actually being spent stalking ol' slug-face-brit's twitter and blocking anyone who mentions her video.

Interestingly, there's is a rumor that Pregory propositioned Venti as well.

'''How to get blocked by June:'''

*Tell her she's wrong about something
*Tell her that the Skeptic/Anti Sjw genre on youtube is dead
*say ANYTHING negative about the skeptic community
*Make fun of her wig. Seriously, any mention of her being bald or wearing wigs is an insta-block
*Make any remark towards her that's not covered in uwu and glitter (She'll block you whether malicious or not, she even does this to her fans)
*Bring up her past of bullying
*Bring up current instances of her bullying
*Bring up her black ex boyfriend
*Make a joke at her she doesn't understand (that's how Cognitive Thought got blocked)
*Remind her that [[truth|trans women are not real women]]
*[[Money|Ask why she cared about GamerGate when she hates video games]]
*Be friends with Venti
*Bring up her past of posting her shitty nudes online
*Call out her hypocrisy

Seriously, you don't even need to @ her to get blocked. She searches her name on twitter 24/7. She even searches variants of her name, like "shoe". [[batshit insane|That's right, Shoe0nHead sifts through thousands of posts on twitter under the search "shoe" so she can find people talking shit about her and block them.]] [[HAHAHA OH WOW|She'll even block people for following someone she doesn't like.]]

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 22.png|center|400px]]

<center>'''Shot'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 23.png|center|450px]]

<center>'''Chaser'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|}

==June Vs. Venti==
[[File:Shoe waistline.jpg|thumb|right|300px|is preggory the smol one now?]]

After the Lauren Southern incident, infamous streaming whore [[Brittany Venti]] decided to fuck with Shoe a little to show everyone how fake she is by making a video exposing her. June's immediate response to this was to "take a break" from the internet for two weeks by hiding away in her Discord with her legion of <s>cocksuckers</s> pussy lickers, and occasionally talk shit about Venti, not realizing that trolls are right there with her, screen-capping everything she says.

Meanwhile, Venti did not sit idly by and went on several streams talking more shit about shoe and doing an interview with one of her former friends (the aforementioned "Rob"), who went on her stream to try to defend her, but only ended up admitting that she's fake and that she lied about the age she lost her virginity, unless you count sucking an entire ocean of dicks as being a virgin. This is starting to sound like something written by an untalented fat hack that every pretentious film student, like June, would slob over.
<center><youtube>tpQqH4H_SUQ</youtube></center>

In the meantime, June would pop in and out of her self imposed exile, in her cocoon of sycophants, to block anyone on twitter who makes jokes at her, says anything bad about her, retweets anything Venti says, calls shoe "Shuwu" or "Shoe Shives", talks or follows Venti at all, and even her own fans who are being randomly blocked without understanding why for taking light jabs at her without noticing. When June finally emerged, she wrote a shitty response to the video, lying again, making excuses and ignoring parts she had no answer for.

So Venti made another video.

At the moment Shoe's fans have been able to get Venti's first video taken down from youtube (probably only temporarily) [https://www.bitchute.com/video/mpNB9_GDpuo/ and a copy can be found here.]

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|Venti Town|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>mpNB9_GDpuo</youtube>'''First bideo'''
|<youtube>mWnk4gkMuzw</youtube>'''Second bideo'''
|<youtube>bOehDgPZtwc</youtube>'''Interview with Rob'''
|<youtube>yttKdioMwVU</youtube>'''Deleted Kumite stream'''
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==Someone please call the police to save June's bunny from her==

In spite of her supposed love for bunnies, asking her fans to "send buns" on twitter every time she fucks up and even going so far as to choose an alias that means "Bunny", June's own rabbit is a constant victim of animal abuse.

*June refuses to neuter her bunny, leaving him sexually frustrated and pissing all over her room to the point the smell must be unbearable. She probably can't smell it from all the make-up and glue from her fake hair.
*June’s bunny’s piss at least smells better than June’s icky toejams.
*Feeds him things that bunnies can't properly digest.
*Doesn't own a second bunny to keep it from being lonely, which is considered so cruel that some countries make it illegal.
*Overfeeds it so it looks sickly and morbidly obese.
*Let a cat that is clearly trying to kill it stay in the room all night, staring at her (clearly terrified) bunny in its cage.
*And, worst of all, keeps it in a tiny cage that's meant for hamsters because she's too cheap to buy a bigger one, despite mooching off of her parents.

{{Collapsegallery|Animal Abuse|cg4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoebunny 01.png
File:Shoebunny 02.png
File:Shoebunny 03.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==The Fanbase==

June's fanbase is comprised mostly of sad, lonely men who watch [[Sargon of Akkad]] videos in the morning and think that makes them intellectual, and then jack off to Shoe's videos at night, while pretending that what she says is equally valuable, even though it isn't, even with the laughably low bar that other youtube skeptics have set. As of 2021, she coddles the far right.

Whenever anyone dares insult their precious shouwu, or even do nothing at aside from being mentioned by Shoe on twitter (never by name so she can pretend she isn't talking about anyone in particular, even when everyone knows who her tweet is directed at), Shoe's fans will pounce on that person and be mildly annoying. Because, while their rage at anyone insulting their imaginary internet girlfriend burns with the power of a million suns, the fans themselves are incompetent and can only retaliate by giving videos about her dislikes and leaving mean comments, making them perfect targets to be baited and trolled. The only people Shoe's fans CAN go up against and win are easily triggered teenage feminists, mentally ill army vets, elderly women June find online, and small children. Even though, even when they attacked a young girl for pointing out June abuses her bunny, they weren't able to actually scare her.

==June and Pregory break up==

As of mid 2020 it was announced that June and Pregory are no longer dating. A 5 year relationship down the drain. LOL. Pregory totally dominated Shoe in every way, whether it was in the bedroom and their lifestyle and just in general. Pregory totally won that.

==June's Ideological Snafus==

June's biggest consistency is her inconsistency. She has yet to cogently explain her ideology and what she actually believes, surprising literally no one under the Sun. On one hand, she claims to be a far leftist and recently a Huey Long superfan, but is also extremely soft on right-wingers and tries to cater to those that are still left over from the 2016 anti-SJW days. Her friendship with Lauren Southern is one hallmark example of this. The bitch can't make up her mind LOL. Shoe doesn't seem to take policy seriously, but can you really blame her when humanity and namely, the USA, is pretty much fucked? Might as well mindlessly make memes of it instead of actually using her power as a commentator to make meaningful change. I am not saying no memes, but commentators are supposed to ya know, comment. Instead, she just offers vanilla, surface-level takes that can be debunked in 5 minutes. Sad state of affairs.

==June: A Summary Of Fail==

Despite being the most successful skeptic channel with 1.1 million subscribers, June IRL has still been a total failure. From the fact that she still lives with her parents at 27, her failure as a film student, her lack of a genuine ideology or set of beliefs, her multiple failed attempts at e-fame, various forums that have exposed her, [[Shoe0nhead|this article]], Venti's two videos where she absolutely owns Shoe and the cherry on top of the shit sundae: her co-dependent, loveless relationship where she is the sub and cuck to manchild, [[Armoured Skeptic|Pregory]]; Pregory 4, June 0. June has demonstrated a penchant for failure and being the LOLcow that she claims to laugh at. Despite being a successful YouTuber, she is still a failcow that has no real belief system and is in reality a pandering, people-pleasing, desperate and duplicitous person with abandonment issues who is so desperate to be liked that she is willing to pander to the lowest of the low, neckbeards. June is a pathetic loser because her YouTube content is shit and asinine with her cringy and contrived “cutesy chick” persona. However, June at least gets credit for having been blessed with a cute face. But still: Reality 12, June 0.

==Images==

{{Collapsegallery|Nudes|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead Nudes 1.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 2.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 3.jpg
File:shoe-on-head-nudes-5.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead confirmed.png
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoenudes 07.jpg|Allegedly her ass
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Dressing/Acting Like a Whore|cg21|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead_nudes_4.png
File:Shoenudes 09.jpg
File:Sh0eOnHead Braceface.jpg
File:Shoenudes 01.png
File:Moreshoepics 01.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Moreshoepics 02.jpg|Her sister
File:Moreshoepics 03.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 04.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 05.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 06.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 09.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 10.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 13.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 14.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 15.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 16.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 17.jpg
File:Shoe-and-mirror.jpg|Proof of one of the pics
File:Last shoe.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Whore gifs|cg3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoenudes 02.gif
File:Shoenudes 03.gif
File:Shoenudes 04.gif
File:Shoenudes 05.gif
File:Shoenudes 06.gif
File:Moreshoepics 07.gif
File:Moreshoepics 08.gif
File:Moreshoepics 11.gif
File:Moreshoepics 12.gif
File:Juneshoegif.gif
File:Moreshoeonhead 12.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|"Fan" Art|cg2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:ShoeAndSkeptic.jpg
File:MoarLulzyShoe.jpg
File:Shoefanart 01.jpg
File:Shoefanart 02.png
File:Shoefanart 03.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoefanart 04.png
File:Shoefanart 05.jpg
File:Shoefanart 06.jpg
File:Shoefanart 07.jpg
File:Shoefanart 08.png
File:Shoefanart 09.jpg
File:Shoefanart 10.jpg
File:Shoefanart 12.jpg
File:Shoefanart 11.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 18.png
File:Extrashoe 01.png
File:Extrashoe 02.gif
File:Extrashoe 03.png
File:Extrashoe 04.png
File:Extrashoe 05.png
File:Extrashoe 06.png
File:Extrashoe 07.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Miscellaneous|cg7|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 03.png|Poor high school bullying victim Shoe making fun of fat chicks
File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|Shoe is fat
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg|June "I never had any friends or boyfriends" Lapine
File:Moreshoeonhead 09.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 20.png|lol bald
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Evenmoreshoe 05.png|Shoe runs her own fan twitter account (possibly several)
File:Moreshoeonhead 05.jpg
File:Evenmoreshoe 07.jpg|The daughter June's parents aren't ashamed of because she isn't a failure
File:Moreshoeonhead 06.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg
File:ShoeOnHead 2006 Edgy.png|Still as much attention whore as she was {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}} - 2006}} years ago
File:Junetheloon.jpg|thumb|Part 2
File:JuneFat.jpg|thumb|Plushies can only hide your rolls for so long
File:Coworkers.png|Can't imagine why her coworkers didn't like her.
File:Realhair.png|June used to brag about how long her hair was before coming out about it being a wig.
File:Moreshoeonhead 07.jpg
File:Shoeonheadanimeavatarhater.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

<center><big>'''"Fan" Videos'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|clone wars|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>MdKQQa0Kktc</youtube>
|<youtube>HlloqD2bThs</youtube>
|<youtube>gj3mVNnwRkM</youtube>
|<youtube>urpzaeMxVfs</youtube>
|<youtube>rhz3oXK9294</youtube>
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==See Also==

*[[Boxxy]] - for obvious reasons
*[[GamerGate]]
*[[Armored skeptic]] - Cheating slavemaster boyfriend who owns her
*[[Unichan]] - Stalker community she was a part of
*[[CatieWayne.com]] -Another Boxxy stalking site she may have been on
*[[Lolcow.farm]] - Created this site just to spy on people who gossip about her
*[[Brittany Venti]] - Her successor. Completely devastated June, not once but TWICE, and really opened the floodgates of exposure
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - Blocked him on twitter because he said she's cute
*[[Jenny McDermott]] - Braindead retard
*[[LeafyIsHere]] - she looks like him in a wig... or he looks like her without her wig
*[[The Satiratician]] - Only funny thing June has ever done, and even that was by accident
*[[Ian]] - Believed to have been Junes old hacker friend
*[[Einsidler]] - [[Fanboy|Fanperson]]
*[[Attention Whore]]

==External Links ==

* {{yt|c|UC0aanx5rpr7D1M7KCFYzrLQ|Shoe0nHead}}
* {{yt|c|UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q|Personal channel}} - This one has been hastily deleted ([https://web.archive.org/web/20170720150815/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q Archive])
* {{yt|u|shoe0ffhead|Shoe0ffHead}} - Every video was deleted in 2021. ([https://web.archive.org/web/20130902055258/https://www.youtube.com/user/shoe0ffhead First Archive]) ([https://web.archive.org/web/20190501115004/https://www.youtube.com/user/Shoe0ffHead Middle Archive]) ([https://web.archive.org/web/20201124090144/https://www.youtube.com/user/Shoe0ffHead Last Archive])
* {{twitter|shoe0nhead}}
* {{twitter|MisandryQu33n}}
* {{twitter|yo_juneskii|Old twitter}}
* [http://boxxy.wikispaces.com/June Her Boxxy wiki article]
* {{archive|S6AGy|Archive of an 8chan thread where she allegedly tried to white knight herself}}
* [https://archive.org/details/youtube-WzwD4T_PV_U Archive of video she deleted]
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=creator%3A%22June+Smith%22 Another archive]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090325064513/https://myspace.com/notthebrightestofthebunch Archive of her old LiveJournal]
* [http://chan.catiewayne.com/m/res/3016.html A thread on another Boxxy stalking site about June]
* {{fb|nikki.lasagnaa|Old facebook}}
* {{fb|oliver.doop.3|Stupid fan page she made for another one}}
* {{fb|ollie.doop|She made at least one more of these}}
* {{myspace|juneskii|Old Myspace}}
* [http://206.223.147.214/shoe0nhead/res/82.html Collection of deleted videos]
* {{dauser|s0upy|Her old DA account}}
* [http://ian-iansblogblogspotcom.blogspot.co.il/2011/08/that-90s-show-is-fail.html Review of her awful "show"]
* {{youtube|9nJa1xfV48w|Shoe blocks other youtuber for making a joke at her}}
* [http://www.formspring.me/juneskii Hastily deleted old forumspring]
* {{instagram|juneskii|Old Instagram}}
* {{Instagram|junelapine|Another old Instagram}}
* {{instagram|shoe0nhead|Current Instagram}}
* {{Soundcloud|s0upy|Her awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|juneskii|Her other awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|shoe0nhead|Her THIRD awful SoundCloud}}
* {{myspace|yo_juneskii|Her MySpace}}
* {{myspace|obeast_man_321|Friend's myspace}}
* {{myspace|junexx|Her sister's MySpace}}
* {{instagram|saruh_michelle|Sister's Instagram}}
* {{fb|sarah.laporta.5|Sister's Facebook}}
* [https://meritpages.com/laporta sister's meritpage]
* [https://ask.fm/shoeqanda Another ask.fm]
* [https://shoe0nhead.blogspot.ca Her shitty blog]

'''June's Endless Collection of Abandoned YT Accounts:'''

'''90's Show Shit''' 
* {{yt|u|90sShowLoca|90sShowLoca}}
* {{yt|u|THAT90sCHANNEL|THAT90sCHANNEL}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowGillz|90sShowGillz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowJames|90sShowJames}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowShortz|90sShowShortz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowSarah|90sShowSarah}}
* {{yt|u|JAFSvideos|JAFSvideos}}
* {{twitter|90sshowloca|Show's twitter}}
* [http://that90sshow.weebly.com/characters.html Show's website]

'''Other'''

* {{yt|u|xjunesVlogx|xjunesVlogx}}
* {{yt|c|UC6PXKhzWTKGuLU7qQJsnoag|hosowa}}
* {{yt|u|galaxxygal|galaxxygal}}
* {{yt|u|kikichanXD|kikichanXD}}
* {{yt|u|NikkiNarcoticxxx|NikkiNarcoticxxx}}
* {{yt|u|BoopyJuneVlogs|BoopyJuneVlogs}}
* {{yt|u|itsjuneskiibroskii|itsjuneskiibroskii}}
* {{yt|u|HalloSoupy|HalloSoupy}}
* {{yt|u|WTFisANupload|WTFisANupload}}
* {{yt|u|LOLBUNNEHS|LOLBUNNEHS}}
* {{yt|c|UCdZec7vEex5N0FGYfDP3eyQ|June la porta}}
* {{yt|c|UCIYE5tSuk49aAXnrZObMVVw|bun0nhead}}
* {{yt|c|UCR-SCdcKWeZOnCddApH1zdg|misandryqu33n}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1pOHjcHlyJsFu7O2hsERsqWUXtDJl9Ca Playlist of old videos]
* There are probably a million more

{{Portals|youtube|whores}}
{{GamerGate}}
{{Sektur}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 14 & 15, [[2017]]|[[Very proud to be an asian]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[HWNDU]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 26 & 27, [[2018]]|[[Armored Skeptic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Totalbiscuit]]}}

[[Category:People]]

Shoe0nHead

2026-06-08T19:21:02Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

{{gotis}}

{{quote|So RationalWiki is a biased website. It is biased and they even acknowledge the fact that they are biased. They are like Encyclopedia fucking Dramatica.|Dropped0nHead|Just for comparing us to RW you deserve [[rape|this article.]]}}

[[File:Shoeonheadnomakeup.png|thumb|What June wants her orbiters to think she looks without makeup. Note the eyebrows, eyeliner, and foundation.]]
[[File:Shoe0nhead bald.jpg|thumb|What she'll look like if she reads this article]]

:''Were you looking for the shitty meme'' '''''"[[Put Shoe On Head]]"''''' ''?'' - ''Why? Is it 2006 again?'' 
:''Were you looking for'' '''''[[K-hate|our own ShoeOnHead]]''''' ''?'' - ''Again, why?'' 

'''Shoe0nHead''' (AKA '''[[Powerword|June Nicole La Porta]]''' or '''Lapine''' because it's [[French]] for bunny and she's so soft and cute uwu) is a {{age|1991|6|22}} year old failed film student, and S&M submissive fetishist that still lives with her parents, after having dropped out and given up on filmmaking due to having zero talent, and is now unemployed and getting by on handouts from fellow losers on [[youtube]]. She is basically the Wile E. Coyote of the skeptic community.

Prior to this, she spent nearly 8 years desperately trying to become internet famous by whoring for the attention of horny virgins online and posting nudes on [[4chan]], before stumbling onto a community of [[boxxy]] stalkers whose userbase worshipped at her feet, while she acted as their cum-rag by being a full-time boxxy's lookalike, until they stole her nudes and she left.

She then had another one of her orbiters create [[lolcow.farm]] as a honeypot to obsessively stalk people who gossiped about her for over a year, then changed her entire personality again and disappeared for a year, reemerging during [[GamerGate]] to finally find "success" in the form of an audience of fedora-wearing MRAs that cream their pants at the idea of a cute-ish girl (they don't know she's bald) who hates feminism, even if she hasn't made a single intelligent argument in any of her videos (even by YT [[skeptic]]'s standards).

Today June continues to waste her life, making 1 video every 2 months in the lowest possible quality, as she laughs at how pathetic her fanbase is, sells them out to a company that used them as practice targets for a self-teaching censorship bot, harasses mentally disabled people on twitter, blocks anyone who disagrees with her and plans to marry a {{age|1984|8|11}} year old, morbidly obese, manchild divorcee and youtuber, who cheated on his wife with her (and like 10 other girls), and who she cheated on her boyfriend with, who now openly cheats on her as well, as her fans continue to jerk off while thinking about her and then pay her to cuck them with some other guy, that then cucks her in return.

__TOC__

[[File:Lastshoe.png|1000px|center]]

==June on Unichan - Obsessive Boxxy Stalker==

Before being known as "Shoe0nHead", June was a known internet thot who would spam 4chan with her nudes. This until she discovered "[[Unichan]]", a community of psychotic [[Boxxy]] stalkers who were infamous for hacking Boxxy's computer, driving Boxxy into hiding and [[doxing]] her again to then show up at the house she was hiding from them in like a bunch of serial killers.

There June finally found "fame" due to her resemblance to Boxxy, and began acting as her clone for the sad nerds on the forum to jerk off to. This continued for some time until she made the mistake of agreeing to hang out [[IRL]] with the multiple men she had been leading on for years while already dating one of them behind their back. [[Almost Raped|You would expect this to end with her getting raped, but no such luck.]] Instead, one of the fat fucks she rejected, spurred by his dream of fucking someone who looks like boxxy being shattered, stole her phone when she was in the shower and took pictures of her screen while viewing her photo gallery full of nudes.

After June and her psychopaths returned home, her nudes were dropped on Unichan, alongside the fact she was as slut who is already fucking one of them, and the entire board of heartbroken autistics began openly gossiping and making fun of her, forcing her to leave.

[[File:Evenmoreshoe 06.png|center|800px]]

====June Creates [[lolcow.farm]] to Spy on Her Stalkers====
[[File:History of june.png|thumb|250px|June confirmed this true without realizing people can [[screencap]] on [[Discord]]]]
Outraged, June had another one of her beta orbiters, a hacker from the site who was famous for hacking Boxxy's computer and was clearly in love with Wig0nHead, create an infamous /[[cow/]] knockoff, called "lolcow.farm", just as some of the many Boxxy stalker sites she was involved in were having trouble staying online. She then got its userbases to migrate to her new board so that she and the poor sap who she got to do this for her could spent the next '''FUCKING YEAR AND SOME CHANGE''' watching every thread about her like a hawk, trying to smoke out who was talking about her by looking at their IP addresses.

In the end, June gave up and her "friend", who she no longer had a reason to pretend to like, gave the site to someone else and moved on with his life. 
Ironically, lolcow.farm still exists to this day and continues to be the #1 place online to go laugh at how pathetic its own creator really is.

{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Moreshoeonhead 02.jpg|800|400|}}|border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}}
<center>'''"Love letters" exchanged between June and the sad loser she duped into wasting a year of his life stalking internet strangers for her'''</center>

{{clear}}

====Additional Gossip from lolcow====

Another story that illustrates how duplicitous and attention hungry Dropped0nHead is, is a rumor about her one-sided relationship with some [https://twitter.com/robkaufmanlive guy named "Rob"], who was a local celebrity that June briefly developed a crush on. So what did she do? Change her entire personality from "KRAZY AND RANDOM XD CLONE OF BOXXXXY June" to "Mega Edgelord June - The Nigger Hater" to impress him, and then lured the lovesick sadsacks from Unichan onto his local access show so he can abuse and laugh at her "friends" with her on live air.

[[File:Lastshoe2.png|1100px|center]]

====June Leave her Black Boyfriend to Stay Popular with Internet Nazis====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 01.gif|thumb|right|220px|June will suck the dick of literally anyone as long as he's tall enough.]]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKCW59ZXJj8 As mentioned, June was able to find herself a boyfriend on Unichan, named "Andrew".] There were only 2 problems:

#He wasn't an e-fame hungry failure like she was.
#He was black.

Having at long last gained the attention she so desperately craved from [[GamerGate]] [[nazi]]s, and combined with the fact that her boyfriend had an apartment, job, was going to school and was trying to get her to grow up and move out of her mom and dad's house instead of staying at home all day and trying get popular online, June dumped her boyfriend so that she'd stop getting flack from /pol/tards about him being black, and in the future would describe their relationship as "Abusive" (ie: him trying to make her act like an adult) as "abusive". Which makes sense, because that's the same way she described her current boyfirend's relationship with his ex wife (who he cheated on with her while she was still dating the nigger) because she wouldn't let him play with toys.

{{Collapsegallery|Shoe the Racist|cg8|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Evenmoreshoe 01.png|June thinks [[fact|black people are stupid.]]
File:Evenmoreshoe 02.png|June would never say "Nigger"! (aside from the many times she did)
File:Evenmoreshoe 04.png|The only people who catcall are "[[niggers|Ghetto Trash]]"
File:Evenmoreshoe 08.jpg|June drawing swastikas on the beach
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoe0nheadisamudshark.png|center|700px]]

June is still butthurt about this and will {{hover|block|black}} anyone who brings it up.

==June - The fakest bitch alive==

One thing that June's fans don't know about her is: Everything. 
June is the fakest person you will ever encounter, lying about every single thing about herself and completely changing her entire personality at the drop of a hat to please whoever it is that is showering her with [[attention]] at the moment. Right now June is playing the shy, insecure, nerdy [[gamer girl]] who hates feminism to her audience to keep them paying her, while pretending to be a bisexual DDLG fetishist for her boyfriend, so that she can justify to herself letting him treat her like shit and allowing him to fuck other chicks in "threesomes" that she only participates in for his enjoyment because she's too scared he will leave her like he did his wife who wouldn't let him cheat.

<big>'''Things Shoe0nHead has Lied About'''</big>
[[File:Evenmoreshoe 03.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Old friend from Unichan reminisces about have fake and crazy June was]]

'''Personal Life:''' In the past, June has claimed to have been a [[goth]], shy, friendless nerd in high school that got bullied. However, in old videos she forgot to delete she happily admits to being a bully herself. Pictures of her prove she was never a goth and other videos show that both her claim that she had no friends or only guy friend are lies as well.

'''Appearance:''' Shoe constantly lies about her height, weight, measurements and wears a wig and 7 tons of makeup to hide the fact she's bald and has the skin of a leper. There's even a theory about her having had a boob job and her photoshopping pictures of herself to make her hips wider/slimmer depending on how fat/malnourished she is at the moment.

'''Internet History:''' Shoe will sometimes pretend she never even went to 4chan in her life, but people who know her from way back know she was a camwhore on [[b|/b/]] and went through a /pol/ phase when she was trying to impress some guy, then had her friend create lolcow.farm and allegedly still lurks [[8chan]] and gets caught white knighting herself there from time to time.

'''Romantic Life:''' June has claimed to have had 0 boyfriends, only 1 boyfriend, only 2 boyfriends, multiple boyfriends, being a kissless virgin until the age of 21, 15 and 13 and having had multiple sexual relationship. All depending on what crowd she's pandering to now.

'''Political Views:''' Liberal, libertarian, left libertarian, unaffiliated, June can be anything! Right now she's quickly disavowing her former right wing "friends" and parroting progressive talking points because she's trying to cozy up to [[SJW]]s.

'''Sexuality:''' June has stated she's completely straight, bisexual, "demi-sexual" and....... 30% gay. Right now she's pretending to be bi and reluctantly taking part in threesomes with her husband because its moderately better than just letting him cheat outright, which he will if she doesn't do it, just like he did with his ex wife. She also makes fun of fat people a lot, but fails to bring up the fact she used to be pretty chunky and pretends she thinks Armored Skeptic's morbid obesity is hot.

Even her voice changes depending on who she's talking to and her fucking name is fake.

==June's First Sad Attempt at E-Fame - "That 90's Show"==

After (or before?) being ousted from the Boxxy stalking community, ShoeGivesHead needed a new way to complete her glorious attention quest. Her plan? Create an unfunny "That 70's Show" ripoff inspired by [[Fred]] called "That 90's Show", that was somehow so cringy it made Fred look like Sammy Davis Jr. by comparison (also, the plot begins in 1998, which makes no sense).

Despite only filming 2 episodes and 8 "minisodes", June's [[unwarranted self importance]] was so massive, and her belief that this can somehow be used to propel her into stardom so misguided, that she took a page out of the [[Randy Stair]] playbook and forced her friends to each create their own YT account where they must post ''in character'' at all times (June's character was, of corse, "Loca", the KARAZY WACKY ONE! XDDDD), as well as multiple twitter accounts, ''two'' websites where people can add their own fan characters, and '''a fucking wiki about the show'''. All of this despite the fact they haven't actually produced anything yet and their "show" had no fans.

The show itself was a fucking atrocity. A poorly acted, poorly written, amateurishly filmed shitshow that felt like an asinine cross between "That 70's Show" and "Friends" that was created by a bunch of people who only know what humor even is because they read the word's definition in a dictionary. And since, aside from June, no one actually cared about this, they quickly devolved into posting blooper reels on their channel that no one cared about, uploading their cringy rants about religion, and making promises of future episodes that (thankfully) never came.

All that is now left of this abortion is listed at the bottom of this article. A dozen dead YT accounts, some abandoned sites and twitter accounts, and one review by an obscure blog, which was the only time anyone ever cared about this tire fire, and even then, just to laugh at it.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AU0zFvgNmpw</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==#GamerGate and Current Content==

[[Image:WhatShoeWants.png|thumb|What Shoe0nHead really wants]]

But after giving up on this for a year or two, finally, June's day had come. After years of trying to become e-famous, GamerGate became Shoe's big break. It was perfect, all she needed to do is hide her bald head and regurgitate lame anti-feminist talking points that she heard in other videos but didn't actually understand. And thanks to [[Thunderf00t]] stumbling across her video by mistake and liking it, this earned her the fame she always wanted from an audience of fedora wearing pedophiles who liked her because she looked 16 and said bunch of things they already agreed with. An anti-feminist girl who looks underaged but isn't and who doesn't look like Karen Straughan? She was perfect!

So what if she didn't do any research, never cited her sources, never read her sources and didn't pretend to be an intellectual? Sure, those are things that every other youtube skeptic™ criticizes SJW's for, but Shoe doesn't have to do that because she's a girl and everyone in GamerGate knows that girls are stupid and should be held to a lower standard (but don't call them misogynists!).

So despite her using her laptop mic and a 2$ webcam while others build entire studios. Despite making 4 videos a year while other YT Skeptics upload 3 times a week just to stay relevant. Despite all her videos being the same. Despite knowing and caring so little about the topic she can't even answer basic questions about it. Despite clearly having no respect for her audience. Despite '''not even playing video games'''. Despite her videos having awful editing, horrible lighting, horrendous audio spikes, are in 480p, and every other thing that makes it seems it is the first video on YouTube in 2009. Despite ALL of this, Shoe currently has '''the biggest and most successful YT skeptic channel''' just by virtue of being a girl. Which really show how worthy the entire community and audience is of being taken seriously.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>V58epBZisoE</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>AU0zFvgNmpw

====How to Make a Shoe Video====

#cover bald spot
#read buzzfeed article
#Stop every 2 minutes to say:
*"Kill me"
*"End my life"
*"What even is this?"

Upload as is and you're done.

Hilariously, despite the fact she puts in 0 effort, she has the nerve to talk shit about other youtuber in her circle like [[Bearing]], saying they're bullies who make lazy content and go after low hanging fruit. This after she herself has regularly had her followers bully fat chicks, elderly people, teenagers, crazy trannies (except her crazy tranny friends, of course), and one mentally disabled guy.

==Armored Skeptic - June's (<s>married</s> now divorced) boyfriend==

'''[[Armored Skeptic]]''' is June's cheating, morbidly obese fiance with an extra chromosome (this is not a joke). He met her online during GamerGate while he was hitting on every single woman he interacted with to add to the harem of women he was cheating on his wife with. Their dynamic solidified when they were in a Google hangout with [[Sargon of Akkad]],and flirted with each other in a cringy manner for 2 fucking hours making poor 'ole Sargon a would-be 3rd wheel. Shoe, who herself had a boyfriend at the time, was receptive to this and joined his brothel of potential sluts that included [[Jenny McDermott]], who he would also flirt with, several women he was fucking behind his wife's back and one woman who was dying of brain cancer and Greg was able to fuck thanks to her diminishing mental faculties and was then forced to continue to pretend to care about until she dies so that he wouldn't look bad for breaking up with a woman dying of cancer.

Growing more and more tired of Gregory's constantly sleeping around, his wife briefly used his accounts to contact his whores and tell them to to stop talking to her husband, but then she just divorced him. Later screenshots of June's Discord would be leaked where she describes Greg's wife as abusive '''because she would hide his toys and get mad at him for wasting all their money on Star Wars merchandise like a fucking child.'''

Gregory came out as the grand winner of this ordeal, and June came out the loser because now he has a mentally broken sex slave that lets him cheat on her and whose popularity he can use to continue to believe he can turn his youtube channel into a media empire one day, even though the only reason anyone subscribes to him is because they masturbate to pictures of his girlfriend. Pregory 1, June 0.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>6E2RVSMZ4dg</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

====June the Cuck====

With both of them broken up, they were free to initiate a pathetic, co-dependent relationship. Shoe now lives as Greg's long distance slave (because even though they have the money he refuses to let her live with him or she might catch him cheating). They are in a "24/7 BDSM relationship" that June constantly brags about online to convince herself that him cheating and mistreating her is just part of their "kink" and exposes June for the desperate loser doormat that she is. To further cope with the fact that her future husband openly flirts with camgirls on Twitter, June convinced herself that she's actually bisexual so that she could at least join in when Greg fucks other girls and pretend it's a threesome and not just cheating. This is another big win for Greg because he can use his bitch's serious abandonment issues to get her to have threesomes with him and random chicks he stalks online. Pregory 2, June 0.

{{Collapsegallery|The "June Gets Cucked" Collection|cg6|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cuckjune 02.jpg|June and Grug are "Poly"
File:Cuckjune 03.png|June "would have shared" her boyfriend (as if he's asking... but there's enough of his fat ass to go around)
File:Cuckjune 04.jpg|Greg flirting with whores on twitter
File:Cuckjune 05.png|Believed to be talking about Greg
File:Cuckjune 06.jpg|Greg flirting with twitter thots again
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Cuckjune 08.png|June learns what a "Cuck" is
File:Cuckjune 07.png|June realizes she's being cucked
File:Cuckjune 09.png|Canadian BDSM dating profile that seems to be Greg's
File:Cuckjune 10.jpg|Collage of camwhore accounts June's boyfriend followed on twitter and regularly tries to fuck
File:Cuckjune 11.png|Account by a woman claiming she had a threesome with them
File:Moreshoeonhead 11.png|Greg told chick he was single when he was married and let some of them believe they're in a relationship with him
File:Moreshoeonhead 13.png|Despite always cheating, Greg lost his shit when he thought June was trying to fuck Jeff Holiday
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

The hypocrisy of all of this is, of course, stunning, because, while Greg forces her to let him cheat or sleep with women for his enjoyment, he refuses to be part of a 2 man threesome for her and lost his fucking mind when he thought Jeff Holiday was trying to fuck her after he was friendly to her for half a minute at a fucking charity event, sending multiple people to DM him, demanding he not talk to his girlfriend, which Holiday publicly laughed at. All of this solidifies and reinforces the fact that Pregory ain't shit either, but more importantly that June is a deeply, deeply insecure person with extremely low self esteem. The fact that she is willing to put up with Greg's adultery by being his [[cuck]] and submitting to his every whim in order to satisfy him and thus not be abandoned by him shows just how pathetic and weak June really is.

====June and Greg - would-be pedophiles====

But the creepiest shit about their "relationship" is how fucking close it is to pedophilia. The fact that their sex lives revolve around a fetish where June pretends to be a little girl and calls Greg "Daddy" is bad enough, but add to that the fact that June acts like a child, talks like a child, dresses like a child, thinks like a child and looks so much like a child that Greg had to go out of his way to explain to people that she's actually an adult. Although, she's still so immature that he actually had to ask her parents for permission to fuck her. And this is clearly not all a coincidence, since June herself has said that Greg would leave her if her childlike measurements ever change. None of this is helped by June defending pedophiles online and Greg liking cartoon loli porn on twitter. It must be truly agonizing for June to have such mind-bogglingly low self-esteem where she stays with a man that does not love and respect her truly, and obeys said man to the umpteenth degree.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Pedo June 01.jpg|Greg thing [[loli]] costumes are hot
File:Pedo June 02.png|June thinks it's okay for men (Gregory) to want to fuck underaged girls
File:Cuckjune 01.png|Pregory likes [[Shadman]]'s cartoon [[CP]] on twitter
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoeonheadpedosidekink.jpg|center|370px]]

However, this isn't completely one-sided, since Greg's underdeveloped mind make him an overgrown baby himself, which is why, despite having already bankrupt himself once, his house is still filled to the brim with the same [[Star Wars]] toys his ex wife had to hide from him and divorce him because he wouldn't stop buying them. What a very sad [[Brett Keane|individual]].

But please don't imply that Greg is a pedo or else he might threaten to sue you like he did Jenny McDormatt.

==Candid - June and Greg Sell out Entire Skeptic Community for a few Shekels==

{{:BeCandid/nav}}

The [[Candid]] app was a scam website that signed paid promotion deals with youtube anti feminists, where it promoted itself as a "free speech" website, as part of a ploy to use their audience to train its automated censorship bot to be better at banning people who criticize feminism and things it just didn't like. And while many people fell for it, Shoe and Greg were the only ones who openly shilled for this website, even after they learned what the site was doing.

The full story is that this company, that already had a history of running scams and was openly run by SJWs, approached a number of "Skeptic" youtubers, who were so good at being skeptical that they signed the contract without looking into who they were entering into a binding, contractual relationship with, or even actually reading what they were signing to see that it included a 3 year NDA. The only person to realize what was going on was [[Harmful Opinions]], who exposed what they were doing. In response, Candid's own CEO doxed HO's mom and threatened her, as well as Mark Kern, who was talking online about its security vulnerabilities, both of whom were friends of Shoe and Greg up until that point.

In response, Shoe made a second video, claiming she wasn't under contract, and then '''deleted that video''' and made a second video '''promoting this website again''' even though, at this point, '''she already knew the company doxed two of her friends and was a scam to censor everyone in her friend circle.''' She then TOOK OVER GREG'S ACCOUNT and put word filters on it (without asking him), to censor everyone talking about what she did. This also means that she was either lying in her first video when she said she wasn't under contract, or she was telling the truth and then signed ''a new contract'', knowingly selling out everyone she knows for some quick cash.

Armored Skeptic took this a step further and '''{{ytlink|X8mEihrhS34|accepted money from Candid's CEO to make an attack video about Harmful Opinions.}}''' The saga eventually concluded when HO was proven to be 100% CORRECT and the site was shut down less than a year later and the bot was (thankfully) sold to Uber and not someone who could actually use it. HO's account was then mysteriously hacked immediately after this, and all videos about the topic wwere deleted. Meanwhile, Shoe and Greg can't even talk about it because they're still under an NDA, and yet still hypocritically complain about internet censorship, when they themselves were more than happy to potentially contribute to it for a few bucks.

And the cherry on top is that "Undoomed", a youtuber that, much like [[Bearing]], Shoe once criticized for being stupid, was the only "Skeptic" who was smart enough to read his contract before signing it and negotiate out of the NDA clause.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg10|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 1.PNG|200px|thumb|center|the concept of hypocrisy is lost on Greg
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 2.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June admits what she did
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 3.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June needs permission to speak but not to systematically censor people
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 4.PNG|200px|thumb|center|what everyone is thinking
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 5.png|200px|thumb|center|more maturity from Greg
Moreshoeonhead 18.png|Shoe admits what she did to HO, but still doesn't tell Greg
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==June Bullies a Mentally Disabled War Vet==
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|thumb|300px|Shoe's panicked DM's to HeHeSilly, begging him do something about the guy exposing her being a psycho]]
Whenever June needs validation, she has her fans bully random people she finds online, like a 50 year old Radfem with 500 subs she stumbled on one day. But sometimes the elderly are not enough for her and she has to go after homeless veterans with PTSD.

Such was the case with [https://www.bitchute.com/channel/lou_plisken/ one paranoid schizophrenic] with a gang-stalking obsession, who made somewhere in the ballpark of 20 videos claiming Shoe was a woman named "Sue" who was a girl that Armored kidnapped as a child and raised to be his slave in an international cat-fishing conspiracy that was planning to murder him. The man was obviously crazy, homeless, living out of his van and eating out of trash cans. But this didn't stop June from making multiple tweets pretending that she actually WAS "Sue" to scare this poor invalid.

She was soon called out by a twitter account that reposts "HeHeSillyComics" strips for being a fucking sociopath. June argued that she did nothing wrong and instead went crying to the person who makes HeHeSillyComics to tell him to shut this guy up. In the end, the guy running the account apologized (perhaps being forced by the comic's creator), and they both deleted all tweets related to this, after which the homeless guy Shoe was bullying, scared for his life, deleted his channel.

But the internet [http://archive.is/rE1e5 never] [http://archive.is/nuncj forgets.]

[[File:Moreshoeonhead 14.png|center|800px]]

==June Animorphs Into an SJW==

It's been a while and GamerGate nerds are no longer giving June enough attention, although if it wasn’t for being buddy-buddy with YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, and larger channels like Sargon of Akkad and Blaire White, Shoe0nHead probably would’ve remained a smaller channel that quickly fade into irrelevance after the GamerGate era ended. Nonetheless: Time to expand! And to do that she needs to change her entire personality again and throw more people under the bus with this simple, 3 part plan:

====Step 1: Break off friendships with incel conservatives and befriend violent leftist====

After years of insisting that their differing political views don't preclude them maintaining a friendship, June did to [[Lauren Southern]] exactly what she did to her black boyfriend Andrew when too many people were threatening to stop giving her attention, and threw her to the dogs in a moronic public statement.

A statement that she retracted hours later when she realized her cost/benefit analysis was off and she was losing more suckups with this move than she was gaining. She also took the time shortly prior to inform people that she no longer finds [[Steve Crowter|Steve Crowder]] funny because his dressing up as women all the time is offensive to her precious trannies or something.

Interestingly, despite her and Lauren now "going in different paths", June's paths seem to be converging with people like Shaun and Jen, a guy who said it's okay to kill right wingers because they aren't human, and ContraPoint who, in his video about "free speech", turned directly to the camera to threaten Dave Rubin in a hilarious attempt to intimidate him into not hosting conservatives on his show anymore.

Sadly for June, Contra at least has enough dignity not to acknowledge she even exists.

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 19.jpg|center|400px]]

<center>'''"I'm nyot fwiends with Steven Cwowdew anymowe uwu!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 24.jpg|center|600px]]

<center>'''"Wauwen Southew is a big poopy head 0W0!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

|}

====Step 2: Become an ill-informed trans crusader====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 15.jpg|thumb|right|300px|June - Two faced as usual]]

But it isn't enough for June to just suck Contra's cock online. No, June has taken to defending "trans right" with the same intellectual vigor she did anti-feminism. Just like with every other topic she comments on, June did zero research and decided that, after years of making fun of [[Transtrender]]s like [[Milo Stewart]] and [[Riley Dennis]], she no longer believes that Transtrenders are a thing and instead thinks that Milo and Riley are legit trannies because they started taking hormones (rather than two impressionable teenagers that are causing their bodies irreparable damage and giving themselves cancer with unnecessary HRT just to fit in with some clique).

Now June blindly defends any position that "supports" transgenders, thinks that calling transgenderism a mental illness is something only bigots do (even though that's literally what it is), and made it her new hobby online to fight with TERFS on twitter. She doesn't actually understand what she's defending or why. All she knows is that her making fun of trannies made them feel bad uwu and that this trumps all scientific facts, an attitude she used to cringily refer to as "feels over realz".

By doing this, June is perpetuating and attitude that is leading countless people who aren't transgender to undergo needless and permanent treatments, actual transgenders to pump their bodies full of cancerous chemicals when they could be cured with therapy, and generally leading more and more transgenders (real or not) to end up committing suicide... In other words: '''SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB AND SHOULD KEEP IT UP!'''

{{approve|using your ignorance and spinelessness to help drive trannies to suicide!}}

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg11|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 25.png|"This mental illness is not a mental illness and anyone who uses facts is a bigot!"
File:Moreshoeonhead 17.jpg|Her transformation is complete! Here she is telling someone [[Dave Chappelle]]'s tranny jokes aren't jokes because they hurt her feeling and because she says so
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

====Step 3: BLOCK EVERYONE====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 16.png|thumb|left|200px|Irony]]
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 21.gif|thumb|right|200px|More irony]]
After years of mocking [[Steve Shives]] for blocking people who make fun of him and people he never talked to because they might make fun of him, as well as taking screencaps of people who block her on twitter for her fans to laugh at, recently June has become so block-happy that people on lolcow.farm turned it into a game to see who can get blocked by her the fastest (just like people used to do with Steve). In the past she used to backpedal and say she only makes fun of Steve because he blocks people before they even tweeted at him (which isn't true), but as of 5/17/2018, the record for fastest shoe block changed from "under one minute" to "under one attosecond", as June has began blocking people who never talked to her because she saw them making fun of when when talking to someone else.

After [[Brittany Venti]] made a video about what a cunt she is (shown above), June took a prolonged "twitter break" that is actually being spent stalking ol' slug-face-brit's twitter and blocking anyone who mentions her video.

Interestingly, there's is a rumor that Pregory propositioned Venti as well.

'''How to get blocked by June:'''

*Tell her she's wrong about something
*Tell her that the Skeptic/Anti Sjw genre on youtube is dead
*say ANYTHING negative about the skeptic community
*Make fun of her wig. Seriously, any mention of her being bald or wearing wigs is an insta-block
*Make any remark towards her that's not covered in uwu and glitter (She'll block you whether malicious or not, she even does this to her fans)
*Bring up her past of bullying
*Bring up current instances of her bullying
*Bring up her black ex boyfriend
*Make a joke at her she doesn't understand (that's how Cognitive Thought got blocked)
*Remind her that [[truth|trans women are not real women]]
*[[Money|Ask why she cared about GamerGate when she hates video games]]
*Be friends with Venti
*Bring up her past of posting her shitty nudes online
*Call out her hypocrisy

Seriously, you don't even need to @ her to get blocked. She searches her name on twitter 24/7. She even searches variants of her name, like "shoe". [[batshit insane|That's right, Shoe0nHead sifts through thousands of posts on twitter under the search "shoe" so she can find people talking shit about her and block them.]] [[HAHAHA OH WOW|She'll even block people for following someone she doesn't like.]]

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 22.png|center|400px]]

<center>'''Shot'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 23.png|center|450px]]

<center>'''Chaser'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|}

==June Vs. Venti==
[[File:Shoe waistline.jpg|thumb|right|300px|is preggory the smol one now?]]

After the Lauren Southern incident, infamous streaming whore [[Brittany Venti]] decided to fuck with Shoe a little to show everyone how fake she is by making a video exposing her. June's immediate response to this was to "take a break" from the internet for two weeks by hiding away in her Discord with her legion of <s>cocksuckers</s> pussy lickers, and occasionally talk shit about Venti, not realizing that trolls are right there with her, screen-capping everything she says.

Meanwhile, Venti did not sit idly by and went on several streams talking more shit about shoe and doing an interview with one of her former friends (the aforementioned "Rob"), who went on her stream to try to defend her, but only ended up admitting that she's fake and that she lied about the age she lost her virginity, unless you count sucking an entire ocean of dicks as being a virgin. This is starting to sound like something written by an untalented fat hack that every pretentious film student, like June, would slob over.
<center><youtube>tpQqH4H_SUQ</youtube></center>

In the meantime, June would pop in and out of her self imposed exile, in her cocoon of sycophants, to block anyone on twitter who makes jokes at her, says anything bad about her, retweets anything Venti says, calls shoe "Shuwu" or "Shoe Shives", talks or follows Venti at all, and even her own fans who are being randomly blocked without understanding why for taking light jabs at her without noticing. When June finally emerged, she wrote a shitty response to the video, lying again, making excuses and ignoring parts she had no answer for.

So Venti made another video.

At the moment Shoe's fans have been able to get Venti's first video taken down from youtube (probably only temporarily) [https://www.bitchute.com/video/mpNB9_GDpuo/ and a copy can be found here.]

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|Venti Town|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>mpNB9_GDpuo</youtube>'''First bideo'''
|<youtube>mWnk4gkMuzw</youtube>'''Second bideo'''
|<youtube>bOehDgPZtwc</youtube>'''Interview with Rob'''
|<youtube>yttKdioMwVU</youtube>'''Deleted Kumite stream'''
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==Someone please call the police to save June's bunny from her==

In spite of her supposed love for bunnies, asking her fans to "send buns" on twitter every time she fucks up and even going so far as to choose an alias that means "Bunny", June's own rabbit is a constant victim of animal abuse.

*June refuses to neuter her bunny, leaving him sexually frustrated and pissing all over her room to the point the smell must be unbearable. She probably can't smell it from all the make-up and glue from her fake hair.
*June’s bunny’s piss at least smells better than June’s icky toejams.
*Feeds him things that bunnies can't properly digest.
*Doesn't own a second bunny to keep it from being lonely, which is considered so cruel that some countries make it illegal.
*Overfeeds it so it looks sickly and morbidly obese.
*Let a cat that is clearly trying to kill it stay in the room all night, staring at her (clearly terrified) bunny in its cage.
*And, worst of all, keeps it in a tiny cage that's meant for hamsters because she's too cheap to buy a bigger one, despite mooching off of her parents.

{{Collapsegallery|Animal Abuse|cg4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoebunny 01.png
File:Shoebunny 02.png
File:Shoebunny 03.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==The Fanbase==

June's fanbase is comprised mostly of sad, lonely men who watch [[Sargon of Akkad]] videos in the morning and think that makes them intellectual, and then jack off to Shoe's videos at night, while pretending that what she says is equally valuable, even though it isn't, even with the laughably low bar that other youtube skeptics have set. As of 2021, she coddles the far right.

Whenever anyone dares insult their precious shouwu, or even do nothing at aside from being mentioned by Shoe on twitter (never by name so she can pretend she isn't talking about anyone in particular, even when everyone knows who her tweet is directed at), Shoe's fans will pounce on that person and be mildly annoying. Because, while their rage at anyone insulting their imaginary internet girlfriend burns with the power of a million suns, the fans themselves are incompetent and can only retaliate by giving videos about her dislikes and leaving mean comments, making them perfect targets to be baited and trolled. The only people Shoe's fans CAN go up against and win are easily triggered teenage feminists, mentally ill army vets, elderly women June find online, and small children. Even though, even when they attacked a young girl for pointing out June abuses her bunny, they weren't able to actually scare her.

==June and Pregory break up==

As of mid 2020 it was announced that June and Pregory are no longer dating. A 5 year relationship down the drain. LOL. Pregory totally dominated Shoe in every way, whether it was in the bedroom and their lifestyle and just in general. Pregory totally won that.

==June's Ideological Snafus==

June's biggest consistency is her inconsistency. She has yet to cogently explain her ideology and what she actually believes, surprising literally no one under the Sun. On one hand, she claims to be a far leftist and recently a Huey Long superfan, but is also extremely soft on right-wingers and tries to cater to those that are still left over from the 2016 anti-SJW days. Her friendship with Lauren Southern is one hallmark example of this. The bitch can't make up her mind LOL. Shoe doesn't seem to take policy seriously, but can you really blame her when humanity and namely, the USA, is pretty much fucked? Might as well mindlessly make memes of it instead of actually using her power as a commentator to make meaningful change. I am not saying no memes, but commentators are supposed to ya know, comment. Instead, she just offers vanilla, surface-level takes that can be debunked in 5 minutes. Sad state of affairs.

==June: A Summary Of Fail==

Despite being the most successful skeptic channel with 1.1 million subscribers, June IRL has still been a total failure. From the fact that she still lives with her parents at 27, her failure as a film student, her lack of a genuine ideology or set of beliefs, her multiple failed attempts at e-fame, various forums that have exposed her, [[Shoe0nhead|this article]], Venti's two videos where she absolutely owns Shoe and the cherry on top of the shit sundae: her co-dependent, loveless relationship where she is the sub and cuck to manchild, [[Armoured Skeptic|Pregory]]; Pregory 4, June 0. June has demonstrated a penchant for failure and being the LOLcow that she claims to laugh at. Despite being a successful YouTuber, she is still a failcow that has no real belief system and is in reality a pandering, people-pleasing, desperate and duplicitous person with abandonment issues who is so desperate to be liked that she is willing to pander to the lowest of the low, neckbeards. June is a pathetic loser because her YouTube content is shit and asinine with her cringy and contrived “cutesy chick” persona. However, June at least gets credit for having been blessed with a cute face. But still: Reality 12, June 0.

==Images==

{{Collapsegallery|Nudes|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead Nudes 1.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 2.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 3.jpg
File:shoe-on-head-nudes-5.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead confirmed.png
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoenudes 07.jpg|Allegedly her ass
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Dressing/Acting Like a Whore|cg21|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead_nudes_4.png
File:Shoenudes 09.jpg
File:Sh0eOnHead Braceface.jpg
File:Shoenudes 01.png
File:Moreshoepics 01.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Moreshoepics 02.jpg|Her sister
File:Moreshoepics 03.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 04.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 05.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 06.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 09.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 10.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 13.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 14.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 15.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 16.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 17.jpg
File:Shoe-and-mirror.jpg|Proof of one of the pics
File:Last shoe.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Whore gifs|cg3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoenudes 02.gif
File:Shoenudes 03.gif
File:Shoenudes 04.gif
File:Shoenudes 05.gif
File:Shoenudes 06.gif
File:Moreshoepics 07.gif
File:Moreshoepics 08.gif
File:Moreshoepics 11.gif
File:Moreshoepics 12.gif
File:Juneshoegif.gif
File:Moreshoeonhead 12.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|"Fan" Art|cg2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:ShoeAndSkeptic.jpg
File:MoarLulzyShoe.jpg
File:Shoefanart 01.jpg
File:Shoefanart 02.png
File:Shoefanart 03.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoefanart 04.png
File:Shoefanart 05.jpg
File:Shoefanart 06.jpg
File:Shoefanart 07.jpg
File:Shoefanart 08.png
File:Shoefanart 09.jpg
File:Shoefanart 10.jpg
File:Shoefanart 12.jpg
File:Shoefanart 11.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 18.png
File:Extrashoe 01.png
File:Extrashoe 02.gif
File:Extrashoe 03.png
File:Extrashoe 04.png
File:Extrashoe 05.png
File:Extrashoe 06.png
File:Extrashoe 07.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Miscellaneous|cg7|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 03.png|Poor high school bullying victim Shoe making fun of fat chicks
File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|Shoe is fat
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg|June "I never had any friends or boyfriends" Lapine
File:Moreshoeonhead 09.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 20.png|lol bald
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Evenmoreshoe 05.png|Shoe runs her own fan twitter account (possibly several)
File:Moreshoeonhead 05.jpg
File:Evenmoreshoe 07.jpg|The daughter June's parents aren't ashamed of because she isn't a failure
File:Moreshoeonhead 06.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg
File:ShoeOnHead 2006 Edgy.png|Still as much attention whore as she was {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}} - 2006}} years ago
File:Junetheloon.jpg|thumb|Part 2
File:JuneFat.jpg|thumb|Plushies can only hide your rolls for so long
File:Coworkers.png|Can't imagine why her coworkers didn't like her.
File:Realhair.png|June used to brag about how long her hair was before coming out about it being a wig.
File:Moreshoeonhead 07.jpg
File:Shoeonheadanimeavatarhater.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

<center><big>'''"Fan" Videos'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|clone wars|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>MdKQQa0Kktc</youtube>
|<youtube>HlloqD2bThs</youtube>
|<youtube>gj3mVNnwRkM</youtube>
|<youtube>urpzaeMxVfs</youtube>
|<youtube>rhz3oXK9294</youtube>
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==See Also==

*[[Boxxy]] - for obvious reasons
*[[GamerGate]]
*[[Armored skeptic]] - Cheating slavemaster boyfriend who owns her
*[[Unichan]] - Stalker community she was a part of
*[[CatieWayne.com]] -Another Boxxy stalking site she may have been on
*[[Lolcow.farm]] - Created this site just to spy on people who gossip about her
*[[Brittany Venti]] - Her successor. Completely devastated June, not once but TWICE, and really opened the floodgates of exposure
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - Blocked him on twitter because he said she's cute
*[[Jenny McDermott]] - Braindead retard
*[[LeafyIsHere]] - she looks like him in a wig... or he looks like her without her wig
*[[The Satiratician]] - Only funny thing June has ever done, and even that was by accident
*[[Ian]] - Believed to have been Junes old hacker friend
*[[Einsidler]] - [[Fanboy|Fanperson]]
*[[Attention Whore]]

==External Links ==

* {{yt|c|UC0aanx5rpr7D1M7KCFYzrLQ|Shoe0nHead}}
* {{yt|c|UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q|Personal channel}} - This one has been hastily deleted ([https://web.archive.org/web/20170720150815/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q Archive])
* {{yt|u|shoe0ffhead|Shoe0ffHead}} - Every video was deleted in 2021. ([https://web.archive.org/web/20130902055258/https://www.youtube.com/user/shoe0ffhead First Archive]) ([https://web.archive.org/web/20201124090144/https://www.youtube.com/user/Shoe0ffHead Last Archive])
* {{twitter|shoe0nhead}}
* {{twitter|MisandryQu33n}}
* {{twitter|yo_juneskii|Old twitter}}
* [http://boxxy.wikispaces.com/June Her Boxxy wiki article]
* {{archive|S6AGy|Archive of an 8chan thread where she allegedly tried to white knight herself}}
* [https://archive.org/details/youtube-WzwD4T_PV_U Archive of video she deleted]
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=creator%3A%22June+Smith%22 Another archive]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090325064513/https://myspace.com/notthebrightestofthebunch Archive of her old LiveJournal]
* [http://chan.catiewayne.com/m/res/3016.html A thread on another Boxxy stalking site about June]
* {{fb|nikki.lasagnaa|Old facebook}}
* {{fb|oliver.doop.3|Stupid fan page she made for another one}}
* {{fb|ollie.doop|She made at least one more of these}}
* {{myspace|juneskii|Old Myspace}}
* [http://206.223.147.214/shoe0nhead/res/82.html Collection of deleted videos]
* {{dauser|s0upy|Her old DA account}}
* [http://ian-iansblogblogspotcom.blogspot.co.il/2011/08/that-90s-show-is-fail.html Review of her awful "show"]
* {{youtube|9nJa1xfV48w|Shoe blocks other youtuber for making a joke at her}}
* [http://www.formspring.me/juneskii Hastily deleted old forumspring]
* {{instagram|juneskii|Old Instagram}}
* {{Instagram|junelapine|Another old Instagram}}
* {{instagram|shoe0nhead|Current Instagram}}
* {{Soundcloud|s0upy|Her awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|juneskii|Her other awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|shoe0nhead|Her THIRD awful SoundCloud}}
* {{myspace|yo_juneskii|Her MySpace}}
* {{myspace|obeast_man_321|Friend's myspace}}
* {{myspace|junexx|Her sister's MySpace}}
* {{instagram|saruh_michelle|Sister's Instagram}}
* {{fb|sarah.laporta.5|Sister's Facebook}}
* [https://meritpages.com/laporta sister's meritpage]
* [https://ask.fm/shoeqanda Another ask.fm]
* [https://shoe0nhead.blogspot.ca Her shitty blog]

'''June's Endless Collection of Abandoned YT Accounts:'''

'''90's Show Shit''' 
* {{yt|u|90sShowLoca|90sShowLoca}}
* {{yt|u|THAT90sCHANNEL|THAT90sCHANNEL}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowGillz|90sShowGillz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowJames|90sShowJames}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowShortz|90sShowShortz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowSarah|90sShowSarah}}
* {{yt|u|JAFSvideos|JAFSvideos}}
* {{twitter|90sshowloca|Show's twitter}}
* [http://that90sshow.weebly.com/characters.html Show's website]

'''Other'''

* {{yt|u|xjunesVlogx|xjunesVlogx}}
* {{yt|c|UC6PXKhzWTKGuLU7qQJsnoag|hosowa}}
* {{yt|u|galaxxygal|galaxxygal}}
* {{yt|u|kikichanXD|kikichanXD}}
* {{yt|u|NikkiNarcoticxxx|NikkiNarcoticxxx}}
* {{yt|u|BoopyJuneVlogs|BoopyJuneVlogs}}
* {{yt|u|itsjuneskiibroskii|itsjuneskiibroskii}}
* {{yt|u|HalloSoupy|HalloSoupy}}
* {{yt|u|WTFisANupload|WTFisANupload}}
* {{yt|u|LOLBUNNEHS|LOLBUNNEHS}}
* {{yt|c|UCdZec7vEex5N0FGYfDP3eyQ|June la porta}}
* {{yt|c|UCIYE5tSuk49aAXnrZObMVVw|bun0nhead}}
* {{yt|c|UCR-SCdcKWeZOnCddApH1zdg|misandryqu33n}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1pOHjcHlyJsFu7O2hsERsqWUXtDJl9Ca Playlist of old videos]
* There are probably a million more

{{Portals|youtube|whores}}
{{GamerGate}}
{{Sektur}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 14 & 15, [[2017]]|[[Very proud to be an asian]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[HWNDU]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 26 & 27, [[2018]]|[[Armored Skeptic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Totalbiscuit]]}}

[[Category:People]]

Shoe0nHead

2026-06-08T19:03:21Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

{{gotis}}

{{quote|So RationalWiki is a biased website. It is biased and they even acknowledge the fact that they are biased. They are like Encyclopedia fucking Dramatica.|Dropped0nHead|Just for comparing us to RW you deserve [[rape|this article.]]}}

[[File:Shoeonheadnomakeup.png|thumb|What June wants her orbiters to think she looks without makeup. Note the eyebrows, eyeliner, and foundation.]]
[[File:Shoe0nhead bald.jpg|thumb|What she'll look like if she reads this article]]

:''Were you looking for the shitty meme'' '''''"[[Put Shoe On Head]]"''''' ''?'' - ''Why? Is it 2006 again?'' 
:''Were you looking for'' '''''[[K-hate|our own ShoeOnHead]]''''' ''?'' - ''Again, why?'' 

'''Shoe0nHead''' (AKA '''[[Powerword|June Nicole La Porta]]''' or '''Lapine''' because it's [[French]] for bunny and she's so soft and cute uwu) is a {{age|1991|6|22}} year old failed film student, and S&M submissive fetishist that still lives with her parents, after having dropped out and given up on filmmaking due to having zero talent, and is now unemployed and getting by on handouts from fellow losers on [[youtube]]. She is basically the Wile E. Coyote of the skeptic community.

Prior to this, she spent nearly 8 years desperately trying to become internet famous by whoring for the attention of horny virgins online and posting nudes on [[4chan]], before stumbling onto a community of [[boxxy]] stalkers whose userbase worshipped at her feet, while she acted as their cum-rag by being a full-time boxxy's lookalike, until they stole her nudes and she left.

She then had another one of her orbiters create [[lolcow.farm]] as a honeypot to obsessively stalk people who gossiped about her for over a year, then changed her entire personality again and disappeared for a year, reemerging during [[GamerGate]] to finally find "success" in the form of an audience of fedora-wearing MRAs that cream their pants at the idea of a cute-ish girl (they don't know she's bald) who hates feminism, even if she hasn't made a single intelligent argument in any of her videos (even by YT [[skeptic]]'s standards).

Today June continues to waste her life, making 1 video every 2 months in the lowest possible quality, as she laughs at how pathetic her fanbase is, sells them out to a company that used them as practice targets for a self-teaching censorship bot, harasses mentally disabled people on twitter, blocks anyone who disagrees with her and plans to marry a {{age|1984|8|11}} year old, morbidly obese, manchild divorcee and youtuber, who cheated on his wife with her (and like 10 other girls), and who she cheated on her boyfriend with, who now openly cheats on her as well, as her fans continue to jerk off while thinking about her and then pay her to cuck them with some other guy, that then cucks her in return.

__TOC__

[[File:Lastshoe.png|1000px|center]]

==June on Unichan - Obsessive Boxxy Stalker==

Before being known as "Shoe0nHead", June was a known internet thot who would spam 4chan with her nudes. This until she discovered "[[Unichan]]", a community of psychotic [[Boxxy]] stalkers who were infamous for hacking Boxxy's computer, driving Boxxy into hiding and [[doxing]] her again to then show up at the house she was hiding from them in like a bunch of serial killers.

There June finally found "fame" due to her resemblance to Boxxy, and began acting as her clone for the sad nerds on the forum to jerk off to. This continued for some time until she made the mistake of agreeing to hang out [[IRL]] with the multiple men she had been leading on for years while already dating one of them behind their back. [[Almost Raped|You would expect this to end with her getting raped, but no such luck.]] Instead, one of the fat fucks she rejected, spurred by his dream of fucking someone who looks like boxxy being shattered, stole her phone when she was in the shower and took pictures of her screen while viewing her photo gallery full of nudes.

After June and her psychopaths returned home, her nudes were dropped on Unichan, alongside the fact she was as slut who is already fucking one of them, and the entire board of heartbroken autistics began openly gossiping and making fun of her, forcing her to leave.

[[File:Evenmoreshoe 06.png|center|800px]]

====June Creates [[lolcow.farm]] to Spy on Her Stalkers====
[[File:History of june.png|thumb|250px|June confirmed this true without realizing people can [[screencap]] on [[Discord]]]]
Outraged, June had another one of her beta orbiters, a hacker from the site who was famous for hacking Boxxy's computer and was clearly in love with Wig0nHead, create an infamous /[[cow/]] knockoff, called "lolcow.farm", just as some of the many Boxxy stalker sites she was involved in were having trouble staying online. She then got its userbases to migrate to her new board so that she and the poor sap who she got to do this for her could spent the next '''FUCKING YEAR AND SOME CHANGE''' watching every thread about her like a hawk, trying to smoke out who was talking about her by looking at their IP addresses.

In the end, June gave up and her "friend", who she no longer had a reason to pretend to like, gave the site to someone else and moved on with his life. 
Ironically, lolcow.farm still exists to this day and continues to be the #1 place online to go laugh at how pathetic its own creator really is.

{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Moreshoeonhead 02.jpg|800|400|}}|border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}}
<center>'''"Love letters" exchanged between June and the sad loser she duped into wasting a year of his life stalking internet strangers for her'''</center>

{{clear}}

====Additional Gossip from lolcow====

Another story that illustrates how duplicitous and attention hungry Dropped0nHead is, is a rumor about her one-sided relationship with some [https://twitter.com/robkaufmanlive guy named "Rob"], who was a local celebrity that June briefly developed a crush on. So what did she do? Change her entire personality from "KRAZY AND RANDOM XD CLONE OF BOXXXXY June" to "Mega Edgelord June - The Nigger Hater" to impress him, and then lured the lovesick sadsacks from Unichan onto his local access show so he can abuse and laugh at her "friends" with her on live air.

[[File:Lastshoe2.png|1100px|center]]

====June Leave her Black Boyfriend to Stay Popular with Internet Nazis====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 01.gif|thumb|right|220px|June will suck the dick of literally anyone as long as he's tall enough.]]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKCW59ZXJj8 As mentioned, June was able to find herself a boyfriend on Unichan, named "Andrew".] There were only 2 problems:

#He wasn't an e-fame hungry failure like she was.
#He was black.

Having at long last gained the attention she so desperately craved from [[GamerGate]] [[nazi]]s, and combined with the fact that her boyfriend had an apartment, job, was going to school and was trying to get her to grow up and move out of her mom and dad's house instead of staying at home all day and trying get popular online, June dumped her boyfriend so that she'd stop getting flack from /pol/tards about him being black, and in the future would describe their relationship as "Abusive" (ie: him trying to make her act like an adult) as "abusive". Which makes sense, because that's the same way she described her current boyfirend's relationship with his ex wife (who he cheated on with her while she was still dating the nigger) because she wouldn't let him play with toys.

{{Collapsegallery|Shoe the Racist|cg8|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Evenmoreshoe 01.png|June thinks [[fact|black people are stupid.]]
File:Evenmoreshoe 02.png|June would never say "Nigger"! (aside from the many times she did)
File:Evenmoreshoe 04.png|The only people who catcall are "[[niggers|Ghetto Trash]]"
File:Evenmoreshoe 08.jpg|June drawing swastikas on the beach
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoe0nheadisamudshark.png|center|700px]]

June is still butthurt about this and will {{hover|block|black}} anyone who brings it up.

==June - The fakest bitch alive==

One thing that June's fans don't know about her is: Everything. 
June is the fakest person you will ever encounter, lying about every single thing about herself and completely changing her entire personality at the drop of a hat to please whoever it is that is showering her with [[attention]] at the moment. Right now June is playing the shy, insecure, nerdy [[gamer girl]] who hates feminism to her audience to keep them paying her, while pretending to be a bisexual DDLG fetishist for her boyfriend, so that she can justify to herself letting him treat her like shit and allowing him to fuck other chicks in "threesomes" that she only participates in for his enjoyment because she's too scared he will leave her like he did his wife who wouldn't let him cheat.

<big>'''Things Shoe0nHead has Lied About'''</big>
[[File:Evenmoreshoe 03.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Old friend from Unichan reminisces about have fake and crazy June was]]

'''Personal Life:''' In the past, June has claimed to have been a [[goth]], shy, friendless nerd in high school that got bullied. However, in old videos she forgot to delete she happily admits to being a bully herself. Pictures of her prove she was never a goth and other videos show that both her claim that she had no friends or only guy friend are lies as well.

'''Appearance:''' Shoe constantly lies about her height, weight, measurements and wears a wig and 7 tons of makeup to hide the fact she's bald and has the skin of a leper. There's even a theory about her having had a boob job and her photoshopping pictures of herself to make her hips wider/slimmer depending on how fat/malnourished she is at the moment.

'''Internet History:''' Shoe will sometimes pretend she never even went to 4chan in her life, but people who know her from way back know she was a camwhore on [[b|/b/]] and went through a /pol/ phase when she was trying to impress some guy, then had her friend create lolcow.farm and allegedly still lurks [[8chan]] and gets caught white knighting herself there from time to time.

'''Romantic Life:''' June has claimed to have had 0 boyfriends, only 1 boyfriend, only 2 boyfriends, multiple boyfriends, being a kissless virgin until the age of 21, 15 and 13 and having had multiple sexual relationship. All depending on what crowd she's pandering to now.

'''Political Views:''' Liberal, libertarian, left libertarian, unaffiliated, June can be anything! Right now she's quickly disavowing her former right wing "friends" and parroting progressive talking points because she's trying to cozy up to [[SJW]]s.

'''Sexuality:''' June has stated she's completely straight, bisexual, "demi-sexual" and....... 30% gay. Right now she's pretending to be bi and reluctantly taking part in threesomes with her husband because its moderately better than just letting him cheat outright, which he will if she doesn't do it, just like he did with his ex wife. She also makes fun of fat people a lot, but fails to bring up the fact she used to be pretty chunky and pretends she thinks Armored Skeptic's morbid obesity is hot.

Even her voice changes depending on who she's talking to and her fucking name is fake.

==June's First Sad Attempt at E-Fame - "That 90's Show"==

After (or before?) being ousted from the Boxxy stalking community, ShoeGivesHead needed a new way to complete her glorious attention quest. Her plan? Create an unfunny "That 70's Show" ripoff inspired by [[Fred]] called "That 90's Show", that was somehow so cringy it made Fred look like Sammy Davis Jr. by comparison (also, the plot begins in 1998, which makes no sense).

Despite only filming 2 episodes and 8 "minisodes", June's [[unwarranted self importance]] was so massive, and her belief that this can somehow be used to propel her into stardom so misguided, that she took a page out of the [[Randy Stair]] playbook and forced her friends to each create their own YT account where they must post ''in character'' at all times (June's character was, of corse, "Loca", the KARAZY WACKY ONE! XDDDD), as well as multiple twitter accounts, ''two'' websites where people can add their own fan characters, and '''a fucking wiki about the show'''. All of this despite the fact they haven't actually produced anything yet and their "show" had no fans.

The show itself was a fucking atrocity. A poorly acted, poorly written, amateurishly filmed shitshow that felt like an asinine cross between "That 70's Show" and "Friends" that was created by a bunch of people who only know what humor even is because they read the word's definition in a dictionary. And since, aside from June, no one actually cared about this, they quickly devolved into posting blooper reels on their channel that no one cared about, uploading their cringy rants about religion, and making promises of future episodes that (thankfully) never came.

All that is now left of this abortion is listed at the bottom of this article. A dozen dead YT accounts, some abandoned sites and twitter accounts, and one review by an obscure blog, which was the only time anyone ever cared about this tire fire, and even then, just to laugh at it.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AU0zFvgNmpw</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==#GamerGate and Current Content==

[[Image:WhatShoeWants.png|thumb|What Shoe0nHead really wants]]

But after giving up on this for a year or two, finally, June's day had come. After years of trying to become e-famous, GamerGate became Shoe's big break. It was perfect, all she needed to do is hide her bald head and regurgitate lame anti-feminist talking points that she heard in other videos but didn't actually understand. And thanks to [[Thunderf00t]] stumbling across her video by mistake and liking it, this earned her the fame she always wanted from an audience of fedora wearing pedophiles who liked her because she looked 16 and said bunch of things they already agreed with. An anti-feminist girl who looks underaged but isn't and who doesn't look like Karen Straughan? She was perfect!

So what if she didn't do any research, never cited her sources, never read her sources and didn't pretend to be an intellectual? Sure, those are things that every other youtube skeptic™ criticizes SJW's for, but Shoe doesn't have to do that because she's a girl and everyone in GamerGate knows that girls are stupid and should be held to a lower standard (but don't call them misogynists!).

So despite her using her laptop mic and a 2$ webcam while others build entire studios. Despite making 4 videos a year while other YT Skeptics upload 3 times a week just to stay relevant. Despite all her videos being the same. Despite knowing and caring so little about the topic she can't even answer basic questions about it. Despite clearly having no respect for her audience. Despite '''not even playing video games'''. Despite her videos having awful editing, horrible lighting, horrendous audio spikes, are in 480p, and every other thing that makes it seems it is the first video on YouTube in 2009. Despite ALL of this, Shoe currently has '''the biggest and most successful YT skeptic channel''' just by virtue of being a girl. Which really show how worthy the entire community and audience is of being taken seriously.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>V58epBZisoE</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>AU0zFvgNmpw

====How to Make a Shoe Video====

#cover bald spot
#read buzzfeed article
#Stop every 2 minutes to say:
*"Kill me"
*"End my life"
*"What even is this?"

Upload as is and you're done.

Hilariously, despite the fact she puts in 0 effort, she has the nerve to talk shit about other youtuber in her circle like [[Bearing]], saying they're bullies who make lazy content and go after low hanging fruit. This after she herself has regularly had her followers bully fat chicks, elderly people, teenagers, crazy trannies (except her crazy tranny friends, of course), and one mentally disabled guy.

==Armored Skeptic - June's (<s>married</s> now divorced) boyfriend==

'''[[Armored Skeptic]]''' is June's cheating, morbidly obese fiance with an extra chromosome (this is not a joke). He met her online during GamerGate while he was hitting on every single woman he interacted with to add to the harem of women he was cheating on his wife with. Their dynamic solidified when they were in a Google hangout with [[Sargon of Akkad]],and flirted with each other in a cringy manner for 2 fucking hours making poor 'ole Sargon a would-be 3rd wheel. Shoe, who herself had a boyfriend at the time, was receptive to this and joined his brothel of potential sluts that included [[Jenny McDermott]], who he would also flirt with, several women he was fucking behind his wife's back and one woman who was dying of brain cancer and Greg was able to fuck thanks to her diminishing mental faculties and was then forced to continue to pretend to care about until she dies so that he wouldn't look bad for breaking up with a woman dying of cancer.

Growing more and more tired of Gregory's constantly sleeping around, his wife briefly used his accounts to contact his whores and tell them to to stop talking to her husband, but then she just divorced him. Later screenshots of June's Discord would be leaked where she describes Greg's wife as abusive '''because she would hide his toys and get mad at him for wasting all their money on Star Wars merchandise like a fucking child.'''

Gregory came out as the grand winner of this ordeal, and June came out the loser because now he has a mentally broken sex slave that lets him cheat on her and whose popularity he can use to continue to believe he can turn his youtube channel into a media empire one day, even though the only reason anyone subscribes to him is because they masturbate to pictures of his girlfriend. Pregory 1, June 0.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>6E2RVSMZ4dg</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

====June the Cuck====

With both of them broken up, they were free to initiate a pathetic, co-dependent relationship. Shoe now lives as Greg's long distance slave (because even though they have the money he refuses to let her live with him or she might catch him cheating). They are in a "24/7 BDSM relationship" that June constantly brags about online to convince herself that him cheating and mistreating her is just part of their "kink" and exposes June for the desperate loser doormat that she is. To further cope with the fact that her future husband openly flirts with camgirls on Twitter, June convinced herself that she's actually bisexual so that she could at least join in when Greg fucks other girls and pretend it's a threesome and not just cheating. This is another big win for Greg because he can use his bitch's serious abandonment issues to get her to have threesomes with him and random chicks he stalks online. Pregory 2, June 0.

{{Collapsegallery|The "June Gets Cucked" Collection|cg6|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cuckjune 02.jpg|June and Grug are "Poly"
File:Cuckjune 03.png|June "would have shared" her boyfriend (as if he's asking... but there's enough of his fat ass to go around)
File:Cuckjune 04.jpg|Greg flirting with whores on twitter
File:Cuckjune 05.png|Believed to be talking about Greg
File:Cuckjune 06.jpg|Greg flirting with twitter thots again
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Cuckjune 08.png|June learns what a "Cuck" is
File:Cuckjune 07.png|June realizes she's being cucked
File:Cuckjune 09.png|Canadian BDSM dating profile that seems to be Greg's
File:Cuckjune 10.jpg|Collage of camwhore accounts June's boyfriend followed on twitter and regularly tries to fuck
File:Cuckjune 11.png|Account by a woman claiming she had a threesome with them
File:Moreshoeonhead 11.png|Greg told chick he was single when he was married and let some of them believe they're in a relationship with him
File:Moreshoeonhead 13.png|Despite always cheating, Greg lost his shit when he thought June was trying to fuck Jeff Holiday
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

The hypocrisy of all of this is, of course, stunning, because, while Greg forces her to let him cheat or sleep with women for his enjoyment, he refuses to be part of a 2 man threesome for her and lost his fucking mind when he thought Jeff Holiday was trying to fuck her after he was friendly to her for half a minute at a fucking charity event, sending multiple people to DM him, demanding he not talk to his girlfriend, which Holiday publicly laughed at. All of this solidifies and reinforces the fact that Pregory ain't shit either, but more importantly that June is a deeply, deeply insecure person with extremely low self esteem. The fact that she is willing to put up with Greg's adultery by being his [[cuck]] and submitting to his every whim in order to satisfy him and thus not be abandoned by him shows just how pathetic and weak June really is.

====June and Greg - would-be pedophiles====

But the creepiest shit about their "relationship" is how fucking close it is to pedophilia. The fact that their sex lives revolve around a fetish where June pretends to be a little girl and calls Greg "Daddy" is bad enough, but add to that the fact that June acts like a child, talks like a child, dresses like a child, thinks like a child and looks so much like a child that Greg had to go out of his way to explain to people that she's actually an adult. Although, she's still so immature that he actually had to ask her parents for permission to fuck her. And this is clearly not all a coincidence, since June herself has said that Greg would leave her if her childlike measurements ever change. None of this is helped by June defending pedophiles online and Greg liking cartoon loli porn on twitter. It must be truly agonizing for June to have such mind-bogglingly low self-esteem where she stays with a man that does not love and respect her truly, and obeys said man to the umpteenth degree.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Pedo June 01.jpg|Greg thing [[loli]] costumes are hot
File:Pedo June 02.png|June thinks it's okay for men (Gregory) to want to fuck underaged girls
File:Cuckjune 01.png|Pregory likes [[Shadman]]'s cartoon [[CP]] on twitter
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoeonheadpedosidekink.jpg|center|370px]]

However, this isn't completely one-sided, since Greg's underdeveloped mind make him an overgrown baby himself, which is why, despite having already bankrupt himself once, his house is still filled to the brim with the same [[Star Wars]] toys his ex wife had to hide from him and divorce him because he wouldn't stop buying them. What a very sad [[Brett Keane|individual]].

But please don't imply that Greg is a pedo or else he might threaten to sue you like he did Jenny McDormatt.

==Candid - June and Greg Sell out Entire Skeptic Community for a few Shekels==

{{:BeCandid/nav}}

The [[Candid]] app was a scam website that signed paid promotion deals with youtube anti feminists, where it promoted itself as a "free speech" website, as part of a ploy to use their audience to train its automated censorship bot to be better at banning people who criticize feminism and things it just didn't like. And while many people fell for it, Shoe and Greg were the only ones who openly shilled for this website, even after they learned what the site was doing.

The full story is that this company, that already had a history of running scams and was openly run by SJWs, approached a number of "Skeptic" youtubers, who were so good at being skeptical that they signed the contract without looking into who they were entering into a binding, contractual relationship with, or even actually reading what they were signing to see that it included a 3 year NDA. The only person to realize what was going on was [[Harmful Opinions]], who exposed what they were doing. In response, Candid's own CEO doxed HO's mom and threatened her, as well as Mark Kern, who was talking online about its security vulnerabilities, both of whom were friends of Shoe and Greg up until that point.

In response, Shoe made a second video, claiming she wasn't under contract, and then '''deleted that video''' and made a second video '''promoting this website again''' even though, at this point, '''she already knew the company doxed two of her friends and was a scam to censor everyone in her friend circle.''' She then TOOK OVER GREG'S ACCOUNT and put word filters on it (without asking him), to censor everyone talking about what she did. This also means that she was either lying in her first video when she said she wasn't under contract, or she was telling the truth and then signed ''a new contract'', knowingly selling out everyone she knows for some quick cash.

Armored Skeptic took this a step further and '''{{ytlink|X8mEihrhS34|accepted money from Candid's CEO to make an attack video about Harmful Opinions.}}''' The saga eventually concluded when HO was proven to be 100% CORRECT and the site was shut down less than a year later and the bot was (thankfully) sold to Uber and not someone who could actually use it. HO's account was then mysteriously hacked immediately after this, and all videos about the topic wwere deleted. Meanwhile, Shoe and Greg can't even talk about it because they're still under an NDA, and yet still hypocritically complain about internet censorship, when they themselves were more than happy to potentially contribute to it for a few bucks.

And the cherry on top is that "Undoomed", a youtuber that, much like [[Bearing]], Shoe once criticized for being stupid, was the only "Skeptic" who was smart enough to read his contract before signing it and negotiate out of the NDA clause.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg10|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 1.PNG|200px|thumb|center|the concept of hypocrisy is lost on Greg
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 2.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June admits what she did
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 3.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June needs permission to speak but not to systematically censor people
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 4.PNG|200px|thumb|center|what everyone is thinking
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 5.png|200px|thumb|center|more maturity from Greg
Moreshoeonhead 18.png|Shoe admits what she did to HO, but still doesn't tell Greg
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==June Bullies a Mentally Disabled War Vet==
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|thumb|300px|Shoe's panicked DM's to HeHeSilly, begging him do something about the guy exposing her being a psycho]]
Whenever June needs validation, she has her fans bully random people she finds online, like a 50 year old Radfem with 500 subs she stumbled on one day. But sometimes the elderly are not enough for her and she has to go after homeless veterans with PTSD.

Such was the case with [https://www.bitchute.com/channel/lou_plisken/ one paranoid schizophrenic] with a gang-stalking obsession, who made somewhere in the ballpark of 20 videos claiming Shoe was a woman named "Sue" who was a girl that Armored kidnapped as a child and raised to be his slave in an international cat-fishing conspiracy that was planning to murder him. The man was obviously crazy, homeless, living out of his van and eating out of trash cans. But this didn't stop June from making multiple tweets pretending that she actually WAS "Sue" to scare this poor invalid.

She was soon called out by a twitter account that reposts "HeHeSillyComics" strips for being a fucking sociopath. June argued that she did nothing wrong and instead went crying to the person who makes HeHeSillyComics to tell him to shut this guy up. In the end, the guy running the account apologized (perhaps being forced by the comic's creator), and they both deleted all tweets related to this, after which the homeless guy Shoe was bullying, scared for his life, deleted his channel.

But the internet [http://archive.is/rE1e5 never] [http://archive.is/nuncj forgets.]

[[File:Moreshoeonhead 14.png|center|800px]]

==June Animorphs Into an SJW==

It's been a while and GamerGate nerds are no longer giving June enough attention, although if it wasn’t for being buddy-buddy with YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, and larger channels like Sargon of Akkad and Blaire White, Shoe0nHead probably would’ve remained a smaller channel that quickly fade into irrelevance after the GamerGate era ended. Nonetheless: Time to expand! And to do that she needs to change her entire personality again and throw more people under the bus with this simple, 3 part plan:

====Step 1: Break off friendships with incel conservatives and befriend violent leftist====

After years of insisting that their differing political views don't preclude them maintaining a friendship, June did to [[Lauren Southern]] exactly what she did to her black boyfriend Andrew when too many people were threatening to stop giving her attention, and threw her to the dogs in a moronic public statement.

A statement that she retracted hours later when she realized her cost/benefit analysis was off and she was losing more suckups with this move than she was gaining. She also took the time shortly prior to inform people that she no longer finds [[Steve Crowter|Steve Crowder]] funny because his dressing up as women all the time is offensive to her precious trannies or something.

Interestingly, despite her and Lauren now "going in different paths", June's paths seem to be converging with people like Shaun and Jen, a guy who said it's okay to kill right wingers because they aren't human, and ContraPoint who, in his video about "free speech", turned directly to the camera to threaten Dave Rubin in a hilarious attempt to intimidate him into not hosting conservatives on his show anymore.

Sadly for June, Contra at least has enough dignity not to acknowledge she even exists.

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 19.jpg|center|400px]]

<center>'''"I'm nyot fwiends with Steven Cwowdew anymowe uwu!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 24.jpg|center|600px]]

<center>'''"Wauwen Southew is a big poopy head 0W0!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

|}

====Step 2: Become an ill-informed trans crusader====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 15.jpg|thumb|right|300px|June - Two faced as usual]]

But it isn't enough for June to just suck Contra's cock online. No, June has taken to defending "trans right" with the same intellectual vigor she did anti-feminism. Just like with every other topic she comments on, June did zero research and decided that, after years of making fun of [[Transtrender]]s like [[Milo Stewart]] and [[Riley Dennis]], she no longer believes that Transtrenders are a thing and instead thinks that Milo and Riley are legit trannies because they started taking hormones (rather than two impressionable teenagers that are causing their bodies irreparable damage and giving themselves cancer with unnecessary HRT just to fit in with some clique).

Now June blindly defends any position that "supports" transgenders, thinks that calling transgenderism a mental illness is something only bigots do (even though that's literally what it is), and made it her new hobby online to fight with TERFS on twitter. She doesn't actually understand what she's defending or why. All she knows is that her making fun of trannies made them feel bad uwu and that this trumps all scientific facts, an attitude she used to cringily refer to as "feels over realz".

By doing this, June is perpetuating and attitude that is leading countless people who aren't transgender to undergo needless and permanent treatments, actual transgenders to pump their bodies full of cancerous chemicals when they could be cured with therapy, and generally leading more and more transgenders (real or not) to end up committing suicide... In other words: '''SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB AND SHOULD KEEP IT UP!'''

{{approve|using your ignorance and spinelessness to help drive trannies to suicide!}}

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg11|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 25.png|"This mental illness is not a mental illness and anyone who uses facts is a bigot!"
File:Moreshoeonhead 17.jpg|Her transformation is complete! Here she is telling someone [[Dave Chappelle]]'s tranny jokes aren't jokes because they hurt her feeling and because she says so
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

====Step 3: BLOCK EVERYONE====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 16.png|thumb|left|200px|Irony]]
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 21.gif|thumb|right|200px|More irony]]
After years of mocking [[Steve Shives]] for blocking people who make fun of him and people he never talked to because they might make fun of him, as well as taking screencaps of people who block her on twitter for her fans to laugh at, recently June has become so block-happy that people on lolcow.farm turned it into a game to see who can get blocked by her the fastest (just like people used to do with Steve). In the past she used to backpedal and say she only makes fun of Steve because he blocks people before they even tweeted at him (which isn't true), but as of 5/17/2018, the record for fastest shoe block changed from "under one minute" to "under one attosecond", as June has began blocking people who never talked to her because she saw them making fun of when when talking to someone else.

After [[Brittany Venti]] made a video about what a cunt she is (shown above), June took a prolonged "twitter break" that is actually being spent stalking ol' slug-face-brit's twitter and blocking anyone who mentions her video.

Interestingly, there's is a rumor that Pregory propositioned Venti as well.

'''How to get blocked by June:'''

*Tell her she's wrong about something
*Tell her that the Skeptic/Anti Sjw genre on youtube is dead
*say ANYTHING negative about the skeptic community
*Make fun of her wig. Seriously, any mention of her being bald or wearing wigs is an insta-block
*Make any remark towards her that's not covered in uwu and glitter (She'll block you whether malicious or not, she even does this to her fans)
*Bring up her past of bullying
*Bring up current instances of her bullying
*Bring up her black ex boyfriend
*Make a joke at her she doesn't understand (that's how Cognitive Thought got blocked)
*Remind her that [[truth|trans women are not real women]]
*[[Money|Ask why she cared about GamerGate when she hates video games]]
*Be friends with Venti
*Bring up her past of posting her shitty nudes online
*Call out her hypocrisy

Seriously, you don't even need to @ her to get blocked. She searches her name on twitter 24/7. She even searches variants of her name, like "shoe". [[batshit insane|That's right, Shoe0nHead sifts through thousands of posts on twitter under the search "shoe" so she can find people talking shit about her and block them.]] [[HAHAHA OH WOW|She'll even block people for following someone she doesn't like.]]

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 22.png|center|400px]]

<center>'''Shot'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 23.png|center|450px]]

<center>'''Chaser'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|}

==June Vs. Venti==
[[File:Shoe waistline.jpg|thumb|right|300px|is preggory the smol one now?]]

After the Lauren Southern incident, infamous streaming whore [[Brittany Venti]] decided to fuck with Shoe a little to show everyone how fake she is by making a video exposing her. June's immediate response to this was to "take a break" from the internet for two weeks by hiding away in her Discord with her legion of <s>cocksuckers</s> pussy lickers, and occasionally talk shit about Venti, not realizing that trolls are right there with her, screen-capping everything she says.

Meanwhile, Venti did not sit idly by and went on several streams talking more shit about shoe and doing an interview with one of her former friends (the aforementioned "Rob"), who went on her stream to try to defend her, but only ended up admitting that she's fake and that she lied about the age she lost her virginity, unless you count sucking an entire ocean of dicks as being a virgin. This is starting to sound like something written by an untalented fat hack that every pretentious film student, like June, would slob over.
<center><youtube>tpQqH4H_SUQ</youtube></center>

In the meantime, June would pop in and out of her self imposed exile, in her cocoon of sycophants, to block anyone on twitter who makes jokes at her, says anything bad about her, retweets anything Venti says, calls shoe "Shuwu" or "Shoe Shives", talks or follows Venti at all, and even her own fans who are being randomly blocked without understanding why for taking light jabs at her without noticing. When June finally emerged, she wrote a shitty response to the video, lying again, making excuses and ignoring parts she had no answer for.

So Venti made another video.

At the moment Shoe's fans have been able to get Venti's first video taken down from youtube (probably only temporarily) [https://www.bitchute.com/video/mpNB9_GDpuo/ and a copy can be found here.]

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|Venti Town|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>mpNB9_GDpuo</youtube>'''First bideo'''
|<youtube>mWnk4gkMuzw</youtube>'''Second bideo'''
|<youtube>bOehDgPZtwc</youtube>'''Interview with Rob'''
|<youtube>yttKdioMwVU</youtube>'''Deleted Kumite stream'''
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==Someone please call the police to save June's bunny from her==

In spite of her supposed love for bunnies, asking her fans to "send buns" on twitter every time she fucks up and even going so far as to choose an alias that means "Bunny", June's own rabbit is a constant victim of animal abuse.

*June refuses to neuter her bunny, leaving him sexually frustrated and pissing all over her room to the point the smell must be unbearable. She probably can't smell it from all the make-up and glue from her fake hair.
*June’s bunny’s piss at least smells better than June’s icky toejams.
*Feeds him things that bunnies can't properly digest.
*Doesn't own a second bunny to keep it from being lonely, which is considered so cruel that some countries make it illegal.
*Overfeeds it so it looks sickly and morbidly obese.
*Let a cat that is clearly trying to kill it stay in the room all night, staring at her (clearly terrified) bunny in its cage.
*And, worst of all, keeps it in a tiny cage that's meant for hamsters because she's too cheap to buy a bigger one, despite mooching off of her parents.

{{Collapsegallery|Animal Abuse|cg4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoebunny 01.png
File:Shoebunny 02.png
File:Shoebunny 03.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==The Fanbase==

June's fanbase is comprised mostly of sad, lonely men who watch [[Sargon of Akkad]] videos in the morning and think that makes them intellectual, and then jack off to Shoe's videos at night, while pretending that what she says is equally valuable, even though it isn't, even with the laughably low bar that other youtube skeptics have set. As of 2021, she coddles the far right.

Whenever anyone dares insult their precious shouwu, or even do nothing at aside from being mentioned by Shoe on twitter (never by name so she can pretend she isn't talking about anyone in particular, even when everyone knows who her tweet is directed at), Shoe's fans will pounce on that person and be mildly annoying. Because, while their rage at anyone insulting their imaginary internet girlfriend burns with the power of a million suns, the fans themselves are incompetent and can only retaliate by giving videos about her dislikes and leaving mean comments, making them perfect targets to be baited and trolled. The only people Shoe's fans CAN go up against and win are easily triggered teenage feminists, mentally ill army vets, elderly women June find online, and small children. Even though, even when they attacked a young girl for pointing out June abuses her bunny, they weren't able to actually scare her.

==June and Pregory break up==

As of mid 2020 it was announced that June and Pregory are no longer dating. A 5 year relationship down the drain. LOL. Pregory totally dominated Shoe in every way, whether it was in the bedroom and their lifestyle and just in general. Pregory totally won that.

==June's Ideological Snafus==

June's biggest consistency is her inconsistency. She has yet to cogently explain her ideology and what she actually believes, surprising literally no one under the Sun. On one hand, she claims to be a far leftist and recently a Huey Long superfan, but is also extremely soft on right-wingers and tries to cater to those that are still left over from the 2016 anti-SJW days. Her friendship with Lauren Southern is one hallmark example of this. The bitch can't make up her mind LOL. Shoe doesn't seem to take policy seriously, but can you really blame her when humanity and namely, the USA, is pretty much fucked? Might as well mindlessly make memes of it instead of actually using her power as a commentator to make meaningful change. I am not saying no memes, but commentators are supposed to ya know, comment. Instead, she just offers vanilla, surface-level takes that can be debunked in 5 minutes. Sad state of affairs.

==June: A Summary Of Fail==

Despite being the most successful skeptic channel with 1.1 million subscribers, June IRL has still been a total failure. From the fact that she still lives with her parents at 27, her failure as a film student, her lack of a genuine ideology or set of beliefs, her multiple failed attempts at e-fame, various forums that have exposed her, [[Shoe0nhead|this article]], Venti's two videos where she absolutely owns Shoe and the cherry on top of the shit sundae: her co-dependent, loveless relationship where she is the sub and cuck to manchild, [[Armoured Skeptic|Pregory]]; Pregory 4, June 0. June has demonstrated a penchant for failure and being the LOLcow that she claims to laugh at. Despite being a successful YouTuber, she is still a failcow that has no real belief system and is in reality a pandering, people-pleasing, desperate and duplicitous person with abandonment issues who is so desperate to be liked that she is willing to pander to the lowest of the low, neckbeards. June is a pathetic loser because her YouTube content is shit and asinine with her cringy and contrived “cutesy chick” persona. However, June at least gets credit for having been blessed with a cute face. But still: Reality 12, June 0.

==Images==

{{Collapsegallery|Nudes|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead Nudes 1.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 2.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 3.jpg
File:shoe-on-head-nudes-5.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead confirmed.png
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoenudes 07.jpg|Allegedly her ass
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Dressing/Acting Like a Whore|cg21|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead_nudes_4.png
File:Shoenudes 09.jpg
File:Sh0eOnHead Braceface.jpg
File:Shoenudes 01.png
File:Moreshoepics 01.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Moreshoepics 02.jpg|Her sister
File:Moreshoepics 03.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 04.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 05.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 06.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 09.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 10.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 13.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 14.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 15.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 16.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 17.jpg
File:Shoe-and-mirror.jpg|Proof of one of the pics
File:Last shoe.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Whore gifs|cg3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoenudes 02.gif
File:Shoenudes 03.gif
File:Shoenudes 04.gif
File:Shoenudes 05.gif
File:Shoenudes 06.gif
File:Moreshoepics 07.gif
File:Moreshoepics 08.gif
File:Moreshoepics 11.gif
File:Moreshoepics 12.gif
File:Juneshoegif.gif
File:Moreshoeonhead 12.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|"Fan" Art|cg2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:ShoeAndSkeptic.jpg
File:MoarLulzyShoe.jpg
File:Shoefanart 01.jpg
File:Shoefanart 02.png
File:Shoefanart 03.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoefanart 04.png
File:Shoefanart 05.jpg
File:Shoefanart 06.jpg
File:Shoefanart 07.jpg
File:Shoefanart 08.png
File:Shoefanart 09.jpg
File:Shoefanart 10.jpg
File:Shoefanart 12.jpg
File:Shoefanart 11.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 18.png
File:Extrashoe 01.png
File:Extrashoe 02.gif
File:Extrashoe 03.png
File:Extrashoe 04.png
File:Extrashoe 05.png
File:Extrashoe 06.png
File:Extrashoe 07.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Miscellaneous|cg7|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 03.png|Poor high school bullying victim Shoe making fun of fat chicks
File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|Shoe is fat
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg|June "I never had any friends or boyfriends" Lapine
File:Moreshoeonhead 09.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 20.png|lol bald
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Evenmoreshoe 05.png|Shoe runs her own fan twitter account (possibly several)
File:Moreshoeonhead 05.jpg
File:Evenmoreshoe 07.jpg|The daughter June's parents aren't ashamed of because she isn't a failure
File:Moreshoeonhead 06.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg
File:ShoeOnHead 2006 Edgy.png|Still as much attention whore as she was {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}} - 2006}} years ago
File:Junetheloon.jpg|thumb|Part 2
File:JuneFat.jpg|thumb|Plushies can only hide your rolls for so long
File:Coworkers.png|Can't imagine why her coworkers didn't like her.
File:Realhair.png|June used to brag about how long her hair was before coming out about it being a wig.
File:Moreshoeonhead 07.jpg
File:Shoeonheadanimeavatarhater.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

<center><big>'''"Fan" Videos'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|clone wars|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>MdKQQa0Kktc</youtube>
|<youtube>HlloqD2bThs</youtube>
|<youtube>gj3mVNnwRkM</youtube>
|<youtube>urpzaeMxVfs</youtube>
|<youtube>rhz3oXK9294</youtube>
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==See Also==

*[[Boxxy]] - for obvious reasons
*[[GamerGate]]
*[[Armored skeptic]] - Cheating slavemaster boyfriend who owns her
*[[Unichan]] - Stalker community she was a part of
*[[CatieWayne.com]] -Another Boxxy stalking site she may have been on
*[[Lolcow.farm]] - Created this site just to spy on people who gossip about her
*[[Brittany Venti]] - Her successor. Completely devastated June, not once but TWICE, and really opened the floodgates of exposure
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - Blocked him on twitter because he said she's cute
*[[Jenny McDermott]] - Braindead retard
*[[LeafyIsHere]] - she looks like him in a wig... or he looks like her without her wig
*[[The Satiratician]] - Only funny thing June has ever done, and even that was by accident
*[[Ian]] - Believed to have been Junes old hacker friend
*[[Einsidler]] - [[Fanboy|Fanperson]]
*[[Attention Whore]]

==External Links ==

* {{yt|c|UC0aanx5rpr7D1M7KCFYzrLQ|Shoe0nHead}}
* {{yt|c|UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q|Personal channel}} - This one has been hastily deleted ([https://web.archive.org/web/20170720150815/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q Archive])
* {{yt|u|shoe0ffhead|Shoe0ffHead}} - Every video has been deleted. ([https://web.archive.org/web/20130902055258/https://www.youtube.com/user/shoe0ffhead First Archive])
* {{twitter|shoe0nhead}}
* {{twitter|MisandryQu33n}}
* {{twitter|yo_juneskii|Old twitter}}
* [http://boxxy.wikispaces.com/June Her Boxxy wiki article]
* {{archive|S6AGy|Archive of an 8chan thread where she allegedly tried to white knight herself}}
* [https://archive.org/details/youtube-WzwD4T_PV_U Archive of video she deleted]
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=creator%3A%22June+Smith%22 Another archive]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090325064513/https://myspace.com/notthebrightestofthebunch Archive of her old LiveJournal]
* [http://chan.catiewayne.com/m/res/3016.html A thread on another Boxxy stalking site about June]
* {{fb|nikki.lasagnaa|Old facebook}}
* {{fb|oliver.doop.3|Stupid fan page she made for another one}}
* {{fb|ollie.doop|She made at least one more of these}}
* {{myspace|juneskii|Old Myspace}}
* [http://206.223.147.214/shoe0nhead/res/82.html Collection of deleted videos]
* {{dauser|s0upy|Her old DA account}}
* [http://ian-iansblogblogspotcom.blogspot.co.il/2011/08/that-90s-show-is-fail.html Review of her awful "show"]
* {{youtube|9nJa1xfV48w|Shoe blocks other youtuber for making a joke at her}}
* [http://www.formspring.me/juneskii Hastily deleted old forumspring]
* {{instagram|juneskii|Old Instagram}}
* {{Instagram|junelapine|Another old Instagram}}
* {{instagram|shoe0nhead|Current Instagram}}
* {{Soundcloud|s0upy|Her awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|juneskii|Her other awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|shoe0nhead|Her THIRD awful SoundCloud}}
* {{myspace|yo_juneskii|Her MySpace}}
* {{myspace|obeast_man_321|Friend's myspace}}
* {{myspace|junexx|Her sister's MySpace}}
* {{instagram|saruh_michelle|Sister's Instagram}}
* {{fb|sarah.laporta.5|Sister's Facebook}}
* [https://meritpages.com/laporta sister's meritpage]
* [https://ask.fm/shoeqanda Another ask.fm]
* [https://shoe0nhead.blogspot.ca Her shitty blog]

'''June's Endless Collection of Abandoned YT Accounts:'''

'''90's Show Shit''' 
* {{yt|u|90sShowLoca|90sShowLoca}}
* {{yt|u|THAT90sCHANNEL|THAT90sCHANNEL}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowGillz|90sShowGillz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowJames|90sShowJames}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowShortz|90sShowShortz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowSarah|90sShowSarah}}
* {{yt|u|JAFSvideos|JAFSvideos}}
* {{twitter|90sshowloca|Show's twitter}}
* [http://that90sshow.weebly.com/characters.html Show's website]

'''Other'''

* {{yt|u|xjunesVlogx|xjunesVlogx}}
* {{yt|c|UC6PXKhzWTKGuLU7qQJsnoag|hosowa}}
* {{yt|u|galaxxygal|galaxxygal}}
* {{yt|u|kikichanXD|kikichanXD}}
* {{yt|u|NikkiNarcoticxxx|NikkiNarcoticxxx}}
* {{yt|u|BoopyJuneVlogs|BoopyJuneVlogs}}
* {{yt|u|itsjuneskiibroskii|itsjuneskiibroskii}}
* {{yt|u|HalloSoupy|HalloSoupy}}
* {{yt|u|WTFisANupload|WTFisANupload}}
* {{yt|u|LOLBUNNEHS|LOLBUNNEHS}}
* {{yt|c|UCdZec7vEex5N0FGYfDP3eyQ|June la porta}}
* {{yt|c|UCIYE5tSuk49aAXnrZObMVVw|bun0nhead}}
* {{yt|c|UCR-SCdcKWeZOnCddApH1zdg|misandryqu33n}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1pOHjcHlyJsFu7O2hsERsqWUXtDJl9Ca Playlist of old videos]
* There are probably a million more

{{Portals|youtube|whores}}
{{GamerGate}}
{{Sektur}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 14 & 15, [[2017]]|[[Very proud to be an asian]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[HWNDU]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 26 & 27, [[2018]]|[[Armored Skeptic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Totalbiscuit]]}}

[[Category:People]]

Shoe0nHead

2026-06-08T18:56:59Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

{{gotis}}

{{quote|So RationalWiki is a biased website. It is biased and they even acknowledge the fact that they are biased. They are like Encyclopedia fucking Dramatica.|Dropped0nHead|Just for comparing us to RW you deserve [[rape|this article.]]}}

[[File:Shoeonheadnomakeup.png|thumb|What June wants her orbiters to think she looks without makeup. Note the eyebrows, eyeliner, and foundation.]]
[[File:Shoe0nhead bald.jpg|thumb|What she'll look like if she reads this article]]

:''Were you looking for the shitty meme'' '''''"[[Put Shoe On Head]]"''''' ''?'' - ''Why? Is it 2006 again?'' 
:''Were you looking for'' '''''[[K-hate|our own ShoeOnHead]]''''' ''?'' - ''Again, why?'' 

'''Shoe0nHead''' (AKA '''[[Powerword|June Nicole La Porta]]''' or '''Lapine''' because it's [[French]] for bunny and she's so soft and cute uwu) is a {{age|1991|6|22}} year old failed film student, and S&M submissive fetishist that still lives with her parents, after having dropped out and given up on filmmaking due to having zero talent, and is now unemployed and getting by on handouts from fellow losers on [[youtube]]. She is basically the Wile E. Coyote of the skeptic community.

Prior to this, she spent nearly 8 years desperately trying to become internet famous by whoring for the attention of horny virgins online and posting nudes on [[4chan]], before stumbling onto a community of [[boxxy]] stalkers whose userbase worshipped at her feet, while she acted as their cum-rag by being a full-time boxxy's lookalike, until they stole her nudes and she left.

She then had another one of her orbiters create [[lolcow.farm]] as a honeypot to obsessively stalk people who gossiped about her for over a year, then changed her entire personality again and disappeared for a year, reemerging during [[GamerGate]] to finally find "success" in the form of an audience of fedora-wearing MRAs that cream their pants at the idea of a cute-ish girl (they don't know she's bald) who hates feminism, even if she hasn't made a single intelligent argument in any of her videos (even by YT [[skeptic]]'s standards).

Today June continues to waste her life, making 1 video every 2 months in the lowest possible quality, as she laughs at how pathetic her fanbase is, sells them out to a company that used them as practice targets for a self-teaching censorship bot, harasses mentally disabled people on twitter, blocks anyone who disagrees with her and plans to marry a {{age|1984|8|11}} year old, morbidly obese, manchild divorcee and youtuber, who cheated on his wife with her (and like 10 other girls), and who she cheated on her boyfriend with, who now openly cheats on her as well, as her fans continue to jerk off while thinking about her and then pay her to cuck them with some other guy, that then cucks her in return.

__TOC__

[[File:Lastshoe.png|1000px|center]]

==June on Unichan - Obsessive Boxxy Stalker==

Before being known as "Shoe0nHead", June was a known internet thot who would spam 4chan with her nudes. This until she discovered "[[Unichan]]", a community of psychotic [[Boxxy]] stalkers who were infamous for hacking Boxxy's computer, driving Boxxy into hiding and [[doxing]] her again to then show up at the house she was hiding from them in like a bunch of serial killers.

There June finally found "fame" due to her resemblance to Boxxy, and began acting as her clone for the sad nerds on the forum to jerk off to. This continued for some time until she made the mistake of agreeing to hang out [[IRL]] with the multiple men she had been leading on for years while already dating one of them behind their back. [[Almost Raped|You would expect this to end with her getting raped, but no such luck.]] Instead, one of the fat fucks she rejected, spurred by his dream of fucking someone who looks like boxxy being shattered, stole her phone when she was in the shower and took pictures of her screen while viewing her photo gallery full of nudes.

After June and her psychopaths returned home, her nudes were dropped on Unichan, alongside the fact she was as slut who is already fucking one of them, and the entire board of heartbroken autistics began openly gossiping and making fun of her, forcing her to leave.

[[File:Evenmoreshoe 06.png|center|800px]]

====June Creates [[lolcow.farm]] to Spy on Her Stalkers====
[[File:History of june.png|thumb|250px|June confirmed this true without realizing people can [[screencap]] on [[Discord]]]]
Outraged, June had another one of her beta orbiters, a hacker from the site who was famous for hacking Boxxy's computer and was clearly in love with Wig0nHead, create an infamous /[[cow/]] knockoff, called "lolcow.farm", just as some of the many Boxxy stalker sites she was involved in were having trouble staying online. She then got its userbases to migrate to her new board so that she and the poor sap who she got to do this for her could spent the next '''FUCKING YEAR AND SOME CHANGE''' watching every thread about her like a hawk, trying to smoke out who was talking about her by looking at their IP addresses.

In the end, June gave up and her "friend", who she no longer had a reason to pretend to like, gave the site to someone else and moved on with his life. 
Ironically, lolcow.farm still exists to this day and continues to be the #1 place online to go laugh at how pathetic its own creator really is.

{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Moreshoeonhead 02.jpg|800|400|}}|border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}}
<center>'''"Love letters" exchanged between June and the sad loser she duped into wasting a year of his life stalking internet strangers for her'''</center>

{{clear}}

====Additional Gossip from lolcow====

Another story that illustrates how duplicitous and attention hungry Dropped0nHead is, is a rumor about her one-sided relationship with some [https://twitter.com/robkaufmanlive guy named "Rob"], who was a local celebrity that June briefly developed a crush on. So what did she do? Change her entire personality from "KRAZY AND RANDOM XD CLONE OF BOXXXXY June" to "Mega Edgelord June - The Nigger Hater" to impress him, and then lured the lovesick sadsacks from Unichan onto his local access show so he can abuse and laugh at her "friends" with her on live air.

[[File:Lastshoe2.png|1100px|center]]

====June Leave her Black Boyfriend to Stay Popular with Internet Nazis====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 01.gif|thumb|right|220px|June will suck the dick of literally anyone as long as he's tall enough.]]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKCW59ZXJj8 As mentioned, June was able to find herself a boyfriend on Unichan, named "Andrew".] There were only 2 problems:

#He wasn't an e-fame hungry failure like she was.
#He was black.

Having at long last gained the attention she so desperately craved from [[GamerGate]] [[nazi]]s, and combined with the fact that her boyfriend had an apartment, job, was going to school and was trying to get her to grow up and move out of her mom and dad's house instead of staying at home all day and trying get popular online, June dumped her boyfriend so that she'd stop getting flack from /pol/tards about him being black, and in the future would describe their relationship as "Abusive" (ie: him trying to make her act like an adult) as "abusive". Which makes sense, because that's the same way she described her current boyfirend's relationship with his ex wife (who he cheated on with her while she was still dating the nigger) because she wouldn't let him play with toys.

{{Collapsegallery|Shoe the Racist|cg8|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Evenmoreshoe 01.png|June thinks [[fact|black people are stupid.]]
File:Evenmoreshoe 02.png|June would never say "Nigger"! (aside from the many times she did)
File:Evenmoreshoe 04.png|The only people who catcall are "[[niggers|Ghetto Trash]]"
File:Evenmoreshoe 08.jpg|June drawing swastikas on the beach
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoe0nheadisamudshark.png|center|700px]]

June is still butthurt about this and will {{hover|block|black}} anyone who brings it up.

==June - The fakest bitch alive==

One thing that June's fans don't know about her is: Everything. 
June is the fakest person you will ever encounter, lying about every single thing about herself and completely changing her entire personality at the drop of a hat to please whoever it is that is showering her with [[attention]] at the moment. Right now June is playing the shy, insecure, nerdy [[gamer girl]] who hates feminism to her audience to keep them paying her, while pretending to be a bisexual DDLG fetishist for her boyfriend, so that she can justify to herself letting him treat her like shit and allowing him to fuck other chicks in "threesomes" that she only participates in for his enjoyment because she's too scared he will leave her like he did his wife who wouldn't let him cheat.

<big>'''Things Shoe0nHead has Lied About'''</big>
[[File:Evenmoreshoe 03.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Old friend from Unichan reminisces about have fake and crazy June was]]

'''Personal Life:''' In the past, June has claimed to have been a [[goth]], shy, friendless nerd in high school that got bullied. However, in old videos she forgot to delete she happily admits to being a bully herself. Pictures of her prove she was never a goth and other videos show that both her claim that she had no friends or only guy friend are lies as well.

'''Appearance:''' Shoe constantly lies about her height, weight, measurements and wears a wig and 7 tons of makeup to hide the fact she's bald and has the skin of a leper. There's even a theory about her having had a boob job and her photoshopping pictures of herself to make her hips wider/slimmer depending on how fat/malnourished she is at the moment.

'''Internet History:''' Shoe will sometimes pretend she never even went to 4chan in her life, but people who know her from way back know she was a camwhore on [[b|/b/]] and went through a /pol/ phase when she was trying to impress some guy, then had her friend create lolcow.farm and allegedly still lurks [[8chan]] and gets caught white knighting herself there from time to time.

'''Romantic Life:''' June has claimed to have had 0 boyfriends, only 1 boyfriend, only 2 boyfriends, multiple boyfriends, being a kissless virgin until the age of 21, 15 and 13 and having had multiple sexual relationship. All depending on what crowd she's pandering to now.

'''Political Views:''' Liberal, libertarian, left libertarian, unaffiliated, June can be anything! Right now she's quickly disavowing her former right wing "friends" and parroting progressive talking points because she's trying to cozy up to [[SJW]]s.

'''Sexuality:''' June has stated she's completely straight, bisexual, "demi-sexual" and....... 30% gay. Right now she's pretending to be bi and reluctantly taking part in threesomes with her husband because its moderately better than just letting him cheat outright, which he will if she doesn't do it, just like he did with his ex wife. She also makes fun of fat people a lot, but fails to bring up the fact she used to be pretty chunky and pretends she thinks Armored Skeptic's morbid obesity is hot.

Even her voice changes depending on who she's talking to and her fucking name is fake.

==June's First Sad Attempt at E-Fame - "That 90's Show"==

After (or before?) being ousted from the Boxxy stalking community, ShoeGivesHead needed a new way to complete her glorious attention quest. Her plan? Create an unfunny "That 70's Show" ripoff inspired by [[Fred]] called "That 90's Show", that was somehow so cringy it made Fred look like Sammy Davis Jr. by comparison (also, the plot begins in 1998, which makes no sense).

Despite only filming 2 episodes and 8 "minisodes", June's [[unwarranted self importance]] was so massive, and her belief that this can somehow be used to propel her into stardom so misguided, that she took a page out of the [[Randy Stair]] playbook and forced her friends to each create their own YT account where they must post ''in character'' at all times (June's character was, of corse, "Loca", the KARAZY WACKY ONE! XDDDD), as well as multiple twitter accounts, ''two'' websites where people can add their own fan characters, and '''a fucking wiki about the show'''. All of this despite the fact they haven't actually produced anything yet and their "show" had no fans.

The show itself was a fucking atrocity. A poorly acted, poorly written, amateurishly filmed shitshow that felt like an asinine cross between "That 70's Show" and "Friends" that was created by a bunch of people who only know what humor even is because they read the word's definition in a dictionary. And since, aside from June, no one actually cared about this, they quickly devolved into posting blooper reels on their channel that no one cared about, uploading their cringy rants about religion, and making promises of future episodes that (thankfully) never came.

All that is now left of this abortion is listed at the bottom of this article. A dozen dead YT accounts, some abandoned sites and twitter accounts, and one review by an obscure blog, which was the only time anyone ever cared about this tire fire, and even then, just to laugh at it.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AU0zFvgNmpw</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==#GamerGate and Current Content==

[[Image:WhatShoeWants.png|thumb|What Shoe0nHead really wants]]

But after giving up on this for a year or two, finally, June's day had come. After years of trying to become e-famous, GamerGate became Shoe's big break. It was perfect, all she needed to do is hide her bald head and regurgitate lame anti-feminist talking points that she heard in other videos but didn't actually understand. And thanks to [[Thunderf00t]] stumbling across her video by mistake and liking it, this earned her the fame she always wanted from an audience of fedora wearing pedophiles who liked her because she looked 16 and said bunch of things they already agreed with. An anti-feminist girl who looks underaged but isn't and who doesn't look like Karen Straughan? She was perfect!

So what if she didn't do any research, never cited her sources, never read her sources and didn't pretend to be an intellectual? Sure, those are things that every other youtube skeptic™ criticizes SJW's for, but Shoe doesn't have to do that because she's a girl and everyone in GamerGate knows that girls are stupid and should be held to a lower standard (but don't call them misogynists!).

So despite her using her laptop mic and a 2$ webcam while others build entire studios. Despite making 4 videos a year while other YT Skeptics upload 3 times a week just to stay relevant. Despite all her videos being the same. Despite knowing and caring so little about the topic she can't even answer basic questions about it. Despite clearly having no respect for her audience. Despite '''not even playing video games'''. Despite her videos having awful editing, horrible lighting, horrendous audio spikes, are in 480p, and every other thing that makes it seems it is the first video on YouTube in 2009. Despite ALL of this, Shoe currently has '''the biggest and most successful YT skeptic channel''' just by virtue of being a girl. Which really show how worthy the entire community and audience is of being taken seriously.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>V58epBZisoE</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>AU0zFvgNmpw

====How to Make a Shoe Video====

#cover bald spot
#read buzzfeed article
#Stop every 2 minutes to say:
*"Kill me"
*"End my life"
*"What even is this?"

Upload as is and you're done.

Hilariously, despite the fact she puts in 0 effort, she has the nerve to talk shit about other youtuber in her circle like [[Bearing]], saying they're bullies who make lazy content and go after low hanging fruit. This after she herself has regularly had her followers bully fat chicks, elderly people, teenagers, crazy trannies (except her crazy tranny friends, of course), and one mentally disabled guy.

==Armored Skeptic - June's (<s>married</s> now divorced) boyfriend==

'''[[Armored Skeptic]]''' is June's cheating, morbidly obese fiance with an extra chromosome (this is not a joke). He met her online during GamerGate while he was hitting on every single woman he interacted with to add to the harem of women he was cheating on his wife with. Their dynamic solidified when they were in a Google hangout with [[Sargon of Akkad]],and flirted with each other in a cringy manner for 2 fucking hours making poor 'ole Sargon a would-be 3rd wheel. Shoe, who herself had a boyfriend at the time, was receptive to this and joined his brothel of potential sluts that included [[Jenny McDermott]], who he would also flirt with, several women he was fucking behind his wife's back and one woman who was dying of brain cancer and Greg was able to fuck thanks to her diminishing mental faculties and was then forced to continue to pretend to care about until she dies so that he wouldn't look bad for breaking up with a woman dying of cancer.

Growing more and more tired of Gregory's constantly sleeping around, his wife briefly used his accounts to contact his whores and tell them to to stop talking to her husband, but then she just divorced him. Later screenshots of June's Discord would be leaked where she describes Greg's wife as abusive '''because she would hide his toys and get mad at him for wasting all their money on Star Wars merchandise like a fucking child.'''

Gregory came out as the grand winner of this ordeal, and June came out the loser because now he has a mentally broken sex slave that lets him cheat on her and whose popularity he can use to continue to believe he can turn his youtube channel into a media empire one day, even though the only reason anyone subscribes to him is because they masturbate to pictures of his girlfriend. Pregory 1, June 0.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>6E2RVSMZ4dg</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

====June the Cuck====

With both of them broken up, they were free to initiate a pathetic, co-dependent relationship. Shoe now lives as Greg's long distance slave (because even though they have the money he refuses to let her live with him or she might catch him cheating). They are in a "24/7 BDSM relationship" that June constantly brags about online to convince herself that him cheating and mistreating her is just part of their "kink" and exposes June for the desperate loser doormat that she is. To further cope with the fact that her future husband openly flirts with camgirls on Twitter, June convinced herself that she's actually bisexual so that she could at least join in when Greg fucks other girls and pretend it's a threesome and not just cheating. This is another big win for Greg because he can use his bitch's serious abandonment issues to get her to have threesomes with him and random chicks he stalks online. Pregory 2, June 0.

{{Collapsegallery|The "June Gets Cucked" Collection|cg6|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cuckjune 02.jpg|June and Grug are "Poly"
File:Cuckjune 03.png|June "would have shared" her boyfriend (as if he's asking... but there's enough of his fat ass to go around)
File:Cuckjune 04.jpg|Greg flirting with whores on twitter
File:Cuckjune 05.png|Believed to be talking about Greg
File:Cuckjune 06.jpg|Greg flirting with twitter thots again
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Cuckjune 08.png|June learns what a "Cuck" is
File:Cuckjune 07.png|June realizes she's being cucked
File:Cuckjune 09.png|Canadian BDSM dating profile that seems to be Greg's
File:Cuckjune 10.jpg|Collage of camwhore accounts June's boyfriend followed on twitter and regularly tries to fuck
File:Cuckjune 11.png|Account by a woman claiming she had a threesome with them
File:Moreshoeonhead 11.png|Greg told chick he was single when he was married and let some of them believe they're in a relationship with him
File:Moreshoeonhead 13.png|Despite always cheating, Greg lost his shit when he thought June was trying to fuck Jeff Holiday
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

The hypocrisy of all of this is, of course, stunning, because, while Greg forces her to let him cheat or sleep with women for his enjoyment, he refuses to be part of a 2 man threesome for her and lost his fucking mind when he thought Jeff Holiday was trying to fuck her after he was friendly to her for half a minute at a fucking charity event, sending multiple people to DM him, demanding he not talk to his girlfriend, which Holiday publicly laughed at. All of this solidifies and reinforces the fact that Pregory ain't shit either, but more importantly that June is a deeply, deeply insecure person with extremely low self esteem. The fact that she is willing to put up with Greg's adultery by being his [[cuck]] and submitting to his every whim in order to satisfy him and thus not be abandoned by him shows just how pathetic and weak June really is.

====June and Greg - would-be pedophiles====

But the creepiest shit about their "relationship" is how fucking close it is to pedophilia. The fact that their sex lives revolve around a fetish where June pretends to be a little girl and calls Greg "Daddy" is bad enough, but add to that the fact that June acts like a child, talks like a child, dresses like a child, thinks like a child and looks so much like a child that Greg had to go out of his way to explain to people that she's actually an adult. Although, she's still so immature that he actually had to ask her parents for permission to fuck her. And this is clearly not all a coincidence, since June herself has said that Greg would leave her if her childlike measurements ever change. None of this is helped by June defending pedophiles online and Greg liking cartoon loli porn on twitter. It must be truly agonizing for June to have such mind-bogglingly low self-esteem where she stays with a man that does not love and respect her truly, and obeys said man to the umpteenth degree.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Pedo June 01.jpg|Greg thing [[loli]] costumes are hot
File:Pedo June 02.png|June thinks it's okay for men (Gregory) to want to fuck underaged girls
File:Cuckjune 01.png|Pregory likes [[Shadman]]'s cartoon [[CP]] on twitter
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoeonheadpedosidekink.jpg|center|370px]]

However, this isn't completely one-sided, since Greg's underdeveloped mind make him an overgrown baby himself, which is why, despite having already bankrupt himself once, his house is still filled to the brim with the same [[Star Wars]] toys his ex wife had to hide from him and divorce him because he wouldn't stop buying them. What a very sad [[Brett Keane|individual]].

But please don't imply that Greg is a pedo or else he might threaten to sue you like he did Jenny McDormatt.

==Candid - June and Greg Sell out Entire Skeptic Community for a few Shekels==

{{:BeCandid/nav}}

The [[Candid]] app was a scam website that signed paid promotion deals with youtube anti feminists, where it promoted itself as a "free speech" website, as part of a ploy to use their audience to train its automated censorship bot to be better at banning people who criticize feminism and things it just didn't like. And while many people fell for it, Shoe and Greg were the only ones who openly shilled for this website, even after they learned what the site was doing.

The full story is that this company, that already had a history of running scams and was openly run by SJWs, approached a number of "Skeptic" youtubers, who were so good at being skeptical that they signed the contract without looking into who they were entering into a binding, contractual relationship with, or even actually reading what they were signing to see that it included a 3 year NDA. The only person to realize what was going on was [[Harmful Opinions]], who exposed what they were doing. In response, Candid's own CEO doxed HO's mom and threatened her, as well as Mark Kern, who was talking online about its security vulnerabilities, both of whom were friends of Shoe and Greg up until that point.

In response, Shoe made a second video, claiming she wasn't under contract, and then '''deleted that video''' and made a second video '''promoting this website again''' even though, at this point, '''she already knew the company doxed two of her friends and was a scam to censor everyone in her friend circle.''' She then TOOK OVER GREG'S ACCOUNT and put word filters on it (without asking him), to censor everyone talking about what she did. This also means that she was either lying in her first video when she said she wasn't under contract, or she was telling the truth and then signed ''a new contract'', knowingly selling out everyone she knows for some quick cash.

Armored Skeptic took this a step further and '''{{ytlink|X8mEihrhS34|accepted money from Candid's CEO to make an attack video about Harmful Opinions.}}''' The saga eventually concluded when HO was proven to be 100% CORRECT and the site was shut down less than a year later and the bot was (thankfully) sold to Uber and not someone who could actually use it. HO's account was then mysteriously hacked immediately after this, and all videos about the topic wwere deleted. Meanwhile, Shoe and Greg can't even talk about it because they're still under an NDA, and yet still hypocritically complain about internet censorship, when they themselves were more than happy to potentially contribute to it for a few bucks.

And the cherry on top is that "Undoomed", a youtuber that, much like [[Bearing]], Shoe once criticized for being stupid, was the only "Skeptic" who was smart enough to read his contract before signing it and negotiate out of the NDA clause.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg10|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 1.PNG|200px|thumb|center|the concept of hypocrisy is lost on Greg
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 2.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June admits what she did
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 3.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June needs permission to speak but not to systematically censor people
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 4.PNG|200px|thumb|center|what everyone is thinking
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 5.png|200px|thumb|center|more maturity from Greg
Moreshoeonhead 18.png|Shoe admits what she did to HO, but still doesn't tell Greg
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==June Bullies a Mentally Disabled War Vet==
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|thumb|300px|Shoe's panicked DM's to HeHeSilly, begging him do something about the guy exposing her being a psycho]]
Whenever June needs validation, she has her fans bully random people she finds online, like a 50 year old Radfem with 500 subs she stumbled on one day. But sometimes the elderly are not enough for her and she has to go after homeless veterans with PTSD.

Such was the case with [https://www.bitchute.com/channel/lou_plisken/ one paranoid schizophrenic] with a gang-stalking obsession, who made somewhere in the ballpark of 20 videos claiming Shoe was a woman named "Sue" who was a girl that Armored kidnapped as a child and raised to be his slave in an international cat-fishing conspiracy that was planning to murder him. The man was obviously crazy, homeless, living out of his van and eating out of trash cans. But this didn't stop June from making multiple tweets pretending that she actually WAS "Sue" to scare this poor invalid.

She was soon called out by a twitter account that reposts "HeHeSillyComics" strips for being a fucking sociopath. June argued that she did nothing wrong and instead went crying to the person who makes HeHeSillyComics to tell him to shut this guy up. In the end, the guy running the account apologized (perhaps being forced by the comic's creator), and they both deleted all tweets related to this, after which the homeless guy Shoe was bullying, scared for his life, deleted his channel.

But the internet [http://archive.is/rE1e5 never] [http://archive.is/nuncj forgets.]

[[File:Moreshoeonhead 14.png|center|800px]]

==June Animorphs Into an SJW==

It's been a while and GamerGate nerds are no longer giving June enough attention, although if it wasn’t for being buddy-buddy with YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, and larger channels like Sargon of Akkad and Blaire White, Shoe0nHead probably would’ve remained a smaller channel that quickly fade into irrelevance after the GamerGate era ended. Nonetheless: Time to expand! And to do that she needs to change her entire personality again and throw more people under the bus with this simple, 3 part plan:

====Step 1: Break off friendships with incel conservatives and befriend violent leftist====

After years of insisting that their differing political views don't preclude them maintaining a friendship, June did to [[Lauren Southern]] exactly what she did to her black boyfriend Andrew when too many people were threatening to stop giving her attention, and threw her to the dogs in a moronic public statement.

A statement that she retracted hours later when she realized her cost/benefit analysis was off and she was losing more suckups with this move than she was gaining. She also took the time shortly prior to inform people that she no longer finds [[Steve Crowter|Steve Crowder]] funny because his dressing up as women all the time is offensive to her precious trannies or something.

Interestingly, despite her and Lauren now "going in different paths", June's paths seem to be converging with people like Shaun and Jen, a guy who said it's okay to kill right wingers because they aren't human, and ContraPoint who, in his video about "free speech", turned directly to the camera to threaten Dave Rubin in a hilarious attempt to intimidate him into not hosting conservatives on his show anymore.

Sadly for June, Contra at least has enough dignity not to acknowledge she even exists.

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 19.jpg|center|400px]]

<center>'''"I'm nyot fwiends with Steven Cwowdew anymowe uwu!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 24.jpg|center|600px]]

<center>'''"Wauwen Southew is a big poopy head 0W0!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

|}

====Step 2: Become an ill-informed trans crusader====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 15.jpg|thumb|right|300px|June - Two faced as usual]]

But it isn't enough for June to just suck Contra's cock online. No, June has taken to defending "trans right" with the same intellectual vigor she did anti-feminism. Just like with every other topic she comments on, June did zero research and decided that, after years of making fun of [[Transtrender]]s like [[Milo Stewart]] and [[Riley Dennis]], she no longer believes that Transtrenders are a thing and instead thinks that Milo and Riley are legit trannies because they started taking hormones (rather than two impressionable teenagers that are causing their bodies irreparable damage and giving themselves cancer with unnecessary HRT just to fit in with some clique).

Now June blindly defends any position that "supports" transgenders, thinks that calling transgenderism a mental illness is something only bigots do (even though that's literally what it is), and made it her new hobby online to fight with TERFS on twitter. She doesn't actually understand what she's defending or why. All she knows is that her making fun of trannies made them feel bad uwu and that this trumps all scientific facts, an attitude she used to cringily refer to as "feels over realz".

By doing this, June is perpetuating and attitude that is leading countless people who aren't transgender to undergo needless and permanent treatments, actual transgenders to pump their bodies full of cancerous chemicals when they could be cured with therapy, and generally leading more and more transgenders (real or not) to end up committing suicide... In other words: '''SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB AND SHOULD KEEP IT UP!'''

{{approve|using your ignorance and spinelessness to help drive trannies to suicide!}}

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg11|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 25.png|"This mental illness is not a mental illness and anyone who uses facts is a bigot!"
File:Moreshoeonhead 17.jpg|Her transformation is complete! Here she is telling someone [[Dave Chappelle]]'s tranny jokes aren't jokes because they hurt her feeling and because she says so
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

====Step 3: BLOCK EVERYONE====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 16.png|thumb|left|200px|Irony]]
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 21.gif|thumb|right|200px|More irony]]
After years of mocking [[Steve Shives]] for blocking people who make fun of him and people he never talked to because they might make fun of him, as well as taking screencaps of people who block her on twitter for her fans to laugh at, recently June has become so block-happy that people on lolcow.farm turned it into a game to see who can get blocked by her the fastest (just like people used to do with Steve). In the past she used to backpedal and say she only makes fun of Steve because he blocks people before they even tweeted at him (which isn't true), but as of 5/17/2018, the record for fastest shoe block changed from "under one minute" to "under one attosecond", as June has began blocking people who never talked to her because she saw them making fun of when when talking to someone else.

After [[Brittany Venti]] made a video about what a cunt she is (shown above), June took a prolonged "twitter break" that is actually being spent stalking ol' slug-face-brit's twitter and blocking anyone who mentions her video.

Interestingly, there's is a rumor that Pregory propositioned Venti as well.

'''How to get blocked by June:'''

*Tell her she's wrong about something
*Tell her that the Skeptic/Anti Sjw genre on youtube is dead
*say ANYTHING negative about the skeptic community
*Make fun of her wig. Seriously, any mention of her being bald or wearing wigs is an insta-block
*Make any remark towards her that's not covered in uwu and glitter (She'll block you whether malicious or not, she even does this to her fans)
*Bring up her past of bullying
*Bring up current instances of her bullying
*Bring up her black ex boyfriend
*Make a joke at her she doesn't understand (that's how Cognitive Thought got blocked)
*Remind her that [[truth|trans women are not real women]]
*[[Money|Ask why she cared about GamerGate when she hates video games]]
*Be friends with Venti
*Bring up her past of posting her shitty nudes online
*Call out her hypocrisy

Seriously, you don't even need to @ her to get blocked. She searches her name on twitter 24/7. She even searches variants of her name, like "shoe". [[batshit insane|That's right, Shoe0nHead sifts through thousands of posts on twitter under the search "shoe" so she can find people talking shit about her and block them.]] [[HAHAHA OH WOW|She'll even block people for following someone she doesn't like.]]

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 22.png|center|400px]]

<center>'''Shot'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 23.png|center|450px]]

<center>'''Chaser'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|}

==June Vs. Venti==
[[File:Shoe waistline.jpg|thumb|right|300px|is preggory the smol one now?]]

After the Lauren Southern incident, infamous streaming whore [[Brittany Venti]] decided to fuck with Shoe a little to show everyone how fake she is by making a video exposing her. June's immediate response to this was to "take a break" from the internet for two weeks by hiding away in her Discord with her legion of <s>cocksuckers</s> pussy lickers, and occasionally talk shit about Venti, not realizing that trolls are right there with her, screen-capping everything she says.

Meanwhile, Venti did not sit idly by and went on several streams talking more shit about shoe and doing an interview with one of her former friends (the aforementioned "Rob"), who went on her stream to try to defend her, but only ended up admitting that she's fake and that she lied about the age she lost her virginity, unless you count sucking an entire ocean of dicks as being a virgin. This is starting to sound like something written by an untalented fat hack that every pretentious film student, like June, would slob over.
<center><youtube>tpQqH4H_SUQ</youtube></center>

In the meantime, June would pop in and out of her self imposed exile, in her cocoon of sycophants, to block anyone on twitter who makes jokes at her, says anything bad about her, retweets anything Venti says, calls shoe "Shuwu" or "Shoe Shives", talks or follows Venti at all, and even her own fans who are being randomly blocked without understanding why for taking light jabs at her without noticing. When June finally emerged, she wrote a shitty response to the video, lying again, making excuses and ignoring parts she had no answer for.

So Venti made another video.

At the moment Shoe's fans have been able to get Venti's first video taken down from youtube (probably only temporarily) [https://www.bitchute.com/video/mpNB9_GDpuo/ and a copy can be found here.]

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|Venti Town|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>mpNB9_GDpuo</youtube>'''First bideo'''
|<youtube>mWnk4gkMuzw</youtube>'''Second bideo'''
|<youtube>bOehDgPZtwc</youtube>'''Interview with Rob'''
|<youtube>yttKdioMwVU</youtube>'''Deleted Kumite stream'''
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==Someone please call the police to save June's bunny from her==

In spite of her supposed love for bunnies, asking her fans to "send buns" on twitter every time she fucks up and even going so far as to choose an alias that means "Bunny", June's own rabbit is a constant victim of animal abuse.

*June refuses to neuter her bunny, leaving him sexually frustrated and pissing all over her room to the point the smell must be unbearable. She probably can't smell it from all the make-up and glue from her fake hair.
*June’s bunny’s piss at least smells better than June’s icky toejams.
*Feeds him things that bunnies can't properly digest.
*Doesn't own a second bunny to keep it from being lonely, which is considered so cruel that some countries make it illegal.
*Overfeeds it so it looks sickly and morbidly obese.
*Let a cat that is clearly trying to kill it stay in the room all night, staring at her (clearly terrified) bunny in its cage.
*And, worst of all, keeps it in a tiny cage that's meant for hamsters because she's too cheap to buy a bigger one, despite mooching off of her parents.

{{Collapsegallery|Animal Abuse|cg4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoebunny 01.png
File:Shoebunny 02.png
File:Shoebunny 03.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==The Fanbase==

June's fanbase is comprised mostly of sad, lonely men who watch [[Sargon of Akkad]] videos in the morning and think that makes them intellectual, and then jack off to Shoe's videos at night, while pretending that what she says is equally valuable, even though it isn't, even with the laughably low bar that other youtube skeptics have set. As of 2021, she coddles the far right.

Whenever anyone dares insult their precious shouwu, or even do nothing at aside from being mentioned by Shoe on twitter (never by name so she can pretend she isn't talking about anyone in particular, even when everyone knows who her tweet is directed at), Shoe's fans will pounce on that person and be mildly annoying. Because, while their rage at anyone insulting their imaginary internet girlfriend burns with the power of a million suns, the fans themselves are incompetent and can only retaliate by giving videos about her dislikes and leaving mean comments, making them perfect targets to be baited and trolled. The only people Shoe's fans CAN go up against and win are easily triggered teenage feminists, mentally ill army vets, elderly women June find online, and small children. Even though, even when they attacked a young girl for pointing out June abuses her bunny, they weren't able to actually scare her.

==June and Pregory break up==

As of mid 2020 it was announced that June and Pregory are no longer dating. A 5 year relationship down the drain. LOL. Pregory totally dominated Shoe in every way, whether it was in the bedroom and their lifestyle and just in general. Pregory totally won that.

==June's Ideological Snafus==

June's biggest consistency is her inconsistency. She has yet to cogently explain her ideology and what she actually believes, surprising literally no one under the Sun. On one hand, she claims to be a far leftist and recently a Huey Long superfan, but is also extremely soft on right-wingers and tries to cater to those that are still left over from the 2016 anti-SJW days. Her friendship with Lauren Southern is one hallmark example of this. The bitch can't make up her mind LOL. Shoe doesn't seem to take policy seriously, but can you really blame her when humanity and namely, the USA, is pretty much fucked? Might as well mindlessly make memes of it instead of actually using her power as a commentator to make meaningful change. I am not saying no memes, but commentators are supposed to ya know, comment. Instead, she just offers vanilla, surface-level takes that can be debunked in 5 minutes. Sad state of affairs.

==June: A Summary Of Fail==

Despite being the most successful skeptic channel with 1.1 million subscribers, June IRL has still been a total failure. From the fact that she still lives with her parents at 27, her failure as a film student, her lack of a genuine ideology or set of beliefs, her multiple failed attempts at e-fame, various forums that have exposed her, [[Shoe0nhead|this article]], Venti's two videos where she absolutely owns Shoe and the cherry on top of the shit sundae: her co-dependent, loveless relationship where she is the sub and cuck to manchild, [[Armoured Skeptic|Pregory]]; Pregory 4, June 0. June has demonstrated a penchant for failure and being the LOLcow that she claims to laugh at. Despite being a successful YouTuber, she is still a failcow that has no real belief system and is in reality a pandering, people-pleasing, desperate and duplicitous person with abandonment issues who is so desperate to be liked that she is willing to pander to the lowest of the low, neckbeards. June is a pathetic loser because her YouTube content is shit and asinine with her cringy and contrived “cutesy chick” persona. However, June at least gets credit for having been blessed with a cute face. But still: Reality 12, June 0.

==Images==

{{Collapsegallery|Nudes|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead Nudes 1.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 2.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 3.jpg
File:shoe-on-head-nudes-5.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead confirmed.png
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoenudes 07.jpg|Allegedly her ass
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Dressing/Acting Like a Whore|cg21|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead_nudes_4.png
File:Shoenudes 09.jpg
File:Sh0eOnHead Braceface.jpg
File:Shoenudes 01.png
File:Moreshoepics 01.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Moreshoepics 02.jpg|Her sister
File:Moreshoepics 03.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 04.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 05.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 06.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 09.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 10.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 13.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 14.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 15.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 16.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 17.jpg
File:Shoe-and-mirror.jpg|Proof of one of the pics
File:Last shoe.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Whore gifs|cg3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoenudes 02.gif
File:Shoenudes 03.gif
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File:Moreshoepics 07.gif
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File:Moreshoepics 11.gif
File:Moreshoepics 12.gif
File:Juneshoegif.gif
File:Moreshoeonhead 12.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|"Fan" Art|cg2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:ShoeAndSkeptic.jpg
File:MoarLulzyShoe.jpg
File:Shoefanart 01.jpg
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File:Shoefanart 03.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoefanart 04.png
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File:Moreshoepics 18.png
File:Extrashoe 01.png
File:Extrashoe 02.gif
File:Extrashoe 03.png
File:Extrashoe 04.png
File:Extrashoe 05.png
File:Extrashoe 06.png
File:Extrashoe 07.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Miscellaneous|cg7|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 03.png|Poor high school bullying victim Shoe making fun of fat chicks
File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|Shoe is fat
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg|June "I never had any friends or boyfriends" Lapine
File:Moreshoeonhead 09.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 20.png|lol bald
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Evenmoreshoe 05.png|Shoe runs her own fan twitter account (possibly several)
File:Moreshoeonhead 05.jpg
File:Evenmoreshoe 07.jpg|The daughter June's parents aren't ashamed of because she isn't a failure
File:Moreshoeonhead 06.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg
File:ShoeOnHead 2006 Edgy.png|Still as much attention whore as she was {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}} - 2006}} years ago
File:Junetheloon.jpg|thumb|Part 2
File:JuneFat.jpg|thumb|Plushies can only hide your rolls for so long
File:Coworkers.png|Can't imagine why her coworkers didn't like her.
File:Realhair.png|June used to brag about how long her hair was before coming out about it being a wig.
File:Moreshoeonhead 07.jpg
File:Shoeonheadanimeavatarhater.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

<center><big>'''"Fan" Videos'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|clone wars|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>MdKQQa0Kktc</youtube>
|<youtube>HlloqD2bThs</youtube>
|<youtube>gj3mVNnwRkM</youtube>
|<youtube>urpzaeMxVfs</youtube>
|<youtube>rhz3oXK9294</youtube>
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==See Also==

*[[Boxxy]] - for obvious reasons
*[[GamerGate]]
*[[Armored skeptic]] - Cheating slavemaster boyfriend who owns her
*[[Unichan]] - Stalker community she was a part of
*[[CatieWayne.com]] -Another Boxxy stalking site she may have been on
*[[Lolcow.farm]] - Created this site just to spy on people who gossip about her
*[[Brittany Venti]] - Her successor. Completely devastated June, not once but TWICE, and really opened the floodgates of exposure
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - Blocked him on twitter because he said she's cute
*[[Jenny McDermott]] - Braindead retard
*[[LeafyIsHere]] - she looks like him in a wig... or he looks like her without her wig
*[[The Satiratician]] - Only funny thing June has ever done, and even that was by accident
*[[Ian]] - Believed to have been Junes old hacker friend
*[[Einsidler]] - [[Fanboy|Fanperson]]
*[[Attention Whore]]

==External Links ==

* {{yt|c|UC0aanx5rpr7D1M7KCFYzrLQ|Shoe0nHead}}
* {{yt|c|UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q|Personal channel}} - This one has been hastily deleted ([https://web.archive.org/web/20170720150815/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q Archive])
* {{yt|u|shoe0ffhead|Shoe0ffHead}} - Every video has been deleted.
* {{twitter|shoe0nhead}}
* {{twitter|MisandryQu33n}}
* {{twitter|yo_juneskii|Old twitter}}
* [http://boxxy.wikispaces.com/June Her Boxxy wiki article]
* {{archive|S6AGy|Archive of an 8chan thread where she allegedly tried to white knight herself}}
* [https://archive.org/details/youtube-WzwD4T_PV_U Archive of video she deleted]
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=creator%3A%22June+Smith%22 Another archive]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090325064513/https://myspace.com/notthebrightestofthebunch Archive of her old LiveJournal]
* [http://chan.catiewayne.com/m/res/3016.html A thread on another Boxxy stalking site about June]
* {{fb|nikki.lasagnaa|Old facebook}}
* {{fb|oliver.doop.3|Stupid fan page she made for another one}}
* {{fb|ollie.doop|She made at least one more of these}}
* {{myspace|juneskii|Old Myspace}}
* [http://206.223.147.214/shoe0nhead/res/82.html Collection of deleted videos]
* {{dauser|s0upy|Her old DA account}}
* [http://ian-iansblogblogspotcom.blogspot.co.il/2011/08/that-90s-show-is-fail.html Review of her awful "show"]
* {{youtube|9nJa1xfV48w|Shoe blocks other youtuber for making a joke at her}}
* [http://www.formspring.me/juneskii Hastily deleted old forumspring]
* {{instagram|juneskii|Old Instagram}}
* {{Instagram|junelapine|Another old Instagram}}
* {{instagram|shoe0nhead|Current Instagram}}
* {{Soundcloud|s0upy|Her awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|juneskii|Her other awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|shoe0nhead|Her THIRD awful SoundCloud}}
* {{myspace|yo_juneskii|Her MySpace}}
* {{myspace|obeast_man_321|Friend's myspace}}
* {{myspace|junexx|Her sister's MySpace}}
* {{instagram|saruh_michelle|Sister's Instagram}}
* {{fb|sarah.laporta.5|Sister's Facebook}}
* [https://meritpages.com/laporta sister's meritpage]
* [https://ask.fm/shoeqanda Another ask.fm]
* [https://shoe0nhead.blogspot.ca Her shitty blog]

'''June's Endless Collection of Abandoned YT Accounts:'''

'''90's Show Shit''' 
* {{yt|u|90sShowLoca|90sShowLoca}}
* {{yt|u|THAT90sCHANNEL|THAT90sCHANNEL}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowGillz|90sShowGillz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowJames|90sShowJames}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowShortz|90sShowShortz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowSarah|90sShowSarah}}
* {{yt|u|JAFSvideos|JAFSvideos}}
* {{twitter|90sshowloca|Show's twitter}}
* [http://that90sshow.weebly.com/characters.html Show's website]

'''Other'''

* {{yt|u|xjunesVlogx|xjunesVlogx}}
* {{yt|c|UC6PXKhzWTKGuLU7qQJsnoag|hosowa}}
* {{yt|u|galaxxygal|galaxxygal}}
* {{yt|u|kikichanXD|kikichanXD}}
* {{yt|u|NikkiNarcoticxxx|NikkiNarcoticxxx}}
* {{yt|u|BoopyJuneVlogs|BoopyJuneVlogs}}
* {{yt|u|itsjuneskiibroskii|itsjuneskiibroskii}}
* {{yt|u|HalloSoupy|HalloSoupy}}
* {{yt|u|WTFisANupload|WTFisANupload}}
* {{yt|u|LOLBUNNEHS|LOLBUNNEHS}}
* {{yt|c|UCdZec7vEex5N0FGYfDP3eyQ|June la porta}}
* {{yt|c|UCIYE5tSuk49aAXnrZObMVVw|bun0nhead}}
* {{yt|c|UCR-SCdcKWeZOnCddApH1zdg|misandryqu33n}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1pOHjcHlyJsFu7O2hsERsqWUXtDJl9Ca Playlist of old videos]
* There are probably a million more

{{Portals|youtube|whores}}
{{GamerGate}}
{{Sektur}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 14 & 15, [[2017]]|[[Very proud to be an asian]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[HWNDU]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 26 & 27, [[2018]]|[[Armored Skeptic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Totalbiscuit]]}}

[[Category:People]]

Shoe0nHead

2026-06-08T18:55:56Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

{{gotis}}

{{quote|So RationalWiki is a biased website. It is biased and they even acknowledge the fact that they are biased. They are like Encyclopedia fucking Dramatica.|Dropped0nHead|Just for comparing us to RW you deserve [[rape|this article.]]}}

[[File:Shoeonheadnomakeup.png|thumb|What June wants her orbiters to think she looks without makeup. Note the eyebrows, eyeliner, and foundation.]]
[[File:Shoe0nhead bald.jpg|thumb|What she'll look like if she reads this article]]

:''Were you looking for the shitty meme'' '''''"[[Put Shoe On Head]]"''''' ''?'' - ''Why? Is it 2006 again?'' 
:''Were you looking for'' '''''[[K-hate|our own ShoeOnHead]]''''' ''?'' - ''Again, why?'' 

'''Shoe0nHead''' (AKA '''[[Powerword|June Nicole La Porta]]''' or '''Lapine''' because it's [[French]] for bunny and she's so soft and cute uwu) is a {{age|1991|6|22}} year old failed film student, and S&M submissive fetishist that still lives with her parents, after having dropped out and given up on filmmaking due to having zero talent, and is now unemployed and getting by on handouts from fellow losers on [[youtube]]. She is basically the Wile E. Coyote of the skeptic community.

Prior to this, she spent nearly 8 years desperately trying to become internet famous by whoring for the attention of horny virgins online and posting nudes on [[4chan]], before stumbling onto a community of [[boxxy]] stalkers whose userbase worshipped at her feet, while she acted as their cum-rag by being a full-time boxxy's lookalike, until they stole her nudes and she left.

She then had another one of her orbiters create [[lolcow.farm]] as a honeypot to obsessively stalk people who gossiped about her for over a year, then changed her entire personality again and disappeared for a year, reemerging during [[GamerGate]] to finally find "success" in the form of an audience of fedora-wearing MRAs that cream their pants at the idea of a cute-ish girl (they don't know she's bald) who hates feminism, even if she hasn't made a single intelligent argument in any of her videos (even by YT [[skeptic]]'s standards).

Today June continues to waste her life, making 1 video every 2 months in the lowest possible quality, as she laughs at how pathetic her fanbase is, sells them out to a company that used them as practice targets for a self-teaching censorship bot, harasses mentally disabled people on twitter, blocks anyone who disagrees with her and plans to marry a {{age|1984|8|11}} year old, morbidly obese, manchild divorcee and youtuber, who cheated on his wife with her (and like 10 other girls), and who she cheated on her boyfriend with, who now openly cheats on her as well, as her fans continue to jerk off while thinking about her and then pay her to cuck them with some other guy, that then cucks her in return.

__TOC__

[[File:Lastshoe.png|1000px|center]]

==June on Unichan - Obsessive Boxxy Stalker==

Before being known as "Shoe0nHead", June was a known internet thot who would spam 4chan with her nudes. This until she discovered "[[Unichan]]", a community of psychotic [[Boxxy]] stalkers who were infamous for hacking Boxxy's computer, driving Boxxy into hiding and [[doxing]] her again to then show up at the house she was hiding from them in like a bunch of serial killers.

There June finally found "fame" due to her resemblance to Boxxy, and began acting as her clone for the sad nerds on the forum to jerk off to. This continued for some time until she made the mistake of agreeing to hang out [[IRL]] with the multiple men she had been leading on for years while already dating one of them behind their back. [[Almost Raped|You would expect this to end with her getting raped, but no such luck.]] Instead, one of the fat fucks she rejected, spurred by his dream of fucking someone who looks like boxxy being shattered, stole her phone when she was in the shower and took pictures of her screen while viewing her photo gallery full of nudes.

After June and her psychopaths returned home, her nudes were dropped on Unichan, alongside the fact she was as slut who is already fucking one of them, and the entire board of heartbroken autistics began openly gossiping and making fun of her, forcing her to leave.

[[File:Evenmoreshoe 06.png|center|800px]]

====June Creates [[lolcow.farm]] to Spy on Her Stalkers====
[[File:History of june.png|thumb|250px|June confirmed this true without realizing people can [[screencap]] on [[Discord]]]]
Outraged, June had another one of her beta orbiters, a hacker from the site who was famous for hacking Boxxy's computer and was clearly in love with Wig0nHead, create an infamous /[[cow/]] knockoff, called "lolcow.farm", just as some of the many Boxxy stalker sites she was involved in were having trouble staying online. She then got its userbases to migrate to her new board so that she and the poor sap who she got to do this for her could spent the next '''FUCKING YEAR AND SOME CHANGE''' watching every thread about her like a hawk, trying to smoke out who was talking about her by looking at their IP addresses.

In the end, June gave up and her "friend", who she no longer had a reason to pretend to like, gave the site to someone else and moved on with his life. 
Ironically, lolcow.farm still exists to this day and continues to be the #1 place online to go laugh at how pathetic its own creator really is.

{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Moreshoeonhead 02.jpg|800|400|}}|border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}}
<center>'''"Love letters" exchanged between June and the sad loser she duped into wasting a year of his life stalking internet strangers for her'''</center>

{{clear}}

====Additional Gossip from lolcow====

Another story that illustrates how duplicitous and attention hungry Dropped0nHead is, is a rumor about her one-sided relationship with some [https://twitter.com/robkaufmanlive guy named "Rob"], who was a local celebrity that June briefly developed a crush on. So what did she do? Change her entire personality from "KRAZY AND RANDOM XD CLONE OF BOXXXXY June" to "Mega Edgelord June - The Nigger Hater" to impress him, and then lured the lovesick sadsacks from Unichan onto his local access show so he can abuse and laugh at her "friends" with her on live air.

[[File:Lastshoe2.png|1100px|center]]

====June Leave her Black Boyfriend to Stay Popular with Internet Nazis====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 01.gif|thumb|right|220px|June will suck the dick of literally anyone as long as he's tall enough.]]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKCW59ZXJj8 As mentioned, June was able to find herself a boyfriend on Unichan, named "Andrew".] There were only 2 problems:

#He wasn't an e-fame hungry failure like she was.
#He was black.

Having at long last gained the attention she so desperately craved from [[GamerGate]] [[nazi]]s, and combined with the fact that her boyfriend had an apartment, job, was going to school and was trying to get her to grow up and move out of her mom and dad's house instead of staying at home all day and trying get popular online, June dumped her boyfriend so that she'd stop getting flack from /pol/tards about him being black, and in the future would describe their relationship as "Abusive" (ie: him trying to make her act like an adult) as "abusive". Which makes sense, because that's the same way she described her current boyfirend's relationship with his ex wife (who he cheated on with her while she was still dating the nigger) because she wouldn't let him play with toys.

{{Collapsegallery|Shoe the Racist|cg8|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Evenmoreshoe 01.png|June thinks [[fact|black people are stupid.]]
File:Evenmoreshoe 02.png|June would never say "Nigger"! (aside from the many times she did)
File:Evenmoreshoe 04.png|The only people who catcall are "[[niggers|Ghetto Trash]]"
File:Evenmoreshoe 08.jpg|June drawing swastikas on the beach
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoe0nheadisamudshark.png|center|700px]]

June is still butthurt about this and will {{hover|block|black}} anyone who brings it up.

==June - The fakest bitch alive==

One thing that June's fans don't know about her is: Everything. 
June is the fakest person you will ever encounter, lying about every single thing about herself and completely changing her entire personality at the drop of a hat to please whoever it is that is showering her with [[attention]] at the moment. Right now June is playing the shy, insecure, nerdy [[gamer girl]] who hates feminism to her audience to keep them paying her, while pretending to be a bisexual DDLG fetishist for her boyfriend, so that she can justify to herself letting him treat her like shit and allowing him to fuck other chicks in "threesomes" that she only participates in for his enjoyment because she's too scared he will leave her like he did his wife who wouldn't let him cheat.

<big>'''Things Shoe0nHead has Lied About'''</big>
[[File:Evenmoreshoe 03.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Old friend from Unichan reminisces about have fake and crazy June was]]

'''Personal Life:''' In the past, June has claimed to have been a [[goth]], shy, friendless nerd in high school that got bullied. However, in old videos she forgot to delete she happily admits to being a bully herself. Pictures of her prove she was never a goth and other videos show that both her claim that she had no friends or only guy friend are lies as well.

'''Appearance:''' Shoe constantly lies about her height, weight, measurements and wears a wig and 7 tons of makeup to hide the fact she's bald and has the skin of a leper. There's even a theory about her having had a boob job and her photoshopping pictures of herself to make her hips wider/slimmer depending on how fat/malnourished she is at the moment.

'''Internet History:''' Shoe will sometimes pretend she never even went to 4chan in her life, but people who know her from way back know she was a camwhore on [[b|/b/]] and went through a /pol/ phase when she was trying to impress some guy, then had her friend create lolcow.farm and allegedly still lurks [[8chan]] and gets caught white knighting herself there from time to time.

'''Romantic Life:''' June has claimed to have had 0 boyfriends, only 1 boyfriend, only 2 boyfriends, multiple boyfriends, being a kissless virgin until the age of 21, 15 and 13 and having had multiple sexual relationship. All depending on what crowd she's pandering to now.

'''Political Views:''' Liberal, libertarian, left libertarian, unaffiliated, June can be anything! Right now she's quickly disavowing her former right wing "friends" and parroting progressive talking points because she's trying to cozy up to [[SJW]]s.

'''Sexuality:''' June has stated she's completely straight, bisexual, "demi-sexual" and....... 30% gay. Right now she's pretending to be bi and reluctantly taking part in threesomes with her husband because its moderately better than just letting him cheat outright, which he will if she doesn't do it, just like he did with his ex wife. She also makes fun of fat people a lot, but fails to bring up the fact she used to be pretty chunky and pretends she thinks Armored Skeptic's morbid obesity is hot.

Even her voice changes depending on who she's talking to and her fucking name is fake.

==June's First Sad Attempt at E-Fame - "That 90's Show"==

After (or before?) being ousted from the Boxxy stalking community, ShoeGivesHead needed a new way to complete her glorious attention quest. Her plan? Create an unfunny "That 70's Show" ripoff inspired by [[Fred]] called "That 90's Show", that was somehow so cringy it made Fred look like Sammy Davis Jr. by comparison (also, the plot begins in 1998, which makes no sense).

Despite only filming 2 episodes and 8 "minisodes", June's [[unwarranted self importance]] was so massive, and her belief that this can somehow be used to propel her into stardom so misguided, that she took a page out of the [[Randy Stair]] playbook and forced her friends to each create their own YT account where they must post ''in character'' at all times (June's character was, of corse, "Loca", the KARAZY WACKY ONE! XDDDD), as well as multiple twitter accounts, ''two'' websites where people can add their own fan characters, and '''a fucking wiki about the show'''. All of this despite the fact they haven't actually produced anything yet and their "show" had no fans.

The show itself was a fucking atrocity. A poorly acted, poorly written, amateurishly filmed shitshow that felt like an asinine cross between "That 70's Show" and "Friends" that was created by a bunch of people who only know what humor even is because they read the word's definition in a dictionary. And since, aside from June, no one actually cared about this, they quickly devolved into posting blooper reels on their channel that no one cared about, uploading their cringy rants about religion, and making promises of future episodes that (thankfully) never came.

All that is now left of this abortion is listed at the bottom of this article. A dozen dead YT accounts, some abandoned sites and twitter accounts, and one review by an obscure blog, which was the only time anyone ever cared about this tire fire, and even then, just to laugh at it.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AU0zFvgNmpw</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==#GamerGate and Current Content==

[[Image:WhatShoeWants.png|thumb|What Shoe0nHead really wants]]

But after giving up on this for a year or two, finally, June's day had come. After years of trying to become e-famous, GamerGate became Shoe's big break. It was perfect, all she needed to do is hide her bald head and regurgitate lame anti-feminist talking points that she heard in other videos but didn't actually understand. And thanks to [[Thunderf00t]] stumbling across her video by mistake and liking it, this earned her the fame she always wanted from an audience of fedora wearing pedophiles who liked her because she looked 16 and said bunch of things they already agreed with. An anti-feminist girl who looks underaged but isn't and who doesn't look like Karen Straughan? She was perfect!

So what if she didn't do any research, never cited her sources, never read her sources and didn't pretend to be an intellectual? Sure, those are things that every other youtube skeptic™ criticizes SJW's for, but Shoe doesn't have to do that because she's a girl and everyone in GamerGate knows that girls are stupid and should be held to a lower standard (but don't call them misogynists!).

So despite her using her laptop mic and a 2$ webcam while others build entire studios. Despite making 4 videos a year while other YT Skeptics upload 3 times a week just to stay relevant. Despite all her videos being the same. Despite knowing and caring so little about the topic she can't even answer basic questions about it. Despite clearly having no respect for her audience. Despite '''not even playing video games'''. Despite her videos having awful editing, horrible lighting, horrendous audio spikes, are in 480p, and every other thing that makes it seems it is the first video on YouTube in 2009. Despite ALL of this, Shoe currently has '''the biggest and most successful YT skeptic channel''' just by virtue of being a girl. Which really show how worthy the entire community and audience is of being taken seriously.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>V58epBZisoE</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>AU0zFvgNmpw

====How to Make a Shoe Video====

#cover bald spot
#read buzzfeed article
#Stop every 2 minutes to say:
*"Kill me"
*"End my life"
*"What even is this?"

Upload as is and you're done.

Hilariously, despite the fact she puts in 0 effort, she has the nerve to talk shit about other youtuber in her circle like [[Bearing]], saying they're bullies who make lazy content and go after low hanging fruit. This after she herself has regularly had her followers bully fat chicks, elderly people, teenagers, crazy trannies (except her crazy tranny friends, of course), and one mentally disabled guy.

==Armored Skeptic - June's (<s>married</s> now divorced) boyfriend==

'''[[Armored Skeptic]]''' is June's cheating, morbidly obese fiance with an extra chromosome (this is not a joke). He met her online during GamerGate while he was hitting on every single woman he interacted with to add to the harem of women he was cheating on his wife with. Their dynamic solidified when they were in a Google hangout with [[Sargon of Akkad]],and flirted with each other in a cringy manner for 2 fucking hours making poor 'ole Sargon a would-be 3rd wheel. Shoe, who herself had a boyfriend at the time, was receptive to this and joined his brothel of potential sluts that included [[Jenny McDermott]], who he would also flirt with, several women he was fucking behind his wife's back and one woman who was dying of brain cancer and Greg was able to fuck thanks to her diminishing mental faculties and was then forced to continue to pretend to care about until she dies so that he wouldn't look bad for breaking up with a woman dying of cancer.

Growing more and more tired of Gregory's constantly sleeping around, his wife briefly used his accounts to contact his whores and tell them to to stop talking to her husband, but then she just divorced him. Later screenshots of June's Discord would be leaked where she describes Greg's wife as abusive '''because she would hide his toys and get mad at him for wasting all their money on Star Wars merchandise like a fucking child.'''

Gregory came out as the grand winner of this ordeal, and June came out the loser because now he has a mentally broken sex slave that lets him cheat on her and whose popularity he can use to continue to believe he can turn his youtube channel into a media empire one day, even though the only reason anyone subscribes to him is because they masturbate to pictures of his girlfriend. Pregory 1, June 0.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>6E2RVSMZ4dg</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

====June the Cuck====

With both of them broken up, they were free to initiate a pathetic, co-dependent relationship. Shoe now lives as Greg's long distance slave (because even though they have the money he refuses to let her live with him or she might catch him cheating). They are in a "24/7 BDSM relationship" that June constantly brags about online to convince herself that him cheating and mistreating her is just part of their "kink" and exposes June for the desperate loser doormat that she is. To further cope with the fact that her future husband openly flirts with camgirls on Twitter, June convinced herself that she's actually bisexual so that she could at least join in when Greg fucks other girls and pretend it's a threesome and not just cheating. This is another big win for Greg because he can use his bitch's serious abandonment issues to get her to have threesomes with him and random chicks he stalks online. Pregory 2, June 0.

{{Collapsegallery|The "June Gets Cucked" Collection|cg6|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cuckjune 02.jpg|June and Grug are "Poly"
File:Cuckjune 03.png|June "would have shared" her boyfriend (as if he's asking... but there's enough of his fat ass to go around)
File:Cuckjune 04.jpg|Greg flirting with whores on twitter
File:Cuckjune 05.png|Believed to be talking about Greg
File:Cuckjune 06.jpg|Greg flirting with twitter thots again
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Cuckjune 08.png|June learns what a "Cuck" is
File:Cuckjune 07.png|June realizes she's being cucked
File:Cuckjune 09.png|Canadian BDSM dating profile that seems to be Greg's
File:Cuckjune 10.jpg|Collage of camwhore accounts June's boyfriend followed on twitter and regularly tries to fuck
File:Cuckjune 11.png|Account by a woman claiming she had a threesome with them
File:Moreshoeonhead 11.png|Greg told chick he was single when he was married and let some of them believe they're in a relationship with him
File:Moreshoeonhead 13.png|Despite always cheating, Greg lost his shit when he thought June was trying to fuck Jeff Holiday
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

The hypocrisy of all of this is, of course, stunning, because, while Greg forces her to let him cheat or sleep with women for his enjoyment, he refuses to be part of a 2 man threesome for her and lost his fucking mind when he thought Jeff Holiday was trying to fuck her after he was friendly to her for half a minute at a fucking charity event, sending multiple people to DM him, demanding he not talk to his girlfriend, which Holiday publicly laughed at. All of this solidifies and reinforces the fact that Pregory ain't shit either, but more importantly that June is a deeply, deeply insecure person with extremely low self esteem. The fact that she is willing to put up with Greg's adultery by being his [[cuck]] and submitting to his every whim in order to satisfy him and thus not be abandoned by him shows just how pathetic and weak June really is.

====June and Greg - would-be pedophiles====

But the creepiest shit about their "relationship" is how fucking close it is to pedophilia. The fact that their sex lives revolve around a fetish where June pretends to be a little girl and calls Greg "Daddy" is bad enough, but add to that the fact that June acts like a child, talks like a child, dresses like a child, thinks like a child and looks so much like a child that Greg had to go out of his way to explain to people that she's actually an adult. Although, she's still so immature that he actually had to ask her parents for permission to fuck her. And this is clearly not all a coincidence, since June herself has said that Greg would leave her if her childlike measurements ever change. None of this is helped by June defending pedophiles online and Greg liking cartoon loli porn on twitter. It must be truly agonizing for June to have such mind-bogglingly low self-esteem where she stays with a man that does not love and respect her truly, and obeys said man to the umpteenth degree.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Pedo June 01.jpg|Greg thing [[loli]] costumes are hot
File:Pedo June 02.png|June thinks it's okay for men (Gregory) to want to fuck underaged girls
File:Cuckjune 01.png|Pregory likes [[Shadman]]'s cartoon [[CP]] on twitter
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoeonheadpedosidekink.jpg|center|370px]]

However, this isn't completely one-sided, since Greg's underdeveloped mind make him an overgrown baby himself, which is why, despite having already bankrupt himself once, his house is still filled to the brim with the same [[Star Wars]] toys his ex wife had to hide from him and divorce him because he wouldn't stop buying them. What a very sad [[Brett Keane|individual]].

But please don't imply that Greg is a pedo or else he might threaten to sue you like he did Jenny McDormatt.

==Candid - June and Greg Sell out Entire Skeptic Community for a few Shekels==

{{:BeCandid/nav}}

The [[Candid]] app was a scam website that signed paid promotion deals with youtube anti feminists, where it promoted itself as a "free speech" website, as part of a ploy to use their audience to train its automated censorship bot to be better at banning people who criticize feminism and things it just didn't like. And while many people fell for it, Shoe and Greg were the only ones who openly shilled for this website, even after they learned what the site was doing.

The full story is that this company, that already had a history of running scams and was openly run by SJWs, approached a number of "Skeptic" youtubers, who were so good at being skeptical that they signed the contract without looking into who they were entering into a binding, contractual relationship with, or even actually reading what they were signing to see that it included a 3 year NDA. The only person to realize what was going on was [[Harmful Opinions]], who exposed what they were doing. In response, Candid's own CEO doxed HO's mom and threatened her, as well as Mark Kern, who was talking online about its security vulnerabilities, both of whom were friends of Shoe and Greg up until that point.

In response, Shoe made a second video, claiming she wasn't under contract, and then '''deleted that video''' and made a second video '''promoting this website again''' even though, at this point, '''she already knew the company doxed two of her friends and was a scam to censor everyone in her friend circle.''' She then TOOK OVER GREG'S ACCOUNT and put word filters on it (without asking him), to censor everyone talking about what she did. This also means that she was either lying in her first video when she said she wasn't under contract, or she was telling the truth and then signed ''a new contract'', knowingly selling out everyone she knows for some quick cash.

Armored Skeptic took this a step further and '''{{ytlink|X8mEihrhS34|accepted money from Candid's CEO to make an attack video about Harmful Opinions.}}''' The saga eventually concluded when HO was proven to be 100% CORRECT and the site was shut down less than a year later and the bot was (thankfully) sold to Uber and not someone who could actually use it. HO's account was then mysteriously hacked immediately after this, and all videos about the topic wwere deleted. Meanwhile, Shoe and Greg can't even talk about it because they're still under an NDA, and yet still hypocritically complain about internet censorship, when they themselves were more than happy to potentially contribute to it for a few bucks.

And the cherry on top is that "Undoomed", a youtuber that, much like [[Bearing]], Shoe once criticized for being stupid, was the only "Skeptic" who was smart enough to read his contract before signing it and negotiate out of the NDA clause.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg10|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 1.PNG|200px|thumb|center|the concept of hypocrisy is lost on Greg
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 2.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June admits what she did
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 3.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June needs permission to speak but not to systematically censor people
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 4.PNG|200px|thumb|center|what everyone is thinking
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 5.png|200px|thumb|center|more maturity from Greg
Moreshoeonhead 18.png|Shoe admits what she did to HO, but still doesn't tell Greg
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==June Bullies a Mentally Disabled War Vet==
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|thumb|300px|Shoe's panicked DM's to HeHeSilly, begging him do something about the guy exposing her being a psycho]]
Whenever June needs validation, she has her fans bully random people she finds online, like a 50 year old Radfem with 500 subs she stumbled on one day. But sometimes the elderly are not enough for her and she has to go after homeless veterans with PTSD.

Such was the case with [https://www.bitchute.com/channel/lou_plisken/ one paranoid schizophrenic] with a gang-stalking obsession, who made somewhere in the ballpark of 20 videos claiming Shoe was a woman named "Sue" who was a girl that Armored kidnapped as a child and raised to be his slave in an international cat-fishing conspiracy that was planning to murder him. The man was obviously crazy, homeless, living out of his van and eating out of trash cans. But this didn't stop June from making multiple tweets pretending that she actually WAS "Sue" to scare this poor invalid.

She was soon called out by a twitter account that reposts "HeHeSillyComics" strips for being a fucking sociopath. June argued that she did nothing wrong and instead went crying to the person who makes HeHeSillyComics to tell him to shut this guy up. In the end, the guy running the account apologized (perhaps being forced by the comic's creator), and they both deleted all tweets related to this, after which the homeless guy Shoe was bullying, scared for his life, deleted his channel.

But the internet [http://archive.is/rE1e5 never] [http://archive.is/nuncj forgets.]

[[File:Moreshoeonhead 14.png|center|800px]]

==June Animorphs Into an SJW==

It's been a while and GamerGate nerds are no longer giving June enough attention, although if it wasn’t for being buddy-buddy with YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, and larger channels like Sargon of Akkad and Blaire White, Shoe0nHead probably would’ve remained a smaller channel that quickly fade into irrelevance after the GamerGate era ended. Nonetheless: Time to expand! And to do that she needs to change her entire personality again and throw more people under the bus with this simple, 3 part plan:

====Step 1: Break off friendships with incel conservatives and befriend violent leftist====

After years of insisting that their differing political views don't preclude them maintaining a friendship, June did to [[Lauren Southern]] exactly what she did to her black boyfriend Andrew when too many people were threatening to stop giving her attention, and threw her to the dogs in a moronic public statement.

A statement that she retracted hours later when she realized her cost/benefit analysis was off and she was losing more suckups with this move than she was gaining. She also took the time shortly prior to inform people that she no longer finds [[Steve Crowter|Steve Crowder]] funny because his dressing up as women all the time is offensive to her precious trannies or something.

Interestingly, despite her and Lauren now "going in different paths", June's paths seem to be converging with people like Shaun and Jen, a guy who said it's okay to kill right wingers because they aren't human, and ContraPoint who, in his video about "free speech", turned directly to the camera to threaten Dave Rubin in a hilarious attempt to intimidate him into not hosting conservatives on his show anymore.

Sadly for June, Contra at least has enough dignity not to acknowledge she even exists.

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 19.jpg|center|400px]]

<center>'''"I'm nyot fwiends with Steven Cwowdew anymowe uwu!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 24.jpg|center|600px]]

<center>'''"Wauwen Southew is a big poopy head 0W0!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

|}

====Step 2: Become an ill-informed trans crusader====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 15.jpg|thumb|right|300px|June - Two faced as usual]]

But it isn't enough for June to just suck Contra's cock online. No, June has taken to defending "trans right" with the same intellectual vigor she did anti-feminism. Just like with every other topic she comments on, June did zero research and decided that, after years of making fun of [[Transtrender]]s like [[Milo Stewart]] and [[Riley Dennis]], she no longer believes that Transtrenders are a thing and instead thinks that Milo and Riley are legit trannies because they started taking hormones (rather than two impressionable teenagers that are causing their bodies irreparable damage and giving themselves cancer with unnecessary HRT just to fit in with some clique).

Now June blindly defends any position that "supports" transgenders, thinks that calling transgenderism a mental illness is something only bigots do (even though that's literally what it is), and made it her new hobby online to fight with TERFS on twitter. She doesn't actually understand what she's defending or why. All she knows is that her making fun of trannies made them feel bad uwu and that this trumps all scientific facts, an attitude she used to cringily refer to as "feels over realz".

By doing this, June is perpetuating and attitude that is leading countless people who aren't transgender to undergo needless and permanent treatments, actual transgenders to pump their bodies full of cancerous chemicals when they could be cured with therapy, and generally leading more and more transgenders (real or not) to end up committing suicide... In other words: '''SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB AND SHOULD KEEP IT UP!'''

{{approve|using your ignorance and spinelessness to help drive trannies to suicide!}}

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg11|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 25.png|"This mental illness is not a mental illness and anyone who uses facts is a bigot!"
File:Moreshoeonhead 17.jpg|Her transformation is complete! Here she is telling someone [[Dave Chappelle]]'s tranny jokes aren't jokes because they hurt her feeling and because she says so
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

====Step 3: BLOCK EVERYONE====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 16.png|thumb|left|200px|Irony]]
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 21.gif|thumb|right|200px|More irony]]
After years of mocking [[Steve Shives]] for blocking people who make fun of him and people he never talked to because they might make fun of him, as well as taking screencaps of people who block her on twitter for her fans to laugh at, recently June has become so block-happy that people on lolcow.farm turned it into a game to see who can get blocked by her the fastest (just like people used to do with Steve). In the past she used to backpedal and say she only makes fun of Steve because he blocks people before they even tweeted at him (which isn't true), but as of 5/17/2018, the record for fastest shoe block changed from "under one minute" to "under one attosecond", as June has began blocking people who never talked to her because she saw them making fun of when when talking to someone else.

After [[Brittany Venti]] made a video about what a cunt she is (shown above), June took a prolonged "twitter break" that is actually being spent stalking ol' slug-face-brit's twitter and blocking anyone who mentions her video.

Interestingly, there's is a rumor that Pregory propositioned Venti as well.

'''How to get blocked by June:'''

*Tell her she's wrong about something
*Tell her that the Skeptic/Anti Sjw genre on youtube is dead
*say ANYTHING negative about the skeptic community
*Make fun of her wig. Seriously, any mention of her being bald or wearing wigs is an insta-block
*Make any remark towards her that's not covered in uwu and glitter (She'll block you whether malicious or not, she even does this to her fans)
*Bring up her past of bullying
*Bring up current instances of her bullying
*Bring up her black ex boyfriend
*Make a joke at her she doesn't understand (that's how Cognitive Thought got blocked)
*Remind her that [[truth|trans women are not real women]]
*[[Money|Ask why she cared about GamerGate when she hates video games]]
*Be friends with Venti
*Bring up her past of posting her shitty nudes online
*Call out her hypocrisy

Seriously, you don't even need to @ her to get blocked. She searches her name on twitter 24/7. She even searches variants of her name, like "shoe". [[batshit insane|That's right, Shoe0nHead sifts through thousands of posts on twitter under the search "shoe" so she can find people talking shit about her and block them.]] [[HAHAHA OH WOW|She'll even block people for following someone she doesn't like.]]

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 22.png|center|400px]]

<center>'''Shot'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 23.png|center|450px]]

<center>'''Chaser'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|}

==June Vs. Venti==
[[File:Shoe waistline.jpg|thumb|right|300px|is preggory the smol one now?]]

After the Lauren Southern incident, infamous streaming whore [[Brittany Venti]] decided to fuck with Shoe a little to show everyone how fake she is by making a video exposing her. June's immediate response to this was to "take a break" from the internet for two weeks by hiding away in her Discord with her legion of <s>cocksuckers</s> pussy lickers, and occasionally talk shit about Venti, not realizing that trolls are right there with her, screen-capping everything she says.

Meanwhile, Venti did not sit idly by and went on several streams talking more shit about shoe and doing an interview with one of her former friends (the aforementioned "Rob"), who went on her stream to try to defend her, but only ended up admitting that she's fake and that she lied about the age she lost her virginity, unless you count sucking an entire ocean of dicks as being a virgin. This is starting to sound like something written by an untalented fat hack that every pretentious film student, like June, would slob over.
<center><youtube>tpQqH4H_SUQ</youtube></center>

In the meantime, June would pop in and out of her self imposed exile, in her cocoon of sycophants, to block anyone on twitter who makes jokes at her, says anything bad about her, retweets anything Venti says, calls shoe "Shuwu" or "Shoe Shives", talks or follows Venti at all, and even her own fans who are being randomly blocked without understanding why for taking light jabs at her without noticing. When June finally emerged, she wrote a shitty response to the video, lying again, making excuses and ignoring parts she had no answer for.

So Venti made another video.

At the moment Shoe's fans have been able to get Venti's first video taken down from youtube (probably only temporarily) [https://www.bitchute.com/video/mpNB9_GDpuo/ and a copy can be found here.]

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|Venti Town|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>mpNB9_GDpuo</youtube>'''First bideo'''
|<youtube>mWnk4gkMuzw</youtube>'''Second bideo'''
|<youtube>bOehDgPZtwc</youtube>'''Interview with Rob'''
|<youtube>yttKdioMwVU</youtube>'''Deleted Kumite stream'''
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==Someone please call the police to save June's bunny from her==

In spite of her supposed love for bunnies, asking her fans to "send buns" on twitter every time she fucks up and even going so far as to choose an alias that means "Bunny", June's own rabbit is a constant victim of animal abuse.

*June refuses to neuter her bunny, leaving him sexually frustrated and pissing all over her room to the point the smell must be unbearable. She probably can't smell it from all the make-up and glue from her fake hair.
*June’s bunny’s piss at least smells better than June’s icky toejams.
*Feeds him things that bunnies can't properly digest.
*Doesn't own a second bunny to keep it from being lonely, which is considered so cruel that some countries make it illegal.
*Overfeeds it so it looks sickly and morbidly obese.
*Let a cat that is clearly trying to kill it stay in the room all night, staring at her (clearly terrified) bunny in its cage.
*And, worst of all, keeps it in a tiny cage that's meant for hamsters because she's too cheap to buy a bigger one, despite mooching off of her parents.

{{Collapsegallery|Animal Abuse|cg4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoebunny 01.png
File:Shoebunny 02.png
File:Shoebunny 03.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==The Fanbase==

June's fanbase is comprised mostly of sad, lonely men who watch [[Sargon of Akkad]] videos in the morning and think that makes them intellectual, and then jack off to Shoe's videos at night, while pretending that what she says is equally valuable, even though it isn't, even with the laughably low bar that other youtube skeptics have set. As of 2021, she coddles the far right.

Whenever anyone dares insult their precious shouwu, or even do nothing at aside from being mentioned by Shoe on twitter (never by name so she can pretend she isn't talking about anyone in particular, even when everyone knows who her tweet is directed at), Shoe's fans will pounce on that person and be mildly annoying. Because, while their rage at anyone insulting their imaginary internet girlfriend burns with the power of a million suns, the fans themselves are incompetent and can only retaliate by giving videos about her dislikes and leaving mean comments, making them perfect targets to be baited and trolled. The only people Shoe's fans CAN go up against and win are easily triggered teenage feminists, mentally ill army vets, elderly women June find online, and small children. Even though, even when they attacked a young girl for pointing out June abuses her bunny, they weren't able to actually scare her.

==June and Pregory break up==

As of mid 2020 it was announced that June and Pregory are no longer dating. A 5 year relationship down the drain. LOL. Pregory totally dominated Shoe in every way, whether it was in the bedroom and their lifestyle and just in general. Pregory totally won that.

==June's Ideological Snafus==

June's biggest consistency is her inconsistency. She has yet to cogently explain her ideology and what she actually believes, surprising literally no one under the Sun. On one hand, she claims to be a far leftist and recently a Huey Long superfan, but is also extremely soft on right-wingers and tries to cater to those that are still left over from the 2016 anti-SJW days. Her friendship with Lauren Southern is one hallmark example of this. The bitch can't make up her mind LOL. Shoe doesn't seem to take policy seriously, but can you really blame her when humanity and namely, the USA, is pretty much fucked? Might as well mindlessly make memes of it instead of actually using her power as a commentator to make meaningful change. I am not saying no memes, but commentators are supposed to ya know, comment. Instead, she just offers vanilla, surface-level takes that can be debunked in 5 minutes. Sad state of affairs.

==June: A Summary Of Fail==

Despite being the most successful skeptic channel with 1.1 million subscribers, June IRL has still been a total failure. From the fact that she still lives with her parents at 27, her failure as a film student, her lack of a genuine ideology or set of beliefs, her multiple failed attempts at e-fame, various forums that have exposed her, [[Shoe0nhead|this article]], Venti's two videos where she absolutely owns Shoe and the cherry on top of the shit sundae: her co-dependent, loveless relationship where she is the sub and cuck to manchild, [[Armoured Skeptic|Pregory]]; Pregory 4, June 0. June has demonstrated a penchant for failure and being the LOLcow that she claims to laugh at. Despite being a successful YouTuber, she is still a failcow that has no real belief system and is in reality a pandering, people-pleasing, desperate and duplicitous person with abandonment issues who is so desperate to be liked that she is willing to pander to the lowest of the low, neckbeards. June is a pathetic loser because her YouTube content is shit and asinine with her cringy and contrived “cutesy chick” persona. However, June at least gets credit for having been blessed with a cute face. But still: Reality 12, June 0.

==Images==

{{Collapsegallery|Nudes|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead Nudes 1.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 2.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 3.jpg
File:shoe-on-head-nudes-5.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead confirmed.png
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoenudes 07.jpg|Allegedly her ass
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Dressing/Acting Like a Whore|cg21|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead_nudes_4.png
File:Shoenudes 09.jpg
File:Sh0eOnHead Braceface.jpg
File:Shoenudes 01.png
File:Moreshoepics 01.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Moreshoepics 02.jpg|Her sister
File:Moreshoepics 03.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 04.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 05.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 06.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 09.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 10.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 13.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 14.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 15.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 16.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 17.jpg
File:Shoe-and-mirror.jpg|Proof of one of the pics
File:Last shoe.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Whore gifs|cg3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoenudes 02.gif
File:Shoenudes 03.gif
File:Shoenudes 04.gif
File:Shoenudes 05.gif
File:Shoenudes 06.gif
File:Moreshoepics 07.gif
File:Moreshoepics 08.gif
File:Moreshoepics 11.gif
File:Moreshoepics 12.gif
File:Juneshoegif.gif
File:Moreshoeonhead 12.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|"Fan" Art|cg2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:ShoeAndSkeptic.jpg
File:MoarLulzyShoe.jpg
File:Shoefanart 01.jpg
File:Shoefanart 02.png
File:Shoefanart 03.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoefanart 04.png
File:Shoefanart 05.jpg
File:Shoefanart 06.jpg
File:Shoefanart 07.jpg
File:Shoefanart 08.png
File:Shoefanart 09.jpg
File:Shoefanart 10.jpg
File:Shoefanart 12.jpg
File:Shoefanart 11.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 18.png
File:Extrashoe 01.png
File:Extrashoe 02.gif
File:Extrashoe 03.png
File:Extrashoe 04.png
File:Extrashoe 05.png
File:Extrashoe 06.png
File:Extrashoe 07.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Miscellaneous|cg7|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 03.png|Poor high school bullying victim Shoe making fun of fat chicks
File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|Shoe is fat
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg|June "I never had any friends or boyfriends" Lapine
File:Moreshoeonhead 09.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 20.png|lol bald
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Evenmoreshoe 05.png|Shoe runs her own fan twitter account (possibly several)
File:Moreshoeonhead 05.jpg
File:Evenmoreshoe 07.jpg|The daughter June's parents aren't ashamed of because she isn't a failure
File:Moreshoeonhead 06.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg
File:ShoeOnHead 2006 Edgy.png|Still as much attention whore as she was {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}} - 2006}} years ago
File:Junetheloon.jpg|thumb|Part 2
File:JuneFat.jpg|thumb|Plushies can only hide your rolls for so long
File:Coworkers.png|Can't imagine why her coworkers didn't like her.
File:Realhair.png|June used to brag about how long her hair was before coming out about it being a wig.
File:Moreshoeonhead 07.jpg
File:Shoeonheadanimeavatarhater.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

<center><big>'''"Fan" Videos'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|clone wars|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>MdKQQa0Kktc</youtube>
|<youtube>HlloqD2bThs</youtube>
|<youtube>gj3mVNnwRkM</youtube>
|<youtube>urpzaeMxVfs</youtube>
|<youtube>rhz3oXK9294</youtube>
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==See Also==

*[[Boxxy]] - for obvious reasons
*[[GamerGate]]
*[[Armored skeptic]] - Cheating slavemaster boyfriend who owns her
*[[Unichan]] - Stalker community she was a part of
*[[CatieWayne.com]] -Another Boxxy stalking site she may have been on
*[[Lolcow.farm]] - Created this site just to spy on people who gossip about her
*[[Brittany Venti]] - Her successor. Completely devastated June, not once but TWICE, and really opened the floodgates of exposure
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - Blocked him on twitter because he said she's cute
*[[Jenny McDermott]] - Braindead retard
*[[LeafyIsHere]] - she looks like him in a wig... or he looks like her without her wig
*[[The Satiratician]] - Only funny thing June has ever done, and even that was by accident
*[[Ian]] - Believed to have been Junes old hacker friend
*[[Einsidler]] - [[Fanboy|Fanperson]]
*[[Attention Whore]]

==External Links ==

* {{yt|c|UC0aanx5rpr7D1M7KCFYzrLQ|Shoe0nHead}}
* {{yt|c|UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q|Personal channel}} - This one has been hastily deleted ([https://web.archive.org/web/20170720150815/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q Archive])
* {{yt|u|shoe0ffhead|Shoe0ffHead}}
* {{twitter|shoe0nhead}}
* {{twitter|MisandryQu33n}}
* {{twitter|yo_juneskii|Old twitter}}
* [http://boxxy.wikispaces.com/June Her Boxxy wiki article]
* {{archive|S6AGy|Archive of an 8chan thread where she allegedly tried to white knight herself}}
* [https://archive.org/details/youtube-WzwD4T_PV_U Archive of video she deleted]
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=creator%3A%22June+Smith%22 Another archive]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090325064513/https://myspace.com/notthebrightestofthebunch Archive of her old LiveJournal]
* [http://chan.catiewayne.com/m/res/3016.html A thread on another Boxxy stalking site about June]
* {{fb|nikki.lasagnaa|Old facebook}}
* {{fb|oliver.doop.3|Stupid fan page she made for another one}}
* {{fb|ollie.doop|She made at least one more of these}}
* {{myspace|juneskii|Old Myspace}}
* [http://206.223.147.214/shoe0nhead/res/82.html Collection of deleted videos]
* {{dauser|s0upy|Her old DA account}}
* [http://ian-iansblogblogspotcom.blogspot.co.il/2011/08/that-90s-show-is-fail.html Review of her awful "show"]
* {{youtube|9nJa1xfV48w|Shoe blocks other youtuber for making a joke at her}}
* [http://www.formspring.me/juneskii Hastily deleted old forumspring]
* {{instagram|juneskii|Old Instagram}}
* {{Instagram|junelapine|Another old Instagram}}
* {{instagram|shoe0nhead|Current Instagram}}
* {{Soundcloud|s0upy|Her awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|juneskii|Her other awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|shoe0nhead|Her THIRD awful SoundCloud}}
* {{myspace|yo_juneskii|Her MySpace}}
* {{myspace|obeast_man_321|Friend's myspace}}
* {{myspace|junexx|Her sister's MySpace}}
* {{instagram|saruh_michelle|Sister's Instagram}}
* {{fb|sarah.laporta.5|Sister's Facebook}}
* [https://meritpages.com/laporta sister's meritpage]
* [https://ask.fm/shoeqanda Another ask.fm]
* [https://shoe0nhead.blogspot.ca Her shitty blog]

'''June's Endless Collection of Abandoned YT Accounts:'''

'''90's Show Shit''' 
* {{yt|u|90sShowLoca|90sShowLoca}}
* {{yt|u|THAT90sCHANNEL|THAT90sCHANNEL}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowGillz|90sShowGillz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowJames|90sShowJames}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowShortz|90sShowShortz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowSarah|90sShowSarah}}
* {{yt|u|JAFSvideos|JAFSvideos}}
* {{twitter|90sshowloca|Show's twitter}}
* [http://that90sshow.weebly.com/characters.html Show's website]

'''Other'''

* {{yt|u|xjunesVlogx|xjunesVlogx}}
* {{yt|c|UC6PXKhzWTKGuLU7qQJsnoag|hosowa}}
* {{yt|u|galaxxygal|galaxxygal}}
* {{yt|u|kikichanXD|kikichanXD}}
* {{yt|u|NikkiNarcoticxxx|NikkiNarcoticxxx}}
* {{yt|u|BoopyJuneVlogs|BoopyJuneVlogs}}
* {{yt|u|itsjuneskiibroskii|itsjuneskiibroskii}}
* {{yt|u|HalloSoupy|HalloSoupy}}
* {{yt|u|WTFisANupload|WTFisANupload}}
* {{yt|u|LOLBUNNEHS|LOLBUNNEHS}}
* {{yt|c|UCdZec7vEex5N0FGYfDP3eyQ|June la porta}}
* {{yt|c|UCIYE5tSuk49aAXnrZObMVVw|bun0nhead}}
* {{yt|c|UCR-SCdcKWeZOnCddApH1zdg|misandryqu33n}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1pOHjcHlyJsFu7O2hsERsqWUXtDJl9Ca Playlist of old videos]
* There are probably a million more

{{Portals|youtube|whores}}
{{GamerGate}}
{{Sektur}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 14 & 15, [[2017]]|[[Very proud to be an asian]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[HWNDU]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 26 & 27, [[2018]]|[[Armored Skeptic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Totalbiscuit]]}}

[[Category:People]]

Shoe0nHead

2026-06-08T18:55:15Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Necromancxy

{{gotis}}

{{quote|So RationalWiki is a biased website. It is biased and they even acknowledge the fact that they are biased. They are like Encyclopedia fucking Dramatica.|Dropped0nHead|Just for comparing us to RW you deserve [[rape|this article.]]}}

[[File:Shoeonheadnomakeup.png|thumb|What June wants her orbiters to think she looks without makeup. Note the eyebrows, eyeliner, and foundation.]]
[[File:Shoe0nhead bald.jpg|thumb|What she'll look like if she reads this article]]

:''Were you looking for the shitty meme'' '''''"[[Put Shoe On Head]]"''''' ''?'' - ''Why? Is it 2006 again?'' 
:''Were you looking for'' '''''[[K-hate|our own ShoeOnHead]]''''' ''?'' - ''Again, why?'' 

'''Shoe0nHead''' (AKA '''[[Powerword|June Nicole La Porta]]''' or '''Lapine''' because it's [[French]] for bunny and she's so soft and cute uwu) is a {{age|1991|6|22}} year old failed film student, and S&M submissive fetishist that still lives with her parents, after having dropped out and given up on filmmaking due to having zero talent, and is now unemployed and getting by on handouts from fellow losers on [[youtube]]. She is basically the Wile E. Coyote of the skeptic community.

Prior to this, she spent nearly 8 years desperately trying to become internet famous by whoring for the attention of horny virgins online and posting nudes on [[4chan]], before stumbling onto a community of [[boxxy]] stalkers whose userbase worshipped at her feet, while she acted as their cum-rag by being a full-time boxxy's lookalike, until they stole her nudes and she left.

She then had another one of her orbiters create [[lolcow.farm]] as a honeypot to obsessively stalk people who gossiped about her for over a year, then changed her entire personality again and disappeared for a year, reemerging during [[GamerGate]] to finally find "success" in the form of an audience of fedora-wearing MRAs that cream their pants at the idea of a cute-ish girl (they don't know she's bald) who hates feminism, even if she hasn't made a single intelligent argument in any of her videos (even by YT [[skeptic]]'s standards).

Today June continues to waste her life, making 1 video every 2 months in the lowest possible quality, as she laughs at how pathetic her fanbase is, sells them out to a company that used them as practice targets for a self-teaching censorship bot, harasses mentally disabled people on twitter, blocks anyone who disagrees with her and plans to marry a {{age|1984|8|11}} year old, morbidly obese, manchild divorcee and youtuber, who cheated on his wife with her (and like 10 other girls), and who she cheated on her boyfriend with, who now openly cheats on her as well, as her fans continue to jerk off while thinking about her and then pay her to cuck them with some other guy, that then cucks her in return.

__TOC__

[[File:Lastshoe.png|1000px|center]]

==June on Unichan - Obsessive Boxxy Stalker==

Before being known as "Shoe0nHead", June was a known internet thot who would spam 4chan with her nudes. This until she discovered "[[Unichan]]", a community of psychotic [[Boxxy]] stalkers who were infamous for hacking Boxxy's computer, driving Boxxy into hiding and [[doxing]] her again to then show up at the house she was hiding from them in like a bunch of serial killers.

There June finally found "fame" due to her resemblance to Boxxy, and began acting as her clone for the sad nerds on the forum to jerk off to. This continued for some time until she made the mistake of agreeing to hang out [[IRL]] with the multiple men she had been leading on for years while already dating one of them behind their back. [[Almost Raped|You would expect this to end with her getting raped, but no such luck.]] Instead, one of the fat fucks she rejected, spurred by his dream of fucking someone who looks like boxxy being shattered, stole her phone when she was in the shower and took pictures of her screen while viewing her photo gallery full of nudes.

After June and her psychopaths returned home, her nudes were dropped on Unichan, alongside the fact she was as slut who is already fucking one of them, and the entire board of heartbroken autistics began openly gossiping and making fun of her, forcing her to leave.

[[File:Evenmoreshoe 06.png|center|800px]]

====June Creates [[lolcow.farm]] to Spy on Her Stalkers====
[[File:History of june.png|thumb|250px|June confirmed this true without realizing people can [[screencap]] on [[Discord]]]]
Outraged, June had another one of her beta orbiters, a hacker from the site who was famous for hacking Boxxy's computer and was clearly in love with Wig0nHead, create an infamous /[[cow/]] knockoff, called "lolcow.farm", just as some of the many Boxxy stalker sites she was involved in were having trouble staying online. She then got its userbases to migrate to her new board so that she and the poor sap who she got to do this for her could spent the next '''FUCKING YEAR AND SOME CHANGE''' watching every thread about her like a hawk, trying to smoke out who was talking about her by looking at their IP addresses.

In the end, June gave up and her "friend", who she no longer had a reason to pretend to like, gave the site to someone else and moved on with his life. 
Ironically, lolcow.farm still exists to this day and continues to be the #1 place online to go laugh at how pathetic its own creator really is.

{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Moreshoeonhead 02.jpg|800|400|}}|border=pink|background=white|margin=auto}}
<center>'''"Love letters" exchanged between June and the sad loser she duped into wasting a year of his life stalking internet strangers for her'''</center>

{{clear}}

====Additional Gossip from lolcow====

Another story that illustrates how duplicitous and attention hungry Dropped0nHead is, is a rumor about her one-sided relationship with some [https://twitter.com/robkaufmanlive guy named "Rob"], who was a local celebrity that June briefly developed a crush on. So what did she do? Change her entire personality from "KRAZY AND RANDOM XD CLONE OF BOXXXXY June" to "Mega Edgelord June - The Nigger Hater" to impress him, and then lured the lovesick sadsacks from Unichan onto his local access show so he can abuse and laugh at her "friends" with her on live air.

[[File:Lastshoe2.png|1100px|center]]

====June Leave her Black Boyfriend to Stay Popular with Internet Nazis====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 01.gif|thumb|right|220px|June will suck the dick of literally anyone as long as he's tall enough.]]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKCW59ZXJj8 As mentioned, June was able to find herself a boyfriend on Unichan, named "Andrew".] There were only 2 problems:

#He wasn't an e-fame hungry failure like she was.
#He was black.

Having at long last gained the attention she so desperately craved from [[GamerGate]] [[nazi]]s, and combined with the fact that her boyfriend had an apartment, job, was going to school and was trying to get her to grow up and move out of her mom and dad's house instead of staying at home all day and trying get popular online, June dumped her boyfriend so that she'd stop getting flack from /pol/tards about him being black, and in the future would describe their relationship as "Abusive" (ie: him trying to make her act like an adult) as "abusive". Which makes sense, because that's the same way she described her current boyfirend's relationship with his ex wife (who he cheated on with her while she was still dating the nigger) because she wouldn't let him play with toys.

{{Collapsegallery|Shoe the Racist|cg8|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Evenmoreshoe 01.png|June thinks [[fact|black people are stupid.]]
File:Evenmoreshoe 02.png|June would never say "Nigger"! (aside from the many times she did)
File:Evenmoreshoe 04.png|The only people who catcall are "[[niggers|Ghetto Trash]]"
File:Evenmoreshoe 08.jpg|June drawing swastikas on the beach
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoe0nheadisamudshark.png|center|700px]]

June is still butthurt about this and will {{hover|block|black}} anyone who brings it up.

==June - The fakest bitch alive==

One thing that June's fans don't know about her is: Everything. 
June is the fakest person you will ever encounter, lying about every single thing about herself and completely changing her entire personality at the drop of a hat to please whoever it is that is showering her with [[attention]] at the moment. Right now June is playing the shy, insecure, nerdy [[gamer girl]] who hates feminism to her audience to keep them paying her, while pretending to be a bisexual DDLG fetishist for her boyfriend, so that she can justify to herself letting him treat her like shit and allowing him to fuck other chicks in "threesomes" that she only participates in for his enjoyment because she's too scared he will leave her like he did his wife who wouldn't let him cheat.

<big>'''Things Shoe0nHead has Lied About'''</big>
[[File:Evenmoreshoe 03.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Old friend from Unichan reminisces about have fake and crazy June was]]

'''Personal Life:''' In the past, June has claimed to have been a [[goth]], shy, friendless nerd in high school that got bullied. However, in old videos she forgot to delete she happily admits to being a bully herself. Pictures of her prove she was never a goth and other videos show that both her claim that she had no friends or only guy friend are lies as well.

'''Appearance:''' Shoe constantly lies about her height, weight, measurements and wears a wig and 7 tons of makeup to hide the fact she's bald and has the skin of a leper. There's even a theory about her having had a boob job and her photoshopping pictures of herself to make her hips wider/slimmer depending on how fat/malnourished she is at the moment.

'''Internet History:''' Shoe will sometimes pretend she never even went to 4chan in her life, but people who know her from way back know she was a camwhore on [[b|/b/]] and went through a /pol/ phase when she was trying to impress some guy, then had her friend create lolcow.farm and allegedly still lurks [[8chan]] and gets caught white knighting herself there from time to time.

'''Romantic Life:''' June has claimed to have had 0 boyfriends, only 1 boyfriend, only 2 boyfriends, multiple boyfriends, being a kissless virgin until the age of 21, 15 and 13 and having had multiple sexual relationship. All depending on what crowd she's pandering to now.

'''Political Views:''' Liberal, libertarian, left libertarian, unaffiliated, June can be anything! Right now she's quickly disavowing her former right wing "friends" and parroting progressive talking points because she's trying to cozy up to [[SJW]]s.

'''Sexuality:''' June has stated she's completely straight, bisexual, "demi-sexual" and....... 30% gay. Right now she's pretending to be bi and reluctantly taking part in threesomes with her husband because its moderately better than just letting him cheat outright, which he will if she doesn't do it, just like he did with his ex wife. She also makes fun of fat people a lot, but fails to bring up the fact she used to be pretty chunky and pretends she thinks Armored Skeptic's morbid obesity is hot.

Even her voice changes depending on who she's talking to and her fucking name is fake.

==June's First Sad Attempt at E-Fame - "That 90's Show"==

After (or before?) being ousted from the Boxxy stalking community, ShoeGivesHead needed a new way to complete her glorious attention quest. Her plan? Create an unfunny "That 70's Show" ripoff inspired by [[Fred]] called "That 90's Show", that was somehow so cringy it made Fred look like Sammy Davis Jr. by comparison (also, the plot begins in 1998, which makes no sense).

Despite only filming 2 episodes and 8 "minisodes", June's [[unwarranted self importance]] was so massive, and her belief that this can somehow be used to propel her into stardom so misguided, that she took a page out of the [[Randy Stair]] playbook and forced her friends to each create their own YT account where they must post ''in character'' at all times (June's character was, of corse, "Loca", the KARAZY WACKY ONE! XDDDD), as well as multiple twitter accounts, ''two'' websites where people can add their own fan characters, and '''a fucking wiki about the show'''. All of this despite the fact they haven't actually produced anything yet and their "show" had no fans.

The show itself was a fucking atrocity. A poorly acted, poorly written, amateurishly filmed shitshow that felt like an asinine cross between "That 70's Show" and "Friends" that was created by a bunch of people who only know what humor even is because they read the word's definition in a dictionary. And since, aside from June, no one actually cared about this, they quickly devolved into posting blooper reels on their channel that no one cared about, uploading their cringy rants about religion, and making promises of future episodes that (thankfully) never came.

All that is now left of this abortion is listed at the bottom of this article. A dozen dead YT accounts, some abandoned sites and twitter accounts, and one review by an obscure blog, which was the only time anyone ever cared about this tire fire, and even then, just to laugh at it.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AU0zFvgNmpw</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==#GamerGate and Current Content==

[[Image:WhatShoeWants.png|thumb|What Shoe0nHead really wants]]

But after giving up on this for a year or two, finally, June's day had come. After years of trying to become e-famous, GamerGate became Shoe's big break. It was perfect, all she needed to do is hide her bald head and regurgitate lame anti-feminist talking points that she heard in other videos but didn't actually understand. And thanks to [[Thunderf00t]] stumbling across her video by mistake and liking it, this earned her the fame she always wanted from an audience of fedora wearing pedophiles who liked her because she looked 16 and said bunch of things they already agreed with. An anti-feminist girl who looks underaged but isn't and who doesn't look like Karen Straughan? She was perfect!

So what if she didn't do any research, never cited her sources, never read her sources and didn't pretend to be an intellectual? Sure, those are things that every other youtube skeptic™ criticizes SJW's for, but Shoe doesn't have to do that because she's a girl and everyone in GamerGate knows that girls are stupid and should be held to a lower standard (but don't call them misogynists!).

So despite her using her laptop mic and a 2$ webcam while others build entire studios. Despite making 4 videos a year while other YT Skeptics upload 3 times a week just to stay relevant. Despite all her videos being the same. Despite knowing and caring so little about the topic she can't even answer basic questions about it. Despite clearly having no respect for her audience. Despite '''not even playing video games'''. Despite her videos having awful editing, horrible lighting, horrendous audio spikes, are in 480p, and every other thing that makes it seems it is the first video on YouTube in 2009. Despite ALL of this, Shoe currently has '''the biggest and most successful YT skeptic channel''' just by virtue of being a girl. Which really show how worthy the entire community and audience is of being taken seriously.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>V58epBZisoE</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>AU0zFvgNmpw

====How to Make a Shoe Video====

#cover bald spot
#read buzzfeed article
#Stop every 2 minutes to say:
*"Kill me"
*"End my life"
*"What even is this?"

Upload as is and you're done.

Hilariously, despite the fact she puts in 0 effort, she has the nerve to talk shit about other youtuber in her circle like [[Bearing]], saying they're bullies who make lazy content and go after low hanging fruit. This after she herself has regularly had her followers bully fat chicks, elderly people, teenagers, crazy trannies (except her crazy tranny friends, of course), and one mentally disabled guy.

==Armored Skeptic - June's (<s>married</s> now divorced) boyfriend==

'''[[Armored Skeptic]]''' is June's cheating, morbidly obese fiance with an extra chromosome (this is not a joke). He met her online during GamerGate while he was hitting on every single woman he interacted with to add to the harem of women he was cheating on his wife with. Their dynamic solidified when they were in a Google hangout with [[Sargon of Akkad]],and flirted with each other in a cringy manner for 2 fucking hours making poor 'ole Sargon a would-be 3rd wheel. Shoe, who herself had a boyfriend at the time, was receptive to this and joined his brothel of potential sluts that included [[Jenny McDermott]], who he would also flirt with, several women he was fucking behind his wife's back and one woman who was dying of brain cancer and Greg was able to fuck thanks to her diminishing mental faculties and was then forced to continue to pretend to care about until she dies so that he wouldn't look bad for breaking up with a woman dying of cancer.

Growing more and more tired of Gregory's constantly sleeping around, his wife briefly used his accounts to contact his whores and tell them to to stop talking to her husband, but then she just divorced him. Later screenshots of June's Discord would be leaked where she describes Greg's wife as abusive '''because she would hide his toys and get mad at him for wasting all their money on Star Wars merchandise like a fucking child.'''

Gregory came out as the grand winner of this ordeal, and June came out the loser because now he has a mentally broken sex slave that lets him cheat on her and whose popularity he can use to continue to believe he can turn his youtube channel into a media empire one day, even though the only reason anyone subscribes to him is because they masturbate to pictures of his girlfriend. Pregory 1, June 0.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>6E2RVSMZ4dg</youtube>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

====June the Cuck====

With both of them broken up, they were free to initiate a pathetic, co-dependent relationship. Shoe now lives as Greg's long distance slave (because even though they have the money he refuses to let her live with him or she might catch him cheating). They are in a "24/7 BDSM relationship" that June constantly brags about online to convince herself that him cheating and mistreating her is just part of their "kink" and exposes June for the desperate loser doormat that she is. To further cope with the fact that her future husband openly flirts with camgirls on Twitter, June convinced herself that she's actually bisexual so that she could at least join in when Greg fucks other girls and pretend it's a threesome and not just cheating. This is another big win for Greg because he can use his bitch's serious abandonment issues to get her to have threesomes with him and random chicks he stalks online. Pregory 2, June 0.

{{Collapsegallery|The "June Gets Cucked" Collection|cg6|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cuckjune 02.jpg|June and Grug are "Poly"
File:Cuckjune 03.png|June "would have shared" her boyfriend (as if he's asking... but there's enough of his fat ass to go around)
File:Cuckjune 04.jpg|Greg flirting with whores on twitter
File:Cuckjune 05.png|Believed to be talking about Greg
File:Cuckjune 06.jpg|Greg flirting with twitter thots again
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Cuckjune 08.png|June learns what a "Cuck" is
File:Cuckjune 07.png|June realizes she's being cucked
File:Cuckjune 09.png|Canadian BDSM dating profile that seems to be Greg's
File:Cuckjune 10.jpg|Collage of camwhore accounts June's boyfriend followed on twitter and regularly tries to fuck
File:Cuckjune 11.png|Account by a woman claiming she had a threesome with them
File:Moreshoeonhead 11.png|Greg told chick he was single when he was married and let some of them believe they're in a relationship with him
File:Moreshoeonhead 13.png|Despite always cheating, Greg lost his shit when he thought June was trying to fuck Jeff Holiday
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

The hypocrisy of all of this is, of course, stunning, because, while Greg forces her to let him cheat or sleep with women for his enjoyment, he refuses to be part of a 2 man threesome for her and lost his fucking mind when he thought Jeff Holiday was trying to fuck her after he was friendly to her for half a minute at a fucking charity event, sending multiple people to DM him, demanding he not talk to his girlfriend, which Holiday publicly laughed at. All of this solidifies and reinforces the fact that Pregory ain't shit either, but more importantly that June is a deeply, deeply insecure person with extremely low self esteem. The fact that she is willing to put up with Greg's adultery by being his [[cuck]] and submitting to his every whim in order to satisfy him and thus not be abandoned by him shows just how pathetic and weak June really is.

====June and Greg - would-be pedophiles====

But the creepiest shit about their "relationship" is how fucking close it is to pedophilia. The fact that their sex lives revolve around a fetish where June pretends to be a little girl and calls Greg "Daddy" is bad enough, but add to that the fact that June acts like a child, talks like a child, dresses like a child, thinks like a child and looks so much like a child that Greg had to go out of his way to explain to people that she's actually an adult. Although, she's still so immature that he actually had to ask her parents for permission to fuck her. And this is clearly not all a coincidence, since June herself has said that Greg would leave her if her childlike measurements ever change. None of this is helped by June defending pedophiles online and Greg liking cartoon loli porn on twitter. It must be truly agonizing for June to have such mind-bogglingly low self-esteem where she stays with a man that does not love and respect her truly, and obeys said man to the umpteenth degree.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg9|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Pedo June 01.jpg|Greg thing [[loli]] costumes are hot
File:Pedo June 02.png|June thinks it's okay for men (Gregory) to want to fuck underaged girls
File:Cuckjune 01.png|Pregory likes [[Shadman]]'s cartoon [[CP]] on twitter
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

[[File:Shoeonheadpedosidekink.jpg|center|370px]]

However, this isn't completely one-sided, since Greg's underdeveloped mind make him an overgrown baby himself, which is why, despite having already bankrupt himself once, his house is still filled to the brim with the same [[Star Wars]] toys his ex wife had to hide from him and divorce him because he wouldn't stop buying them. What a very sad [[Brett Keane|individual]].

But please don't imply that Greg is a pedo or else he might threaten to sue you like he did Jenny McDormatt.

==Candid - June and Greg Sell out Entire Skeptic Community for a few Shekels==

{{:BeCandid/nav}}

The [[Candid]] app was a scam website that signed paid promotion deals with youtube anti feminists, where it promoted itself as a "free speech" website, as part of a ploy to use their audience to train its automated censorship bot to be better at banning people who criticize feminism and things it just didn't like. And while many people fell for it, Shoe and Greg were the only ones who openly shilled for this website, even after they learned what the site was doing.

The full story is that this company, that already had a history of running scams and was openly run by SJWs, approached a number of "Skeptic" youtubers, who were so good at being skeptical that they signed the contract without looking into who they were entering into a binding, contractual relationship with, or even actually reading what they were signing to see that it included a 3 year NDA. The only person to realize what was going on was [[Harmful Opinions]], who exposed what they were doing. In response, Candid's own CEO doxed HO's mom and threatened her, as well as Mark Kern, who was talking online about its security vulnerabilities, both of whom were friends of Shoe and Greg up until that point.

In response, Shoe made a second video, claiming she wasn't under contract, and then '''deleted that video''' and made a second video '''promoting this website again''' even though, at this point, '''she already knew the company doxed two of her friends and was a scam to censor everyone in her friend circle.''' She then TOOK OVER GREG'S ACCOUNT and put word filters on it (without asking him), to censor everyone talking about what she did. This also means that she was either lying in her first video when she said she wasn't under contract, or she was telling the truth and then signed ''a new contract'', knowingly selling out everyone she knows for some quick cash.

Armored Skeptic took this a step further and '''{{ytlink|X8mEihrhS34|accepted money from Candid's CEO to make an attack video about Harmful Opinions.}}''' The saga eventually concluded when HO was proven to be 100% CORRECT and the site was shut down less than a year later and the bot was (thankfully) sold to Uber and not someone who could actually use it. HO's account was then mysteriously hacked immediately after this, and all videos about the topic wwere deleted. Meanwhile, Shoe and Greg can't even talk about it because they're still under an NDA, and yet still hypocritically complain about internet censorship, when they themselves were more than happy to potentially contribute to it for a few bucks.

And the cherry on top is that "Undoomed", a youtuber that, much like [[Bearing]], Shoe once criticized for being stupid, was the only "Skeptic" who was smart enough to read his contract before signing it and negotiate out of the NDA clause.

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg10|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 1.PNG|200px|thumb|center|the concept of hypocrisy is lost on Greg
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 2.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June admits what she did
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 3.PNG|200px|thumb|center|June needs permission to speak but not to systematically censor people
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 4.PNG|200px|thumb|center|what everyone is thinking
File:Armoured Skeptic Tweets 5.png|200px|thumb|center|more maturity from Greg
Moreshoeonhead 18.png|Shoe admits what she did to HO, but still doesn't tell Greg
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==June Bullies a Mentally Disabled War Vet==
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|thumb|300px|Shoe's panicked DM's to HeHeSilly, begging him do something about the guy exposing her being a psycho]]
Whenever June needs validation, she has her fans bully random people she finds online, like a 50 year old Radfem with 500 subs she stumbled on one day. But sometimes the elderly are not enough for her and she has to go after homeless veterans with PTSD.

Such was the case with [https://www.bitchute.com/channel/lou_plisken/ one paranoid schizophrenic] with a gang-stalking obsession, who made somewhere in the ballpark of 20 videos claiming Shoe was a woman named "Sue" who was a girl that Armored kidnapped as a child and raised to be his slave in an international cat-fishing conspiracy that was planning to murder him. The man was obviously crazy, homeless, living out of his van and eating out of trash cans. But this didn't stop June from making multiple tweets pretending that she actually WAS "Sue" to scare this poor invalid.

She was soon called out by a twitter account that reposts "HeHeSillyComics" strips for being a fucking sociopath. June argued that she did nothing wrong and instead went crying to the person who makes HeHeSillyComics to tell him to shut this guy up. In the end, the guy running the account apologized (perhaps being forced by the comic's creator), and they both deleted all tweets related to this, after which the homeless guy Shoe was bullying, scared for his life, deleted his channel.

But the internet [http://archive.is/rE1e5 never] [http://archive.is/nuncj forgets.]

[[File:Moreshoeonhead 14.png|center|800px]]

==June Animorphs Into an SJW==

It's been a while and GamerGate nerds are no longer giving June enough attention, although if it wasn’t for being buddy-buddy with YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, and larger channels like Sargon of Akkad and Blaire White, Shoe0nHead probably would’ve remained a smaller channel that quickly fade into irrelevance after the GamerGate era ended. Nonetheless: Time to expand! And to do that she needs to change her entire personality again and throw more people under the bus with this simple, 3 part plan:

====Step 1: Break off friendships with incel conservatives and befriend violent leftist====

After years of insisting that their differing political views don't preclude them maintaining a friendship, June did to [[Lauren Southern]] exactly what she did to her black boyfriend Andrew when too many people were threatening to stop giving her attention, and threw her to the dogs in a moronic public statement.

A statement that she retracted hours later when she realized her cost/benefit analysis was off and she was losing more suckups with this move than she was gaining. She also took the time shortly prior to inform people that she no longer finds [[Steve Crowter|Steve Crowder]] funny because his dressing up as women all the time is offensive to her precious trannies or something.

Interestingly, despite her and Lauren now "going in different paths", June's paths seem to be converging with people like Shaun and Jen, a guy who said it's okay to kill right wingers because they aren't human, and ContraPoint who, in his video about "free speech", turned directly to the camera to threaten Dave Rubin in a hilarious attempt to intimidate him into not hosting conservatives on his show anymore.

Sadly for June, Contra at least has enough dignity not to acknowledge she even exists.

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 19.jpg|center|400px]]

<center>'''"I'm nyot fwiends with Steven Cwowdew anymowe uwu!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 24.jpg|center|600px]]

<center>'''"Wauwen Southew is a big poopy head 0W0!"'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

|}

====Step 2: Become an ill-informed trans crusader====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 15.jpg|thumb|right|300px|June - Two faced as usual]]

But it isn't enough for June to just suck Contra's cock online. No, June has taken to defending "trans right" with the same intellectual vigor she did anti-feminism. Just like with every other topic she comments on, June did zero research and decided that, after years of making fun of [[Transtrender]]s like [[Milo Stewart]] and [[Riley Dennis]], she no longer believes that Transtrenders are a thing and instead thinks that Milo and Riley are legit trannies because they started taking hormones (rather than two impressionable teenagers that are causing their bodies irreparable damage and giving themselves cancer with unnecessary HRT just to fit in with some clique).

Now June blindly defends any position that "supports" transgenders, thinks that calling transgenderism a mental illness is something only bigots do (even though that's literally what it is), and made it her new hobby online to fight with TERFS on twitter. She doesn't actually understand what she's defending or why. All she knows is that her making fun of trannies made them feel bad uwu and that this trumps all scientific facts, an attitude she used to cringily refer to as "feels over realz".

By doing this, June is perpetuating and attitude that is leading countless people who aren't transgender to undergo needless and permanent treatments, actual transgenders to pump their bodies full of cancerous chemicals when they could be cured with therapy, and generally leading more and more transgenders (real or not) to end up committing suicide... In other words: '''SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB AND SHOULD KEEP IT UP!'''

{{approve|using your ignorance and spinelessness to help drive trannies to suicide!}}

{{Collapsegallery|Hide the children|cg11|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 25.png|"This mental illness is not a mental illness and anyone who uses facts is a bigot!"
File:Moreshoeonhead 17.jpg|Her transformation is complete! Here she is telling someone [[Dave Chappelle]]'s tranny jokes aren't jokes because they hurt her feeling and because she says so
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

====Step 3: BLOCK EVERYONE====
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 16.png|thumb|left|200px|Irony]]
[[File:Moreshoeonhead 21.gif|thumb|right|200px|More irony]]
After years of mocking [[Steve Shives]] for blocking people who make fun of him and people he never talked to because they might make fun of him, as well as taking screencaps of people who block her on twitter for her fans to laugh at, recently June has become so block-happy that people on lolcow.farm turned it into a game to see who can get blocked by her the fastest (just like people used to do with Steve). In the past she used to backpedal and say she only makes fun of Steve because he blocks people before they even tweeted at him (which isn't true), but as of 5/17/2018, the record for fastest shoe block changed from "under one minute" to "under one attosecond", as June has began blocking people who never talked to her because she saw them making fun of when when talking to someone else.

After [[Brittany Venti]] made a video about what a cunt she is (shown above), June took a prolonged "twitter break" that is actually being spent stalking ol' slug-face-brit's twitter and blocking anyone who mentions her video.

Interestingly, there's is a rumor that Pregory propositioned Venti as well.

'''How to get blocked by June:'''

*Tell her she's wrong about something
*Tell her that the Skeptic/Anti Sjw genre on youtube is dead
*say ANYTHING negative about the skeptic community
*Make fun of her wig. Seriously, any mention of her being bald or wearing wigs is an insta-block
*Make any remark towards her that's not covered in uwu and glitter (She'll block you whether malicious or not, she even does this to her fans)
*Bring up her past of bullying
*Bring up current instances of her bullying
*Bring up her black ex boyfriend
*Make a joke at her she doesn't understand (that's how Cognitive Thought got blocked)
*Remind her that [[truth|trans women are not real women]]
*[[Money|Ask why she cared about GamerGate when she hates video games]]
*Be friends with Venti
*Bring up her past of posting her shitty nudes online
*Call out her hypocrisy

Seriously, you don't even need to @ her to get blocked. She searches her name on twitter 24/7. She even searches variants of her name, like "shoe". [[batshit insane|That's right, Shoe0nHead sifts through thousands of posts on twitter under the search "shoe" so she can find people talking shit about her and block them.]] [[HAHAHA OH WOW|She'll even block people for following someone she doesn't like.]]

{| style="margin: .1em auto .1em auto;text-align:center;"
|-
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 22.png|center|400px]]

<center>'''Shot'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|<center>{{frame|[[File:Moreshoeonhead 23.png|center|450px]]

<center>'''Chaser'''</center>|border=pink|background=white}}</center>
|}

==June Vs. Venti==
[[File:Shoe waistline.jpg|thumb|right|300px|is preggory the smol one now?]]

After the Lauren Southern incident, infamous streaming whore [[Brittany Venti]] decided to fuck with Shoe a little to show everyone how fake she is by making a video exposing her. June's immediate response to this was to "take a break" from the internet for two weeks by hiding away in her Discord with her legion of <s>cocksuckers</s> pussy lickers, and occasionally talk shit about Venti, not realizing that trolls are right there with her, screen-capping everything she says.

Meanwhile, Venti did not sit idly by and went on several streams talking more shit about shoe and doing an interview with one of her former friends (the aforementioned "Rob"), who went on her stream to try to defend her, but only ended up admitting that she's fake and that she lied about the age she lost her virginity, unless you count sucking an entire ocean of dicks as being a virgin. This is starting to sound like something written by an untalented fat hack that every pretentious film student, like June, would slob over.
<center><youtube>tpQqH4H_SUQ</youtube></center>

In the meantime, June would pop in and out of her self imposed exile, in her cocoon of sycophants, to block anyone on twitter who makes jokes at her, says anything bad about her, retweets anything Venti says, calls shoe "Shuwu" or "Shoe Shives", talks or follows Venti at all, and even her own fans who are being randomly blocked without understanding why for taking light jabs at her without noticing. When June finally emerged, she wrote a shitty response to the video, lying again, making excuses and ignoring parts she had no answer for.

So Venti made another video.

At the moment Shoe's fans have been able to get Venti's first video taken down from youtube (probably only temporarily) [https://www.bitchute.com/video/mpNB9_GDpuo/ and a copy can be found here.]

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|Venti Town|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>mpNB9_GDpuo</youtube>'''First bideo'''
|<youtube>mWnk4gkMuzw</youtube>'''Second bideo'''
|<youtube>bOehDgPZtwc</youtube>'''Interview with Rob'''
|<youtube>yttKdioMwVU</youtube>'''Deleted Kumite stream'''
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==Someone please call the police to save June's bunny from her==

In spite of her supposed love for bunnies, asking her fans to "send buns" on twitter every time she fucks up and even going so far as to choose an alias that means "Bunny", June's own rabbit is a constant victim of animal abuse.

*June refuses to neuter her bunny, leaving him sexually frustrated and pissing all over her room to the point the smell must be unbearable. She probably can't smell it from all the make-up and glue from her fake hair.
*June’s bunny’s piss at least smells better than June’s icky toejams.
*Feeds him things that bunnies can't properly digest.
*Doesn't own a second bunny to keep it from being lonely, which is considered so cruel that some countries make it illegal.
*Overfeeds it so it looks sickly and morbidly obese.
*Let a cat that is clearly trying to kill it stay in the room all night, staring at her (clearly terrified) bunny in its cage.
*And, worst of all, keeps it in a tiny cage that's meant for hamsters because she's too cheap to buy a bigger one, despite mooching off of her parents.

{{Collapsegallery|Animal Abuse|cg4|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoebunny 01.png
File:Shoebunny 02.png
File:Shoebunny 03.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

==The Fanbase==

June's fanbase is comprised mostly of sad, lonely men who watch [[Sargon of Akkad]] videos in the morning and think that makes them intellectual, and then jack off to Shoe's videos at night, while pretending that what she says is equally valuable, even though it isn't, even with the laughably low bar that other youtube skeptics have set. As of 2021, she coddles the far right.

Whenever anyone dares insult their precious shouwu, or even do nothing at aside from being mentioned by Shoe on twitter (never by name so she can pretend she isn't talking about anyone in particular, even when everyone knows who her tweet is directed at), Shoe's fans will pounce on that person and be mildly annoying. Because, while their rage at anyone insulting their imaginary internet girlfriend burns with the power of a million suns, the fans themselves are incompetent and can only retaliate by giving videos about her dislikes and leaving mean comments, making them perfect targets to be baited and trolled. The only people Shoe's fans CAN go up against and win are easily triggered teenage feminists, mentally ill army vets, elderly women June find online, and small children. Even though, even when they attacked a young girl for pointing out June abuses her bunny, they weren't able to actually scare her.

==June and Pregory break up==

As of mid 2020 it was announced that June and Pregory are no longer dating. A 5 year relationship down the drain. LOL. Pregory totally dominated Shoe in every way, whether it was in the bedroom and their lifestyle and just in general. Pregory totally won that.

==June's Ideological Snafus==

June's biggest consistency is her inconsistency. She has yet to cogently explain her ideology and what she actually believes, surprising literally no one under the Sun. On one hand, she claims to be a far leftist and recently a Huey Long superfan, but is also extremely soft on right-wingers and tries to cater to those that are still left over from the 2016 anti-SJW days. Her friendship with Lauren Southern is one hallmark example of this. The bitch can't make up her mind LOL. Shoe doesn't seem to take policy seriously, but can you really blame her when humanity and namely, the USA, is pretty much fucked? Might as well mindlessly make memes of it instead of actually using her power as a commentator to make meaningful change. I am not saying no memes, but commentators are supposed to ya know, comment. Instead, she just offers vanilla, surface-level takes that can be debunked in 5 minutes. Sad state of affairs.

==June: A Summary Of Fail==

Despite being the most successful skeptic channel with 1.1 million subscribers, June IRL has still been a total failure. From the fact that she still lives with her parents at 27, her failure as a film student, her lack of a genuine ideology or set of beliefs, her multiple failed attempts at e-fame, various forums that have exposed her, [[Shoe0nhead|this article]], Venti's two videos where she absolutely owns Shoe and the cherry on top of the shit sundae: her co-dependent, loveless relationship where she is the sub and cuck to manchild, [[Armoured Skeptic|Pregory]]; Pregory 4, June 0. June has demonstrated a penchant for failure and being the LOLcow that she claims to laugh at. Despite being a successful YouTuber, she is still a failcow that has no real belief system and is in reality a pandering, people-pleasing, desperate and duplicitous person with abandonment issues who is so desperate to be liked that she is willing to pander to the lowest of the low, neckbeards. June is a pathetic loser because her YouTube content is shit and asinine with her cringy and contrived “cutesy chick” persona. However, June at least gets credit for having been blessed with a cute face. But still: Reality 12, June 0.

==Images==

{{Collapsegallery|Nudes|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead Nudes 1.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 2.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead nudes 3.jpg
File:shoe-on-head-nudes-5.jpg
File:Shoe0nhead confirmed.png
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoenudes 07.jpg|Allegedly her ass
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Dressing/Acting Like a Whore|cg21|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoe0nhead_nudes_4.png
File:Shoenudes 09.jpg
File:Sh0eOnHead Braceface.jpg
File:Shoenudes 01.png
File:Moreshoepics 01.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Moreshoepics 02.jpg|Her sister
File:Moreshoepics 03.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 04.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 05.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 06.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 09.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 10.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 13.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 14.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 15.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 16.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 17.jpg
File:Shoe-and-mirror.jpg|Proof of one of the pics
File:Last shoe.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Whore gifs|cg3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shoenudes 02.gif
File:Shoenudes 03.gif
File:Shoenudes 04.gif
File:Shoenudes 05.gif
File:Shoenudes 06.gif
File:Moreshoepics 07.gif
File:Moreshoepics 08.gif
File:Moreshoepics 11.gif
File:Moreshoepics 12.gif
File:Juneshoegif.gif
File:Moreshoeonhead 12.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|"Fan" Art|cg2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:ShoeAndSkeptic.jpg
File:MoarLulzyShoe.jpg
File:Shoefanart 01.jpg
File:Shoefanart 02.png
File:Shoefanart 03.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Shoefanart 04.png
File:Shoefanart 05.jpg
File:Shoefanart 06.jpg
File:Shoefanart 07.jpg
File:Shoefanart 08.png
File:Shoefanart 09.jpg
File:Shoefanart 10.jpg
File:Shoefanart 12.jpg
File:Shoefanart 11.jpg
File:Moreshoepics 18.png
File:Extrashoe 01.png
File:Extrashoe 02.gif
File:Extrashoe 03.png
File:Extrashoe 04.png
File:Extrashoe 05.png
File:Extrashoe 06.png
File:Extrashoe 07.png
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

{{Collapsegallery|Miscellaneous|cg7|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moreshoeonhead 03.png|Poor high school bullying victim Shoe making fun of fat chicks
File:Moreshoeonhead 10.png|Shoe is fat
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg|June "I never had any friends or boyfriends" Lapine
File:Moreshoeonhead 09.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 20.png|lol bald
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Evenmoreshoe 05.png|Shoe runs her own fan twitter account (possibly several)
File:Moreshoeonhead 05.jpg
File:Evenmoreshoe 07.jpg|The daughter June's parents aren't ashamed of because she isn't a failure
File:Moreshoeonhead 06.jpg
File:Moreshoeonhead 08.jpg
File:ShoeOnHead 2006 Edgy.png|Still as much attention whore as she was {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}} - 2006}} years ago
File:Junetheloon.jpg|thumb|Part 2
File:JuneFat.jpg|thumb|Plushies can only hide your rolls for so long
File:Coworkers.png|Can't imagine why her coworkers didn't like her.
File:Realhair.png|June used to brag about how long her hair was before coming out about it being a wig.
File:Moreshoeonhead 07.jpg
File:Shoeonheadanimeavatarhater.jpg
</gallery>|border=pink|color=white}}

<center><big>'''"Fan" Videos'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|{{Videoframe|clone wars|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>MdKQQa0Kktc</youtube>
|<youtube>HlloqD2bThs</youtube>
|<youtube>gj3mVNnwRkM</youtube>
|<youtube>urpzaeMxVfs</youtube>
|<youtube>rhz3oXK9294</youtube>
|border=pink|}}|border=pink|background=white}}</center>

==See Also==

*[[Boxxy]] - for obvious reasons
*[[GamerGate]]
*[[Armored skeptic]] - Cheating slavemaster boyfriend who owns her
*[[Unichan]] - Stalker community she was a part of
*[[CatieWayne.com]] -Another Boxxy stalking site she may have been on
*[[Lolcow.farm]] - Created this site just to spy on people who gossip about her
*[[Brittany Venti]] - Her successor. Completely devastated June, not once but TWICE, and really opened the floodgates of exposure
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - Blocked him on twitter because he said she's cute
*[[Jenny McDermott]] - Braindead retard
*[[LeafyIsHere]] - she looks like him in a wig... or he looks like her without her wig
*[[The Satiratician]] - Only funny thing June has ever done, and even that was by accident
*[[Ian]] - Believed to have been Junes old hacker friend
*[[Einsidler]] - [[Fanboy|Fanperson]]
*[[Attention Whore]]

==External Links ==

* {{yt|c|UC0aanx5rpr7D1M7KCFYzrLQ|Shoe0nHead}}
* {{yt|c|UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q|Personal channel}} - This one has been hastily deleted
* {{yt|u|shoe0ffhead|Shoe0ffHead}} ([https://web.archive.org/web/20170720150815/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1jg_eYyvY2o9XdmhZ1Mi8Q Archive])
* {{twitter|shoe0nhead}}
* {{twitter|MisandryQu33n}}
* {{twitter|yo_juneskii|Old twitter}}
* [http://boxxy.wikispaces.com/June Her Boxxy wiki article]
* {{archive|S6AGy|Archive of an 8chan thread where she allegedly tried to white knight herself}}
* [https://archive.org/details/youtube-WzwD4T_PV_U Archive of video she deleted]
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=creator%3A%22June+Smith%22 Another archive]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20090325064513/https://myspace.com/notthebrightestofthebunch Archive of her old LiveJournal]
* [http://chan.catiewayne.com/m/res/3016.html A thread on another Boxxy stalking site about June]
* {{fb|nikki.lasagnaa|Old facebook}}
* {{fb|oliver.doop.3|Stupid fan page she made for another one}}
* {{fb|ollie.doop|She made at least one more of these}}
* {{myspace|juneskii|Old Myspace}}
* [http://206.223.147.214/shoe0nhead/res/82.html Collection of deleted videos]
* {{dauser|s0upy|Her old DA account}}
* [http://ian-iansblogblogspotcom.blogspot.co.il/2011/08/that-90s-show-is-fail.html Review of her awful "show"]
* {{youtube|9nJa1xfV48w|Shoe blocks other youtuber for making a joke at her}}
* [http://www.formspring.me/juneskii Hastily deleted old forumspring]
* {{instagram|juneskii|Old Instagram}}
* {{Instagram|junelapine|Another old Instagram}}
* {{instagram|shoe0nhead|Current Instagram}}
* {{Soundcloud|s0upy|Her awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|juneskii|Her other awful SoundCloud}}
* {{Soundcloud|shoe0nhead|Her THIRD awful SoundCloud}}
* {{myspace|yo_juneskii|Her MySpace}}
* {{myspace|obeast_man_321|Friend's myspace}}
* {{myspace|junexx|Her sister's MySpace}}
* {{instagram|saruh_michelle|Sister's Instagram}}
* {{fb|sarah.laporta.5|Sister's Facebook}}
* [https://meritpages.com/laporta sister's meritpage]
* [https://ask.fm/shoeqanda Another ask.fm]
* [https://shoe0nhead.blogspot.ca Her shitty blog]

'''June's Endless Collection of Abandoned YT Accounts:'''

'''90's Show Shit''' 
* {{yt|u|90sShowLoca|90sShowLoca}}
* {{yt|u|THAT90sCHANNEL|THAT90sCHANNEL}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowGillz|90sShowGillz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowJames|90sShowJames}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowShortz|90sShowShortz}}
* {{yt|u|90sShowSarah|90sShowSarah}}
* {{yt|u|JAFSvideos|JAFSvideos}}
* {{twitter|90sshowloca|Show's twitter}}
* [http://that90sshow.weebly.com/characters.html Show's website]

'''Other'''

* {{yt|u|xjunesVlogx|xjunesVlogx}}
* {{yt|c|UC6PXKhzWTKGuLU7qQJsnoag|hosowa}}
* {{yt|u|galaxxygal|galaxxygal}}
* {{yt|u|kikichanXD|kikichanXD}}
* {{yt|u|NikkiNarcoticxxx|NikkiNarcoticxxx}}
* {{yt|u|BoopyJuneVlogs|BoopyJuneVlogs}}
* {{yt|u|itsjuneskiibroskii|itsjuneskiibroskii}}
* {{yt|u|HalloSoupy|HalloSoupy}}
* {{yt|u|WTFisANupload|WTFisANupload}}
* {{yt|u|LOLBUNNEHS|LOLBUNNEHS}}
* {{yt|c|UCdZec7vEex5N0FGYfDP3eyQ|June la porta}}
* {{yt|c|UCIYE5tSuk49aAXnrZObMVVw|bun0nhead}}
* {{yt|c|UCR-SCdcKWeZOnCddApH1zdg|misandryqu33n}}
* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1pOHjcHlyJsFu7O2hsERsqWUXtDJl9Ca Playlist of old videos]
* There are probably a million more

{{Portals|youtube|whores}}
{{GamerGate}}
{{Sektur}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 14 & 15, [[2017]]|[[Very proud to be an asian]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[HWNDU]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 26 & 27, [[2018]]|[[Armored Skeptic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Totalbiscuit]]}}

[[Category:People]]

AbsenceOfTheAbsent

2026-06-07T17:31:35Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Usurped!

{{warning|Dankblaze is a butthurt bitch and is blanking this article|warning}}
 
[[Image:AbsenceGetsFlagged.jpg|thumb|right|The shitty icon he uses on all of his sock accounts, notice how fuckin' huge his nose is.]]
<strike>{{yt|u|AbsenceArchive|AbsenceOfTheAbsent}}</strike> aka Jeremy J. "[[Douche|Dankblaze]]" [[Poland|Kaminski]] is a 30 year old self proclaimed "[[fag|troll]]" on [[YouTube]], he is well known for making long and boring video blogs about shitty [[hackers]] and vloggers. Absence claims that he has been on [[YouTube]] since it first started, trolling on various sock accounts. However since there is no proof to back that up we just assume that [[Truth|he is a lying fucktard and a queer]]. He was first found when he decided to jump on the [[Rootbrian]] bandwagon back in late 2008 and early '09. Absence made a shitty video about Brian using cheap make up and poor lighting, the video was an obvious parody of the [[Boxxybabee]] video. Which means Absence is so unoriginal that he had to steal an idea that a camwhore came up with. This isn't surprising since considering he's a retarded Jewish kid living in [[Milwaukee]].
{{Quote|your a fucking moron|Jeremy Kaminski: epic troll}}

== Jew Trivia ==

*Did you know, that Jeremy claims to [[No|own his own house]]?
*He also claims that he makes roughly 60,000 dollars a year doing various [[Buttsex|jobs]].
*Jeremy claims to have an [[irl]] which consist of drinking cheap beer and fucking [[Fat|grenades]].
*He wants to one day open up a bar, that's right a gay bar for all of his little faggot Jew friends to "hang out" in.
*Jeremy has a [[Gay|pink tattoo]] on his right arm, it's most likely some gay Aboriginal shit who the fuck knows.
*Absence has only one friend and supporter on the internet, a 40 something year old [[Autistic]] [[virgin]] trailer trash [[Redneck]] who lives in [[Colorado]] by the name of {{yt|cu|DRAGON0201O|DRAGON201O}}
*'''DRAGON201O''' and Jeremy often spend time having [[Faggots|anal sex]] while complimenting each others [[None|trolling skills]].
*Jeremy's favorite hobbies include: stalking and harassing cripples, drinking cheap beer, fucking [[Dickgirl|whores who have penises]], and [[Jew|hoarding money]].
*Absence is an unfunny version of fat ass redneck and ex [[FCTC]] member {{yt|cu|Ultraforge|Ultraforge}}.
*He once showed his nutsack on a YouTube video, thus proving that once again he is in fact [[gay]].
*Jeremy drinks shit beverages such as [[Gay|Fuze]] and Monster to fuel up for his videos.
*Absence is two years shy of being 30 and still has sex with 17 year old girls, which would mean that he is in fact a [[pedophile]].
*Jeremy once was the leader of a fail troll group known as [[Gay|Team]] [[Shit|Hate]].
*Members of Team Gay included Rod Burch, a well known pedophile and [[Dylan_Kimberlin|Dylan Kimberlin]] a jobless loser with a small penis living in [[Australia|Ausfailia]].
*Absence is a cross between Ultraforge, a fat ass racist redneck and [[Fag|Burk]], a greasy haired emo who got banned from [[ED IRC]].
*Jeremy likes to camwhore on facebook with all of his irl [[fags|friends]].
*Kike nosed Jeremy wears the same lame beanie cap in all of his videos, because he is so cheap that he can't afford to keep the heat on.
*Did you know that Jeremy, is a wannabe [[Fag|model]] with lots of [[Lies|potential]]?

==Humble Beginnings==
[[Image:Rootbrian cock goes where.jpg|thumb|right|Public enemy #1.]]
As you've just read, Absence got his start by taking on one of the most challenging trolling targets around: [[Rootbrian]]. What's a better way to show off your [[Vlogging|trollan]] skills than by making lame jokes about an [[asspie]] that thinks fart jokes are funny? While most people have mocked Rootfag at one point or another, you'll be hard-pressed finding anyone who spends the kind of time Absence does on it. Each one of his videos is usually between 8 and 10 minutes long. Think about that, this guy is pushing 30 and spends hours upon hours making fun of a [[retarded]] [[welfare]] recipient. Wow just wow.
<center>
<youtube>UwK1Z9DHczo</youtube>
</center>
 
{{Quote|I"m going to give you the proper destruction you deserve.|[[Unrealistic expectations]]}}
 
Rootbrian recently made a shout out to one of his favorite trolls, Jermey Kaminski. He also had a few things to say about this article. Brian being the autistic that he is, still believes that Absence is a ween troll and that his dox are not real.
 
<center><youtube>sHNcn6kGCkk</youtube></center>

==Notable Feuds==

This section could use some expansion. [http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=AbsenceOfTheAbsent&action=edit Care to help?]

Absence has a long and sordid history of picking fights with fellow [[Retards|social outcast]]s on YouTube. The fact that he likes to leave out of his vlogs is that he's just as pathetic as his "victims".

===[[SONYFANBOY]]===
[[Image:SonyFagBoyPissedOnByJew.JPG|thumb|Reenactment of [[SONYFANBOY|SONYFAGBOY]] takin the piss from a Jew]]
As previously mentioned, Jeremy seems to have a fetish for trolling fail [[fags|hackers]], but Absence is particularly obsessed with SONYFANBOY, almost to the point of being [[stalker|creepy]]. SONYFAGBOY aka [[Obama|prezdant]] was the victim of countless [[bullshit|tl;dw videos and tl;dr comments]] from Absence, and Absence always made it a point to send each and every single fucking video he ever made about SFB to all of his subscribers, long past the point when anybody actually cared to watch them.

In response, Sonyfanboy aka PreZdaNt "exposed" Absence as a pedophile in one of his videos. Whether it's true or not, it's just fucking funny to see Jeremy rage when [[trolls|people]] call him a [[pedophile]].

This is just part of the long going battle between the two idiots. They are in fact both Jews and [[basement dwellers]] so it's not surprising that they would constantly "[[Fuck|battle]]" each other on the internet.

<center>
<youtube>Jkq7a96c1Vg</youtube>
</center>

===texasarmy81===
[[Image:Absencemonster.png|thumb|right|Monster: fuel of the [[Darksidered992|ween]] trolls!]]
Absence devoted two ten minute videos to this redneck nobody. This is just further evidence for the patter on absence only trolling people who basically do the job for him.
<center>
{{frame|{{fv|txarmyvids|background-color: #fcfe7b;|font-weight: bold;
|<center>'''texasarmy81 Videos'''</center> <youtube>1Iehdx6ucr0</youtube>
|<center>'''texasarmy81 Videos'''</center> <youtube>Z-wghVLFXm0</youtube>
|}}|border=#fcfe7b|background=#fcfe7b}}
</center>

===6699 Clan===
Absence has had a running feud with this group of [[juggalo]] [[internet tough guys]] for some time now. Not to say these people are not inbred retards, but once again, Jeremy takes everything too far. Just watch the videos......if you have [[no life|30 minutes]].
<center>
{{frame|{{fv|6699vids|background-color: #fcfe7b;|font-weight: bold;
|<center>'''6699 Videos'''</center> <youtube>R079da30Vqw</youtube>
|<center>'''6699 Videos'''</center> <youtube>-YNJ8kffvns</youtube>
|<center>'''6699 Videos'''</center> <youtube>bBi-i7RFD5c</youtube>
|}}|border=#fcfe7b|background=#fcfe7b}}
</center>
{{Quote|Butthurt and ownage has been achieved!|Ummmm.....no.}}

===Battim===
Kike nosed Jeremy made a video response to bat shit insane old fart Battim's video about trolls being sociopath's, in this video response Absence [[Lied|claimed]] to be a [[Fag|normal guy]] with an irl and tons of [[Retards|friends]].

<center><youtube>0NkabnWmcSE</youtube></center>

Of course Battim did not reply to the video, nor did Jeremy provide evidence to back up his claims of being a [[Welfare|wealthy]] [[Lies|home owner]] and a [[Retard|socially acceptable individual]].

{{quote|two things..."Re: Trolls are Mentally Ill Respone to Battim " the word is response.

second your title is misleading ,this is not a response to me|Battim's response to Jeremy's 10 minute video response.}}

== Jeremy Knows How Trolling Works ==
Jeremy being the stealthy troll he is, tries to explain how trolling and doxing works in a 10 minute conversation on skype.
 
<center><youtube>tqItieACKSk</youtube></center>

==When Legendes Duel==
In the late summer of 2010, Absence finally met someone who was on his [[retarded|intellectual playing field]]. This person is none other than [[Taekesi]]. For those of you who don't know, Taekesi is a British kid named [[powerword|Matthew]] who runs around [[YouTube]] claiming to be an "Asian Legende". This could easily be equated to Absence's claim of being a "[[YouTube Commentaries|Youtube Critic]]". The two exchanged unfunny blow after unfunny blow <s>until the unthinkable happened. [[Win|Taekesi got Absence's dox]]. Read that again. Taekesi, a scene kid who calls himself "[[lol wut|Legende]]" dox'd a roughly 28 year old "epic troll". Yeah.</s>

[[Spoiler]] alert: Taekesi never really doxed Jeremy (Taekesi called him "[[Fake|Kerry Steinberg]]"), or anyone for that matter. He's a fucking faggot. Luckily, more seasoned [[Trolls|internet terrorists]] have managed to get you Absence's dox. See external links.
<center>
{{frame|{{fv|taekesivids|background-color: #fcfe7b;|font-weight: bold;
|<center>'''Taekesi Videos'''</center> <youtube>M5LKpfEZYYA</youtube>
|<center>'''Taekesi Videos'''</center> <youtube>u3qCGctp_Qo</youtube>
|}}|color=#fcfe7b}}
</center>
 
{{quote|You are a retard, you logged into a fake account with an incorrect login name, I always logged into absencegetsflagged with an email address as a name, the same email address I used to create that account. I will post a video of that email account as well as the notice in it I recieved from youtube when the account was terminated. Then you can be laughed at by everyone for being so obsessed and pathetic you actually took the time to make a fake youtube account, facebook account, a fake name and address. This is how I know you never [[doxxed]] anyone, deftonesfan86 is not even a real email account let alone the one I used to create absencegetsflagged. I used a gmail account dipshit. Once the video is up feel free to flag it for being proven as a wannabe hacker. I will make sure to keep it private for a day so all my friends can mirror it first :)|Absence denying that he was hacked, doxed and exposed, when all else fails deny deny deny right Jeremy!? :)}}

=== When Legends Confuse ===
[[Image:Absencetracksuit.png|thumb|right|Rockin' the "[[Old meme|78 year old]] Jew in [[Florida]]" look.]]
It is a well known [[Truth|fact]] that when Absence attempts to [[fail|troll]] someone he becomes obsessed with that [[troll|individual]] and all of his energy begins to focus on that one particular individual alone. He makes numerous videos and comments about that person and doesn't stop for days, weeks and even months. In fact the same trolling of that one individual can last for almost up to a year with nobody other than Jeremy himself and that other person/sock account caring about whats going on. Jeremy's latest obsession is with Taekesi aka Matthew aka Tyler who keeps on making sock accounts of Jeremy and then "doxing" them. Jeremy gets real upset when people make fake accounts of him and then claim to dox them. Since he is a leet [[1337]] hacker himself he dose not like it when script kiddies like Taekesi make poor attempts at "hacking" and "doxing". Kerry will rant on for 10 minutes about how Taekesi is a fake hacker and poser troll who got "[[Owned|OWNED]]" several [[9000|thousand]] times. It's long, boring and [[gay]] to say the least. Either way Absence will stop at nothing to "[[Whore|expose]]" fake hackers and [[Fags|doxers]] via [[USI|10 minute video blogs]] on his sock accounts.
 
 
<center><youtube>VatRXERbnVA</youtube></center>

<center>
{{morphquote|KikeQuotes|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 210px;|font-weight: bold;
|Anyone wanting to see first hand proof of one of Taekesi's now suspended sockaccounts being exposed click imagevenue link below:|Absence thinking anyone would care about his e-fit with another failure such as himself|

ANYONE WANTING TO SEE THAT TAEKESI GOOGLED HIS NEW SOCKACCOUNTS PROFILE PICTURE JUST CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW. (He claims his TommySantoro sockaccount is real and that is actually a picture of him)|More tl;dr rants about Taekesi "OWNING" him.|

Taekesi is a friendless emo child from central Europe who has developed a very elaborate fantasy world I like to refer to as "Pretend Asian Mafia Land". There are multiple characters involved in this super unoriginal story he has designed. All of these characters are played by Taekesi/Matthew himself. Here is a full list of all the sockaccounts Taekesi/Matt likes to play pretend and talk to himself with on peoples channel comments:|Obsessed much Jeremy?|

all further info of Taekesi's faggish cancer ridden existance on youtube and his fantasy world of "Pretend Asian Mafia Land" can be found on his EncyclopedaDramatica page, link right here:|Jeremy still thinking that anyone other than himself cares about Taekesi.|color=#ffffff}}
</center>

=== Dox'd and Exposed ===
The [[fail]] "hacker" known as Taekesi recently discovered Jeremy's [[Facebook]] account of which had access to many [[lulz]] worthy pics of Jeremy. [[Never|When and if]] the Facebook profile is exposed, it will be linked on this article below on the related links section. Until then, entertain yourself with Jeremy's response to this development:
 
 
<center><youtube>s1XRyVxF2BA</youtube></center>

{{quote|It's pretty pathetic you used the same pics i used in my bg. that's why they are in low resolution. where's the link to my facebook? and now you have pictures you cropped off my bg in your computer of me HUMM who's the owned gay faggot now? *yawn* keep trying to hard newfaggot ;)|Absence denying the facebook pics are real.}}

== Quotes ==
<center>
{{morphquote|JeremyQuotes|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 210px;|font-weight: bold;
|I am here to get a rise out of people, I have no ambitions to be a youtube [[camwhore|star]], I merely come on here for recreation to exploit peoples ignorance.|Absence having a bad case of [[USI|unwanted self importance]]|

Like I said to [[Troll|serbia]], take some fucking [[ADHD|adderall]] if you can't wedge in ten minutes to watch a video you don't like with people you know nothing about. My videos [[Truth|aren't fucking art]] they're straight-foward trashing out-of-line losers who have delusions of grandure. Style would get in the way of the meaning and mislead the viewer. And substance? What the fuck? What else am I supposed to add to a video about making fun of someone? I make my point in my videos, though it takes [[TLDW|10 mintues]] to make it.|His videos aren't fucking art, Jeremy Kaminski says so.|

So, tell me Mr. "Pro Troll", how do they do it these days? Make millions of sock accounts with stupid gimmicks like pretending to be another race and troll other trolls pretending to be little girls? Ya dude, pro as fuck.|Pro as fuck mtw|

Absence's name isn't Kerry Steinberg you fucking moron lol, keep on kissing Taekesi's ass and believe everything he tells people.|[[Truth|His name is not Kerry Stienberg]].|

wow, is that completely retarded comment supposed to be offensive? kid, my name isn't kerry, and I am 90% german. calling me a jew when it's completely inaccurate does not accomplish anything. thanks for proving yourself to be an idiot though :)|Jeremy Kaminski, he's 90 percent <s>German</s> Polfag. Oh and just an fyi Jeremy, Jews are not German, you have dark eyes and dark hair also a big nose. Fail moar.|

you are a retard, you logged into a fake account with an incorrect login name, I always logged into absencegetsflagged with an email address as a name, the same email address I used to create that account. I will post a video of that email account as well as the notice in it I recieved from youtube when the account was terminated. Then you can be laughed at by everyone for being so obsessed and pathetic you actually took the time to make a fake youtube account, facebook account, a fake name and address. This is how I know you never [[doxxed]] anyone, deftonesfan86 is not even a real email account let alone the one I used to create absencegetsflagged. I used a gmail account dipshit. Once the video is up feel free to flag it for being proven as a wannabe hacker. I will make sure to keep it private for a day so all my friends can mirror it first|TL;DR ragegraph about nothing.|color=#ffffff}}
</center>

== Absence and Friends React to This Page ==

Jeremy, being a Jewish attention whore responded to the creation of his article by saying that is was "[[lame]] and [[gay]]," and that he could have written a better article. Which we all know is a lie, because he is still in fact a Jewish faggot attention whore who is far too busy making shitty tl;dw videos and comments on JewTube. He's also blamed his arch-nemesis Taekesi for attempts to blank this article. Seeing as they're both massive queers, that's actually a possibility.

<center>
{{morphquote|reactionquotes|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 210px;|font-weight: bold;|Alphatroll, welcome to the conversation retard, I knew about the lame article days ago and actually welcomed people to go see how lame it is. Good work not having a clue though :)|Absence loves the attention, then again you can't blame him because he's Jewish.|

absence ed article is as funny as watching paint dry now compare his to george or matt or mathews ed page the unwarranted self importance uk boy and why dont the ctfc like this guy ne ways they never gave a reason. also they dont wikes me which is fine i dont want stupid people to like me fuck i dont give a flying fuck if everyone hates me . i could be worst i could be in love with joel mchale or dress up as a animal and fuck other people who dress up as animals or i could be a perv and lure lil kiddies in my van and rape em . or i could be a loony liberal or conservative , but im not i just read mad magazine and alfred e numan is my personal hero|Staunch Absence fantard {{yt|cu|DRAGON201O|DRAGON201O}} tl;dring as usual. Also note the third grade grammar and lack of caps and periods. It's like one long sentence of [[Autistic]] rambling [[shit]].|

welcome to the ED hall of fame, :)|{{yt|cu|alchamizt|alchamizt}}|

lol, nice ed page|{{yt|cu|PATEv4|PATEv4}}|

You're so butthurt over your ED article, ROFL!
It looks like everyone knows you're a butthurt Jewish failure, LMFAO!
Die.|[[Taekesi]]|

Yep, little kids cannot hack me so they spend days on end creating a ED page full of fictional storytelling. It amazes me that I got under that little kid Georgie Kurai aka Taekesi's skin so bad calling him a wannabe hacker that he resorted to making fake youtube accounts. It's even more pathetic that he took the time to invent a fake name and address for me. LOL, and he says I am the one who is "butthurt" and "owned". ;)|LMAO he still doesn't understand satire and he doesn't have enough brains to figure out that [[Taekesi]] [[Truth|did not create his article]].|

Yea, I'm aware of the failure's ED article, he creates multiple accounts to try and erase and edit it because almost all of it is true, I on the other hand welcome people to checkout mine because it was made by Georgie aka Taekesi and it is comprised of fiction and retardation. Sometimes people (taekesi) think the internet is serious business though ;)|LEL he still thinks Taekesi wrote this article, it takes the minimum of three clicks to figure out that he had nothing to do with this.|Absence won't accept the truth, he's so obsessed with Taekesi that he wants to think [[No|Taekesi did it]].|

They both don't read articles, they just bitch about it.|{{yt|cu|LegendeEmp|LegendeEmp}} speaking the cold, hard [[truth]].|

lol@you trying to claim I blanked my ED article, I have only been to that page once, I read the failure and haven't returned since. I have no intention on wasting my time signing up for a ED account just to erase something any moron can just re-add anytime. As for being [[doxxed]], Nobody has ever [[doxxed]] me. Taekesi just keeps avoiding providing any proof of himself "[[doxxing]]" me. He either changes the subject or makes a lame excuse whenever i request he provide my IP address or proof that the fake email "deftonesfan96" links to the fake name and address he made up. Feel free to cry somemore on my channel though. :D|Absence denying that he blanked this article.|color=#ffffff}}
</center>

== Absence and his Nuts '''NSFW'''==
[[Image:Absenceballs.png|thumb|right|"Those are my balls. My exposed balls."]]

A final point of consideration in an analysis of Jeremy Kaminski is this rather odd video, where in order to prove he did not care about flagging, Jeremy whipped out his [[testicles]] on camera for all of YouTube to see.

<center>
<video type="slutload" id="B1w4qv3jaNe" width="400" height="300" frame="true" position="center" allowfullscreen="true"/>
</center>

{{quote|Nuts on YouTube!|Honestly, that was the best description he could have given}}

This guy is "not a camwhore" at all, mind you.

==Galleries==
{{cg|Fun With Jeremy Kaminski|AbsentGall|center|<gallery>
Image:Absence o4ld.jpg|[[YHBT|YHBT YHL O4L HAND]]
Image:Jewnosedcunts.png|Absence and [[Legi0n|Atlus]]: two of a kind.
Image:Absencedeletes.png|Comment deleter.
Image:Absencedescrip.png|"[[Wat|How to Eat a Retard]]"
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Absencehacking.png|[[No|Absence is an expert on hacking]].
Image:Absencehypocrite.png|Totally not using sock accounts.
Image:Absencetrolling.png|Absence demonstrates his [[fail|epic]] trolling skills.
Image:Absencetard.png|[[Epin]] at spelling.
Image:Absencetard2.png|Self-explanatory.
Image:Absentart.png|Fanart.
Image:TaekesiIsAFraud.jpg|Jeremy obsesses with Taekesi some moar.
Image:Absence jeremy foreveralone.jpg|Forever alone.jpg ;_;
Image:Absencecrim1.png|Minor in possession.
Image:Absencecrim2.png|[[3Guys1Hammer|Criminal destruction of property]].
Image:Absencecrim3.png|[[Mel Gibson|Drunk driving]].
</gallery>|}}

{{cg|Thought you could get rid of this eh Jeremy?|AbsentGall2|center|<gallery>
Image:Jeremy Kaminski.jpg|The first of many facebook camwhore pics.
Image:Jeremy Kaminski2.jpg
Image:Jeremy1.png
Image:Jeremy2.jpg|Jeremy at teh gaybar with [[fags|friends]].
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Jeremy3.jpg|So [[shit|artsy]].
Image:Jeremy4.jpg|JJ with some ugly [[camwhore]].
Image:Jermy5.jpg|[[wigger]] as fuck mtw.
Image:Jeremy6.jpg|Smoking makes you look [[No|cool]].
Image:Jeremy7.jpg
Image:Jeremyretardfriend.jpg|His friend looks like [[Rootbrian]] lol.
Image:Jeremywordupyo.jpg|Jeremy "Dankblaze" Kaminski: Pro troll and one ker-aaaaazy drunk.
Image:Jeremyfagmodel.jpg
Image:Jeremyshitpic.jpg
Image:Jjbeaniefag.png
Image:JJ alchohoic.jpg
</gallery>|}}

==See Also==

*[[SHIT]]
*[[TL;DW]]
*[[USI]]
*[[Jews]]
*[[Polish]]
*[[Troll Shielding]]
*[[Trying Too Hard]]
*[[Taekesi]]
*[[SONYFANBOY]]
*[[KNIGHTRIDAH]]
*[[Rootbrian]]
*[[Dylan_Kimberlin|Dylan Kimberlin]]
*[[Tom Serson]]
*[[Legi0n]]
*[[Vloggerheads]]

==External Links==
*<s>{{yt|cu|iRAEPchuL0L|Current sock account}}.''' Hacked''' again, he no longer has any youtube accounts [[ROFL]]!!1</s> '''[[BALEETED]]'''
*<s>{{yt|cu|AbsenceArmageddon|Current channel}} Currently locked out.</s> '''[[BALEETED]]'''
*<strike>{{yt|cu|OwnedFagsFlagMe|Other current channel}}</strike> [[Hacked]] lol.
*<s>{{yt|cu|AbsenceEclipse|AbsenceEclipse}}</s> - B&
*<s>{{yt|cu|AbsenceGetsFlagged|Old main YouTube}}</s> - B&
*<s>{{yt|cu|DeftonesAbsence|His other account in which he claims is owned by Taekesi}}</s> - B&
*<s>{{yt|cu|AbsenceArchive|Claims to be just a fan, obvious sockpuppet}}</s> '''[[BALEETED]]'''
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/AbsenceGetsFIagged AbsenceGetsFIagged ] - Parody account. Usurped by a Russian, so all of the original content is gone.
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/AbsenceGotFlagged AbsenceGotFlagged] - Another parody account</s> '''[[BALEETED]]'''
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/AbsenceDefender AbsenceDefender] - Almost certainly a parody
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/AbsenceSuspended AbsenceSuspended] - Another parody
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/AbsenceGetsOWNED AbsenceGetsOWNED] - Yet another parody</s> '''[[BALEETED]]'''
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/KerrySteinberg KerrySteinberg] - Account with his [[dox]]</s> B&
*Email: dankblaze@aol.com
*[http://www.myspace.com/dankblaze/photos Jeremy on myspace includes epin model pics.]
*<s>[http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeremy-Kaminski/100000071875088 Jeremy on facebook.]</s> '''[[BALEETED]]'''
*[http://twitter.com/dankblaze Dankblaze on Twitter.]
*<s>[http://meetcam.com/vb/member.php?746455-dankblaze&s=f1f621c8ea4664bda4f6347d16a5c844e Meetcam.com profile.]</s> '''[[BALEETED]]'''
*<s>[http://en.pornizer.com/dankblaze eporbizer profile.]</s> '''[[BALEETED]]'''
*<s>[http://forum.androidcentral.com/members/dankblaze.html Jeremy Dankblaze's androidcentral fourm account.] </s> '''[[BALEETED]]'''
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?q=1829+S+37TH+ST+MILWAUKEE+WI+53215&layer=c&sll=43.010696,-87.960403&cbp=13,339.4,,0,0&cbll=43.01066,-87.960385&gl=us&sspn=0.006295,0.006295&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=1829+S+37th+St,+Milwaukee,+Wisconsin+53215&ll=43.01066,-87.960385&spn=0,0.021136&z=16&panoid=4-GEmbejT__o5KHlup3unQ Dox via Google maps.]
*[http://www.intelius.com/results.php?ReportType=1&qf=Jeremy&qn=Kaminski&qc=Milwaukee&qs=WI Jeremy's dox on intelius.com]

{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Jews}}
[[Category:People]]

Absinthe

2026-06-07T17:28:42Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Expanding with some fun trivia! (Hey man, i dunno, its a boring stub so I have to add something lul)

[[File:Fatfairy_leafy.jpg|left|thumb|200px| This is what you see [[Your mom|on a typical trip]]]]

'''Absinthe''' is what [[Borat|Czech]] people and supposedly "[[hipster|art]]" [[fags]] drink 24/7 to become really really fucked-up. [[bullshit| If you drink 4 shots of Absinthe you get really high and start to see shit that's not real]], which is why was outlawed in many countries for a time. This is due to the addition of wormwood extractives, which are some shit straight out of James and the Giant Peach. It has been characterized as tasting like [[shit|liquorice]] and [[death|happiness]].
[[File:abspoon2.jpg|left|thumb|200px|next time [[your mom]] brings out the nice cake lifter for guests, you can call her out as the drunk slut she is]]

==Varieties of Absinthe==
Going to the [[Poland|Czech]] [[fail|Republic]] (absinthe has nothing to do with Czech Republic, you stupid fuck) without trying Absinthe would be like going to Las Vegas without gambling or to the Internet without downloading [[porn]]z. It has recently been re-legalized in the [[United States|U.S. and A]], where at least six brands are now available - the French "Lucid", the Swiss "Kubler", and the Chicagoan "Sirène", which is actually quite good, despite what you may have heard about [[American]] skill at making booze.
[[Chuck Testa|Also this]]

The other brands can be found [http://www.bevlaw.com/absinthe.htm here]. The [[Borat|Czech]] style of Absinthe is basically the [[crap|Budweiser]] of the Absinthe world, and lighting the sugar cube on fire is [[awesome|bullshit]] [[lie|that was invented for tourists]]; if [[you]] [[fail|try to do it at home]], you're just going to [[divide by zero|fuck everything up and die]]. Unlike [[alcohol|alcolol]] absinthe has no effect on your driving and doesn't register on the [[lie|breathalyser]], if you get arrested offer it to the police and say:"This has compounds in it, that are similar to cannabis."

There is also the absinthe made in Switzerland, which does not suck dicks like the crap from the [[Borat|Czech Republic]]. It doesn't taste like [[shit|liquorice]] and you dont light the sugar cube on fire. Another type is from France. While it also sucks, it was once some of the best, until all of the [[Alcohol|French winos]] got butthurt and started to ban it [[At least 100|at least 100 years ago]].
Unfortunately, the Swiss Absinthe that doesn't suck costs about a billion dollars a bottle and [[you|you]] could never afford it.
[[File:absindijoojad.jpg|thumb|400px|right|doin it rite]].

==Absinthe in the [[United States]]==
Many absinthe brands widely distributed online and in the U.S. are actually just cheap vodka with anise flavoring and green food color added. Of course, suckers will buy anything that's advertised as "liquid panty remover."

It is actually not illegal currently in most countries, although sometimes hard to find in some places due to low demand. For these reasons, and because of its overhyped badass image, it will run you three to four times the cost of regular booze. If you drink this shit you'll end up looking like [[Marilyn Manson]], who drinks the stuff. [http://www.mansinthe.com/ Click here to buy his new brand, guaranteed to piss off the establishment]

==Video Games==

Absinthe appears in the [[Fallout: New Vegas]] and [[BioShock]].

{{Drugs}}

[[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Fandom Stuff]]

Eric Matthew Frein

2026-06-07T13:43:21Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Sigh. ED really does need an "articles for deletion" function.

{{AlGore}}
{{Failsathero}}
{{ib|[[File:Eric Matthew Frein.jpg|200px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Eric Matthew Frein'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|May 3, 1983 ({{age|1983|5|3}} years old)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 1, injured 1}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No}}
{{Ibend}}
'''Eric Matthew Frein''' is a former soldier who became famous for causing a [[mass shooting]].
==Background==
He was born on May 3, 1983, in New Jersey, mentioning that his father was abusive and that Eric acted as his protector. He was a standout shooter on the Pocono Mountain High School rifle team, In 2004, he was charged with grand theft and robbery after being accused of stealing items from vendors at a World War II reenactment in New York. Those who knew him described him in contradictory ways: as a "tender brother" and protector, but also as an individual with difficulty separating reality from fantasy, fueled by an anti-government ideology.
===YouTube Channel===
Frein's [[YouTube]] career was short lived - his first video was a reupload made by a Bosnian news company, which is titled Vojska Republike Srpske [[Kosta Kecmanović|(Bosnian Serb Army)]], which appears to show Bosnian (and possibly [[Serbian]]) soldiers engaging in the Bosnian War.
<center><youtube>3xrGi3hDK7A</youtube> '''one of his old videos.'''</center>
==SHOOTING FUCK==
At 10:50 p.m. on September 12, 2014, a shift change was commencing outside the Troop R barracks of the Pennsylvania State Police in the Pocono Mountains in the Township of Blooming Grove, Pennsylvania. At that moment, a sniper opened fire with a .308-caliber rifle. One trooper was killed by the gunfire and a second was injured, but survived. Four shots were fired within 90 seconds, from a distance of 82 yards (75 m) in a position at the edge of the nearby woods, before the shooter fled further into the wooded area. One trooper was shot trying to help the other, prompting him to crawl back to safety, where he was aided by two other troopers. The fatal victim was shot twice, once in the chest, and once in the shoulder; Both being fatal wounds. The wounded victim was shot once in the lower back, which exited through the hip, causing nerve damage to his right leg.

They took over a month to capture him and naturally he was given an eternal stint at Azkaban for the murder of a law wizard.

==Loadout==
<center>
{|class="wikitable" width="45%" style="text-align:left"
!colspan="2"|Class Setup
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': .308-caliber rifle
[[Image:GTA4IconsBoltActionSniper.png|center|100px]]
|
*'''10~20 Damage.'''
|}
</center>
==Graded Score==
{{GradedScore|1|injured 1|1|1 Killed|1|Nah|3|...|0|FAIL|6|F-----|YOU SUCK NIGGER}}

{{Wanted|1}}
==See Also==
*[[Joshua Jahn]] - Leftoid fag version.
==External Links==
*{{Wikilink|Eric_Frein|TOW coverage}}
*{{Wikilink|2014_Pennsylvania_State_Police_barracks_attack|TOW coverage of the shooting}}
*{{yt|@|Vucko0064|Vucko0064}}

{{Dyingalone}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Psychopaths}}
{{Ytseries}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:2014]]

Ted-Drakness

2026-06-07T03:31:55Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Label

[[Image:God_I_m_Gay_by_Ted_Drakness.jpg|thumb|Yeah, basically.]]
[[Image:Eh Me TedDrakness.jpg|thumb|left|Ted in RL/earlier years. [[fatty|Man the harpoons]]!.]] 
[[Image:TedD.jpg|thumb|left| What Ted looks like today.]]

'''[[Powerword|Ashley Hoilman]]''', aka. '''Ted-Drakness''', aka. a failed abortion on it's mother's behalf is a [[bipolar]] DevianTART with a [[fangirl|certain appreciation]] for [[Jhonen Vasquez|Johann Sebastian Vasquez]], and probably [[buttsecks|friends]] with [[Katy]]. It is renowned for being a retard of astronomical levels and hermaphrodite skank that changes love interests as much as one changes underwear, but it's highly doubted that she's even mentally capable of even such simple tasks. It's hobbies include being batshit insane, [[Transgender|pretending to be a dude]], [[Crybaby|whining incessantly]], faking it's own death, [http://sluggie.deviantart.com/ ban evasion], and [[pedophilia]].

It's gallery is almost entirely filled with [[rule 34|more than its share of traumatizing fanart]], save for a couple of admittedly [[Photoshop|impressive original paintings]] which soon followed suit after her recent [[delusional|love affair]] with an internet user [[shit nobody cares about|whose real identity still remains uncertain.]] Why yes, it did believe [[anonymous|a complete stranger on the internet]] when he randomly approached it and told it he was [[Jhonen Vasquez|Jonah Vasquiz]]. THEY HAD A VERY SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP OKAY.

Their relationship abruptly ended when Ted-Drakness [[Fake internet deaths|committed e-suicide]] after learning the startling truth about it's true love [[Jhonen Vasquez|John Vespa]].

It's all for the best though - Ted-Drakness' <s>new-found</s> hobby for creating heartfelt journal entries about [[Unwarranted self-importance|horrible things that happen in her pathetic life]] of an epic length can't allow it the spare time to leave it's parents' [[basement]], let alone handle an e-[[boyfriend]].

Watch out for the [[lol|impending lawsuit]] from this: Ted-Drakness has written over 200 words about how it is going to sue ED. RUH-ROH.

Ted-Drakness was also a member of the "I Hate Encyclopedia Dramatica" club on [[DeviantART]], both before this article was written, and before [http://pillow-lover7.deviantart.com/ pillow-lover7] [[delete fucking everything|deleted fucking everything]].

==Emotional [[surprise sex|Raep]]==
In an extremely [[TL;DR]] but recent blog entry posted [[last Thursday]], Ted describes what has been [[fanfiction|going on]] between it and "[[lie|Mr. Vasquez]]" for [[at least 100 years]] now. She first began to suspect that her [[an hero|whole life has been a lie]] when it messaged him and he wasn't an [[asshole]]. When they [[cybersex|cybered]] as the lonely shepherd and a very naughty sheep, it still seemed somehow in the realm of plausibility, but it was when he expressed concern for fires going on in the same state as him, that things began to look shady. To it's [[wtf|dismay]], it turns out that [[ZOMG]]! "JCVasquezTHM on AOL is NOT JV!!"

[[Image:What has science done.jpg|thumb|I can't imagine how this could have started out bad...]]

{{squote|. . .today I found out something that has ripped my heart out and destroyed me completely. I began to get suspicious of this person when he told me he was evacuated due to the CA fires, but San Jose is no where near where they were. Today I e-mailed Dan from SlaveLabor and he contacted Jhonen and e-mailed me back saying that this person that I spent half a year in love with, half a year worrying about, getting to know, and over half a year devoted to...was not Jhonen.|Ted-Drakness|on common sense}}

{{squote|The real JV replied to me on MySpace and told me to stay away from anyone claiming to be someone famous, he was kind enough to answer me which made me feel a lot better. I'm trying to remind myself that the real JV did not do this to me so that it won't ruin my love for him and his fandom.|Ted-Drakness| on keeping priorities in order}}

{{quote|Hey. So like... Don't talk to people who claim to be famous on the internet, k?|Jhonen Vasquez|on sympathy}}

Ted then begins to explain to the internet that it feels "[[butthurt|emotionally raped]]" and will be needing to [[flounce|collect her toys and leave the sandbox]] for now.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:too.jpg|T
Image:long.jpg|L;
Image:did not.jpg|D
Image:read.jpg|R
</gallery></center>

Just think, all the time wasted on crafting this epic of a textwall could have been better spent acquainting her major arteries with a razor blade.

==Internet Lawsuit==
Ted goes on to say that it will be definitely be calling in the [[whambulance|party van]] for the emotional damage it has endured. Mr. Anon C. Vasquez, obviously having forgotten that [[serious business|the internet is serious business]], has [[lulz|unrightfully stolen]] the online identity of a [[douchebag|very important person]], and can be sure to see it in [[internet trial|internet court]] sometime in the [[caturday|next week]].

{{quote|I've cried until I can not cry anymore. . . and in the end, all he had to say was 'I'm sorry.' And then asked me not to press charges... You're damn straight [[I'M PRESSIN CHARGES]]. But no amount of charges will take back what they did to me.|Ted-Drakness|on healthy relationships with real people}}

[[your mom|Her mom]] assures us that Ted will be perfectly fine, saying that it had pretty much the same reaction when it found out that [[Santa]] wasn't real.

[[Image:Dead-santa.jpg|thumb|Santa, emotional rape... Same thing.]]

{{quote|Yeah, it will be fine. It had pretty much the same reaction whenever it found out that Santa isn't real. |Ted's mom|on totally seeing this coming}}

AnonV. can expect to face a long sentence in [[internet jail]], as [[E-lawyers]] are relentless and [[Honorary Ed Lolington]] don't mess around. [[city_glitter|'''CRIME DOES NOT PAY.''']]

==Recovery==
Despite the recent loss, Ted is doing all it can to BE STRONG and begin on it's way toward a [[an hero|full recovery]] from this [[serious business|grave]] online tragedy.

{{squote|I am going to be alright, know that. It may take me a long time before I'm myself again, and I will never get over this completely, I'll always be scarred from it. But I'll press on, it's one of the hardest things I've had to deal with, but I'll deal with it. I'm going through different stages of recovery and it may be a long time before I'm myself again, but I think I'll be fine..or as fine as someone in my position could be.|Ted-Drakness|on staying strong in the face of imaginary adversity}}

It has started by leaving [[DeviantArt]], quitting painting altogether, and setting up a new [http://www.myspace.com/jimmyzbiggestfan MySpace] <s>shrine</s> page. In closing, the thing reminds us all that [[Jhonen Vasquez|Jihadnenon]] does not like his name to be butchered. So please stop raeping the good name of Mr. Vasqueeze, plzthx.

{{quote|Jhonen: It's pronounced fhsfwhfjk, learn that.|Ted-Drakness|on not fucking it up. Jesus, you guys.}}

==A [[emo|Heartfelt]] Response==
[[Image:Dib naked by TedDrakness.jpg|thumb|[[shota|'''LIES, ALL OF IT''']] ]]
[[Image:SqueeStrapONTedDrakness.gif|thumb|[[CP|'''LIESSSSSSSSSS''']] ]]

Goodness gracious me! Apparently Ted-Drakness does not appreciate Encyclopedia Dramatica using this page to "<nowiki>[tell]</nowiki> '''lies''' on everyone they can think of for the ''lulz''" (moar liek for the attention amirite?). Of course by "everyone they can think of" it means it's self, because you know,it's not the first and only beast we "tell lies on" ('''LIES LIES LIES''' AND WE BACK NOTHING UP WITH EVIDENCE oh wait shit [[DISREGARD THAT|disregard that]]), yet only now is it speaking out against teh haet.

Speaking out, you say? Welp, we can [[George Zimmer|guarantee]] that this ain't lies. After finding out about this beautiful piece of prose you are reading, Ted-Drakness posted yet another rather tl;dr journal outlining '''THE LIES''' we are telling. The lengthy diatribe can be read in full [[:File:EDliessssss.PNG|here,]] but please allow us to quote from it for your amusement:

{{quote|I am [...] a pedophile|[http://ted-drakness.deviantart.com/journal/15370637/ Ted Drakness]}}

And that's '''no lie'''!

If you can honestly read all the way through that cluster fuck of words then more power to you. ''IT IS FOUR PAGES LONG''. It is more than five hundred words longer than the article that spawned it (and only after this nifty wall-o-text section was added)! Keep in mind most of this article is quotes from Ted-Drakness [[hir]]self.

Mmmyes, you certainly have no unhealthy obsessions, Ted-Drakness.

==The Vasquez Response==
Upon reading this article, [[Jhonen Vasquez|Hornen]] had the following to say amidst trying to choke down the urge of vomiting even briefly:
{{quote|[[Image:ExplodingHead.gif]] ...and don't forget to buy from Slave Labor.|[[Jhonen Vasquez]]| on ED}}

==Hot for Granny==
[[Image:Hotforgramma.jpg|thumb]]
[[Image:Tedjourndrama1.jpg|thumb]]
In more recent lulz, it has confessed to thinking Ms. Bitters is hot and probably faps to her wrinkly image in her spare time as well. Then again, who could expect less from DA's biggest bipolar lunatic considering what she already likes? Yep, you bet your fugly deranged ass we're posting it.

==Not even her parents like her==
As of late last year and part of early 2009, Ted had a falling out with it's parents which eventually led to them both moving out because thanks to an inside source. Neither of them could stand it's incessant bitching, bipolar mood swings and general retardedness. Certainly all of which combined must have reached levels previously thought unknown to man for even it's own parents to split if that says anything about her being able to be a part of society of EVER being able to have a half sane love interest at all. Which it really DOES.

Most baffling of all is it's relationship between it and it's father which it claims molested it as a kid, which it hates him for and has even claimed to have developed a fear of intimacy from.
Even so it has been known to fantasize on it's journal and has even drawn father/son incest as well as pedophilia. One might conclude it secretly gets jollies thinking about what Papa Hoilman did to it but only claims to be traumatized to get extra special asspats from those foolish enough not to see how depraved the she-beast really is.

As for it's mother, she has ran off with a 50 something guy and contacts Ted from time to time if only to bitch it out or send it presents, which leads one to believe she does this either to toy with her retard daughter's emotions or she is just as fucking apeshit nuts as her daughter. If in fact she is toying with it, it seems to be working thus proving what a complete and astounding idiot Ted is considering that a more recent journal praised mama for remembering it's B-day.

From the looks of things, Mama Hoilman's new man was only telling the truth.

== OMFG CANCER!one!! ==
Yes, Ted-fagness has contracted cancer of the ass from fucking her god-awful "artz" of irken sodomy. This has meant months upon months of her '''''[[BAWWW|bawwwwwwing]]''''' in her journals about how the chemotherapy sucks and how much of a douche her boyfriend that dumped him when he asked to move in with him was lol.

But of course, there has been much speculation towards the truth of this faggotry, because anyone on the internetz claiming to have a terminal illness is [[Bullshit| telling the truth]] because he has recently completely forgotten she has cancer and has taken up the habit of being [[Butthurt|butthurt]] over 11 year olds posting pics of his shitty art on tumblr and loling about how much it sucks. She has made no mention of his terminal illness for about [[9000|9001 months]], so it seems he got bored of those types of tl;dr asspats, and decided to be an attention whore in another satanic form.

So she turned all his watcher TARTlets into his personal army every few days to take down the images and stroke her cancerous e-peen. She also got his on-again-off again [[Internet girlfriend|girlfriend]] (that gets butthurt and deletes her dA account [http://invaderpoe.deviantart.com/ every few days]) to spam the shit out of any artist that says anything moderately negative towards Ted or has an [[Original character|OC]] with the same name as his, even if it is complete coincidence. What's even better is she's also, completely, batshit insane. And she gets fucking pissed whenever someone "flirts" with her on her dA, because of course putting a smiley face in your comment counts as flirting you stupid little cunt :)

==White Soldiers of JU5T1C3!!!1!==
It is uncertain how this waste of internet bandwith has amassed a following of [[faggots|equally gay people]] but each member of this "cause" seems ever vigilant to their butthurt loving master. Whenever anything remotely hurtful or truthful of Ted surfaces, you're sure that [[Police|gay squad]] will alert it's majesty of the thing of little importance. These "white knights" (if you can call them that) go to the trouble to create side accounts on DA so that they can "protect" their lord and savior.

Three things you should do when you see this: 1. Not give a shit. 2. & 3. See step one.
These soldiers actually tire easily after a few days, mainly due to the fact they can't keep their mind on subject any longer than their master can.

Shit, if anyone on the internet could have decency enough to sit down with someone and discuss issues such as someone calling you a faggot without deleting an article, sending white whores, or even ''DEAR GOD'' writing mile long messages only to delete them at a later convenient time, maybe they could teach us all a thing or two. But nope. We got the ass fuckers.

==Paintings, "Art", and Screencaps for Great Justice==
{{cg|Ted Drakness's Bullshit|TedDrakBull|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Puppet portrait.jpg
Image:Heart by Ted Drakness.jpg
Image:kinkaid in disguise.jpg|Ted-Drakness is actually [[Thomas Kinkade]] in disguise.
Image:Pirates of the... wait.jpg|Pirates of the Lolcow
Image:TeddraknessJTHMporn.jpg|...And Ted claims she doesn't draw porn.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:More nny porn.jpg|Again, NOT porn!
Image:The Pillows Provoked Me.jpg|[[Masturbation|What Ted does when she's not pretending to die]]
Image:Ohwhatthefuck.jpg|Is nothing sacred?
Image:TEDisDED.gif|Did we mention that Ted-Drakness also faked her own death?
Image:LeavingSheezyArtBWAAAAAA.gif|I HAET YOU I HAET YOU SO MUCH
Image:recovery.jpg|Sometimes you just have to get away when DA reminds you of heartbreak...
Image:obsessive.jpg|Anon comes to our defense. Ted says, "NO U!!"
Image:Stop watching me pee by Ted Drakness.jpg|Ted-Drakness enjoys piss.
Image:Months Later by Ted Drakness.jpg|Oh lawd, is dat sum [[Mpreg]]?
Image:IdiotTedDrakness.jpg|CRAWLING IN MY SKINNNNNNNNNN
Image:Dib likes Toys.jpg|...Totally not a [[pedophile]].
Image:Teddy Sayz.jpg|Yet more proof she's absolutely NOT a [[pedophile]].
Image:AliensGotTedDrakness.gif|Ted got abducted by aliens. Srsly guyz.
Image:MolestedTedDrakness.gif|Wut.
Image:MyVoicesSezTedDrakness.gif|Ted [[Lies|talks to dead people.]]
Image:FUJV.jpg|DAMN THE MAN!
Image:Imafag teddrakness.JPG|Ted says she NEVER pretend to be a guy...But The WayBackMachine says otherwise.[http://web.archive.org/web/20051101034248/http://ted-drakness.deviantart.com/]
Image:Momhatesdadmolests teddrakness.JPG|Ted. Product of incest.
Image:TedDrakness-poetrycom-lol.jpg|Because winning something at poetry.com totally means you have talent.
Image:TedDrakness_Mmy_Tattoo.jpg|Ashley's supposed tattoo. For her sake, we seriously hope it's just Sharpie marker.
Image:TedDrakness how many lix.jpg
Image:TedDrakness Confusion.jpg|AND SHE'S A FURRY TO TOP IT ALL OFF.
Image:TedDrakness Bit Of Yuri.jpg|'''xtreme''' arms
Image:TedDrakness Not Fair.jpg
Image:TedDrakness bloodydildo FU JV.jpg|In her spare time, Ashley enjoys writing angry messages in blood on her dildos and taking pictures of them. "FUCK YOU JHONEN."
Image:TedDrakness_strapon.jpg|Note the lint particles stuck to the head.
Image:TedDrakness MmyXShake.jpg|what is this i dont even
Image:TedDrakness another ID.jpg
Image:Cute Kitty by Ted Drakness.jpg|How could you say she didn't draw it? You dick, she just has a talent for drawing like shit too.
Image:Wolf by Ted Drakness.jpg|Limiting pallet = painting
Image:OldYearbook_TDrakness.jpg|Her ugly dead boyfriend/cousin a.k.a. the love of her life. BAAWW!
Image:Realjimmy.jpg|What Ted's obsession Jimmy would look like in real life.
Image:Jawbreaker moment.jpg|According to Ted Elephantiasis is sexy and Nny has a skirt fetish.
Image:Sex fiend.jpg| because nothing breathing or otherwise would do something so fucking ugly AND crazy.
Image:You2.jpg| even Mmy himself DOES NOT WANT the disgusting greasy skank that is Ted.
Image:Last minute babysitter by Ted Drakness.jpg| Another reason to hide your kids from Ted-Drakness.
Image:Tedtag.jpg| The excuse of depraved lunatic psychos and pedophiles everywhere.



</gallery>
|}}

==External Links==
*{{deviantart|ted-drakness}}
*{{deviantart|invaderpoe}} - His butthurt "girlfriend". Inactive since 2024 due to having a child irl.
*{{lj|user=teddrakness}}
*[http://www.myspace.com/jimmyzbiggestfan Ted-Drakness' MySpace]
*[http://yaoi.y-gallery.net/user/teddrakness/ Ted-Drakness at Y!Gallery]
*[http://teddrakness.sheezyart.com/ Ted-Drakness at Sheezyart]
*[http://ted-drakness.deviantart.com/art/Dress-Up-JCV-57592447 "LOL LET'S PLAY DRESS UP!"]
*[http://cub_eddy.tripod.com/index.html "Club Eddy" Fansite (Inactive since 2003)]
*[http://dap-o.deviantart.com/journal/Tork-my-sweet-boy-Y-U-CHEAT-ON-ME-218331998 "Ted's remaining proof of bullshit on DA"]

[Banned Galleries]
[List of Banned Galleries]
0

<div id="example" style="padding: 5px; border: 1px solid black;">
*{{deviantart|gasping-trashcan}}
*{{deviantart|sluggie}}
*{{deviantart|bloody-orange}}
*{{deviantart|skitzo-toast}}
*{{deviantart|toasted-skitzo}}</div>
{{DA}}

[[Category:DeviantART]][[Category:People]]

Kingcobrajfs

2026-06-07T03:18:36Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Ohhhh new template soyface

{{needsmoar}}
{{Fact|OMG KIWIFARMS KILLED HIM!!!}}
{{Template:Deadcow}}
[[File:kingcobrajfsside.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Kingcobra |Chicks dig bad boy goths who sing and play guitar.]]
{{ytlink|we0L-FJ3Hkg|KingcobraJFS}} ([[Powerword]]: '''Josh Saunders''') was an [[autistic]] 'goth' [[YouTuber]] from Casper, [[Wyoming]]. Josh's 'content' mostly consisted of bad guitar playing, vocal covers of goth bands like Nickelback, cooking videos, drink reviews and the occasional outside video where he rides his green beach cruiser. Josh was very delusional and thought that he could sing like famous singers, play guitar extremely well and also that he had a big penis.

You'll notice that was in the past tense because he's dead now.

==The Documentary==

Josh is widely known for his documentary on YouTube by a filmmaker named Trappped. The documentary goes through an average day with Josh, drinking Jagermeister with his loser friends in Casper Wyoming. Josh discusses his drug habits, being bullied in high-school and the love of his life (who he lost shortly after the documentary because they were cheating on each other) Stephanie.

{{center|'''<big>Goth King Cobra by Trappped</big>'''}}
{{center|<youtube>CvhchxHUCA0</youtube>}}

==Gothickingcobra52==

[[File:KingCobraAtLevelOne.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Kingcobra, |Josh with a bowl haircut living with his parents.]]
Josh started making videos on his first account gothickingcobra52 in about 2011. The channel itself was created on June 13, 2010, but he didn't start to gain traction until about July 2011. It is unclear when exactly he published his first ever video. In the beginning, Josh's videos were quite good, he would talk about being bullied in school for being a retard, perving on hot girls in his class, magic and his own religion. Josh has a tattoo of the 'S' symbol kids used to draw in school, but it looks like a dick. Josh talks a lot about being [goth|goth] in his videos, his favorite goth bands are Ozzy Osbourne, Nickleback and other shitty bands. Josh being a retard ended up getting his account deleted by trolls.

{{center| [[File:What is Goth.mp4|640px|frameless]]}}

==Guitar playing==

Josh is an amazing guitar player shown from this video. Josh autistically strums his guitar really fast and thinks he is really fucking good.

{{center|[[File:Bad ass guitar video 360p February 12- 2013 KingCobraJFS KingCobraJFS -CRQFlcVW6D4- DUNpi6DMM5w.mp4|640px|frameless|]]}}

Thankfully Josh usually ends up smashing his guitars in an autistic rage.

{{center|[[File:Smashing my guitar 2016-05-10.mp4|640px|frameless|center]]}}

==Mad Cooking Skillz==
Cobz is world famous for his ability as a master youtube chef. He specializes in Roach Burritos, Mountain Dew hardboiled eggs, fries cooked in motor oil, and any other concoction he can think up. He is male witch at his cauldron. Gordon Ramsay, eat your fucking heart out.

==Drunkard==
After moving into a trailer, he is constantly drunk and angry and he took comment privileges away from his fans, saying that they are "bullying" him. Boo hoo!

To be fair, harassing KingCobraJFS is cringe anti-lulz behavior because if he leaves cyberspace no one will be able to extract lulz from him anymore. Still, deactivating comments shows that he has no spine left.

He also cant decide if he wants to be transphobic or not because of hermaphrodite fetish. What a fucking racist nazi.

It is only a matter of time until he drinks himself to death like the hedonistic degenerate that he is.

Unless he starts caring about his health, but that ain't likely.

==Drank Himself To Death==
[[File:KingCobraJFS-deadArticle.png|300px|thumb|right|RIP IN PEACE]]Turns out caring about his health ''wasn't'' going to be likely, because come August 2025, he ended up dying. No official cause of death released yet, but apparently it was "Death by [[Ozzy Osbourne]]". Specifically, after Ozzy died, KingCobraJFS's health got worse than it actually was, and that tipped him over the edge to eventual liver damage.

Cobra's dad ended up making a video about the whole thing... it's some real shit:

<center><youtube>5ZrI3SVfAf0</youtube></center>

{{clear}}

He also managed to make the news with his death. A compilation of news articles will be compiled below.

*[https://archive.ph/c0dhZ]
*[https://archive.ph/tPpzY]
*[https://archive.ph/0hK62]

==Gallery of autism==
{{cg|KingCobraJFS|Sexy autistic goth|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:KingCobraAtLevelZero.jpg|Josh and his father
File:MommyCobra.jpg|Doxxing his own mother on stream
File:JoshBB.jpg|Doing his best [[Randy Robert Stair]] Impression
File:RoachBurrito.jpg|The infamous Roach burrito
File:KingCobraAtLevel33.jpg|What he looks like nowadays
File:JoshMagicWand.jpg|KingCobra plays with his little Cobra
File:KingCobraRedneck.jpg|Silas Robertson?
</gallery>}}

==Videos==
<center><youtube>47mrK7CAJtU</youtube></center>

==External links==
* [https://archive.org/details/my-life-story-so-far/A+Fail+in+our+educational+system.mp4 Archive of over 100 ancient videos of his]
* {{Kf|22713|Kiwi Farms thread}}
* [https://youtube.fandom.com/wiki/KingCobraJFS Wikitubia page]
* {{reddit|KingCobraJFS00}}
* [https://pholder.com/r/kingcobrajfs/| r/Kingcobrajfs archive] – r/kingcobrajfs was banned, here is an image archive.
* [https://archive.ph/HWgrg Journalism article from 2011 reporting on his antics]
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Renamed_user_f9f8e85d8951171a97f523abe389ce08/sandbox&oldid=1311629745 Fake wikipedia page]

{{music}}
{{Dying Alone}}
{{Foods}}
{{Goth}}
{{Aspies}}
{{Lolcows}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Goth]]
[[Category:Fat]]
[[Category:Wiccans]]

{{timeline|Article of the Now August 26 & 27, [[2025]]|[[Dying Alone]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Dirty Disney Confessions]]}}

User:Couscous/Sandbox

2026-06-07T01:34:07Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Words are but wind

{{UserSandbox}}


==Jelly Pirates==
{{Forcedmeme}}

'''Jelly Pirates''' is a [[forced meme]] on 4chan's [[b/|/b/]] board. A Jelly Pirate thread will usually have a shooped or [[AI artwork|AI slop]] image of a pirate holding Welch's brand grape jelly, followed by the poster either telling you to join now or be gay, how you're too much of a [[newfag]] to remember the supposed Jelly Pirate raids of '06, or somehow tying it back to the king of current /b/, [[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit|Andy Sixx]].

Despite what Jelly Niggers will tell you, this is still a somewhat virgining meme, with discourse of it only kept for the [[faggots|cool kids]] who still use 4chan.

===Phrases===
''Wanna [[LARP]] as a trve Jellyposter? We got you covered, with these phrases you'll fit right it! Don't forget to [[spam]]!

*Jelly much?
*NIGGER FAGGOT JEW PISS SHIT CUNT

===List of people who are Jellyposters===
*[[Donald Trump]]
*[[Alex Pretti]]
*[[Greta Thunberg]]

===Gallery===

{{cg|'''Gallery'''|jellygallery|center|<gallery
perrow="5">
File:1702000375673672.jpg
File:1702365446150457.jpg
File:1702513260705512.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:1704058721369286.jpg
File:1763877859533773.jpg
File:1768879207383274.jpg
File:1768887031745347.jpg
File:1768958594794575.jpg
File:1769439572041534.jpg
File:1769571267744546.jpg
File:1769720487949517.jpg
File:1770253726788981.jpg
File:1770527161058595.jpg
File:1772258355436268.jpg
File:1772300791058118.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===See Also===
*[[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit]]
*[[Unfunny]]

{{Cancer}}

==Looney Tunes==
{{Offended}}

'''Looney Tunes''' is an [[old meme]] of a cartoon, with it being around for so long many things have come from it.

===Origins===
===Characters===

Although now seen as iconic or "non-problematic", the ideas for some of the original line up of characters were either an ordinary anthropomorphic animal, or a racist caricature of an anthropomorphic animal.

===Space Jam===
===Video Games===
===Memes===
===Racist Shit===
===Anti-Nazis===
===The Looney Tunes Show===
===Gallery===
===Videos===

{{Portals|furries|tv}}
{{Comics}}
{{Cartoons}}

=={{Glowtext|Tim Pool}}==

Other than the likes of [[Hasan Piker]], political media has never seen a bigger grifter than '''Tim Pool'''. A current [[Russian]] puppet and political [[Bisexual]], his tactic of fence sitting on certain issues, only playing into an idea hard when it benefits him the most, has given him an audience of clueless retards, who only enjoy his content when it tells them what they want to hear. Despite being a grifter, Tim claims to be a centrist when it comes to politics to save him from any criticism regarding the fact. He hosts his show the TimCast, where he either interviews political adjacent personalities, or gives his worthless takes on current happenings. Whenever he does give a "hot-take", it is always bafflingly retarded. When retarded chimp Karmelo Anthony killed Austin Metcalf, Tim gave the take that it was justified.

Tim has a severe case of [[Internet tough guy]], and will try to convince he's more than just a bald [[manlet]].

Here is a list of the people who Tim has been able to get to appear on his show:

*[[Kanye West]]
*[[Nick Fuentes]]
*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Milo Yiannopoulos]]
*[[TheQuartering]]
*[[Alex Jones]]
*[[Candace Owens]]
*[[Ben Shapiro]]
*[[ComicsGate|Eric July]]
*[[Steven Bonnell II]]
*[[Sargon of Akkad]]
*[[The Donald|Donald Trump]]
*[[Joe Rogan]]
*[[Kyle Rittenhouse]]
*[[Knife Game|Rusty Cage]]
*[[Israel|Benjamin Netanyahu]]

===Videos===

<center><youtube>2zkebVTmrs</youtube></center>

===See Also===
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - His brother, Chris "Reactor" Pool is friends with Mumkey and is actually based.
*[[Charlie Kirk]] - Tim is the origin of the "Sources tell me [blank] is stable" copypasta.

{{Truth}}
{{Politics}}
{{Russia}}

==Art Template==

<div style="{{roundy|.75em}}; width:80%; margin:.5em auto .5em auto; border:.2em solid black; background:#8B0000; clear:both;"><div style="text-align:center; padding:.2em; font-size:1.3em; font-weight:bold;">'''{{{title|{{PAGENAME}}}}}''' is part of a series on '''[[Art]]'''</div><div style="clear:both;"></div><div style="width:100%;text-align:center; padding:.2em .75em .2em .75em;">[EraseGraphic Design is My Passion]</div>
{| style="background:inherit; color:inherit; font-size:.95em;" id="mw-customcollapsible-templatearts" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
| rowspan="4" | [[File:deathconsciousness.jpg|170px]]
! style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Artists:'''</big>
| style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | 

[[Adolf Hitler]] •
[[Akira Toriyama]] •
[[Ben Bocquelet]] •
[[Carlos Ramirez]] •
[[Charles Manson]] •
[[Daniel Johnston]] •
[[Leonardo Da Vinci]] •
[[Frank Miller]] •
[[George Bush]] •
[[GradeAUnderA]] •
[[Sharty 'Jakkers]] •
[[James Rolfe]] •
[[John Edward Robinson]] •
[[John Kricfalusi]] •
[[John Solomon]] •
[[John Wayne Gacy]] •
[[Kanye West]] •
[[Mike Judge]] •
[[R. Crumb]] •
[[Salvador Dali]] •
[[Sam Hyde]] •
[[StamperTV]] •
[[Thomas Kinkade]] •
[[Tim Burton]] •
[[Tubgirl]] •
[[Wyatt Mann]] •
[[Vincent van Gogh]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Select Pieces of Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Burzum]] •
[[Captain Underpants]] •
[[Caspar Milquetoast]] •
[[Charlie The Unicorn]] •
[[Cow Tools]] •
[[Circuit Bending]] •
[[Dilbert]] •
[[Dogisaga]] •
[[Duckman]] •
[[Fritz The Cat]] •
[[Garbage Pail Kids]] •
[[Good Burger]] •
[[Goosebumps Book Covers]] •
[[Happy Merchant]] •
[[Joe Camel]] •
[[Kilroy Was Here]] •
[[Loss]] •
[[Magic The Gathering]] •
[[Monty Python]] •
[[Muhammad Cartoons]] •
[[Peanuts]] •
[[Ren and Stimpy]] •
[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] •
[[Watchmen]] •
[[Weird Al Yankovic]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Anti-Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Animu]]s •
[[Banksy]] •
[[Chris Chan]] •
[[Chick tracts]] •
[[Empress Theresa]] •
[[George Lucas]] •
[[Hayao Miyazaki]] •
[[Kengle]] •
[[Ken Penders]] •
[[Kurt Cobain]] •
[[JohnOfE]] •
[[MAD Magazine]] •
[[My Little Pony]] •
[[Shmorky]] •
[[The Simpsons]] •
[[TheOdd1sOut]] •
[[TomSka]] •
[[Trey Parker]] and [[Matt Stone]] •
[[Virgil Abloh]] •
[[Yoko Ono]]

|-
! style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Related Topics:'''</big>
| style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[co/|/co/]] •
[[Avant-Garde]] •
[[Etsy]] •
[[Face-painter|Face-Painting]] •
[[Fan Art]] •
[[Fan Fiction]] •
[[Furry Art]] •
[[Hate Art]] •
[[Internet Art]] •
[[Menstrual Painting]] •
[[Music]] •
[[MS Paint]] •
[[Shitty Art]] •
[[Tracing]]

|}</div>

==Whang==

'''Justin Whang''' (yes his last name is really [[wang]]) or as he's known on [[JewTube]], '''Whang''', stylized as '''Whang!''', is an [[Asian]] YouTube video essayist who makes videos about various Internet Related topics. From [[Pony Cum Jar Project]], to [[Lowtax]] V. [[Uwe Boll]], his videos are an encyclopedia of sorts for the [[Normies|common man]].

===Maddox===

{{portals|youtube|chans|trolls|music}}
{{Azn}}
{{Goth}}
{{Maddox}}
{{Ytmnd}}

==Tranny Template==

Ok so i feel like this might be a good idea since theres a lot of troon articles. I'll start working on it later. or not idk

'''Stunning and Brave'''

*[[Ahuviya Harel]]
*[[Alex Mauer]]
*[[Anna Anthropy]]
*[[Blaire White]]
*[[Bluefolf]]
*[[Brianna Wu]]
*[[Bruce Jenner]]
*[[Bubba Copeland]]
*[[Burntfishie]]
*[[Charles Ziese]]
*[[Chloe Sagal]]
*[[Chris Crocker]]
*[[Chris Tyson]]
*[[Christine Weston Chandler]]
*[[CopperCab]]
*[[Diogo Mendes]]
*[[Dylan Mulvaney]]
*[[Giggly Goonclown]]
*[[Goddess Bunny]]
*[[Naxinet]]
*[[Hypnotist Sappho]]
*[[Jazz Jennings]]
*[[Jeffrey Dahmer]]
*[[Keffals]]
*[[Kim Petras]]
*[[Laurelai]]
*[[Luke Mochrie]]
*[[Narcissa Wright]]
*[[Pieman]]
*[[Randy Stair]]
*[[Robin Westman]]
*[[Sarah Butts]]
*[[Sewerslvt]]
*[[SpaxxTraxx]]
*[[Troonjak]]
*[[Willem Van Spronsen]]
*[[Xenuria]]

'''Cross-Dressers'''

*[[Ed Gein]]
*[[Nick Bate]]
*[[Smartschoolboy9]]

'''Pooners'''

*[[Audrey Hale]]
*[[Birdie]]
*[[Jessi Slaughter]]

'''Chasers'''

*[[Count Dankula]]
*[[Eddie Murphy]]
*[[Jacob Sockness]]
*[[Tipster]]
*[[Tyler Robinson]]
*[[You]]

'''Enemies'''

*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Nazis]]
*[[Null]]
*[[J.K. Rowling]]
*[[Kid Rock]]
*[[Kiwi Farms]]
*[[Ray William Johnson]]

'''Pasttimes'''

*[[r9k/|/r9k/]]
*[[Antiwork|r/Antiwork]]
*[[Grooming]]
*[[HRT]]
*[[Plastic Surgery]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[Twitter]]

'''See Also'''

*[[Assigned Male]]
*[[Bridget]]
*[[Bud Light]]
*[[Femboys]]
*[[Male Gaze]]
*[[Rocko's Modern Life]]
*[[Ted Kaczynski]]
*[[Traps]]

==Penguinz0==

{{Lolcow2}}

[[File:Penquinz0Greentext1.jpg|thumb|The default skin of commentary jewtubers.]]

'''Penguinz0''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Charles Christopher White Jr''') is the current king of the shitpile known as [[Reddit]], and typically falsely claimed as a commentary YouTuber. His content is about drama and current news, but similar to someone like [[Boogie2988]], he never gives a real take, and will either fence-sit, or say the general consensus. This has earned himself a community of sexually confused [[Tumblrina]]s who worship him for virtue signaling.

Before becoming a [[cuckold]] he started off making gameplay videos and [[incel]] storytimes. The ladder of which would make him begin to see growth in views and subscribers. His ancient gameplay videos of him playing [[Halo]], [[Gears of War]], and [[Call of Duty: Black Ops 4]] have been lost to time, and now are considered lost media. While his storytimes are still up, being as he's less embarrassed about them than fucking gameplay footage. In these videos, he would talk about masturbation funnies, and being so cripplingly autistic, that he thought acting like Light Yagami from Deathnote would get him pussy, when it just made him look like [[Seung Hui Cho]]. This "openness", willing to be a shamefag for comedy, and safe-edgy jokes about [[dildos]] and [[small cock]]s would get him a strong fanbase of redditards who worship him.

[[Sneako]], is a [[pedophile]] [[Muslim]] who hates Charlie because he didn't like his favorite [[child porn]] film, [[Cuties]]. Instead of just [[trolling]] him, Charlie chose to flex his epic and tough gun collection, to win the argument or something. As recent as 2024, Charlie would get into a debate about [[tranny|trannism]] and the age of consent with [[Sneako]]. In this debate, he would reveal that he is okay with kids transitioning at a young age if their parents consented. This caused tons of backlash, leading to him leaving his podcast, quitting Twitter, making a cope YouTube response video, and saying he was taking a break from drama content.

===See Also===
*[[Def Noodles]]
*[[H3H3 Productions]]
*[[LeafyIsHere]]
*[[MamaMax]] - "I CAN RUIN YOUR CAREER, BUT I CHOOSE NOT TO"
*[[SomeOrdinaryGamers]]

===External Links===
*{{yt|@|Penguinz0}}
*{{Kfthread|136125|KF thread}}
*[https://lostmediawiki.com/Cr1TiKaL_(partially_found_early_videos_of_YouTuber_Penguinz0;_2007-2010) LostMediaWiki entry on his lost videos]

{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{Lolcows}}
{{Lpers}}
{{RedditSeries}}

==Adam22==

Adam22 ([[Powerword]]: '''Adam John Grandmaison''') is the host and creator of the failing podcast business '''No Jumper'''. His popularity, or most accurately his show's popularity began to see prominence in [[2016]] to [[2017]], through the guest appearances he was able to score.

Before podcasting, Adam dabbled in credit card fraud, but wouldn't stay to long in the biz due to his friends getting caught and sent to jail. He then became the owner of a BMX forum, which had a blog section for himself. In this blog section, he admitted to having DMd a teenage girl while being in his 20s.

Appearance wise he is covered in tattoos despite being a mayo monkey and thus he would be the type of person you avoid if you saw them on the streets despite the fact he is a cumskin and not a [[nigger|usual suspect]].

===No Jumper===

In it's prime, No Jumper saw many, shitty [[SoundCloud]] rappers appear before they were obsessed over by teen girls and stoner manchildren. This made it a hotspot for wiggers who thought they could be the next [[6ix9ine]]. This would then over saturate the market, causing a disinterest in the podcast, not to mention the rappers who did appear on the podcast, literally dying out.

===Whore + Cuckhold===

{{quote|Overall I’m glad we did it and I’m happy to report her vagina has returned to its original pre-BBC size.|Adam22's catchphrase}}

He married a porn "star" and some weeks later she commited beastilality with a big, bad, stinky mulatto nigger on video.

Similar to [[Turkey Tom]] and [[Idubbbz]], this prompted the epic internet hoarde to decend upon Adam and call him a cuck.

File:Penquinz0Greentext1.jpg

2026-06-07T01:32:58Z

LordGrimThInvincible: First greentext of him, of many

== Summary ==
First greentext of him, of many

User:Couscous/Sandbox

2026-06-07T01:28:52Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Gotta make fun of the wigger for having 6 gorillian tattoos.

{{UserSandbox}}


==Jelly Pirates==
{{Forcedmeme}}

'''Jelly Pirates''' is a [[forced meme]] on 4chan's [[b/|/b/]] board. A Jelly Pirate thread will usually have a shooped or [[AI artwork|AI slop]] image of a pirate holding Welch's brand grape jelly, followed by the poster either telling you to join now or be gay, how you're too much of a [[newfag]] to remember the supposed Jelly Pirate raids of '06, or somehow tying it back to the king of current /b/, [[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit|Andy Sixx]].

Despite what Jelly Niggers will tell you, this is still a somewhat virgining meme, with discourse of it only kept for the [[faggots|cool kids]] who still use 4chan.

===Phrases===
''Wanna [[LARP]] as a trve Jellyposter? We got you covered, with these phrases you'll fit right it! Don't forget to [[spam]]!

*Jelly much?
*NIGGER FAGGOT JEW PISS SHIT CUNT

===List of people who are Jellyposters===
*[[Donald Trump]]
*[[Alex Pretti]]
*[[Greta Thunberg]]

===Gallery===

{{cg|'''Gallery'''|jellygallery|center|<gallery
perrow="5">
File:1702000375673672.jpg
File:1702365446150457.jpg
File:1702513260705512.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:1704058721369286.jpg
File:1763877859533773.jpg
File:1768879207383274.jpg
File:1768887031745347.jpg
File:1768958594794575.jpg
File:1769439572041534.jpg
File:1769571267744546.jpg
File:1769720487949517.jpg
File:1770253726788981.jpg
File:1770527161058595.jpg
File:1772258355436268.jpg
File:1772300791058118.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===See Also===
*[[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit]]
*[[Unfunny]]

{{Cancer}}

==Looney Tunes==
{{Offended}}

'''Looney Tunes''' is an [[old meme]] of a cartoon, with it being around for so long many things have come from it.

===Origins===
===Characters===

Although now seen as iconic or "non-problematic", the ideas for some of the original line up of characters were either an ordinary anthropomorphic animal, or a racist caricature of an anthropomorphic animal.

===Space Jam===
===Video Games===
===Memes===
===Racist Shit===
===Anti-Nazis===
===The Looney Tunes Show===
===Gallery===
===Videos===

{{Portals|furries|tv}}
{{Comics}}
{{Cartoons}}

=={{Glowtext|Tim Pool}}==

Other than the likes of [[Hasan Piker]], political media has never seen a bigger grifter than '''Tim Pool'''. A current [[Russian]] puppet and political [[Bisexual]], his tactic of fence sitting on certain issues, only playing into an idea hard when it benefits him the most, has given him an audience of clueless retards, who only enjoy his content when it tells them what they want to hear. Despite being a grifter, Tim claims to be a centrist when it comes to politics to save him from any criticism regarding the fact. He hosts his show the TimCast, where he either interviews political adjacent personalities, or gives his worthless takes on current happenings. Whenever he does give a "hot-take", it is always bafflingly retarded. When retarded chimp Karmelo Anthony killed Austin Metcalf, Tim gave the take that it was justified.

Tim has a severe case of [[Internet tough guy]], and will try to convince he's more than just a bald [[manlet]].

Here is a list of the people who Tim has been able to get to appear on his show:

*[[Kanye West]]
*[[Nick Fuentes]]
*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Milo Yiannopoulos]]
*[[TheQuartering]]
*[[Alex Jones]]
*[[Candace Owens]]
*[[Ben Shapiro]]
*[[ComicsGate|Eric July]]
*[[Steven Bonnell II]]
*[[Sargon of Akkad]]
*[[The Donald|Donald Trump]]
*[[Joe Rogan]]
*[[Kyle Rittenhouse]]
*[[Knife Game|Rusty Cage]]
*[[Israel|Benjamin Netanyahu]]

===Videos===

<center><youtube>2zkebVTmrs</youtube></center>

===See Also===
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - His brother, Chris "Reactor" Pool is friends with Mumkey and is actually based.
*[[Charlie Kirk]] - Tim is the origin of the "Sources tell me [blank] is stable" copypasta.

{{Truth}}
{{Politics}}
{{Russia}}

==Art Template==

<div style="{{roundy|.75em}}; width:80%; margin:.5em auto .5em auto; border:.2em solid black; background:#8B0000; clear:both;"><div style="text-align:center; padding:.2em; font-size:1.3em; font-weight:bold;">'''{{{title|{{PAGENAME}}}}}''' is part of a series on '''[[Art]]'''</div><div style="clear:both;"></div><div style="width:100%;text-align:center; padding:.2em .75em .2em .75em;">[EraseGraphic Design is My Passion]</div>
{| style="background:inherit; color:inherit; font-size:.95em;" id="mw-customcollapsible-templatearts" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
| rowspan="4" | [[File:deathconsciousness.jpg|170px]]
! style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Artists:'''</big>
| style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | 

[[Adolf Hitler]] •
[[Akira Toriyama]] •
[[Ben Bocquelet]] •
[[Carlos Ramirez]] •
[[Charles Manson]] •
[[Daniel Johnston]] •
[[Leonardo Da Vinci]] •
[[Frank Miller]] •
[[George Bush]] •
[[GradeAUnderA]] •
[[Sharty 'Jakkers]] •
[[James Rolfe]] •
[[John Edward Robinson]] •
[[John Kricfalusi]] •
[[John Solomon]] •
[[John Wayne Gacy]] •
[[Kanye West]] •
[[Mike Judge]] •
[[R. Crumb]] •
[[Salvador Dali]] •
[[Sam Hyde]] •
[[StamperTV]] •
[[Thomas Kinkade]] •
[[Tim Burton]] •
[[Tubgirl]] •
[[Wyatt Mann]] •
[[Vincent van Gogh]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Select Pieces of Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Burzum]] •
[[Captain Underpants]] •
[[Caspar Milquetoast]] •
[[Charlie The Unicorn]] •
[[Cow Tools]] •
[[Circuit Bending]] •
[[Dilbert]] •
[[Dogisaga]] •
[[Duckman]] •
[[Fritz The Cat]] •
[[Garbage Pail Kids]] •
[[Good Burger]] •
[[Goosebumps Book Covers]] •
[[Happy Merchant]] •
[[Joe Camel]] •
[[Kilroy Was Here]] •
[[Loss]] •
[[Magic The Gathering]] •
[[Monty Python]] •
[[Muhammad Cartoons]] •
[[Peanuts]] •
[[Ren and Stimpy]] •
[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] •
[[Watchmen]] •
[[Weird Al Yankovic]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Anti-Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Animu]]s •
[[Banksy]] •
[[Chris Chan]] •
[[Chick tracts]] •
[[Empress Theresa]] •
[[George Lucas]] •
[[Hayao Miyazaki]] •
[[Kengle]] •
[[Ken Penders]] •
[[Kurt Cobain]] •
[[JohnOfE]] •
[[MAD Magazine]] •
[[My Little Pony]] •
[[Shmorky]] •
[[The Simpsons]] •
[[TheOdd1sOut]] •
[[TomSka]] •
[[Trey Parker]] and [[Matt Stone]] •
[[Virgil Abloh]] •
[[Yoko Ono]]

|-
! style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Related Topics:'''</big>
| style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[co/|/co/]] •
[[Avant-Garde]] •
[[Etsy]] •
[[Face-painter|Face-Painting]] •
[[Fan Art]] •
[[Fan Fiction]] •
[[Furry Art]] •
[[Hate Art]] •
[[Internet Art]] •
[[Menstrual Painting]] •
[[Music]] •
[[MS Paint]] •
[[Shitty Art]] •
[[Tracing]]

|}</div>

==Whang==

'''Justin Whang''' (yes his last name is really [[wang]]) or as he's known on [[JewTube]], '''Whang''', stylized as '''Whang!''', is an [[Asian]] YouTube video essayist who makes videos about various Internet Related topics. From [[Pony Cum Jar Project]], to [[Lowtax]] V. [[Uwe Boll]], his videos are an encyclopedia of sorts for the [[Normies|common man]].

===Maddox===

{{portals|youtube|chans|trolls|music}}
{{Azn}}
{{Goth}}
{{Maddox}}
{{Ytmnd}}

==Tranny Template==

Ok so i feel like this might be a good idea since theres a lot of troon articles. I'll start working on it later. or not idk

'''Stunning and Brave'''

*[[Ahuviya Harel]]
*[[Alex Mauer]]
*[[Anna Anthropy]]
*[[Blaire White]]
*[[Bluefolf]]
*[[Brianna Wu]]
*[[Bruce Jenner]]
*[[Bubba Copeland]]
*[[Burntfishie]]
*[[Charles Ziese]]
*[[Chloe Sagal]]
*[[Chris Crocker]]
*[[Chris Tyson]]
*[[Christine Weston Chandler]]
*[[CopperCab]]
*[[Diogo Mendes]]
*[[Dylan Mulvaney]]
*[[Giggly Goonclown]]
*[[Goddess Bunny]]
*[[Naxinet]]
*[[Hypnotist Sappho]]
*[[Jazz Jennings]]
*[[Jeffrey Dahmer]]
*[[Keffals]]
*[[Kim Petras]]
*[[Laurelai]]
*[[Luke Mochrie]]
*[[Narcissa Wright]]
*[[Pieman]]
*[[Randy Stair]]
*[[Robin Westman]]
*[[Sarah Butts]]
*[[Sewerslvt]]
*[[SpaxxTraxx]]
*[[Troonjak]]
*[[Willem Van Spronsen]]
*[[Xenuria]]

'''Cross-Dressers'''

*[[Ed Gein]]
*[[Nick Bate]]
*[[Smartschoolboy9]]

'''Pooners'''

*[[Audrey Hale]]
*[[Birdie]]
*[[Jessi Slaughter]]

'''Chasers'''

*[[Count Dankula]]
*[[Eddie Murphy]]
*[[Jacob Sockness]]
*[[Tipster]]
*[[Tyler Robinson]]
*[[You]]

'''Enemies'''

*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Nazis]]
*[[Null]]
*[[J.K. Rowling]]
*[[Kid Rock]]
*[[Kiwi Farms]]
*[[Ray William Johnson]]

'''Pasttimes'''

*[[r9k/|/r9k/]]
*[[Antiwork|r/Antiwork]]
*[[Grooming]]
*[[HRT]]
*[[Plastic Surgery]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[Twitter]]

'''See Also'''

*[[Assigned Male]]
*[[Bridget]]
*[[Bud Light]]
*[[Femboys]]
*[[Male Gaze]]
*[[Rocko's Modern Life]]
*[[Ted Kaczynski]]
*[[Traps]]

==Penguinz0==

{{Lolcow2}}

'''Penguinz0''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Charles Christopher White Jr''') is the current king of the shitpile known as [[Reddit]], and typically falsely claimed as a commentary YouTuber. His content is about drama and current news, but similar to someone like [[Boogie2988]], he never gives a real take, and will either fence-sit, or say the general consensus. This has earned himself a community of sexually confused [[Tumblrina]]s who worship him for virtue signaling.

Before becoming a [[cuckold]] he started off making gameplay videos and [[incel]] storytimes. The ladder of which would make him begin to see growth in views and subscribers. His ancient gameplay videos of him playing [[Halo]], [[Gears of War]], and [[Call of Duty: Black Ops 4]] have been lost to time, and now are considered lost media. While his storytimes are still up, being as he's less embarrassed about them than fucking gameplay footage. In these videos, he would talk about masturbation funnies, and being so cripplingly autistic, that he thought acting like Light Yagami from Deathnote would get him pussy, when it just made him look like [[Seung Hui Cho]]. This "openness", willing to be a shamefag for comedy, and safe-edgy jokes about [[dildos]] and [[small cock]]s would get him a strong fanbase of redditards who worship him.

[[Sneako]], is a [[pedophile]] [[Muslim]] who hates Charlie because he didn't like his favorite [[child porn]] film, [[Cuties]]. Instead of just [[trolling]] him, Charlie chose to flex his epic and tough gun collection, to win the argument or something. As recent as 2024, Charlie would get into a debate about [[tranny|trannism]] and the age of consent with [[Sneako]]. In this debate, he would reveal that he is okay with kids transitioning at a young age if their parents consented. This caused tons of backlash, leading to him leaving his podcast, quitting Twitter, making a cope YouTube response video, and saying he was taking a break from drama content.

===See Also===
*[[Def Noodles]]
*[[H3H3 Productions]]
*[[LeafyIsHere]]
*[[MamaMax]] - "I CAN RUIN YOUR CAREER, BUT I CHOOSE NOT TO"
*[[SomeOrdinaryGamers]]

===External Links===
*{{yt|@|Penguinz0}}
*{{Kfthread|136125|KF thread}}
*[https://lostmediawiki.com/Cr1TiKaL_(partially_found_early_videos_of_YouTuber_Penguinz0;_2007-2010) LostMediaWiki entry on his lost videos]

{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{Lolcows}}
{{Lpers}}
{{RedditSeries}}

==Adam22==

Adam22 ([[Powerword]]: '''Adam John Grandmaison''') is the host and creator of the failing podcast business '''No Jumper'''. His popularity, or most accurately his show's popularity began to see prominence in [[2016]] to [[2017]], through the guest appearances he was able to score.

Before podcasting, Adam dabbled in credit card fraud, but wouldn't stay to long in the biz due to his friends getting caught and sent to jail. He then became the owner of a BMX forum, which had a blog section for himself. In this blog section, he admitted to having DMd a teenage girl while being in his 20s.

Appearance wise he is covered in tattoos despite being a mayo monkey and thus he would be the type of person you avoid if you saw them on the streets despite the fact he is a cumskin and not a [[nigger|usual suspect]].

===No Jumper===

In it's prime, No Jumper saw many, shitty [[SoundCloud]] rappers appear before they were obsessed over by teen girls and stoner manchildren. This made it a hotspot for wiggers who thought they could be the next [[6ix9ine]]. This would then over saturate the market, causing a disinterest in the podcast, not to mention the rappers who did appear on the podcast, literally dying out.

===Whore + Cuckhold===

{{quote|Overall I’m glad we did it and I’m happy to report her vagina has returned to its original pre-BBC size.|Adam22's catchphrase}}

He married a porn "star" and some weeks later she commited beastilality with a big, bad, stinky mulatto nigger on video.

Similar to [[Turkey Tom]] and [[Idubbbz]], this prompted the epic internet hoarde to decend upon Adam and call him a cuck.

User:Couscous/Sandbox

2026-06-07T01:26:14Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* Whore + Cuckhold */

{{UserSandbox}}


==Jelly Pirates==
{{Forcedmeme}}

'''Jelly Pirates''' is a [[forced meme]] on 4chan's [[b/|/b/]] board. A Jelly Pirate thread will usually have a shooped or [[AI artwork|AI slop]] image of a pirate holding Welch's brand grape jelly, followed by the poster either telling you to join now or be gay, how you're too much of a [[newfag]] to remember the supposed Jelly Pirate raids of '06, or somehow tying it back to the king of current /b/, [[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit|Andy Sixx]].

Despite what Jelly Niggers will tell you, this is still a somewhat virgining meme, with discourse of it only kept for the [[faggots|cool kids]] who still use 4chan.

===Phrases===
''Wanna [[LARP]] as a trve Jellyposter? We got you covered, with these phrases you'll fit right it! Don't forget to [[spam]]!

*Jelly much?
*NIGGER FAGGOT JEW PISS SHIT CUNT

===List of people who are Jellyposters===
*[[Donald Trump]]
*[[Alex Pretti]]
*[[Greta Thunberg]]

===Gallery===

{{cg|'''Gallery'''|jellygallery|center|<gallery
perrow="5">
File:1702000375673672.jpg
File:1702365446150457.jpg
File:1702513260705512.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:1704058721369286.jpg
File:1763877859533773.jpg
File:1768879207383274.jpg
File:1768887031745347.jpg
File:1768958594794575.jpg
File:1769439572041534.jpg
File:1769571267744546.jpg
File:1769720487949517.jpg
File:1770253726788981.jpg
File:1770527161058595.jpg
File:1772258355436268.jpg
File:1772300791058118.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===See Also===
*[[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit]]
*[[Unfunny]]

{{Cancer}}

==Looney Tunes==
{{Offended}}

'''Looney Tunes''' is an [[old meme]] of a cartoon, with it being around for so long many things have come from it.

===Origins===
===Characters===

Although now seen as iconic or "non-problematic", the ideas for some of the original line up of characters were either an ordinary anthropomorphic animal, or a racist caricature of an anthropomorphic animal.

===Space Jam===
===Video Games===
===Memes===
===Racist Shit===
===Anti-Nazis===
===The Looney Tunes Show===
===Gallery===
===Videos===

{{Portals|furries|tv}}
{{Comics}}
{{Cartoons}}

=={{Glowtext|Tim Pool}}==

Other than the likes of [[Hasan Piker]], political media has never seen a bigger grifter than '''Tim Pool'''. A current [[Russian]] puppet and political [[Bisexual]], his tactic of fence sitting on certain issues, only playing into an idea hard when it benefits him the most, has given him an audience of clueless retards, who only enjoy his content when it tells them what they want to hear. Despite being a grifter, Tim claims to be a centrist when it comes to politics to save him from any criticism regarding the fact. He hosts his show the TimCast, where he either interviews political adjacent personalities, or gives his worthless takes on current happenings. Whenever he does give a "hot-take", it is always bafflingly retarded. When retarded chimp Karmelo Anthony killed Austin Metcalf, Tim gave the take that it was justified.

Tim has a severe case of [[Internet tough guy]], and will try to convince he's more than just a bald [[manlet]].

Here is a list of the people who Tim has been able to get to appear on his show:

*[[Kanye West]]
*[[Nick Fuentes]]
*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Milo Yiannopoulos]]
*[[TheQuartering]]
*[[Alex Jones]]
*[[Candace Owens]]
*[[Ben Shapiro]]
*[[ComicsGate|Eric July]]
*[[Steven Bonnell II]]
*[[Sargon of Akkad]]
*[[The Donald|Donald Trump]]
*[[Joe Rogan]]
*[[Kyle Rittenhouse]]
*[[Knife Game|Rusty Cage]]
*[[Israel|Benjamin Netanyahu]]

===Videos===

<center><youtube>2zkebVTmrs</youtube></center>

===See Also===
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - His brother, Chris "Reactor" Pool is friends with Mumkey and is actually based.
*[[Charlie Kirk]] - Tim is the origin of the "Sources tell me [blank] is stable" copypasta.

{{Truth}}
{{Politics}}
{{Russia}}

==Art Template==

<div style="{{roundy|.75em}}; width:80%; margin:.5em auto .5em auto; border:.2em solid black; background:#8B0000; clear:both;"><div style="text-align:center; padding:.2em; font-size:1.3em; font-weight:bold;">'''{{{title|{{PAGENAME}}}}}''' is part of a series on '''[[Art]]'''</div><div style="clear:both;"></div><div style="width:100%;text-align:center; padding:.2em .75em .2em .75em;">[EraseGraphic Design is My Passion]</div>
{| style="background:inherit; color:inherit; font-size:.95em;" id="mw-customcollapsible-templatearts" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
| rowspan="4" | [[File:deathconsciousness.jpg|170px]]
! style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Artists:'''</big>
| style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | 

[[Adolf Hitler]] •
[[Akira Toriyama]] •
[[Ben Bocquelet]] •
[[Carlos Ramirez]] •
[[Charles Manson]] •
[[Daniel Johnston]] •
[[Leonardo Da Vinci]] •
[[Frank Miller]] •
[[George Bush]] •
[[GradeAUnderA]] •
[[Sharty 'Jakkers]] •
[[James Rolfe]] •
[[John Edward Robinson]] •
[[John Kricfalusi]] •
[[John Solomon]] •
[[John Wayne Gacy]] •
[[Kanye West]] •
[[Mike Judge]] •
[[R. Crumb]] •
[[Salvador Dali]] •
[[Sam Hyde]] •
[[StamperTV]] •
[[Thomas Kinkade]] •
[[Tim Burton]] •
[[Tubgirl]] •
[[Wyatt Mann]] •
[[Vincent van Gogh]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Select Pieces of Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Burzum]] •
[[Captain Underpants]] •
[[Caspar Milquetoast]] •
[[Charlie The Unicorn]] •
[[Cow Tools]] •
[[Circuit Bending]] •
[[Dilbert]] •
[[Dogisaga]] •
[[Duckman]] •
[[Fritz The Cat]] •
[[Garbage Pail Kids]] •
[[Good Burger]] •
[[Goosebumps Book Covers]] •
[[Happy Merchant]] •
[[Joe Camel]] •
[[Kilroy Was Here]] •
[[Loss]] •
[[Magic The Gathering]] •
[[Monty Python]] •
[[Muhammad Cartoons]] •
[[Peanuts]] •
[[Ren and Stimpy]] •
[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] •
[[Watchmen]] •
[[Weird Al Yankovic]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Anti-Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Animu]]s •
[[Banksy]] •
[[Chris Chan]] •
[[Chick tracts]] •
[[Empress Theresa]] •
[[George Lucas]] •
[[Hayao Miyazaki]] •
[[Kengle]] •
[[Ken Penders]] •
[[Kurt Cobain]] •
[[JohnOfE]] •
[[MAD Magazine]] •
[[My Little Pony]] •
[[Shmorky]] •
[[The Simpsons]] •
[[TheOdd1sOut]] •
[[TomSka]] •
[[Trey Parker]] and [[Matt Stone]] •
[[Virgil Abloh]] •
[[Yoko Ono]]

|-
! style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Related Topics:'''</big>
| style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[co/|/co/]] •
[[Avant-Garde]] •
[[Etsy]] •
[[Face-painter|Face-Painting]] •
[[Fan Art]] •
[[Fan Fiction]] •
[[Furry Art]] •
[[Hate Art]] •
[[Internet Art]] •
[[Menstrual Painting]] •
[[Music]] •
[[MS Paint]] •
[[Shitty Art]] •
[[Tracing]]

|}</div>

==Whang==

'''Justin Whang''' (yes his last name is really [[wang]]) or as he's known on [[JewTube]], '''Whang''', stylized as '''Whang!''', is an [[Asian]] YouTube video essayist who makes videos about various Internet Related topics. From [[Pony Cum Jar Project]], to [[Lowtax]] V. [[Uwe Boll]], his videos are an encyclopedia of sorts for the [[Normies|common man]].

===Maddox===

{{portals|youtube|chans|trolls|music}}
{{Azn}}
{{Goth}}
{{Maddox}}
{{Ytmnd}}

==Tranny Template==

Ok so i feel like this might be a good idea since theres a lot of troon articles. I'll start working on it later. or not idk

'''Stunning and Brave'''

*[[Ahuviya Harel]]
*[[Alex Mauer]]
*[[Anna Anthropy]]
*[[Blaire White]]
*[[Bluefolf]]
*[[Brianna Wu]]
*[[Bruce Jenner]]
*[[Bubba Copeland]]
*[[Burntfishie]]
*[[Charles Ziese]]
*[[Chloe Sagal]]
*[[Chris Crocker]]
*[[Chris Tyson]]
*[[Christine Weston Chandler]]
*[[CopperCab]]
*[[Diogo Mendes]]
*[[Dylan Mulvaney]]
*[[Giggly Goonclown]]
*[[Goddess Bunny]]
*[[Naxinet]]
*[[Hypnotist Sappho]]
*[[Jazz Jennings]]
*[[Jeffrey Dahmer]]
*[[Keffals]]
*[[Kim Petras]]
*[[Laurelai]]
*[[Luke Mochrie]]
*[[Narcissa Wright]]
*[[Pieman]]
*[[Randy Stair]]
*[[Robin Westman]]
*[[Sarah Butts]]
*[[Sewerslvt]]
*[[SpaxxTraxx]]
*[[Troonjak]]
*[[Willem Van Spronsen]]
*[[Xenuria]]

'''Cross-Dressers'''

*[[Ed Gein]]
*[[Nick Bate]]
*[[Smartschoolboy9]]

'''Pooners'''

*[[Audrey Hale]]
*[[Birdie]]
*[[Jessi Slaughter]]

'''Chasers'''

*[[Count Dankula]]
*[[Eddie Murphy]]
*[[Jacob Sockness]]
*[[Tipster]]
*[[Tyler Robinson]]
*[[You]]

'''Enemies'''

*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Nazis]]
*[[Null]]
*[[J.K. Rowling]]
*[[Kid Rock]]
*[[Kiwi Farms]]
*[[Ray William Johnson]]

'''Pasttimes'''

*[[r9k/|/r9k/]]
*[[Antiwork|r/Antiwork]]
*[[Grooming]]
*[[HRT]]
*[[Plastic Surgery]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[Twitter]]

'''See Also'''

*[[Assigned Male]]
*[[Bridget]]
*[[Bud Light]]
*[[Femboys]]
*[[Male Gaze]]
*[[Rocko's Modern Life]]
*[[Ted Kaczynski]]
*[[Traps]]

==Penguinz0==

{{Lolcow2}}

'''Penguinz0''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Charles Christopher White Jr''') is the current king of the shitpile known as [[Reddit]], and typically falsely claimed as a commentary YouTuber. His content is about drama and current news, but similar to someone like [[Boogie2988]], he never gives a real take, and will either fence-sit, or say the general consensus. This has earned himself a community of sexually confused [[Tumblrina]]s who worship him for virtue signaling.

Before becoming a [[cuckold]] he started off making gameplay videos and [[incel]] storytimes. The ladder of which would make him begin to see growth in views and subscribers. His ancient gameplay videos of him playing [[Halo]], [[Gears of War]], and [[Call of Duty: Black Ops 4]] have been lost to time, and now are considered lost media. While his storytimes are still up, being as he's less embarrassed about them than fucking gameplay footage. In these videos, he would talk about masturbation funnies, and being so cripplingly autistic, that he thought acting like Light Yagami from Deathnote would get him pussy, when it just made him look like [[Seung Hui Cho]]. This "openness", willing to be a shamefag for comedy, and safe-edgy jokes about [[dildos]] and [[small cock]]s would get him a strong fanbase of redditards who worship him.

[[Sneako]], is a [[pedophile]] [[Muslim]] who hates Charlie because he didn't like his favorite [[child porn]] film, [[Cuties]]. Instead of just [[trolling]] him, Charlie chose to flex his epic and tough gun collection, to win the argument or something. As recent as 2024, Charlie would get into a debate about [[tranny|trannism]] and the age of consent with [[Sneako]]. In this debate, he would reveal that he is okay with kids transitioning at a young age if their parents consented. This caused tons of backlash, leading to him leaving his podcast, quitting Twitter, making a cope YouTube response video, and saying he was taking a break from drama content.

===See Also===
*[[Def Noodles]]
*[[H3H3 Productions]]
*[[LeafyIsHere]]
*[[MamaMax]] - "I CAN RUIN YOUR CAREER, BUT I CHOOSE NOT TO"
*[[SomeOrdinaryGamers]]

===External Links===
*{{yt|@|Penguinz0}}
*{{Kfthread|136125|KF thread}}
*[https://lostmediawiki.com/Cr1TiKaL_(partially_found_early_videos_of_YouTuber_Penguinz0;_2007-2010) LostMediaWiki entry on his lost videos]

{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{Lolcows}}
{{Lpers}}
{{RedditSeries}}

==Adam22==

Adam22 ([[Powerword]]: '''Adam John Grandmaison''') is the host and creator of the failing podcast business '''No Jumper'''. His popularity, or most accurately his show's popularity began to see prominence in [[2016]] to [[2017]], through the guest appearances he was able to score.

Before podcasting, Adam dabbled in credit card fraud, but wouldn't stay to long in the biz due to his friends getting caught and sent to jail. He then became the owner of a BMX forum, which had a blog section for himself. In this blog section, he admitted to having DMd a teenage girl while being in his 20s.

===No Jumper===

In it's prime, No Jumper saw many, shitty [[SoundCloud]] rappers appear before they were obsessed over by teen girls and stoner manchildren. This made it a hotspot for wiggers who thought they could be the next [[6ix9ine]]. This would then over saturate the market, causing a disinterest in the podcast, not to mention the rappers who did appear on the podcast, literally dying out.

===Whore + Cuckhold===

{{quote|Overall I’m glad we did it and I’m happy to report her vagina has returned to its original pre-BBC size.|Adam22's catchphrase}}

He married a porn "star" and some weeks later she commited beastilality with a big, bad, stinky mulatto nigger on video.

Similar to [[Turkey Tom]] and [[Idubbbz]], this prompted the epic internet hoarde to decend upon Adam and call him a cuck.

User:Couscous/Sandbox

2026-06-07T01:16:55Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* Whore + Cuckhold */

{{UserSandbox}}


==Jelly Pirates==
{{Forcedmeme}}

'''Jelly Pirates''' is a [[forced meme]] on 4chan's [[b/|/b/]] board. A Jelly Pirate thread will usually have a shooped or [[AI artwork|AI slop]] image of a pirate holding Welch's brand grape jelly, followed by the poster either telling you to join now or be gay, how you're too much of a [[newfag]] to remember the supposed Jelly Pirate raids of '06, or somehow tying it back to the king of current /b/, [[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit|Andy Sixx]].

Despite what Jelly Niggers will tell you, this is still a somewhat virgining meme, with discourse of it only kept for the [[faggots|cool kids]] who still use 4chan.

===Phrases===
''Wanna [[LARP]] as a trve Jellyposter? We got you covered, with these phrases you'll fit right it! Don't forget to [[spam]]!

*Jelly much?
*NIGGER FAGGOT JEW PISS SHIT CUNT

===List of people who are Jellyposters===
*[[Donald Trump]]
*[[Alex Pretti]]
*[[Greta Thunberg]]

===Gallery===

{{cg|'''Gallery'''|jellygallery|center|<gallery
perrow="5">
File:1702000375673672.jpg
File:1702365446150457.jpg
File:1702513260705512.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:1704058721369286.jpg
File:1763877859533773.jpg
File:1768879207383274.jpg
File:1768887031745347.jpg
File:1768958594794575.jpg
File:1769439572041534.jpg
File:1769571267744546.jpg
File:1769720487949517.jpg
File:1770253726788981.jpg
File:1770527161058595.jpg
File:1772258355436268.jpg
File:1772300791058118.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===See Also===
*[[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit]]
*[[Unfunny]]

{{Cancer}}

==Looney Tunes==
{{Offended}}

'''Looney Tunes''' is an [[old meme]] of a cartoon, with it being around for so long many things have come from it.

===Origins===
===Characters===

Although now seen as iconic or "non-problematic", the ideas for some of the original line up of characters were either an ordinary anthropomorphic animal, or a racist caricature of an anthropomorphic animal.

===Space Jam===
===Video Games===
===Memes===
===Racist Shit===
===Anti-Nazis===
===The Looney Tunes Show===
===Gallery===
===Videos===

{{Portals|furries|tv}}
{{Comics}}
{{Cartoons}}

=={{Glowtext|Tim Pool}}==

Other than the likes of [[Hasan Piker]], political media has never seen a bigger grifter than '''Tim Pool'''. A current [[Russian]] puppet and political [[Bisexual]], his tactic of fence sitting on certain issues, only playing into an idea hard when it benefits him the most, has given him an audience of clueless retards, who only enjoy his content when it tells them what they want to hear. Despite being a grifter, Tim claims to be a centrist when it comes to politics to save him from any criticism regarding the fact. He hosts his show the TimCast, where he either interviews political adjacent personalities, or gives his worthless takes on current happenings. Whenever he does give a "hot-take", it is always bafflingly retarded. When retarded chimp Karmelo Anthony killed Austin Metcalf, Tim gave the take that it was justified.

Tim has a severe case of [[Internet tough guy]], and will try to convince he's more than just a bald [[manlet]].

Here is a list of the people who Tim has been able to get to appear on his show:

*[[Kanye West]]
*[[Nick Fuentes]]
*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Milo Yiannopoulos]]
*[[TheQuartering]]
*[[Alex Jones]]
*[[Candace Owens]]
*[[Ben Shapiro]]
*[[ComicsGate|Eric July]]
*[[Steven Bonnell II]]
*[[Sargon of Akkad]]
*[[The Donald|Donald Trump]]
*[[Joe Rogan]]
*[[Kyle Rittenhouse]]
*[[Knife Game|Rusty Cage]]
*[[Israel|Benjamin Netanyahu]]

===Videos===

<center><youtube>2zkebVTmrs</youtube></center>

===See Also===
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - His brother, Chris "Reactor" Pool is friends with Mumkey and is actually based.
*[[Charlie Kirk]] - Tim is the origin of the "Sources tell me [blank] is stable" copypasta.

{{Truth}}
{{Politics}}
{{Russia}}

==Art Template==

<div style="{{roundy|.75em}}; width:80%; margin:.5em auto .5em auto; border:.2em solid black; background:#8B0000; clear:both;"><div style="text-align:center; padding:.2em; font-size:1.3em; font-weight:bold;">'''{{{title|{{PAGENAME}}}}}''' is part of a series on '''[[Art]]'''</div><div style="clear:both;"></div><div style="width:100%;text-align:center; padding:.2em .75em .2em .75em;">[EraseGraphic Design is My Passion]</div>
{| style="background:inherit; color:inherit; font-size:.95em;" id="mw-customcollapsible-templatearts" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
| rowspan="4" | [[File:deathconsciousness.jpg|170px]]
! style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Artists:'''</big>
| style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | 

[[Adolf Hitler]] •
[[Akira Toriyama]] •
[[Ben Bocquelet]] •
[[Carlos Ramirez]] •
[[Charles Manson]] •
[[Daniel Johnston]] •
[[Leonardo Da Vinci]] •
[[Frank Miller]] •
[[George Bush]] •
[[GradeAUnderA]] •
[[Sharty 'Jakkers]] •
[[James Rolfe]] •
[[John Edward Robinson]] •
[[John Kricfalusi]] •
[[John Solomon]] •
[[John Wayne Gacy]] •
[[Kanye West]] •
[[Mike Judge]] •
[[R. Crumb]] •
[[Salvador Dali]] •
[[Sam Hyde]] •
[[StamperTV]] •
[[Thomas Kinkade]] •
[[Tim Burton]] •
[[Tubgirl]] •
[[Wyatt Mann]] •
[[Vincent van Gogh]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Select Pieces of Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Burzum]] •
[[Captain Underpants]] •
[[Caspar Milquetoast]] •
[[Charlie The Unicorn]] •
[[Cow Tools]] •
[[Circuit Bending]] •
[[Dilbert]] •
[[Dogisaga]] •
[[Duckman]] •
[[Fritz The Cat]] •
[[Garbage Pail Kids]] •
[[Good Burger]] •
[[Goosebumps Book Covers]] •
[[Happy Merchant]] •
[[Joe Camel]] •
[[Kilroy Was Here]] •
[[Loss]] •
[[Magic The Gathering]] •
[[Monty Python]] •
[[Muhammad Cartoons]] •
[[Peanuts]] •
[[Ren and Stimpy]] •
[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] •
[[Watchmen]] •
[[Weird Al Yankovic]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Anti-Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Animu]]s •
[[Banksy]] •
[[Chris Chan]] •
[[Chick tracts]] •
[[Empress Theresa]] •
[[George Lucas]] •
[[Hayao Miyazaki]] •
[[Kengle]] •
[[Ken Penders]] •
[[Kurt Cobain]] •
[[JohnOfE]] •
[[MAD Magazine]] •
[[My Little Pony]] •
[[Shmorky]] •
[[The Simpsons]] •
[[TheOdd1sOut]] •
[[TomSka]] •
[[Trey Parker]] and [[Matt Stone]] •
[[Virgil Abloh]] •
[[Yoko Ono]]

|-
! style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Related Topics:'''</big>
| style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[co/|/co/]] •
[[Avant-Garde]] •
[[Etsy]] •
[[Face-painter|Face-Painting]] •
[[Fan Art]] •
[[Fan Fiction]] •
[[Furry Art]] •
[[Hate Art]] •
[[Internet Art]] •
[[Menstrual Painting]] •
[[Music]] •
[[MS Paint]] •
[[Shitty Art]] •
[[Tracing]]

|}</div>

==Whang==

'''Justin Whang''' (yes his last name is really [[wang]]) or as he's known on [[JewTube]], '''Whang''', stylized as '''Whang!''', is an [[Asian]] YouTube video essayist who makes videos about various Internet Related topics. From [[Pony Cum Jar Project]], to [[Lowtax]] V. [[Uwe Boll]], his videos are an encyclopedia of sorts for the [[Normies|common man]].

===Maddox===

{{portals|youtube|chans|trolls|music}}
{{Azn}}
{{Goth}}
{{Maddox}}
{{Ytmnd}}

==Tranny Template==

Ok so i feel like this might be a good idea since theres a lot of troon articles. I'll start working on it later. or not idk

'''Stunning and Brave'''

*[[Ahuviya Harel]]
*[[Alex Mauer]]
*[[Anna Anthropy]]
*[[Blaire White]]
*[[Bluefolf]]
*[[Brianna Wu]]
*[[Bruce Jenner]]
*[[Bubba Copeland]]
*[[Burntfishie]]
*[[Charles Ziese]]
*[[Chloe Sagal]]
*[[Chris Crocker]]
*[[Chris Tyson]]
*[[Christine Weston Chandler]]
*[[CopperCab]]
*[[Diogo Mendes]]
*[[Dylan Mulvaney]]
*[[Giggly Goonclown]]
*[[Goddess Bunny]]
*[[Naxinet]]
*[[Hypnotist Sappho]]
*[[Jazz Jennings]]
*[[Jeffrey Dahmer]]
*[[Keffals]]
*[[Kim Petras]]
*[[Laurelai]]
*[[Luke Mochrie]]
*[[Narcissa Wright]]
*[[Pieman]]
*[[Randy Stair]]
*[[Robin Westman]]
*[[Sarah Butts]]
*[[Sewerslvt]]
*[[SpaxxTraxx]]
*[[Troonjak]]
*[[Willem Van Spronsen]]
*[[Xenuria]]

'''Cross-Dressers'''

*[[Ed Gein]]
*[[Nick Bate]]
*[[Smartschoolboy9]]

'''Pooners'''

*[[Audrey Hale]]
*[[Birdie]]
*[[Jessi Slaughter]]

'''Chasers'''

*[[Count Dankula]]
*[[Eddie Murphy]]
*[[Jacob Sockness]]
*[[Tipster]]
*[[Tyler Robinson]]
*[[You]]

'''Enemies'''

*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Nazis]]
*[[Null]]
*[[J.K. Rowling]]
*[[Kid Rock]]
*[[Kiwi Farms]]
*[[Ray William Johnson]]

'''Pasttimes'''

*[[r9k/|/r9k/]]
*[[Antiwork|r/Antiwork]]
*[[Grooming]]
*[[HRT]]
*[[Plastic Surgery]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[Twitter]]

'''See Also'''

*[[Assigned Male]]
*[[Bridget]]
*[[Bud Light]]
*[[Femboys]]
*[[Male Gaze]]
*[[Rocko's Modern Life]]
*[[Ted Kaczynski]]
*[[Traps]]

==Penguinz0==

{{Lolcow2}}

'''Penguinz0''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Charles Christopher White Jr''') is the current king of the shitpile known as [[Reddit]], and typically falsely claimed as a commentary YouTuber. His content is about drama and current news, but similar to someone like [[Boogie2988]], he never gives a real take, and will either fence-sit, or say the general consensus. This has earned himself a community of sexually confused [[Tumblrina]]s who worship him for virtue signaling.

Before becoming a [[cuckold]] he started off making gameplay videos and [[incel]] storytimes. The ladder of which would make him begin to see growth in views and subscribers. His ancient gameplay videos of him playing [[Halo]], [[Gears of War]], and [[Call of Duty: Black Ops 4]] have been lost to time, and now are considered lost media. While his storytimes are still up, being as he's less embarrassed about them than fucking gameplay footage. In these videos, he would talk about masturbation funnies, and being so cripplingly autistic, that he thought acting like Light Yagami from Deathnote would get him pussy, when it just made him look like [[Seung Hui Cho]]. This "openness", willing to be a shamefag for comedy, and safe-edgy jokes about [[dildos]] and [[small cock]]s would get him a strong fanbase of redditards who worship him.

[[Sneako]], is a [[pedophile]] [[Muslim]] who hates Charlie because he didn't like his favorite [[child porn]] film, [[Cuties]]. Instead of just [[trolling]] him, Charlie chose to flex his epic and tough gun collection, to win the argument or something. As recent as 2024, Charlie would get into a debate about [[tranny|trannism]] and the age of consent with [[Sneako]]. In this debate, he would reveal that he is okay with kids transitioning at a young age if their parents consented. This caused tons of backlash, leading to him leaving his podcast, quitting Twitter, making a cope YouTube response video, and saying he was taking a break from drama content.

===See Also===
*[[Def Noodles]]
*[[H3H3 Productions]]
*[[LeafyIsHere]]
*[[MamaMax]] - "I CAN RUIN YOUR CAREER, BUT I CHOOSE NOT TO"
*[[SomeOrdinaryGamers]]

===External Links===
*{{yt|@|Penguinz0}}
*{{Kfthread|136125|KF thread}}
*[https://lostmediawiki.com/Cr1TiKaL_(partially_found_early_videos_of_YouTuber_Penguinz0;_2007-2010) LostMediaWiki entry on his lost videos]

{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{Lolcows}}
{{Lpers}}
{{RedditSeries}}

==Adam22==

Adam22 ([[Powerword]]: '''Adam John Grandmaison''') is the host and creator of the failing podcast business '''No Jumper'''. His popularity, or most accurately his show's popularity began to see prominence in [[2016]] to [[2017]], through the guest appearances he was able to score.

Before podcasting, Adam dabbled in credit card fraud, but wouldn't stay to long in the biz due to his friends getting caught and sent to jail. He then became the owner of a BMX forum, which had a blog section for himself. In this blog section, he admitted to having DMd a teenage girl while being in his 20s.

===No Jumper===

In it's prime, No Jumper saw many, shitty [[SoundCloud]] rappers appear before they were obsessed over by teen girls and stoner manchildren. This made it a hotspot for wiggers who thought they could be the next [[6ix9ine]]. This would then over saturate the market, causing a disinterest in the podcast, not to mention the rappers who did appear on the podcast, literally dying out.

===Whore + Cuckhold===

He married a porn "star" and some weeks later she commited beastilality with a big, bad, stinky mulatto nigger on video.

Similar to [[Turkey Tom]] and [[Idubbbz]], this prompted the epic internet hoarde to decend upon Adam and call him a cuck.

User:Couscous/Sandbox

2026-06-07T01:16:41Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* Whore + Cuckhold */

{{UserSandbox}}


==Jelly Pirates==
{{Forcedmeme}}

'''Jelly Pirates''' is a [[forced meme]] on 4chan's [[b/|/b/]] board. A Jelly Pirate thread will usually have a shooped or [[AI artwork|AI slop]] image of a pirate holding Welch's brand grape jelly, followed by the poster either telling you to join now or be gay, how you're too much of a [[newfag]] to remember the supposed Jelly Pirate raids of '06, or somehow tying it back to the king of current /b/, [[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit|Andy Sixx]].

Despite what Jelly Niggers will tell you, this is still a somewhat virgining meme, with discourse of it only kept for the [[faggots|cool kids]] who still use 4chan.

===Phrases===
''Wanna [[LARP]] as a trve Jellyposter? We got you covered, with these phrases you'll fit right it! Don't forget to [[spam]]!

*Jelly much?
*NIGGER FAGGOT JEW PISS SHIT CUNT

===List of people who are Jellyposters===
*[[Donald Trump]]
*[[Alex Pretti]]
*[[Greta Thunberg]]

===Gallery===

{{cg|'''Gallery'''|jellygallery|center|<gallery
perrow="5">
File:1702000375673672.jpg
File:1702365446150457.jpg
File:1702513260705512.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:1704058721369286.jpg
File:1763877859533773.jpg
File:1768879207383274.jpg
File:1768887031745347.jpg
File:1768958594794575.jpg
File:1769439572041534.jpg
File:1769571267744546.jpg
File:1769720487949517.jpg
File:1770253726788981.jpg
File:1770527161058595.jpg
File:1772258355436268.jpg
File:1772300791058118.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===See Also===
*[[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit]]
*[[Unfunny]]

{{Cancer}}

==Looney Tunes==
{{Offended}}

'''Looney Tunes''' is an [[old meme]] of a cartoon, with it being around for so long many things have come from it.

===Origins===
===Characters===

Although now seen as iconic or "non-problematic", the ideas for some of the original line up of characters were either an ordinary anthropomorphic animal, or a racist caricature of an anthropomorphic animal.

===Space Jam===
===Video Games===
===Memes===
===Racist Shit===
===Anti-Nazis===
===The Looney Tunes Show===
===Gallery===
===Videos===

{{Portals|furries|tv}}
{{Comics}}
{{Cartoons}}

=={{Glowtext|Tim Pool}}==

Other than the likes of [[Hasan Piker]], political media has never seen a bigger grifter than '''Tim Pool'''. A current [[Russian]] puppet and political [[Bisexual]], his tactic of fence sitting on certain issues, only playing into an idea hard when it benefits him the most, has given him an audience of clueless retards, who only enjoy his content when it tells them what they want to hear. Despite being a grifter, Tim claims to be a centrist when it comes to politics to save him from any criticism regarding the fact. He hosts his show the TimCast, where he either interviews political adjacent personalities, or gives his worthless takes on current happenings. Whenever he does give a "hot-take", it is always bafflingly retarded. When retarded chimp Karmelo Anthony killed Austin Metcalf, Tim gave the take that it was justified.

Tim has a severe case of [[Internet tough guy]], and will try to convince he's more than just a bald [[manlet]].

Here is a list of the people who Tim has been able to get to appear on his show:

*[[Kanye West]]
*[[Nick Fuentes]]
*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Milo Yiannopoulos]]
*[[TheQuartering]]
*[[Alex Jones]]
*[[Candace Owens]]
*[[Ben Shapiro]]
*[[ComicsGate|Eric July]]
*[[Steven Bonnell II]]
*[[Sargon of Akkad]]
*[[The Donald|Donald Trump]]
*[[Joe Rogan]]
*[[Kyle Rittenhouse]]
*[[Knife Game|Rusty Cage]]
*[[Israel|Benjamin Netanyahu]]

===Videos===

<center><youtube>2zkebVTmrs</youtube></center>

===See Also===
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - His brother, Chris "Reactor" Pool is friends with Mumkey and is actually based.
*[[Charlie Kirk]] - Tim is the origin of the "Sources tell me [blank] is stable" copypasta.

{{Truth}}
{{Politics}}
{{Russia}}

==Art Template==

<div style="{{roundy|.75em}}; width:80%; margin:.5em auto .5em auto; border:.2em solid black; background:#8B0000; clear:both;"><div style="text-align:center; padding:.2em; font-size:1.3em; font-weight:bold;">'''{{{title|{{PAGENAME}}}}}''' is part of a series on '''[[Art]]'''</div><div style="clear:both;"></div><div style="width:100%;text-align:center; padding:.2em .75em .2em .75em;">[EraseGraphic Design is My Passion]</div>
{| style="background:inherit; color:inherit; font-size:.95em;" id="mw-customcollapsible-templatearts" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
| rowspan="4" | [[File:deathconsciousness.jpg|170px]]
! style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Artists:'''</big>
| style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | 

[[Adolf Hitler]] •
[[Akira Toriyama]] •
[[Ben Bocquelet]] •
[[Carlos Ramirez]] •
[[Charles Manson]] •
[[Daniel Johnston]] •
[[Leonardo Da Vinci]] •
[[Frank Miller]] •
[[George Bush]] •
[[GradeAUnderA]] •
[[Sharty 'Jakkers]] •
[[James Rolfe]] •
[[John Edward Robinson]] •
[[John Kricfalusi]] •
[[John Solomon]] •
[[John Wayne Gacy]] •
[[Kanye West]] •
[[Mike Judge]] •
[[R. Crumb]] •
[[Salvador Dali]] •
[[Sam Hyde]] •
[[StamperTV]] •
[[Thomas Kinkade]] •
[[Tim Burton]] •
[[Tubgirl]] •
[[Wyatt Mann]] •
[[Vincent van Gogh]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Select Pieces of Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Burzum]] •
[[Captain Underpants]] •
[[Caspar Milquetoast]] •
[[Charlie The Unicorn]] •
[[Cow Tools]] •
[[Circuit Bending]] •
[[Dilbert]] •
[[Dogisaga]] •
[[Duckman]] •
[[Fritz The Cat]] •
[[Garbage Pail Kids]] •
[[Good Burger]] •
[[Goosebumps Book Covers]] •
[[Happy Merchant]] •
[[Joe Camel]] •
[[Kilroy Was Here]] •
[[Loss]] •
[[Magic The Gathering]] •
[[Monty Python]] •
[[Muhammad Cartoons]] •
[[Peanuts]] •
[[Ren and Stimpy]] •
[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] •
[[Watchmen]] •
[[Weird Al Yankovic]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Anti-Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Animu]]s •
[[Banksy]] •
[[Chris Chan]] •
[[Chick tracts]] •
[[Empress Theresa]] •
[[George Lucas]] •
[[Hayao Miyazaki]] •
[[Kengle]] •
[[Ken Penders]] •
[[Kurt Cobain]] •
[[JohnOfE]] •
[[MAD Magazine]] •
[[My Little Pony]] •
[[Shmorky]] •
[[The Simpsons]] •
[[TheOdd1sOut]] •
[[TomSka]] •
[[Trey Parker]] and [[Matt Stone]] •
[[Virgil Abloh]] •
[[Yoko Ono]]

|-
! style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Related Topics:'''</big>
| style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[co/|/co/]] •
[[Avant-Garde]] •
[[Etsy]] •
[[Face-painter|Face-Painting]] •
[[Fan Art]] •
[[Fan Fiction]] •
[[Furry Art]] •
[[Hate Art]] •
[[Internet Art]] •
[[Menstrual Painting]] •
[[Music]] •
[[MS Paint]] •
[[Shitty Art]] •
[[Tracing]]

|}</div>

==Whang==

'''Justin Whang''' (yes his last name is really [[wang]]) or as he's known on [[JewTube]], '''Whang''', stylized as '''Whang!''', is an [[Asian]] YouTube video essayist who makes videos about various Internet Related topics. From [[Pony Cum Jar Project]], to [[Lowtax]] V. [[Uwe Boll]], his videos are an encyclopedia of sorts for the [[Normies|common man]].

===Maddox===

{{portals|youtube|chans|trolls|music}}
{{Azn}}
{{Goth}}
{{Maddox}}
{{Ytmnd}}

==Tranny Template==

Ok so i feel like this might be a good idea since theres a lot of troon articles. I'll start working on it later. or not idk

'''Stunning and Brave'''

*[[Ahuviya Harel]]
*[[Alex Mauer]]
*[[Anna Anthropy]]
*[[Blaire White]]
*[[Bluefolf]]
*[[Brianna Wu]]
*[[Bruce Jenner]]
*[[Bubba Copeland]]
*[[Burntfishie]]
*[[Charles Ziese]]
*[[Chloe Sagal]]
*[[Chris Crocker]]
*[[Chris Tyson]]
*[[Christine Weston Chandler]]
*[[CopperCab]]
*[[Diogo Mendes]]
*[[Dylan Mulvaney]]
*[[Giggly Goonclown]]
*[[Goddess Bunny]]
*[[Naxinet]]
*[[Hypnotist Sappho]]
*[[Jazz Jennings]]
*[[Jeffrey Dahmer]]
*[[Keffals]]
*[[Kim Petras]]
*[[Laurelai]]
*[[Luke Mochrie]]
*[[Narcissa Wright]]
*[[Pieman]]
*[[Randy Stair]]
*[[Robin Westman]]
*[[Sarah Butts]]
*[[Sewerslvt]]
*[[SpaxxTraxx]]
*[[Troonjak]]
*[[Willem Van Spronsen]]
*[[Xenuria]]

'''Cross-Dressers'''

*[[Ed Gein]]
*[[Nick Bate]]
*[[Smartschoolboy9]]

'''Pooners'''

*[[Audrey Hale]]
*[[Birdie]]
*[[Jessi Slaughter]]

'''Chasers'''

*[[Count Dankula]]
*[[Eddie Murphy]]
*[[Jacob Sockness]]
*[[Tipster]]
*[[Tyler Robinson]]
*[[You]]

'''Enemies'''

*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Nazis]]
*[[Null]]
*[[J.K. Rowling]]
*[[Kid Rock]]
*[[Kiwi Farms]]
*[[Ray William Johnson]]

'''Pasttimes'''

*[[r9k/|/r9k/]]
*[[Antiwork|r/Antiwork]]
*[[Grooming]]
*[[HRT]]
*[[Plastic Surgery]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[Twitter]]

'''See Also'''

*[[Assigned Male]]
*[[Bridget]]
*[[Bud Light]]
*[[Femboys]]
*[[Male Gaze]]
*[[Rocko's Modern Life]]
*[[Ted Kaczynski]]
*[[Traps]]

==Penguinz0==

{{Lolcow2}}

'''Penguinz0''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Charles Christopher White Jr''') is the current king of the shitpile known as [[Reddit]], and typically falsely claimed as a commentary YouTuber. His content is about drama and current news, but similar to someone like [[Boogie2988]], he never gives a real take, and will either fence-sit, or say the general consensus. This has earned himself a community of sexually confused [[Tumblrina]]s who worship him for virtue signaling.

Before becoming a [[cuckold]] he started off making gameplay videos and [[incel]] storytimes. The ladder of which would make him begin to see growth in views and subscribers. His ancient gameplay videos of him playing [[Halo]], [[Gears of War]], and [[Call of Duty: Black Ops 4]] have been lost to time, and now are considered lost media. While his storytimes are still up, being as he's less embarrassed about them than fucking gameplay footage. In these videos, he would talk about masturbation funnies, and being so cripplingly autistic, that he thought acting like Light Yagami from Deathnote would get him pussy, when it just made him look like [[Seung Hui Cho]]. This "openness", willing to be a shamefag for comedy, and safe-edgy jokes about [[dildos]] and [[small cock]]s would get him a strong fanbase of redditards who worship him.

[[Sneako]], is a [[pedophile]] [[Muslim]] who hates Charlie because he didn't like his favorite [[child porn]] film, [[Cuties]]. Instead of just [[trolling]] him, Charlie chose to flex his epic and tough gun collection, to win the argument or something. As recent as 2024, Charlie would get into a debate about [[tranny|trannism]] and the age of consent with [[Sneako]]. In this debate, he would reveal that he is okay with kids transitioning at a young age if their parents consented. This caused tons of backlash, leading to him leaving his podcast, quitting Twitter, making a cope YouTube response video, and saying he was taking a break from drama content.

===See Also===
*[[Def Noodles]]
*[[H3H3 Productions]]
*[[LeafyIsHere]]
*[[MamaMax]] - "I CAN RUIN YOUR CAREER, BUT I CHOOSE NOT TO"
*[[SomeOrdinaryGamers]]

===External Links===
*{{yt|@|Penguinz0}}
*{{Kfthread|136125|KF thread}}
*[https://lostmediawiki.com/Cr1TiKaL_(partially_found_early_videos_of_YouTuber_Penguinz0;_2007-2010) LostMediaWiki entry on his lost videos]

{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{Lolcows}}
{{Lpers}}
{{RedditSeries}}

==Adam22==

Adam22 ([[Powerword]]: '''Adam John Grandmaison''') is the host and creator of the failing podcast business '''No Jumper'''. His popularity, or most accurately his show's popularity began to see prominence in [[2016]] to [[2017]], through the guest appearances he was able to score.

Before podcasting, Adam dabbled in credit card fraud, but wouldn't stay to long in the biz due to his friends getting caught and sent to jail. He then became the owner of a BMX forum, which had a blog section for himself. In this blog section, he admitted to having DMd a teenage girl while being in his 20s.

===No Jumper===

In it's prime, No Jumper saw many, shitty [[SoundCloud]] rappers appear before they were obsessed over by teen girls and stoner manchildren. This made it a hotspot for wiggers who thought they could be the next [[6ix9ine]]. This would then over saturate the market, causing a disinterest in the podcast, not to mention the rappers who did appear on the podcast, literally dying out.

==Whore + Cuckhold==

He married a porn "star" and some weeks later she commited beastilality with a big, bad, stinky mulatto nigger on video.

Similar to [[Turkey Tom]] and [[Idubbbz]], this prompted the epic internet hoarde to decend upon Adam and call him a cuck.

User:Couscous/Sandbox

2026-06-07T01:16:24Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Collaborashun

{{UserSandbox}}


==Jelly Pirates==
{{Forcedmeme}}

'''Jelly Pirates''' is a [[forced meme]] on 4chan's [[b/|/b/]] board. A Jelly Pirate thread will usually have a shooped or [[AI artwork|AI slop]] image of a pirate holding Welch's brand grape jelly, followed by the poster either telling you to join now or be gay, how you're too much of a [[newfag]] to remember the supposed Jelly Pirate raids of '06, or somehow tying it back to the king of current /b/, [[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit|Andy Sixx]].

Despite what Jelly Niggers will tell you, this is still a somewhat virgining meme, with discourse of it only kept for the [[faggots|cool kids]] who still use 4chan.

===Phrases===
''Wanna [[LARP]] as a trve Jellyposter? We got you covered, with these phrases you'll fit right it! Don't forget to [[spam]]!

*Jelly much?
*NIGGER FAGGOT JEW PISS SHIT CUNT

===List of people who are Jellyposters===
*[[Donald Trump]]
*[[Alex Pretti]]
*[[Greta Thunberg]]

===Gallery===

{{cg|'''Gallery'''|jellygallery|center|<gallery
perrow="5">
File:1702000375673672.jpg
File:1702365446150457.jpg
File:1702513260705512.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:1704058721369286.jpg
File:1763877859533773.jpg
File:1768879207383274.jpg
File:1768887031745347.jpg
File:1768958594794575.jpg
File:1769439572041534.jpg
File:1769571267744546.jpg
File:1769720487949517.jpg
File:1770253726788981.jpg
File:1770527161058595.jpg
File:1772258355436268.jpg
File:1772300791058118.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===See Also===
*[[Andy Sixx's Logs of Shit]]
*[[Unfunny]]

{{Cancer}}

==Looney Tunes==
{{Offended}}

'''Looney Tunes''' is an [[old meme]] of a cartoon, with it being around for so long many things have come from it.

===Origins===
===Characters===

Although now seen as iconic or "non-problematic", the ideas for some of the original line up of characters were either an ordinary anthropomorphic animal, or a racist caricature of an anthropomorphic animal.

===Space Jam===
===Video Games===
===Memes===
===Racist Shit===
===Anti-Nazis===
===The Looney Tunes Show===
===Gallery===
===Videos===

{{Portals|furries|tv}}
{{Comics}}
{{Cartoons}}

=={{Glowtext|Tim Pool}}==

Other than the likes of [[Hasan Piker]], political media has never seen a bigger grifter than '''Tim Pool'''. A current [[Russian]] puppet and political [[Bisexual]], his tactic of fence sitting on certain issues, only playing into an idea hard when it benefits him the most, has given him an audience of clueless retards, who only enjoy his content when it tells them what they want to hear. Despite being a grifter, Tim claims to be a centrist when it comes to politics to save him from any criticism regarding the fact. He hosts his show the TimCast, where he either interviews political adjacent personalities, or gives his worthless takes on current happenings. Whenever he does give a "hot-take", it is always bafflingly retarded. When retarded chimp Karmelo Anthony killed Austin Metcalf, Tim gave the take that it was justified.

Tim has a severe case of [[Internet tough guy]], and will try to convince he's more than just a bald [[manlet]].

Here is a list of the people who Tim has been able to get to appear on his show:

*[[Kanye West]]
*[[Nick Fuentes]]
*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Milo Yiannopoulos]]
*[[TheQuartering]]
*[[Alex Jones]]
*[[Candace Owens]]
*[[Ben Shapiro]]
*[[ComicsGate|Eric July]]
*[[Steven Bonnell II]]
*[[Sargon of Akkad]]
*[[The Donald|Donald Trump]]
*[[Joe Rogan]]
*[[Kyle Rittenhouse]]
*[[Knife Game|Rusty Cage]]
*[[Israel|Benjamin Netanyahu]]

===Videos===

<center><youtube>2zkebVTmrs</youtube></center>

===See Also===
*[[Mumkey Jones]] - His brother, Chris "Reactor" Pool is friends with Mumkey and is actually based.
*[[Charlie Kirk]] - Tim is the origin of the "Sources tell me [blank] is stable" copypasta.

{{Truth}}
{{Politics}}
{{Russia}}

==Art Template==

<div style="{{roundy|.75em}}; width:80%; margin:.5em auto .5em auto; border:.2em solid black; background:#8B0000; clear:both;"><div style="text-align:center; padding:.2em; font-size:1.3em; font-weight:bold;">'''{{{title|{{PAGENAME}}}}}''' is part of a series on '''[[Art]]'''</div><div style="clear:both;"></div><div style="width:100%;text-align:center; padding:.2em .75em .2em .75em;">[EraseGraphic Design is My Passion]</div>
{| style="background:inherit; color:inherit; font-size:.95em;" id="mw-customcollapsible-templatearts" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
| rowspan="4" | [[File:deathconsciousness.jpg|170px]]
! style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Artists:'''</big>
| style="{{roundytop|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | 

[[Adolf Hitler]] •
[[Akira Toriyama]] •
[[Ben Bocquelet]] •
[[Carlos Ramirez]] •
[[Charles Manson]] •
[[Daniel Johnston]] •
[[Leonardo Da Vinci]] •
[[Frank Miller]] •
[[George Bush]] •
[[GradeAUnderA]] •
[[Sharty 'Jakkers]] •
[[James Rolfe]] •
[[John Edward Robinson]] •
[[John Kricfalusi]] •
[[John Solomon]] •
[[John Wayne Gacy]] •
[[Kanye West]] •
[[Mike Judge]] •
[[R. Crumb]] •
[[Salvador Dali]] •
[[Sam Hyde]] •
[[StamperTV]] •
[[Thomas Kinkade]] •
[[Tim Burton]] •
[[Tubgirl]] •
[[Wyatt Mann]] •
[[Vincent van Gogh]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Select Pieces of Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Burzum]] •
[[Captain Underpants]] •
[[Caspar Milquetoast]] •
[[Charlie The Unicorn]] •
[[Cow Tools]] •
[[Circuit Bending]] •
[[Dilbert]] •
[[Dogisaga]] •
[[Duckman]] •
[[Fritz The Cat]] •
[[Garbage Pail Kids]] •
[[Good Burger]] •
[[Goosebumps Book Covers]] •
[[Happy Merchant]] •
[[Joe Camel]] •
[[Kilroy Was Here]] •
[[Loss]] •
[[Magic The Gathering]] •
[[Monty Python]] •
[[Muhammad Cartoons]] •
[[Peanuts]] •
[[Ren and Stimpy]] •
[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] •
[[Watchmen]] •
[[Weird Al Yankovic]]

|-
! style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Anti-Art:'''</big>
| style=" padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[Animu]]s •
[[Banksy]] •
[[Chris Chan]] •
[[Chick tracts]] •
[[Empress Theresa]] •
[[George Lucas]] •
[[Hayao Miyazaki]] •
[[Kengle]] •
[[Ken Penders]] •
[[Kurt Cobain]] •
[[JohnOfE]] •
[[MAD Magazine]] •
[[My Little Pony]] •
[[Shmorky]] •
[[The Simpsons]] •
[[TheOdd1sOut]] •
[[TomSka]] •
[[Trey Parker]] and [[Matt Stone]] •
[[Virgil Abloh]] •
[[Yoko Ono]]

|-
! style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" | <big>'''Related Topics:'''</big>
| style="{{roundybottom|.75em}}; padding:.2em; background:#ADD8E6; margin:.1em; border:1px solid #000000;" |


[[co/|/co/]] •
[[Avant-Garde]] •
[[Etsy]] •
[[Face-painter|Face-Painting]] •
[[Fan Art]] •
[[Fan Fiction]] •
[[Furry Art]] •
[[Hate Art]] •
[[Internet Art]] •
[[Menstrual Painting]] •
[[Music]] •
[[MS Paint]] •
[[Shitty Art]] •
[[Tracing]]

|}</div>

==Whang==

'''Justin Whang''' (yes his last name is really [[wang]]) or as he's known on [[JewTube]], '''Whang''', stylized as '''Whang!''', is an [[Asian]] YouTube video essayist who makes videos about various Internet Related topics. From [[Pony Cum Jar Project]], to [[Lowtax]] V. [[Uwe Boll]], his videos are an encyclopedia of sorts for the [[Normies|common man]].

===Maddox===

{{portals|youtube|chans|trolls|music}}
{{Azn}}
{{Goth}}
{{Maddox}}
{{Ytmnd}}

==Tranny Template==

Ok so i feel like this might be a good idea since theres a lot of troon articles. I'll start working on it later. or not idk

'''Stunning and Brave'''

*[[Ahuviya Harel]]
*[[Alex Mauer]]
*[[Anna Anthropy]]
*[[Blaire White]]
*[[Bluefolf]]
*[[Brianna Wu]]
*[[Bruce Jenner]]
*[[Bubba Copeland]]
*[[Burntfishie]]
*[[Charles Ziese]]
*[[Chloe Sagal]]
*[[Chris Crocker]]
*[[Chris Tyson]]
*[[Christine Weston Chandler]]
*[[CopperCab]]
*[[Diogo Mendes]]
*[[Dylan Mulvaney]]
*[[Giggly Goonclown]]
*[[Goddess Bunny]]
*[[Naxinet]]
*[[Hypnotist Sappho]]
*[[Jazz Jennings]]
*[[Jeffrey Dahmer]]
*[[Keffals]]
*[[Kim Petras]]
*[[Laurelai]]
*[[Luke Mochrie]]
*[[Narcissa Wright]]
*[[Pieman]]
*[[Randy Stair]]
*[[Robin Westman]]
*[[Sarah Butts]]
*[[Sewerslvt]]
*[[SpaxxTraxx]]
*[[Troonjak]]
*[[Willem Van Spronsen]]
*[[Xenuria]]

'''Cross-Dressers'''

*[[Ed Gein]]
*[[Nick Bate]]
*[[Smartschoolboy9]]

'''Pooners'''

*[[Audrey Hale]]
*[[Birdie]]
*[[Jessi Slaughter]]

'''Chasers'''

*[[Count Dankula]]
*[[Eddie Murphy]]
*[[Jacob Sockness]]
*[[Tipster]]
*[[Tyler Robinson]]
*[[You]]

'''Enemies'''

*[[Charlie Kirk]]
*[[Nazis]]
*[[Null]]
*[[J.K. Rowling]]
*[[Kid Rock]]
*[[Kiwi Farms]]
*[[Ray William Johnson]]

'''Pasttimes'''

*[[r9k/|/r9k/]]
*[[Antiwork|r/Antiwork]]
*[[Grooming]]
*[[HRT]]
*[[Plastic Surgery]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[Twitter]]

'''See Also'''

*[[Assigned Male]]
*[[Bridget]]
*[[Bud Light]]
*[[Femboys]]
*[[Male Gaze]]
*[[Rocko's Modern Life]]
*[[Ted Kaczynski]]
*[[Traps]]

==Penguinz0==

{{Lolcow2}}

'''Penguinz0''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Charles Christopher White Jr''') is the current king of the shitpile known as [[Reddit]], and typically falsely claimed as a commentary YouTuber. His content is about drama and current news, but similar to someone like [[Boogie2988]], he never gives a real take, and will either fence-sit, or say the general consensus. This has earned himself a community of sexually confused [[Tumblrina]]s who worship him for virtue signaling.

Before becoming a [[cuckold]] he started off making gameplay videos and [[incel]] storytimes. The ladder of which would make him begin to see growth in views and subscribers. His ancient gameplay videos of him playing [[Halo]], [[Gears of War]], and [[Call of Duty: Black Ops 4]] have been lost to time, and now are considered lost media. While his storytimes are still up, being as he's less embarrassed about them than fucking gameplay footage. In these videos, he would talk about masturbation funnies, and being so cripplingly autistic, that he thought acting like Light Yagami from Deathnote would get him pussy, when it just made him look like [[Seung Hui Cho]]. This "openness", willing to be a shamefag for comedy, and safe-edgy jokes about [[dildos]] and [[small cock]]s would get him a strong fanbase of redditards who worship him.

[[Sneako]], is a [[pedophile]] [[Muslim]] who hates Charlie because he didn't like his favorite [[child porn]] film, [[Cuties]]. Instead of just [[trolling]] him, Charlie chose to flex his epic and tough gun collection, to win the argument or something. As recent as 2024, Charlie would get into a debate about [[tranny|trannism]] and the age of consent with [[Sneako]]. In this debate, he would reveal that he is okay with kids transitioning at a young age if their parents consented. This caused tons of backlash, leading to him leaving his podcast, quitting Twitter, making a cope YouTube response video, and saying he was taking a break from drama content.

===See Also===
*[[Def Noodles]]
*[[H3H3 Productions]]
*[[LeafyIsHere]]
*[[MamaMax]] - "I CAN RUIN YOUR CAREER, BUT I CHOOSE NOT TO"
*[[SomeOrdinaryGamers]]

===External Links===
*{{yt|@|Penguinz0}}
*{{Kfthread|136125|KF thread}}
*[https://lostmediawiki.com/Cr1TiKaL_(partially_found_early_videos_of_YouTuber_Penguinz0;_2007-2010) LostMediaWiki entry on his lost videos]

{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{Lolcows}}
{{Lpers}}
{{RedditSeries}}

==Adam22==

Adam22 ([[Powerword]]: '''Adam John Grandmaison''') is the host and creator of the failing podcast business '''No Jumper'''. His popularity, or most accurately his show's popularity began to see prominence in [[2016]] to [[2017]], through the guest appearances he was able to score.

Before podcasting, Adam dabbled in credit card fraud, but wouldn't stay to long in the biz due to his friends getting caught and sent to jail. He then became the owner of a BMX forum, which had a blog section for himself. In this blog section, he admitted to having DMd a teenage girl while being in his 20s.

===No Jumper===

In it's prime, No Jumper saw many, shitty [[SoundCloud]] rappers appear before they were obsessed over by teen girls and stoner manchildren. This made it a hotspot for wiggers who thought they could be the next [[6ix9ine]]. This would then over saturate the market, causing a disinterest in the podcast, not to mention the rappers who did appear on the podcast, literally dying out.

==Whore + Cuckhold==

He married a porn "star" and some weeks later she commited beastilality with a big, bad, stinky mulatto nigger on video.

Similar to [[Turkey Tom]] and [[Idubbz]], this prompted the epic internet hoarde to decend upon Adam and call him a cuck.

San Diego Mosque Massacre

2026-06-06T19:48:57Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Wpd thingy addded

{{distinguish|John Earnest}}
{{gem}}
{{corner|lr|[[File:Myley.png|200px|link=]]}}
{{corner|br|[[File:Myley.png|200px|link=]]}}
{{spoiler|[https://nypost.com/2026/05/18/us-news/san-diego-mosque-where-mass-shooting-left-3-dead-has-controversial-history-including-ties-to-9-11-hijackers/ the mosque had ties to the 9/11 hijackers]}}
{{spoiler|the security guard they killed was a Nazi}}
{{an hero|[[File:CainAnhero.gif|230px|link=]]}}
{{Christian hero}}
{{Failsathero}}
{{Brenton Copycat|type=TWO MORE TARRANTULAS}}
{{Columbine Copycat|type=TWO MORE RETARDS}}
{{OffendedMuslims}}
{{Spics}}
{{ib|[[File:CalebEdgelord.jpg|140px]][[File:CalebEdgelord2.jpg|130px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Caleb Vazquez and Cain Clark'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|[[2008]] or [[2009]] (Cain) [[2007]] or [[2008]] (Caleb)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|May 18, [[2026]] (aged 17 and 18)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationalities'''|[[Spics|Latinx Americunts]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 3 [[Epic Fail|(all by Cain)]], injured 1 (indirectly)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|Not even close}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Co-Op Mode, open world VR}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes (Cain) No, killed by Cain (Caleb)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Neo-Nazi|Neo-Nazi crybaby accelerationism]]}}
{{Ibend}}

{{Quote|my religion is the white race|Caleb, the 70% [[Meximutt]] white supremacist.}}

'''Caleb Liam [[Spic|Vazquez]]'''{{Columbiner}}{{Christian}}{{Nazi}}{{Incel}} and '''Cain Lee Clark'''{{Columbiner}}{{Christian}}{{Nazi}}{{Incel}} are the latest <s>mass</s> shooters, and nowadays it's only 1 of these 3; either it was 2 gay [[trannies]] embarking on a journey to join the 41% (some dumbass rightoids believed this just because of Caleb and Cain's long hair), 2 [[Israel|ISIS]] patriots sent by the glorious [[Allah]] to shoot up Shia mosques, or finally, 2 [[neo-Nazi]] [[incel]] [[SIEGE™ Mask]] [[LARPer]]s who [[Randy Robert Stair|couldn't frag more than 3]], and this time, it ended up being the third! 2 [[spics]] decided it was a good idea to shoot up an Islamic school in [[San Diego]] just 30 minutes from where [[John Earnest]] got his [[High Score|low score]]. They referred to themselves as "[[Tarrantulas|Sons of Tarrant]]" as if [[Tarrant]] would have enjoyed [[Mpreg|giving birth]] to these 2 [[inbred]] faggots.

==Shooting==
Caleb and Cain exited the car, entered the school with plans to burn it, and got into a gunfight with '''Amin Abdullah'''{{Nazi}}{{Muslim}} ([[Deadname]]: '''Brian Matthew [[Climax]]'''{{Christian}}). Amin shot one of them, but Caleb and Cain returned fire and barely even managed to kill him before killing 2 more oldfags. The lulzy part is that Amin praised [[Hitler]] on [[Facebook|Kikebook]], meaning these 2 faggots killed their own kind. They ran out of the building after Amin not only security-cucked but also [[Stephan Balliet|door-cucked]] them, and then they went and did a drive-by shooting on a [[Irony|white]] farmer instead. The irony gets even better; they tried to protect the white race, Christianity, and nature, despite being spics, but then proceeded to shoot white people and ruin their farms, similar to how [[Hugo Jackson|a half-Sri Lankan, half-Colombian immigrant stabbed one white Swedish teacher to save the white race]]. Some of the plants were damaged and the farmer was shot in the head, but he was wearing a helmet, so he didn't die. After they parked the car, Caleb put the rifle in his mouth (which ''everyone'' knows is the worst method of suicide), but sadly, the gun jammed. Caleb pussied out and finally decided that he wanted to keep his [[iPod]], but his friend was ''not'' having it, so he shot Caleb twice (except the camera wasn't fucking pointed towards him) before thankfully [[An hero|removing himself from the gene pool]] via 9mm mouthwash. He also aimed the gun at his chin, just like [[Solomon Henderson]], which is the worst way to commit suicide, so Cain didn't die instantly. Instead, he choked on his blood and gurgled to death. The funniest part? Amin was a convert, not born Muslim, so technically, they just killed 3 Christians (including themselves), the one thing they promised to protect. Oh, and Cain did all of the work while Caleb didn't kill anybody.

<center>
{|align="center" cellspacing="25"
{{frame|
[[File:AminNazi.jpeg|320px]]
[[File:AmirAminConnection.jpeg|634px]]
}}
</center>

===List of muzzies burning in Hell===
*'''Amin Abdullah''', [[Brenton Tarrant|51]] [[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|45px]]
*'''Mansour Kaziha''', 78 [[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|45px]]
*'''Nadir Awad''', 57 [[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|45px]]

===Injured===

*'''Unnamed man''', {{Hover|18+|age not specified but he's an adult}}[[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|45px]]

===Gameplay===
<center>
{{Frame|{{fv|eqvids|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|[[File:The Daily SneedTM - A portion of the livestream from yesterday. No audio wcjCQg.mp4|750px]]
|[[File:SanDiegoCCTV.mp4|750px]]
|[[File:DashcamSanDiego.mp4|750px]]
|[[File:CBS News - After two gunmen attacked the Islamic Center of San Diego they fled 7ttLOj (1).mp4|750px]]
|[[File:SanDiegoMosqueStreamWithAudio.mp4|750px|Audio reconstruction]]
}}|border=#FFFFFF|background=#FFFFFF}}
</center>

===Perpetrators===
[[File:CainClarkkk.png|thumb|140px|Who the media thought was Cain.]]
[[File:CalebGambiling.mp4|thumb|240px|[[Foreshadowing|"PLEASE SHOOT YOURSELF ON CAM"]]]]
Due to the [[Cops|pigs]] being hesitant to release any information, the media began taking random jabs at who the perpetrators were. When they stumbled across their names, they went to Instagram and searched for suspects and found some random Californian spics with the same names. This caused the Muzzie dogs to send the "suspects" and their families bomb and death threats, {{twitter|amyforsandiego/status/2056901889967726746|causing one of the two to make a statement to stop the harassment, lol}}. They also for whatever reason said that they were a trans Nazi couple. However, when moar information was released, they realized it was 2 Sharty schizos instead. Cain, the 17-year-old, played [[The Coffin of Andy and Leyley]] and even made a tribute group to Ashley Graves on [[Steam]]. They both met each other online and were [[v&]] and fedded together on Monday, a few days before the attack, but the cops, being cops, let it slide, and only warned their parents about "the dangers of radicalism" (how did they see a 40 MB file dubbed "The New Crusade" and "Death to the World" on their computers and let it slide?!). The pigs also found 30+ weapons at their home that they didn't fucking use or bring to the attack, including crossbows and knives. The younger shooter, Cain, was also a few weeks away from graduating, meaning he could have given actual purpose to his life rather than just killing {{Hover|3 of his own kind|including themselves}}.

===Otto===
'''Otto'''{{Columbiner}} was a [[WPD]] user who watched the shooting live and is the only reason we have the shitty recording of the stream seen above. Otto (also known by the alias "Damska") is a TCCfag who obsessed over [[Payton Gendron]], and {{Glowtext|watched the stream and was friends with both shooters.}} Instead of reporting the fucking shooting, Damska decided not to, and instead decided to binge-watch an entire 20-minute "Muslim slaughter" before they even got to the mosque (which was more than enough time to report them). Otto, now freaking out, deleted his WPD account, TikTok account, Discord, and all other traces of himself to not get raped by glowies, but believe it or not, this is Otto's ''second'' time watching a livestreamed massacre! The first was when a 16-year-old TCC Dumblr fag streamed his plan to attack his Ukrainian school but got [[v&]] due to him releasing his plans on Tumblr, and Otto didn't even bother reporting him either (only the others did)! Otto is either a glownigger sent by [[Mossad]] or a retarded inbred child.
*{{archive|2026.05.21-001859/https://watchpeopledie.tv/h/social/post/498658/massive-update-on-san-diego-islamic|Moar info here}}
[[File:OttoSanDiego.png|center|1000px]]

==Graded Score==
{{GradedScore|3|Only 3 kills in a place where niggers huddle around in corners|13|Killed everybody in sight except for the farmer|5|Dressed like edgelords|10|Not even [[The Donald]] cared, he just shut down Jewish schools for a short while, a fair share of muzzie dogs [[BAWWWWW]]'d on Xitter|10|For livestreaming it|41|F+|The Coffin of Caleb and Cain}}

{{Wanted|1}}

==Loadout==
<div align="center">
{|class="wikitable" width="60%"
!colspan="2"|Class Setup
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Ruger Mini-14
[[File:GTA4IconsM14Scope.png|center|140px]]
|
*Stolen from his mother, had paint on the guns. Used by [[Breivik]] too. Shared between both. '''65~80 Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': Pump-action shotgun
[[File:GTA4IconsREMINGTON870.png|center|140px]]
|
*Specifics not known, also owned by and stolen from Caleb's mother, also had white paint on it. Shared between both. '''30~55 Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Tertiary''': Smith & Wesson M&P
[[File:GTA4IconsGlock.png|center|140px]]
|
*Just like the latter. "Race war now" was scrawled on it. Shared between both. Used by Cain to shoot Caleb and himself. '''15~30 Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Quaternary''': Gas cans
[[File:GasCan.png|center|140px]]
|
*[[Fail|Unused]]. Had SS markings on them.
|-
|
*'''Perk 1''': Nazi
[[File:Swastika_Alpha.png|center|80px]]
|
*'''Double damage against Muslims, Americans, non-Aryans and Jews.'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 2''': Tarrant Disciple
[[File:Brenton Tarrant icon.png|center|80px]]
|
*'''Double damage against Muslims, niggers, and browns.'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 3''': Christian
[[File:Badass jesus.jpg|center|80px]]
|
*'''+45% damage to those who follow the world rather than Christ.'''
|-
|
* '''Spell 1''': SIEGE Mask™
[[File:SiegeMask.jpg|center|80px]]
|
*'''Double damage against NPCs in a educative institution Triple if they are in Brazil Sex Appeal stat cuts a quarter + Intelligence stat cuts in a half.'''
|-
|
*'''Spell 2''': Incel
[[File:SupremeGentlemanB&W.jpg|center|80px]]
|
*'''Double or triple damage against women, children and fuckboys. Quadruple or quintuple if they are from 16 to 25 years old.'''
|-
|
*'''Spell 3''': Fictional Character Love
[[File:XiaroR34Bikini.png|center|80px]]
|
*'''An hero probability increases Intelligence stat decreases a half A triple if they have tranny or gay ideas.'''
|}
</center>
</div>

==Manifesto==
If you think they aren't retarded enough, just look at their retarded manifesto. They mention [[William Atchison]], [[DNB]], [[The Coffin of Andy and Leyley|Ashley Graves]], and [[Ongezellig|Mymy Schoppenboer]] as idols. They also see themselves as [[Contradiction|ecofascist accelerationists]], which is even more retarded and contradictory. Caleb also has a 2,000+ word rant about Zellig and [[foids]]. Their manifesto is the most contradictory shit ''[[evar]]''; despite Caleb being an "incel" and "hating foids", he himself had an (online) girlfriend (hard to believe, but keep in mind [[you]] will never get one either), thus making him a fakecel, not a truecel. Don't take our word for it, read their schizo ramblings yourself.
<center>
<gallery>
File:The New Crusade.pdf|[[Media:The New Crusade.pdf|Their dogshit manifesto]] (Click link to read)
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
{{cg|Gallery|CalebAndCain|center|<gallery perrow="6"> 
File:SANDIEGOSPICNIGGERCARAMALDANSENNIGGERDANCE.mp4|Imagine dying to this thing.
File:SandiegoQDAGGOTNIGGERDANCE.mp4|Dancing with his waifu.
File:CALEBISASPICNIGGAINSANDIEGO.jpg|She's not real, retard. Take your meds.
File:CalebAndClark.jpg|Caleb and Cain fishing.
File:CalebOKsign.jpg|Looks like a faggot.
File:CalebMasked.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="6"> 
File:Calebandmymy.jpg|He probably made a hole in that plushie so he could fuck it.
File:CalebVasquez.png|[[Brenton Tarrant|Remember lads...]]
File:CalebEdgelord2.jpg
File:Amin dead.jpg|[[MSM]] accidentally showed a corpse on TV.
File:San Diego corpse.jpg
File:San Diego another corpse.jpg
File:San Diego gun.jpg|Zoomed in.
File:GasCanisterSanDiego.png|Zoomed in. You see that SS sticker?
File:SchoolyearPhotoSanDiegoCaleb.png
File:Surfacelevel1.jpg
File:Surfacelevel2.jpg
File:CalebReview.jpg
File:OkayNOthsowingcalebface.jpg|Take that German patch off, you spic.
</gallery>}}

==[[Tl;dr]]==
<center>
{|align="center" cellspacing="25"
{{frame|
[[File:ConclusionSanDiego.png|320px]]
[[File:MeximuttSanDiego.png|511px]]
}}
</center>

2 incestuous gay schizo Nazi spics (probably glowies too) who could barely livestream were sent from Niggerhell to shoot up an [[Al-Qaeda]] mosque, only to get [[Stephan Balliet|cucked by a door]]. This is the new generation of [[mass shooters]] and no one can do anything about it.

[[Fact|ZOG won, bluds]].

==Wearethelads==
[[File:Wearethelads.png|100px|thumb|left|In case you were wondering what the faggot looked like.]]

Not even 2 weeks after this dogshit excuse of an attack, they got their first copycat. An 11-year-old Cockumbiner Z-patriot Tarrantula [[wop]] under the alias '''Wearethelads'''{{Columbiner}}{{Incel}}{{Nazi}} (also going under the alias '''Alberto88''') stabbed up his school and ended up failing even harder than these 2 [[twinks]]. He also attempted to stream it but failed. He walked up to his technology teacher and cut her hand before getting his ass kicked. Like all killer autists, Wearethelads wrote and painted typical [[TCC]] cringe on his weapons, such as "[[Gabriel Mutti]]", "[[Sandy Hook]]", "[[Elliot Rodger]]", "[[Incel]]" (how can an 11-year-old be an incel?!), and "[[Brenton Tarrant|-51]]". [[Timofey Kulyamov|Like]] [[Gabriel Mutti|his]] [[Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|predecessors]], Wearethelads also wrote some edgy shit on his shirt. So basically your usual TCC LARP but without one of those shitty [[skull mask]]s this time. Theres a 50/50 chance he lurked on ED considering the lingo he used.

<center>
<gallery>
File:MozerralaKnifeWearethelads.png|He thought this mozzarella knife would do something.
File:WearetheladsGear.png|If you're too lazy to translate, that's "me ne frego" which means "I don't care".
File:WearetheladsSiegHeil.png|Dylan Klebold shirt.
File:Wearethefags.png|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Wonder where he learned those words from]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Brenton Tarrant]]
*[[Columbine]] - 2 non-Latinx shooters.
*[[John Earnest]]
*[[Parasocial Syndrome]] - What Cain had.
*[[Payton Gendron]]
*[[Ryan Palmeter]], [[Solomon Henderson]] - Fellow soyteen shooters.
*[[San Bernardino Shooting]] - The opposite of this.
*[[Schoolocaust]] - What they committed (and probably what they played too).
*[[Suzano School Shooting]] - 2 [[Portuspic]] shooters.
*[[The Coffin of Andy and Leyley]] - Cain's sex fantasy.

==External Links==
*{{Wikilink|2026_Islamic_Center_of_San_Diego_shooting|TOW coverage}}
*Incel.is threads:
**[https://incels.is/threads/new-shooting.874751/ New Shooting] - {{archive|cJuqS}}
**[https://incels.is/threads/caleb-vazquez-one-of-the-san-diego-mosque-mass-shooters-had-an-account-here.874987/ Caleb Vazquez, one of the San Diego Mosque Mass Shooters, had an account here] - {{archive|FFKeK}}
*{{WPD|h/shooting/post/498180/islamic-center-of-san-diego-shooting|WPD thread}}
*{{Kf|san-diego-islamic-center-shooting.245771|KF thread}}
*[https://www.sncapedia.org/wiki/San_Diego_Islamic_Center_Shooting SNCApedia]
*{{facebook|caleb.vazquez.9047|Caleb's Facebook account}}
*[https://watchpeopledie.tv/@Jimboboiii_ Calebs alledged WPD account]
*Steam shit:
**<s>{{Steamgroup|AshleyGravesSupremacy|Cain's Steam group}}</s> '''Baleeted''' - {{archive|kC69i|(archive)}}
**{{Steamid|SurfaceLevel|Cain's Steam account}}

{{8chan}}
{{Anheroes}}
{{Brenton Tarrant}}
{{Christianity}}
{{Columbine}}
{{Education}}
{{Elliot Rodger}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Islam}}
{{Nazis}}
{{Spanish}}
[[Category:2026]]
[[Category:America]]
[[Category:California]]
[[Category:Crime]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Murder]]

John Samir Zawahri

2026-06-05T17:38:57Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* Gaylerry */

{{AlGore}}
{{crap}}
{{an police hero|[[File:John Samir Zawahri Dead.jpg|200px|link=]]}}
{{ib|[[File:John Samir Zawahri.png|200px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''John Samir Zawahri'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|June 8, 1989}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|June 7, 2013 (aged 23)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Lebanese]]-[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagLebanon.png]] [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 5, injured 4}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No, killed by police}}
{{Ibend}}
'''John Samir Zawahri''' is yet another [[mass shooter|spree shooter]] to be added to [[WoW]]'s [[Elliot Rodger|roster]] [[James Holmes|of]] [[Anders Breivik|killers]]. On June 7, [[2013]] - just one day before his [[birthday]] - he shot his father and his brother and pwnt 3 other fags at Santa Monica College.

==Loadout==

<center>
{|class="wikitable" width="45%" style="text-align:left"
!colspan="2"|Class Setup
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': AR-15 style privately made rifle
[[Image:GTA4IconsM4Rifle.png|center|80px]]
|
*'''25~35 Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': Pietta Model 1858 New Army
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsM29Magnum.png|80px]]</center>
|
*'''20~30 Damage.'''
|-
|}
</center>

== Graded Score ==

{{GradedScore|5|4 injured|11|Mostly accurate|20|Killed his family, shot up a school AND had a shootout with the pigs|9|Decent amount|20|For [[Badass|lighting his house on fire]]|65|C-|WIN}}

{{Wanted|2}}

==Those who have been pwnt==
*Samir Zawahri (age: 55) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]
*Christopher Zawahri (age: 25) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]
*Carlos Navarro Franco (age: 68) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]
*Marcela Diaz Franco (age: 26) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]
*Margarita Gomez (age: 68) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]

==Gaylerry==
[[File:SantaMonicaDuneCoonNoShoes2.jpg]]
[[File:SantaMonicaDuneCoonNoShoesjpg.jpeg]]

==Gameplay Footage==

[[File:SantaGameplayFootage.mp4]]

==External Links==
*[https://murderpedia.org/male.Z/z/zawahri-john.htm Article on Murderpedia]
*{{wikilink|2013_Santa_Monica_shootings|TOW Coverage}}

{{Education}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Blizzard}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:California]]
[[Category:2013]]

File:SantaGameplayFootage.mp4

2026-06-05T17:36:05Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Posted this to plebbit back in 2024 i bloody well did

== Summary ==
Posted this to plebbit back in 2024 i bloody well did

John Samir Zawahri

2026-06-05T14:39:21Z

LordGrimThInvincible:

{{AlGore}}
{{crap}}
{{an police hero|[[File:John Samir Zawahri Dead.jpg|200px|link=]]}}
{{ib|[[File:John Samir Zawahri.png|200px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''John Samir Zawahri'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|June 8, 1989}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|June 7, 2013 (aged 23)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Lebanese]]-[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagLebanon.png]] [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 5, injured 4}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No, killed by police}}
{{Ibend}}
'''John Samir Zawahri''' is yet another [[mass shooter|spree shooter]] to be added to [[WoW]]'s [[Elliot Rodger|roster]] [[James Holmes|of]] [[Anders Breivik|killers]]. On June 7, [[2013]] - just one day before his [[birthday]] - he shot his father and his brother and pwnt 3 other fags at Santa Monica College.

==Loadout==

<center>
{|class="wikitable" width="45%" style="text-align:left"
!colspan="2"|Class Setup
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': AR-15 style privately made rifle
[[Image:GTA4IconsM4Rifle.png|center|80px]]
|
*'''25~35 Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': Pietta Model 1858 New Army
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsM29Magnum.png|80px]]</center>
|
*'''20~30 Damage.'''
|-
|}
</center>

== Graded Score ==

{{GradedScore|5|4 injured|11|Mostly accurate|20|Killed his family, shot up a school AND had a shootout with the pigs|9|Decent amount|20|For [[Badass|lighting his house on fire]]|65|C-|WIN}}

{{Wanted|2}}

==Those who have been pwnt==
*Samir Zawahri (age: 55) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]
*Christopher Zawahri (age: 25) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]
*Carlos Navarro Franco (age: 68) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]
*Marcela Diaz Franco (age: 26) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]
*Margarita Gomez (age: 68) [[File:Pedo bear too old.png|48px]]

==Gaylerry==
[[File:SantaMonicaDuneCoonNoShoes2.jpg]]
[[File:SantaMonicaDuneCoonNoShoesjpg.jpeg]]

==External Links==
*[https://murderpedia.org/male.Z/z/zawahri-john.htm Article on Murderpedia]
*{{wikilink|2013_Santa_Monica_shootings|TOW Coverage}}

{{Education}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Blizzard}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:California]]
[[Category:2013]]

File:SantaMonicaDuneCoonNoShoes2.jpg

2026-06-05T14:36:17Z

LordGrimThInvincible: Moar gore!!!!!

== Summary ==
Moar gore!!!!!

File:SantaMonicaDuneCoonNoShoesjpg.jpeg

2026-06-05T14:35:15Z

LordGrimThInvincible: No shoes lmao

== Summary ==
No shoes lmao

Puerto Hurraco Shooting

2026-06-05T13:14:29Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* Gallery */

{{AlGore}}
{{An hero}}
{{Truespic}}

{{ib|[[File:AntonioandEmilioI.jpg|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Antonio Izquierdo (left) Emilio Izquierdo (right)'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Dagos]]  [[File:Miniflagspain.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|9 dead, 12 injured}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Co-Op Mode}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No, died of cardiac arrest in 2006 (Emilio) Yes, in prison in 2010 (Antonio)}}
{{Ibend}}
On August 26, 1990, 2 brothers who had quarrels with the enemy family and killed the enemy family (Cabanillas Family) with a pair of pump-action shotguns. Later, both got V& and sentenced to prison for making a columbine in the village.

== La historia ==

Both families, had disputes over lands and marriages. They are all incestuous and fucked each other. Also, one of the brothers of the family Izquierdos/Patapelas, who died in prison, killed one of the cabanillas/Amadeos family, causing the other family to kill Antonio and Emilio's mother by burning her, scoring 1 in Fire Emblem. Pissed off both, decided to pack the shotguns for one of the lulziest days in Extremaduran and Spanish history.

== La Masacre de Puerto Hurraco ==
The pair, lied to their sisters saying that they were going to catch some turtle doves with their pump-action shotguns. Arriving on the village, they began the massacre, killing 3 sisters, daughters of Antonio Cabanillas, the enemy. When Cabanillas got out and asked the brothers, both shot him dead. After that, the pair went on shooting spree, scoring anyone around. They scored 5 extra fraga and wounded 12 before fleeing. Antonio was captured by policemen the next day. He was aiming at them, attempting to an hero by police. Emilio was also found later and V&.

Both were sentenced to [[Epic fail|684]] years in prison and their sisters got 62 and 49 years in prison, respectively.

In 2006, Emilio died from a cardiac arrest in prison. In 2010, Antonio [[An hero|An Heroed]] in prison by hanging himself with a pair of blankets.

==Gallery==
{{morphquote|Puerto Hurraco Trolling||font-weight; bold
|Antes de salir, nos tomamos un Lexatin de 3 miligramos para que no nos temblara el pulso al apretar el gatillo|The bros' on the plan
|Before leaving, we took a 3-milligram Lexatin so that our pulse wouldn't shake when we pulled the trigger.|Translation}}

<center>
<Gallery>
PuertoHurraco.jpeg|The carnage scene
AntonioEmilioBAW.png|V&
AntonioIzquierdoV&.png|V& again
AIV&2.png|Another look
KidsPwnedPuertoHurraco.png|[[Pwned|Those who were at the wrong place, at the wrong time]]
AntonioAndEmilioIzquierdo2.png|The two, on the questioning
EIHourZero.png|Taken from Hour Zero [[Columbine|Puerto Hurraco]]
AIHourZero.png|Taken from Hour Zero [[Columbine|Puerto Hurraco]]
Nevar4getPUERTOHURRACO.jpeg|NEVAH 4GET IT
</Gallery>
</Center>

==Video==
<center>
{{frame|{{videoframe|nootnoot|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>hjN29dVQ4TQ</youtube>
}}|border=white|background=white}}
</center>

==Loadout==

<center>
{|class="wikitable" width="45%" style="text-align:left"
!colspan="2"|Antonio Izquierdo
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Remington Model 870
<center>[[Image:GTA4IconsM870.png|70px]]</center>
|
*'''Does 35-45 pts. of Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 1''': True Spic (From Spain) <center>[[File:Open shirt and gold chains3.jpg|70px]]</center>
|
*Oil and gold chains on the chest, shining in the sun because of open shirt, blinds enemies. '''+6% to stealth'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 2''': Vengarse (To take revenge)
|
*'''(Short lived berserker phase that grants a +25% to weapon damage but causes stamina to drain quickly (Imposes a -60% disadvantage to accuracy skill (Imposes a -50% disadvantage to intellect'''
|}
</center>

<center>
{|class="wikitable" width="45%" style="text-align:left"
!colspan="2"|Emilio Izquierdo
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Remington Model 870
<center>[[Image:GTA4IconsM870.png|70px]]</center>
|
*'''Does 35-45 pts. of Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 1''' True Spic (From Spain) <center>[[File:Open shirt and gold chains3.jpg|70px]]</center>
|
*Oil and gold chains on the chest, shining in the sun because of open shirt, blinds enemies. '''+6% to stealth'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 2''': Vengarse (To take revenge)
|
*'''(Short lived berserker phase that grants a +25% to weapon damage but causes stamina to drain quickly (Imposes a -60% disadvantage to accuracy skill (Imposes a -50% disadvantage to intellect'''
|-
|}
</center>

==Graded Score==
{{GradedScore|9|Kills|7|Should practice more|10|Revenge over revenge over revenge|5|Iberian chaos|5|For [[Columbine|columbinin']] before 1999|36|D-|Couldn't beat [[José Marimón]]}}
{{CustomWantedLevel|2|[[File:PoliciaNacionalSpain.jpg|200px]]|Policia Nacional}}

==See Also==
*[[Columbine]]
*[[Devon Erickson and Alec McKinney]]
*[[Guilherme Taucci Monteiro and Luiz Henrique de Castro]]
*[[Medianeira School Shooting]]
*[[2014 Las Vegas Shooting]]
*[[San Bernardino Shooting]]
*[[Boston Marathon Bombing]]
*[[Barcelona Death Van 2017]]
*[[Academy Maniacs]]
*[[Spain]]
==External Links==
* {{Wikilink|Puerto_Hurraco_massacre|TOW coverage}}

{{Anheroes}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{Gun control}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Spanish}}

2014 Las Vegas Shooting

2026-06-05T13:12:27Z

LordGrimThInvincible: /* Graded Score */

{{Wasteland}}
{{AlGore}}
{{An hero}}
{{An police hero}}
{{ib|[[File:Jerad Dwain Miller.jpg|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Jerad and Amanda Miller'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed [[Win|3]], injured [[Win|0]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Co-Op Mode}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes (Amanda) No, killed by police (Jerad)}}
{{Ibend}}

'''Jerad Dwain Miller''' and '''Amanda Renee Miller''' were two faggots who were the perpetrators of the [[2014]] Las Vegas shooting, before becoming [[an hero]].

==Background==
Jerad Miller was born in 1983 and had a peculiar life. Later, he met Amanda Miller, whom he married.

He got a felony COONviction for devilweed and had an axe to grind ever since. His parents were boomer tradcucks so they just bible thumped at him about "taking responsibility" or whatever koshervative nonsense about larping as "muh responsible adult".

==YouTube Channel==
Not much can be described about his [[YouTube]] Career, other than he had a repetitive career where he uploaded videos where he shows his cats and talking to them about his anti government tendencies.
<center>{{Frame|{{fv|eqvids|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>xO2ONbkACCU</youtube>
|<youtube>rVdeAVXVV4s</youtube>
|<youtube>c3gv3xZaq1Q</youtube>
}}|border=#FFFFFF|background=#FFFFFF}}</center>
Prior to the shooting, he had accounts on Facebook and YouTube, where he made ranting posts and videos.
==2014 Las Vegas shootings==
[[File:2014lasvegasvictims.jpg|thumb|JOGbots]]
They were a pair of loony fuckers from [[Las Vegas]], who had a criminal past. They shot up a restaurant and killed two cops, then fled to a [[Walmart]]. They murdered an armed citizen who attempted to stop them. They got into a shootout and lost, with Jerad getting killed and Amanda becoming an hero. A picture of them dressed up as the Joker and Harley Quinn garnered a lot of attention online after their attacks. They had a connection to Columbine, as they (notably Jerad) had a strong admiration of Eric and Dylan, bordering on idolization. They apparently wanted to "follow in their footsteps".

===(shitty) Gameplay footage===

<center>
{{frame|{{videoframe|nootnoot|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>CQOHBSuY7TM</youtube>
}}
|border=white|background=white}}
</center>

==Loadout==
<div align="center">
{|class="wikitable" width="40%"
!colspan="2"|Class Setup
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Remington 870
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsM870.png|70px]]</center>
|
*A very common and powerful shotgun. '''65-155 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': Rossi .38 Revolver
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsColtPython.png|70px]]</center>
|
*A revolver made by a Brazilian arms company, probably is shit for that reason. '''10-27 Damage.'''
|-
|}
</div>

==Graded Score==
{{GradedScore|3|0 injured.|15| |12|Kill 3|2|Ok...|10|Kill my women|39|F-|I'm the joker baby}}

{{Wanted|1}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:AmandaJeradMiller01.jpg
File:AmandaJeradMiller02.jpg
File:AmandaJeradMiller03.jpg| [[Why So Serious?|Why so serious]] Amanda?
File:AmandaJeradMiller04.png
File:AmandaJeradMiller05.jpg
File:AmandaJeradMiller06.jpg| The two in happier times
File:AmandaJeradMiller07.jpg
File:AmandaJeradMiller08.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
*[[Devon Erickson and Alec McKinney]]
*[[Guilherme Taucci Monteiro and Luiz Henrique de Castro]]
*[[Medianeira School Shooting]]
*[[Batman]]
*[[Las Vegas]]

==External Links==
*{{Wikilink|2014_Las_Vegas_shootings|TOW coverage}}
*{{yt|@|jeradmiller1101|Jerad Miller}}
*[http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/bundy-blm/rejected-revolution-jerad-and-amanda-miller-decided-start-their-own Rejected by the revolution, Jerad and Amanda Miller decided to start their own]{{Archive|1ejwA}}
*[http://lasvegassun.com/news/2014/jun/09/look/ A look inside the lives of shooters Jerad Miller, Amanda Miller]{{Archive|w7BZ6}}
{{High Scores}}
{{gun control}}
{{Anheroes}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:2014]]
[[Category:Murder]]

2014 Las Vegas Shooting

2026-06-05T04:28:12Z

LordGrimThInvincible: gameplay footage has been planted

{{Wasteland}}
{{AlGore}}
{{An hero}}
{{An police hero}}
{{ib|[[File:Jerad Dwain Miller.jpg|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Jerad and Amanda Miller'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed [[Win|3]], injured [[Win|0]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Co-Op Mode}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes (Amanda) No, killed by police (Jerad)}}
{{Ibend}}

'''Jerad Dwain Miller''' and '''Amanda Renee Miller''' were two faggots who were the perpetrators of the [[2014]] Las Vegas shooting, before becoming [[an hero]].

==Background==
Jerad Miller was born in 1983 and had a peculiar life. Later, he met Amanda Miller, whom he married.

He got a felony COONviction for devilweed and had an axe to grind ever since. His parents were boomer tradcucks so they just bible thumped at him about "taking responsibility" or whatever koshervative nonsense about larping as "muh responsible adult".

==YouTube Channel==
Not much can be described about his [[YouTube]] Career, other than he had a repetitive career where he uploaded videos where he shows his cats and talking to them about his anti government tendencies.
<center>{{Frame|{{fv|eqvids|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>xO2ONbkACCU</youtube>
|<youtube>rVdeAVXVV4s</youtube>
|<youtube>c3gv3xZaq1Q</youtube>
}}|border=#FFFFFF|background=#FFFFFF}}</center>
Prior to the shooting, he had accounts on Facebook and YouTube, where he made ranting posts and videos.
==2014 Las Vegas shootings==
[[File:2014lasvegasvictims.jpg|thumb|JOGbots]]
They were a pair of loony fuckers from [[Las Vegas]], who had a criminal past. They shot up a restaurant and killed two cops, then fled to a [[Walmart]]. They murdered an armed citizen who attempted to stop them. They got into a shootout and lost, with Jerad getting killed and Amanda becoming an hero. A picture of them dressed up as the Joker and Harley Quinn garnered a lot of attention online after their attacks. They had a connection to Columbine, as they (notably Jerad) had a strong admiration of Eric and Dylan, bordering on idolization. They apparently wanted to "follow in their footsteps".

===(shitty) Gameplay footage===

<center>
{{frame|{{videoframe|nootnoot|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>CQOHBSuY7TM</youtube>
}}
|border=white|background=white}}
</center>

==Loadout==
<div align="center">
{|class="wikitable" width="40%"
!colspan="2"|Class Setup
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Remington 870
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsM870.png|70px]]</center>
|
*A very common and powerful shotgun. '''65-155 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': Rossi .38 Revolver
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsColtPython.png|70px]]</center>
|
*A revolver made by a Brazilian arms company, probably is shit for that reason. '''10-27 Damage.'''
|-
|}
</div>

==Graded Score==
{{GradedScore|2|0 injured.|15| |12|Kill 3|2|Ok...|10|Kill my women|39|F-|I'm the joker baby}}

{{Wanted|1}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:AmandaJeradMiller01.jpg
File:AmandaJeradMiller02.jpg
File:AmandaJeradMiller03.jpg| [[Why So Serious?|Why so serious]] Amanda?
File:AmandaJeradMiller04.png
File:AmandaJeradMiller05.jpg
File:AmandaJeradMiller06.jpg| The two in happier times
File:AmandaJeradMiller07.jpg
File:AmandaJeradMiller08.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
*[[Devon Erickson and Alec McKinney]]
*[[Guilherme Taucci Monteiro and Luiz Henrique de Castro]]
*[[Medianeira School Shooting]]
*[[Batman]]
*[[Las Vegas]]

==External Links==
*{{Wikilink|2014_Las_Vegas_shootings|TOW coverage}}
*{{yt|@|jeradmiller1101|Jerad Miller}}
*[http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/bundy-blm/rejected-revolution-jerad-and-amanda-miller-decided-start-their-own Rejected by the revolution, Jerad and Amanda Miller decided to start their own]{{Archive|1ejwA}}
*[http://lasvegassun.com/news/2014/jun/09/look/ A look inside the lives of shooters Jerad Miller, Amanda Miller]{{Archive|w7BZ6}}
{{High Scores}}
{{gun control}}
{{Anheroes}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:2014]]
[[Category:Murder]]