Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

Americunts

2025-01-07T02:29:09Z

Juiceoverflow: minor fixes

[[Image:For God and Country.jpg|300px|right]]
[[File:Americans.png|thumb|right|300px|Americans prepare to mate]]
'''Americunts''', (also known as '''Americans''', when singular '''[[Impossible|A-merry-cunt]]''') are the fattest breed of animals on [[Earth]]. Americans frequently visit [[jailbaitgallery.com]] and are made from [[Statistics|80% fat, 20% propaganda, and 100% FAIL]]. Their women are epicly [[ugly]] and their men have tiny penises (Ranking lower on average than most people except Indians and other gooks). Americans are those who call [[USA|'''The United States of America''']] (pronounced "Murka") home. A veritable [[jenkem|melting pot]] of races, creeds and [[England|colours]], this sub-human offshoot of humanity has been rendered practically [[Terri Schiavo|brain-dead]] by being force-fed vast quantities of shitty materialistic [[crap|garbage]] and relentlessly beaten about the head with the [[Old Media|Stupid Stick]]. The whole game was rigged from the start to make americunts the dumbest most gullible fucktards in World History.

The world's opinion of Americans is that they are [http://www.voanews.com/english/2007-08-27-voa60.cfm morbidly obese], arrogant bullies who, being [[liberal]] [[white trash|hillbillies]] with a severe case of the stupid, act like they are [[Ferrari Guy|God's gift to the planet Earth.]] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDVg9uGtzJ4 This is how they greet each other] Meanwhile, the rest of the world [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/about/show_anti-americans.html hates America] with unfathomable intensity, which Americans have convinced themselves is [[Nice try|'jealousy.']]

It is often asked of Americans and non-Americans alike, "[[Why do you hate America?]]" and, although there are [[over nine thousand]] answers to this question, the main reason is that the only thing that stands between the [[Arab]] nations of the [[Middle East]] pushing [[Israel]] into the ocean (exactly like those [[nazi|genocidal, anti-semitic, land-theiving white people from europe]] pretending to be middle-eastern deserve) is the U.S. [[government]] and the American Public's [[BFF|undying support]] for the [[Jews]]. The Jews control were personally responsible for orchestrating the terrorist attacks on the [[9/11|world trade center]], in conjunction with the [[FBI]], [[DHS]], [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[W]].

Even the <s>[[nigger]]</s> <s>[[Donald_Drumpf|grifter]]</s> <s>[[Joe_Biden|pedo]]</s> [[Donald_Drumpf|grifter]] who runs America loves the Jews and supports the state of Israel, believing that Israel's existence is key to setting the stage for [[The Rapture]]. However, all Americans can identify with a nation built on faggotry, stolen land and the [[Pwn|subjugation]] of its [[Native Americans|savage Injun natives]].

Most importantly, it is a well-known fact that the IQ range of the general, ordinary American is [[retard|70 or lower]]; most folk with respectable levels of intelligence often flee to superior lands like yurop and get a STEM education there for free, instead of being subjugated to [[Over 9000]] trillion dollars of student loan debts from an American [[College]].

==The American People==
{{quote|The 100% American is 99% idiot.|George Bernard Shaw|actual quote}}

{{quote|hey fuck face, leave everybody alone. [[Typical|education don't matter worth a shit to me. i left school when i was seven]] and [[Lie|i make 5,000 bucks a month because i work hard.]] pussies like you don't know what hard work is. you can take yer precious education and shove it up yer ass and set fire too it. hard work and god is what makes the world go round, not education, and science, and politicians and goddamn sand niggers like you. click the X button at the corner of your screen for gods sake|JaredChastain1|Taken from a johnny rebel video on jewtube, and a perfect example of the typical NASCAR watching retard americunt}}

[[File:Genericamerican.jpg|thumb|right|What americans look like, according to [[Japan]]]]
[[File:Ddtmom.JPG|thumb|right|[[Truth|What they look like in reality]]]]
Poll after poll has shown that [[everyone|the majority]] of Americans are [[Prove me wrong|illiterate morons]], as well as homicidal mouth-breathers with mommy-issues. The polls have revealed such [[lulz|gems]] as ([http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/05/0502_060502_geography_2.html amongst other things]) the fact that over 70% of Americans either don't believe in [[evolution]] at all or believe that evolution is part of [[God]]'s [[1337]] plan. More 'Murkins believe in angels than evolution and don't know where the fuck their own country is, and will constantly ask you why you do not think, act or believe the way they do. Polls also show that most American adults can't name the three branches of their government, are unaware of how many Senators their state has (much less name him/her/them) - as well as not knowing what the [[CIA|FDA]] is or does [http://www.townhall.com/columnists/JonahGoldberg/2007/08/01/too_uninformed_to_vote].

Recent polls revealed that every one in five Americans could not locate the United States [[facepalm|when shown a map]]. The other 4/5 apparently possess a [[map]], an atlas and/or [[LOL WUT|a clue]], but could not spell '''cat''' if you spotted them a '''c''' and a '''t'''. [[The Chaser]] has also demonstrated that most Americans cannot name a country beginning with the letter "U," though this is not significant, as the average American cannot name any country whose name is composed of more than three letters.

Americans are a social group of obnoxious [[white]] fucks who can be described as arrogant, crude, defensive, dumb, [[fat]], [[gun]] crazy, incredibly [[gullible]], [[ignorant]] (no awareness so ain't inhibited to behave like a [[fucktard]]), inbred, homicide junkies, lawsuit junkies, plastic surgery junkies, therapy junkies, lazy, loud, nasal accented, <s>blonde</s> châtain, stupid, terrified, uncivilized, uneducated wackos..."Can't solve personal issues without gun, [[lawyer]] or [[A frank discussion of mental illness|therapist]]" such [[stereotype]]s means Americunts merits their status as the most ridiculed weirdos on Earth.

The main reason they are so fat is that they are too stupid to chew their food, tearing off whole chunks of unhealthy processed meat and swallowing it whole.

== Americunts And Geneology ==

{{Quote|I don't see much future for the Americans ... it's a decayed country. And they have their racial problem, and the problem of social inequalities ... my feelings against Americanism are feelings of hatred and deep repugnance ... everything about the behaviour of American society reveals that it's half Judaised, and the other half negrified. How can one expect a State like that to hold together?|Adolph Hitler}}

Probably, the biggest problem with Americunts is this Eugenics hold-over from the 1920s and believing that origin means something special. 
Many of the Editors here at [[Awesome|ED]] are multi-national and are aware that such obsessions with genetics and origins don't exist in [[Europe]]. 
It's like one ED Editor said, "Do you know what a child who has two [[Russia|Russian]] immigrant parents calls himself in [[France]]? FRENCH! Not Russian-French but French." 
For some reason [[retard|Americunts]] find it G-D awful important to know their ethnicity down to a single percent like some natural ability for language or mathmatics comes with it and this is why DNA companies are making money hand over fist telling stupid Americunts their genetic origin for [[money|$1,000 a pop]] because their [[Nazi|secret racial pride]] needs to be reassured that they are all white. 
So long as a favored position can be earned through proof of a favored ethnicity, say Native American, in job applications, scholorships, loans and promotions Americunts will never break from this obsession and always be a hotbed for racially charged wars. 

The real joke here is not how these [[retard|Americunts]] call themselves [[Germany|German]], [[England|English]] or [[Greece|Greek]] but when they go to these countries and they're called stupid, Americunt fuckwits that think genetics equals a learned cultural experience because they actually believe they'll automatically fit in. 

== American Heritage ==
Europeans often find Americans repulsive, even just looking at them. There is a reason why. The melting pot of white American identity has been formed by the rejects of Europe. Peoples so subhuman they could only be accepting in a nation of foreigners. Here are a small selection of these races.

*'''[[English]]'''
English are bastards and subhumans disconnected from any wider civilization. The ones which left to America were at the lower end of this gene pool, radical Protestants who despised tradition, authority and god. These fuckjobs left to the US in their droves to have a new country to implement their idiocy and inspired the American Revolution, fuelled by their atheistic enlightenment ideas.

*'''Scots-Irish'''
Scots-Irish is a misleading name for this exiled tribe, being neither fully Scottish, Irish or human. They were banished from Scotland and England for being such worthless subhumans and sent to Ireland, where they were again banished and continued to America, the only place accepting of such a vile race. There they were known as "white barbarians" and their savagery became quite useful in the clearing of the native American tribes. They continue to live in Ireland where their chimp outs continue to this day, god only hopes they will someday be exterminated.

==Varieties==
There are many various nationalities slurring around in the gigantic melting pot that is murrika, fighting and [[sex|sexing]] each other incessantly, each a bastardization of that particular race, twisted and deformed by the ignorant fumes that surround the states and it's people. Below we have split these filthy degenerates into three categories.

*'''[[Niggers|Afro-Americunts]]''': Fresh off the slave boats, these knuckle-dragging excuses for humanity flopped onto the shores of murrika and were thrown into captivity by the whiteys before they could say "watermelon". Fast forward a breezy couple hundred years or so, and the weak sympathizer [[Abraham Lincoln]] sets the Afro-Cunts free into the wilderness of America, free to [[Awkward |mingle with the whitey's who had them wiping their pink little butts for a couple of decades]]. The blacks then proceeded to suck up urban hip-hop gang culture with their [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|moderately]] sized [[cock|brown hoovers]] and evolved into the retarded gang-bangers you now see populating all local Fried Chicken outlets. Roughly 90% of them were wiped out through black on black violent gun crime so not a huge threa-'''[[Black Jesus|oh shit they president now!!11''']]

*'''[[Mexicans|Latino-Americunts]]''': Sombrero wearing border jumpers, these hairy brown sweatbags managed to gain access to America squirt out enough tiny brown babies that the border patrol just thought [[Lazy|"fuck it, there's too many"]] and sat back down on their fat asses. The beaners then proceeded spread all across the Americas, farting tacos and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik&feature=related taking jerbs.] Many also went off to become Latino gangbangers, pimping out their rides and rolling around in checkered buttoned up shirts just generally pissing off the whole neighborhood. And some even escalated to the great heights of [[Sabu|a filthy haxor snitch.]]

*'''[[White Devils|Caucasian-Americunts]]''': Basically what happened when sophisticated [[English]] settlers came to the "Land of the free" and somehow gained an ear-piercing drawl of an accent, and lost half their IQ. [[incest|Inbred]] gluttonous flabs of war-mongering flesh, the white American strives to be everything you hate, plus the added bonus of a superiority complex. There are many types of white American, all of them horrific, but the main divider would most likely be wealth. Down in the dregs of society the deformed [[hillbilly]] fucks his sister and downs another can of pabst blue ribbon, luckily these dribbling excuses for humanity are killing themselves out with various ill-advised stunts and drunken truck driving. Then there are the rich and middle class, grinning soulless funda''mental'' Christians, that would gladly rip your intestines out and drink the gooey fluid before even beginning to consider a tax raise, or free healthcare.

*'''[[Sand Niggers|Arabian-Americunts]]''': Well, the dirty Middle-Easterns who have apparently betrayed their America-Hatin', Terrorist ancestors and have succumbed to our redneck lifestyle, most of these types act like Niggers and are always seen wearing [[Chav|fucking Adidas Tracksuits.]] And also most Arabs vary between Pastemonger Arabs and Nigger Arabs (common misconception being they're all brown) Lebanese, Iranians, Syrians, Algerians and Tunisians are practically White. The Lebanese looking like Dagos, act like Dagos (just ask Australia, Light Brown Arabs being; Jordanians, Egyptians, Iraqis and Moroccans and the darker browns being of Arabian Gulf Countries... Last and least the Nigger Arabs being the Sudanese.

*'''[[Asians|Azn-Americunts]]''': Fresh-off-the-coolie boats are these slanted-eyed motherfuckers who are always finding ways to Jew the White Man. The "Math Jews" are a manipulative, conniving, suggestive race who always appear to pass better IQ tests than the White People, surpassing with Math, Computer Studies, Violin practice, they also make better Doctors. Though most Inner-City educated slant-eyes have great tendency to act and dress and think like Niggers and be easily influenced by them, though still maintaining their physically weak posture, they use their Martial-Arts to help them with fights, most Injuns/Pakis are usually the same, just the Chinese Caucasian/Mediterranean counterpart and most of them immigrate and breed like Mexicans, not to mention Sikh parents being INCREDIBLY lazy, getting their poor kids to do all of their work, the Paki women are considered "attractive" most of which grow mustaches and fart and burp during meals.

[[Image:Muslims Honor Killings 03032014.jpg|thumb|right|A hayseed White Devil's opinion of how attractive a Paki woman is considered DESPITE his standards]]

*'''[[Injun|Native Americunts]]''': Uncivilized, primitive, slow-witted people who have "apparently" been here the WHOLE time, when it was shown in studies that they were immigrants from [[India|Asia]].
{{clear}}
<center>{{fv|americuntsvideos|background:white|font-weight:bold
|<big>'''I'm American'''</big> 
<youtube>HB780oK6F9M</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Teabonics - The Official Americunt Language'''</big></center> 
<youtube>g0rqQ1XM_2A</youtube>
|<center><big>'''What the Americunts Really Want'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4vK2kScsa2Q</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina'''</big></center> 
<youtube>lj3iNxZ8Dww</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Americans are NOT stupid - (with Subtitles)'''</big></center> 
<youtube>fJuNgBkloFE</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Tell it Motherfucker like it is!(a fuckin anti-americunt) </big></center> 
<youtube>jMzIlCHWd7I</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Insurance Company Bureaucrats Are Considered Sacred War Hereos'''</big></center> 
<youtube>LCm2WAjQZsc</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Why Americans are obese'''</big></center> 
<youtube>u4zw99VsoMA</youtube>
|<center><big>'''There are so many bald Americans because this guy [[nigger|stole]] all their hair and glued it to his face'''</big></center> 
<youtube>yG0oBPtyNb0</youtube>}}</center>

==[[Teenagers]]==
America is renowned for their youth, who are horndogs and stuck up asswipes that will rag on anything that doesn't relate to them, ie; [[Jocks|sports athletes]], preparatory school students, and the [[The beautiful people|prom queens]] (who will also be known as a prostitute). If sent to other countries, they will most likely fuck with average civilians, rape the local children and women, and ignite major war, causing massive [[lulz]], due to the fact that Americans always consider nuking [[Japan|countries]] a prime and final solution.

Like their parents, the youth of America are dumb, stupid, illiterate, weak minded, fickle, [[Hipster|trendsters]], and soon to be diagnosed with several [[Mental illness|mental aliments]], like "Alcoholism" and "Substance Abuse". At the ripe age of 6, the typical American kid will go to [[School|school]], being introduced to another kid's cool thing of toy they brought to school, like their older brother's CD of NiggerLispz or Pron, and then will abandon their childish youth, claiming it's "for losers" and will then follow into any lame category of subculture, like "Gamer", "Fucktard", "Jock", "Rich Asswipe", "Emo", or practically anything that MTV will throw out to make money out of. Soon, in high school, major shit ensues, like a [[School Shooting|school shooting]], fucking with the retards, and doing shit that's utterly wrong and then lying, "It's just a joke!" to get out of it. On average, over nine thousand percent of Rich and Beautiful teens usually get laid, and the rest get off STD, Baby and responsibility scott free due the [[Suburbs|Suburbia]] Nanny state laws. Anyone who usually doesn't is considered a [[You|loser]], but that's because that's in High School.

Also, don't be surprised if there's usually some news story about murder being conducted by a teen. It's always been like that. Greater analysts conclude the following will happen to the various groups of fuckheads both mentioned and not mentioned.

=="Americans"==
[[Image:American_citizens.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[Nazi|True American citizens expressing their beliefs]]]]
[[Image:Bush-threat.jpg|thumb|300px|DAMN! Beaten by [[Osama]] again!]]
*[[Canada]]: Part of [[North America]]. Also known as America's hat. Canadians sound like Americans but act like the English. Generally Canadians [[DO NOT WANT|do not like]] Americans, however Americans not named [[W]] or [[Dick Cheney]] and hippies love Canada for its safe haven laws when dodging the draft is needed and its liberal drug laws. Americans will often pretend to be Canadian when leaving America since leaving the gated-community that is the USA can result in severe blunt force trauma, being taken hostage and even death.
*[[Mexico]]: Known most popularly for being America's beard, and technically part of North America; but considered to be South America by all Americans ([[NAFTA|business purposes]] excepted) Mexico once included parts of what is now [[California]], [[Texas]] and other South Western states. It is populated by [[beaner|wannabe Americans]] who will do almost [[list of sex moves|anything]] from cleaning Americans' houses, landscaping Americans' lawns, picking Americans' produce to babysitting Americans' children for a slice of American Pie ([[Shit nobody cares about|and to repopulate their stolen land]]). [[Shit nobody cares about|Instead they get no respect, less than minimum wage and are hunted down like the rabid dogs they are by Immigration and Customs Enforcement]] and Lou Dobbs.
*[[South America]]: [[Irony|Ironically]] there are no Americans in South America. If an American travels to South America he/she is called a '''hostage'''.
*[[Israel]]: The fatherland of true American people. Three hundred millions of [[dumbfuck]]s on the other side of big pond are just a workforce to provide [[Jew gold|help]] to the race of masters.

==[http://imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Devolution] and the Nanny State==
Along with the rampant [[Religion|religious fervor]] currently sweeping the nation, things such as the growing -and increasingly violent- anti-[[abortion]] and [[Homophobia|anti-gay rights]] movements, the general mistrust of and disdain for [[science]] and continued calls to expand the scope of death penalty eligibility suggests that the American species appears to be 'devolving' -in effect [[evolution|evolving]] backwards at an alarming rate. [[Some argue]] that this is being hastened by the [[NORP|general public's]] overall willingness to accept a [[infantilism|'''"nanny state"''']], an ideal of sorts that has been gradually foisted upon them by their [[POS|elected officials]] since President Franklin D. Roosevelt invented the [[hugbox]] as a means to control [[Hobo|the great unwashed masses]] in the 1930s as part of his [[depression|New Deal]].

This also reveals one of the many [[batshit crazy|deep-rooted psychological problems]] inherent in America's collective national psyche since [[rape|taking it in the arse]] is integral for a nanny state to flourish. It can thus be deduced that the majority of Americans have a predilection for [[BDSM|acquiescence]] vis-a-vis [[The Man|their "nanny"]]'s strict governance, a masochism which is starkly evident when one looks at the almost [[asking for it|eager acceptance]] of the gradual erosion and [[pwn]]age of their much vaunted [[ED:TRU|Constitutional]], [[lulz|civil]] and [[human rights]].

Much of this [[YHBT|dog-like 'rolling over']] can bee attributed to what [[old media|scholars]] are fond of calling '''"The Dumbing-Down of America"''' (which should not to be confused with the extensive '''Idiot Proofing''' America went through after [[World War 2]]: Electric Boogaloo) but since that particular bottom of that particular barrel has long since been scraped, [[government|the 'nanny's]] attempts to 'dumb-down' the already dumb is akin to trying [[divide by zero|zero division]]. Rather, the current state of the American mind is more likely to be the result of [[retard|idle minds]] with too much time and money on their hands. After the stigma attached to being a slave/slave master was removed by [[Martin Luther King]]'s freeing of the 'textbook slaves' in the 1960s, the [[NORP|'wage slave']] or [[Mexican|'illegal immigrant']] were born and not only became affordable to anyone with a 'decent' job but they became the [[cool|"little black dress"]] of their day. Without mundane daily tasks such as housekeeping, shopping, driving and raising the kids to worry about, the average American could now stop sweating the small stuff and focus on [[rich and beautiful|living life to the max]].

However, without any challenges, the collective American mind began to stagnate and like a [[cripple]]'s atrophied limbs, today stands useless...a slave to the very people they enslaved to do the thinking for them.

Since losing self-sufficiency and resourcefulness to the [[poor|faceless masses]] (both domestic and [[Call Center|foreign]]) who maintain the status quo the [[NORP|average American]] now goes blithely through life assuming that things such as [[Pr0n|entertainment]], refrigeration, [[television]], [[telephone]]s, and the climate are (God) given or naturally occurring phenomena.

This can be [[IDIFTL|easily demonstrated]] by hiding every day items like remote controls and car keys from Americans or overloading a poorly maintained regional power grid during a heatwave until there are blackouts. When faced with the loss of electricity, Americans will walk around like [[zombie|chickens with their heads cut off ]] until '''someone else''' fixes it since finding solutions to every day problems and implementing them have long since been outsourced to '''other people'''.

==Americunt mind==
[[Image:Nathans_commercial.jpg|thumb|Despite the appearance of a 'protest', this is actually an endorsement for Americunt gluttony]]
Americans take much of every day life for granted. Most Americans believe things such as:
*Beer is self-cooling
*Cash rules everything around me
*Food isn't just nutritional, it's for fun.
*Household appliances are God-given and powered by Jesus.
*Ice cubes are a naturally occurring phenomenon.
*Like water, oil is a natural resource, it's free and unlimited
*The whole world has AC, potable water, and enough hot dogs for eating contests
*Everyone respects me because I have a gun
*Ann Coulter is a credible journalist

==Hobbies==
[[Image:Obesity-rate.jpg|thumb|LOL [[Fat|"Are you going to finish that...?"]]]]
Americans have a variety of hobbies including:
*[[BBQ]]
*Dog Fighting
*[[Eating]]
*Competitive Eating
*Frivolous Lawsuits
*[[Gaming]]
*[[Money|Shopping]]
*[[TV]]
*Getting [[troll]]ed by [[Eurofag]]s on [[b|/b/]] every weekend in the obligatory, ritual [[Eurofag]] vs. [[Americunt]] [[flame war]]s. Then losing whenever [[Eurofag]]s play the "[[China]] owns [[America]]" card.

==Sports==
[[Image:Fat fb player.jpg|thumb|[[Handegg]] "poster boy". Are you fat, talentless, devoid of any skill, or can't think for yourself? Fear not retard, this is the activity for you.]]
Apart [[Global Warming|raping the environment]], [[Internet tough guy|running their mouths]], [[Gaming]], [[Money|Shopping]], [[Television|Channel Surfing]], and [[fat|Competitive Eating]], there's nothing Americans like better than pwning, be it a [[Iraq|country]] (or "contry" in merkin), a [[English|language]] ("langage") or [[sport]]s ("sportz").

[[Soccer]] (pronounced: "football"), is the number one sport in the world in which skill is paramount, and is played by kicking a round ball around a pitch to score goals. Touching the ball with your hands results in a penalty. However, since Americunts are [[fat]] (need a break every five seconds), [[stupid]] (need to be told what to do in every play), [[Newbie|unskilled]] (notoriously bad at using their foot hence can only manage the easier task of using hands) it wasn't tailored for them and so resorted to another British game called '''rugby''' (but without the skill, and in tights) instead. American football AKA '''Gridiron''' is a boring, bizarre, stop start, unskilled, activity that caters for fat non-athletes who can't play sport. Only American [[Gay|"fat fairies in tights"]] play due to cultural obligation having invented it, [[LULZ|no choice]]. If Gridiron didn't suck, it would be played outside the nation it was invented where there is no cultural OBLIGATION...but no one does [[shit|because it blows]]. The only Gridiron league that hasn't collapsed like all the others outside America (the low profile CFL) was culturally imposed by Americunts on those poor Canadians, no one plays in Canada and its overrun with Americunts. A static, stop start snoozefest, if you accidentally stumble upon this crap you will inevitably shout [[Fail|"MOVE FFS"]] every twenty seconds before ending the misery and wisely flicking channel. Its so damn [[boring]] that cheerleaders are required: "Wake up people...yay GO TEAM...who's playing?". Every play is scripted, the fairies in tights get told what to do next and there is no innovation - "[[loser|no one thinks for themselves]]" - J.Cleese, as the coach tells the talentless fairies what to do every thirty seconds.."#77 move left, #45 move right, #32 wipe your ass with your left hand"...[[idiot|there is no thinking involved]]. While using the foot is more difficult and requires superior skill, NFL Gridiron as a bizarre activity devoid of any skillful moments "[[boring|the only creative thing are the beer commercials]]", as this crap sucks donkey balls. It's a kiddies game of bump (that's all ninety percent of these grown up fairies in tights and body armor do), the passer (there's only one...[[LULZ]]) gets multiple attempts as they keep [[loser|failing]]. A bemused Sting (like all of us) on this weirdo Gridiron crap - [[fail|"I don't get it, its like wrestling in crash helmets"]]. In a way its a pity Gridiron has zero interest outside North America, because talentless [[fat|ridiculed fat people]] from other countries who get excluded and left out of playing actual sports, would then have Gridiron to play.

Other Sports Americans Have Pwnt and Changed the Name of Include:
*'''[[Basketball]]''' -from '''Netball''': a game played by [[16-year-old girls|English school girls]]. (Basketball was invented by Dr. James Naismith, a Canadian.) Its played by [[Niggers|overgrown uncoordinated ghetto people]] with the easy as fuck task of placing a ball in an open hoop, as its 60 minutes back and forth of "[[fail|you score, no you score, no you score, no you score...ahhhhhhh fuck this shit]]"
*'''[[Baseball]]''' -from '''Rounders''': a game played by [[4kids|English school girls]]. The British invented baseball for small kids (like hopscotch, it ain't for adults), its played by [[poor]] fat people in [[retard|pajamas]]
*'''Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)''' -from '''Agro''': a game 'played' by rival English football hooligans.

==The Sport Machos==
*Died in a Drunk Driving session.
*Get caught up in a VT and literally die knowing they caused it
*Get raped in prison by Bubba because they like to drink a lot, or [[Rape|liked sex too much]]
*Get shot by the person they used to bully around with
*[[Handegg]] aka Gridiron, with its use of tights, body armor, under eye make up, fanny pack and helmet (and the [[list of sex moves|Quarterback Snap]] where one of the [[gay|"fairies in tights"]] mounts his mans "A" hole and shouts "hut hut" '''code for''': "preparing to enter"), this boring faggotry alien activity (that only sad weirdo [[Americans]] play because of cultural obligation having invented it) is the primary recruiting technique for young new homosexuals.
*Join the [[Army]], fuck some [[Afghanistan|Afghan]]s, [[Arab]]s and various [[Asia]]ns and then die from a Assault Rifle blowjob, either getting caught by the locals or on a raid
*Work in a shitty job because of their ability to take more steroids than the average person and therefore being good in sports and nothing else.

==Prepatory School Fags==
*Continued to breastfeed off of Mummy and Duddy, and died [[An Hero|an hero]] because they couldn't afford anymore "Mall Rat Training Sessions".
*Died [[an hero]] while at his post-college institution, because they couldn't get to party
*Died in a drunk driving session.
*Died in a hazing "accident"
*Fucked a chick while in a [[College|frat]], and is now being [[Rape|fucked]] with.
*Now a person who owes money to the local Mafia, and will not be seen until [[Next Thursday]], in a trunk, crushed car, or in the latest trend, cement [[shoes]].
*Now Bubba's latest girlfriend because of his lulz worthy attempt to kill his parents for insurance money and then move off to Amsterdam to open up a pot shop.

==Inventions==
*<s>[[Slavery]]</s> Read your history books. The [[Islam|Arabs]] start that chain.
*<s>[[Genocide]]</s> There were people in Asia making the first white man to kill a Native American look like an amateur because they had already been doing it for thousands of years in places like [[China]] The word [[Genocide]] is sn American invention and was coined by [[Jew|Raphael Lemkin]] {{Jew}}
*[[Burger King]]
*[[Fat|Obesity]]
*[[Ebonics]]
*<s>[[Electricity]]</s> Wrong. The first practical system for generating electricity, the Voltaic Pile, was invented in [[Italy]]
*[[Electricity|<s>The Lightbulb</s>]] Actually invented by British scientist Warren de la Rue. Since it used a Platinum filament it wasn't cost effective. Edison merely improved upon the design.
*[[Electricity|The AC Power Generator]] Actually an American invention. Created by Mad Scientist great [[Nikola Tesla]]
*The Electric Guitar (to make their stupidity be heard halfway through the city)
*[[Comic book fans|<s>Comic Books</s>]] Actually the first graphic novel was published in England.
*[[Video games]] What a surprise. Another thing that is responsablefor making kids fat is an American invention
*<s>[[Scientology]]</s> Actually ripped off in part from ideas by English [[Satanist]] Aleister Crowley
*[[TonyTigerGate|Peanut Butter]] Another fattening food. What a surprise.
*Friendly fire (shooting your own allies in the back out of your own stupidity)
*Fragging (blowing up your own officers out of ''their'' own stupidity)
*Grandma porn
*[[McDonald's]]
* 97% of the worlds retards (see: ''[[wigger]]'' and ''[[wapanese]]'')
*The global financial crisis
*The Internet, via a series of Tubes (see: ''[[Al Gore]]'')
*[[Global Warming]]
*[[Hipster|Science Du Jour]]
*?
*??
*???
*????
*?????
*??????

==War==
[[Image:Will work for armor.jpg|thumb|You should have been a gay [[handegg]] player then.]]
[[Image:OMGbags.jpg|thumb|[[Milk Bags|This is a fact.]]]]
[[Some argue]] that American soldiers are as [[Retard|thick as two short planks]], while others would say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], making them even more retarded. The U.S. and A are decidedly the only nation in the world that always fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]]. However Americunts are so stupid they'll fight this under the illusion of something [[they]] call '[[freedom]]'. This idea of 'freedom' is in fact a dirty lie spread by the Jews, some argue to get Israel, more people say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], therefore making Americunts fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]] of jews and even more retarded than [[you]].
What everyone can agree on however, is that if you joined the US [[Army]], [[Military#Navy|Navy]], [[Military#Marines|Marines]] or [[Military#Air Force|Air Force]] after the invasion of [[Iraq]] you're either a [[school|high school]] drop-out with no future, a [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/07/28/eveningnews/main3107316.shtml?source=mostpop_story gang member], a [[criminal]] and/or a fucking moron and are quite deserving of everything you're whining about ([http://freeinternetpress.com/story.php?sid=13293 currently, not having Internets at the front lines]).

Trained entirely on [[video games]] like [[Grand Theft Auto]] within the sterile bubble that is America, these youngsters have a keen sense of reality, other [[culture]]s and fair-play however, Most Americans team with Jews to plot numerous attacks on their [[9/11|own buildings]]. This is [[Lie|untrue]] and they will [[argue]] that the [[Muslim]]s [[I did it for the lulz|did it]]

Americunts will also insist that the United States Air Force is without question the best in the world, even though incidents like those shown in the video below happen at least twice a second. This is probably because Americunts who join the USAF desperately aspire to be [[Tom Cruise]] in '''Top Gun'''. Even though Top Gun is about the Navy.
 
{| align="center" style="padding:5px;"
|<center><big>'''Friendly Fire Cockpit Video Iraq 2003'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4I6-2NJhnf4</youtube>
|}
 
Americans are excited about their soldiers and like to cover their cars with [[gay]] yellow ribbon stickers proclaiming this. Americans however, do not like paying higher taxes for soldiers' weapons, pay, armour, tools, health care, and education. Five years from now our streets will be awash with IED style brain damaged vets with PTSD and maimed bodies. The first thing they will do is kill and eat all of our Vietnam vets. Then they will come for the Jews]

{{cs|Americunts|Americunts in England (Europe) - A tourist's guide|
England and the Americunt have a long standing, gay relationship. England was bummed by a bush over 9,000 times. Many Americunts visit England, as many of our children do, to return to the Eden of developed life on Earth.

In the Adam and the Ants track 'Kings of the Frontier', Adam sings "I feel beneath the white, there is a redskin suffering, from centuries of taming". This is of coarse incorrect with regards to Americunts, who all have Brits inside their inner an-hus sanktomb holes, eating away at them like an itchy prostate cancer they can't scratch. Evidenced by how so many Americunts have some obscure fraction of someone living in the UK or Ireland within their family history, and won't shut up about it. No one in Europe is proud of being related to the Americunt and no one mentions it if they are.

Americunts unable to leave Amma-reeka, scared that they'll be raped t' fuck by everyone in Europe upon arrival, produce overblown stories regarding the poor industrial, economic or military power of Europe and the superiority of the US, so as to convince themselves they are correct to remain isolated and not visit a single other country or experience one other vista on existence within their lifespan, dripping away. This may extend to criticizing dental reg-eye-mays, how sexually appealing the girls are or how straight the boys are in England, whilst sporting their curiosly circumcised peni design to get on good with the boys in the soapy shower rooms of their homeland. And whilst simultaneously wanting to fuck the living shit out of the super hotties in Europe, untainted by Mc Donalds induced obesity and cosmetics or surgery as they are.

Americunts are INTENSELY paranoid of being in Europe, as they have all seen Hostel and believe it's a documentary. This seemingly humorous statement is FACT. The author has direct, personal experience of Americunts in England.

"Don't take that, that's how they get you!" he heard from an Americunt in reponse to someone handing out flyers for a bar. This may be why the intuitive sense of an Americunt is to bomb the fuck out of everything outside the US, regardless of the mondo red crosses painted all over it and guys running around in bright white uniforms covered in red crosses.

Americunts typically can't point to England on a map, and do not realize that Ireland, Scotland and Wales are not England. Or that some of these regions have a deep hatred of being referred to as England. Americunts do not realize that the US supplied the IRA (from Ireland) with weapons, and that the IRA are effectively the Taliban of the UK. They've set off 2000lb bombs around London and seriously fucked shit up. They are also lying little paddy fuckwits that continually change their minds regarding ceasefires. Even the Irish are getting pissed off with them.

Americunts do not realize that a gigantic number of places in the US are actually named after places in the UK. Or that Central Park is a copy of the first public park, Central Park in Birkenhead, UK (DANGER, AMERICUNT! EXTREME CHAV CONTAMINATION ZONE!).

It is a well known fact that every Americunt secretly wishes to live in England on an estate, shotgunning poor people from their balcony whilst sipping tea (putting milk in fruit teas, making it split, not realizing that is not 'tea') and eating strawberries; as per their view of everyday life in England. Modonna herself has begun living this capitalistic, monarchy derived delusion in the UK. This does not help [[British]] / Americunt relations. We don't want her nasty chicken ass polluting England. Please, take her back.

Americunts visit York and believe it to be an accurate depiction of the [[British]]; when it is in fact an 'artificial museum', similar to Florida, but based on ye olde reality. This belief can lead to problems when visiting more realistic [[chav]] infected zones within the UK, which are both numerous and include London and York, the two tourist centres of the UK. York in particular has a strong hatred of the outsider and the BNP (the UK equilivant of the KKK, but targeted towards anything with a foreign accent or tan (themz typez)), has a significant number of supporters in this area. It can be quite a remarkable change in attitude given that many Americunts will be traveling to York from London, where tolerance of the foreigner is high at the latter. Americunts will wear T-shirts or hats featuring something to do with London printed on them and then travel to the north. This is not a good idea. Only the Japanese may not only look cool but also get away with this.

'Those types' of ne'er do wells are easy to spot in the US. They are in biker gangs or fucked off their tits on meth. They are also easy to spot in the UK, yet few Americunts appear willing to spend five minutes familiarizing themselves with the [[chav]] articles and similar, such that they may learn to identify potential risk factors upon visiting. Instead choosing to wear $2000 cameras around their necks in rough estates, assuming the blistered tarmac, broken glass and number plates scattered around them are quaint.

Americunts assume that because the UK has gun control, they are safe to [[asking for it| ask for it]]. In reality, if the UK released it's gun control laws, it would bring about Chavageddon, the new era of darkness. (Sort of like America, only the gang-bangers don't make any real money)

The [[British]] is essentially backwards to the US. Replace north with south. Unless an Americunt is genuinely a gangster and has genuinely grown up in a shitty environment thinking throwing up drugs is the way of things, it must take care of it's mouth and possessions around the north; particularly if it has a tan or strong accent.

The [[British]] has a serious problem with alcohol. The Americunt is considered a faggot if it is sick after ten pints of 9% larger in under an hour. Teens routinely drink 3l of 9% cider. As such, it is common to see mounted police and riot vans around on Friday and Saturday nights. Americunts will engage in nay saying about the [[British]] online, but engaging in this when confronted by a [[chav]] may result in an assault or mugging. [[Chavs]] typically operate in worryingly large gangs, unable to act alone, and will carry knives. Tens of them will immediately decloak and materialize from the concrete surroundings upon identifying a victim or sensing any foreign vulnerability, or just for the fun of scaring the Americunt. They will target Americunts lecturing on dental hygiene that have also not brushed their cosmetically bleached teeth in the last month. Americunts are commonly obese and stink, rendering them detectable from a large distance by the [[chav]]. Get a wash.

Due to their inability to be honest about their feelings without tranquilizing quantities of alcohol within them and the Americunt's unfamiliarity with this level of religious intoxication, they will assume a [[British]] is being honest when not drunk. Fail.

The [[British]] almost always use sarcasm as a sense of humor. The Americunt can reverse what they're actually hearing to define the truth.

The Americunt MUST attempt to lower the volume of it's universally fucking annoying voice in public areas and remove 'bum-bags' or 'fanny packs'. Do not refer to you ass as your fanny. Do not engage in arguments about wars or gun control around areas selling alcohol or up north. Do not discuss the imperial system of measurement around drunk or sober [[British]]. We invented it. It's shit. And the Americunt is shit for thinking it's better than the, French, metric system. DO engage in imperial if talking to a London based street merchant or someone over the age of 60.

Similar rules apply when visiting the rest of Europe; e.g. in hotter countries around Europe (like Italy), replace [[chavs]] with gypsies. They will have a cup and ask you for change. Put your hands on your money and walk away. There's a good chance the Americunt is about the be pick pocketed. The Americunt is uber wise to try and broaden it's horizons, but must not assume Europe is Disney Land. It is perfectly safe, but please dont [[asking for it|ask for it]] from our scummers.|0}}

==Things Americans Hate==

# World peace and tranquility.
# Taking their [[Gun control|guns away]].
# Maps.
# [[European]] football.
# The Native Americans.
# Taking their [[McDonald's|burgers]] away.
# Health and fitness.
# Books and reading.
# [[Niggers]].
# Traveling.
# Getting an education.
# Passports.
# [[Michael Moore]].
# Socialism.
# Communism.
# [[Muslims]].
# Reminding them they didn't "win" the [[World War II|Second World War]] single-handedly and that [[Truth|the Allies would have defeated Germany without their help]].
# Homosexuals.
# The [[British]].
# Quality beer.
# Gyms.
# The Middle East (''with the exception of [[Israel]], obviously'').
# Gas prices.
# The [[Canadians]].
# Eating healthy foods.
# Exercising.
# Edward Snowden.
# Libraries.
# The [[Russians]].
# Cutting the financial funds for their military.
# The [[Japanese]].
# Not sticking their noses in other countries' affairs.
# Diets.
# Schooling.
# The [[Germans]].
# Cuba.
# America.
# Respecting other cultures and countries' beliefs.
# [[Pedobear]].
# Watching sex in movies.
# [[You]].

==Myths and Truths==
[[Image:Fallingdown.jpg|thumb|An average American on his way to the office, minus the fat]]
*All own guns and use them for shooting [[nigra]]s and [[queer]]s. (Wrong. They are for pwning Bambi's mom and dad.)
*Americans are so stupid that if you bring up '''The Battle Of Devolution''' in a history class that they'll think you're refrencing 1970's New Wave, electronic music.
*Are so stupid that they'll declare war on smoking tobacco but somehow can find ways to rationalize smoking [[weed]], vaping or even chewing tobacco.
*America is the center of the world. When your for shit European or third world country can influence the world by how strong its currency is doing then you can call this simple American Nationalism and arrogance.
*Are alleged to smell like cheese burgers and arrogance.
*Americans claim that their military is Akin to G.I. Joe and fighting for their freedom. (Wrong. Their military is for satisfying their Jew government's conquest. Their government's been taking away their freedoms as more and more soldiers are sent to be wormfood.)
*Americans look like how they are portrayed in [[Hollywood]]. (Wrong. 99.9% of Americans are fat ugly cunts who fail at life, the rest are also fat and ugly but have teh moneys for plastic surgery.)
*Always wear plaid on vacation in [[Europe]]. (So please keep them.)
*Visit Europe and go to a High Class restaurant in Paris wearing sweats. [[Muslim|Muslims]], the next time you riot we'll look the other way if you take a couple of these out.
*Are all [[fat]] and greedy. (Only about 110% are fat and greedy.)
*Most can't do one pull-up.
*Are so obsessed with their race because of their mud origins of fucking [[nigger]]s, Indians, [[Mexican]]s and the [[China|Chinese]] that they'll spend $500 for a gene test to discover their origins.
*Invented Father's Day just to [[troll]] the niggers.
*Are evil and will eventually [[pwn|destroy]] the world. (Correct. Research the predicted effects of nuclear weapons from before they tested the first one.)
*Are [[Glenn Beck|loud and vulgar]]. (Particularly the 13 year olds.)
*Are obsessed with [[attention whore|dentistry and cosmetic surgery]]. (See also: [[attention whore|The War on Cavities]])
*Are so fucking lazy that they fight over who should take the trash out [[Fat|due to the gargantuan amount they eat]].
*Are the leading cause of [[Global Warming]]. (Though we all know this is really the fault of the jews)
*Are the sad result of what happens if you mix all european races together and add some niggas to make it more colourful
*Are [[retard|uneducated]] and easily fooled -more than once (see: [[W]]).
*Believe that [[South Africa]] is the only place left with [[Apartheid]] when they fail to look on their own backyard.
*Brought the world such wonderful mordern blessings like [[crack]], [[Meatspin.com|tranny porn]] a.k.a [[Transgender|Madonna]] and [[Homosexuality|The Village People]].
*Claim to hate their country as much as everyone else to gain acceptance from the rest of the world (See also: [[Fail]])
*Everytime you think they can't get any bigger asshole for president they'll prove you wrong. (Nixon -> Reagan -> [[W]] -> [[Barack Obama]])
*Fail at war and love using faggity, poor kids as bait. (see: [[Korea]], [[Vietnam]], [[Cuba]], [[Afghanistan]], [[Iraq]], [[Canada]]). (See also: [[Gay|The war on homosexuality]], the [[War on drugs]]) but the Bay of Pigs was a bunch of Cuban refugees. (see ''[[fucktard]]'')
*Assume everything [[Spanish]] is brown and Mexican.
*Assume everything [[Mexican]] is brown and speaks Spanish.
*Assume everything [[Middle Eastern|brown]] is Mexican and speaks Spanish.
*Know of the Second World War but are [[Spellcheck|surpised]] if you tell them there also was a [[World War I|first one]] too. Honest
*Upon learning of their involvement in WWI they will immediately assume America won it.
*Love [[Jews]]. (This relationship has been strained by the Jewish generated GFC because of the Jewish conspiracy making normal Americunts believe it's all the arabs fault)
*Ran out of the letters, ''''u'''' and ''''s'''' in the 18th century and will soon deplete the world's supply of ''''z''''s.
*[[Ruin]] everything they touch. (Just look at the Internet, and Liverpool Football Club)
*Will soon be renamed "The Chinese". Yay!!!1one!!
*Will sue anything that moves.
*Have the highest population of Manchildren in the world because parents are afraid to kick their kid's ass.
*Genuinely hate freedom, despite living in the self-proclaimed "Freest Country in the World".
*Wish they had a king or royals but will never have more than the desposed [[Hawaii]]an royal family and the crown jewels from Burger King.
*Are highly illiterate. (Much of this article demonstrates that fact.)
*America is one vast, urban slum. (Wrong: America is one vast, ''rural'' slum.)

==Trolling Americunts==
Trolling an Americunt is as easy as telling them the truth and things that actually make sense, then, watching them get mad.

*Ask them why they can't use proper English.
*Remind them how far behind their education system is compared to other nations.
*Tell them they are the fattest country in the world.
*Make fun of their shitty healthcare system.
*Explain to them that [[No shit|they ''aren't'' the best country in the world]].
*Tell them how much their beer and chocolate sucks compared to Europe's.
*Remind them they didn't invent apple pie.
*Say something negative about the United States military.
*And while you're at it, talk about their invasions in Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq and how many innocent civilians their soldiers have killed.
*Call them a "yank" to their face and start laughing.
*Harass and piss them off on X-Box Live.
*Laugh and make jokes about [[9/11]].
*Ask them if they own a passport and if they travel.
*Point out to them that they wouldn't have won the American Revolution without the help from [[France]] and other countries.
*Burn or piss on American flags.
*Tell them that [[Michael Moore]] is an honorable, dedicated American citizen.
*Fuck their ugly-ass women.
*Say something nice about [[Canadians]] and how much more civil they are.
*Say that USA is made from everything than Europe shits and puke.
*Tell them that the Russian military is more badass and can nuke them easily.
*Bring up their long and shameful history of slavery and genocide.
*Throw burgers at their faces.
*Talk about how [[Australia]] is so much better than the USA.
*Tell them that taxation is evil (It's like saying [[Muhammad]]'s a pig-fucker in [[Iran]])
*Tell them how much their ''football'' sucks.
*Just say "Fuck America!" or "America sucks!" It makes them mad which will generate great lulz.
*Tell them that the United States is NOT the entire fucking continent.
*Say that the [[9/11]] is the best thing that happened to mankind!
*Tell them you're a terrorist.
*Remind them when they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
*Say that God doesn't exist.
*Remind them how small their penises are.
*Tell them that America is not a free country. It'll be even better if you provide the proof, and there is plenty of it.
*Remind them how little they contributed to World War 1 and 2.
*Remind them of The Bay of Pigs and The Alamo.
*Ironically the American populace have total love and admiration for the British Welfare Princess Kate Middleton, more so than Jesus. Start calling her the "Welfare Princess".
*Disable the NSA spying device in your charter jet's bathroom so they can't see if your president is making out with Edward Snowden on the trip home to Bolivia.

==Why Americans Suck==

[[File:Antiusa.png|left]]

* They're [[fat]].
* They're a bunch of gun-slinging, bloodthirsty warmongers.
* In the 1940s they did a great sword hunt in Japan destroying these weapons so that a cult wouldn't build up around the ideas of Bushido that a Samurai is some kind of bullet dodging demon that can cut tanks in half with a single slice of their sword that would stall the rebuilding and modernisation of Japan with revolutions and uprisings. Then come 40 years later their grandchildren worship the Japanese for these same cult ideas of a Samurai being some kind of immortal god that can catch bullets in their hands because of [[Animu]].
* They're stupid as shit.
* Most of them can't find [[England]] on a fuckin' map or even their own fucking state.
* They can't even find [[Italy]] even when you first point to the Mediterranean Sea and say it's bordered by it and looks like a boot.
* They're rude and loud as fuck.
* Their nation was founded on slavery, racism and genocide.
* They continue to butcher, rape and bastardize the English language (and speaking of which that's ''bastardise,'' you dumb cunt!).
* Most can't even name all 5 great lakes (HOMES) or know that Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake that doesn't border [[Canada]]
* Most can't even name the river that divides the U.S. into East and West
* Will actually argue with you that all rivers flow south because of [[Gravity]]
* They think they're [[Bullshit|the best people on the fucking planet]].
* Their healthcare system sucks.
* They bow down to the [[Jews|J00z]].
* They're obsessed with guns.
* Their cops are trigger-happy, racist motherfuckers.
* Most of them are ugly, obese hogs.
* They invaded [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan]] and killed many innocent civilians for the oil and the lulz. The lulz we can respect.
* They can only speak one language as they're too unintelligent and lazy to learn to speak it right or be bothered to learn others.
* They created [[McDonald's]].
* They send their soldiers to go out killing people in the Middle East, and then worship and hail them as honorable heroes.
* They have no unique or extraordinary culture; the majority of so-called "American culture" is ripped off from other cultures in other countries and the original culture and cultural inovations they do have are Southern, Black creations like Jazz and the Blues and are often ignored until someone like Elvis or Eric Clapton comes along and cleans it up enough for mainstream, white audiences.
* They created [[W]] and voted for him twice.
* They created [[Obama]] and voted for him, also twice.
* They eat too much.
* They made [[Twilight]].
* They invented rap music.
* They let the Chinese produce their shit.
* Their country is too fucking big to travel through as it takes hundreds of miles just to drive from state-to-state. Make sure you don't pass out from exhaustion and boredom at the wheel while you're driving endlessly on the highways!
* They're the birthplace of [[WalMart]].
* Their food is greasy, fattening and gross.
* And because of all these reasons, not enough of them got pwnt on [[9/11]].
* Their government is corrupt and run by fucked up politicians.
* They steal your oil.
* They celebrate Thanksgiving even though they massacred the Natives, people who've inhabited the country for [[Over 9000]] years.
* Most of their music is crap.
* They produced Kim Kardashian.
* Two words, Bruce Jenner
* They will proudly claim that no foreign power has ever invaded the U.S. conviently forgetting about how England Pwned the White House in 1812
* Most of them don't know they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
* They're always sucking [[Israel]]'s <s>giant</s> small cock.
* They're always licking England's royal family's ass like they have any influence in America.
* They actually think [[BBC]] news is completely objective and has no bias.
* They make shitty, overdone movies full of propaganda. Need proof, how come a holocaust movie almost always wins an oscar.
* They joined [[World War II]] too late.
* They joined [[World War I]] way too late.
* Talking about [[World War I]], they bought weapons from the [[France|French]]. The fucking FRENCH
* Since we brought up the [[gun|Chauchat]], that mistake called the M16 in the 60s trying to replace the much superior M14
* They are so lazy about supporting their arts that the majority of who they consider their greatest writers like Ernest Hemmingway and Gertrude Stein got their starts in Europe.
* They speak in the most boring, bland and uninteresting accents ever known to man.
* They have a long, shameful history of treating [[Niggers|brown people]] like shit.
* They drug their kids up with [[Ritalin]] but they're still fat as hell because parents are selling their prescriptions to their trailorpark neighbours.
* They'd rather worry about the poor in foreign country shit holes than help people in the Appalachians
* They start meaningless, bullshit wars in the Middle East for profit, oil and lulz.
* They share the border with [[Canada]] (''and God knows [[Fact|that's bad enough!]]''').
* They also share the border with [[Mexico]] (''AND OMFGZ THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!'').
* Their beer is shit even though they claim they were created by [[Germany|German]] immigrants.
* The majority of them are religious freaks.
* And speaking of religious freaks, they produced the [[Westboro Baptist Church]].
* They like the [[French]] even though the French, in return, hate their guts and don't give a shit about them.
* They allow filthy, smelly illegal beaners from Mexico invade their country.
* Most of them are descendants from Germans (''aka'' '''[[Nazi|NAZIS]]''').

==Gallery==
{{cg||AmericuntsGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Americangenetics.jpg
Image:18 Times.jpg
File:Americunts Racialism.jpg
Image:Bin Ladin Hunt.jpg
Image:Morans.jpg
File:America Jewish Control 1980s styel.jpg
File:Fatblob.jpg
Image:Fox_News_Grin.jpg|Typical smarmy American
Image:Gore_Turd.gif|A typical American, talking shit
Image:Euro_v_USA_Thongs.jpg|Eurofags win again
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Anette-Paris the difference between.jpg|And again
Image:Columbus_Hay_Guys.jpg
Image:Soccerfag.jpg|Newborn Americunt.
Image:Its_The_Attitude_Stupid.gif|Typical Americunt listening to his [[Ipod]]
Image:American sonicfag.jpg|You can't get much worse than an American sonicfag
Image:Fat_American_whale_with_mayo.jpg| Typical [[fat]] American [[woman]] enjoying a light snack.
File:Burgers.jpg
Image:Muh_freedoms.jpg
Image:Pizza_-_American_Pastime.jpg|America's Favorite Pastime: Gorging Themselves Stupid
Image:Land of the free.gif
File:New Face Of America.jpg
File:Burger Assault.jpg
File:Americuntwalker.jpg
File:America Hypocrite Comic POL.png
Image:American bastard.jpg
File:Smashtheusa.jpg
File:Jewish American.jpg
File:Americunt Average 2017.png
File:Americunt Come And Take It.png
File:Americunt Pepsiman.png
File:Americunt Ugly.png
File:Murka is Wite.png
File:Americunt POL Mongrol.jpg
File:Fatyank.jpg
File:Sexyburgergirls.png
File:EUvsUS.jpg
Image:Triplets with american flag.jpg|American [[tits]]
File:DELET this.jpg|Typical piece of shit capitalist pig americunt's reaction to this page
Image:CarissaHads.jpg|In Soviet America, [http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/female-poses-as-male-789432 Girl on Internet] Rapes YOU!
Image:American artwork.jpg|An American self-sculpture in a foreign museum.
File:Burgersalute.gif
File:USmemesucks.jpg
Image:America, Fuck Yeah!.jpg|America? Fuck Yeah!
Image:American Video Games.jpg|Over [[Obesity|400 pounds of fat and lard!]]Evolution - American Evolution.jpg
File:BURGERBOMBING.jpg|Americans on holiday.
File:Americans In Their Natural Habitat.jpg
File:Sweatyfatpiecefoshit.jpg
Image:Murkan schools.png|[[No|Kids in American Schools are smart, aren't they?]]
File:Bombsforhitler.jpg
File:Americanshoppingexperience.jpg
File:Obamafaggot644.jpg|Modern leadership values
Image:Banditkeith.jpg|[[fact|All Americans are required to wear flags on their heads]] by LittleKuriboh. Anyone who breaks this law will spend the rest of their life watching {{ytlink|ZAPHWKZLelg|his Zoo Videos}}.
File:Burgerfaggotdude.png
Image:America_-_Hands_Free_Whopper_Holder.png
File:Staresinamerican.jpg
File:Happylittletbombs.jpg
File:Notfatjezmurkan.jpg
File:A1mericadotexe.jpg
File:Atypicalamerican.jpg|A typical American
File:Patriotard.gif
File:Fuckoffcommiefaggots.jpg
File:BURGER.jpg
File:REALamerican.jpg
File:Americanflag.jpg
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Rascal_Racers.jpg|You win the PRIZE, America!
File:Jesseosbornegun.jpg
File:News.png
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Waddle_Proud.jpg|Waddle proud!
Image:America_-_Patriotic_Eagle_Cosplay.jpg
Image:The president.jpg
File:Americadotexe.jpg
Image:America_-_American_Children.jpg|FUCK YEAH! :D
File:Burgerjew.jpg
File:Throneofusa.jpg
File:Googleamericans.jpg
File:Burgercomic.png
File:EssenseOfAmerica.jpg
File:Americanactivities.jpg
File:Gayptianmurka.jpg
Image:Amerimutt.jpg|This is what is behind the computer screen when you are called nonwhite.
</gallery>}}
{{clear}}

==See Also==
* [[America is Racist]]
* [[Anti-Americanism]]
* [[Asinine American]]
* [[Insane]]
* [[Jim Traficant]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]]
* [[Native Americans]]
* [[Pindos]]
* [[The Jewnited States of Americunts]]
* [[Why do you hate America?]]

==External Links==
* [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/incl/bbcpoll.pdf Why do they hate Americans?]
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Americans circa 2007]
* [http://www.americaisdoomed.com/ America is Doomed]
* [http://www.americanhypocrites.org/ This article/site perfectly illustrates why America is the VERY DEFINITION of hypocrisy!]

{{unitedstates}}

{{Timeline|Featured article September 4, [[2007]]|[[Burning Man]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Anti-ED-Club]]}}

[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Americunts

2025-01-07T02:27:25Z

Juiceoverflow:

[[Image:For God and Country.jpg|300px|right]]
[[File:Americans.png|thumb|right|300px|Americans prepare to mate]]
'''Americunts''', (also known as '''Americans''', when singular '''[[Impossible|A-merry-cunt]]''') are the fattest breed of animals on [[Earth]]. Americans frequently visit [[jailbaitgallery.com]] and are made from [[Statistics|80% fat, 20% propaganda, and 100% FAIL]]. Their women are epicly [[ugly]] and their men have tiny penises (Ranking lower on average than most people except Indians and other gooks). Americans are those who call [[USA|'''The United States of America''']] (pronounced "Murka") home. A veritable [[jenkem|melting pot]] of races, creeds and [[England|colours]], this sub-human offshoot of humanity has been rendered practically [[Terri Schiavo|brain-dead]] by being force-fed vast quantities of shitty materialistic [[crap|garbage]] and relentlessly beaten about the head with the [[Old Media|Stupid Stick]]. The whole game was rigged from the start to make americunts the dumbest most gullible fucktards in World History.

The world's opinion of Americans is that they are [http://www.voanews.com/english/2007-08-27-voa60.cfm morbidly obese], arrogant bullies who, being [[liberal]] [[white trash|hillbillies]] with a severe case of the stupid, act like they are [[Ferrari Guy|God's gift to the planet Earth.]] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDVg9uGtzJ4 This is how they greet each other] Meanwhile, the rest of the world [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/about/show_anti-americans.html hates America] with unfathomable intensity, which Americans have convinced themselves is [[Nice try|'jealousy.']]

It is often asked of Americans and non-Americans alike, "[[Why do you hate America?]]" and, although there are [[over nine thousand]] answers to this question, the main reason is that the only thing that stands between the [[Arab]] nations of the [[Middle East]] pushing [[Israel]] into the ocean (exactly like those [[nazi|genocidal, anti-semitic, land-theiving white people from europe]] pretending to be middle-eastern deserve) is the U.S. [[government]] and the American Public's [[BFF|undying support]] for the [[Jews]]. The Jews control were personally responsible for orchestrating the terrorist attacks on the [[9/11|world trade center]], in conjunction with the [[FBI]], [[DHS]], [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[W]].

Even the <s>[[nigger]]</s> <s>[[The_Donald|grifter]]</s> <s>[[Joe_Biden|pedo]]</s> [[The_Donald|grifter]] who runs America loves the Jews and supports the state of Israel, believing that Israel's existence is key to setting the stage for [[The Rapture]]. However, all Americans can identify with a nation built on faggotry, stolen land and the [[Pwn|subjugation]] of its [[Native Americans|savage Injun natives]].

Most importantly, it is a well-known fact that the IQ range of the general, ordinary American is [[retard|70 or lower]]; most folk with respectable levels of intelligence often flee to superior lands like yurop and get a STEM education there for free, instead of being subjugated to [[Over 9000]] trillion dollars of student loan debts from an American [[College]].

==The American People==
{{quote|The 100% American is 99% idiot.|George Bernard Shaw|actual quote}}

{{quote|hey fuck face, leave everybody alone. [[Typical|education don't matter worth a shit to me. i left school when i was seven]] and [[Lie|i make 5,000 bucks a month because i work hard.]] pussies like you don't know what hard work is. you can take yer precious education and shove it up yer ass and set fire too it. hard work and god is what makes the world go round, not education, and science, and politicians and goddamn sand niggers like you. click the X button at the corner of your screen for gods sake|JaredChastain1|Taken from a johnny rebel video on jewtube, and a perfect example of the typical NASCAR watching retard americunt}}

[[File:Genericamerican.jpg|thumb|right|What americans look like, according to [[Japan]]]]
[[File:Ddtmom.JPG|thumb|right|[[Truth|What they look like in reality]]]]
Poll after poll has shown that [[everyone|the majority]] of Americans are [[Prove me wrong|illiterate morons]], as well as homicidal mouth-breathers with mommy-issues. The polls have revealed such [[lulz|gems]] as ([http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/05/0502_060502_geography_2.html amongst other things]) the fact that over 70% of Americans either don't believe in [[evolution]] at all or believe that evolution is part of [[God]]'s [[1337]] plan. More 'Murkins believe in angels than evolution and don't know where the fuck their own country is, and will constantly ask you why you do not think, act or believe the way they do. Polls also show that most American adults can't name the three branches of their government, are unaware of how many Senators their state has (much less name him/her/them) - as well as not knowing what the [[CIA|FDA]] is or does [http://www.townhall.com/columnists/JonahGoldberg/2007/08/01/too_uninformed_to_vote].

Recent polls revealed that every one in five Americans could not locate the United States [[facepalm|when shown a map]]. The other 4/5 apparently possess a [[map]], an atlas and/or [[LOL WUT|a clue]], but could not spell '''cat''' if you spotted them a '''c''' and a '''t'''. [[The Chaser]] has also demonstrated that most Americans cannot name a country beginning with the letter "U," though this is not significant, as the average American cannot name any country whose name is composed of more than three letters.

Americans are a social group of obnoxious [[white]] fucks who can be described as arrogant, crude, defensive, dumb, [[fat]], [[gun]] crazy, incredibly [[gullible]], [[ignorant]] (no awareness so ain't inhibited to behave like a [[fucktard]]), inbred, homicide junkies, lawsuit junkies, plastic surgery junkies, therapy junkies, lazy, loud, nasal accented, <s>blonde</s> châtain, stupid, terrified, uncivilized, uneducated wackos..."Can't solve personal issues without gun, [[lawyer]] or [[A frank discussion of mental illness|therapist]]" such [[stereotype]]s means Americunts merits their status as the most ridiculed weirdos on Earth.

The main reason they are so fat is that they are too stupid to chew their food, tearing off whole chunks of unhealthy processed meat and swallowing it whole.

== Americunts And Geneology ==

{{Quote|I don't see much future for the Americans ... it's a decayed country. And they have their racial problem, and the problem of social inequalities ... my feelings against Americanism are feelings of hatred and deep repugnance ... everything about the behaviour of American society reveals that it's half Judaised, and the other half negrified. How can one expect a State like that to hold together?|Adolph Hitler}}

Probably, the biggest problem with Americunts is this Eugenics hold-over from the 1920s and believing that origin means something special. 
Many of the Editors here at [[Awesome|ED]] are multi-national and are aware that such obsessions with genetics and origins don't exist in [[Europe]]. 
It's like one ED Editor said, "Do you know what a child who has two [[Russia|Russian]] immigrant parents calls himself in [[France]]? FRENCH! Not Russian-French but French." 
For some reason [[retard|Americunts]] find it G-D awful important to know their ethnicity down to a single percent like some natural ability for language or mathmatics comes with it and this is why DNA companies are making money hand over fist telling stupid Americunts their genetic origin for [[money|$1,000 a pop]] because their [[Nazi|secret racial pride]] needs to be reassured that they are all white. 
So long as a favored position can be earned through proof of a favored ethnicity, say Native American, in job applications, scholorships, loans and promotions Americunts will never break from this obsession and always be a hotbed for racially charged wars. 

The real joke here is not how these [[retard|Americunts]] call themselves [[Germany|German]], [[England|English]] or [[Greece|Greek]] but when they go to these countries and they're called stupid, Americunt fuckwits that think genetics equals a learned cultural experience because they actually believe they'll automatically fit in. 

== American Heritage ==
Europeans often find Americans repulsive, even just looking at them. There is a reason why. The melting pot of white American identity has been formed by the rejects of Europe. Peoples so subhuman they could only be accepting in a nation of foreigners. Here are a small selection of these races.

*'''[[English]]'''
English are bastards and subhumans disconnected from any wider civilization. The ones which left to America were at the lower end of this gene pool, radical Protestants who despised tradition, authority and god. These fuckjobs left to the US in their droves to have a new country to implement their idiocy and inspired the American Revolution, fuelled by their atheistic enlightenment ideas.

*'''Scots-Irish'''
Scots-Irish is a misleading name for this exiled tribe, being neither fully Scottish, Irish or human. They were banished from Scotland and England for being such worthless subhumans and sent to Ireland, where they were again banished and continued to America, the only place accepting of such a vile race. There they were known as "white barbarians" and their savagery became quite useful in the clearing of the native American tribes. They continue to live in Ireland where their chimp outs continue to this day, god only hopes they will someday be exterminated.

==Varieties==
There are many various nationalities slurring around in the gigantic melting pot that is murrika, fighting and [[sex|sexing]] each other incessantly, each a bastardization of that particular race, twisted and deformed by the ignorant fumes that surround the states and it's people. Below we have split these filthy degenerates into three categories.

*'''[[Niggers|Afro-Americunts]]''': Fresh off the slave boats, these knuckle-dragging excuses for humanity flopped onto the shores of murrika and were thrown into captivity by the whiteys before they could say "watermelon". Fast forward a breezy couple hundred years or so, and the weak sympathizer [[Abraham Lincoln]] sets the Afro-Cunts free into the wilderness of America, free to [[Awkward |mingle with the whitey's who had them wiping their pink little butts for a couple of decades]]. The blacks then proceeded to suck up urban hip-hop gang culture with their [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|moderately]] sized [[cock|brown hoovers]] and evolved into the retarded gang-bangers you now see populating all local Fried Chicken outlets. Roughly 90% of them were wiped out through black on black violent gun crime so not a huge threa-'''[[Black Jesus|oh shit they president now!!11''']]

*'''[[Mexicans|Latino-Americunts]]''': Sombrero wearing border jumpers, these hairy brown sweatbags managed to gain access to America squirt out enough tiny brown babies that the border patrol just thought [[Lazy|"fuck it, there's too many"]] and sat back down on their fat asses. The beaners then proceeded spread all across the Americas, farting tacos and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik&feature=related taking jerbs.] Many also went off to become Latino gangbangers, pimping out their rides and rolling around in checkered buttoned up shirts just generally pissing off the whole neighborhood. And some even escalated to the great heights of [[Sabu|a filthy haxor snitch.]]

*'''[[White Devils|Caucasian-Americunts]]''': Basically what happened when sophisticated [[English]] settlers came to the "Land of the free" and somehow gained an ear-piercing drawl of an accent, and lost half their IQ. [[incest|Inbred]] gluttonous flabs of war-mongering flesh, the white American strives to be everything you hate, plus the added bonus of a superiority complex. There are many types of white American, all of them horrific, but the main divider would most likely be wealth. Down in the dregs of society the deformed [[hillbilly]] fucks his sister and downs another can of pabst blue ribbon, luckily these dribbling excuses for humanity are killing themselves out with various ill-advised stunts and drunken truck driving. Then there are the rich and middle class, grinning soulless funda''mental'' Christians, that would gladly rip your intestines out and drink the gooey fluid before even beginning to consider a tax raise, or free healthcare.

*'''[[Sand Niggers|Arabian-Americunts]]''': Well, the dirty Middle-Easterns who have apparently betrayed their America-Hatin', Terrorist ancestors and have succumbed to our redneck lifestyle, most of these types act like Niggers and are always seen wearing [[Chav|fucking Adidas Tracksuits.]] And also most Arabs vary between Pastemonger Arabs and Nigger Arabs (common misconception being they're all brown) Lebanese, Iranians, Syrians, Algerians and Tunisians are practically White. The Lebanese looking like Dagos, act like Dagos (just ask Australia, Light Brown Arabs being; Jordanians, Egyptians, Iraqis and Moroccans and the darker browns being of Arabian Gulf Countries... Last and least the Nigger Arabs being the Sudanese.

*'''[[Asians|Azn-Americunts]]''': Fresh-off-the-coolie boats are these slanted-eyed motherfuckers who are always finding ways to Jew the White Man. The "Math Jews" are a manipulative, conniving, suggestive race who always appear to pass better IQ tests than the White People, surpassing with Math, Computer Studies, Violin practice, they also make better Doctors. Though most Inner-City educated slant-eyes have great tendency to act and dress and think like Niggers and be easily influenced by them, though still maintaining their physically weak posture, they use their Martial-Arts to help them with fights, most Injuns/Pakis are usually the same, just the Chinese Caucasian/Mediterranean counterpart and most of them immigrate and breed like Mexicans, not to mention Sikh parents being INCREDIBLY lazy, getting their poor kids to do all of their work, the Paki women are considered "attractive" most of which grow mustaches and fart and burp during meals.

[[Image:Muslims Honor Killings 03032014.jpg|thumb|right|A hayseed White Devil's opinion of how attractive a Paki woman is considered DESPITE his standards]]

*'''[[Injun|Native Americunts]]''': Uncivilized, primitive, slow-witted people who have "apparently" been here the WHOLE time, when it was shown in studies that they were immigrants from [[India|Asia]].
{{clear}}
<center>{{fv|americuntsvideos|background:white|font-weight:bold
|<big>'''I'm American'''</big> 
<youtube>HB780oK6F9M</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Teabonics - The Official Americunt Language'''</big></center> 
<youtube>g0rqQ1XM_2A</youtube>
|<center><big>'''What the Americunts Really Want'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4vK2kScsa2Q</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina'''</big></center> 
<youtube>lj3iNxZ8Dww</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Americans are NOT stupid - (with Subtitles)'''</big></center> 
<youtube>fJuNgBkloFE</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Tell it Motherfucker like it is!(a fuckin anti-americunt) </big></center> 
<youtube>jMzIlCHWd7I</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Insurance Company Bureaucrats Are Considered Sacred War Hereos'''</big></center> 
<youtube>LCm2WAjQZsc</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Why Americans are obese'''</big></center> 
<youtube>u4zw99VsoMA</youtube>
|<center><big>'''There are so many bald Americans because this guy [[nigger|stole]] all their hair and glued it to his face'''</big></center> 
<youtube>yG0oBPtyNb0</youtube>}}</center>

==[[Teenagers]]==
America is renowned for their youth, who are horndogs and stuck up asswipes that will rag on anything that doesn't relate to them, ie; [[Jocks|sports athletes]], preparatory school students, and the [[The beautiful people|prom queens]] (who will also be known as a prostitute). If sent to other countries, they will most likely fuck with average civilians, rape the local children and women, and ignite major war, causing massive [[lulz]], due to the fact that Americans always consider nuking [[Japan|countries]] a prime and final solution.

Like their parents, the youth of America are dumb, stupid, illiterate, weak minded, fickle, [[Hipster|trendsters]], and soon to be diagnosed with several [[Mental illness|mental aliments]], like "Alcoholism" and "Substance Abuse". At the ripe age of 6, the typical American kid will go to [[School|school]], being introduced to another kid's cool thing of toy they brought to school, like their older brother's CD of NiggerLispz or Pron, and then will abandon their childish youth, claiming it's "for losers" and will then follow into any lame category of subculture, like "Gamer", "Fucktard", "Jock", "Rich Asswipe", "Emo", or practically anything that MTV will throw out to make money out of. Soon, in high school, major shit ensues, like a [[School Shooting|school shooting]], fucking with the retards, and doing shit that's utterly wrong and then lying, "It's just a joke!" to get out of it. On average, over nine thousand percent of Rich and Beautiful teens usually get laid, and the rest get off STD, Baby and responsibility scott free due the [[Suburbs|Suburbia]] Nanny state laws. Anyone who usually doesn't is considered a [[You|loser]], but that's because that's in High School.

Also, don't be surprised if there's usually some news story about murder being conducted by a teen. It's always been like that. Greater analysts conclude the following will happen to the various groups of fuckheads both mentioned and not mentioned.

=="Americans"==
[[Image:American_citizens.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[Nazi|True American citizens expressing their beliefs]]]]
[[Image:Bush-threat.jpg|thumb|300px|DAMN! Beaten by [[Osama]] again!]]
*[[Canada]]: Part of [[North America]]. Also known as America's hat. Canadians sound like Americans but act like the English. Generally Canadians [[DO NOT WANT|do not like]] Americans, however Americans not named [[W]] or [[Dick Cheney]] and hippies love Canada for its safe haven laws when dodging the draft is needed and its liberal drug laws. Americans will often pretend to be Canadian when leaving America since leaving the gated-community that is the USA can result in severe blunt force trauma, being taken hostage and even death.
*[[Mexico]]: Known most popularly for being America's beard, and technically part of North America; but considered to be South America by all Americans ([[NAFTA|business purposes]] excepted) Mexico once included parts of what is now [[California]], [[Texas]] and other South Western states. It is populated by [[beaner|wannabe Americans]] who will do almost [[list of sex moves|anything]] from cleaning Americans' houses, landscaping Americans' lawns, picking Americans' produce to babysitting Americans' children for a slice of American Pie ([[Shit nobody cares about|and to repopulate their stolen land]]). [[Shit nobody cares about|Instead they get no respect, less than minimum wage and are hunted down like the rabid dogs they are by Immigration and Customs Enforcement]] and Lou Dobbs.
*[[South America]]: [[Irony|Ironically]] there are no Americans in South America. If an American travels to South America he/she is called a '''hostage'''.
*[[Israel]]: The fatherland of true American people. Three hundred millions of [[dumbfuck]]s on the other side of big pond are just a workforce to provide [[Jew gold|help]] to the race of masters.

==[http://imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Devolution] and the Nanny State==
Along with the rampant [[Religion|religious fervor]] currently sweeping the nation, things such as the growing -and increasingly violent- anti-[[abortion]] and [[Homophobia|anti-gay rights]] movements, the general mistrust of and disdain for [[science]] and continued calls to expand the scope of death penalty eligibility suggests that the American species appears to be 'devolving' -in effect [[evolution|evolving]] backwards at an alarming rate. [[Some argue]] that this is being hastened by the [[NORP|general public's]] overall willingness to accept a [[infantilism|'''"nanny state"''']], an ideal of sorts that has been gradually foisted upon them by their [[POS|elected officials]] since President Franklin D. Roosevelt invented the [[hugbox]] as a means to control [[Hobo|the great unwashed masses]] in the 1930s as part of his [[depression|New Deal]].

This also reveals one of the many [[batshit crazy|deep-rooted psychological problems]] inherent in America's collective national psyche since [[rape|taking it in the arse]] is integral for a nanny state to flourish. It can thus be deduced that the majority of Americans have a predilection for [[BDSM|acquiescence]] vis-a-vis [[The Man|their "nanny"]]'s strict governance, a masochism which is starkly evident when one looks at the almost [[asking for it|eager acceptance]] of the gradual erosion and [[pwn]]age of their much vaunted [[ED:TRU|Constitutional]], [[lulz|civil]] and [[human rights]].

Much of this [[YHBT|dog-like 'rolling over']] can bee attributed to what [[old media|scholars]] are fond of calling '''"The Dumbing-Down of America"''' (which should not to be confused with the extensive '''Idiot Proofing''' America went through after [[World War 2]]: Electric Boogaloo) but since that particular bottom of that particular barrel has long since been scraped, [[government|the 'nanny's]] attempts to 'dumb-down' the already dumb is akin to trying [[divide by zero|zero division]]. Rather, the current state of the American mind is more likely to be the result of [[retard|idle minds]] with too much time and money on their hands. After the stigma attached to being a slave/slave master was removed by [[Martin Luther King]]'s freeing of the 'textbook slaves' in the 1960s, the [[NORP|'wage slave']] or [[Mexican|'illegal immigrant']] were born and not only became affordable to anyone with a 'decent' job but they became the [[cool|"little black dress"]] of their day. Without mundane daily tasks such as housekeeping, shopping, driving and raising the kids to worry about, the average American could now stop sweating the small stuff and focus on [[rich and beautiful|living life to the max]].

However, without any challenges, the collective American mind began to stagnate and like a [[cripple]]'s atrophied limbs, today stands useless...a slave to the very people they enslaved to do the thinking for them.

Since losing self-sufficiency and resourcefulness to the [[poor|faceless masses]] (both domestic and [[Call Center|foreign]]) who maintain the status quo the [[NORP|average American]] now goes blithely through life assuming that things such as [[Pr0n|entertainment]], refrigeration, [[television]], [[telephone]]s, and the climate are (God) given or naturally occurring phenomena.

This can be [[IDIFTL|easily demonstrated]] by hiding every day items like remote controls and car keys from Americans or overloading a poorly maintained regional power grid during a heatwave until there are blackouts. When faced with the loss of electricity, Americans will walk around like [[zombie|chickens with their heads cut off ]] until '''someone else''' fixes it since finding solutions to every day problems and implementing them have long since been outsourced to '''other people'''.

==Americunt mind==
[[Image:Nathans_commercial.jpg|thumb|Despite the appearance of a 'protest', this is actually an endorsement for Americunt gluttony]]
Americans take much of every day life for granted. Most Americans believe things such as:
*Beer is self-cooling
*Cash rules everything around me
*Food isn't just nutritional, it's for fun.
*Household appliances are God-given and powered by Jesus.
*Ice cubes are a naturally occurring phenomenon.
*Like water, oil is a natural resource, it's free and unlimited
*The whole world has AC, potable water, and enough hot dogs for eating contests
*Everyone respects me because I have a gun
*Ann Coulter is a credible journalist

==Hobbies==
[[Image:Obesity-rate.jpg|thumb|LOL [[Fat|"Are you going to finish that...?"]]]]
Americans have a variety of hobbies including:
*[[BBQ]]
*Dog Fighting
*[[Eating]]
*Competitive Eating
*Frivolous Lawsuits
*[[Gaming]]
*[[Money|Shopping]]
*[[TV]]
*Getting [[troll]]ed by [[Eurofag]]s on [[b|/b/]] every weekend in the obligatory, ritual [[Eurofag]] vs. [[Americunt]] [[flame war]]s. Then losing whenever [[Eurofag]]s play the "[[China]] owns [[America]]" card.

==Sports==
[[Image:Fat fb player.jpg|thumb|[[Handegg]] "poster boy". Are you fat, talentless, devoid of any skill, or can't think for yourself? Fear not retard, this is the activity for you.]]
Apart [[Global Warming|raping the environment]], [[Internet tough guy|running their mouths]], [[Gaming]], [[Money|Shopping]], [[Television|Channel Surfing]], and [[fat|Competitive Eating]], there's nothing Americans like better than pwning, be it a [[Iraq|country]] (or "contry" in merkin), a [[English|language]] ("langage") or [[sport]]s ("sportz").

[[Soccer]] (pronounced: "football"), is the number one sport in the world in which skill is paramount, and is played by kicking a round ball around a pitch to score goals. Touching the ball with your hands results in a penalty. However, since Americunts are [[fat]] (need a break every five seconds), [[stupid]] (need to be told what to do in every play), [[Newbie|unskilled]] (notoriously bad at using their foot hence can only manage the easier task of using hands) it wasn't tailored for them and so resorted to another British game called '''rugby''' (but without the skill, and in tights) instead. American football AKA '''Gridiron''' is a boring, bizarre, stop start, unskilled, activity that caters for fat non-athletes who can't play sport. Only American [[Gay|"fat fairies in tights"]] play due to cultural obligation having invented it, [[LULZ|no choice]]. If Gridiron didn't suck, it would be played outside the nation it was invented where there is no cultural OBLIGATION...but no one does [[shit|because it blows]]. The only Gridiron league that hasn't collapsed like all the others outside America (the low profile CFL) was culturally imposed by Americunts on those poor Canadians, no one plays in Canada and its overrun with Americunts. A static, stop start snoozefest, if you accidentally stumble upon this crap you will inevitably shout [[Fail|"MOVE FFS"]] every twenty seconds before ending the misery and wisely flicking channel. Its so damn [[boring]] that cheerleaders are required: "Wake up people...yay GO TEAM...who's playing?". Every play is scripted, the fairies in tights get told what to do next and there is no innovation - "[[loser|no one thinks for themselves]]" - J.Cleese, as the coach tells the talentless fairies what to do every thirty seconds.."#77 move left, #45 move right, #32 wipe your ass with your left hand"...[[idiot|there is no thinking involved]]. While using the foot is more difficult and requires superior skill, NFL Gridiron as a bizarre activity devoid of any skillful moments "[[boring|the only creative thing are the beer commercials]]", as this crap sucks donkey balls. It's a kiddies game of bump (that's all ninety percent of these grown up fairies in tights and body armor do), the passer (there's only one...[[LULZ]]) gets multiple attempts as they keep [[loser|failing]]. A bemused Sting (like all of us) on this weirdo Gridiron crap - [[fail|"I don't get it, its like wrestling in crash helmets"]]. In a way its a pity Gridiron has zero interest outside North America, because talentless [[fat|ridiculed fat people]] from other countries who get excluded and left out of playing actual sports, would then have Gridiron to play.

Other Sports Americans Have Pwnt and Changed the Name of Include:
*'''[[Basketball]]''' -from '''Netball''': a game played by [[16-year-old girls|English school girls]]. (Basketball was invented by Dr. James Naismith, a Canadian.) Its played by [[Niggers|overgrown uncoordinated ghetto people]] with the easy as fuck task of placing a ball in an open hoop, as its 60 minutes back and forth of "[[fail|you score, no you score, no you score, no you score...ahhhhhhh fuck this shit]]"
*'''[[Baseball]]''' -from '''Rounders''': a game played by [[4kids|English school girls]]. The British invented baseball for small kids (like hopscotch, it ain't for adults), its played by [[poor]] fat people in [[retard|pajamas]]
*'''Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)''' -from '''Agro''': a game 'played' by rival English football hooligans.

==The Sport Machos==
*Died in a Drunk Driving session.
*Get caught up in a VT and literally die knowing they caused it
*Get raped in prison by Bubba because they like to drink a lot, or [[Rape|liked sex too much]]
*Get shot by the person they used to bully around with
*[[Handegg]] aka Gridiron, with its use of tights, body armor, under eye make up, fanny pack and helmet (and the [[list of sex moves|Quarterback Snap]] where one of the [[gay|"fairies in tights"]] mounts his mans "A" hole and shouts "hut hut" '''code for''': "preparing to enter"), this boring faggotry alien activity (that only sad weirdo [[Americans]] play because of cultural obligation having invented it) is the primary recruiting technique for young new homosexuals.
*Join the [[Army]], fuck some [[Afghanistan|Afghan]]s, [[Arab]]s and various [[Asia]]ns and then die from a Assault Rifle blowjob, either getting caught by the locals or on a raid
*Work in a shitty job because of their ability to take more steroids than the average person and therefore being good in sports and nothing else.

==Prepatory School Fags==
*Continued to breastfeed off of Mummy and Duddy, and died [[An Hero|an hero]] because they couldn't afford anymore "Mall Rat Training Sessions".
*Died [[an hero]] while at his post-college institution, because they couldn't get to party
*Died in a drunk driving session.
*Died in a hazing "accident"
*Fucked a chick while in a [[College|frat]], and is now being [[Rape|fucked]] with.
*Now a person who owes money to the local Mafia, and will not be seen until [[Next Thursday]], in a trunk, crushed car, or in the latest trend, cement [[shoes]].
*Now Bubba's latest girlfriend because of his lulz worthy attempt to kill his parents for insurance money and then move off to Amsterdam to open up a pot shop.

==Inventions==
*<s>[[Slavery]]</s> Read your history books. The [[Islam|Arabs]] start that chain.
*<s>[[Genocide]]</s> There were people in Asia making the first white man to kill a Native American look like an amateur because they had already been doing it for thousands of years in places like [[China]] The word [[Genocide]] is sn American invention and was coined by [[Jew|Raphael Lemkin]] {{Jew}}
*[[Burger King]]
*[[Fat|Obesity]]
*[[Ebonics]]
*<s>[[Electricity]]</s> Wrong. The first practical system for generating electricity, the Voltaic Pile, was invented in [[Italy]]
*[[Electricity|<s>The Lightbulb</s>]] Actually invented by British scientist Warren de la Rue. Since it used a Platinum filament it wasn't cost effective. Edison merely improved upon the design.
*[[Electricity|The AC Power Generator]] Actually an American invention. Created by Mad Scientist great [[Nikola Tesla]]
*The Electric Guitar (to make their stupidity be heard halfway through the city)
*[[Comic book fans|<s>Comic Books</s>]] Actually the first graphic novel was published in England.
*[[Video games]] What a surprise. Another thing that is responsablefor making kids fat is an American invention
*<s>[[Scientology]]</s> Actually ripped off in part from ideas by English [[Satanist]] Aleister Crowley
*[[TonyTigerGate|Peanut Butter]] Another fattening food. What a surprise.
*Friendly fire (shooting your own allies in the back out of your own stupidity)
*Fragging (blowing up your own officers out of ''their'' own stupidity)
*Grandma porn
*[[McDonald's]]
* 97% of the worlds retards (see: ''[[wigger]]'' and ''[[wapanese]]'')
*The global financial crisis
*The Internet, via a series of Tubes (see: ''[[Al Gore]]'')
*[[Global Warming]]
*[[Hipster|Science Du Jour]]
*?
*??
*???
*????
*?????
*??????

==War==
[[Image:Will work for armor.jpg|thumb|You should have been a gay [[handegg]] player then.]]
[[Image:OMGbags.jpg|thumb|[[Milk Bags|This is a fact.]]]]
[[Some argue]] that American soldiers are as [[Retard|thick as two short planks]], while others would say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], making them even more retarded. The U.S. and A are decidedly the only nation in the world that always fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]]. However Americunts are so stupid they'll fight this under the illusion of something [[they]] call '[[freedom]]'. This idea of 'freedom' is in fact a dirty lie spread by the Jews, some argue to get Israel, more people say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], therefore making Americunts fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]] of jews and even more retarded than [[you]].
What everyone can agree on however, is that if you joined the US [[Army]], [[Military#Navy|Navy]], [[Military#Marines|Marines]] or [[Military#Air Force|Air Force]] after the invasion of [[Iraq]] you're either a [[school|high school]] drop-out with no future, a [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/07/28/eveningnews/main3107316.shtml?source=mostpop_story gang member], a [[criminal]] and/or a fucking moron and are quite deserving of everything you're whining about ([http://freeinternetpress.com/story.php?sid=13293 currently, not having Internets at the front lines]).

Trained entirely on [[video games]] like [[Grand Theft Auto]] within the sterile bubble that is America, these youngsters have a keen sense of reality, other [[culture]]s and fair-play however, Most Americans team with Jews to plot numerous attacks on their [[9/11|own buildings]]. This is [[Lie|untrue]] and they will [[argue]] that the [[Muslim]]s [[I did it for the lulz|did it]]

Americunts will also insist that the United States Air Force is without question the best in the world, even though incidents like those shown in the video below happen at least twice a second. This is probably because Americunts who join the USAF desperately aspire to be [[Tom Cruise]] in '''Top Gun'''. Even though Top Gun is about the Navy.
 
{| align="center" style="padding:5px;"
|<center><big>'''Friendly Fire Cockpit Video Iraq 2003'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4I6-2NJhnf4</youtube>
|}
 
Americans are excited about their soldiers and like to cover their cars with [[gay]] yellow ribbon stickers proclaiming this. Americans however, do not like paying higher taxes for soldiers' weapons, pay, armour, tools, health care, and education. Five years from now our streets will be awash with IED style brain damaged vets with PTSD and maimed bodies. The first thing they will do is kill and eat all of our Vietnam vets. Then they will come for the Jews]

{{cs|Americunts|Americunts in England (Europe) - A tourist's guide|
England and the Americunt have a long standing, gay relationship. England was bummed by a bush over 9,000 times. Many Americunts visit England, as many of our children do, to return to the Eden of developed life on Earth.

In the Adam and the Ants track 'Kings of the Frontier', Adam sings "I feel beneath the white, there is a redskin suffering, from centuries of taming". This is of coarse incorrect with regards to Americunts, who all have Brits inside their inner an-hus sanktomb holes, eating away at them like an itchy prostate cancer they can't scratch. Evidenced by how so many Americunts have some obscure fraction of someone living in the UK or Ireland within their family history, and won't shut up about it. No one in Europe is proud of being related to the Americunt and no one mentions it if they are.

Americunts unable to leave Amma-reeka, scared that they'll be raped t' fuck by everyone in Europe upon arrival, produce overblown stories regarding the poor industrial, economic or military power of Europe and the superiority of the US, so as to convince themselves they are correct to remain isolated and not visit a single other country or experience one other vista on existence within their lifespan, dripping away. This may extend to criticizing dental reg-eye-mays, how sexually appealing the girls are or how straight the boys are in England, whilst sporting their curiosly circumcised peni design to get on good with the boys in the soapy shower rooms of their homeland. And whilst simultaneously wanting to fuck the living shit out of the super hotties in Europe, untainted by Mc Donalds induced obesity and cosmetics or surgery as they are.

Americunts are INTENSELY paranoid of being in Europe, as they have all seen Hostel and believe it's a documentary. This seemingly humorous statement is FACT. The author has direct, personal experience of Americunts in England.

"Don't take that, that's how they get you!" he heard from an Americunt in reponse to someone handing out flyers for a bar. This may be why the intuitive sense of an Americunt is to bomb the fuck out of everything outside the US, regardless of the mondo red crosses painted all over it and guys running around in bright white uniforms covered in red crosses.

Americunts typically can't point to England on a map, and do not realize that Ireland, Scotland and Wales are not England. Or that some of these regions have a deep hatred of being referred to as England. Americunts do not realize that the US supplied the IRA (from Ireland) with weapons, and that the IRA are effectively the Taliban of the UK. They've set off 2000lb bombs around London and seriously fucked shit up. They are also lying little paddy fuckwits that continually change their minds regarding ceasefires. Even the Irish are getting pissed off with them.

Americunts do not realize that a gigantic number of places in the US are actually named after places in the UK. Or that Central Park is a copy of the first public park, Central Park in Birkenhead, UK (DANGER, AMERICUNT! EXTREME CHAV CONTAMINATION ZONE!).

It is a well known fact that every Americunt secretly wishes to live in England on an estate, shotgunning poor people from their balcony whilst sipping tea (putting milk in fruit teas, making it split, not realizing that is not 'tea') and eating strawberries; as per their view of everyday life in England. Modonna herself has begun living this capitalistic, monarchy derived delusion in the UK. This does not help [[British]] / Americunt relations. We don't want her nasty chicken ass polluting England. Please, take her back.

Americunts visit York and believe it to be an accurate depiction of the [[British]]; when it is in fact an 'artificial museum', similar to Florida, but based on ye olde reality. This belief can lead to problems when visiting more realistic [[chav]] infected zones within the UK, which are both numerous and include London and York, the two tourist centres of the UK. York in particular has a strong hatred of the outsider and the BNP (the UK equilivant of the KKK, but targeted towards anything with a foreign accent or tan (themz typez)), has a significant number of supporters in this area. It can be quite a remarkable change in attitude given that many Americunts will be traveling to York from London, where tolerance of the foreigner is high at the latter. Americunts will wear T-shirts or hats featuring something to do with London printed on them and then travel to the north. This is not a good idea. Only the Japanese may not only look cool but also get away with this.

'Those types' of ne'er do wells are easy to spot in the US. They are in biker gangs or fucked off their tits on meth. They are also easy to spot in the UK, yet few Americunts appear willing to spend five minutes familiarizing themselves with the [[chav]] articles and similar, such that they may learn to identify potential risk factors upon visiting. Instead choosing to wear $2000 cameras around their necks in rough estates, assuming the blistered tarmac, broken glass and number plates scattered around them are quaint.

Americunts assume that because the UK has gun control, they are safe to [[asking for it| ask for it]]. In reality, if the UK released it's gun control laws, it would bring about Chavageddon, the new era of darkness. (Sort of like America, only the gang-bangers don't make any real money)

The [[British]] is essentially backwards to the US. Replace north with south. Unless an Americunt is genuinely a gangster and has genuinely grown up in a shitty environment thinking throwing up drugs is the way of things, it must take care of it's mouth and possessions around the north; particularly if it has a tan or strong accent.

The [[British]] has a serious problem with alcohol. The Americunt is considered a faggot if it is sick after ten pints of 9% larger in under an hour. Teens routinely drink 3l of 9% cider. As such, it is common to see mounted police and riot vans around on Friday and Saturday nights. Americunts will engage in nay saying about the [[British]] online, but engaging in this when confronted by a [[chav]] may result in an assault or mugging. [[Chavs]] typically operate in worryingly large gangs, unable to act alone, and will carry knives. Tens of them will immediately decloak and materialize from the concrete surroundings upon identifying a victim or sensing any foreign vulnerability, or just for the fun of scaring the Americunt. They will target Americunts lecturing on dental hygiene that have also not brushed their cosmetically bleached teeth in the last month. Americunts are commonly obese and stink, rendering them detectable from a large distance by the [[chav]]. Get a wash.

Due to their inability to be honest about their feelings without tranquilizing quantities of alcohol within them and the Americunt's unfamiliarity with this level of religious intoxication, they will assume a [[British]] is being honest when not drunk. Fail.

The [[British]] almost always use sarcasm as a sense of humor. The Americunt can reverse what they're actually hearing to define the truth.

The Americunt MUST attempt to lower the volume of it's universally fucking annoying voice in public areas and remove 'bum-bags' or 'fanny packs'. Do not refer to you ass as your fanny. Do not engage in arguments about wars or gun control around areas selling alcohol or up north. Do not discuss the imperial system of measurement around drunk or sober [[British]]. We invented it. It's shit. And the Americunt is shit for thinking it's better than the, French, metric system. DO engage in imperial if talking to a London based street merchant or someone over the age of 60.

Similar rules apply when visiting the rest of Europe; e.g. in hotter countries around Europe (like Italy), replace [[chavs]] with gypsies. They will have a cup and ask you for change. Put your hands on your money and walk away. There's a good chance the Americunt is about the be pick pocketed. The Americunt is uber wise to try and broaden it's horizons, but must not assume Europe is Disney Land. It is perfectly safe, but please dont [[asking for it|ask for it]] from our scummers.|0}}

==Things Americans Hate==

# World peace and tranquility.
# Taking their [[Gun control|guns away]].
# Maps.
# [[European]] football.
# The Native Americans.
# Taking their [[McDonald's|burgers]] away.
# Health and fitness.
# Books and reading.
# [[Niggers]].
# Traveling.
# Getting an education.
# Passports.
# [[Michael Moore]].
# Socialism.
# Communism.
# [[Muslims]].
# Reminding them they didn't "win" the [[World War II|Second World War]] single-handedly and that [[Truth|the Allies would have defeated Germany without their help]].
# Homosexuals.
# The [[British]].
# Quality beer.
# Gyms.
# The Middle East (''with the exception of [[Israel]], obviously'').
# Gas prices.
# The [[Canadians]].
# Eating healthy foods.
# Exercising.
# Edward Snowden.
# Libraries.
# The [[Russians]].
# Cutting the financial funds for their military.
# The [[Japanese]].
# Not sticking their noses in other countries' affairs.
# Diets.
# Schooling.
# The [[Germans]].
# Cuba.
# America.
# Respecting other cultures and countries' beliefs.
# [[Pedobear]].
# Watching sex in movies.
# [[You]].

==Myths and Truths==
[[Image:Fallingdown.jpg|thumb|An average American on his way to the office, minus the fat]]
*All own guns and use them for shooting [[nigra]]s and [[queer]]s. (Wrong. They are for pwning Bambi's mom and dad.)
*Americans are so stupid that if you bring up '''The Battle Of Devolution''' in a history class that they'll think you're refrencing 1970's New Wave, electronic music.
*Are so stupid that they'll declare war on smoking tobacco but somehow can find ways to rationalize smoking [[weed]], vaping or even chewing tobacco.
*America is the center of the world. When your for shit European or third world country can influence the world by how strong its currency is doing then you can call this simple American Nationalism and arrogance.
*Are alleged to smell like cheese burgers and arrogance.
*Americans claim that their military is Akin to G.I. Joe and fighting for their freedom. (Wrong. Their military is for satisfying their Jew government's conquest. Their government's been taking away their freedoms as more and more soldiers are sent to be wormfood.)
*Americans look like how they are portrayed in [[Hollywood]]. (Wrong. 99.9% of Americans are fat ugly cunts who fail at life, the rest are also fat and ugly but have teh moneys for plastic surgery.)
*Always wear plaid on vacation in [[Europe]]. (So please keep them.)
*Visit Europe and go to a High Class restaurant in Paris wearing sweats. [[Muslim|Muslims]], the next time you riot we'll look the other way if you take a couple of these out.
*Are all [[fat]] and greedy. (Only about 110% are fat and greedy.)
*Most can't do one pull-up.
*Are so obsessed with their race because of their mud origins of fucking [[nigger]]s, Indians, [[Mexican]]s and the [[China|Chinese]] that they'll spend $500 for a gene test to discover their origins.
*Invented Father's Day just to [[troll]] the niggers.
*Are evil and will eventually [[pwn|destroy]] the world. (Correct. Research the predicted effects of nuclear weapons from before they tested the first one.)
*Are [[Glenn Beck|loud and vulgar]]. (Particularly the 13 year olds.)
*Are obsessed with [[attention whore|dentistry and cosmetic surgery]]. (See also: [[attention whore|The War on Cavities]])
*Are so fucking lazy that they fight over who should take the trash out [[Fat|due to the gargantuan amount they eat]].
*Are the leading cause of [[Global Warming]]. (Though we all know this is really the fault of the jews)
*Are the sad result of what happens if you mix all european races together and add some niggas to make it more colourful
*Are [[retard|uneducated]] and easily fooled -more than once (see: [[W]]).
*Believe that [[South Africa]] is the only place left with [[Apartheid]] when they fail to look on their own backyard.
*Brought the world such wonderful mordern blessings like [[crack]], [[Meatspin.com|tranny porn]] a.k.a [[Transgender|Madonna]] and [[Homosexuality|The Village People]].
*Claim to hate their country as much as everyone else to gain acceptance from the rest of the world (See also: [[Fail]])
*Everytime you think they can't get any bigger asshole for president they'll prove you wrong. (Nixon -> Reagan -> [[W]] -> [[Barack Obama]])
*Fail at war and love using faggity, poor kids as bait. (see: [[Korea]], [[Vietnam]], [[Cuba]], [[Afghanistan]], [[Iraq]], [[Canada]]). (See also: [[Gay|The war on homosexuality]], the [[War on drugs]]) but the Bay of Pigs was a bunch of Cuban refugees. (see ''[[fucktard]]'')
*Assume everything [[Spanish]] is brown and Mexican.
*Assume everything [[Mexican]] is brown and speaks Spanish.
*Assume everything [[Middle Eastern|brown]] is Mexican and speaks Spanish.
*Know of the Second World War but are [[Spellcheck|surpised]] if you tell them there also was a [[World War I|first one]] too. Honest
*Upon learning of their involvement in WWI they will immediately assume America won it.
*Love [[Jews]]. (This relationship has been strained by the Jewish generated GFC because of the Jewish conspiracy making normal Americunts believe it's all the arabs fault)
*Ran out of the letters, ''''u'''' and ''''s'''' in the 18th century and will soon deplete the world's supply of ''''z''''s.
*[[Ruin]] everything they touch. (Just look at the Internet, and Liverpool Football Club)
*Will soon be renamed "The Chinese". Yay!!!1one!!
*Will sue anything that moves.
*Have the highest population of Manchildren in the world because parents are afraid to kick their kid's ass.
*Genuinely hate freedom, despite living in the self-proclaimed "Freest Country in the World".
*Wish they had a king or royals but will never have more than the desposed [[Hawaii]]an royal family and the crown jewels from Burger King.
*Are highly illiterate. (Much of this article demonstrates that fact.)
*America is one vast, urban slum. (Wrong: America is one vast, ''rural'' slum.)

==Trolling Americunts==
Trolling an Americunt is as easy as telling them the truth and things that actually make sense, then, watching them get mad.

*Ask them why they can't use proper English.
*Remind them how far behind their education system is compared to other nations.
*Tell them they are the fattest country in the world.
*Make fun of their shitty healthcare system.
*Explain to them that [[No shit|they ''aren't'' the best country in the world]].
*Tell them how much their beer and chocolate sucks compared to Europe's.
*Remind them they didn't invent apple pie.
*Say something negative about the United States military.
*And while you're at it, talk about their invasions in Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq and how many innocent civilians their soldiers have killed.
*Call them a "yank" to their face and start laughing.
*Harass and piss them off on X-Box Live.
*Laugh and make jokes about [[9/11]].
*Ask them if they own a passport and if they travel.
*Point out to them that they wouldn't have won the American Revolution without the help from [[France]] and other countries.
*Burn or piss on American flags.
*Tell them that [[Michael Moore]] is an honorable, dedicated American citizen.
*Fuck their ugly-ass women.
*Say something nice about [[Canadians]] and how much more civil they are.
*Say that USA is made from everything than Europe shits and puke.
*Tell them that the Russian military is more badass and can nuke them easily.
*Bring up their long and shameful history of slavery and genocide.
*Throw burgers at their faces.
*Talk about how [[Australia]] is so much better than the USA.
*Tell them that taxation is evil (It's like saying [[Muhammad]]'s a pig-fucker in [[Iran]])
*Tell them how much their ''football'' sucks.
*Just say "Fuck America!" or "America sucks!" It makes them mad which will generate great lulz.
*Tell them that the United States is NOT the entire fucking continent.
*Say that the [[9/11]] is the best thing that happened to mankind!
*Tell them you're a terrorist.
*Remind them when they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
*Say that God doesn't exist.
*Remind them how small their penises are.
*Tell them that America is not a free country. It'll be even better if you provide the proof, and there is plenty of it.
*Remind them how little they contributed to World War 1 and 2.
*Remind them of The Bay of Pigs and The Alamo.
*Ironically the American populace have total love and admiration for the British Welfare Princess Kate Middleton, more so than Jesus. Start calling her the "Welfare Princess".
*Disable the NSA spying device in your charter jet's bathroom so they can't see if your president is making out with Edward Snowden on the trip home to Bolivia.

==Why Americans Suck==

[[File:Antiusa.png|left]]

* They're [[fat]].
* They're a bunch of gun-slinging, bloodthirsty warmongers.
* In the 1940s they did a great sword hunt in Japan destroying these weapons so that a cult wouldn't build up around the ideas of Bushido that a Samurai is some kind of bullet dodging demon that can cut tanks in half with a single slice of their sword that would stall the rebuilding and modernisation of Japan with revolutions and uprisings. Then come 40 years later their grandchildren worship the Japanese for these same cult ideas of a Samurai being some kind of immortal god that can catch bullets in their hands because of [[Animu]].
* They're stupid as shit.
* Most of them can't find [[England]] on a fuckin' map or even their own fucking state.
* They can't even find [[Italy]] even when you first point to the Mediterranean Sea and say it's bordered by it and looks like a boot.
* They're rude and loud as fuck.
* Their nation was founded on slavery, racism and genocide.
* They continue to butcher, rape and bastardize the English language (and speaking of which that's ''bastardise,'' you dumb cunt!).
* Most can't even name all 5 great lakes (HOMES) or know that Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake that doesn't border [[Canada]]
* Most can't even name the river that divides the U.S. into East and West
* Will actually argue with you that all rivers flow south because of [[Gravity]]
* They think they're [[Bullshit|the best people on the fucking planet]].
* Their healthcare system sucks.
* They bow down to the [[Jews|J00z]].
* They're obsessed with guns.
* Their cops are trigger-happy, racist motherfuckers.
* Most of them are ugly, obese hogs.
* They invaded [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan]] and killed many innocent civilians for the oil and the lulz. The lulz we can respect.
* They can only speak one language as they're too unintelligent and lazy to learn to speak it right or be bothered to learn others.
* They created [[McDonald's]].
* They send their soldiers to go out killing people in the Middle East, and then worship and hail them as honorable heroes.
* They have no unique or extraordinary culture; the majority of so-called "American culture" is ripped off from other cultures in other countries and the original culture and cultural inovations they do have are Southern, Black creations like Jazz and the Blues and are often ignored until someone like Elvis or Eric Clapton comes along and cleans it up enough for mainstream, white audiences.
* They created [[W]] and voted for him twice.
* They created [[Obama]] and voted for him, also twice.
* They eat too much.
* They made [[Twilight]].
* They invented rap music.
* They let the Chinese produce their shit.
* Their country is too fucking big to travel through as it takes hundreds of miles just to drive from state-to-state. Make sure you don't pass out from exhaustion and boredom at the wheel while you're driving endlessly on the highways!
* They're the birthplace of [[WalMart]].
* Their food is greasy, fattening and gross.
* And because of all these reasons, not enough of them got pwnt on [[9/11]].
* Their government is corrupt and run by fucked up politicians.
* They steal your oil.
* They celebrate Thanksgiving even though they massacred the Natives, people who've inhabited the country for [[Over 9000]] years.
* Most of their music is crap.
* They produced Kim Kardashian.
* Two words, Bruce Jenner
* They will proudly claim that no foreign power has ever invaded the U.S. conviently forgetting about how England Pwned the White House in 1812
* Most of them don't know they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
* They're always sucking [[Israel]]'s <s>giant</s> small cock.
* They're always licking England's royal family's ass like they have any influence in America.
* They actually think [[BBC]] news is completely objective and has no bias.
* They make shitty, overdone movies full of propaganda. Need proof, how come a holocaust movie almost always wins an oscar.
* They joined [[World War II]] too late.
* They joined [[World War I]] way too late.
* Talking about [[World War I]], they bought weapons from the [[France|French]]. The fucking FRENCH
* Since we brought up the [[gun|Chauchat]], that mistake called the M16 in the 60s trying to replace the much superior M14
* They are so lazy about supporting their arts that the majority of who they consider their greatest writers like Ernest Hemmingway and Gertrude Stein got their starts in Europe.
* They speak in the most boring, bland and uninteresting accents ever known to man.
* They have a long, shameful history of treating [[Niggers|brown people]] like shit.
* They drug their kids up with [[Ritalin]] but they're still fat as hell because parents are selling their prescriptions to their trailorpark neighbours.
* They'd rather worry about the poor in foreign country shit holes than help people in the Appalachians
* They start meaningless, bullshit wars in the Middle East for profit, oil and lulz.
* They share the border with [[Canada]] (''and God knows [[Fact|that's bad enough!]]''').
* They also share the border with [[Mexico]] (''AND OMFGZ THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!'').
* Their beer is shit even though they claim they were created by [[Germany|German]] immigrants.
* The majority of them are religious freaks.
* And speaking of religious freaks, they produced the [[Westboro Baptist Church]].
* They like the [[French]] even though the French, in return, hate their guts and don't give a shit about them.
* They allow filthy, smelly illegal beaners from Mexico invade their country.
* Most of them are descendants from Germans (''aka'' '''[[Nazi|NAZIS]]''').

==Gallery==
{{cg||AmericuntsGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Americangenetics.jpg
Image:18 Times.jpg
File:Americunts Racialism.jpg
Image:Bin Ladin Hunt.jpg
Image:Morans.jpg
File:America Jewish Control 1980s styel.jpg
File:Fatblob.jpg
Image:Fox_News_Grin.jpg|Typical smarmy American
Image:Gore_Turd.gif|A typical American, talking shit
Image:Euro_v_USA_Thongs.jpg|Eurofags win again
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Anette-Paris the difference between.jpg|And again
Image:Columbus_Hay_Guys.jpg
Image:Soccerfag.jpg|Newborn Americunt.
Image:Its_The_Attitude_Stupid.gif|Typical Americunt listening to his [[Ipod]]
Image:American sonicfag.jpg|You can't get much worse than an American sonicfag
Image:Fat_American_whale_with_mayo.jpg| Typical [[fat]] American [[woman]] enjoying a light snack.
File:Burgers.jpg
Image:Muh_freedoms.jpg
Image:Pizza_-_American_Pastime.jpg|America's Favorite Pastime: Gorging Themselves Stupid
Image:Land of the free.gif
File:New Face Of America.jpg
File:Burger Assault.jpg
File:Americuntwalker.jpg
File:America Hypocrite Comic POL.png
Image:American bastard.jpg
File:Smashtheusa.jpg
File:Jewish American.jpg
File:Americunt Average 2017.png
File:Americunt Come And Take It.png
File:Americunt Pepsiman.png
File:Americunt Ugly.png
File:Murka is Wite.png
File:Americunt POL Mongrol.jpg
File:Fatyank.jpg
File:Sexyburgergirls.png
File:EUvsUS.jpg
Image:Triplets with american flag.jpg|American [[tits]]
File:DELET this.jpg|Typical piece of shit capitalist pig americunt's reaction to this page
Image:CarissaHads.jpg|In Soviet America, [http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/female-poses-as-male-789432 Girl on Internet] Rapes YOU!
Image:American artwork.jpg|An American self-sculpture in a foreign museum.
File:Burgersalute.gif
File:USmemesucks.jpg
Image:America, Fuck Yeah!.jpg|America? Fuck Yeah!
Image:American Video Games.jpg|Over [[Obesity|400 pounds of fat and lard!]]Evolution - American Evolution.jpg
File:BURGERBOMBING.jpg|Americans on holiday.
File:Americans In Their Natural Habitat.jpg
File:Sweatyfatpiecefoshit.jpg
Image:Murkan schools.png|[[No|Kids in American Schools are smart, aren't they?]]
File:Bombsforhitler.jpg
File:Americanshoppingexperience.jpg
File:Obamafaggot644.jpg|Modern leadership values
Image:Banditkeith.jpg|[[fact|All Americans are required to wear flags on their heads]] by LittleKuriboh. Anyone who breaks this law will spend the rest of their life watching {{ytlink|ZAPHWKZLelg|his Zoo Videos}}.
File:Burgerfaggotdude.png
Image:America_-_Hands_Free_Whopper_Holder.png
File:Staresinamerican.jpg
File:Happylittletbombs.jpg
File:Notfatjezmurkan.jpg
File:A1mericadotexe.jpg
File:Atypicalamerican.jpg|A typical American
File:Patriotard.gif
File:Fuckoffcommiefaggots.jpg
File:BURGER.jpg
File:REALamerican.jpg
File:Americanflag.jpg
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Rascal_Racers.jpg|You win the PRIZE, America!
File:Jesseosbornegun.jpg
File:News.png
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Waddle_Proud.jpg|Waddle proud!
Image:America_-_Patriotic_Eagle_Cosplay.jpg
Image:The president.jpg
File:Americadotexe.jpg
Image:America_-_American_Children.jpg|FUCK YEAH! :D
File:Burgerjew.jpg
File:Throneofusa.jpg
File:Googleamericans.jpg
File:Burgercomic.png
File:EssenseOfAmerica.jpg
File:Americanactivities.jpg
File:Gayptianmurka.jpg
Image:Amerimutt.jpg|This is what is behind the computer screen when you are called nonwhite.
</gallery>}}
{{clear}}

==See Also==
* [[America is Racist]]
* [[Anti-Americanism]]
* [[Asinine American]]
* [[Insane]]
* [[Jim Traficant]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]]
* [[Native Americans]]
* [[Pindos]]
* [[The Jewnited States of Americunts]]
* [[Why do you hate America?]]

==External Links==
* [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/incl/bbcpoll.pdf Why do they hate Americans?]
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Americans circa 2007]
* [http://www.americaisdoomed.com/ America is Doomed]
* [http://www.americanhypocrites.org/ This article/site perfectly illustrates why America is the VERY DEFINITION of hypocrisy!]

{{unitedstates}}

{{Timeline|Featured article September 4, [[2007]]|[[Burning Man]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Anti-ED-Club]]}}

[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Americunts

2025-01-07T02:26:16Z

Juiceoverflow:

[[Image:For God and Country.jpg|300px|right]]
[[File:Americans.png|thumb|right|300px|Americans prepare to mate]]
'''Americunts''', (also known as '''Americans''', when singular '''[[Impossible|A-merry-cunt]]''') are the fattest breed of animals on [[Earth]]. Americans frequently visit [[jailbaitgallery.com]] and are made from [[Statistics|80% fat, 20% propaganda, and 100% FAIL]]. Their women are epicly [[ugly]] and their men have tiny penises (Ranking lower on average than most people except Indians and other gooks). Americans are those who call [[USA|'''The United States of America''']] (pronounced "Murka") home. A veritable [[jenkem|melting pot]] of races, creeds and [[England|colours]], this sub-human offshoot of humanity has been rendered practically [[Terri Schiavo|brain-dead]] by being force-fed vast quantities of shitty materialistic [[crap|garbage]] and relentlessly beaten about the head with the [[Old Media|Stupid Stick]]. The whole game was rigged from the start to make americunts the dumbest most gullible fucktards in World History.

The world's opinion of Americans is that they are [http://www.voanews.com/english/2007-08-27-voa60.cfm morbidly obese], arrogant bullies who, being [[liberal]] [[white trash|hillbillies]] with a severe case of the stupid, act like they are [[Ferrari Guy|God's gift to the planet Earth.]] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDVg9uGtzJ4 This is how they greet each other] Meanwhile, the rest of the world [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/about/show_anti-americans.html hates America] with unfathomable intensity, which Americans have convinced themselves is [[Nice try|'jealousy.']]

It is often asked of Americans and non-Americans alike, "[[Why do you hate America?]]" and, although there are [[over nine thousand]] answers to this question, the main reason is that the only thing that stands between the [[Arab]] nations of the [[Middle East]] pushing [[Israel]] into the ocean (exactly like those [[nazi|genocidal, anti-semitic, land-theiving white people from europe]] pretending to be middle-eastern deserve) is the U.S. [[government]] and the American Public's [[BFF|undying support]] for the [[Jews]]. The Jews control were personally responsible for orchestrating the terrorist attacks on the [[9/11|world trade center]], in conjunction with the [[FBI]], [[DHS]], [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[W]].

Even the <s>[[nigger]]</s> <s>[[The_Donald|grifter]]</s> <s>[[Joe_Biden|pedo]]</s> <s>[[The_Donald|grifter]] who runs America loves the Jews and supports the state of Israel, believing that Israel's existence is key to setting the stage for [[The Rapture]]. However, all Americans can identify with a nation built on faggotry, stolen land and the [[Pwn|subjugation]] of its [[Native Americans|savage Injun natives]].

Most importantly, it is a well-known fact that the IQ range of the general, ordinary American is [[retard|70 or lower]]; most folk with respectable levels of intelligence often flee to superior lands like yurop and get a STEM education there for free, instead of being subjugated to [[Over 9000]] trillion dollars of student loan debts from an American [[College]].

==The American People==
{{quote|The 100% American is 99% idiot.|George Bernard Shaw|actual quote}}

{{quote|hey fuck face, leave everybody alone. [[Typical|education don't matter worth a shit to me. i left school when i was seven]] and [[Lie|i make 5,000 bucks a month because i work hard.]] pussies like you don't know what hard work is. you can take yer precious education and shove it up yer ass and set fire too it. hard work and god is what makes the world go round, not education, and science, and politicians and goddamn sand niggers like you. click the X button at the corner of your screen for gods sake|JaredChastain1|Taken from a johnny rebel video on jewtube, and a perfect example of the typical NASCAR watching retard americunt}}

[[File:Genericamerican.jpg|thumb|right|What americans look like, according to [[Japan]]]]
[[File:Ddtmom.JPG|thumb|right|[[Truth|What they look like in reality]]]]
Poll after poll has shown that [[everyone|the majority]] of Americans are [[Prove me wrong|illiterate morons]], as well as homicidal mouth-breathers with mommy-issues. The polls have revealed such [[lulz|gems]] as ([http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/05/0502_060502_geography_2.html amongst other things]) the fact that over 70% of Americans either don't believe in [[evolution]] at all or believe that evolution is part of [[God]]'s [[1337]] plan. More 'Murkins believe in angels than evolution and don't know where the fuck their own country is, and will constantly ask you why you do not think, act or believe the way they do. Polls also show that most American adults can't name the three branches of their government, are unaware of how many Senators their state has (much less name him/her/them) - as well as not knowing what the [[CIA|FDA]] is or does [http://www.townhall.com/columnists/JonahGoldberg/2007/08/01/too_uninformed_to_vote].

Recent polls revealed that every one in five Americans could not locate the United States [[facepalm|when shown a map]]. The other 4/5 apparently possess a [[map]], an atlas and/or [[LOL WUT|a clue]], but could not spell '''cat''' if you spotted them a '''c''' and a '''t'''. [[The Chaser]] has also demonstrated that most Americans cannot name a country beginning with the letter "U," though this is not significant, as the average American cannot name any country whose name is composed of more than three letters.

Americans are a social group of obnoxious [[white]] fucks who can be described as arrogant, crude, defensive, dumb, [[fat]], [[gun]] crazy, incredibly [[gullible]], [[ignorant]] (no awareness so ain't inhibited to behave like a [[fucktard]]), inbred, homicide junkies, lawsuit junkies, plastic surgery junkies, therapy junkies, lazy, loud, nasal accented, <s>blonde</s> châtain, stupid, terrified, uncivilized, uneducated wackos..."Can't solve personal issues without gun, [[lawyer]] or [[A frank discussion of mental illness|therapist]]" such [[stereotype]]s means Americunts merits their status as the most ridiculed weirdos on Earth.

The main reason they are so fat is that they are too stupid to chew their food, tearing off whole chunks of unhealthy processed meat and swallowing it whole.

== Americunts And Geneology ==

{{Quote|I don't see much future for the Americans ... it's a decayed country. And they have their racial problem, and the problem of social inequalities ... my feelings against Americanism are feelings of hatred and deep repugnance ... everything about the behaviour of American society reveals that it's half Judaised, and the other half negrified. How can one expect a State like that to hold together?|Adolph Hitler}}

Probably, the biggest problem with Americunts is this Eugenics hold-over from the 1920s and believing that origin means something special. 
Many of the Editors here at [[Awesome|ED]] are multi-national and are aware that such obsessions with genetics and origins don't exist in [[Europe]]. 
It's like one ED Editor said, "Do you know what a child who has two [[Russia|Russian]] immigrant parents calls himself in [[France]]? FRENCH! Not Russian-French but French." 
For some reason [[retard|Americunts]] find it G-D awful important to know their ethnicity down to a single percent like some natural ability for language or mathmatics comes with it and this is why DNA companies are making money hand over fist telling stupid Americunts their genetic origin for [[money|$1,000 a pop]] because their [[Nazi|secret racial pride]] needs to be reassured that they are all white. 
So long as a favored position can be earned through proof of a favored ethnicity, say Native American, in job applications, scholorships, loans and promotions Americunts will never break from this obsession and always be a hotbed for racially charged wars. 

The real joke here is not how these [[retard|Americunts]] call themselves [[Germany|German]], [[England|English]] or [[Greece|Greek]] but when they go to these countries and they're called stupid, Americunt fuckwits that think genetics equals a learned cultural experience because they actually believe they'll automatically fit in. 

== American Heritage ==
Europeans often find Americans repulsive, even just looking at them. There is a reason why. The melting pot of white American identity has been formed by the rejects of Europe. Peoples so subhuman they could only be accepting in a nation of foreigners. Here are a small selection of these races.

*'''[[English]]'''
English are bastards and subhumans disconnected from any wider civilization. The ones which left to America were at the lower end of this gene pool, radical Protestants who despised tradition, authority and god. These fuckjobs left to the US in their droves to have a new country to implement their idiocy and inspired the American Revolution, fuelled by their atheistic enlightenment ideas.

*'''Scots-Irish'''
Scots-Irish is a misleading name for this exiled tribe, being neither fully Scottish, Irish or human. They were banished from Scotland and England for being such worthless subhumans and sent to Ireland, where they were again banished and continued to America, the only place accepting of such a vile race. There they were known as "white barbarians" and their savagery became quite useful in the clearing of the native American tribes. They continue to live in Ireland where their chimp outs continue to this day, god only hopes they will someday be exterminated.

==Varieties==
There are many various nationalities slurring around in the gigantic melting pot that is murrika, fighting and [[sex|sexing]] each other incessantly, each a bastardization of that particular race, twisted and deformed by the ignorant fumes that surround the states and it's people. Below we have split these filthy degenerates into three categories.

*'''[[Niggers|Afro-Americunts]]''': Fresh off the slave boats, these knuckle-dragging excuses for humanity flopped onto the shores of murrika and were thrown into captivity by the whiteys before they could say "watermelon". Fast forward a breezy couple hundred years or so, and the weak sympathizer [[Abraham Lincoln]] sets the Afro-Cunts free into the wilderness of America, free to [[Awkward |mingle with the whitey's who had them wiping their pink little butts for a couple of decades]]. The blacks then proceeded to suck up urban hip-hop gang culture with their [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|moderately]] sized [[cock|brown hoovers]] and evolved into the retarded gang-bangers you now see populating all local Fried Chicken outlets. Roughly 90% of them were wiped out through black on black violent gun crime so not a huge threa-'''[[Black Jesus|oh shit they president now!!11''']]

*'''[[Mexicans|Latino-Americunts]]''': Sombrero wearing border jumpers, these hairy brown sweatbags managed to gain access to America squirt out enough tiny brown babies that the border patrol just thought [[Lazy|"fuck it, there's too many"]] and sat back down on their fat asses. The beaners then proceeded spread all across the Americas, farting tacos and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik&feature=related taking jerbs.] Many also went off to become Latino gangbangers, pimping out their rides and rolling around in checkered buttoned up shirts just generally pissing off the whole neighborhood. And some even escalated to the great heights of [[Sabu|a filthy haxor snitch.]]

*'''[[White Devils|Caucasian-Americunts]]''': Basically what happened when sophisticated [[English]] settlers came to the "Land of the free" and somehow gained an ear-piercing drawl of an accent, and lost half their IQ. [[incest|Inbred]] gluttonous flabs of war-mongering flesh, the white American strives to be everything you hate, plus the added bonus of a superiority complex. There are many types of white American, all of them horrific, but the main divider would most likely be wealth. Down in the dregs of society the deformed [[hillbilly]] fucks his sister and downs another can of pabst blue ribbon, luckily these dribbling excuses for humanity are killing themselves out with various ill-advised stunts and drunken truck driving. Then there are the rich and middle class, grinning soulless funda''mental'' Christians, that would gladly rip your intestines out and drink the gooey fluid before even beginning to consider a tax raise, or free healthcare.

*'''[[Sand Niggers|Arabian-Americunts]]''': Well, the dirty Middle-Easterns who have apparently betrayed their America-Hatin', Terrorist ancestors and have succumbed to our redneck lifestyle, most of these types act like Niggers and are always seen wearing [[Chav|fucking Adidas Tracksuits.]] And also most Arabs vary between Pastemonger Arabs and Nigger Arabs (common misconception being they're all brown) Lebanese, Iranians, Syrians, Algerians and Tunisians are practically White. The Lebanese looking like Dagos, act like Dagos (just ask Australia, Light Brown Arabs being; Jordanians, Egyptians, Iraqis and Moroccans and the darker browns being of Arabian Gulf Countries... Last and least the Nigger Arabs being the Sudanese.

*'''[[Asians|Azn-Americunts]]''': Fresh-off-the-coolie boats are these slanted-eyed motherfuckers who are always finding ways to Jew the White Man. The "Math Jews" are a manipulative, conniving, suggestive race who always appear to pass better IQ tests than the White People, surpassing with Math, Computer Studies, Violin practice, they also make better Doctors. Though most Inner-City educated slant-eyes have great tendency to act and dress and think like Niggers and be easily influenced by them, though still maintaining their physically weak posture, they use their Martial-Arts to help them with fights, most Injuns/Pakis are usually the same, just the Chinese Caucasian/Mediterranean counterpart and most of them immigrate and breed like Mexicans, not to mention Sikh parents being INCREDIBLY lazy, getting their poor kids to do all of their work, the Paki women are considered "attractive" most of which grow mustaches and fart and burp during meals.

[[Image:Muslims Honor Killings 03032014.jpg|thumb|right|A hayseed White Devil's opinion of how attractive a Paki woman is considered DESPITE his standards]]

*'''[[Injun|Native Americunts]]''': Uncivilized, primitive, slow-witted people who have "apparently" been here the WHOLE time, when it was shown in studies that they were immigrants from [[India|Asia]].
{{clear}}
<center>{{fv|americuntsvideos|background:white|font-weight:bold
|<big>'''I'm American'''</big> 
<youtube>HB780oK6F9M</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Teabonics - The Official Americunt Language'''</big></center> 
<youtube>g0rqQ1XM_2A</youtube>
|<center><big>'''What the Americunts Really Want'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4vK2kScsa2Q</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina'''</big></center> 
<youtube>lj3iNxZ8Dww</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Americans are NOT stupid - (with Subtitles)'''</big></center> 
<youtube>fJuNgBkloFE</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Tell it Motherfucker like it is!(a fuckin anti-americunt) </big></center> 
<youtube>jMzIlCHWd7I</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Insurance Company Bureaucrats Are Considered Sacred War Hereos'''</big></center> 
<youtube>LCm2WAjQZsc</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Why Americans are obese'''</big></center> 
<youtube>u4zw99VsoMA</youtube>
|<center><big>'''There are so many bald Americans because this guy [[nigger|stole]] all their hair and glued it to his face'''</big></center> 
<youtube>yG0oBPtyNb0</youtube>}}</center>

==[[Teenagers]]==
America is renowned for their youth, who are horndogs and stuck up asswipes that will rag on anything that doesn't relate to them, ie; [[Jocks|sports athletes]], preparatory school students, and the [[The beautiful people|prom queens]] (who will also be known as a prostitute). If sent to other countries, they will most likely fuck with average civilians, rape the local children and women, and ignite major war, causing massive [[lulz]], due to the fact that Americans always consider nuking [[Japan|countries]] a prime and final solution.

Like their parents, the youth of America are dumb, stupid, illiterate, weak minded, fickle, [[Hipster|trendsters]], and soon to be diagnosed with several [[Mental illness|mental aliments]], like "Alcoholism" and "Substance Abuse". At the ripe age of 6, the typical American kid will go to [[School|school]], being introduced to another kid's cool thing of toy they brought to school, like their older brother's CD of NiggerLispz or Pron, and then will abandon their childish youth, claiming it's "for losers" and will then follow into any lame category of subculture, like "Gamer", "Fucktard", "Jock", "Rich Asswipe", "Emo", or practically anything that MTV will throw out to make money out of. Soon, in high school, major shit ensues, like a [[School Shooting|school shooting]], fucking with the retards, and doing shit that's utterly wrong and then lying, "It's just a joke!" to get out of it. On average, over nine thousand percent of Rich and Beautiful teens usually get laid, and the rest get off STD, Baby and responsibility scott free due the [[Suburbs|Suburbia]] Nanny state laws. Anyone who usually doesn't is considered a [[You|loser]], but that's because that's in High School.

Also, don't be surprised if there's usually some news story about murder being conducted by a teen. It's always been like that. Greater analysts conclude the following will happen to the various groups of fuckheads both mentioned and not mentioned.

=="Americans"==
[[Image:American_citizens.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[Nazi|True American citizens expressing their beliefs]]]]
[[Image:Bush-threat.jpg|thumb|300px|DAMN! Beaten by [[Osama]] again!]]
*[[Canada]]: Part of [[North America]]. Also known as America's hat. Canadians sound like Americans but act like the English. Generally Canadians [[DO NOT WANT|do not like]] Americans, however Americans not named [[W]] or [[Dick Cheney]] and hippies love Canada for its safe haven laws when dodging the draft is needed and its liberal drug laws. Americans will often pretend to be Canadian when leaving America since leaving the gated-community that is the USA can result in severe blunt force trauma, being taken hostage and even death.
*[[Mexico]]: Known most popularly for being America's beard, and technically part of North America; but considered to be South America by all Americans ([[NAFTA|business purposes]] excepted) Mexico once included parts of what is now [[California]], [[Texas]] and other South Western states. It is populated by [[beaner|wannabe Americans]] who will do almost [[list of sex moves|anything]] from cleaning Americans' houses, landscaping Americans' lawns, picking Americans' produce to babysitting Americans' children for a slice of American Pie ([[Shit nobody cares about|and to repopulate their stolen land]]). [[Shit nobody cares about|Instead they get no respect, less than minimum wage and are hunted down like the rabid dogs they are by Immigration and Customs Enforcement]] and Lou Dobbs.
*[[South America]]: [[Irony|Ironically]] there are no Americans in South America. If an American travels to South America he/she is called a '''hostage'''.
*[[Israel]]: The fatherland of true American people. Three hundred millions of [[dumbfuck]]s on the other side of big pond are just a workforce to provide [[Jew gold|help]] to the race of masters.

==[http://imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Devolution] and the Nanny State==
Along with the rampant [[Religion|religious fervor]] currently sweeping the nation, things such as the growing -and increasingly violent- anti-[[abortion]] and [[Homophobia|anti-gay rights]] movements, the general mistrust of and disdain for [[science]] and continued calls to expand the scope of death penalty eligibility suggests that the American species appears to be 'devolving' -in effect [[evolution|evolving]] backwards at an alarming rate. [[Some argue]] that this is being hastened by the [[NORP|general public's]] overall willingness to accept a [[infantilism|'''"nanny state"''']], an ideal of sorts that has been gradually foisted upon them by their [[POS|elected officials]] since President Franklin D. Roosevelt invented the [[hugbox]] as a means to control [[Hobo|the great unwashed masses]] in the 1930s as part of his [[depression|New Deal]].

This also reveals one of the many [[batshit crazy|deep-rooted psychological problems]] inherent in America's collective national psyche since [[rape|taking it in the arse]] is integral for a nanny state to flourish. It can thus be deduced that the majority of Americans have a predilection for [[BDSM|acquiescence]] vis-a-vis [[The Man|their "nanny"]]'s strict governance, a masochism which is starkly evident when one looks at the almost [[asking for it|eager acceptance]] of the gradual erosion and [[pwn]]age of their much vaunted [[ED:TRU|Constitutional]], [[lulz|civil]] and [[human rights]].

Much of this [[YHBT|dog-like 'rolling over']] can bee attributed to what [[old media|scholars]] are fond of calling '''"The Dumbing-Down of America"''' (which should not to be confused with the extensive '''Idiot Proofing''' America went through after [[World War 2]]: Electric Boogaloo) but since that particular bottom of that particular barrel has long since been scraped, [[government|the 'nanny's]] attempts to 'dumb-down' the already dumb is akin to trying [[divide by zero|zero division]]. Rather, the current state of the American mind is more likely to be the result of [[retard|idle minds]] with too much time and money on their hands. After the stigma attached to being a slave/slave master was removed by [[Martin Luther King]]'s freeing of the 'textbook slaves' in the 1960s, the [[NORP|'wage slave']] or [[Mexican|'illegal immigrant']] were born and not only became affordable to anyone with a 'decent' job but they became the [[cool|"little black dress"]] of their day. Without mundane daily tasks such as housekeeping, shopping, driving and raising the kids to worry about, the average American could now stop sweating the small stuff and focus on [[rich and beautiful|living life to the max]].

However, without any challenges, the collective American mind began to stagnate and like a [[cripple]]'s atrophied limbs, today stands useless...a slave to the very people they enslaved to do the thinking for them.

Since losing self-sufficiency and resourcefulness to the [[poor|faceless masses]] (both domestic and [[Call Center|foreign]]) who maintain the status quo the [[NORP|average American]] now goes blithely through life assuming that things such as [[Pr0n|entertainment]], refrigeration, [[television]], [[telephone]]s, and the climate are (God) given or naturally occurring phenomena.

This can be [[IDIFTL|easily demonstrated]] by hiding every day items like remote controls and car keys from Americans or overloading a poorly maintained regional power grid during a heatwave until there are blackouts. When faced with the loss of electricity, Americans will walk around like [[zombie|chickens with their heads cut off ]] until '''someone else''' fixes it since finding solutions to every day problems and implementing them have long since been outsourced to '''other people'''.

==Americunt mind==
[[Image:Nathans_commercial.jpg|thumb|Despite the appearance of a 'protest', this is actually an endorsement for Americunt gluttony]]
Americans take much of every day life for granted. Most Americans believe things such as:
*Beer is self-cooling
*Cash rules everything around me
*Food isn't just nutritional, it's for fun.
*Household appliances are God-given and powered by Jesus.
*Ice cubes are a naturally occurring phenomenon.
*Like water, oil is a natural resource, it's free and unlimited
*The whole world has AC, potable water, and enough hot dogs for eating contests
*Everyone respects me because I have a gun
*Ann Coulter is a credible journalist

==Hobbies==
[[Image:Obesity-rate.jpg|thumb|LOL [[Fat|"Are you going to finish that...?"]]]]
Americans have a variety of hobbies including:
*[[BBQ]]
*Dog Fighting
*[[Eating]]
*Competitive Eating
*Frivolous Lawsuits
*[[Gaming]]
*[[Money|Shopping]]
*[[TV]]
*Getting [[troll]]ed by [[Eurofag]]s on [[b|/b/]] every weekend in the obligatory, ritual [[Eurofag]] vs. [[Americunt]] [[flame war]]s. Then losing whenever [[Eurofag]]s play the "[[China]] owns [[America]]" card.

==Sports==
[[Image:Fat fb player.jpg|thumb|[[Handegg]] "poster boy". Are you fat, talentless, devoid of any skill, or can't think for yourself? Fear not retard, this is the activity for you.]]
Apart [[Global Warming|raping the environment]], [[Internet tough guy|running their mouths]], [[Gaming]], [[Money|Shopping]], [[Television|Channel Surfing]], and [[fat|Competitive Eating]], there's nothing Americans like better than pwning, be it a [[Iraq|country]] (or "contry" in merkin), a [[English|language]] ("langage") or [[sport]]s ("sportz").

[[Soccer]] (pronounced: "football"), is the number one sport in the world in which skill is paramount, and is played by kicking a round ball around a pitch to score goals. Touching the ball with your hands results in a penalty. However, since Americunts are [[fat]] (need a break every five seconds), [[stupid]] (need to be told what to do in every play), [[Newbie|unskilled]] (notoriously bad at using their foot hence can only manage the easier task of using hands) it wasn't tailored for them and so resorted to another British game called '''rugby''' (but without the skill, and in tights) instead. American football AKA '''Gridiron''' is a boring, bizarre, stop start, unskilled, activity that caters for fat non-athletes who can't play sport. Only American [[Gay|"fat fairies in tights"]] play due to cultural obligation having invented it, [[LULZ|no choice]]. If Gridiron didn't suck, it would be played outside the nation it was invented where there is no cultural OBLIGATION...but no one does [[shit|because it blows]]. The only Gridiron league that hasn't collapsed like all the others outside America (the low profile CFL) was culturally imposed by Americunts on those poor Canadians, no one plays in Canada and its overrun with Americunts. A static, stop start snoozefest, if you accidentally stumble upon this crap you will inevitably shout [[Fail|"MOVE FFS"]] every twenty seconds before ending the misery and wisely flicking channel. Its so damn [[boring]] that cheerleaders are required: "Wake up people...yay GO TEAM...who's playing?". Every play is scripted, the fairies in tights get told what to do next and there is no innovation - "[[loser|no one thinks for themselves]]" - J.Cleese, as the coach tells the talentless fairies what to do every thirty seconds.."#77 move left, #45 move right, #32 wipe your ass with your left hand"...[[idiot|there is no thinking involved]]. While using the foot is more difficult and requires superior skill, NFL Gridiron as a bizarre activity devoid of any skillful moments "[[boring|the only creative thing are the beer commercials]]", as this crap sucks donkey balls. It's a kiddies game of bump (that's all ninety percent of these grown up fairies in tights and body armor do), the passer (there's only one...[[LULZ]]) gets multiple attempts as they keep [[loser|failing]]. A bemused Sting (like all of us) on this weirdo Gridiron crap - [[fail|"I don't get it, its like wrestling in crash helmets"]]. In a way its a pity Gridiron has zero interest outside North America, because talentless [[fat|ridiculed fat people]] from other countries who get excluded and left out of playing actual sports, would then have Gridiron to play.

Other Sports Americans Have Pwnt and Changed the Name of Include:
*'''[[Basketball]]''' -from '''Netball''': a game played by [[16-year-old girls|English school girls]]. (Basketball was invented by Dr. James Naismith, a Canadian.) Its played by [[Niggers|overgrown uncoordinated ghetto people]] with the easy as fuck task of placing a ball in an open hoop, as its 60 minutes back and forth of "[[fail|you score, no you score, no you score, no you score...ahhhhhhh fuck this shit]]"
*'''[[Baseball]]''' -from '''Rounders''': a game played by [[4kids|English school girls]]. The British invented baseball for small kids (like hopscotch, it ain't for adults), its played by [[poor]] fat people in [[retard|pajamas]]
*'''Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)''' -from '''Agro''': a game 'played' by rival English football hooligans.

==The Sport Machos==
*Died in a Drunk Driving session.
*Get caught up in a VT and literally die knowing they caused it
*Get raped in prison by Bubba because they like to drink a lot, or [[Rape|liked sex too much]]
*Get shot by the person they used to bully around with
*[[Handegg]] aka Gridiron, with its use of tights, body armor, under eye make up, fanny pack and helmet (and the [[list of sex moves|Quarterback Snap]] where one of the [[gay|"fairies in tights"]] mounts his mans "A" hole and shouts "hut hut" '''code for''': "preparing to enter"), this boring faggotry alien activity (that only sad weirdo [[Americans]] play because of cultural obligation having invented it) is the primary recruiting technique for young new homosexuals.
*Join the [[Army]], fuck some [[Afghanistan|Afghan]]s, [[Arab]]s and various [[Asia]]ns and then die from a Assault Rifle blowjob, either getting caught by the locals or on a raid
*Work in a shitty job because of their ability to take more steroids than the average person and therefore being good in sports and nothing else.

==Prepatory School Fags==
*Continued to breastfeed off of Mummy and Duddy, and died [[An Hero|an hero]] because they couldn't afford anymore "Mall Rat Training Sessions".
*Died [[an hero]] while at his post-college institution, because they couldn't get to party
*Died in a drunk driving session.
*Died in a hazing "accident"
*Fucked a chick while in a [[College|frat]], and is now being [[Rape|fucked]] with.
*Now a person who owes money to the local Mafia, and will not be seen until [[Next Thursday]], in a trunk, crushed car, or in the latest trend, cement [[shoes]].
*Now Bubba's latest girlfriend because of his lulz worthy attempt to kill his parents for insurance money and then move off to Amsterdam to open up a pot shop.

==Inventions==
*<s>[[Slavery]]</s> Read your history books. The [[Islam|Arabs]] start that chain.
*<s>[[Genocide]]</s> There were people in Asia making the first white man to kill a Native American look like an amateur because they had already been doing it for thousands of years in places like [[China]] The word [[Genocide]] is sn American invention and was coined by [[Jew|Raphael Lemkin]] {{Jew}}
*[[Burger King]]
*[[Fat|Obesity]]
*[[Ebonics]]
*<s>[[Electricity]]</s> Wrong. The first practical system for generating electricity, the Voltaic Pile, was invented in [[Italy]]
*[[Electricity|<s>The Lightbulb</s>]] Actually invented by British scientist Warren de la Rue. Since it used a Platinum filament it wasn't cost effective. Edison merely improved upon the design.
*[[Electricity|The AC Power Generator]] Actually an American invention. Created by Mad Scientist great [[Nikola Tesla]]
*The Electric Guitar (to make their stupidity be heard halfway through the city)
*[[Comic book fans|<s>Comic Books</s>]] Actually the first graphic novel was published in England.
*[[Video games]] What a surprise. Another thing that is responsablefor making kids fat is an American invention
*<s>[[Scientology]]</s> Actually ripped off in part from ideas by English [[Satanist]] Aleister Crowley
*[[TonyTigerGate|Peanut Butter]] Another fattening food. What a surprise.
*Friendly fire (shooting your own allies in the back out of your own stupidity)
*Fragging (blowing up your own officers out of ''their'' own stupidity)
*Grandma porn
*[[McDonald's]]
* 97% of the worlds retards (see: ''[[wigger]]'' and ''[[wapanese]]'')
*The global financial crisis
*The Internet, via a series of Tubes (see: ''[[Al Gore]]'')
*[[Global Warming]]
*[[Hipster|Science Du Jour]]
*?
*??
*???
*????
*?????
*??????

==War==
[[Image:Will work for armor.jpg|thumb|You should have been a gay [[handegg]] player then.]]
[[Image:OMGbags.jpg|thumb|[[Milk Bags|This is a fact.]]]]
[[Some argue]] that American soldiers are as [[Retard|thick as two short planks]], while others would say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], making them even more retarded. The U.S. and A are decidedly the only nation in the world that always fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]]. However Americunts are so stupid they'll fight this under the illusion of something [[they]] call '[[freedom]]'. This idea of 'freedom' is in fact a dirty lie spread by the Jews, some argue to get Israel, more people say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], therefore making Americunts fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]] of jews and even more retarded than [[you]].
What everyone can agree on however, is that if you joined the US [[Army]], [[Military#Navy|Navy]], [[Military#Marines|Marines]] or [[Military#Air Force|Air Force]] after the invasion of [[Iraq]] you're either a [[school|high school]] drop-out with no future, a [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/07/28/eveningnews/main3107316.shtml?source=mostpop_story gang member], a [[criminal]] and/or a fucking moron and are quite deserving of everything you're whining about ([http://freeinternetpress.com/story.php?sid=13293 currently, not having Internets at the front lines]).

Trained entirely on [[video games]] like [[Grand Theft Auto]] within the sterile bubble that is America, these youngsters have a keen sense of reality, other [[culture]]s and fair-play however, Most Americans team with Jews to plot numerous attacks on their [[9/11|own buildings]]. This is [[Lie|untrue]] and they will [[argue]] that the [[Muslim]]s [[I did it for the lulz|did it]]

Americunts will also insist that the United States Air Force is without question the best in the world, even though incidents like those shown in the video below happen at least twice a second. This is probably because Americunts who join the USAF desperately aspire to be [[Tom Cruise]] in '''Top Gun'''. Even though Top Gun is about the Navy.
 
{| align="center" style="padding:5px;"
|<center><big>'''Friendly Fire Cockpit Video Iraq 2003'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4I6-2NJhnf4</youtube>
|}
 
Americans are excited about their soldiers and like to cover their cars with [[gay]] yellow ribbon stickers proclaiming this. Americans however, do not like paying higher taxes for soldiers' weapons, pay, armour, tools, health care, and education. Five years from now our streets will be awash with IED style brain damaged vets with PTSD and maimed bodies. The first thing they will do is kill and eat all of our Vietnam vets. Then they will come for the Jews]

{{cs|Americunts|Americunts in England (Europe) - A tourist's guide|
England and the Americunt have a long standing, gay relationship. England was bummed by a bush over 9,000 times. Many Americunts visit England, as many of our children do, to return to the Eden of developed life on Earth.

In the Adam and the Ants track 'Kings of the Frontier', Adam sings "I feel beneath the white, there is a redskin suffering, from centuries of taming". This is of coarse incorrect with regards to Americunts, who all have Brits inside their inner an-hus sanktomb holes, eating away at them like an itchy prostate cancer they can't scratch. Evidenced by how so many Americunts have some obscure fraction of someone living in the UK or Ireland within their family history, and won't shut up about it. No one in Europe is proud of being related to the Americunt and no one mentions it if they are.

Americunts unable to leave Amma-reeka, scared that they'll be raped t' fuck by everyone in Europe upon arrival, produce overblown stories regarding the poor industrial, economic or military power of Europe and the superiority of the US, so as to convince themselves they are correct to remain isolated and not visit a single other country or experience one other vista on existence within their lifespan, dripping away. This may extend to criticizing dental reg-eye-mays, how sexually appealing the girls are or how straight the boys are in England, whilst sporting their curiosly circumcised peni design to get on good with the boys in the soapy shower rooms of their homeland. And whilst simultaneously wanting to fuck the living shit out of the super hotties in Europe, untainted by Mc Donalds induced obesity and cosmetics or surgery as they are.

Americunts are INTENSELY paranoid of being in Europe, as they have all seen Hostel and believe it's a documentary. This seemingly humorous statement is FACT. The author has direct, personal experience of Americunts in England.

"Don't take that, that's how they get you!" he heard from an Americunt in reponse to someone handing out flyers for a bar. This may be why the intuitive sense of an Americunt is to bomb the fuck out of everything outside the US, regardless of the mondo red crosses painted all over it and guys running around in bright white uniforms covered in red crosses.

Americunts typically can't point to England on a map, and do not realize that Ireland, Scotland and Wales are not England. Or that some of these regions have a deep hatred of being referred to as England. Americunts do not realize that the US supplied the IRA (from Ireland) with weapons, and that the IRA are effectively the Taliban of the UK. They've set off 2000lb bombs around London and seriously fucked shit up. They are also lying little paddy fuckwits that continually change their minds regarding ceasefires. Even the Irish are getting pissed off with them.

Americunts do not realize that a gigantic number of places in the US are actually named after places in the UK. Or that Central Park is a copy of the first public park, Central Park in Birkenhead, UK (DANGER, AMERICUNT! EXTREME CHAV CONTAMINATION ZONE!).

It is a well known fact that every Americunt secretly wishes to live in England on an estate, shotgunning poor people from their balcony whilst sipping tea (putting milk in fruit teas, making it split, not realizing that is not 'tea') and eating strawberries; as per their view of everyday life in England. Modonna herself has begun living this capitalistic, monarchy derived delusion in the UK. This does not help [[British]] / Americunt relations. We don't want her nasty chicken ass polluting England. Please, take her back.

Americunts visit York and believe it to be an accurate depiction of the [[British]]; when it is in fact an 'artificial museum', similar to Florida, but based on ye olde reality. This belief can lead to problems when visiting more realistic [[chav]] infected zones within the UK, which are both numerous and include London and York, the two tourist centres of the UK. York in particular has a strong hatred of the outsider and the BNP (the UK equilivant of the KKK, but targeted towards anything with a foreign accent or tan (themz typez)), has a significant number of supporters in this area. It can be quite a remarkable change in attitude given that many Americunts will be traveling to York from London, where tolerance of the foreigner is high at the latter. Americunts will wear T-shirts or hats featuring something to do with London printed on them and then travel to the north. This is not a good idea. Only the Japanese may not only look cool but also get away with this.

'Those types' of ne'er do wells are easy to spot in the US. They are in biker gangs or fucked off their tits on meth. They are also easy to spot in the UK, yet few Americunts appear willing to spend five minutes familiarizing themselves with the [[chav]] articles and similar, such that they may learn to identify potential risk factors upon visiting. Instead choosing to wear $2000 cameras around their necks in rough estates, assuming the blistered tarmac, broken glass and number plates scattered around them are quaint.

Americunts assume that because the UK has gun control, they are safe to [[asking for it| ask for it]]. In reality, if the UK released it's gun control laws, it would bring about Chavageddon, the new era of darkness. (Sort of like America, only the gang-bangers don't make any real money)

The [[British]] is essentially backwards to the US. Replace north with south. Unless an Americunt is genuinely a gangster and has genuinely grown up in a shitty environment thinking throwing up drugs is the way of things, it must take care of it's mouth and possessions around the north; particularly if it has a tan or strong accent.

The [[British]] has a serious problem with alcohol. The Americunt is considered a faggot if it is sick after ten pints of 9% larger in under an hour. Teens routinely drink 3l of 9% cider. As such, it is common to see mounted police and riot vans around on Friday and Saturday nights. Americunts will engage in nay saying about the [[British]] online, but engaging in this when confronted by a [[chav]] may result in an assault or mugging. [[Chavs]] typically operate in worryingly large gangs, unable to act alone, and will carry knives. Tens of them will immediately decloak and materialize from the concrete surroundings upon identifying a victim or sensing any foreign vulnerability, or just for the fun of scaring the Americunt. They will target Americunts lecturing on dental hygiene that have also not brushed their cosmetically bleached teeth in the last month. Americunts are commonly obese and stink, rendering them detectable from a large distance by the [[chav]]. Get a wash.

Due to their inability to be honest about their feelings without tranquilizing quantities of alcohol within them and the Americunt's unfamiliarity with this level of religious intoxication, they will assume a [[British]] is being honest when not drunk. Fail.

The [[British]] almost always use sarcasm as a sense of humor. The Americunt can reverse what they're actually hearing to define the truth.

The Americunt MUST attempt to lower the volume of it's universally fucking annoying voice in public areas and remove 'bum-bags' or 'fanny packs'. Do not refer to you ass as your fanny. Do not engage in arguments about wars or gun control around areas selling alcohol or up north. Do not discuss the imperial system of measurement around drunk or sober [[British]]. We invented it. It's shit. And the Americunt is shit for thinking it's better than the, French, metric system. DO engage in imperial if talking to a London based street merchant or someone over the age of 60.

Similar rules apply when visiting the rest of Europe; e.g. in hotter countries around Europe (like Italy), replace [[chavs]] with gypsies. They will have a cup and ask you for change. Put your hands on your money and walk away. There's a good chance the Americunt is about the be pick pocketed. The Americunt is uber wise to try and broaden it's horizons, but must not assume Europe is Disney Land. It is perfectly safe, but please dont [[asking for it|ask for it]] from our scummers.|0}}

==Things Americans Hate==

# World peace and tranquility.
# Taking their [[Gun control|guns away]].
# Maps.
# [[European]] football.
# The Native Americans.
# Taking their [[McDonald's|burgers]] away.
# Health and fitness.
# Books and reading.
# [[Niggers]].
# Traveling.
# Getting an education.
# Passports.
# [[Michael Moore]].
# Socialism.
# Communism.
# [[Muslims]].
# Reminding them they didn't "win" the [[World War II|Second World War]] single-handedly and that [[Truth|the Allies would have defeated Germany without their help]].
# Homosexuals.
# The [[British]].
# Quality beer.
# Gyms.
# The Middle East (''with the exception of [[Israel]], obviously'').
# Gas prices.
# The [[Canadians]].
# Eating healthy foods.
# Exercising.
# Edward Snowden.
# Libraries.
# The [[Russians]].
# Cutting the financial funds for their military.
# The [[Japanese]].
# Not sticking their noses in other countries' affairs.
# Diets.
# Schooling.
# The [[Germans]].
# Cuba.
# America.
# Respecting other cultures and countries' beliefs.
# [[Pedobear]].
# Watching sex in movies.
# [[You]].

==Myths and Truths==
[[Image:Fallingdown.jpg|thumb|An average American on his way to the office, minus the fat]]
*All own guns and use them for shooting [[nigra]]s and [[queer]]s. (Wrong. They are for pwning Bambi's mom and dad.)
*Americans are so stupid that if you bring up '''The Battle Of Devolution''' in a history class that they'll think you're refrencing 1970's New Wave, electronic music.
*Are so stupid that they'll declare war on smoking tobacco but somehow can find ways to rationalize smoking [[weed]], vaping or even chewing tobacco.
*America is the center of the world. When your for shit European or third world country can influence the world by how strong its currency is doing then you can call this simple American Nationalism and arrogance.
*Are alleged to smell like cheese burgers and arrogance.
*Americans claim that their military is Akin to G.I. Joe and fighting for their freedom. (Wrong. Their military is for satisfying their Jew government's conquest. Their government's been taking away their freedoms as more and more soldiers are sent to be wormfood.)
*Americans look like how they are portrayed in [[Hollywood]]. (Wrong. 99.9% of Americans are fat ugly cunts who fail at life, the rest are also fat and ugly but have teh moneys for plastic surgery.)
*Always wear plaid on vacation in [[Europe]]. (So please keep them.)
*Visit Europe and go to a High Class restaurant in Paris wearing sweats. [[Muslim|Muslims]], the next time you riot we'll look the other way if you take a couple of these out.
*Are all [[fat]] and greedy. (Only about 110% are fat and greedy.)
*Most can't do one pull-up.
*Are so obsessed with their race because of their mud origins of fucking [[nigger]]s, Indians, [[Mexican]]s and the [[China|Chinese]] that they'll spend $500 for a gene test to discover their origins.
*Invented Father's Day just to [[troll]] the niggers.
*Are evil and will eventually [[pwn|destroy]] the world. (Correct. Research the predicted effects of nuclear weapons from before they tested the first one.)
*Are [[Glenn Beck|loud and vulgar]]. (Particularly the 13 year olds.)
*Are obsessed with [[attention whore|dentistry and cosmetic surgery]]. (See also: [[attention whore|The War on Cavities]])
*Are so fucking lazy that they fight over who should take the trash out [[Fat|due to the gargantuan amount they eat]].
*Are the leading cause of [[Global Warming]]. (Though we all know this is really the fault of the jews)
*Are the sad result of what happens if you mix all european races together and add some niggas to make it more colourful
*Are [[retard|uneducated]] and easily fooled -more than once (see: [[W]]).
*Believe that [[South Africa]] is the only place left with [[Apartheid]] when they fail to look on their own backyard.
*Brought the world such wonderful mordern blessings like [[crack]], [[Meatspin.com|tranny porn]] a.k.a [[Transgender|Madonna]] and [[Homosexuality|The Village People]].
*Claim to hate their country as much as everyone else to gain acceptance from the rest of the world (See also: [[Fail]])
*Everytime you think they can't get any bigger asshole for president they'll prove you wrong. (Nixon -> Reagan -> [[W]] -> [[Barack Obama]])
*Fail at war and love using faggity, poor kids as bait. (see: [[Korea]], [[Vietnam]], [[Cuba]], [[Afghanistan]], [[Iraq]], [[Canada]]). (See also: [[Gay|The war on homosexuality]], the [[War on drugs]]) but the Bay of Pigs was a bunch of Cuban refugees. (see ''[[fucktard]]'')
*Assume everything [[Spanish]] is brown and Mexican.
*Assume everything [[Mexican]] is brown and speaks Spanish.
*Assume everything [[Middle Eastern|brown]] is Mexican and speaks Spanish.
*Know of the Second World War but are [[Spellcheck|surpised]] if you tell them there also was a [[World War I|first one]] too. Honest
*Upon learning of their involvement in WWI they will immediately assume America won it.
*Love [[Jews]]. (This relationship has been strained by the Jewish generated GFC because of the Jewish conspiracy making normal Americunts believe it's all the arabs fault)
*Ran out of the letters, ''''u'''' and ''''s'''' in the 18th century and will soon deplete the world's supply of ''''z''''s.
*[[Ruin]] everything they touch. (Just look at the Internet, and Liverpool Football Club)
*Will soon be renamed "The Chinese". Yay!!!1one!!
*Will sue anything that moves.
*Have the highest population of Manchildren in the world because parents are afraid to kick their kid's ass.
*Genuinely hate freedom, despite living in the self-proclaimed "Freest Country in the World".
*Wish they had a king or royals but will never have more than the desposed [[Hawaii]]an royal family and the crown jewels from Burger King.
*Are highly illiterate. (Much of this article demonstrates that fact.)
*America is one vast, urban slum. (Wrong: America is one vast, ''rural'' slum.)

==Trolling Americunts==
Trolling an Americunt is as easy as telling them the truth and things that actually make sense, then, watching them get mad.

*Ask them why they can't use proper English.
*Remind them how far behind their education system is compared to other nations.
*Tell them they are the fattest country in the world.
*Make fun of their shitty healthcare system.
*Explain to them that [[No shit|they ''aren't'' the best country in the world]].
*Tell them how much their beer and chocolate sucks compared to Europe's.
*Remind them they didn't invent apple pie.
*Say something negative about the United States military.
*And while you're at it, talk about their invasions in Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq and how many innocent civilians their soldiers have killed.
*Call them a "yank" to their face and start laughing.
*Harass and piss them off on X-Box Live.
*Laugh and make jokes about [[9/11]].
*Ask them if they own a passport and if they travel.
*Point out to them that they wouldn't have won the American Revolution without the help from [[France]] and other countries.
*Burn or piss on American flags.
*Tell them that [[Michael Moore]] is an honorable, dedicated American citizen.
*Fuck their ugly-ass women.
*Say something nice about [[Canadians]] and how much more civil they are.
*Say that USA is made from everything than Europe shits and puke.
*Tell them that the Russian military is more badass and can nuke them easily.
*Bring up their long and shameful history of slavery and genocide.
*Throw burgers at their faces.
*Talk about how [[Australia]] is so much better than the USA.
*Tell them that taxation is evil (It's like saying [[Muhammad]]'s a pig-fucker in [[Iran]])
*Tell them how much their ''football'' sucks.
*Just say "Fuck America!" or "America sucks!" It makes them mad which will generate great lulz.
*Tell them that the United States is NOT the entire fucking continent.
*Say that the [[9/11]] is the best thing that happened to mankind!
*Tell them you're a terrorist.
*Remind them when they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
*Say that God doesn't exist.
*Remind them how small their penises are.
*Tell them that America is not a free country. It'll be even better if you provide the proof, and there is plenty of it.
*Remind them how little they contributed to World War 1 and 2.
*Remind them of The Bay of Pigs and The Alamo.
*Ironically the American populace have total love and admiration for the British Welfare Princess Kate Middleton, more so than Jesus. Start calling her the "Welfare Princess".
*Disable the NSA spying device in your charter jet's bathroom so they can't see if your president is making out with Edward Snowden on the trip home to Bolivia.

==Why Americans Suck==

[[File:Antiusa.png|left]]

* They're [[fat]].
* They're a bunch of gun-slinging, bloodthirsty warmongers.
* In the 1940s they did a great sword hunt in Japan destroying these weapons so that a cult wouldn't build up around the ideas of Bushido that a Samurai is some kind of bullet dodging demon that can cut tanks in half with a single slice of their sword that would stall the rebuilding and modernisation of Japan with revolutions and uprisings. Then come 40 years later their grandchildren worship the Japanese for these same cult ideas of a Samurai being some kind of immortal god that can catch bullets in their hands because of [[Animu]].
* They're stupid as shit.
* Most of them can't find [[England]] on a fuckin' map or even their own fucking state.
* They can't even find [[Italy]] even when you first point to the Mediterranean Sea and say it's bordered by it and looks like a boot.
* They're rude and loud as fuck.
* Their nation was founded on slavery, racism and genocide.
* They continue to butcher, rape and bastardize the English language (and speaking of which that's ''bastardise,'' you dumb cunt!).
* Most can't even name all 5 great lakes (HOMES) or know that Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake that doesn't border [[Canada]]
* Most can't even name the river that divides the U.S. into East and West
* Will actually argue with you that all rivers flow south because of [[Gravity]]
* They think they're [[Bullshit|the best people on the fucking planet]].
* Their healthcare system sucks.
* They bow down to the [[Jews|J00z]].
* They're obsessed with guns.
* Their cops are trigger-happy, racist motherfuckers.
* Most of them are ugly, obese hogs.
* They invaded [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan]] and killed many innocent civilians for the oil and the lulz. The lulz we can respect.
* They can only speak one language as they're too unintelligent and lazy to learn to speak it right or be bothered to learn others.
* They created [[McDonald's]].
* They send their soldiers to go out killing people in the Middle East, and then worship and hail them as honorable heroes.
* They have no unique or extraordinary culture; the majority of so-called "American culture" is ripped off from other cultures in other countries and the original culture and cultural inovations they do have are Southern, Black creations like Jazz and the Blues and are often ignored until someone like Elvis or Eric Clapton comes along and cleans it up enough for mainstream, white audiences.
* They created [[W]] and voted for him twice.
* They created [[Obama]] and voted for him, also twice.
* They eat too much.
* They made [[Twilight]].
* They invented rap music.
* They let the Chinese produce their shit.
* Their country is too fucking big to travel through as it takes hundreds of miles just to drive from state-to-state. Make sure you don't pass out from exhaustion and boredom at the wheel while you're driving endlessly on the highways!
* They're the birthplace of [[WalMart]].
* Their food is greasy, fattening and gross.
* And because of all these reasons, not enough of them got pwnt on [[9/11]].
* Their government is corrupt and run by fucked up politicians.
* They steal your oil.
* They celebrate Thanksgiving even though they massacred the Natives, people who've inhabited the country for [[Over 9000]] years.
* Most of their music is crap.
* They produced Kim Kardashian.
* Two words, Bruce Jenner
* They will proudly claim that no foreign power has ever invaded the U.S. conviently forgetting about how England Pwned the White House in 1812
* Most of them don't know they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
* They're always sucking [[Israel]]'s <s>giant</s> small cock.
* They're always licking England's royal family's ass like they have any influence in America.
* They actually think [[BBC]] news is completely objective and has no bias.
* They make shitty, overdone movies full of propaganda. Need proof, how come a holocaust movie almost always wins an oscar.
* They joined [[World War II]] too late.
* They joined [[World War I]] way too late.
* Talking about [[World War I]], they bought weapons from the [[France|French]]. The fucking FRENCH
* Since we brought up the [[gun|Chauchat]], that mistake called the M16 in the 60s trying to replace the much superior M14
* They are so lazy about supporting their arts that the majority of who they consider their greatest writers like Ernest Hemmingway and Gertrude Stein got their starts in Europe.
* They speak in the most boring, bland and uninteresting accents ever known to man.
* They have a long, shameful history of treating [[Niggers|brown people]] like shit.
* They drug their kids up with [[Ritalin]] but they're still fat as hell because parents are selling their prescriptions to their trailorpark neighbours.
* They'd rather worry about the poor in foreign country shit holes than help people in the Appalachians
* They start meaningless, bullshit wars in the Middle East for profit, oil and lulz.
* They share the border with [[Canada]] (''and God knows [[Fact|that's bad enough!]]''').
* They also share the border with [[Mexico]] (''AND OMFGZ THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!'').
* Their beer is shit even though they claim they were created by [[Germany|German]] immigrants.
* The majority of them are religious freaks.
* And speaking of religious freaks, they produced the [[Westboro Baptist Church]].
* They like the [[French]] even though the French, in return, hate their guts and don't give a shit about them.
* They allow filthy, smelly illegal beaners from Mexico invade their country.
* Most of them are descendants from Germans (''aka'' '''[[Nazi|NAZIS]]''').

==Gallery==
{{cg||AmericuntsGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Americangenetics.jpg
Image:18 Times.jpg
File:Americunts Racialism.jpg
Image:Bin Ladin Hunt.jpg
Image:Morans.jpg
File:America Jewish Control 1980s styel.jpg
File:Fatblob.jpg
Image:Fox_News_Grin.jpg|Typical smarmy American
Image:Gore_Turd.gif|A typical American, talking shit
Image:Euro_v_USA_Thongs.jpg|Eurofags win again
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Anette-Paris the difference between.jpg|And again
Image:Columbus_Hay_Guys.jpg
Image:Soccerfag.jpg|Newborn Americunt.
Image:Its_The_Attitude_Stupid.gif|Typical Americunt listening to his [[Ipod]]
Image:American sonicfag.jpg|You can't get much worse than an American sonicfag
Image:Fat_American_whale_with_mayo.jpg| Typical [[fat]] American [[woman]] enjoying a light snack.
File:Burgers.jpg
Image:Muh_freedoms.jpg
Image:Pizza_-_American_Pastime.jpg|America's Favorite Pastime: Gorging Themselves Stupid
Image:Land of the free.gif
File:New Face Of America.jpg
File:Burger Assault.jpg
File:Americuntwalker.jpg
File:America Hypocrite Comic POL.png
Image:American bastard.jpg
File:Smashtheusa.jpg
File:Jewish American.jpg
File:Americunt Average 2017.png
File:Americunt Come And Take It.png
File:Americunt Pepsiman.png
File:Americunt Ugly.png
File:Murka is Wite.png
File:Americunt POL Mongrol.jpg
File:Fatyank.jpg
File:Sexyburgergirls.png
File:EUvsUS.jpg
Image:Triplets with american flag.jpg|American [[tits]]
File:DELET this.jpg|Typical piece of shit capitalist pig americunt's reaction to this page
Image:CarissaHads.jpg|In Soviet America, [http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/female-poses-as-male-789432 Girl on Internet] Rapes YOU!
Image:American artwork.jpg|An American self-sculpture in a foreign museum.
File:Burgersalute.gif
File:USmemesucks.jpg
Image:America, Fuck Yeah!.jpg|America? Fuck Yeah!
Image:American Video Games.jpg|Over [[Obesity|400 pounds of fat and lard!]]Evolution - American Evolution.jpg
File:BURGERBOMBING.jpg|Americans on holiday.
File:Americans In Their Natural Habitat.jpg
File:Sweatyfatpiecefoshit.jpg
Image:Murkan schools.png|[[No|Kids in American Schools are smart, aren't they?]]
File:Bombsforhitler.jpg
File:Americanshoppingexperience.jpg
File:Obamafaggot644.jpg|Modern leadership values
Image:Banditkeith.jpg|[[fact|All Americans are required to wear flags on their heads]] by LittleKuriboh. Anyone who breaks this law will spend the rest of their life watching {{ytlink|ZAPHWKZLelg|his Zoo Videos}}.
File:Burgerfaggotdude.png
Image:America_-_Hands_Free_Whopper_Holder.png
File:Staresinamerican.jpg
File:Happylittletbombs.jpg
File:Notfatjezmurkan.jpg
File:A1mericadotexe.jpg
File:Atypicalamerican.jpg|A typical American
File:Patriotard.gif
File:Fuckoffcommiefaggots.jpg
File:BURGER.jpg
File:REALamerican.jpg
File:Americanflag.jpg
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Rascal_Racers.jpg|You win the PRIZE, America!
File:Jesseosbornegun.jpg
File:News.png
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Waddle_Proud.jpg|Waddle proud!
Image:America_-_Patriotic_Eagle_Cosplay.jpg
Image:The president.jpg
File:Americadotexe.jpg
Image:America_-_American_Children.jpg|FUCK YEAH! :D
File:Burgerjew.jpg
File:Throneofusa.jpg
File:Googleamericans.jpg
File:Burgercomic.png
File:EssenseOfAmerica.jpg
File:Americanactivities.jpg
File:Gayptianmurka.jpg
Image:Amerimutt.jpg|This is what is behind the computer screen when you are called nonwhite.
</gallery>}}
{{clear}}

==See Also==
* [[America is Racist]]
* [[Anti-Americanism]]
* [[Asinine American]]
* [[Insane]]
* [[Jim Traficant]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]]
* [[Native Americans]]
* [[Pindos]]
* [[The Jewnited States of Americunts]]
* [[Why do you hate America?]]

==External Links==
* [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/incl/bbcpoll.pdf Why do they hate Americans?]
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Americans circa 2007]
* [http://www.americaisdoomed.com/ America is Doomed]
* [http://www.americanhypocrites.org/ This article/site perfectly illustrates why America is the VERY DEFINITION of hypocrisy!]

{{unitedstates}}

{{Timeline|Featured article September 4, [[2007]]|[[Burning Man]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Anti-ED-Club]]}}

[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Americunts

2025-01-07T02:25:46Z

Juiceoverflow:

[[Image:For God and Country.jpg|300px|right]]
[[File:Americans.png|thumb|right|300px|Americans prepare to mate]]
'''Americunts''', (also known as '''Americans''', when singular '''[[Impossible|A-merry-cunt]]''') are the fattest breed of animals on [[Earth]]. Americans frequently visit [[jailbaitgallery.com]] and are made from [[Statistics|80% fat, 20% propaganda, and 100% FAIL]]. Their women are epicly [[ugly]] and their men have tiny penises (Ranking lower on average than most people except Indians and other gooks). Americans are those who call [[USA|'''The United States of America''']] (pronounced "Murka") home. A veritable [[jenkem|melting pot]] of races, creeds and [[England|colours]], this sub-human offshoot of humanity has been rendered practically [[Terri Schiavo|brain-dead]] by being force-fed vast quantities of shitty materialistic [[crap|garbage]] and relentlessly beaten about the head with the [[Old Media|Stupid Stick]]. The whole game was rigged from the start to make americunts the dumbest most gullible fucktards in World History.

The world's opinion of Americans is that they are [http://www.voanews.com/english/2007-08-27-voa60.cfm morbidly obese], arrogant bullies who, being [[liberal]] [[white trash|hillbillies]] with a severe case of the stupid, act like they are [[Ferrari Guy|God's gift to the planet Earth.]] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDVg9uGtzJ4 This is how they greet each other] Meanwhile, the rest of the world [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/about/show_anti-americans.html hates America] with unfathomable intensity, which Americans have convinced themselves is [[Nice try|'jealousy.']]

It is often asked of Americans and non-Americans alike, "[[Why do you hate America?]]" and, although there are [[over nine thousand]] answers to this question, the main reason is that the only thing that stands between the [[Arab]] nations of the [[Middle East]] pushing [[Israel]] into the ocean (exactly like those [[nazi|genocidal, anti-semitic, land-theiving white people from europe]] pretending to be middle-eastern deserve) is the U.S. [[government]] and the American Public's [[BFF|undying support]] for the [[Jews]]. The Jews control were personally responsible for orchestrating the terrorist attacks on the [[9/11|world trade center]], in conjunction with the [[FBI]], [[DHS]], [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[W]].

Even the <s>[[nigger]]</s> <s>[[The_Donald|grifter]]</s> [[Joe_Biden|pedo]]</s> <s>[[The_Donald|grifter]] who runs America loves the Jews and supports the state of Israel, believing that Israel's existence is key to setting the stage for [[The Rapture]]. However, all Americans can identify with a nation built on faggotry, stolen land and the [[Pwn|subjugation]] of its [[Native Americans|savage Injun natives]].

Most importantly, it is a well-known fact that the IQ range of the general, ordinary American is [[retard|70 or lower]]; most folk with respectable levels of intelligence often flee to superior lands like yurop and get a STEM education there for free, instead of being subjugated to [[Over 9000]] trillion dollars of student loan debts from an American [[College]].

==The American People==
{{quote|The 100% American is 99% idiot.|George Bernard Shaw|actual quote}}

{{quote|hey fuck face, leave everybody alone. [[Typical|education don't matter worth a shit to me. i left school when i was seven]] and [[Lie|i make 5,000 bucks a month because i work hard.]] pussies like you don't know what hard work is. you can take yer precious education and shove it up yer ass and set fire too it. hard work and god is what makes the world go round, not education, and science, and politicians and goddamn sand niggers like you. click the X button at the corner of your screen for gods sake|JaredChastain1|Taken from a johnny rebel video on jewtube, and a perfect example of the typical NASCAR watching retard americunt}}

[[File:Genericamerican.jpg|thumb|right|What americans look like, according to [[Japan]]]]
[[File:Ddtmom.JPG|thumb|right|[[Truth|What they look like in reality]]]]
Poll after poll has shown that [[everyone|the majority]] of Americans are [[Prove me wrong|illiterate morons]], as well as homicidal mouth-breathers with mommy-issues. The polls have revealed such [[lulz|gems]] as ([http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/05/0502_060502_geography_2.html amongst other things]) the fact that over 70% of Americans either don't believe in [[evolution]] at all or believe that evolution is part of [[God]]'s [[1337]] plan. More 'Murkins believe in angels than evolution and don't know where the fuck their own country is, and will constantly ask you why you do not think, act or believe the way they do. Polls also show that most American adults can't name the three branches of their government, are unaware of how many Senators their state has (much less name him/her/them) - as well as not knowing what the [[CIA|FDA]] is or does [http://www.townhall.com/columnists/JonahGoldberg/2007/08/01/too_uninformed_to_vote].

Recent polls revealed that every one in five Americans could not locate the United States [[facepalm|when shown a map]]. The other 4/5 apparently possess a [[map]], an atlas and/or [[LOL WUT|a clue]], but could not spell '''cat''' if you spotted them a '''c''' and a '''t'''. [[The Chaser]] has also demonstrated that most Americans cannot name a country beginning with the letter "U," though this is not significant, as the average American cannot name any country whose name is composed of more than three letters.

Americans are a social group of obnoxious [[white]] fucks who can be described as arrogant, crude, defensive, dumb, [[fat]], [[gun]] crazy, incredibly [[gullible]], [[ignorant]] (no awareness so ain't inhibited to behave like a [[fucktard]]), inbred, homicide junkies, lawsuit junkies, plastic surgery junkies, therapy junkies, lazy, loud, nasal accented, <s>blonde</s> châtain, stupid, terrified, uncivilized, uneducated wackos..."Can't solve personal issues without gun, [[lawyer]] or [[A frank discussion of mental illness|therapist]]" such [[stereotype]]s means Americunts merits their status as the most ridiculed weirdos on Earth.

The main reason they are so fat is that they are too stupid to chew their food, tearing off whole chunks of unhealthy processed meat and swallowing it whole.

== Americunts And Geneology ==

{{Quote|I don't see much future for the Americans ... it's a decayed country. And they have their racial problem, and the problem of social inequalities ... my feelings against Americanism are feelings of hatred and deep repugnance ... everything about the behaviour of American society reveals that it's half Judaised, and the other half negrified. How can one expect a State like that to hold together?|Adolph Hitler}}

Probably, the biggest problem with Americunts is this Eugenics hold-over from the 1920s and believing that origin means something special. 
Many of the Editors here at [[Awesome|ED]] are multi-national and are aware that such obsessions with genetics and origins don't exist in [[Europe]]. 
It's like one ED Editor said, "Do you know what a child who has two [[Russia|Russian]] immigrant parents calls himself in [[France]]? FRENCH! Not Russian-French but French." 
For some reason [[retard|Americunts]] find it G-D awful important to know their ethnicity down to a single percent like some natural ability for language or mathmatics comes with it and this is why DNA companies are making money hand over fist telling stupid Americunts their genetic origin for [[money|$1,000 a pop]] because their [[Nazi|secret racial pride]] needs to be reassured that they are all white. 
So long as a favored position can be earned through proof of a favored ethnicity, say Native American, in job applications, scholorships, loans and promotions Americunts will never break from this obsession and always be a hotbed for racially charged wars. 

The real joke here is not how these [[retard|Americunts]] call themselves [[Germany|German]], [[England|English]] or [[Greece|Greek]] but when they go to these countries and they're called stupid, Americunt fuckwits that think genetics equals a learned cultural experience because they actually believe they'll automatically fit in. 

== American Heritage ==
Europeans often find Americans repulsive, even just looking at them. There is a reason why. The melting pot of white American identity has been formed by the rejects of Europe. Peoples so subhuman they could only be accepting in a nation of foreigners. Here are a small selection of these races.

*'''[[English]]'''
English are bastards and subhumans disconnected from any wider civilization. The ones which left to America were at the lower end of this gene pool, radical Protestants who despised tradition, authority and god. These fuckjobs left to the US in their droves to have a new country to implement their idiocy and inspired the American Revolution, fuelled by their atheistic enlightenment ideas.

*'''Scots-Irish'''
Scots-Irish is a misleading name for this exiled tribe, being neither fully Scottish, Irish or human. They were banished from Scotland and England for being such worthless subhumans and sent to Ireland, where they were again banished and continued to America, the only place accepting of such a vile race. There they were known as "white barbarians" and their savagery became quite useful in the clearing of the native American tribes. They continue to live in Ireland where their chimp outs continue to this day, god only hopes they will someday be exterminated.

==Varieties==
There are many various nationalities slurring around in the gigantic melting pot that is murrika, fighting and [[sex|sexing]] each other incessantly, each a bastardization of that particular race, twisted and deformed by the ignorant fumes that surround the states and it's people. Below we have split these filthy degenerates into three categories.

*'''[[Niggers|Afro-Americunts]]''': Fresh off the slave boats, these knuckle-dragging excuses for humanity flopped onto the shores of murrika and were thrown into captivity by the whiteys before they could say "watermelon". Fast forward a breezy couple hundred years or so, and the weak sympathizer [[Abraham Lincoln]] sets the Afro-Cunts free into the wilderness of America, free to [[Awkward |mingle with the whitey's who had them wiping their pink little butts for a couple of decades]]. The blacks then proceeded to suck up urban hip-hop gang culture with their [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|moderately]] sized [[cock|brown hoovers]] and evolved into the retarded gang-bangers you now see populating all local Fried Chicken outlets. Roughly 90% of them were wiped out through black on black violent gun crime so not a huge threa-'''[[Black Jesus|oh shit they president now!!11''']]

*'''[[Mexicans|Latino-Americunts]]''': Sombrero wearing border jumpers, these hairy brown sweatbags managed to gain access to America squirt out enough tiny brown babies that the border patrol just thought [[Lazy|"fuck it, there's too many"]] and sat back down on their fat asses. The beaners then proceeded spread all across the Americas, farting tacos and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik&feature=related taking jerbs.] Many also went off to become Latino gangbangers, pimping out their rides and rolling around in checkered buttoned up shirts just generally pissing off the whole neighborhood. And some even escalated to the great heights of [[Sabu|a filthy haxor snitch.]]

*'''[[White Devils|Caucasian-Americunts]]''': Basically what happened when sophisticated [[English]] settlers came to the "Land of the free" and somehow gained an ear-piercing drawl of an accent, and lost half their IQ. [[incest|Inbred]] gluttonous flabs of war-mongering flesh, the white American strives to be everything you hate, plus the added bonus of a superiority complex. There are many types of white American, all of them horrific, but the main divider would most likely be wealth. Down in the dregs of society the deformed [[hillbilly]] fucks his sister and downs another can of pabst blue ribbon, luckily these dribbling excuses for humanity are killing themselves out with various ill-advised stunts and drunken truck driving. Then there are the rich and middle class, grinning soulless funda''mental'' Christians, that would gladly rip your intestines out and drink the gooey fluid before even beginning to consider a tax raise, or free healthcare.

*'''[[Sand Niggers|Arabian-Americunts]]''': Well, the dirty Middle-Easterns who have apparently betrayed their America-Hatin', Terrorist ancestors and have succumbed to our redneck lifestyle, most of these types act like Niggers and are always seen wearing [[Chav|fucking Adidas Tracksuits.]] And also most Arabs vary between Pastemonger Arabs and Nigger Arabs (common misconception being they're all brown) Lebanese, Iranians, Syrians, Algerians and Tunisians are practically White. The Lebanese looking like Dagos, act like Dagos (just ask Australia, Light Brown Arabs being; Jordanians, Egyptians, Iraqis and Moroccans and the darker browns being of Arabian Gulf Countries... Last and least the Nigger Arabs being the Sudanese.

*'''[[Asians|Azn-Americunts]]''': Fresh-off-the-coolie boats are these slanted-eyed motherfuckers who are always finding ways to Jew the White Man. The "Math Jews" are a manipulative, conniving, suggestive race who always appear to pass better IQ tests than the White People, surpassing with Math, Computer Studies, Violin practice, they also make better Doctors. Though most Inner-City educated slant-eyes have great tendency to act and dress and think like Niggers and be easily influenced by them, though still maintaining their physically weak posture, they use their Martial-Arts to help them with fights, most Injuns/Pakis are usually the same, just the Chinese Caucasian/Mediterranean counterpart and most of them immigrate and breed like Mexicans, not to mention Sikh parents being INCREDIBLY lazy, getting their poor kids to do all of their work, the Paki women are considered "attractive" most of which grow mustaches and fart and burp during meals.

[[Image:Muslims Honor Killings 03032014.jpg|thumb|right|A hayseed White Devil's opinion of how attractive a Paki woman is considered DESPITE his standards]]

*'''[[Injun|Native Americunts]]''': Uncivilized, primitive, slow-witted people who have "apparently" been here the WHOLE time, when it was shown in studies that they were immigrants from [[India|Asia]].
{{clear}}
<center>{{fv|americuntsvideos|background:white|font-weight:bold
|<big>'''I'm American'''</big> 
<youtube>HB780oK6F9M</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Teabonics - The Official Americunt Language'''</big></center> 
<youtube>g0rqQ1XM_2A</youtube>
|<center><big>'''What the Americunts Really Want'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4vK2kScsa2Q</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina'''</big></center> 
<youtube>lj3iNxZ8Dww</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Americans are NOT stupid - (with Subtitles)'''</big></center> 
<youtube>fJuNgBkloFE</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Tell it Motherfucker like it is!(a fuckin anti-americunt) </big></center> 
<youtube>jMzIlCHWd7I</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Insurance Company Bureaucrats Are Considered Sacred War Hereos'''</big></center> 
<youtube>LCm2WAjQZsc</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Why Americans are obese'''</big></center> 
<youtube>u4zw99VsoMA</youtube>
|<center><big>'''There are so many bald Americans because this guy [[nigger|stole]] all their hair and glued it to his face'''</big></center> 
<youtube>yG0oBPtyNb0</youtube>}}</center>

==[[Teenagers]]==
America is renowned for their youth, who are horndogs and stuck up asswipes that will rag on anything that doesn't relate to them, ie; [[Jocks|sports athletes]], preparatory school students, and the [[The beautiful people|prom queens]] (who will also be known as a prostitute). If sent to other countries, they will most likely fuck with average civilians, rape the local children and women, and ignite major war, causing massive [[lulz]], due to the fact that Americans always consider nuking [[Japan|countries]] a prime and final solution.

Like their parents, the youth of America are dumb, stupid, illiterate, weak minded, fickle, [[Hipster|trendsters]], and soon to be diagnosed with several [[Mental illness|mental aliments]], like "Alcoholism" and "Substance Abuse". At the ripe age of 6, the typical American kid will go to [[School|school]], being introduced to another kid's cool thing of toy they brought to school, like their older brother's CD of NiggerLispz or Pron, and then will abandon their childish youth, claiming it's "for losers" and will then follow into any lame category of subculture, like "Gamer", "Fucktard", "Jock", "Rich Asswipe", "Emo", or practically anything that MTV will throw out to make money out of. Soon, in high school, major shit ensues, like a [[School Shooting|school shooting]], fucking with the retards, and doing shit that's utterly wrong and then lying, "It's just a joke!" to get out of it. On average, over nine thousand percent of Rich and Beautiful teens usually get laid, and the rest get off STD, Baby and responsibility scott free due the [[Suburbs|Suburbia]] Nanny state laws. Anyone who usually doesn't is considered a [[You|loser]], but that's because that's in High School.

Also, don't be surprised if there's usually some news story about murder being conducted by a teen. It's always been like that. Greater analysts conclude the following will happen to the various groups of fuckheads both mentioned and not mentioned.

=="Americans"==
[[Image:American_citizens.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[Nazi|True American citizens expressing their beliefs]]]]
[[Image:Bush-threat.jpg|thumb|300px|DAMN! Beaten by [[Osama]] again!]]
*[[Canada]]: Part of [[North America]]. Also known as America's hat. Canadians sound like Americans but act like the English. Generally Canadians [[DO NOT WANT|do not like]] Americans, however Americans not named [[W]] or [[Dick Cheney]] and hippies love Canada for its safe haven laws when dodging the draft is needed and its liberal drug laws. Americans will often pretend to be Canadian when leaving America since leaving the gated-community that is the USA can result in severe blunt force trauma, being taken hostage and even death.
*[[Mexico]]: Known most popularly for being America's beard, and technically part of North America; but considered to be South America by all Americans ([[NAFTA|business purposes]] excepted) Mexico once included parts of what is now [[California]], [[Texas]] and other South Western states. It is populated by [[beaner|wannabe Americans]] who will do almost [[list of sex moves|anything]] from cleaning Americans' houses, landscaping Americans' lawns, picking Americans' produce to babysitting Americans' children for a slice of American Pie ([[Shit nobody cares about|and to repopulate their stolen land]]). [[Shit nobody cares about|Instead they get no respect, less than minimum wage and are hunted down like the rabid dogs they are by Immigration and Customs Enforcement]] and Lou Dobbs.
*[[South America]]: [[Irony|Ironically]] there are no Americans in South America. If an American travels to South America he/she is called a '''hostage'''.
*[[Israel]]: The fatherland of true American people. Three hundred millions of [[dumbfuck]]s on the other side of big pond are just a workforce to provide [[Jew gold|help]] to the race of masters.

==[http://imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Devolution] and the Nanny State==
Along with the rampant [[Religion|religious fervor]] currently sweeping the nation, things such as the growing -and increasingly violent- anti-[[abortion]] and [[Homophobia|anti-gay rights]] movements, the general mistrust of and disdain for [[science]] and continued calls to expand the scope of death penalty eligibility suggests that the American species appears to be 'devolving' -in effect [[evolution|evolving]] backwards at an alarming rate. [[Some argue]] that this is being hastened by the [[NORP|general public's]] overall willingness to accept a [[infantilism|'''"nanny state"''']], an ideal of sorts that has been gradually foisted upon them by their [[POS|elected officials]] since President Franklin D. Roosevelt invented the [[hugbox]] as a means to control [[Hobo|the great unwashed masses]] in the 1930s as part of his [[depression|New Deal]].

This also reveals one of the many [[batshit crazy|deep-rooted psychological problems]] inherent in America's collective national psyche since [[rape|taking it in the arse]] is integral for a nanny state to flourish. It can thus be deduced that the majority of Americans have a predilection for [[BDSM|acquiescence]] vis-a-vis [[The Man|their "nanny"]]'s strict governance, a masochism which is starkly evident when one looks at the almost [[asking for it|eager acceptance]] of the gradual erosion and [[pwn]]age of their much vaunted [[ED:TRU|Constitutional]], [[lulz|civil]] and [[human rights]].

Much of this [[YHBT|dog-like 'rolling over']] can bee attributed to what [[old media|scholars]] are fond of calling '''"The Dumbing-Down of America"''' (which should not to be confused with the extensive '''Idiot Proofing''' America went through after [[World War 2]]: Electric Boogaloo) but since that particular bottom of that particular barrel has long since been scraped, [[government|the 'nanny's]] attempts to 'dumb-down' the already dumb is akin to trying [[divide by zero|zero division]]. Rather, the current state of the American mind is more likely to be the result of [[retard|idle minds]] with too much time and money on their hands. After the stigma attached to being a slave/slave master was removed by [[Martin Luther King]]'s freeing of the 'textbook slaves' in the 1960s, the [[NORP|'wage slave']] or [[Mexican|'illegal immigrant']] were born and not only became affordable to anyone with a 'decent' job but they became the [[cool|"little black dress"]] of their day. Without mundane daily tasks such as housekeeping, shopping, driving and raising the kids to worry about, the average American could now stop sweating the small stuff and focus on [[rich and beautiful|living life to the max]].

However, without any challenges, the collective American mind began to stagnate and like a [[cripple]]'s atrophied limbs, today stands useless...a slave to the very people they enslaved to do the thinking for them.

Since losing self-sufficiency and resourcefulness to the [[poor|faceless masses]] (both domestic and [[Call Center|foreign]]) who maintain the status quo the [[NORP|average American]] now goes blithely through life assuming that things such as [[Pr0n|entertainment]], refrigeration, [[television]], [[telephone]]s, and the climate are (God) given or naturally occurring phenomena.

This can be [[IDIFTL|easily demonstrated]] by hiding every day items like remote controls and car keys from Americans or overloading a poorly maintained regional power grid during a heatwave until there are blackouts. When faced with the loss of electricity, Americans will walk around like [[zombie|chickens with their heads cut off ]] until '''someone else''' fixes it since finding solutions to every day problems and implementing them have long since been outsourced to '''other people'''.

==Americunt mind==
[[Image:Nathans_commercial.jpg|thumb|Despite the appearance of a 'protest', this is actually an endorsement for Americunt gluttony]]
Americans take much of every day life for granted. Most Americans believe things such as:
*Beer is self-cooling
*Cash rules everything around me
*Food isn't just nutritional, it's for fun.
*Household appliances are God-given and powered by Jesus.
*Ice cubes are a naturally occurring phenomenon.
*Like water, oil is a natural resource, it's free and unlimited
*The whole world has AC, potable water, and enough hot dogs for eating contests
*Everyone respects me because I have a gun
*Ann Coulter is a credible journalist

==Hobbies==
[[Image:Obesity-rate.jpg|thumb|LOL [[Fat|"Are you going to finish that...?"]]]]
Americans have a variety of hobbies including:
*[[BBQ]]
*Dog Fighting
*[[Eating]]
*Competitive Eating
*Frivolous Lawsuits
*[[Gaming]]
*[[Money|Shopping]]
*[[TV]]
*Getting [[troll]]ed by [[Eurofag]]s on [[b|/b/]] every weekend in the obligatory, ritual [[Eurofag]] vs. [[Americunt]] [[flame war]]s. Then losing whenever [[Eurofag]]s play the "[[China]] owns [[America]]" card.

==Sports==
[[Image:Fat fb player.jpg|thumb|[[Handegg]] "poster boy". Are you fat, talentless, devoid of any skill, or can't think for yourself? Fear not retard, this is the activity for you.]]
Apart [[Global Warming|raping the environment]], [[Internet tough guy|running their mouths]], [[Gaming]], [[Money|Shopping]], [[Television|Channel Surfing]], and [[fat|Competitive Eating]], there's nothing Americans like better than pwning, be it a [[Iraq|country]] (or "contry" in merkin), a [[English|language]] ("langage") or [[sport]]s ("sportz").

[[Soccer]] (pronounced: "football"), is the number one sport in the world in which skill is paramount, and is played by kicking a round ball around a pitch to score goals. Touching the ball with your hands results in a penalty. However, since Americunts are [[fat]] (need a break every five seconds), [[stupid]] (need to be told what to do in every play), [[Newbie|unskilled]] (notoriously bad at using their foot hence can only manage the easier task of using hands) it wasn't tailored for them and so resorted to another British game called '''rugby''' (but without the skill, and in tights) instead. American football AKA '''Gridiron''' is a boring, bizarre, stop start, unskilled, activity that caters for fat non-athletes who can't play sport. Only American [[Gay|"fat fairies in tights"]] play due to cultural obligation having invented it, [[LULZ|no choice]]. If Gridiron didn't suck, it would be played outside the nation it was invented where there is no cultural OBLIGATION...but no one does [[shit|because it blows]]. The only Gridiron league that hasn't collapsed like all the others outside America (the low profile CFL) was culturally imposed by Americunts on those poor Canadians, no one plays in Canada and its overrun with Americunts. A static, stop start snoozefest, if you accidentally stumble upon this crap you will inevitably shout [[Fail|"MOVE FFS"]] every twenty seconds before ending the misery and wisely flicking channel. Its so damn [[boring]] that cheerleaders are required: "Wake up people...yay GO TEAM...who's playing?". Every play is scripted, the fairies in tights get told what to do next and there is no innovation - "[[loser|no one thinks for themselves]]" - J.Cleese, as the coach tells the talentless fairies what to do every thirty seconds.."#77 move left, #45 move right, #32 wipe your ass with your left hand"...[[idiot|there is no thinking involved]]. While using the foot is more difficult and requires superior skill, NFL Gridiron as a bizarre activity devoid of any skillful moments "[[boring|the only creative thing are the beer commercials]]", as this crap sucks donkey balls. It's a kiddies game of bump (that's all ninety percent of these grown up fairies in tights and body armor do), the passer (there's only one...[[LULZ]]) gets multiple attempts as they keep [[loser|failing]]. A bemused Sting (like all of us) on this weirdo Gridiron crap - [[fail|"I don't get it, its like wrestling in crash helmets"]]. In a way its a pity Gridiron has zero interest outside North America, because talentless [[fat|ridiculed fat people]] from other countries who get excluded and left out of playing actual sports, would then have Gridiron to play.

Other Sports Americans Have Pwnt and Changed the Name of Include:
*'''[[Basketball]]''' -from '''Netball''': a game played by [[16-year-old girls|English school girls]]. (Basketball was invented by Dr. James Naismith, a Canadian.) Its played by [[Niggers|overgrown uncoordinated ghetto people]] with the easy as fuck task of placing a ball in an open hoop, as its 60 minutes back and forth of "[[fail|you score, no you score, no you score, no you score...ahhhhhhh fuck this shit]]"
*'''[[Baseball]]''' -from '''Rounders''': a game played by [[4kids|English school girls]]. The British invented baseball for small kids (like hopscotch, it ain't for adults), its played by [[poor]] fat people in [[retard|pajamas]]
*'''Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)''' -from '''Agro''': a game 'played' by rival English football hooligans.

==The Sport Machos==
*Died in a Drunk Driving session.
*Get caught up in a VT and literally die knowing they caused it
*Get raped in prison by Bubba because they like to drink a lot, or [[Rape|liked sex too much]]
*Get shot by the person they used to bully around with
*[[Handegg]] aka Gridiron, with its use of tights, body armor, under eye make up, fanny pack and helmet (and the [[list of sex moves|Quarterback Snap]] where one of the [[gay|"fairies in tights"]] mounts his mans "A" hole and shouts "hut hut" '''code for''': "preparing to enter"), this boring faggotry alien activity (that only sad weirdo [[Americans]] play because of cultural obligation having invented it) is the primary recruiting technique for young new homosexuals.
*Join the [[Army]], fuck some [[Afghanistan|Afghan]]s, [[Arab]]s and various [[Asia]]ns and then die from a Assault Rifle blowjob, either getting caught by the locals or on a raid
*Work in a shitty job because of their ability to take more steroids than the average person and therefore being good in sports and nothing else.

==Prepatory School Fags==
*Continued to breastfeed off of Mummy and Duddy, and died [[An Hero|an hero]] because they couldn't afford anymore "Mall Rat Training Sessions".
*Died [[an hero]] while at his post-college institution, because they couldn't get to party
*Died in a drunk driving session.
*Died in a hazing "accident"
*Fucked a chick while in a [[College|frat]], and is now being [[Rape|fucked]] with.
*Now a person who owes money to the local Mafia, and will not be seen until [[Next Thursday]], in a trunk, crushed car, or in the latest trend, cement [[shoes]].
*Now Bubba's latest girlfriend because of his lulz worthy attempt to kill his parents for insurance money and then move off to Amsterdam to open up a pot shop.

==Inventions==
*<s>[[Slavery]]</s> Read your history books. The [[Islam|Arabs]] start that chain.
*<s>[[Genocide]]</s> There were people in Asia making the first white man to kill a Native American look like an amateur because they had already been doing it for thousands of years in places like [[China]] The word [[Genocide]] is sn American invention and was coined by [[Jew|Raphael Lemkin]] {{Jew}}
*[[Burger King]]
*[[Fat|Obesity]]
*[[Ebonics]]
*<s>[[Electricity]]</s> Wrong. The first practical system for generating electricity, the Voltaic Pile, was invented in [[Italy]]
*[[Electricity|<s>The Lightbulb</s>]] Actually invented by British scientist Warren de la Rue. Since it used a Platinum filament it wasn't cost effective. Edison merely improved upon the design.
*[[Electricity|The AC Power Generator]] Actually an American invention. Created by Mad Scientist great [[Nikola Tesla]]
*The Electric Guitar (to make their stupidity be heard halfway through the city)
*[[Comic book fans|<s>Comic Books</s>]] Actually the first graphic novel was published in England.
*[[Video games]] What a surprise. Another thing that is responsablefor making kids fat is an American invention
*<s>[[Scientology]]</s> Actually ripped off in part from ideas by English [[Satanist]] Aleister Crowley
*[[TonyTigerGate|Peanut Butter]] Another fattening food. What a surprise.
*Friendly fire (shooting your own allies in the back out of your own stupidity)
*Fragging (blowing up your own officers out of ''their'' own stupidity)
*Grandma porn
*[[McDonald's]]
* 97% of the worlds retards (see: ''[[wigger]]'' and ''[[wapanese]]'')
*The global financial crisis
*The Internet, via a series of Tubes (see: ''[[Al Gore]]'')
*[[Global Warming]]
*[[Hipster|Science Du Jour]]
*?
*??
*???
*????
*?????
*??????

==War==
[[Image:Will work for armor.jpg|thumb|You should have been a gay [[handegg]] player then.]]
[[Image:OMGbags.jpg|thumb|[[Milk Bags|This is a fact.]]]]
[[Some argue]] that American soldiers are as [[Retard|thick as two short planks]], while others would say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], making them even more retarded. The U.S. and A are decidedly the only nation in the world that always fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]]. However Americunts are so stupid they'll fight this under the illusion of something [[they]] call '[[freedom]]'. This idea of 'freedom' is in fact a dirty lie spread by the Jews, some argue to get Israel, more people say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], therefore making Americunts fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]] of jews and even more retarded than [[you]].
What everyone can agree on however, is that if you joined the US [[Army]], [[Military#Navy|Navy]], [[Military#Marines|Marines]] or [[Military#Air Force|Air Force]] after the invasion of [[Iraq]] you're either a [[school|high school]] drop-out with no future, a [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/07/28/eveningnews/main3107316.shtml?source=mostpop_story gang member], a [[criminal]] and/or a fucking moron and are quite deserving of everything you're whining about ([http://freeinternetpress.com/story.php?sid=13293 currently, not having Internets at the front lines]).

Trained entirely on [[video games]] like [[Grand Theft Auto]] within the sterile bubble that is America, these youngsters have a keen sense of reality, other [[culture]]s and fair-play however, Most Americans team with Jews to plot numerous attacks on their [[9/11|own buildings]]. This is [[Lie|untrue]] and they will [[argue]] that the [[Muslim]]s [[I did it for the lulz|did it]]

Americunts will also insist that the United States Air Force is without question the best in the world, even though incidents like those shown in the video below happen at least twice a second. This is probably because Americunts who join the USAF desperately aspire to be [[Tom Cruise]] in '''Top Gun'''. Even though Top Gun is about the Navy.
 
{| align="center" style="padding:5px;"
|<center><big>'''Friendly Fire Cockpit Video Iraq 2003'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4I6-2NJhnf4</youtube>
|}
 
Americans are excited about their soldiers and like to cover their cars with [[gay]] yellow ribbon stickers proclaiming this. Americans however, do not like paying higher taxes for soldiers' weapons, pay, armour, tools, health care, and education. Five years from now our streets will be awash with IED style brain damaged vets with PTSD and maimed bodies. The first thing they will do is kill and eat all of our Vietnam vets. Then they will come for the Jews]

{{cs|Americunts|Americunts in England (Europe) - A tourist's guide|
England and the Americunt have a long standing, gay relationship. England was bummed by a bush over 9,000 times. Many Americunts visit England, as many of our children do, to return to the Eden of developed life on Earth.

In the Adam and the Ants track 'Kings of the Frontier', Adam sings "I feel beneath the white, there is a redskin suffering, from centuries of taming". This is of coarse incorrect with regards to Americunts, who all have Brits inside their inner an-hus sanktomb holes, eating away at them like an itchy prostate cancer they can't scratch. Evidenced by how so many Americunts have some obscure fraction of someone living in the UK or Ireland within their family history, and won't shut up about it. No one in Europe is proud of being related to the Americunt and no one mentions it if they are.

Americunts unable to leave Amma-reeka, scared that they'll be raped t' fuck by everyone in Europe upon arrival, produce overblown stories regarding the poor industrial, economic or military power of Europe and the superiority of the US, so as to convince themselves they are correct to remain isolated and not visit a single other country or experience one other vista on existence within their lifespan, dripping away. This may extend to criticizing dental reg-eye-mays, how sexually appealing the girls are or how straight the boys are in England, whilst sporting their curiosly circumcised peni design to get on good with the boys in the soapy shower rooms of their homeland. And whilst simultaneously wanting to fuck the living shit out of the super hotties in Europe, untainted by Mc Donalds induced obesity and cosmetics or surgery as they are.

Americunts are INTENSELY paranoid of being in Europe, as they have all seen Hostel and believe it's a documentary. This seemingly humorous statement is FACT. The author has direct, personal experience of Americunts in England.

"Don't take that, that's how they get you!" he heard from an Americunt in reponse to someone handing out flyers for a bar. This may be why the intuitive sense of an Americunt is to bomb the fuck out of everything outside the US, regardless of the mondo red crosses painted all over it and guys running around in bright white uniforms covered in red crosses.

Americunts typically can't point to England on a map, and do not realize that Ireland, Scotland and Wales are not England. Or that some of these regions have a deep hatred of being referred to as England. Americunts do not realize that the US supplied the IRA (from Ireland) with weapons, and that the IRA are effectively the Taliban of the UK. They've set off 2000lb bombs around London and seriously fucked shit up. They are also lying little paddy fuckwits that continually change their minds regarding ceasefires. Even the Irish are getting pissed off with them.

Americunts do not realize that a gigantic number of places in the US are actually named after places in the UK. Or that Central Park is a copy of the first public park, Central Park in Birkenhead, UK (DANGER, AMERICUNT! EXTREME CHAV CONTAMINATION ZONE!).

It is a well known fact that every Americunt secretly wishes to live in England on an estate, shotgunning poor people from their balcony whilst sipping tea (putting milk in fruit teas, making it split, not realizing that is not 'tea') and eating strawberries; as per their view of everyday life in England. Modonna herself has begun living this capitalistic, monarchy derived delusion in the UK. This does not help [[British]] / Americunt relations. We don't want her nasty chicken ass polluting England. Please, take her back.

Americunts visit York and believe it to be an accurate depiction of the [[British]]; when it is in fact an 'artificial museum', similar to Florida, but based on ye olde reality. This belief can lead to problems when visiting more realistic [[chav]] infected zones within the UK, which are both numerous and include London and York, the two tourist centres of the UK. York in particular has a strong hatred of the outsider and the BNP (the UK equilivant of the KKK, but targeted towards anything with a foreign accent or tan (themz typez)), has a significant number of supporters in this area. It can be quite a remarkable change in attitude given that many Americunts will be traveling to York from London, where tolerance of the foreigner is high at the latter. Americunts will wear T-shirts or hats featuring something to do with London printed on them and then travel to the north. This is not a good idea. Only the Japanese may not only look cool but also get away with this.

'Those types' of ne'er do wells are easy to spot in the US. They are in biker gangs or fucked off their tits on meth. They are also easy to spot in the UK, yet few Americunts appear willing to spend five minutes familiarizing themselves with the [[chav]] articles and similar, such that they may learn to identify potential risk factors upon visiting. Instead choosing to wear $2000 cameras around their necks in rough estates, assuming the blistered tarmac, broken glass and number plates scattered around them are quaint.

Americunts assume that because the UK has gun control, they are safe to [[asking for it| ask for it]]. In reality, if the UK released it's gun control laws, it would bring about Chavageddon, the new era of darkness. (Sort of like America, only the gang-bangers don't make any real money)

The [[British]] is essentially backwards to the US. Replace north with south. Unless an Americunt is genuinely a gangster and has genuinely grown up in a shitty environment thinking throwing up drugs is the way of things, it must take care of it's mouth and possessions around the north; particularly if it has a tan or strong accent.

The [[British]] has a serious problem with alcohol. The Americunt is considered a faggot if it is sick after ten pints of 9% larger in under an hour. Teens routinely drink 3l of 9% cider. As such, it is common to see mounted police and riot vans around on Friday and Saturday nights. Americunts will engage in nay saying about the [[British]] online, but engaging in this when confronted by a [[chav]] may result in an assault or mugging. [[Chavs]] typically operate in worryingly large gangs, unable to act alone, and will carry knives. Tens of them will immediately decloak and materialize from the concrete surroundings upon identifying a victim or sensing any foreign vulnerability, or just for the fun of scaring the Americunt. They will target Americunts lecturing on dental hygiene that have also not brushed their cosmetically bleached teeth in the last month. Americunts are commonly obese and stink, rendering them detectable from a large distance by the [[chav]]. Get a wash.

Due to their inability to be honest about their feelings without tranquilizing quantities of alcohol within them and the Americunt's unfamiliarity with this level of religious intoxication, they will assume a [[British]] is being honest when not drunk. Fail.

The [[British]] almost always use sarcasm as a sense of humor. The Americunt can reverse what they're actually hearing to define the truth.

The Americunt MUST attempt to lower the volume of it's universally fucking annoying voice in public areas and remove 'bum-bags' or 'fanny packs'. Do not refer to you ass as your fanny. Do not engage in arguments about wars or gun control around areas selling alcohol or up north. Do not discuss the imperial system of measurement around drunk or sober [[British]]. We invented it. It's shit. And the Americunt is shit for thinking it's better than the, French, metric system. DO engage in imperial if talking to a London based street merchant or someone over the age of 60.

Similar rules apply when visiting the rest of Europe; e.g. in hotter countries around Europe (like Italy), replace [[chavs]] with gypsies. They will have a cup and ask you for change. Put your hands on your money and walk away. There's a good chance the Americunt is about the be pick pocketed. The Americunt is uber wise to try and broaden it's horizons, but must not assume Europe is Disney Land. It is perfectly safe, but please dont [[asking for it|ask for it]] from our scummers.|0}}

==Things Americans Hate==

# World peace and tranquility.
# Taking their [[Gun control|guns away]].
# Maps.
# [[European]] football.
# The Native Americans.
# Taking their [[McDonald's|burgers]] away.
# Health and fitness.
# Books and reading.
# [[Niggers]].
# Traveling.
# Getting an education.
# Passports.
# [[Michael Moore]].
# Socialism.
# Communism.
# [[Muslims]].
# Reminding them they didn't "win" the [[World War II|Second World War]] single-handedly and that [[Truth|the Allies would have defeated Germany without their help]].
# Homosexuals.
# The [[British]].
# Quality beer.
# Gyms.
# The Middle East (''with the exception of [[Israel]], obviously'').
# Gas prices.
# The [[Canadians]].
# Eating healthy foods.
# Exercising.
# Edward Snowden.
# Libraries.
# The [[Russians]].
# Cutting the financial funds for their military.
# The [[Japanese]].
# Not sticking their noses in other countries' affairs.
# Diets.
# Schooling.
# The [[Germans]].
# Cuba.
# America.
# Respecting other cultures and countries' beliefs.
# [[Pedobear]].
# Watching sex in movies.
# [[You]].

==Myths and Truths==
[[Image:Fallingdown.jpg|thumb|An average American on his way to the office, minus the fat]]
*All own guns and use them for shooting [[nigra]]s and [[queer]]s. (Wrong. They are for pwning Bambi's mom and dad.)
*Americans are so stupid that if you bring up '''The Battle Of Devolution''' in a history class that they'll think you're refrencing 1970's New Wave, electronic music.
*Are so stupid that they'll declare war on smoking tobacco but somehow can find ways to rationalize smoking [[weed]], vaping or even chewing tobacco.
*America is the center of the world. When your for shit European or third world country can influence the world by how strong its currency is doing then you can call this simple American Nationalism and arrogance.
*Are alleged to smell like cheese burgers and arrogance.
*Americans claim that their military is Akin to G.I. Joe and fighting for their freedom. (Wrong. Their military is for satisfying their Jew government's conquest. Their government's been taking away their freedoms as more and more soldiers are sent to be wormfood.)
*Americans look like how they are portrayed in [[Hollywood]]. (Wrong. 99.9% of Americans are fat ugly cunts who fail at life, the rest are also fat and ugly but have teh moneys for plastic surgery.)
*Always wear plaid on vacation in [[Europe]]. (So please keep them.)
*Visit Europe and go to a High Class restaurant in Paris wearing sweats. [[Muslim|Muslims]], the next time you riot we'll look the other way if you take a couple of these out.
*Are all [[fat]] and greedy. (Only about 110% are fat and greedy.)
*Most can't do one pull-up.
*Are so obsessed with their race because of their mud origins of fucking [[nigger]]s, Indians, [[Mexican]]s and the [[China|Chinese]] that they'll spend $500 for a gene test to discover their origins.
*Invented Father's Day just to [[troll]] the niggers.
*Are evil and will eventually [[pwn|destroy]] the world. (Correct. Research the predicted effects of nuclear weapons from before they tested the first one.)
*Are [[Glenn Beck|loud and vulgar]]. (Particularly the 13 year olds.)
*Are obsessed with [[attention whore|dentistry and cosmetic surgery]]. (See also: [[attention whore|The War on Cavities]])
*Are so fucking lazy that they fight over who should take the trash out [[Fat|due to the gargantuan amount they eat]].
*Are the leading cause of [[Global Warming]]. (Though we all know this is really the fault of the jews)
*Are the sad result of what happens if you mix all european races together and add some niggas to make it more colourful
*Are [[retard|uneducated]] and easily fooled -more than once (see: [[W]]).
*Believe that [[South Africa]] is the only place left with [[Apartheid]] when they fail to look on their own backyard.
*Brought the world such wonderful mordern blessings like [[crack]], [[Meatspin.com|tranny porn]] a.k.a [[Transgender|Madonna]] and [[Homosexuality|The Village People]].
*Claim to hate their country as much as everyone else to gain acceptance from the rest of the world (See also: [[Fail]])
*Everytime you think they can't get any bigger asshole for president they'll prove you wrong. (Nixon -> Reagan -> [[W]] -> [[Barack Obama]])
*Fail at war and love using faggity, poor kids as bait. (see: [[Korea]], [[Vietnam]], [[Cuba]], [[Afghanistan]], [[Iraq]], [[Canada]]). (See also: [[Gay|The war on homosexuality]], the [[War on drugs]]) but the Bay of Pigs was a bunch of Cuban refugees. (see ''[[fucktard]]'')
*Assume everything [[Spanish]] is brown and Mexican.
*Assume everything [[Mexican]] is brown and speaks Spanish.
*Assume everything [[Middle Eastern|brown]] is Mexican and speaks Spanish.
*Know of the Second World War but are [[Spellcheck|surpised]] if you tell them there also was a [[World War I|first one]] too. Honest
*Upon learning of their involvement in WWI they will immediately assume America won it.
*Love [[Jews]]. (This relationship has been strained by the Jewish generated GFC because of the Jewish conspiracy making normal Americunts believe it's all the arabs fault)
*Ran out of the letters, ''''u'''' and ''''s'''' in the 18th century and will soon deplete the world's supply of ''''z''''s.
*[[Ruin]] everything they touch. (Just look at the Internet, and Liverpool Football Club)
*Will soon be renamed "The Chinese". Yay!!!1one!!
*Will sue anything that moves.
*Have the highest population of Manchildren in the world because parents are afraid to kick their kid's ass.
*Genuinely hate freedom, despite living in the self-proclaimed "Freest Country in the World".
*Wish they had a king or royals but will never have more than the desposed [[Hawaii]]an royal family and the crown jewels from Burger King.
*Are highly illiterate. (Much of this article demonstrates that fact.)
*America is one vast, urban slum. (Wrong: America is one vast, ''rural'' slum.)

==Trolling Americunts==
Trolling an Americunt is as easy as telling them the truth and things that actually make sense, then, watching them get mad.

*Ask them why they can't use proper English.
*Remind them how far behind their education system is compared to other nations.
*Tell them they are the fattest country in the world.
*Make fun of their shitty healthcare system.
*Explain to them that [[No shit|they ''aren't'' the best country in the world]].
*Tell them how much their beer and chocolate sucks compared to Europe's.
*Remind them they didn't invent apple pie.
*Say something negative about the United States military.
*And while you're at it, talk about their invasions in Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq and how many innocent civilians their soldiers have killed.
*Call them a "yank" to their face and start laughing.
*Harass and piss them off on X-Box Live.
*Laugh and make jokes about [[9/11]].
*Ask them if they own a passport and if they travel.
*Point out to them that they wouldn't have won the American Revolution without the help from [[France]] and other countries.
*Burn or piss on American flags.
*Tell them that [[Michael Moore]] is an honorable, dedicated American citizen.
*Fuck their ugly-ass women.
*Say something nice about [[Canadians]] and how much more civil they are.
*Say that USA is made from everything than Europe shits and puke.
*Tell them that the Russian military is more badass and can nuke them easily.
*Bring up their long and shameful history of slavery and genocide.
*Throw burgers at their faces.
*Talk about how [[Australia]] is so much better than the USA.
*Tell them that taxation is evil (It's like saying [[Muhammad]]'s a pig-fucker in [[Iran]])
*Tell them how much their ''football'' sucks.
*Just say "Fuck America!" or "America sucks!" It makes them mad which will generate great lulz.
*Tell them that the United States is NOT the entire fucking continent.
*Say that the [[9/11]] is the best thing that happened to mankind!
*Tell them you're a terrorist.
*Remind them when they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
*Say that God doesn't exist.
*Remind them how small their penises are.
*Tell them that America is not a free country. It'll be even better if you provide the proof, and there is plenty of it.
*Remind them how little they contributed to World War 1 and 2.
*Remind them of The Bay of Pigs and The Alamo.
*Ironically the American populace have total love and admiration for the British Welfare Princess Kate Middleton, more so than Jesus. Start calling her the "Welfare Princess".
*Disable the NSA spying device in your charter jet's bathroom so they can't see if your president is making out with Edward Snowden on the trip home to Bolivia.

==Why Americans Suck==

[[File:Antiusa.png|left]]

* They're [[fat]].
* They're a bunch of gun-slinging, bloodthirsty warmongers.
* In the 1940s they did a great sword hunt in Japan destroying these weapons so that a cult wouldn't build up around the ideas of Bushido that a Samurai is some kind of bullet dodging demon that can cut tanks in half with a single slice of their sword that would stall the rebuilding and modernisation of Japan with revolutions and uprisings. Then come 40 years later their grandchildren worship the Japanese for these same cult ideas of a Samurai being some kind of immortal god that can catch bullets in their hands because of [[Animu]].
* They're stupid as shit.
* Most of them can't find [[England]] on a fuckin' map or even their own fucking state.
* They can't even find [[Italy]] even when you first point to the Mediterranean Sea and say it's bordered by it and looks like a boot.
* They're rude and loud as fuck.
* Their nation was founded on slavery, racism and genocide.
* They continue to butcher, rape and bastardize the English language (and speaking of which that's ''bastardise,'' you dumb cunt!).
* Most can't even name all 5 great lakes (HOMES) or know that Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake that doesn't border [[Canada]]
* Most can't even name the river that divides the U.S. into East and West
* Will actually argue with you that all rivers flow south because of [[Gravity]]
* They think they're [[Bullshit|the best people on the fucking planet]].
* Their healthcare system sucks.
* They bow down to the [[Jews|J00z]].
* They're obsessed with guns.
* Their cops are trigger-happy, racist motherfuckers.
* Most of them are ugly, obese hogs.
* They invaded [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan]] and killed many innocent civilians for the oil and the lulz. The lulz we can respect.
* They can only speak one language as they're too unintelligent and lazy to learn to speak it right or be bothered to learn others.
* They created [[McDonald's]].
* They send their soldiers to go out killing people in the Middle East, and then worship and hail them as honorable heroes.
* They have no unique or extraordinary culture; the majority of so-called "American culture" is ripped off from other cultures in other countries and the original culture and cultural inovations they do have are Southern, Black creations like Jazz and the Blues and are often ignored until someone like Elvis or Eric Clapton comes along and cleans it up enough for mainstream, white audiences.
* They created [[W]] and voted for him twice.
* They created [[Obama]] and voted for him, also twice.
* They eat too much.
* They made [[Twilight]].
* They invented rap music.
* They let the Chinese produce their shit.
* Their country is too fucking big to travel through as it takes hundreds of miles just to drive from state-to-state. Make sure you don't pass out from exhaustion and boredom at the wheel while you're driving endlessly on the highways!
* They're the birthplace of [[WalMart]].
* Their food is greasy, fattening and gross.
* And because of all these reasons, not enough of them got pwnt on [[9/11]].
* Their government is corrupt and run by fucked up politicians.
* They steal your oil.
* They celebrate Thanksgiving even though they massacred the Natives, people who've inhabited the country for [[Over 9000]] years.
* Most of their music is crap.
* They produced Kim Kardashian.
* Two words, Bruce Jenner
* They will proudly claim that no foreign power has ever invaded the U.S. conviently forgetting about how England Pwned the White House in 1812
* Most of them don't know they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
* They're always sucking [[Israel]]'s <s>giant</s> small cock.
* They're always licking England's royal family's ass like they have any influence in America.
* They actually think [[BBC]] news is completely objective and has no bias.
* They make shitty, overdone movies full of propaganda. Need proof, how come a holocaust movie almost always wins an oscar.
* They joined [[World War II]] too late.
* They joined [[World War I]] way too late.
* Talking about [[World War I]], they bought weapons from the [[France|French]]. The fucking FRENCH
* Since we brought up the [[gun|Chauchat]], that mistake called the M16 in the 60s trying to replace the much superior M14
* They are so lazy about supporting their arts that the majority of who they consider their greatest writers like Ernest Hemmingway and Gertrude Stein got their starts in Europe.
* They speak in the most boring, bland and uninteresting accents ever known to man.
* They have a long, shameful history of treating [[Niggers|brown people]] like shit.
* They drug their kids up with [[Ritalin]] but they're still fat as hell because parents are selling their prescriptions to their trailorpark neighbours.
* They'd rather worry about the poor in foreign country shit holes than help people in the Appalachians
* They start meaningless, bullshit wars in the Middle East for profit, oil and lulz.
* They share the border with [[Canada]] (''and God knows [[Fact|that's bad enough!]]''').
* They also share the border with [[Mexico]] (''AND OMFGZ THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!'').
* Their beer is shit even though they claim they were created by [[Germany|German]] immigrants.
* The majority of them are religious freaks.
* And speaking of religious freaks, they produced the [[Westboro Baptist Church]].
* They like the [[French]] even though the French, in return, hate their guts and don't give a shit about them.
* They allow filthy, smelly illegal beaners from Mexico invade their country.
* Most of them are descendants from Germans (''aka'' '''[[Nazi|NAZIS]]''').

==Gallery==
{{cg||AmericuntsGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Americangenetics.jpg
Image:18 Times.jpg
File:Americunts Racialism.jpg
Image:Bin Ladin Hunt.jpg
Image:Morans.jpg
File:America Jewish Control 1980s styel.jpg
File:Fatblob.jpg
Image:Fox_News_Grin.jpg|Typical smarmy American
Image:Gore_Turd.gif|A typical American, talking shit
Image:Euro_v_USA_Thongs.jpg|Eurofags win again
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Anette-Paris the difference between.jpg|And again
Image:Columbus_Hay_Guys.jpg
Image:Soccerfag.jpg|Newborn Americunt.
Image:Its_The_Attitude_Stupid.gif|Typical Americunt listening to his [[Ipod]]
Image:American sonicfag.jpg|You can't get much worse than an American sonicfag
Image:Fat_American_whale_with_mayo.jpg| Typical [[fat]] American [[woman]] enjoying a light snack.
File:Burgers.jpg
Image:Muh_freedoms.jpg
Image:Pizza_-_American_Pastime.jpg|America's Favorite Pastime: Gorging Themselves Stupid
Image:Land of the free.gif
File:New Face Of America.jpg
File:Burger Assault.jpg
File:Americuntwalker.jpg
File:America Hypocrite Comic POL.png
Image:American bastard.jpg
File:Smashtheusa.jpg
File:Jewish American.jpg
File:Americunt Average 2017.png
File:Americunt Come And Take It.png
File:Americunt Pepsiman.png
File:Americunt Ugly.png
File:Murka is Wite.png
File:Americunt POL Mongrol.jpg
File:Fatyank.jpg
File:Sexyburgergirls.png
File:EUvsUS.jpg
Image:Triplets with american flag.jpg|American [[tits]]
File:DELET this.jpg|Typical piece of shit capitalist pig americunt's reaction to this page
Image:CarissaHads.jpg|In Soviet America, [http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/female-poses-as-male-789432 Girl on Internet] Rapes YOU!
Image:American artwork.jpg|An American self-sculpture in a foreign museum.
File:Burgersalute.gif
File:USmemesucks.jpg
Image:America, Fuck Yeah!.jpg|America? Fuck Yeah!
Image:American Video Games.jpg|Over [[Obesity|400 pounds of fat and lard!]]Evolution - American Evolution.jpg
File:BURGERBOMBING.jpg|Americans on holiday.
File:Americans In Their Natural Habitat.jpg
File:Sweatyfatpiecefoshit.jpg
Image:Murkan schools.png|[[No|Kids in American Schools are smart, aren't they?]]
File:Bombsforhitler.jpg
File:Americanshoppingexperience.jpg
File:Obamafaggot644.jpg|Modern leadership values
Image:Banditkeith.jpg|[[fact|All Americans are required to wear flags on their heads]] by LittleKuriboh. Anyone who breaks this law will spend the rest of their life watching {{ytlink|ZAPHWKZLelg|his Zoo Videos}}.
File:Burgerfaggotdude.png
Image:America_-_Hands_Free_Whopper_Holder.png
File:Staresinamerican.jpg
File:Happylittletbombs.jpg
File:Notfatjezmurkan.jpg
File:A1mericadotexe.jpg
File:Atypicalamerican.jpg|A typical American
File:Patriotard.gif
File:Fuckoffcommiefaggots.jpg
File:BURGER.jpg
File:REALamerican.jpg
File:Americanflag.jpg
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Rascal_Racers.jpg|You win the PRIZE, America!
File:Jesseosbornegun.jpg
File:News.png
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Waddle_Proud.jpg|Waddle proud!
Image:America_-_Patriotic_Eagle_Cosplay.jpg
Image:The president.jpg
File:Americadotexe.jpg
Image:America_-_American_Children.jpg|FUCK YEAH! :D
File:Burgerjew.jpg
File:Throneofusa.jpg
File:Googleamericans.jpg
File:Burgercomic.png
File:EssenseOfAmerica.jpg
File:Americanactivities.jpg
File:Gayptianmurka.jpg
Image:Amerimutt.jpg|This is what is behind the computer screen when you are called nonwhite.
</gallery>}}
{{clear}}

==See Also==
* [[America is Racist]]
* [[Anti-Americanism]]
* [[Asinine American]]
* [[Insane]]
* [[Jim Traficant]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]]
* [[Native Americans]]
* [[Pindos]]
* [[The Jewnited States of Americunts]]
* [[Why do you hate America?]]

==External Links==
* [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/incl/bbcpoll.pdf Why do they hate Americans?]
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Americans circa 2007]
* [http://www.americaisdoomed.com/ America is Doomed]
* [http://www.americanhypocrites.org/ This article/site perfectly illustrates why America is the VERY DEFINITION of hypocrisy!]

{{unitedstates}}

{{Timeline|Featured article September 4, [[2007]]|[[Burning Man]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Anti-ED-Club]]}}

[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Americunts

2025-01-07T02:25:22Z

Juiceoverflow: minor update

[[Image:For God and Country.jpg|300px|right]]
[[File:Americans.png|thumb|right|300px|Americans prepare to mate]]
'''Americunts''', (also known as '''Americans''', when singular '''[[Impossible|A-merry-cunt]]''') are the fattest breed of animals on [[Earth]]. Americans frequently visit [[jailbaitgallery.com]] and are made from [[Statistics|80% fat, 20% propaganda, and 100% FAIL]]. Their women are epicly [[ugly]] and their men have tiny penises (Ranking lower on average than most people except Indians and other gooks). Americans are those who call [[USA|'''The United States of America''']] (pronounced "Murka") home. A veritable [[jenkem|melting pot]] of races, creeds and [[England|colours]], this sub-human offshoot of humanity has been rendered practically [[Terri Schiavo|brain-dead]] by being force-fed vast quantities of shitty materialistic [[crap|garbage]] and relentlessly beaten about the head with the [[Old Media|Stupid Stick]]. The whole game was rigged from the start to make americunts the dumbest most gullible fucktards in World History.

The world's opinion of Americans is that they are [http://www.voanews.com/english/2007-08-27-voa60.cfm morbidly obese], arrogant bullies who, being [[liberal]] [[white trash|hillbillies]] with a severe case of the stupid, act like they are [[Ferrari Guy|God's gift to the planet Earth.]] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDVg9uGtzJ4 This is how they greet each other] Meanwhile, the rest of the world [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/about/show_anti-americans.html hates America] with unfathomable intensity, which Americans have convinced themselves is [[Nice try|'jealousy.']]

It is often asked of Americans and non-Americans alike, "[[Why do you hate America?]]" and, although there are [[over nine thousand]] answers to this question, the main reason is that the only thing that stands between the [[Arab]] nations of the [[Middle East]] pushing [[Israel]] into the ocean (exactly like those [[nazi|genocidal, anti-semitic, land-theiving white people from europe]] pretending to be middle-eastern deserve) is the U.S. [[government]] and the American Public's [[BFF|undying support]] for the [[Jews]]. The Jews control were personally responsible for orchestrating the terrorist attacks on the [[9/11|world trade center]], in conjunction with the [[FBI]], [[DHS]], [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[W]].

Even the <s>[[nigger]]</s> <s>[[The_Donald|grifter]]</s> [[Joe_Biden|pedo]]</s> <s>[[The_Donaldgrifter]] who runs America loves the Jews and supports the state of Israel, believing that Israel's existence is key to setting the stage for [[The Rapture]]. However, all Americans can identify with a nation built on faggotry, stolen land and the [[Pwn|subjugation]] of its [[Native Americans|savage Injun natives]].

Most importantly, it is a well-known fact that the IQ range of the general, ordinary American is [[retard|70 or lower]]; most folk with respectable levels of intelligence often flee to superior lands like yurop and get a STEM education there for free, instead of being subjugated to [[Over 9000]] trillion dollars of student loan debts from an American [[College]].

==The American People==
{{quote|The 100% American is 99% idiot.|George Bernard Shaw|actual quote}}

{{quote|hey fuck face, leave everybody alone. [[Typical|education don't matter worth a shit to me. i left school when i was seven]] and [[Lie|i make 5,000 bucks a month because i work hard.]] pussies like you don't know what hard work is. you can take yer precious education and shove it up yer ass and set fire too it. hard work and god is what makes the world go round, not education, and science, and politicians and goddamn sand niggers like you. click the X button at the corner of your screen for gods sake|JaredChastain1|Taken from a johnny rebel video on jewtube, and a perfect example of the typical NASCAR watching retard americunt}}

[[File:Genericamerican.jpg|thumb|right|What americans look like, according to [[Japan]]]]
[[File:Ddtmom.JPG|thumb|right|[[Truth|What they look like in reality]]]]
Poll after poll has shown that [[everyone|the majority]] of Americans are [[Prove me wrong|illiterate morons]], as well as homicidal mouth-breathers with mommy-issues. The polls have revealed such [[lulz|gems]] as ([http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/05/0502_060502_geography_2.html amongst other things]) the fact that over 70% of Americans either don't believe in [[evolution]] at all or believe that evolution is part of [[God]]'s [[1337]] plan. More 'Murkins believe in angels than evolution and don't know where the fuck their own country is, and will constantly ask you why you do not think, act or believe the way they do. Polls also show that most American adults can't name the three branches of their government, are unaware of how many Senators their state has (much less name him/her/them) - as well as not knowing what the [[CIA|FDA]] is or does [http://www.townhall.com/columnists/JonahGoldberg/2007/08/01/too_uninformed_to_vote].

Recent polls revealed that every one in five Americans could not locate the United States [[facepalm|when shown a map]]. The other 4/5 apparently possess a [[map]], an atlas and/or [[LOL WUT|a clue]], but could not spell '''cat''' if you spotted them a '''c''' and a '''t'''. [[The Chaser]] has also demonstrated that most Americans cannot name a country beginning with the letter "U," though this is not significant, as the average American cannot name any country whose name is composed of more than three letters.

Americans are a social group of obnoxious [[white]] fucks who can be described as arrogant, crude, defensive, dumb, [[fat]], [[gun]] crazy, incredibly [[gullible]], [[ignorant]] (no awareness so ain't inhibited to behave like a [[fucktard]]), inbred, homicide junkies, lawsuit junkies, plastic surgery junkies, therapy junkies, lazy, loud, nasal accented, <s>blonde</s> châtain, stupid, terrified, uncivilized, uneducated wackos..."Can't solve personal issues without gun, [[lawyer]] or [[A frank discussion of mental illness|therapist]]" such [[stereotype]]s means Americunts merits their status as the most ridiculed weirdos on Earth.

The main reason they are so fat is that they are too stupid to chew their food, tearing off whole chunks of unhealthy processed meat and swallowing it whole.

== Americunts And Geneology ==

{{Quote|I don't see much future for the Americans ... it's a decayed country. And they have their racial problem, and the problem of social inequalities ... my feelings against Americanism are feelings of hatred and deep repugnance ... everything about the behaviour of American society reveals that it's half Judaised, and the other half negrified. How can one expect a State like that to hold together?|Adolph Hitler}}

Probably, the biggest problem with Americunts is this Eugenics hold-over from the 1920s and believing that origin means something special. 
Many of the Editors here at [[Awesome|ED]] are multi-national and are aware that such obsessions with genetics and origins don't exist in [[Europe]]. 
It's like one ED Editor said, "Do you know what a child who has two [[Russia|Russian]] immigrant parents calls himself in [[France]]? FRENCH! Not Russian-French but French." 
For some reason [[retard|Americunts]] find it G-D awful important to know their ethnicity down to a single percent like some natural ability for language or mathmatics comes with it and this is why DNA companies are making money hand over fist telling stupid Americunts their genetic origin for [[money|$1,000 a pop]] because their [[Nazi|secret racial pride]] needs to be reassured that they are all white. 
So long as a favored position can be earned through proof of a favored ethnicity, say Native American, in job applications, scholorships, loans and promotions Americunts will never break from this obsession and always be a hotbed for racially charged wars. 

The real joke here is not how these [[retard|Americunts]] call themselves [[Germany|German]], [[England|English]] or [[Greece|Greek]] but when they go to these countries and they're called stupid, Americunt fuckwits that think genetics equals a learned cultural experience because they actually believe they'll automatically fit in. 

== American Heritage ==
Europeans often find Americans repulsive, even just looking at them. There is a reason why. The melting pot of white American identity has been formed by the rejects of Europe. Peoples so subhuman they could only be accepting in a nation of foreigners. Here are a small selection of these races.

*'''[[English]]'''
English are bastards and subhumans disconnected from any wider civilization. The ones which left to America were at the lower end of this gene pool, radical Protestants who despised tradition, authority and god. These fuckjobs left to the US in their droves to have a new country to implement their idiocy and inspired the American Revolution, fuelled by their atheistic enlightenment ideas.

*'''Scots-Irish'''
Scots-Irish is a misleading name for this exiled tribe, being neither fully Scottish, Irish or human. They were banished from Scotland and England for being such worthless subhumans and sent to Ireland, where they were again banished and continued to America, the only place accepting of such a vile race. There they were known as "white barbarians" and their savagery became quite useful in the clearing of the native American tribes. They continue to live in Ireland where their chimp outs continue to this day, god only hopes they will someday be exterminated.

==Varieties==
There are many various nationalities slurring around in the gigantic melting pot that is murrika, fighting and [[sex|sexing]] each other incessantly, each a bastardization of that particular race, twisted and deformed by the ignorant fumes that surround the states and it's people. Below we have split these filthy degenerates into three categories.

*'''[[Niggers|Afro-Americunts]]''': Fresh off the slave boats, these knuckle-dragging excuses for humanity flopped onto the shores of murrika and were thrown into captivity by the whiteys before they could say "watermelon". Fast forward a breezy couple hundred years or so, and the weak sympathizer [[Abraham Lincoln]] sets the Afro-Cunts free into the wilderness of America, free to [[Awkward |mingle with the whitey's who had them wiping their pink little butts for a couple of decades]]. The blacks then proceeded to suck up urban hip-hop gang culture with their [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|moderately]] sized [[cock|brown hoovers]] and evolved into the retarded gang-bangers you now see populating all local Fried Chicken outlets. Roughly 90% of them were wiped out through black on black violent gun crime so not a huge threa-'''[[Black Jesus|oh shit they president now!!11''']]

*'''[[Mexicans|Latino-Americunts]]''': Sombrero wearing border jumpers, these hairy brown sweatbags managed to gain access to America squirt out enough tiny brown babies that the border patrol just thought [[Lazy|"fuck it, there's too many"]] and sat back down on their fat asses. The beaners then proceeded spread all across the Americas, farting tacos and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik&feature=related taking jerbs.] Many also went off to become Latino gangbangers, pimping out their rides and rolling around in checkered buttoned up shirts just generally pissing off the whole neighborhood. And some even escalated to the great heights of [[Sabu|a filthy haxor snitch.]]

*'''[[White Devils|Caucasian-Americunts]]''': Basically what happened when sophisticated [[English]] settlers came to the "Land of the free" and somehow gained an ear-piercing drawl of an accent, and lost half their IQ. [[incest|Inbred]] gluttonous flabs of war-mongering flesh, the white American strives to be everything you hate, plus the added bonus of a superiority complex. There are many types of white American, all of them horrific, but the main divider would most likely be wealth. Down in the dregs of society the deformed [[hillbilly]] fucks his sister and downs another can of pabst blue ribbon, luckily these dribbling excuses for humanity are killing themselves out with various ill-advised stunts and drunken truck driving. Then there are the rich and middle class, grinning soulless funda''mental'' Christians, that would gladly rip your intestines out and drink the gooey fluid before even beginning to consider a tax raise, or free healthcare.

*'''[[Sand Niggers|Arabian-Americunts]]''': Well, the dirty Middle-Easterns who have apparently betrayed their America-Hatin', Terrorist ancestors and have succumbed to our redneck lifestyle, most of these types act like Niggers and are always seen wearing [[Chav|fucking Adidas Tracksuits.]] And also most Arabs vary between Pastemonger Arabs and Nigger Arabs (common misconception being they're all brown) Lebanese, Iranians, Syrians, Algerians and Tunisians are practically White. The Lebanese looking like Dagos, act like Dagos (just ask Australia, Light Brown Arabs being; Jordanians, Egyptians, Iraqis and Moroccans and the darker browns being of Arabian Gulf Countries... Last and least the Nigger Arabs being the Sudanese.

*'''[[Asians|Azn-Americunts]]''': Fresh-off-the-coolie boats are these slanted-eyed motherfuckers who are always finding ways to Jew the White Man. The "Math Jews" are a manipulative, conniving, suggestive race who always appear to pass better IQ tests than the White People, surpassing with Math, Computer Studies, Violin practice, they also make better Doctors. Though most Inner-City educated slant-eyes have great tendency to act and dress and think like Niggers and be easily influenced by them, though still maintaining their physically weak posture, they use their Martial-Arts to help them with fights, most Injuns/Pakis are usually the same, just the Chinese Caucasian/Mediterranean counterpart and most of them immigrate and breed like Mexicans, not to mention Sikh parents being INCREDIBLY lazy, getting their poor kids to do all of their work, the Paki women are considered "attractive" most of which grow mustaches and fart and burp during meals.

[[Image:Muslims Honor Killings 03032014.jpg|thumb|right|A hayseed White Devil's opinion of how attractive a Paki woman is considered DESPITE his standards]]

*'''[[Injun|Native Americunts]]''': Uncivilized, primitive, slow-witted people who have "apparently" been here the WHOLE time, when it was shown in studies that they were immigrants from [[India|Asia]].
{{clear}}
<center>{{fv|americuntsvideos|background:white|font-weight:bold
|<big>'''I'm American'''</big> 
<youtube>HB780oK6F9M</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Teabonics - The Official Americunt Language'''</big></center> 
<youtube>g0rqQ1XM_2A</youtube>
|<center><big>'''What the Americunts Really Want'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4vK2kScsa2Q</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina'''</big></center> 
<youtube>lj3iNxZ8Dww</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Americans are NOT stupid - (with Subtitles)'''</big></center> 
<youtube>fJuNgBkloFE</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Tell it Motherfucker like it is!(a fuckin anti-americunt) </big></center> 
<youtube>jMzIlCHWd7I</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Insurance Company Bureaucrats Are Considered Sacred War Hereos'''</big></center> 
<youtube>LCm2WAjQZsc</youtube>
|<center><big>'''Why Americans are obese'''</big></center> 
<youtube>u4zw99VsoMA</youtube>
|<center><big>'''There are so many bald Americans because this guy [[nigger|stole]] all their hair and glued it to his face'''</big></center> 
<youtube>yG0oBPtyNb0</youtube>}}</center>

==[[Teenagers]]==
America is renowned for their youth, who are horndogs and stuck up asswipes that will rag on anything that doesn't relate to them, ie; [[Jocks|sports athletes]], preparatory school students, and the [[The beautiful people|prom queens]] (who will also be known as a prostitute). If sent to other countries, they will most likely fuck with average civilians, rape the local children and women, and ignite major war, causing massive [[lulz]], due to the fact that Americans always consider nuking [[Japan|countries]] a prime and final solution.

Like their parents, the youth of America are dumb, stupid, illiterate, weak minded, fickle, [[Hipster|trendsters]], and soon to be diagnosed with several [[Mental illness|mental aliments]], like "Alcoholism" and "Substance Abuse". At the ripe age of 6, the typical American kid will go to [[School|school]], being introduced to another kid's cool thing of toy they brought to school, like their older brother's CD of NiggerLispz or Pron, and then will abandon their childish youth, claiming it's "for losers" and will then follow into any lame category of subculture, like "Gamer", "Fucktard", "Jock", "Rich Asswipe", "Emo", or practically anything that MTV will throw out to make money out of. Soon, in high school, major shit ensues, like a [[School Shooting|school shooting]], fucking with the retards, and doing shit that's utterly wrong and then lying, "It's just a joke!" to get out of it. On average, over nine thousand percent of Rich and Beautiful teens usually get laid, and the rest get off STD, Baby and responsibility scott free due the [[Suburbs|Suburbia]] Nanny state laws. Anyone who usually doesn't is considered a [[You|loser]], but that's because that's in High School.

Also, don't be surprised if there's usually some news story about murder being conducted by a teen. It's always been like that. Greater analysts conclude the following will happen to the various groups of fuckheads both mentioned and not mentioned.

=="Americans"==
[[Image:American_citizens.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[Nazi|True American citizens expressing their beliefs]]]]
[[Image:Bush-threat.jpg|thumb|300px|DAMN! Beaten by [[Osama]] again!]]
*[[Canada]]: Part of [[North America]]. Also known as America's hat. Canadians sound like Americans but act like the English. Generally Canadians [[DO NOT WANT|do not like]] Americans, however Americans not named [[W]] or [[Dick Cheney]] and hippies love Canada for its safe haven laws when dodging the draft is needed and its liberal drug laws. Americans will often pretend to be Canadian when leaving America since leaving the gated-community that is the USA can result in severe blunt force trauma, being taken hostage and even death.
*[[Mexico]]: Known most popularly for being America's beard, and technically part of North America; but considered to be South America by all Americans ([[NAFTA|business purposes]] excepted) Mexico once included parts of what is now [[California]], [[Texas]] and other South Western states. It is populated by [[beaner|wannabe Americans]] who will do almost [[list of sex moves|anything]] from cleaning Americans' houses, landscaping Americans' lawns, picking Americans' produce to babysitting Americans' children for a slice of American Pie ([[Shit nobody cares about|and to repopulate their stolen land]]). [[Shit nobody cares about|Instead they get no respect, less than minimum wage and are hunted down like the rabid dogs they are by Immigration and Customs Enforcement]] and Lou Dobbs.
*[[South America]]: [[Irony|Ironically]] there are no Americans in South America. If an American travels to South America he/she is called a '''hostage'''.
*[[Israel]]: The fatherland of true American people. Three hundred millions of [[dumbfuck]]s on the other side of big pond are just a workforce to provide [[Jew gold|help]] to the race of masters.

==[http://imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Devolution] and the Nanny State==
Along with the rampant [[Religion|religious fervor]] currently sweeping the nation, things such as the growing -and increasingly violent- anti-[[abortion]] and [[Homophobia|anti-gay rights]] movements, the general mistrust of and disdain for [[science]] and continued calls to expand the scope of death penalty eligibility suggests that the American species appears to be 'devolving' -in effect [[evolution|evolving]] backwards at an alarming rate. [[Some argue]] that this is being hastened by the [[NORP|general public's]] overall willingness to accept a [[infantilism|'''"nanny state"''']], an ideal of sorts that has been gradually foisted upon them by their [[POS|elected officials]] since President Franklin D. Roosevelt invented the [[hugbox]] as a means to control [[Hobo|the great unwashed masses]] in the 1930s as part of his [[depression|New Deal]].

This also reveals one of the many [[batshit crazy|deep-rooted psychological problems]] inherent in America's collective national psyche since [[rape|taking it in the arse]] is integral for a nanny state to flourish. It can thus be deduced that the majority of Americans have a predilection for [[BDSM|acquiescence]] vis-a-vis [[The Man|their "nanny"]]'s strict governance, a masochism which is starkly evident when one looks at the almost [[asking for it|eager acceptance]] of the gradual erosion and [[pwn]]age of their much vaunted [[ED:TRU|Constitutional]], [[lulz|civil]] and [[human rights]].

Much of this [[YHBT|dog-like 'rolling over']] can bee attributed to what [[old media|scholars]] are fond of calling '''"The Dumbing-Down of America"''' (which should not to be confused with the extensive '''Idiot Proofing''' America went through after [[World War 2]]: Electric Boogaloo) but since that particular bottom of that particular barrel has long since been scraped, [[government|the 'nanny's]] attempts to 'dumb-down' the already dumb is akin to trying [[divide by zero|zero division]]. Rather, the current state of the American mind is more likely to be the result of [[retard|idle minds]] with too much time and money on their hands. After the stigma attached to being a slave/slave master was removed by [[Martin Luther King]]'s freeing of the 'textbook slaves' in the 1960s, the [[NORP|'wage slave']] or [[Mexican|'illegal immigrant']] were born and not only became affordable to anyone with a 'decent' job but they became the [[cool|"little black dress"]] of their day. Without mundane daily tasks such as housekeeping, shopping, driving and raising the kids to worry about, the average American could now stop sweating the small stuff and focus on [[rich and beautiful|living life to the max]].

However, without any challenges, the collective American mind began to stagnate and like a [[cripple]]'s atrophied limbs, today stands useless...a slave to the very people they enslaved to do the thinking for them.

Since losing self-sufficiency and resourcefulness to the [[poor|faceless masses]] (both domestic and [[Call Center|foreign]]) who maintain the status quo the [[NORP|average American]] now goes blithely through life assuming that things such as [[Pr0n|entertainment]], refrigeration, [[television]], [[telephone]]s, and the climate are (God) given or naturally occurring phenomena.

This can be [[IDIFTL|easily demonstrated]] by hiding every day items like remote controls and car keys from Americans or overloading a poorly maintained regional power grid during a heatwave until there are blackouts. When faced with the loss of electricity, Americans will walk around like [[zombie|chickens with their heads cut off ]] until '''someone else''' fixes it since finding solutions to every day problems and implementing them have long since been outsourced to '''other people'''.

==Americunt mind==
[[Image:Nathans_commercial.jpg|thumb|Despite the appearance of a 'protest', this is actually an endorsement for Americunt gluttony]]
Americans take much of every day life for granted. Most Americans believe things such as:
*Beer is self-cooling
*Cash rules everything around me
*Food isn't just nutritional, it's for fun.
*Household appliances are God-given and powered by Jesus.
*Ice cubes are a naturally occurring phenomenon.
*Like water, oil is a natural resource, it's free and unlimited
*The whole world has AC, potable water, and enough hot dogs for eating contests
*Everyone respects me because I have a gun
*Ann Coulter is a credible journalist

==Hobbies==
[[Image:Obesity-rate.jpg|thumb|LOL [[Fat|"Are you going to finish that...?"]]]]
Americans have a variety of hobbies including:
*[[BBQ]]
*Dog Fighting
*[[Eating]]
*Competitive Eating
*Frivolous Lawsuits
*[[Gaming]]
*[[Money|Shopping]]
*[[TV]]
*Getting [[troll]]ed by [[Eurofag]]s on [[b|/b/]] every weekend in the obligatory, ritual [[Eurofag]] vs. [[Americunt]] [[flame war]]s. Then losing whenever [[Eurofag]]s play the "[[China]] owns [[America]]" card.

==Sports==
[[Image:Fat fb player.jpg|thumb|[[Handegg]] "poster boy". Are you fat, talentless, devoid of any skill, or can't think for yourself? Fear not retard, this is the activity for you.]]
Apart [[Global Warming|raping the environment]], [[Internet tough guy|running their mouths]], [[Gaming]], [[Money|Shopping]], [[Television|Channel Surfing]], and [[fat|Competitive Eating]], there's nothing Americans like better than pwning, be it a [[Iraq|country]] (or "contry" in merkin), a [[English|language]] ("langage") or [[sport]]s ("sportz").

[[Soccer]] (pronounced: "football"), is the number one sport in the world in which skill is paramount, and is played by kicking a round ball around a pitch to score goals. Touching the ball with your hands results in a penalty. However, since Americunts are [[fat]] (need a break every five seconds), [[stupid]] (need to be told what to do in every play), [[Newbie|unskilled]] (notoriously bad at using their foot hence can only manage the easier task of using hands) it wasn't tailored for them and so resorted to another British game called '''rugby''' (but without the skill, and in tights) instead. American football AKA '''Gridiron''' is a boring, bizarre, stop start, unskilled, activity that caters for fat non-athletes who can't play sport. Only American [[Gay|"fat fairies in tights"]] play due to cultural obligation having invented it, [[LULZ|no choice]]. If Gridiron didn't suck, it would be played outside the nation it was invented where there is no cultural OBLIGATION...but no one does [[shit|because it blows]]. The only Gridiron league that hasn't collapsed like all the others outside America (the low profile CFL) was culturally imposed by Americunts on those poor Canadians, no one plays in Canada and its overrun with Americunts. A static, stop start snoozefest, if you accidentally stumble upon this crap you will inevitably shout [[Fail|"MOVE FFS"]] every twenty seconds before ending the misery and wisely flicking channel. Its so damn [[boring]] that cheerleaders are required: "Wake up people...yay GO TEAM...who's playing?". Every play is scripted, the fairies in tights get told what to do next and there is no innovation - "[[loser|no one thinks for themselves]]" - J.Cleese, as the coach tells the talentless fairies what to do every thirty seconds.."#77 move left, #45 move right, #32 wipe your ass with your left hand"...[[idiot|there is no thinking involved]]. While using the foot is more difficult and requires superior skill, NFL Gridiron as a bizarre activity devoid of any skillful moments "[[boring|the only creative thing are the beer commercials]]", as this crap sucks donkey balls. It's a kiddies game of bump (that's all ninety percent of these grown up fairies in tights and body armor do), the passer (there's only one...[[LULZ]]) gets multiple attempts as they keep [[loser|failing]]. A bemused Sting (like all of us) on this weirdo Gridiron crap - [[fail|"I don't get it, its like wrestling in crash helmets"]]. In a way its a pity Gridiron has zero interest outside North America, because talentless [[fat|ridiculed fat people]] from other countries who get excluded and left out of playing actual sports, would then have Gridiron to play.

Other Sports Americans Have Pwnt and Changed the Name of Include:
*'''[[Basketball]]''' -from '''Netball''': a game played by [[16-year-old girls|English school girls]]. (Basketball was invented by Dr. James Naismith, a Canadian.) Its played by [[Niggers|overgrown uncoordinated ghetto people]] with the easy as fuck task of placing a ball in an open hoop, as its 60 minutes back and forth of "[[fail|you score, no you score, no you score, no you score...ahhhhhhh fuck this shit]]"
*'''[[Baseball]]''' -from '''Rounders''': a game played by [[4kids|English school girls]]. The British invented baseball for small kids (like hopscotch, it ain't for adults), its played by [[poor]] fat people in [[retard|pajamas]]
*'''Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)''' -from '''Agro''': a game 'played' by rival English football hooligans.

==The Sport Machos==
*Died in a Drunk Driving session.
*Get caught up in a VT and literally die knowing they caused it
*Get raped in prison by Bubba because they like to drink a lot, or [[Rape|liked sex too much]]
*Get shot by the person they used to bully around with
*[[Handegg]] aka Gridiron, with its use of tights, body armor, under eye make up, fanny pack and helmet (and the [[list of sex moves|Quarterback Snap]] where one of the [[gay|"fairies in tights"]] mounts his mans "A" hole and shouts "hut hut" '''code for''': "preparing to enter"), this boring faggotry alien activity (that only sad weirdo [[Americans]] play because of cultural obligation having invented it) is the primary recruiting technique for young new homosexuals.
*Join the [[Army]], fuck some [[Afghanistan|Afghan]]s, [[Arab]]s and various [[Asia]]ns and then die from a Assault Rifle blowjob, either getting caught by the locals or on a raid
*Work in a shitty job because of their ability to take more steroids than the average person and therefore being good in sports and nothing else.

==Prepatory School Fags==
*Continued to breastfeed off of Mummy and Duddy, and died [[An Hero|an hero]] because they couldn't afford anymore "Mall Rat Training Sessions".
*Died [[an hero]] while at his post-college institution, because they couldn't get to party
*Died in a drunk driving session.
*Died in a hazing "accident"
*Fucked a chick while in a [[College|frat]], and is now being [[Rape|fucked]] with.
*Now a person who owes money to the local Mafia, and will not be seen until [[Next Thursday]], in a trunk, crushed car, or in the latest trend, cement [[shoes]].
*Now Bubba's latest girlfriend because of his lulz worthy attempt to kill his parents for insurance money and then move off to Amsterdam to open up a pot shop.

==Inventions==
*<s>[[Slavery]]</s> Read your history books. The [[Islam|Arabs]] start that chain.
*<s>[[Genocide]]</s> There were people in Asia making the first white man to kill a Native American look like an amateur because they had already been doing it for thousands of years in places like [[China]] The word [[Genocide]] is sn American invention and was coined by [[Jew|Raphael Lemkin]] {{Jew}}
*[[Burger King]]
*[[Fat|Obesity]]
*[[Ebonics]]
*<s>[[Electricity]]</s> Wrong. The first practical system for generating electricity, the Voltaic Pile, was invented in [[Italy]]
*[[Electricity|<s>The Lightbulb</s>]] Actually invented by British scientist Warren de la Rue. Since it used a Platinum filament it wasn't cost effective. Edison merely improved upon the design.
*[[Electricity|The AC Power Generator]] Actually an American invention. Created by Mad Scientist great [[Nikola Tesla]]
*The Electric Guitar (to make their stupidity be heard halfway through the city)
*[[Comic book fans|<s>Comic Books</s>]] Actually the first graphic novel was published in England.
*[[Video games]] What a surprise. Another thing that is responsablefor making kids fat is an American invention
*<s>[[Scientology]]</s> Actually ripped off in part from ideas by English [[Satanist]] Aleister Crowley
*[[TonyTigerGate|Peanut Butter]] Another fattening food. What a surprise.
*Friendly fire (shooting your own allies in the back out of your own stupidity)
*Fragging (blowing up your own officers out of ''their'' own stupidity)
*Grandma porn
*[[McDonald's]]
* 97% of the worlds retards (see: ''[[wigger]]'' and ''[[wapanese]]'')
*The global financial crisis
*The Internet, via a series of Tubes (see: ''[[Al Gore]]'')
*[[Global Warming]]
*[[Hipster|Science Du Jour]]
*?
*??
*???
*????
*?????
*??????

==War==
[[Image:Will work for armor.jpg|thumb|You should have been a gay [[handegg]] player then.]]
[[Image:OMGbags.jpg|thumb|[[Milk Bags|This is a fact.]]]]
[[Some argue]] that American soldiers are as [[Retard|thick as two short planks]], while others would say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], making them even more retarded. The U.S. and A are decidedly the only nation in the world that always fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]]. However Americunts are so stupid they'll fight this under the illusion of something [[they]] call '[[freedom]]'. This idea of 'freedom' is in fact a dirty lie spread by the Jews, some argue to get Israel, more people say [[IDIFTL|they do it for the lulz]], therefore making Americunts fight [[IDIFTL|for the lulz]] of jews and even more retarded than [[you]].
What everyone can agree on however, is that if you joined the US [[Army]], [[Military#Navy|Navy]], [[Military#Marines|Marines]] or [[Military#Air Force|Air Force]] after the invasion of [[Iraq]] you're either a [[school|high school]] drop-out with no future, a [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/07/28/eveningnews/main3107316.shtml?source=mostpop_story gang member], a [[criminal]] and/or a fucking moron and are quite deserving of everything you're whining about ([http://freeinternetpress.com/story.php?sid=13293 currently, not having Internets at the front lines]).

Trained entirely on [[video games]] like [[Grand Theft Auto]] within the sterile bubble that is America, these youngsters have a keen sense of reality, other [[culture]]s and fair-play however, Most Americans team with Jews to plot numerous attacks on their [[9/11|own buildings]]. This is [[Lie|untrue]] and they will [[argue]] that the [[Muslim]]s [[I did it for the lulz|did it]]

Americunts will also insist that the United States Air Force is without question the best in the world, even though incidents like those shown in the video below happen at least twice a second. This is probably because Americunts who join the USAF desperately aspire to be [[Tom Cruise]] in '''Top Gun'''. Even though Top Gun is about the Navy.
 
{| align="center" style="padding:5px;"
|<center><big>'''Friendly Fire Cockpit Video Iraq 2003'''</big></center> 
<youtube>4I6-2NJhnf4</youtube>
|}
 
Americans are excited about their soldiers and like to cover their cars with [[gay]] yellow ribbon stickers proclaiming this. Americans however, do not like paying higher taxes for soldiers' weapons, pay, armour, tools, health care, and education. Five years from now our streets will be awash with IED style brain damaged vets with PTSD and maimed bodies. The first thing they will do is kill and eat all of our Vietnam vets. Then they will come for the Jews]

{{cs|Americunts|Americunts in England (Europe) - A tourist's guide|
England and the Americunt have a long standing, gay relationship. England was bummed by a bush over 9,000 times. Many Americunts visit England, as many of our children do, to return to the Eden of developed life on Earth.

In the Adam and the Ants track 'Kings of the Frontier', Adam sings "I feel beneath the white, there is a redskin suffering, from centuries of taming". This is of coarse incorrect with regards to Americunts, who all have Brits inside their inner an-hus sanktomb holes, eating away at them like an itchy prostate cancer they can't scratch. Evidenced by how so many Americunts have some obscure fraction of someone living in the UK or Ireland within their family history, and won't shut up about it. No one in Europe is proud of being related to the Americunt and no one mentions it if they are.

Americunts unable to leave Amma-reeka, scared that they'll be raped t' fuck by everyone in Europe upon arrival, produce overblown stories regarding the poor industrial, economic or military power of Europe and the superiority of the US, so as to convince themselves they are correct to remain isolated and not visit a single other country or experience one other vista on existence within their lifespan, dripping away. This may extend to criticizing dental reg-eye-mays, how sexually appealing the girls are or how straight the boys are in England, whilst sporting their curiosly circumcised peni design to get on good with the boys in the soapy shower rooms of their homeland. And whilst simultaneously wanting to fuck the living shit out of the super hotties in Europe, untainted by Mc Donalds induced obesity and cosmetics or surgery as they are.

Americunts are INTENSELY paranoid of being in Europe, as they have all seen Hostel and believe it's a documentary. This seemingly humorous statement is FACT. The author has direct, personal experience of Americunts in England.

"Don't take that, that's how they get you!" he heard from an Americunt in reponse to someone handing out flyers for a bar. This may be why the intuitive sense of an Americunt is to bomb the fuck out of everything outside the US, regardless of the mondo red crosses painted all over it and guys running around in bright white uniforms covered in red crosses.

Americunts typically can't point to England on a map, and do not realize that Ireland, Scotland and Wales are not England. Or that some of these regions have a deep hatred of being referred to as England. Americunts do not realize that the US supplied the IRA (from Ireland) with weapons, and that the IRA are effectively the Taliban of the UK. They've set off 2000lb bombs around London and seriously fucked shit up. They are also lying little paddy fuckwits that continually change their minds regarding ceasefires. Even the Irish are getting pissed off with them.

Americunts do not realize that a gigantic number of places in the US are actually named after places in the UK. Or that Central Park is a copy of the first public park, Central Park in Birkenhead, UK (DANGER, AMERICUNT! EXTREME CHAV CONTAMINATION ZONE!).

It is a well known fact that every Americunt secretly wishes to live in England on an estate, shotgunning poor people from their balcony whilst sipping tea (putting milk in fruit teas, making it split, not realizing that is not 'tea') and eating strawberries; as per their view of everyday life in England. Modonna herself has begun living this capitalistic, monarchy derived delusion in the UK. This does not help [[British]] / Americunt relations. We don't want her nasty chicken ass polluting England. Please, take her back.

Americunts visit York and believe it to be an accurate depiction of the [[British]]; when it is in fact an 'artificial museum', similar to Florida, but based on ye olde reality. This belief can lead to problems when visiting more realistic [[chav]] infected zones within the UK, which are both numerous and include London and York, the two tourist centres of the UK. York in particular has a strong hatred of the outsider and the BNP (the UK equilivant of the KKK, but targeted towards anything with a foreign accent or tan (themz typez)), has a significant number of supporters in this area. It can be quite a remarkable change in attitude given that many Americunts will be traveling to York from London, where tolerance of the foreigner is high at the latter. Americunts will wear T-shirts or hats featuring something to do with London printed on them and then travel to the north. This is not a good idea. Only the Japanese may not only look cool but also get away with this.

'Those types' of ne'er do wells are easy to spot in the US. They are in biker gangs or fucked off their tits on meth. They are also easy to spot in the UK, yet few Americunts appear willing to spend five minutes familiarizing themselves with the [[chav]] articles and similar, such that they may learn to identify potential risk factors upon visiting. Instead choosing to wear $2000 cameras around their necks in rough estates, assuming the blistered tarmac, broken glass and number plates scattered around them are quaint.

Americunts assume that because the UK has gun control, they are safe to [[asking for it| ask for it]]. In reality, if the UK released it's gun control laws, it would bring about Chavageddon, the new era of darkness. (Sort of like America, only the gang-bangers don't make any real money)

The [[British]] is essentially backwards to the US. Replace north with south. Unless an Americunt is genuinely a gangster and has genuinely grown up in a shitty environment thinking throwing up drugs is the way of things, it must take care of it's mouth and possessions around the north; particularly if it has a tan or strong accent.

The [[British]] has a serious problem with alcohol. The Americunt is considered a faggot if it is sick after ten pints of 9% larger in under an hour. Teens routinely drink 3l of 9% cider. As such, it is common to see mounted police and riot vans around on Friday and Saturday nights. Americunts will engage in nay saying about the [[British]] online, but engaging in this when confronted by a [[chav]] may result in an assault or mugging. [[Chavs]] typically operate in worryingly large gangs, unable to act alone, and will carry knives. Tens of them will immediately decloak and materialize from the concrete surroundings upon identifying a victim or sensing any foreign vulnerability, or just for the fun of scaring the Americunt. They will target Americunts lecturing on dental hygiene that have also not brushed their cosmetically bleached teeth in the last month. Americunts are commonly obese and stink, rendering them detectable from a large distance by the [[chav]]. Get a wash.

Due to their inability to be honest about their feelings without tranquilizing quantities of alcohol within them and the Americunt's unfamiliarity with this level of religious intoxication, they will assume a [[British]] is being honest when not drunk. Fail.

The [[British]] almost always use sarcasm as a sense of humor. The Americunt can reverse what they're actually hearing to define the truth.

The Americunt MUST attempt to lower the volume of it's universally fucking annoying voice in public areas and remove 'bum-bags' or 'fanny packs'. Do not refer to you ass as your fanny. Do not engage in arguments about wars or gun control around areas selling alcohol or up north. Do not discuss the imperial system of measurement around drunk or sober [[British]]. We invented it. It's shit. And the Americunt is shit for thinking it's better than the, French, metric system. DO engage in imperial if talking to a London based street merchant or someone over the age of 60.

Similar rules apply when visiting the rest of Europe; e.g. in hotter countries around Europe (like Italy), replace [[chavs]] with gypsies. They will have a cup and ask you for change. Put your hands on your money and walk away. There's a good chance the Americunt is about the be pick pocketed. The Americunt is uber wise to try and broaden it's horizons, but must not assume Europe is Disney Land. It is perfectly safe, but please dont [[asking for it|ask for it]] from our scummers.|0}}

==Things Americans Hate==

# World peace and tranquility.
# Taking their [[Gun control|guns away]].
# Maps.
# [[European]] football.
# The Native Americans.
# Taking their [[McDonald's|burgers]] away.
# Health and fitness.
# Books and reading.
# [[Niggers]].
# Traveling.
# Getting an education.
# Passports.
# [[Michael Moore]].
# Socialism.
# Communism.
# [[Muslims]].
# Reminding them they didn't "win" the [[World War II|Second World War]] single-handedly and that [[Truth|the Allies would have defeated Germany without their help]].
# Homosexuals.
# The [[British]].
# Quality beer.
# Gyms.
# The Middle East (''with the exception of [[Israel]], obviously'').
# Gas prices.
# The [[Canadians]].
# Eating healthy foods.
# Exercising.
# Edward Snowden.
# Libraries.
# The [[Russians]].
# Cutting the financial funds for their military.
# The [[Japanese]].
# Not sticking their noses in other countries' affairs.
# Diets.
# Schooling.
# The [[Germans]].
# Cuba.
# America.
# Respecting other cultures and countries' beliefs.
# [[Pedobear]].
# Watching sex in movies.
# [[You]].

==Myths and Truths==
[[Image:Fallingdown.jpg|thumb|An average American on his way to the office, minus the fat]]
*All own guns and use them for shooting [[nigra]]s and [[queer]]s. (Wrong. They are for pwning Bambi's mom and dad.)
*Americans are so stupid that if you bring up '''The Battle Of Devolution''' in a history class that they'll think you're refrencing 1970's New Wave, electronic music.
*Are so stupid that they'll declare war on smoking tobacco but somehow can find ways to rationalize smoking [[weed]], vaping or even chewing tobacco.
*America is the center of the world. When your for shit European or third world country can influence the world by how strong its currency is doing then you can call this simple American Nationalism and arrogance.
*Are alleged to smell like cheese burgers and arrogance.
*Americans claim that their military is Akin to G.I. Joe and fighting for their freedom. (Wrong. Their military is for satisfying their Jew government's conquest. Their government's been taking away their freedoms as more and more soldiers are sent to be wormfood.)
*Americans look like how they are portrayed in [[Hollywood]]. (Wrong. 99.9% of Americans are fat ugly cunts who fail at life, the rest are also fat and ugly but have teh moneys for plastic surgery.)
*Always wear plaid on vacation in [[Europe]]. (So please keep them.)
*Visit Europe and go to a High Class restaurant in Paris wearing sweats. [[Muslim|Muslims]], the next time you riot we'll look the other way if you take a couple of these out.
*Are all [[fat]] and greedy. (Only about 110% are fat and greedy.)
*Most can't do one pull-up.
*Are so obsessed with their race because of their mud origins of fucking [[nigger]]s, Indians, [[Mexican]]s and the [[China|Chinese]] that they'll spend $500 for a gene test to discover their origins.
*Invented Father's Day just to [[troll]] the niggers.
*Are evil and will eventually [[pwn|destroy]] the world. (Correct. Research the predicted effects of nuclear weapons from before they tested the first one.)
*Are [[Glenn Beck|loud and vulgar]]. (Particularly the 13 year olds.)
*Are obsessed with [[attention whore|dentistry and cosmetic surgery]]. (See also: [[attention whore|The War on Cavities]])
*Are so fucking lazy that they fight over who should take the trash out [[Fat|due to the gargantuan amount they eat]].
*Are the leading cause of [[Global Warming]]. (Though we all know this is really the fault of the jews)
*Are the sad result of what happens if you mix all european races together and add some niggas to make it more colourful
*Are [[retard|uneducated]] and easily fooled -more than once (see: [[W]]).
*Believe that [[South Africa]] is the only place left with [[Apartheid]] when they fail to look on their own backyard.
*Brought the world such wonderful mordern blessings like [[crack]], [[Meatspin.com|tranny porn]] a.k.a [[Transgender|Madonna]] and [[Homosexuality|The Village People]].
*Claim to hate their country as much as everyone else to gain acceptance from the rest of the world (See also: [[Fail]])
*Everytime you think they can't get any bigger asshole for president they'll prove you wrong. (Nixon -> Reagan -> [[W]] -> [[Barack Obama]])
*Fail at war and love using faggity, poor kids as bait. (see: [[Korea]], [[Vietnam]], [[Cuba]], [[Afghanistan]], [[Iraq]], [[Canada]]). (See also: [[Gay|The war on homosexuality]], the [[War on drugs]]) but the Bay of Pigs was a bunch of Cuban refugees. (see ''[[fucktard]]'')
*Assume everything [[Spanish]] is brown and Mexican.
*Assume everything [[Mexican]] is brown and speaks Spanish.
*Assume everything [[Middle Eastern|brown]] is Mexican and speaks Spanish.
*Know of the Second World War but are [[Spellcheck|surpised]] if you tell them there also was a [[World War I|first one]] too. Honest
*Upon learning of their involvement in WWI they will immediately assume America won it.
*Love [[Jews]]. (This relationship has been strained by the Jewish generated GFC because of the Jewish conspiracy making normal Americunts believe it's all the arabs fault)
*Ran out of the letters, ''''u'''' and ''''s'''' in the 18th century and will soon deplete the world's supply of ''''z''''s.
*[[Ruin]] everything they touch. (Just look at the Internet, and Liverpool Football Club)
*Will soon be renamed "The Chinese". Yay!!!1one!!
*Will sue anything that moves.
*Have the highest population of Manchildren in the world because parents are afraid to kick their kid's ass.
*Genuinely hate freedom, despite living in the self-proclaimed "Freest Country in the World".
*Wish they had a king or royals but will never have more than the desposed [[Hawaii]]an royal family and the crown jewels from Burger King.
*Are highly illiterate. (Much of this article demonstrates that fact.)
*America is one vast, urban slum. (Wrong: America is one vast, ''rural'' slum.)

==Trolling Americunts==
Trolling an Americunt is as easy as telling them the truth and things that actually make sense, then, watching them get mad.

*Ask them why they can't use proper English.
*Remind them how far behind their education system is compared to other nations.
*Tell them they are the fattest country in the world.
*Make fun of their shitty healthcare system.
*Explain to them that [[No shit|they ''aren't'' the best country in the world]].
*Tell them how much their beer and chocolate sucks compared to Europe's.
*Remind them they didn't invent apple pie.
*Say something negative about the United States military.
*And while you're at it, talk about their invasions in Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq and how many innocent civilians their soldiers have killed.
*Call them a "yank" to their face and start laughing.
*Harass and piss them off on X-Box Live.
*Laugh and make jokes about [[9/11]].
*Ask them if they own a passport and if they travel.
*Point out to them that they wouldn't have won the American Revolution without the help from [[France]] and other countries.
*Burn or piss on American flags.
*Tell them that [[Michael Moore]] is an honorable, dedicated American citizen.
*Fuck their ugly-ass women.
*Say something nice about [[Canadians]] and how much more civil they are.
*Say that USA is made from everything than Europe shits and puke.
*Tell them that the Russian military is more badass and can nuke them easily.
*Bring up their long and shameful history of slavery and genocide.
*Throw burgers at their faces.
*Talk about how [[Australia]] is so much better than the USA.
*Tell them that taxation is evil (It's like saying [[Muhammad]]'s a pig-fucker in [[Iran]])
*Tell them how much their ''football'' sucks.
*Just say "Fuck America!" or "America sucks!" It makes them mad which will generate great lulz.
*Tell them that the United States is NOT the entire fucking continent.
*Say that the [[9/11]] is the best thing that happened to mankind!
*Tell them you're a terrorist.
*Remind them when they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
*Say that God doesn't exist.
*Remind them how small their penises are.
*Tell them that America is not a free country. It'll be even better if you provide the proof, and there is plenty of it.
*Remind them how little they contributed to World War 1 and 2.
*Remind them of The Bay of Pigs and The Alamo.
*Ironically the American populace have total love and admiration for the British Welfare Princess Kate Middleton, more so than Jesus. Start calling her the "Welfare Princess".
*Disable the NSA spying device in your charter jet's bathroom so they can't see if your president is making out with Edward Snowden on the trip home to Bolivia.

==Why Americans Suck==

[[File:Antiusa.png|left]]

* They're [[fat]].
* They're a bunch of gun-slinging, bloodthirsty warmongers.
* In the 1940s they did a great sword hunt in Japan destroying these weapons so that a cult wouldn't build up around the ideas of Bushido that a Samurai is some kind of bullet dodging demon that can cut tanks in half with a single slice of their sword that would stall the rebuilding and modernisation of Japan with revolutions and uprisings. Then come 40 years later their grandchildren worship the Japanese for these same cult ideas of a Samurai being some kind of immortal god that can catch bullets in their hands because of [[Animu]].
* They're stupid as shit.
* Most of them can't find [[England]] on a fuckin' map or even their own fucking state.
* They can't even find [[Italy]] even when you first point to the Mediterranean Sea and say it's bordered by it and looks like a boot.
* They're rude and loud as fuck.
* Their nation was founded on slavery, racism and genocide.
* They continue to butcher, rape and bastardize the English language (and speaking of which that's ''bastardise,'' you dumb cunt!).
* Most can't even name all 5 great lakes (HOMES) or know that Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake that doesn't border [[Canada]]
* Most can't even name the river that divides the U.S. into East and West
* Will actually argue with you that all rivers flow south because of [[Gravity]]
* They think they're [[Bullshit|the best people on the fucking planet]].
* Their healthcare system sucks.
* They bow down to the [[Jews|J00z]].
* They're obsessed with guns.
* Their cops are trigger-happy, racist motherfuckers.
* Most of them are ugly, obese hogs.
* They invaded [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan]] and killed many innocent civilians for the oil and the lulz. The lulz we can respect.
* They can only speak one language as they're too unintelligent and lazy to learn to speak it right or be bothered to learn others.
* They created [[McDonald's]].
* They send their soldiers to go out killing people in the Middle East, and then worship and hail them as honorable heroes.
* They have no unique or extraordinary culture; the majority of so-called "American culture" is ripped off from other cultures in other countries and the original culture and cultural inovations they do have are Southern, Black creations like Jazz and the Blues and are often ignored until someone like Elvis or Eric Clapton comes along and cleans it up enough for mainstream, white audiences.
* They created [[W]] and voted for him twice.
* They created [[Obama]] and voted for him, also twice.
* They eat too much.
* They made [[Twilight]].
* They invented rap music.
* They let the Chinese produce their shit.
* Their country is too fucking big to travel through as it takes hundreds of miles just to drive from state-to-state. Make sure you don't pass out from exhaustion and boredom at the wheel while you're driving endlessly on the highways!
* They're the birthplace of [[WalMart]].
* Their food is greasy, fattening and gross.
* And because of all these reasons, not enough of them got pwnt on [[9/11]].
* Their government is corrupt and run by fucked up politicians.
* They steal your oil.
* They celebrate Thanksgiving even though they massacred the Natives, people who've inhabited the country for [[Over 9000]] years.
* Most of their music is crap.
* They produced Kim Kardashian.
* Two words, Bruce Jenner
* They will proudly claim that no foreign power has ever invaded the U.S. conviently forgetting about how England Pwned the White House in 1812
* Most of them don't know they got their asses kicked by the British in 1812.
* They're always sucking [[Israel]]'s <s>giant</s> small cock.
* They're always licking England's royal family's ass like they have any influence in America.
* They actually think [[BBC]] news is completely objective and has no bias.
* They make shitty, overdone movies full of propaganda. Need proof, how come a holocaust movie almost always wins an oscar.
* They joined [[World War II]] too late.
* They joined [[World War I]] way too late.
* Talking about [[World War I]], they bought weapons from the [[France|French]]. The fucking FRENCH
* Since we brought up the [[gun|Chauchat]], that mistake called the M16 in the 60s trying to replace the much superior M14
* They are so lazy about supporting their arts that the majority of who they consider their greatest writers like Ernest Hemmingway and Gertrude Stein got their starts in Europe.
* They speak in the most boring, bland and uninteresting accents ever known to man.
* They have a long, shameful history of treating [[Niggers|brown people]] like shit.
* They drug their kids up with [[Ritalin]] but they're still fat as hell because parents are selling their prescriptions to their trailorpark neighbours.
* They'd rather worry about the poor in foreign country shit holes than help people in the Appalachians
* They start meaningless, bullshit wars in the Middle East for profit, oil and lulz.
* They share the border with [[Canada]] (''and God knows [[Fact|that's bad enough!]]''').
* They also share the border with [[Mexico]] (''AND OMFGZ THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!'').
* Their beer is shit even though they claim they were created by [[Germany|German]] immigrants.
* The majority of them are religious freaks.
* And speaking of religious freaks, they produced the [[Westboro Baptist Church]].
* They like the [[French]] even though the French, in return, hate their guts and don't give a shit about them.
* They allow filthy, smelly illegal beaners from Mexico invade their country.
* Most of them are descendants from Germans (''aka'' '''[[Nazi|NAZIS]]''').

==Gallery==
{{cg||AmericuntsGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Americangenetics.jpg
Image:18 Times.jpg
File:Americunts Racialism.jpg
Image:Bin Ladin Hunt.jpg
Image:Morans.jpg
File:America Jewish Control 1980s styel.jpg
File:Fatblob.jpg
Image:Fox_News_Grin.jpg|Typical smarmy American
Image:Gore_Turd.gif|A typical American, talking shit
Image:Euro_v_USA_Thongs.jpg|Eurofags win again
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Anette-Paris the difference between.jpg|And again
Image:Columbus_Hay_Guys.jpg
Image:Soccerfag.jpg|Newborn Americunt.
Image:Its_The_Attitude_Stupid.gif|Typical Americunt listening to his [[Ipod]]
Image:American sonicfag.jpg|You can't get much worse than an American sonicfag
Image:Fat_American_whale_with_mayo.jpg| Typical [[fat]] American [[woman]] enjoying a light snack.
File:Burgers.jpg
Image:Muh_freedoms.jpg
Image:Pizza_-_American_Pastime.jpg|America's Favorite Pastime: Gorging Themselves Stupid
Image:Land of the free.gif
File:New Face Of America.jpg
File:Burger Assault.jpg
File:Americuntwalker.jpg
File:America Hypocrite Comic POL.png
Image:American bastard.jpg
File:Smashtheusa.jpg
File:Jewish American.jpg
File:Americunt Average 2017.png
File:Americunt Come And Take It.png
File:Americunt Pepsiman.png
File:Americunt Ugly.png
File:Murka is Wite.png
File:Americunt POL Mongrol.jpg
File:Fatyank.jpg
File:Sexyburgergirls.png
File:EUvsUS.jpg
Image:Triplets with american flag.jpg|American [[tits]]
File:DELET this.jpg|Typical piece of shit capitalist pig americunt's reaction to this page
Image:CarissaHads.jpg|In Soviet America, [http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/female-poses-as-male-789432 Girl on Internet] Rapes YOU!
Image:American artwork.jpg|An American self-sculpture in a foreign museum.
File:Burgersalute.gif
File:USmemesucks.jpg
Image:America, Fuck Yeah!.jpg|America? Fuck Yeah!
Image:American Video Games.jpg|Over [[Obesity|400 pounds of fat and lard!]]Evolution - American Evolution.jpg
File:BURGERBOMBING.jpg|Americans on holiday.
File:Americans In Their Natural Habitat.jpg
File:Sweatyfatpiecefoshit.jpg
Image:Murkan schools.png|[[No|Kids in American Schools are smart, aren't they?]]
File:Bombsforhitler.jpg
File:Americanshoppingexperience.jpg
File:Obamafaggot644.jpg|Modern leadership values
Image:Banditkeith.jpg|[[fact|All Americans are required to wear flags on their heads]] by LittleKuriboh. Anyone who breaks this law will spend the rest of their life watching {{ytlink|ZAPHWKZLelg|his Zoo Videos}}.
File:Burgerfaggotdude.png
Image:America_-_Hands_Free_Whopper_Holder.png
File:Staresinamerican.jpg
File:Happylittletbombs.jpg
File:Notfatjezmurkan.jpg
File:A1mericadotexe.jpg
File:Atypicalamerican.jpg|A typical American
File:Patriotard.gif
File:Fuckoffcommiefaggots.jpg
File:BURGER.jpg
File:REALamerican.jpg
File:Americanflag.jpg
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Rascal_Racers.jpg|You win the PRIZE, America!
File:Jesseosbornegun.jpg
File:News.png
Image:America_&_Scooter_-_Waddle_Proud.jpg|Waddle proud!
Image:America_-_Patriotic_Eagle_Cosplay.jpg
Image:The president.jpg
File:Americadotexe.jpg
Image:America_-_American_Children.jpg|FUCK YEAH! :D
File:Burgerjew.jpg
File:Throneofusa.jpg
File:Googleamericans.jpg
File:Burgercomic.png
File:EssenseOfAmerica.jpg
File:Americanactivities.jpg
File:Gayptianmurka.jpg
Image:Amerimutt.jpg|This is what is behind the computer screen when you are called nonwhite.
</gallery>}}
{{clear}}

==See Also==
* [[America is Racist]]
* [[Anti-Americanism]]
* [[Asinine American]]
* [[Insane]]
* [[Jim Traficant]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]]
* [[Native Americans]]
* [[Pindos]]
* [[The Jewnited States of Americunts]]
* [[Why do you hate America?]]

==External Links==
* [http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/incl/bbcpoll.pdf Why do they hate Americans?]
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/plotsummary Americans circa 2007]
* [http://www.americaisdoomed.com/ America is Doomed]
* [http://www.americanhypocrites.org/ This article/site perfectly illustrates why America is the VERY DEFINITION of hypocrisy!]

{{unitedstates}}

{{Timeline|Featured article September 4, [[2007]]|[[Burning Man]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Anti-ED-Club]]}}

[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Guitar

2024-11-29T23:29:38Z

Juiceoverflow: replaced deleted videos, fixed grammar

[[File:Naked_guitar_gentlemen.jpg|center|thumb|500px|Wielding one of these gives you +6 Charisma and Gay. Visit these three guitar gods on [http://nakedguyswithguitars.tumblr.com/ tumblr]. ]]
The guitar is a musical instrument which untalented [[weeaboos]] and [[you|faggots]] pick up in order to gain positive attention to themselves from the opposite sex. [[statistic|Nine times out of ten]], they fucking suck horribly resulting in zero vagina and utter humiliation. However, there is a myth that some people [[bullshit|are actually good]]; but most are just cheap [[13 year old boys]] who think that if they stare at the instrument long enough they'll be able to create music with absolutely [[doing it wrong|no fucking musical knowledge]].

[[File:Vagina guitar.gif|thumb|Another usage of a guitar]]
[[Image:Jmy3r.jpg|thumb|What you should look like if you're playing guitar correctly]]

==Guitars==
[[image:makingmusic.jpg|thumb|A young champ playing the guitar at home]]
*'''Guitar''' (AKA most overrated and overplayed instrument in history) 
The origin dates back to [[over 9000]] years ago when untalented assholes who couldn't play any other stringed instruments and wanting to look like a [[douche]] and get laid with songs about giving girls cherries and apples, invented the lute, which is a [[pussy]] version of most stringed instruments.

Acoustic guitars don't have any amplification, it's what [[your mom]] buys you to shut you the fuck up and do something with your pathetic, meaningless life. Most acoustic guitars are shit, unless you're willing to shell out a couple grand for a decent one that is advertised to be [[bullshit|created with artisan grade wood and shit]]. Every [[School|High School]] D-Bag with an accostic guitar can play [[Randy Robert Stair|Stairway to Heaven]] or [[Pink Foyd]]'s ''Wish You Were Here''

Electric guitars have some form of amplification and are iconically used in [[shit|modern music]]. Most people who own an electric guitar usually own a shitty entry-level Ibanez or an even shittier [[azn]] made Fender Squier, and can only play a handful of generic riffs such as "Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Come As You Are". These are the kind of people that give actual guitarists a bad name because they flaunt their [[skillz|l33t skillz]] like they're the next Jimi Hendrix or some shit.

Contrary to popular belief, there are two distinct kinds of guitar players and they are listed as follows:

*''Ones who know what the fuck they are doing and have fingers that can reach down half the guitar neck''
*''Ones who don't know what they fuck they are doing and can only remember their chords when looking at a finger key.''

Both of these two archetypes have the potential of sucking harder than [[your mom]] on a Saturday night.
Guitarists who know what the fuck they are doing are typically elitist faggots who [[USI|think they're hot shit]] because they know a bunch of fancy terms like 'suspended fourth' and 'pentatonic scale'. Ignore these idiots because they really don't know what they're talking about if they have to talk about the same shit all the fucking time.

Guitarists who don't know what the fuck they are doing [[you|will always suck]], no matter what.

Now, for some examples:
<youtube>wn1pk8Lpelc</youtube>

Now, that is a guitarist that knows what the fuck they are doing - his name is Stevie Ray Vaughan;
He was a retarded [[coke]] addict from Texas and he was probably infinitely better than [[you]] will ever be.

One more example:
<youtube>mBMs5nDop6A</youtube>

There is yet another example of someone that will forever be infinitely better than [[you]].
[[John Mayer]] is a notorious [[IRL troll]] who used his mediocre voice and [[meh|virtuosic]] guitar skills to get famous and fuck as many [[Katy Perry|celebrity babes]] as possible, just so he could prove a point to the people of his hometown that he wasn't a socially-awkward [[aspie]] who wouldn't go anywhere in life - he is an example of someone who is [[winning|doing it right.]]

Final Example:

<center><youtube>HS8c0DWqIEI</youtube></center>

If you need to be told, this is Randy Rhoads, or better yet, the guy who taught Steve Vai. 
He was one of the best, most people that pretend to play metal guitar like to think they're him. He made it IN for guitarists to know how to play classical music because he taught it at UCLA. He is one of the greats all guitarists are rated against and died way too soon. 

*'''Bass Guitar''' 
[[fact|Nobody gives a fuck about the bass guitarist unless they're Geezer Butler. If you're not Geezer Butler no one will ever know who you are.]]

<center><youtube>K3paBhenhyI</youtube></center>

== Obviously Not a Guitar Hero Faggot ==
<youtube>UFVyQSmf_RY</youtube>
[[faggot|because playing Guitar Hero songs on real guitar is cool amiright?]]

== How to Play the Guitar ==
=== DO ===
* Learn to play the riff from Smoke on the Water. Keep repeating and you'll be the best.
* Use as much distortion as you can. It will hide the fact that you have no idea what you're doing.
* Or you can [[Black Metal|start a band based on Norse Mythology and Face Painting, then kill other members of your band to prove that you have and evil level of over 9000]]. People will laugh at you, but it's better to be an unintentional comedian than an average nobody.

=== DON'T ===
* Even think about Music Theory. No guitar god ever learned that shit because they knew it would turn them into classical fags. Learn YOUR OWN music theory!
* Garner inspiration by smoking weed. Everyone knows the best ideas strike when you can't be bothered to do anything but lie on the couch all day.
* Practice more than you feel like. Inspiration will come, be patient.

=== MEH ===
* You can write songs about whatever you like: being a dickless [[redneck]] trying to score in the big city of [[Alabama|your state]], hating niggers, raep, bestiality, etc. Get out of the 60's, you have more chance to score playing a [[Fag|harp]]. Moron.

=== WHO WROTE THIS FAGGOTRY? ===
* Learn a balanced repertoire of songs (don't forget 'Your Body is a Wonderland', that's the ticket to getting [[rape|laid]].)
* Get off your ass and learn how to read sheet music if you want to be a legitimate musician, if not - [[Internet_tough_guy|go fuck yourself]].
* Flaunt your so-called 'innovative guitar playing' as an excuse for you not learning how to play your fucking instrument correctly, like everyone else.
* Overtly use your guitar to get laid, with great power comes great responsibility - choose your [[animals|sluts]] wisely.

=== Guitar virtuosity calculation formula ===
[[File:Pedobear_HD.png|thumb|right|Pedobear's guitar skill = Pussies he had / 2]]
Remember, you'll get double the amount of pussy (0 x 2 - that's just good math!) if you can sing as well. Everyone knows it was singing as well as romantic conquests that made Cory Williamson such a good guitar player, otherwise it would be division by zero and that is not allowed.

=== Every guitar wanker's wet dream ===

* Learn several sensitive love songs on the guitar.
* PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
* Play for [[sluts|teenaged girls]]
* Be sure to bring scuba equipment or you'll drown in the pussy! GEDDIT? WOOOOOOO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOFLOLLOLOFLOFLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLAMOMOOOOOOOLOLOOO \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ [[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]][[File:Icon_playguitar.gif]]
* [[????]]
* [[PROFIT!]]

=== Reality ===
* Learn several sensitive love songs on the guitar.
* PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE
* Play for [[sluts|teenaged girls]]
* Be sure to bring scuba equipment or you'll drown in the pussy. W/E, was funny when I toured with KISS \m/
* Why don't you have a seat over there?
* Buttsecks

==Guitar Faces==

If you play guitar you must have, at all times, a guitar face.
Here is an example of some [[13 year old boy|16 year old boy]] doing a [[heavy metal|metal]] face:
<youtube>lDhmFPdbtcs</youtube>

== See Also ==
*[[Music]]
*[[Angst]]
*[[Eddie Van Halen]]
*[[MysteryGuitarMan]]
*[[13 year old boys]]
*[[Unwarranted self-importance]]
*[[Unrealistic expectations]]
*[[STFU]]
*[[Tina S.]]
*[[Yngwie Malmsteen]]
*[[K-On!]]
{{Life}}
{{music}}
[[Category: Music]]

Jewnited States of Americunts

2024-11-09T02:02:21Z

Juiceoverflow: fixed formatting error

[[File:ThreatLevelKim.jpg|left|]] 
''This article primarily covers the facts, history and other information about the country of the United States. If you were looking for the breed, please [[Americunts|click here]]. '' 

[[Image:AmericA.jpg|500px|center]]

[[Image:Usburn.gif|right]]
[[File:0,1020,350834,00.jpg|thumb|left|Americans enjoying hard core Iraqi fuckfest orgy holidays!!!]]
[[Image:Boadwee_Old_Glory_2007.jpg|thumb|Old Glory, 2007, by artist [[Keith Boadwee]]]]
[[Image:Americaworld.jpg|thumb|left|Red denotes continuous landmass where 'Yankee Go Home is NOT sung on a daily basis, Jew Stars denote Outposts and Capital. Grey denotes continuous landmass where Yankee go Home' IS sung on a daily basis whereas five pointed stars represent their Outposts. Green denotes continuous landmass Where America is loved with [[BDSM|particular]] [[buttfuck|fondness]]]]
[[File:Uncle Sam.jpg|thumb|left|Standard procedure.]]

[[File:TheUSAandtheirneighbourstates.jpg|thumb|center|The USA and their cool neighbours]]

<center>{{morphquote|bitchquotes|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;

|America has the honour of being the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without the usual interval of civilisation in between|Georges Clemenceau

|America is a monstrosity, I wish Columbus had never discovered it.|Siegmund Freud

|I mean the biggest international terror operations that are known are the ones that are run out of Washington.|Noam Chomsky

|The USA is a corrupt, violent, immoral and hypocritical Nation.|Karlheinz Deschner

|Our every action is a battle cry against imperialism, and a battle hymn for the people's unity against the great enemy of mankind: the United States of America.|[[Che Guevara]]

|Thus the American presents a strange picture: a European with Negro behaviour and an Indian soul.|Carl Jung

|The United States has never entered a serious war, and has never been victorious.|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

|I don't see much future for the Americans ... it's a decayed country. And they have their racial problem, and the problem of social inequalities ... my feelings against Americanism are feelings of hatred and deep repugnance ... everything about the behaviour of American society reveals that it's half Judaised, and the other half negrified. How can one expect a State like that to hold together?|[[Adolf Hitler]]

|US Americans are a multi-ethnic Amalgam of unenlightened, uneducated, obese and gun-fanatic hicks without identity and culture.|Anon from a Forum
}}</center> 

'''The Jewnited States of Americunts''', ''(pronounced by the local inhabitants as '''"Murka"''')'' is also known as the ''[[Eminem|Divided States of Embarassment]]'', ''[[Confederate States of America]]'', ''Ameri[[KKK]]a'', ''[[Dumbfuckistan]]'', ''The [[Zionist]] States of [[Israel|Israelistan]]'', [[bible|''Theocratic State of the American Redneckistan'']], [[McDonalds|''Fatty Nation'']], ''[[The Great Satan]]'', the [[Barack Obama|''Black States of America'']], ''[[Fail|United Failed States Of America]]'', ''[[George W. Bush|United Rogue States Of America]]'' or just ''[[America]]'' (as if they are the only country on the whole [[Mexico|''continent'']]) is a cesspool of [[rednecks]], [[spics]], [[jews]], [[niggers]] and [[christfags]] on land stolen from the native [[Injuns]]. It is currently #2 on top ten [[fat]]test countries, just recently, in 2013, overtaken by the fat, fucking, beaner filthy sub-[[Spanish]], also known as the [[Mexicans]].

'''Americunts''' are ugly, selfish, greasy, fat cunts who love nothing more than fucking anything with a hole, sucking up all the planet's resources like it's a gallon jug of bacon grease, [[circumcision|remove the foremost part of the reproductive organ of their male offspring]], and threatening anyone who doesn't let them have their way with total nuclear annihilation. Even though they have the collective intelligence of a bowl of pubes, the accent of a colony of faggot gorillas, and an extreme case of [[Micropenis|baby-dick]], they believe they are superior to everyone else.

The United States is by far the ugliest, most cretinous civilization in human history, and it is despised, secretly or openly, by every other country on the planet, primarily because it is inhabited by the type of people who [https://www.foxnews.com/us/elaborate-houston-double-murder-for-hire-plot-hits-major-snag-prosecutors-say can order a murder for hire] but America is one of the world's most hypocritical countries. It bases its self-perception on lies and myths. The most common misconception about America is that it is a democracy. Bullshit. De facto, America is an oligarchy, not a democracy. Freedom of speech and expression does not exist, unless one believes that the nonsense written on the Constitution is not a hoax concocted by Jewish Americans. 

But America likes to make the world think it's a free country, but whatever you do, '''[[ALL_CAPS|DON'T LISTEN TO THEM WHEN THEY SAY THIS]]'''. [[Admiral Ackbar|It's a trap]] to get [[Mexicans|poor people]] who are [[China|looking for jobs]] who live in a [[Africa|bad place]] to come over only for their [[Fact|kids]] to be sent to [[Love|Guantanamo Bay]], be arrested for speaking freely, be forced to do all the crap labor no one wants like working in fields and slaughterhouses and being [[Molested|unnecessarily searched]] at airports, similar to how [[Pedobear|pedophiles]] lure [[little girls|kids]] into their vans with promises of [[Surprise buttsex|candy]]. 

<center>{{frame|[[File:The Everyday life of an American.mp4]]
<center>'''The Everyday life of an American'''}}</center>

==History==
===In the Beginning...===
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>M4DsNKIJ6TM</youtube>
<center>'''TL DR America is socialist...'''}}</center>
 
A fat, toothless redneck God created Americunts in his own image. America's direct ancestors were composed of the most severely mentally [[retard]]ed untouchables in all of England, known as [[Westboro Baptist Church|Puritans]], who were very much like an ugly crossover of Bill O'Reilly and Islam what with their creepy anti-sex, anti-alcohol, anti-music, [[anti-lulz]], anti-nigger religion, in that they believed women were the spawn of evil and must be [[raped|punished]] [[Iran|God rules this country and the government answers directly to him]] (which carried on into modern American politics as well) and if someone disagrees with you, they are ZOMGZ0RZ TEH DEVIL/WITCH!!1111 and will burn in hell for all eternity (which carried on into modern American political discourse). Back in Britain, the Puritans' incestuous ways created [[Aspie|Oliver Cromwell]] who [[Communism|attempted to overthrow the Monarchy and replace it with a regime where all are equally poor]], which failed epicly. Because the Holocaust was yet to be invented by Charles Darwin 400 years later, the Queen instead decided to pile all the retards, autistics, and criminals on a boat, which, for additional insult to injury, was named the [[Gay|Mayflower]], and send it speeding in a random direction, hoping that they would be too stupid to operate a boat and therefore drown... which is why, in a massive moment of luck, it didn't.

The boat landed in what is today New England and it was a fucking post-apocalyptic wasteland after the Spanish played too much [[Plague Inc]] and pwned the mighty Aztec Empire with [[AIDS|bioweapons]]. Tribal [[injuns|Timber Niggers]] were the only survivors, whom they quickly dismissed as [[truth|violent, barbaric, and uncivilized]]. In the beginning, the Natives pwned the fuck out of the first settlers, which completely confounded the early Americunts in their shitty settlements until they realized that bullets were like kryptonite for people with red skin because they didn't know what the fuck guns were. With all the Injuns exterminated, the Puritans went back to their primitive ways of incest and burning witches, [[USI|believing that the continent was given to them by God]], known as Manifest Destiny (thus setting the foundation for America's violence and foreign policy).

The British realized their error now that the mentally ill criminals they had exiled were [[Incest|reproducing]] at epidemic levels, so the Queen directed the British Navy to reconquer these social rejects and bring them back into line. Britannia righteously enslaved these rednecks to build its rising international status as a superpower, and would have remained that as the British bottom bitches, if it wasn't for the rise of [[Jews|Freemasonry]].

===American Independence: From Christianity to Judaism===

[[Image:JSA.jpg|thumb|[[Jews|Kikes]] annexed [[American Dream|America]] [[At least 100|at least 100 years ago]]]]

Back in Europe, the Jews weren't satisfied in using Adam Smith to invent [[Capitalism|Mercantilism]] and being allowed to create the Bank of England in exchange for funding the Royalty and pwning Oliver Cromwell. The Jews being Jews upped the ante by creating [[Scientology|Freemasonry]], an association of Jewish and Jew-allied [[Atheist]] slaveowners, and because of them, the [[Slavery]] trade was born because [[niggers]] are much cheaper and more resilient than these whiny Puritan retards who begged and cried for independence (bet you didn't know George Washington enslaved both niggers and rednecks for his marijuana plantation, and Thomas Jefferson was a notorious nigger rapist). However, the [[bullshit|honorable]] King George noticed that those atheists were making too much money from the slave trade and, while pissing purple urine, decided to get in on the share as well and raised taxes to 90%... and you know, Jews HATE having lost even the smallest of their [[Jew Gold]] while [[Libertarian|Atheists hate government interference with "MUH PRIVATE ENTERPRISE."]] Jewrge Washington used the classic Freemason [[Bernie Madoff|Pyramid Scheme]] to manipulate the retards in throwing a [[tea party]] in the King’s honor in [[Faggot|Boston]], only to [[troll]] the King by throwing all his precious 10,000 pounds worth of fine Chinese tea to the ocean while shouting "Are thou irate, my king?" [[Trollface|and showing off his ugly wooden teeth]].

Having kicked out the British, George Washington and his fellow Masons decided to create a new Constitution based on the Scientific-Capitalist ideas of Life, Liberty, and [[slavery|Property]], [[Atheist|Separation of Church and State]], [[Attention Whore|Freedom of Expression]] [[Profit]] by any means possible, which enraged rednecks with religious memes like "MUH JESUS" and "MUH BIBLE," to which Jefferson only responded by ripping all of the Bible's references to God or supernatural miracles in front of them like an 18th Century Richard Dawkins (search: the "Jefferson Bible"). The niggers at first celebrated the apparent end of slavery from British taxes, but to their dismay, they discovered that the Constitution only applied to humans... and [[Fact|niggers aren't human]]. The message of this was clear: America is founded on hypocrisy, [[North Korea|a godless totalitarian dystopia pretending to be a God-loving constitutional republic]], where [[niggers]] are still treated as [[Slavery|niggers]] and the "electoral process" is one big scam since you can only "vote" between two wealthy slaveholding Freemasons who pick the candidates for you. For all of its [[Lie|Freedom of Speech]] boasting, once you discover that voting is a fraud and warn everyone about it, say hello to the [[Party Van]].

America is founded on three historical things: War, Entitlement, and Slavery. Entitlement is the democratic right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness... only if you are a white, rich Jew. [[Nigger|If]] [[Mexican|you're]] [[Poor|not]], better join Slavery and suffer either lifetime indentured servitude at McDonalds or being thrown into the [[Prison|Zoo]] so fat Jews can gawk at you. War is in that it hasn't gone 5 years without being in one. The USA frequently attacks small countries like [[Afghanistan]], [[Korea]], [[Japan]], [[Italy]], [[Iraq]], and [[Vietnam]] and devastates them, but they frequently get bogged down by the native farmers with their terrifying rocks and pitchforks [[fact|but doesn't have the balls to attack]] a really kickass country, like Canadia, Russizil, or Chinastan. '''{{wikilink|List_of_wars_involving_the_United_States|}}'''. And, no, Nazi Germany doesn't count because we all know it was actually those damn dirty commie [[Russians]] who defeated Hitler.

==Flag==

[[File:Flag of the Jewnited States of Americunts.png|thumb|600px|The flag of the Jewnited States of Americunts.]]

Like the Constitution, the American Flag, or "Flag of America", is subject to continuous alterations, modifications, and outright high contrast edition. Some postulate that, before the Martin-Zimmerman unpleasantness, the Flag consisted of only three colors: Red, representing the Bloods; Blue, representing the Crips; and White representing the [[Caucasoid]] population stuck in the middle of the conflict. After the unpleasantness, white was substituted by Judeo-Peruvian, and eventually the two prodigal ministers of black person, divided into a multitude of ministries with as many colors as the rainbow. The shape of the stars traditionally changes with the fashion and mood of the people representing the flexible nature of American Government and American Government Paraphernalia.

The current motto of America is "Eine Nation unter Allah"

 

==Traits of the Common American==
{{main|Americunt}}
[[Image:America_reading_is_for_faggots.jpg|thumb|7 out of 5 Americans choose not to read [[British]] literature.]]
[[File:Have a good War.jpg|thumb|Americans Love War.]]
[[File:American porn.jpg|thumb|American Porn]]
#[[Retarded|Passive Aggressive]]
#Ironically hates [[freedom]]
#Easily [[Offended|offended]]
#In [[San Francisco|denial]]
#[[Retarded|Stupid]]
#Uses too much fucking [[porn]]
#Watches child porn secretly
#Dirty Minded
#Lover of (their own) [[Fetishes]]
#[[Germans|Hypocrites]]
#[[Police|Stupid Cops that shoot niggers 12 times and claim self defence]]
#Horrible speller
#Can't do Algebra 101
#[[Jew]] lovers and [[Zionists]] like all [[Christfags]]
#Uneducated (spending too much time around [[niggers]])
#[[Fat|FAT]]
#[[Lazy]]
#[[Bronies|Closet Faggots]]
#Keeping their niggers happy by putting them on TV (the niggers are too monkey to realize that)
#[[Jews|Worshippers of money]] (their real [[God]])
#Obsessed with violence they create, while decrying violence done to them.
#[[White Devils|White]] (50-90% of them anyway).
#[[Christian]]...Protestant...Evangelical (mostly the flyover red states).
#100.1% [[Homosexuality|homosexuals]].
#Obsessed with all things [[Lolcat]].
#Overreacts to everything.
#Obsessed with the words shit and fuck, using them almost every minute.
#Loves [[McDonalds]], [[Taco Bell]], and all other fast food "restaurants".
#[[N00bs]].
#Can't live without a [[PS3]](Penis Suckers 3) ,[[Xbox360|a Sexbox ThreeFixMe]] ,[[Facebook]], and [[aids]].
#99.9% angsty, egotistical teen cunts.
#99.9% infected with [[AIDS|STDs]] and [[Autism]].
#Always jealous of [[Asians]].
#Always jealous of [[Canada|Canadians]].
#Always jealous of [[Europe|Europeans]].
#Always jealous of [[Mexico|Mexicans]].
#Always jealous of [[Britain|British accents]].
#Almost jealous of everything.
#[[Fat]].
#Fatter.
#Fattest.
#[[Furries]].
#[[Diabeetus]].
#00.000001% decent, respectable people. However, you'd be more likely to find a snowflake in [[hell]].
#[[Transsexual|Transsexuals]].
#[[Necrophilia|Necrophiliacs]].
#[[Pedophile|Pedophiles]].
#[[Bestiality|Zoophiles]].
#[[Weeaboo|Weeaboos]].
#Minions of Satan.
#[[4chan]] users
#[[Incest|Inbred]].
#Loves 9/11. They even made a hotline out of it.
#Enjoys having the ends of their dicks [[circumcision|snipped off]].
#[[Twilight]] fans.
#[[Justin Bieber|Bieberians]].
#Pregnant [[Teenagers]]
#[[Call of Duty]] fags.
#Prefers to have AIDS rather than education. Because being retarded is the best policy in Dumbfuckistan.
#Drug user (if you can [[Cocaine|snort it]], they have it).
#[[Unwarranted self importance|Think the USA is #1! USA! USA!]]

<center>{{frame|<youtube>FqkFFo3OFoY</youtube>
<center>'''The Creature ''Americuntis homosexualis'' mating call.'''}}</center>

==Citizens==

[[File:Hallucination.jpg|thumb|left|[[Insane|Americans look other nationalities strangely]]]]

===Rednecks===
[[Image:595.jpg|thumb|A typical American Couple and their children.]]
America is filled with scumfuck white trash who widely populate every state from east to west coast. They are the most disgusting and fuck-ugly people you could ever encounter, except of course, for the [[jew]]s. Though the sworn enemy of the American Redneck is the American Nigger, they enjoy many of the same hobbies - such as skipping out on child support, having diabetes and secretly having hawt homo-sex with one another.

This subset of the American population can usually be found in or around:
#McDonald's
#Trailer parks
#Titty bars
#Welfare offices
#Meth labs
#Prisons
#Gay bashings
#Klan rallies
#Churches
#Burning churches
#Front porches
#Anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line
#Semi-trucks
#Sporting events

{{frame|<youtube>if27InJBtEI</youtube>|margin=auto}}

===[[Niggers]]===
[[Image:Thats_racist.gif‎|thumb|lol niggerz]]
There are no black people in America. Black people live in Africa and can actually sometimes be seen as [[LOL WUT|respectable]] if not far more well-spoken than your average American [[Nigger]]. Black people who immigrate from their native African countries to America haaaate the American nigger and rightly sees him as being uncivilized and a waste of flesh. [[Im 12 and what is this|There are also no African American niggers]] because most of their ancestors were already here [[at least 100 years ago]]. It would be like the modern white decedents of Thomas Jefferson calling themselves British American. American niggers are well known for their love of fried chicken, obese white women and outrageously expensive shoes that none of them can afford, but [[Steal|buy]] anyway.

They are commonly found in or around:
#[[Slavery|Plantations]]
#[[Prison|The Zoo]]
#Child Support
#Always broke
#[[Chicago|Ghettos]]
#[[Detroit|The Nigga hood]]
#Basketball Courts
#Crack houses
#Government housing projects
#Liquor stores
#Rap music
#Gun stores
#Welfare offices
#Prisons
#Moar meth labs
#KFC
#Drive-by shootings
#Marijuana
#Beauty parlors (black women spend about 63% of their average lifespan getting their hair done).
#Discount Fleamarkets
#Maury shows
#Beverly Hills, only when they rhyme.
#<s>The White House</s>

===Men===
[[Image:Mudridin.jpg‎|thumb|A fine specimen of the American Male]]
American men are utter scum, which is why most American women find foreign (especially British) men so attractive. ALL American males are secretly gay. You can tell that they are secretly gay by the kinds of activities they participate in to try to make themselves look straight, such as:

#Football - Full body contact with other men.
#Gay bashing - This is the only way they can fulfill their desire to touch a gay man's sexy homo body without seeming gay themselves.
#"Working out" at gyms - Where they get to see other hot, sweaty male bodies, usually scantily clad.
#Wrestling - 'Nuff said.

Traditional American Male Names:

#BillyBob
#JimBob
#Tyrone
#Tyrese
#Cletus
#Bubba
#OJ
#Tre'Shawn
#Jethro
#Otis
#Joe
#Dick
#Sir
#Fatfuck McMantits
#Wilbur

===Women===
[[Image:fatt5.jpg|thumb|An Average Hardworking American She-Whale]]
All American women are ugly, self-absorbed, dirty, cumdumpster whores who love any kind of cock they can get, especially nigger cock, which is why most American men find foreign women (especially [[azn|Asians]]) so attractive. They spend 99% of their time trying to find a nice dick attached to a [[stupid|man]] that's willing to take care of them and buy them things so that they'll never have to lift a finger for themselves or anyone else again. Because of this, American women are known to be some of the dumbest and most air-headed women on the planet since they shun education in favor of <strike>cock</strike> wimmins don't care about teh cock, only [[Jew Gold|Jew Golds]], cock is a bonus.

Traditional American Female Names:
#Jewel
#Tiffany
#Steffany
#[[Sheneequa]]
#Marge Cunt
#Lexi
#Angel
#MaryJo
#MaryJane
#Luanne
#MarySue
#Bitch
#Cunt
#Fat
#Ho
#Apple

== [[TV|Culture]] ==
[[Image:All american breakfast v2.jpg|thumb|left|All American breakfast]]
[[Image:american breakfast.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Rape_by_Anguissette.jpg|thumb|center|Cover art of a booklet that comes with the Green Card.]]
[[Image:Obesitymap.jpg|thumb|People are starving in [[Alabama]]]]
[[Image:Usarulers.jpg|thumb|left|[[Worldwide Masonic Conspiracy|The Illuminati]]]]
[[Image:America_2D.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!]]

There are more than 14900 International Airports in America including the Biggest and Most Culture-filled [https://vigilantcitizen.com/sinistersites/sinister-sites-the-denver-international-airport/ Denver International Airport.]

There are some "highways". A few of them are even "smooth". Anything else is filthy [[communism]] you filthy shitfucker.

Some towns in [[Maine]] and Northern [[Vermont]] are within a few minutes' driving distance to [[Canada]] and [[France|Quebec]], land of moose rapists and free health care lol.

Most Americans however don´t own a passport and consider dining at the Olive Garden an ''exotic cultural experience'' akin to watching a foreign film. [[Conspiracy theorist|Highly-cultured Americans]] don´t own a passport either but might take the tour of the premises of Denver International Airport.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>ryynfuEkZeI</youtube>
<center>'''The National Anthem of the United States of America (1776-2001, 2004-present)'''}}</center>

===WE'RE #1!===
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>7R5A0pg4oN8</youtube>
<center>'''The (more patriotic) National Anthem of the United States of America (2001-2004)'''}}</center>
 
[[Image:Number1.png|thumb|center|WE'RE ([[Not]]) NUMBER 1!]]
 
Yanks are brainwashed ignorant simple folk that get told by their owners that America is [[the best]] country [[evar]], despite all evidence to the contrary. To be fair, only 30 or so percent of Americans even own a passport, so "evidence to the contrary" is hard to come by for them.

Americans are programmed from childhood to forget the rest of the world exists so that they don't then look outside Yanksville and realize they are being shafted. This is a government method to ensure the notoriously [[Stupid|dumb]], easily [[Gullible|manipulated yankEE populous]] think everything is just fine so they'll continue to work multiple low paid jobs, be satisfied with what little they have, and never think of doing anything so radical as speaking out against a system that is so obviously using them and just [[W|one fancy mustache away from utter fascism]]. Few citizens are able to remove this programming from their brains, but they are still Yanks, so boo-fucking-who. [[oxymoron|Decent Americans]] should just leave the country before they get raped by the rest of the world one day.

To most [[Americunts]], the only country that exists outside of the United States is the one they are currently at war with. As such, [[Iraq]] is the only country that currently exists to Americans. Some also may know of Afghanistan or Iran, but not so much that they can place them on a map.

Americans display their ignorance of other countries as a badge of [[Crap|nationalistic pride]] [[nazi|patriotic]] obedience.

Examples include:
#[[4kids|Remaking books and films so that everything is set in America.]]
#Never traveling outside of <s>North America</s> whichever state they were born in.
#Believing that the capital of Sweden is IKEA.
#Becoming <s>intentionally</s> [[fat|obese]] to avoid air travel.
#Being really shitty at geography in Trivial Pursuit.
#Believing that anyone outside of America is "weird" and still act as if it was the 19th century (eg., the people of [[Europe]] still wear powdered wigs, engage in duels and occasionally don big, spiky helmets).
#Thinking that having a National Health Service is the equivalent to selling one's soul to the devil because it's 'socialism", despite the fact that it saves the people that the government '''SWORE TO FUCKING PROTECT'''.
#Speaking of socialism, all Americunts have a unquestioning hatred/fear of it. It is unknown why, and an attempts to reason with them or even explain usually lead to [[Party Van|men in black suits in vans]] outside your house, monitoring for "terrorist activity".
#Re-Writing historical events (especially those involving war) so that America becomes the sole protagonist, notably Iconic British events in '''{{wikilink|U-571_(film)|WWII}}''' and Afghanistan (see the new [[Stupid|''Medal of Honour'']]).
#Believing that American law is World Law, this means if they enter any other country the rules don't apply.
#The American people believe that the [[world]] loves America as much as they do, and that everyone in the world would rather be living in [[hell|America]].
#Bitching about gas prices, even though it's more expensive in the rest of the world because other countries don't invade people and genocide races to access petroleum.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>wkQ-mHJzNyY</youtube>
<center>'''American culture takes great pride in its [[Whore|national symbols]].'''}}</center>

===America the Unoriginal===

An important part of American [[plagiarism|identity]] involves stealing other peoples stuff, especially the [[British]], these include:

#Name - United States of America; [[United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland|United Kingdom of Great Britain]]. Questions?. The appropriating the name of the entire continent abusively, makes one of their national symbols is also [[Bullying|abuse]].
#America itself, after [[genocide|genociding]] the native population.
#[[English|English Language]] - which the [[alien|Americunts]] [[epic fail|butcher]] in their squeaky Jew voices and slack-jawed Southern drawls.
#[[Music|Anthem]] - John Smith's British hymn, which Americunts [[DMCA|didnt get permission to borrow]].
#Flag - thieved from British east India flag.
#Pastime - [[Baseball]]. The English invented for [[girls]], not for [[New York Yankees|grown-up rich people in pajamas]].
#[[Army]] recruitment - kiddie fiddler [[pedo|Uncle Sam]] "i want you", [[plagiarism|from]] Lord "(Kitchener) Wants YOU"
#[[Education]] - High school, (John) Harvard University (for immigrants only)
#Old Imperial units - Mile, yards, inches and [[shit]]. In this as in many things, they insist on being different, like some indy faggot in high school.
#Building - US Capitol 1850's built by [[Slavery|Slaves]], ripped off Chris Wren's concrete dome on St Paul's cathedral
#The US constitution, particularly the Bill of Rights, - [[plagiarism|from]] Iroquios Confederancy Agreement. WORD FOR FUCKING WORD. They learned freedom from the same people they called savage.
#[[Internet Law|Common Law]] - English, Trial by Jury - Americunts [[sick fuck|love]] a good lawsuit.
#[[Bullshit|National phrase]] The motto ''Life, Liberty, Happiness'' [[plagiarism|stolen from]] the English philosopher [[John Locke|Locke]] ''"Life, Liberty, Possessions"''.
#Many of the quotes attributed to the Founding Farthers, particularly Benjamin Franklin, were again [[plagiarism|stolen from]] John Locke.
#Claiming they are Irish because one of their great great great great grandparents was. This is like saying you're a fish because you swam at the beach one time.
...ad nauseum.

===American English: The One True Form of English===

[[shit nobody cares about|<strike>For the limey idiots who say "colour" was originally spelled that way: look it up, dipshits. The "ou" dipthong originates from French, around the time of the Normans. The original spelling of "color" is "color," as are almost all Latinate/Grecian words (this discounts words of French origin, but most American spellings stick to French convention of using an "ou"). British dumbasses changed these words to make them appear more Latinate/Grecian by adding the u. Again, look it up, and look somewhere reputable, like a book. Noah Webster, an American dictionary writer, pushed for the American people to return to the correct, classic spelling of this and other words. He also pushed for the proper pronunciation of "schedule" as "skedule," as this is a Grecian word and all other Latinate/Grecian words with "sch" are pronounced "sk." Only Yiddish/Germanic "sch" words are pronounced "sh."

Furthermore, even British linguists state that most American accents (short of the accents which are closer to British accents, like East Coast accents) are closer to the "original" pronunciations of English. Strong vowels, rhoticism, and emphasis on syllables are all believed to be trademarks of Old and Middle English speakers.

And your talk about "y'all" shows how fucking stupid and ignorant you are. This is a Southern custom, you fucking idiot. And at least we don't call cigarettes "fags" you limey cocksuckers.</strike>]]
[[HAHAHA_DISREGARD_THAT,_I_SUCK_COCKS|DISREGARD THAT, AMERICA SUCKS COCKS!!!]]

As you can see by the above display, Americunts will get a raging case of [[butthurt]] if you dare to criticize the way they [[Shit|talk/write]]. In reality, despite so many Americunts wanting to ban anyone from speaking anything other than English in their country, most of them can barely even write their name correctly, let alone pronounce anything with more than three syllables, due to rampant fucktardness in their shithole of a country.

{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|l|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>g0rqQ1XM_2A</youtube>
;Official Language
|<youtube>5wSw3IWRJa0</youtube>
;Fucking Brits complaining about American English (as usual)}}
|}}
}}

==American Cuisine==
[[Bullshit|America is world-renowned for it's revolutionary, innovative, affordable, and amazing food]]. The staple diet of the American tribe consists of [[Burger]], [[Taco Bell]], [[McDonalds]], crushed animal bones (see: Jello), feces-infested meats, experimental chemical Frankenstein foods, [https://consumerist.com/2011/07/29/oj-flavor-packs/ zombie fruit], pesticide-laced food crops, high fructose corn syrup, and even more [[tubgirl|savory meals]]! They even have a "cheese product like substance" made of chemical sludge and processed fat, which they call "American cheese"! Whoohoo!!

{{cg||hurl|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Pizza_-_Tempura_Fried_Pizza.jpg|Deep fried, tempura battered pizza, topped with cheese and country gravy!
Image:Bacon_-_Captions_-_Donut_Bacon_Cheeseburger.jpg|A staple American crop.
Image:Bacon_-_Fast_Food_-_Meat_Tornado_-_01.jpg|Meat Tornado
File:Cuisinevaleamerikan.jpg|Typical burger
File:Burger king stacker.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Heartattackgrill.png
File:Pastry Nigger.jpg
File:Grossfood.jpg
File:Burgerfoods.jpg
File:Americaburgerfoodshutle.png
File:Americanbreakfast.jpg
File:Pastry vagina.jpg
File:Americancat.jpg|Even american [[Cats]] are fatasses
File:Americanburgers.jpg|Cuisine
File:Baconburger.png|All-American Burger
File:Burgergag.jpg|americanized BDSM Gag
File:Americancuisine91.jpg
File:Americancuisine8348.jpg
File:Makeburgersgreatagain.jpg
</gallery>
|}}

===[[Obesity]]===
[[Image:Happylard.jpg|300px|right]]
[[Image:fatt2.jpg|thumb|left|[[Tits|FUCK YEAH]]]]
[[Image:Burger.jpg|thumb|left|American porn]]

Since about [[100 years ago]], [[Unfunny|Dumbfuckistan]] has held the title of fattest nation on the planet (Among countries that anyone actually knows about). Indeed, being a massive fucking whale is a deep and cherished part of americunt culture, as now even kids can enjoy diabeetus and harpooning threats starting age 5. '''{{archive|ilWT|This title was recently stolen by Australia last Thursday}}''' (To be taken back after Australia realized they made an error of shifting a decimal place back). Americunts decided the only rational way to counter Australia's dominance over the [[fatty]] title was to expand and export their horrid fastfoods (i.e. McDonalds, [[Burger King]], Krispy Kreme, etc). While Americans claim to enjoy a wide barrage of "fine" cuisine, the rest of the world has consistently dined on healthier fair until the Americunts came along. Seeing that their revenge against the Ausfags was now successfully being implemented, Dumbfuckistan has focused their invasion of fatness upon the rest of the globe.

===Obesity Videos===
 
{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|starvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>7_7m5PkeHJo</youtube>
;When an American breaks his diet.
|<youtube>zoljgJqWL7k</youtube>
;A Starving American.
|<youtube>g-snM-JqAW8</youtube>
;American woman trying to set world record for fatness.
|<youtube>LptjsDGli8U</youtube>
;Believe it or not, this is a fetish in America.}}
|}}
}}
 
=== [[Religion]] ===

America has several major religions, ordered by popularity:
#[[Money]]
#[[Television]]
#[[Sports]]
#[[Food]], [[Obesity|hot dogs and hamburgers, to be precise]]

Americans take their religion very seriously, often spending many hours per night deeply immersed in prayer. Or even more if there's something good on or if it's covered in bacon grease.

Besides these primary belief systems, American culture is deeply rooted in a paranoid and self-serving set of superstitions called [[Christianity]]. This superstitious system causes much butthurt and drama amongst the population, especially when used to justify such dumb, unnecessary or just plain insane acts as going to war, erecting ridiculously huge and expensive statues ({{ytlink|Kiu5NY6z3vg|which then gets pwnt by Thor}}), and cramming themselves into huge buildings full of other sticky, sweaty, slack-jawed Americunts every Sunday to compare clothing and talk to/about their imaginary friends.

===[[Engrish|Edumacation]]===

[[Image:Americans_are_clever_and_thinks_that_the_imperial_system_is_better_than_the_metric_system.jpg|thumb|right|Stay classy...]]
[[Image:FatAmericanFlagShirt.jpg|thumb|...but americans [http://www.tysknews.com/Depts/Metrication/trouble_with_the_metric_system.htm doesn't want anything to do with smooth logic]. Palin 2012!]]

Here's a problem in logic:

Proposition A: 

[[lie|Statistics]] show that [[maths|a quarter to a fifth]] of [[republicans|Americans]] think that their President [[obama|Osama Bin Laden]] is a [[Muslim]].

Proposition B: 

People who think Obama is a Muslim are [[texas|terminally retarded]] and shouldn't be allowed near any [[army|weapons]], not even a moderately sharp [[sex|butter]] knife. 

Discuss, with respect to the proposal to build a [[fundie|Mosque]] out of the [[kill it with fire|burned]] remains of the [[9/11]] victims (whilst [[pwn|laughing and doing a little dance]]).
 

=== Something that should be told to every American: ===
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>lGYFRzf2Xww</youtube>
<center>'''[[Michael Moore]] has this thing about guns; people shouldn't own them if they don't agree with him-- ooohh, those white folks are Sooo terrible! Meanwhile, His Gross Obeseness wants you and me to pay for all the medical bills his 400 pounds causes him. He's a shameless provocateur that has no answers, only bilious sarcasm, and yet some people seem to think he has "talent."'''}}</center>
 
=== [[Television]] ===

The [[fat|average]] American has an erratic, erotic [[sex|bond]] with their Jew-box. This love for their televisions benefits the Jews, as the kikes use the television and the media they broadcast to gain loyal goyim slaves. Any [[Uncyclopedia|content-rich]] program is acceptable in this moron paradise provided it has no relation to anything going on in the real world or that includes any intellectual content that could possibly fire up one of their two braincells (which would, theoretically, instanty cause a massive stroke and death, which is why they avoid it so avidly). For example, slapstick humor like some guy getting nailed in the balls or a child being hit by a car is generally well-received by critics and the general public; programs about art, science or any sort of history whose title doesn't end in "of the Bible" are not.

In American TV, "if it bleeds, it leads". If it bleeds a lot, set it on fire and stab it, then give it its own show and set it to a laugh track. And can we get some tits in there? Maybe add a sassy black woman in season 2? That'll play ''great'' with the 18 to 35 demo.

Americunts can usually be found watching:

#Programs involving [[Paula Deen|fat southerners showing you how to make an entire Thanksgiving Dinner out of butter.]]
#Programs involving selling a house, [[gay|decorating a house]], cleaning a house, swapping houses or swapping wives.
#Talent shows full of self-absorbed, naive, shallow fags and bimbos that usually have about 0% actual talent.
#So called "reality TV" which involves about as much reality as an acid trip inside a Salvador Dali painting of the Neverland Ranch.
#CSI, CSI:NY, CSI:Miami, CSI:Akron, CSI:Disneyland, NCIS (which everyone only watches for the perky goth chick), and every other mindless carbon-copy cop drama that we've all seen a million times over the past 3 decades.
#An unusually excessive amount of advertising that receives more airtime than the shows themselves and often involve children promoting the products regardless of targeted consumers.
#Recycled pawn-shows that have names which are puns of porn
#Recycled repo shows.
#Fat fucks eating (an American past-time).
#Hundreds of programs about [[Alaska]].
#Fake ass court shows that are about as real as the reality TV on MTV.
#Overplayed reruns of [[The Big Bang Theory]] that you've seen [[over 9000]] times.
#Ex-prisoners saving pit bulls.
#Documentaries that vastly exaggerate the role the USA played in [[WW2]] .

=== [[Sport]] ===
[[Image:Fat fb player.jpg|thumb|[[Handegg]] "poster boy". Are you fat, talentless, devoid of any skill, or cant think for yourself???. Fear not retard, this is the activity for you]]
[[Image:ThrowBat.gif‎|thumb|The correct way to play baseball.]]
'''[[Handegg]]''', (which only Americunts call "[[soccer|football]]") is a sport ONLY played by [[Americunts]] because of the cultural obligation of having invented it; there's no choice. With its use of tights, body armor, under-eye makeup, fanny pack-and-helmet-ensemble (and the [[Buttsex|Quarterback Snap]]), it is the primary recruiting technique for young new homosexuals, as it is a required part of most young men's high school education.

American football is a bizarre game descended from rugby, but with much more padding, helmets, and safety equipment lest the player break a nail. It caters to unskilled, fat non-athletes who can't play real sports. Since Americunts need a break every five seconds, it was tailored for them. If American football didn't suck, it would be played outside the nation in which it was invented, but it's not [[Obvious|because it blows]]. The only football league that hasn't folded like all the others outside America (the low-profile CFL) was culturally imposed by Americunts on those poor Canadians (actually, Canadian "football" is less of a ridiculously boring shitshow than its inbred 'murkan cousin, with fewer rules to protect the quarterback, reduced stoppage of play, playing fields 10 yards longer, 3 "downs" instead of 4, and felonies committed by black players kept at an acceptable minimum).

In the NFL (National Fag Lickers), everyone gets told what to do after every tedious, stop-start, mind-numbingly static, boring play with no skill. If you are unfortunate enough to come across some cable channel this garbage is being shown on, you will inevitably shout [[Fail|"MOVE FFS"]] every twenty seconds, then end the misery and wisely change the channel. It's so boring that scantily-clad cheerleaders are required lest the attention span impaired Americunts get up during the play and go look for nachos.

The rise of professional football was actually part of a somewhat successful and ongoing social engineering program employed by the global oligarchy to disengage man from his own destiny. The program works by essentially shifting a man's tribal focus (i.e. his need to engage in political and social affairs within the group of people to whom they belong) from their families and community to a substitute, "professional" sports team. Once a man has disengaged from his true tribal identity for this substitute, he becomes malleable in a political and social sense and is prone to complacency under despotic leaders. Indicators of this program's success include the overwhelming notion that an appreciation of football is the hallmark of manhood (or rite of passage to), tribal-esque body paint displays, and, of course, the inclusion of [[Oxymoron|alpha-females]] as society inevitably progresses into its dying stages (as in tribal society). Partly due to this success, the global oligarchy has effectively taken over the United States of America and re-branded it more accurately as the Jewnited States of America.

[[TL;DR]]: Americunt "football" is rugby for pussies, with added protection and more [[obese|fat]] and ''especially'' more [[niggers]] which makes the whole fucking sport a failure.

'''[[Baseball]]''' [[Gay|is played with sticks and balls]]. Oddly enough, it's a sport in which a team throws the ball "at" the opponent, more specifically the [[Batman|batter]], who almost always [[fail]]s to strike the ball hard enough for it to fly away to the crowd of fat morons and monopolizing Jews so they can catch it. Strangely, America is not the only country that takes this sport seriously. In one of their most tragic attempts to be more like America, [[Japan]] [[shit nobody cares about|also has their own baseball league]]. [[Fact|There has not been an American baseball player in the past 20 years who hasn't used steroids]].

== Pedophilia ==

[[Pedobear]] is an exclusive 100% American creation. From what has been observed, he can be generally found in [[Florida]] and has little interest to move to any other part of the world (except for vacations to Denmark.) Currently, even toddlers are being exploited by money grubbing American parents to appear TV shows such as Toddlers and Tiaras. Apparently, children don't find such shows entertaining. Guess who does? Pedobear sets his DVR to record the show.

It was Sinclair Lewis who said, "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross." Similarly, Pedobear is usually Americanized to make him more politically correct. A pedobear with the stars and stripes in the background is more likely to be accepted than a pedobear without them.

=== {{archive|NkbOz|Pedobear Stats for USA (Or Why Pedobear is proud to be American)}} ===
{{quote3|

[[Image:SupportAmerica.png|center|thumb|250px|Show your patriotism, faggot!]]

#There are more than [[Over 9000|3 million]] reports of child abuse in the United States every single year.
#In the United States today, it is estimated that one out of every four girls is sexually abused before they become adults.
#The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is now publicly advising parents that infants and young children are “sexual beings“.
#67 percent of all sexual assault victims in America are children.
#The state of Illinois has actually been paying convicted sex offenders to babysit young children.
#20 percent of all child sexual abuse victims are under the age of 8.
#According to researchers, convicted rapists in the United States report that two-thirds of their victims were under 18, and among those cases 58% said that their victims were 12 years old or younger.
#One out of every four teen girls in the United States now has an STD.
#[[Cops|Law enforcement officials]] estimate that about 600,000 Americans and about 65,000 Canadians are trading dirty child pictures online.
#In airports all over the country, many young children are being subjected to “enhanced pat-downs” during which their private parts are touched before they are allowed to get on to their airplanes.
#It is estimated that 500,000 of the babies that will be born this year will be sexually abused before they turn 18.
#Advertising often exploits children. The typical commercials will show some stupid kids promoting some product or service they have no clue on what it is (such as home equity loans, insurance, and even dating sites). They're supposed to make the commercial cute (when in fact the kids are just being annoying twats) so that dumbass consumers will pay for the product or service when in reality, it just causes more kid-fucking.

}}

<big><div align="center" style="text-decoration:blink"> {{archive|Z8Q1f|THE US MILITARY IS CONTROLLED BY NETWORKS OF PEDOPHILES}} </div></big>

{{cg|Pedobear And USA|PedobearAndUSA|center|<gallery perrow="3">
Image:Bearstamp.jpg|USPS Supports Pedobear]
Image:USAbear.png|You've got mail!
Image:TIME pedobear.jpg|TIME approves
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="3">
Image:No-child-left-behind.jpg|Even the Education Department is into it!
Image:451taken.jpg|Notice how American UFOs only abduct loli. They are not interested in abducting senile people.
Image:SupportAmerica.png|Show your patriotism, faggot!
</gallery>}}

== [[Government]] ==

{{quote|Well, imagine you're stuck in a bent over position, and you've got one "member" on your Left side and one "member" on your Right side. Now each of them promises that they'll try and be more gentle than the last guy, but you realize after a while that you're still F**ked.|NonyaZ;Summing it all up}}

[[Image:Vampire Desire.jpg|thumb|Ex-president and current lord of the demon estate [[Castlevania]], [[W]].]]
[[Image:Merkasticker.jpg‎|thumb|Found on a typical American car bumper.]]
[[Image:AmericaFuture.jpg|thumb|The future of America.]]
Known in America as "guv'ment," "gub'ment," "those bloated greedy conservative assholes that waste all our money on war," "those bloated greedy liberal assholes who waste all our money on blacks and Mexicans," or "that thing we all try to ignore." The American government is full of far more drama, lulz and even anti-lulz than any other nation on Earth.

===[[Politics]]===
American politics is like a delicately orchestrated simultaneous MMORPG of Russian roulette, [[Bug Chasers|bug chasing]] and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire played by thousands of obese 5th graders wielding those memory eraser things from Men in Black. Every politician's favorite pastime is blaming their political opposite for being non-partisan while simultaneously refusing to co-operate in return, and most Americans' favorite pastime (if they pay attention to it at all) is to watch this political drama on [[Fox News]](more like Fox JEWS,[[amirite]]?) cheering on their favorite player like it's some sort of soap opera (that could potentially turn us all into dirt-poor slaves IRL). Despite every "United We Stand" bumper sticker you might see on the back of a rust and primer colored pick-up truck, most Americans are [[AIDS|rabidly]] partisan and would rather tie their own daughter up in a sack and throw her in a river than let her date a boy who voted for McCain or kick everyone out of their own church if they voted for Obama. Americans ''love'' to hate those that don't think the same way they do.

Fueling this assault on the sanity of the few self-respecting, decent humans that inhabit scattered corners of this country ([[ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH|and distracting us all from the ''real'' enemies]]) are the "news" channels ([[Fox News]], [[MSNBC]], etc.) and radio stations and their very vocal and boisterous cast of ultra-partisan super-pundits whom the majority of Americunts regard as [[avatar|avatars]] of God himself, following every word to a [[Tea Party|tea]]. Very little actual news or verifiable fact is ever spewed forth from these wretched cesspits of political ire, which is why it's so horrifying how influential they are to the slobbering masses of brain-dead zombies who revere them.
{{main|Glenn Beck}}
{{main|Alex Jones}}
{{main|Ann Coulter}}
{{main|Bill O'Reilly}}

It is a somewhat well known fact that American politics on the federal level are run in a fashion similar to that of [[professional wrestling]]. Opponents from both the [[Republican|Republican't]] and [[Liberal|Democunt]] parties bash each other to no end during controlled debates to portray some sense of authenticity, and then get dinner together and proceed to engage in acts of sexual magick in accordance with the one true religion of American politicians: Thelema. Belief in this false left/right, Democunt/Republicant dichotomy is almost ubiquitous among residents in both the United States proper as well as those [[Dumbfuckistan]]. While the motives behind these politicians are up for debate, it is widely argued by actual sentient humans living in America that they belong to a secret cabal, such as 'the global oligarchy' or other such shadow governments.

===Judicial System===
[[Image:Americas-prison-population.gif|thumb|United States leads the world with the [[Niggers|Biggest Prison Population.]]]]
[[Image:Denver riots.jpg|thumb| The modern American judicial system in action.]]
America prides itself as having the largest prison population of all countries in the world. For every 100,000 citizens there are 762 prisoners (International Center for Prison Studies). The American government prefers to throw people in jail and have tax payers pay for their food and shelter, instead of making them contributing members of society. The American police force tries its best to maintain America's leadership in having the largest prison population of the world.

It's incredibly easy to get sent to jail in America. If you're ever visiting (or, god forbid, live) in this god-forsaken country, try to avoid these activities:

#Not liking the Jews (IN AMERICA IT IS MANDATORY TO LOVE THE JEWS)and pretty soon THE FAGGOTS !!
#Being black
#Not owning a TV
#Having an opinion
#[https://jonathanturley.org/2010/05/30/maryland-police-again-threaten-citizens-with-arrest-for-filming-them-in-public/ Taking a picture that just happens to have a police officer in it]
#[https://www.ksl.com/article/1444771 Not watering your lawn] (living in a desert where water is scarce is no excuse)
#Looking even remotely like a drug dealer
#Being black
#Going .002mph over the speed limit
#Being black
#Not being fat enough
#[[taxes|Not pandering to the Jews]]
#Being black

American police are also widely known for their propensity toward trigger-happiness. If they even suspect that you might have ever had drugs in your house EVAR, '''{{archive|09I2p|they will fucking kill you, your family and your pets and they will get away with it too.}}''' ('''{{ytlink|JOlqqeDydZ4|1}}''' '''{{wikilink|Killing_of_Kathryn_Johnston|2}}''' '''{{archive|CAQDh|3}}''')

Besides breaking into your house and destroying it and everyone/thing you love, another favorite pastime of American police is to beat the shit out of children:

{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|Pedovids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>4N7e2FohN4A</youtube>
;Boy with broken back gets tazed 19 times.
|<youtube>iG5yuaXtYDs</youtube>
;Police pwn 15 year old girl.
|<youtube>EH6AYVn2yw4</youtube>
;Cop assaults and chokes 13 year olds.
|<youtube>wTWJyxkyl3A</youtube>
;Cops beat mentally retarded boy.}}
|}}
}}

===[[9/11]]===
[[File:newversion.png|thumb|What the rest of the world thinks about 9/11.]]

On September 11th [[2001]], a bunch of towelheads took over some planes and smashed them into a couple of towers, in what was to become the best act of trolling ever. In typical fashion, they didn't get the [[war|joke]]. But of course, you already knew this. You and every other sapient creature on the planet, and probably some of the [[niggers|lesser species of ape]]. Why do you know? Because this happened in America. When AMERICANS are attacked, EVERYONE must know. Oh, certainly, roughly 3 times the amount of people killed in that attack die EVERY DAY from preventable, [[AIDS|poverty-related causes]] and far deadlier attacks are carried out in other countries every day, but of course, these people aren't American so they don't really matter. Despite Americans thinking everyone everywhere sounds and acts American, it's only the tr00 Americans that count for shit if they die. To this day one cannot mention the incident in question to an American without them acting TTLY SRS. Despite the consequent death and oppression of [[over 9000|millions]] of completely innocent [[Terrorist|Middle-Eastern]] people, Americans still seem to think THEY are the victims in this affair.

Also, [[Jews did WTC]]. It's a [[fact]]. [[Truth|All of the Jewish workers in the Twin Towers stayed home on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, and not a single Jew died that day]]. All of the Jew-owned manufacturing companies made [[over 9000]] dollars per weapon manufactured after America went to war with [[shit|Eye Rack]], [[fail|even though they had nothing to do with 9/11 at all]]. All of the Jew-owned banks got tons of money from the [[W|government]] during the war, and all of the Jew-owned oil companies made lots of [[money]] once we took all of the oil from the [[arabs|sand nigger]] [[Islam|terrorists]].

===[[Economy]]===
[[Image: United_States_of_Zimbabwe.jpg‎|thumb|Morgenthau Plan in first stages.]]

[[Image: uploadingthis.jpg‎|center|450px]]

[[Fail|The Economy of the United States is based to a large extent on agriculture, with an overwhelmingly rural population, many of whom are engaged in subsistence agriculture.]]

Much like its Eastern counterpart, Egypt, but without the [[isla‎m|culture]], Cotton has always been and will soon revert to being the staple of American economy and way of life. American cotton and [[T-shirt|cotton]] products are recognized Worldwide for their durable fabric, perceived quality, and variety of [[memes‎|leitmotifs]] ideally suited to dress any household's Central American or Filipina servant.

Cotton was introduced by the British as a [[Marijuana‎|Cash Crop]] replacing the Native, unhealthy and less profitable Tobacco. The criminalization of Nicotine, the main active compound in dried tobacco leaves, has been slow but constant until it was finally outlawed for ever after the Nicotine-fuelled Presidential Scandal of 1998.

To pick the Cotton and solve unemployment in Western Africa at the same time, the American Philanthropist Association invited Savage Negroes to the Land of the Free-of-charge. And Free stuff is indeed what they found: The Negroes were kindly taught God's Language, English, and God's Word, the Bible. They were given lifetime employment with full health, education and retirement benefits, as well as housing. As this piece of American Vernacular attests the country was on its way to a pleasant existence

{{quote|Summertime and [[welfare|the living is easy]], Fish are jumping and the Cotton is High|black person}}

But in February 1861 the bloodthirsty [[Jews]] took advantage of Americans' [[KKK|tolerant nature]] and paid for everyone's Mint Juleps at the lobby of the Willard Hotel in Washington D.C. Then the nasty Jews proceeded to sweet-talk everyone into [[Civil War|killing each other for a couple of years]] thus destroying the cotton industry and forsaking the Negroes to their own luck. By this the Hebrews achieved many purposes and commodities: separating the [[Whites|people]] from the [[Negro]]es, Gentile blood to prepare their Kiddush Wine and the creation of [[Republican|a proxy Hebrew party to infiltrate Government]], but mainly keeping prices of Egyptian Cotton at Jewishly desirable levels.

Nowadays, as the aftermath of the War of Jewish Aggression is slowly fading, cotton accounts for 86% of the American GDP with the remaining 70% coming from Hemp farming. [[Hypocrisy|Conveniently]] the Federal Government created a [[War_on_drugs|statistical loophole]] to avoid the ordeal of dividing by zero. Hemp, cultivated more for its flower buds than its strong fiber (as not to compete with cotton), has already replaced Tobacco or Apples as the country's main cash crop, albeit destined exclusively for the domestic market.

A country of [[Democrat|Farmers]] and [[Homosexual|Ranchers]], and [[Negro|their dependants]], America is in the process of shaking the last [[New_York|yoke of Jewish oppression]] off its Christian neck. For unlike the Jew's, [[God|HIS]] Yoke is easy and [[God|HIS]] burden is light (Matthew 11:30).

===Federal Reserve===
[[Image: Federal-Reserve-Private-Banking-Cartel-Ponzi.jpg‎|thumb|Federal Reserve: the private banking cartel loans money to enslave Americans with excessive debt..]]
The Federal Reserve is a private banking cartel run by [[Jews]] which masquerades as a governmental body. It was created in 1913 to finance and manipulate America's addiction to overspending for entitlement programs, warfare and McDonald's. The Fed stands above American law, because it's accountable to nobody, except [[Israel]].

This cartel of private banks prints dollars for a few cents per piece, then loans it to the American government at full-face value. Consequently, the American government gradually drowns in a sea of debt. Meanwhile, the international private banker [[Jews]] profit from the interest payments on the rising loans.

The international private banker [[Jews]] diabolical master-plan is to enslave American people through complete bankruptcy, then create a totalitarian regime in North-America, and gradually buy up the rest of the world for a despotic Global Government. Their end goal is to enslave all gentiles, and microchip them like cattle into obedience under the guidance of a global police state. It took [[zeitgeist|a freaking documentary]] for the American Neanderthal economists plus a legion of super nerds to comprehend the national debt's dangerous implications - even as [https://mises.org/library/money-banking-and-federal-reserve-complete-transcript rogue Austrian Jews] and '''{{archive|te3yZ|even some Native Gentiles}}''' were warning us of it since the beginning.

===The Gubmint's Allies===

The United States is allied with the Jews and the Wahabi/Salafi Scum from Saudi Arabia and as a result funded ISIS to take over the Europe for the muslims and Middle East for the jews.

<center>[[File:America Jews and Islam.jpg|500px]]</center>

==[[Military]]==

[[Image:Supportourtroops.jpg‎|185px|right]]
[[Image:TERRORIST!.JPEG|thumb|The current threat Americunt faces. THEY'RE FUCKING [[House|EVERYWHERE!!]]]]
[[Image:MurrikaworldmapNegro.gif|thumb|{{colortext|darkblue|[[Blue]]}} denotes Murrika. {{colortext|#CC2200|[[Red]]}} denotes Niggertown. In Niggertown, they hate freedom.]]
[[Image:USA_complex.jpg|thumb|]]

The [[Army|U.S Military]], which couldn't win their way out of a wet paper bag with guns in their hands, is a bunch of [[homosexual|homo]] fags that are too stupid for college, too lazy for a real job, or trying to avoid prison. These [[retard]]s are actually trusted with guns and [[bomb]]s, which has resulted in an American invention known as "friendly fire". This event only occurs when they're around and basically consists of a [[fucktard]] shooting someone on their own side and going "sorry you had a gun and I just freaked out." Every time an American soldier accidentally shoots his buddy in the face, a Muslim terrorist gets another heavenly virgin (two if they do it on purpose!). Americans only have the balls to attack others when they are armed to the teeth and traveling in numbers. When captured alone, they are far from John Rambo and simply get beheaded on YouTube.

The US Army also perpetrated Operation Oilraqi Freedumb, the dumbest military maneuver since the Maginot Line. In Op Oilraqi Faildumb, Halliburton's military wing spent a trillion dollars invading a country with no military and lost. The US Military likes to scare brown people with their enormous budget, but in reality, criminally insane politicians steal and waste 95% of it on shit that doesn’t work and nobody wants.

America also enjoys firing at British troops and bombing British tanks. This has gone back as far as the Second World War, as shown in a British wartime joke; "When the Germans shoot, the British duck." When the British shoot, the Germans duck. When the Americans shoot, EVERYONE ducks!". It should be noted that this joke is a good example of American ignorance. The reason friendly fire is higher among American forces is because they're retarded and poorly trained. Others have argued that they are just flat-out retarded. Since America's army exploits every country, they build huge rockets to watch the pretty colors, but then they discovered that they actually kill people when a guy thought he could reach the moon on one and failed, which resulted in the modern nuclear bomb.

[[Lie|The main problem with the United States Army seems to be the inability to aim or co-ordinate any form of attack that doesn't consist of blindly shooting until you hit something.]] This is not helped by the high incest rate of America, which results in a low IQ and a fleeting attention span. Training in the American army generally consists of having your head shaved and being able-bodied enough to hold a gun, whereas other more traditional armies persist with the idea of teaching people how to use their weapons, something America did away with some time ago.

'''Fun fact:''' Many people believe [[New Jersey]], [[Massachusetts]] and [[California]] are the US's next targets as [[LOL WUT|they are all violating the US's strict "no freedom allowed" policy]].

=== [[Shit|Experimental Weapons]] ===
[[Some argue|Everyone knows]] that the Americunt special/biological/experimental/homosexual weapons division is responsible for:

*[[Half Life | The Black Mesa disaster]]
*Supermutants
**[[portal|and subsequently,insane robots]]
*Atomic bombs
*Aliens
*Supersoldiers
*[[Bullshit|Religion]]
*[[Satan Claus]]
*[[Homosexuality]], and subsequently
*[[AIDS]]

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AtVSzU20ZGk</youtube>
<center>'''American weaponry at its finest'''}}</center>

===Military Intelligence===

<center><gallery>
Image:Abraham Lincoln cyborg.jpg‎|The US has a long history of superior firepower.
Image:Imminent explosive penetration of vagina by penis.jpg|Pretty much the whole idea behind any war America starts.
Image:C86945b5fdc08dc8604b840052ddd12219a7cbc8 m.jpg|Abu Graib was a much classier place than the Jew media said it was.
Image:GunDoingItWrong.jpg|American soldier demonstrating the correct way to use his weapon.
Image:Military_-_Boob_Inspection.jpg|All [[dyke|female soldiers]] must go through a routine breast exam before leaving for combat.
Image:Funny-iraq-us-soldier-pics-12.jpg|Every time a nigra fucks a camel another Iraqi is born.
Image:Idiot soldier.jpg|A US soldier demonstrating the military's trademark sensitivity for delicate cultural situations to some Iraqi children.
Image:Xxlcock-08.jpg|An unknown bonus to overturning "Don't Ask; Don't Tell" is that pants became optional.
</gallery></center>

== List of American Wars ==

For the 240+ years that Dumbfuckistan has been a country, 219 of them were spent waging wars. That means Americunts have only gone 21 years without going apeshit on people with bigger dicks than them.

'''Year-by-year Timeline of America’s Major Wars (1776-2017)'''

1776 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamagua Wars, Second Cherokee War, Pennamite-Yankee War

1777 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Second Cherokee War, Pennamite-Yankee War

1778 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1779 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1780 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1781 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1782 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1783 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1784 – Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War, Oconee War

1785 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1786 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1787 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1788 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1789 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1790 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1791 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1792 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1793 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1794 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1795 – Northwest Indian War

1796 – No major war

1797 – No major war

1798 – Quasi-War

1799 – Quasi-War

1800 – Quasi-War

1801 – First Barbary War

1802 – First Barbary War

1803 – First Barbary War

1804 – First Barbary War

1805 – First Barbary War

1806 – Sabine Expedition

1807 – No major war

1808 – No major war

1809 – No major war

1810 – U.S. occupies Spanish-held West Florida

1811 – Tecumseh’s War

1812 – War of 1812, Tecumseh’s War, Seminole Wars, U.S. occupies Spanish-held Amelia Island and other parts of East Florida

1813 – War of 1812, Tecumseh’s War, Peoria War, Creek War, U.S. expands its territory in West Florida

1814 – War of 1812, Creek War, U.S. expands its territory in Florida, Anti-piracy war

1815 – War of 1812, Second Barbary War, Anti-piracy war

1816 – First Seminole War, Anti-piracy war

1817 – First Seminole War, Anti-piracy war

1818 – First Seminole War, Anti-piracy war

1819 – Yellowstone Expedition, Anti-piracy war

1820 – Yellowstone Expedition, Anti-piracy war

1821 – Anti-piracy war (see note above)

1822 – Anti-piracy war (see note above)

1823 – Anti-piracy war, Arikara War

1824 – Anti-piracy war

1825 – Yellowstone Expedition, Anti-piracy war

1826 – No major war

1827 – Winnebago War

1828 – No major war

1829 – No major war

1830 – No major war

1831 – Sac and Fox Indian War

1832 – Black Hawk War

1833 – Cherokee Indian War

1834 – Cherokee Indian War, Pawnee Indian Territory Campaign

1835 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars, Second Creek War

1836 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars, Second Creek War, Missouri-Iowa Border War

1837 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars, Second Creek War, Osage Indian War, Buckshot War

1838 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars, Buckshot War, Heatherly Indian War

1839 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars

1840 – Seminole Wars, U.S. naval forces invade Fiji Islands

1841 – Seminole Wars, U.S. naval forces invade McKean Island, Gilbert Islands, and Samoa

1842 – Seminole Wars

1843 – U.S. forces clash with Chinese, U.S. troops invade African coast

1844 – Texas-Indian Wars

1845 – Texas-Indian Wars

1846 – Mexican-American War, Texas-Indian Wars

1847 – Mexican-American War, Texas-Indian Wars

1848 – Mexican-American War, Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War

1849 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians

1850 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Yuma War, California Indian Wars, Pitt River Expedition

1851 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, Yuma War, Utah Indian Wars, California Indian Wars

1852 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Yuma War, Utah Indian Wars, California Indian Wars

1853 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Yuma War, Utah Indian Wars, Walker War, California Indian Wars

1854 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians

1855 – Seminole Wars, Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Yakima War, Winnas Expedition, Klickitat War, Puget Sound War, Rogue River Wars, U.S. forces invade Fiji Islands and Uruguay

1856 – Seminole Wars, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, California Indian Wars, Puget Sound War, Rogue River Wars, Tintic War

1857 – Seminole Wars, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, California Indian Wars, Utah War, Conflict in Nicaragua

1858 – Seminole Wars, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Mohave War, California Indian Wars, Spokane-Coeur d’Alene-Paloos War, Utah War, U.S. forces invade Fiji Islands and Uruguay

1859 Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, California Indian Wars, Pecos Expedition, Antelope Hills Expedition, Bear River Expedition, John Brown’s raid, U.S. forces launch attack against Paraguay, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1860 – Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Paiute War, Kiowa-Comanche War

1861 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Cheyenne Campaign

1862 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Cheyenne Campaign, Dakota War of 1862,

1863 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Cheyenne Campaign, Colorado War, Goshute War

1864 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Cheyenne Campaign, Colorado War, Snake War

1865 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Colorado War, Snake War, Utah’s Black Hawk War

1866 – Texas-Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Snake War, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Red Cloud’s War, Franklin County War, U.S. invades Mexico, Conflict with China

1867 – Texas-Indian Wars, Long Walk of the Navajo, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Snake War, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Red Cloud’s War, Comanche Wars, Franklin County War, U.S. troops occupy Nicaragua and attack Taiwan

1868 – Texas-Indian Wars, Long Walk of the Navajo, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Snake War, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Red Cloud’s War, Comanche Wars, Battle of Washita River, Franklin County War

1869 – Texas-Indian Wars, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Comanche Wars, Franklin County War

1870 – Texas-Indian Wars, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Comanche Wars, Franklin County War

1871 – Texas-Indian Wars, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Comanche Wars, Franklin County War, Kingsley Cave Massacre, U.S. forces invade Korea

1872 – Texas-Indian Wars, Apache Wars, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Comanche Wars, Modoc War, Franklin County War

1873 – Texas-Indian Wars, Comanche Wars, Modoc War, Apache Wars, Cypress Hills Massacre, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1874 – Texas-Indian Wars, Comanche Wars, Red River War, Mason County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1875 – Conflict in Mexico, Texas-Indian Wars, Comanche Wars, Eastern Nevada, Mason County War, Colfax County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1876 – Texas-Indian Wars, Black Hills War, Mason County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1877 – Texas-Indian Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Black Hills War, Nez Perce War, Mason County War, Lincoln County War, San Elizario Salt War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1878 – Paiute Indian conflict, Bannock War, Cheyenne War, Lincoln County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1879 – Cheyenne War, Sheepeater Indian War, White River War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1880 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1881 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1882 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1883 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1884 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1885 – Apache Wars, Eastern Nevada Expedition, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1886 – Apache Wars, Pleasant Valley War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1887 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1888 – U.S. show of force against Haiti, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1889 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1890 – Sioux Indian War, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Ghost Dance War, Wounded Knee, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1891 – Sioux Indian War, Ghost Dance War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1892 – Johnson County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1893 – U.S. forces invade Mexico and Hawaii

1894 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1895 – U.S. forces invade Mexico, Bannock Indian Disturbances

1896 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1897 – No major war

1898 – Spanish-American War, Battle of Leech Lake, Chippewa Indian Disturbances

1899 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1900 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1901 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1902 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1903 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1904 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1905 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1906 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1907 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1908 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1909 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1910 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1911 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1912 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1913 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars, New Mexico Navajo War

1914 – Banana Wars, U.S. invades Mexico

1915 – Banana Wars, U.S. invades Mexico, Colorado Paiute War

1916 – Banana Wars, U.S. invades Mexico

1917 – Banana Wars, World War I, U.S. invades Mexico

1918 – Banana Wars, World War I, U.S invades Mexico

1919 – Banana Wars, U.S. invades Mexico

1920 – Banana Wars

1921 – Banana Wars

1922 – Banana Wars

1923 – Banana Wars, Posey War

1924 – Banana Wars

1925 – Banana Wars

1926 – Banana Wars

1927 – Banana Wars

1928 – Banana Wars

1930 – Banana Wars

1931 – Banana Wars

1932 – Banana Wars

1933 – Banana Wars

1934 – Banana Wars

1935 – No major war

1936 – No major war

1937 – No major war

1938 – No major war

1939 – No major war

1940 – No major war

1941 – World War II

1942 – World War II

1943 – Wold War II

1944 – World War II

1945 – World War II

1946 – Cold War (U.S. occupies the Philippines and South Korea)

1947 – Cold War (U.S. occupies South Korea, U.S. forces land in Greece to fight Communists)

1948 – Cold War (U.S. forces aid Chinese Nationalist Party against Communists)

1949 – Cold War (U.S. forces aid Chinese Nationalist Party against Communists)

1950 – Korean War, Jayuga Uprising

1951 – Korean War

1952 – Korean War

1953 – Korean War

1954 – Covert War in Guatemala

1955 – Vietnam War

1956 – Vietnam War

1957 – Vietnam War

1958 – Vietnam War

1959 – Vietnam War, Conflict in Haiti

1960 – Vietam War

1961 – Vietnam War

1962 – Vietnam War, Cold War (Cuban Missile Crisis; U.S. marines fight Communists in Thailand)

1963 – Vietnam War

1964 – Vietnam War

1965 – Vietnam War, U.S. occupation of Dominican Republic

1966 – Vietnam War, U.S. occupation of Dominican Republic

1967 – Vietnam War

1968 – Vietnam War

1969 – Vietnam War

1970 – Vietnam War

1971 – Vietnam War

1972 – Vietnam War

1973 – Vietnam War, U.S. aids Israel in Yom Kippur War

1974 – Vietnam War

1975 – Vietnam War

1976 – No major war

1977 – No major war

1978 – No major war

1979 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan)

1980 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan)

1981 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua), First Gulf of Sidra Incident

1982 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua), Conflict in Lebanon

1983 – Cold War (Invasion of Grenada, CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua), Conflict in Lebanon

1984 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua), Conflict in Persian Gulf

1985 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua)

1986 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua)

1987 – Conflict in Persian Gulf

1988 – Conflict in Persian Gulf, U.S. occupation of Panama

1989 – Second Gulf of Sidra Incident, U.S. occupation of Panama, Conflict in Philippines

1990 – First Gulf War, U.S. occupation of Panama

1991 – First Gulf War

1992 – Conflict in Iraq

1993 – Conflict in Iraq

1994 – Conflict in Iraq, U.S. invades Haiti

1995 – Conflict in Iraq, U.S. invades Haiti, NATO bombing of Bosnia and Herzegovina

1996 – Conflict in Iraq

1997 – No major war

1998 – Bombing of Iraq, Missile strikes against Afghanistan and Sudan

1999 – Kosovo War

2000 – No major war

2001 – War on Terror in Afghanistan

2002 – War on Terror in Afghanistan and Yemen

2003 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, and Iraq

2004 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2005 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2006 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2007 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, and Yemen

2008 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2009 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2010 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2011 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, and Yemen; Conflict in Libya (Libyan Civil War)

2012 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Syria and Yemen

2013 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Syria and Yemen

2014 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Syria and Yemen; Civil War in Ukraine

2015 – War on Terror in Somalia, Somalia, Syria and Yemen; Civil War in Ukraine

2016 - War in Syria

2017 - War in Syria

== America The Evil Empire, II.==

Here's some potent historical medicine: The US is responsible directly and indirectly for '''tens of millions of deaths''' in [[at least 100|the last 100 years]] '''alone'''. Now, over the last century, the US government has been providing (and continues to) financial assistance, education, arms, military training and technical support to the following dictatorships/authoritarian regimes across the world:

'''Latin America:'''

#Porfirio Díaz (Mexico) (1876–1911)
#Institutional Revolutionary Party (Mexico) (1929–2000)
#Juan Vicente Gómez (Venezuela) (1908–35)
#Manuel Estrada Cabrera (Guatemala) (1898–1920)
#Jorge Ubico (Guatemala) (1931–44)
#Fulgencio Batista (Cuba) (1952–59)
#Rafael Trujillo (Dominican Republic) (1930–61)
#Efraín Ríos Montt and the rest of the military junta in Guatemala (1954–86)
#Revolutionary Government Junta of El Salvador (1979–82)
#Hugo Banzer (Bolivia) (1971–78)
#National Reorganization Process (Argentina) (1976–83)
#Brazilian military government (1964–85)
#Somoza family (Nicaragua) (1936–79)
#François Duvalier (Haiti) (1957–71)
#Jean-Claude Duvalier (Haiti) (1971–86)
#Omar Torrijos (Panama) (1968–81)
#Manuel Noriega (Panama) (1983–89)
#Alfredo Stroessner (Paraguay) (1954–89)
#[[Augusto Pinochet]] (Chile) (1973–90)

'''Asia:'''

#Syngman Rhee (South Korea) (1948–60)
#Park Chung-hee (South Korea) (1961–79)
#Chun Doo-Hwan (South Korea) (1979-88)
#Ngo Dinh Diem (South Vietnam) (1955–63)
#Lon Nol (Cambodia) (1970–75)
#Yahya Khan (Pakistan) (1971)
#Mohammad Reza Pahlavi (Iran) (1941–79)
#Ferdinand Marcos (Philippines) (1965–86)
#Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq (Pakistan) (1978–88)
#[[Saddam Hussein]] (Iraq) (1982–90)
#Suharto (Indonesia) (1967–98)
#Truong Tan Sang (Vietnam) (2011–present)
#Islam Karimov (Uzbekistan) (1990–present)
#Pervez Musharraf (Pakistan) (1999–2008)
#Ali Abdullah Saleh (Yemen) (1990–2012)
#Emomalii Rahmon (Tajikistan) (1994–present)
#Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow (Turkmenistan) (2006–present)
#House of Saud (Saudi Arabia) (1945–present)
#Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa (Bahrain) (1999–present)
#Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani (Qatar) (1995-2013)
#Qaboos bin Said al Said (Oman)
#Hashemite Dynasty (Jordan) (1951–present)
#United Arab Emirates (1994–present)

'''Africa:'''

#King Hassan II, predecessors and successors (Morocco) (1777-present)
#Gaafar Nimeiry (Sudan) (1969–85)
#Samuel Doe (Liberia) (1980–90)
#[[Apartheid]] South Africa (1948–94)
#Meles Zenawi (Ethiopia) (1991–2012)
#Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo (Equatorial Guinea) (1979–present)
#Mobutu Sese Seko (Democratic Republic of the Congo) (1965–97)
#Hissène Habré (Chad) (1982–90)
#Hosni Mubarak (Egypt) (1981-2011)
#Idriss Déby (Chad) (1990–present)
#Yoweri Museveni (Uganda) (1986–present)
#Zine El Abidine Ben Ali (Tunisia) (1987–2010)
#Paul Kagame (Rwanda) (2000–present)

'''Europe:'''

#[[Francisco Franco]] (Francoist Spain) (1936–75).
#Greek military junta (1967–74)
#António de Oliveira Salazar (Portugal) (1932-74)
#Turkish military junta (Turkey) (1980-91)

Everywhere the US has stepped foot in the last 214 years of its virtually unbroken stream of war, it has '''DESTABILIZED''' and '''DOMINATED''' nations, virtually eliminating democracy by engaging in elite terrorist activities, the intended consequence of which is the creation of droves of commercial terrorists. The US is a terrorist-manufacturing apparatus of a scope & scale that has no counterparts in human history. '''{{wikilink|United_States_involvement_in_regime_change|}}'''

== Murica and Its Fuck Buddies Wage War on [[Iran]]==
[[File:Iran_Raping_Israel.jpg|thumb|400px|America and its [[Bitches|allies]] are afraid that [[Holocaust|the greatest lulzfest ever might happen again]] to their [[Jews Control The Media|Jewish Masters]] if Iran develops [[Shoop Da Whoop| NUCLEAR WEAPONS]]!!]]

[[File:MittRomney_Rape_Face.jpg|thumb|left|200px| This is [[Mitt Romney]]`s insidious [[Trollface|rape face]] as he fantasizes over raping Iran with Amurika`s [[Sex toys|WEAPONS OF WARR]]!!!]]

Like an out-of-control international, [[Edarem| serial rapist]], America and its [[BDSM]] buddies, the [[Eurofags]], are allegedly suffering from too much chronic [[butthurt]] caused by Iran's ever growing [[Rape|nuclear]] capacity. They are afraid that [[Epic Win| the Poorsians will use their future nukes to wipe out the festering shitstain known as Israel off the map]].

[https://www.globalresearch.ca/israel-admits-that-iran-does-not-have-a-nuclear-weapons-program/28726 In actuality, the Americans have no concentrate proof that Iran is actually developing nuclear weapons]. Even if Iran is developing [[Dildos|nuclear armaments]], [[Holocaust| cleaning up the festering Kike infestation known as Israel would probably be good for the world!]] The truth is American doesn't actually give a [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]] fuck about Iran's nuclear program (besides the fact that America has to protect its [[Jewish]] overlords in [[Israel]] from the scary Persians!). They actually want to invade Iran just to satisfy their insatiable urge to shove their [[Bombs|military cocks]] down [[DAT ASS| another brown-person country's ass]] (since raping [[Iraq]] beforehand wasn't enough to satisfy Amurikans horny military libido). The epic result would be some [[Cum|nice, black, gooey oil]] coming out of Iran's sorely penetrated arse!

[[Truth| Too bad pwning Iran IRL for the American Spartans isn't going to be anywhere as easy as the 300 Spartans pwning the Puuu-rrrrrsians.]] The funny thing is that many [[Idiots| Amurikan soldiers]] don`t think that.

Yep they think Iran is going to be another easy military-rape victim as I-Rack. [https://www.thedailybeast.com/newt-gingrich-mitt-romney-and-gop-forget-iraq-mistake-in-push-for-iran-war Bad idea, dumbfucks!]

==[[Fact]]s about America==

Control, corruption, and the pursuit of stupidity. A look into some interesting factoids of the world's most embarrassing mess of a country:

#Virtually every American believes that, despite a corporate owned government, a deadweight economy, monstrous levels of prejudice and discrimination, rampant obesity, patent hypocrisy, a two-class society, cable news, growing politicization, and spray-on cheese, that this is the greatest country to ever exist. [[no|How cute]].
#In America, everyone is fat and ugly and horrifically ignorant.
#The US constitution is a checklist of privileges the government is going to take away from you.
#50% of Americans don't know the nearest star is called "the sun", how far away that star is, or how long it takes for the earth to travel around it.
#In America, it is wrong to criticize anyone based on their weight - even if they weigh over 500 fucking pounds.
#90% of Americans know that in WWII 6 million jews died, but have no idea how many Americans.
#In entry to America, your IQ drops 20 points and your waistline expands 20 inches.
#In America you can get a pizza delivered to your house faster than you can get an ambulance.
#The USA and the PRC are different in name only.
#In America, you MUST love the [[Jews]] or else you're a Nazi.
#In America, [[niggers]] are either sent to prison, or the Presidency.
#In America, serial killers have fan clubs.
#In America, there are more fat people than there are people.
#In America, when a group of [[911|muslims kill civilians]], they are called cowards. When an American soldier kills civilians, they are called heroes.
#In America, they'll tell you to "git out of America if you don't like it", even if you aren't in America. However It's illegal to commit suicide and you'll get shot if you do try to cross the border OUT. Truth be told you can't leave America if the government doesn't want you to.
#In America, people think that the reason they didn't win the lottery is because they didn't pray hard enough.
#In America, people get in their cars and drive to their mailbox.
#In America, all women believe they are entitled to date a 6 foot tall, millionaire fireman with two PhD's and a 10 inch dick.
#In America, all men think they are entitled to date a borderline anorexic supermodel with tits bigger than her head and a PhD in sucking what's left of their dick.
#In America, you must side with the opposite party of the president, and you'll have to change your political party every time a different president gets into office.
#In America, the sacred right of voting is so important you must wait until you are an adult of 18 to exercise it, but you have to be 21 to drink a beer.
#In America, it is mandatory to despise anyone who doesn't vote for a bought-and-paid scumbag politician.
#In America, they believe that voting will make a difference and that letting others choose for them somehow makes their votes more powerful.
#In America, there is no bigger sin than not owning a television.
#In America, media figures calling Obama a "[[truth|Nazi communist fascist Muslim Antichrist]]" are taken seriously.
#In America they have drive-through ATMs with braille lettering.
#In America there are handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.
#In America, men believe [[Circumcision|removing 40% of the penis (roughly five hundred thousand nerves)]] will somehow not lessen sensation.
#In America, the military advertises in the help wanted section.
#In America anyone with a Spanish name is instantly demoted to "dirty brown Mexican" status regardless of how [[European|cold, bland, and pasty]] he or she may actually be.
#When traveling abroad, most Americans believe that the native population of whatever country they are visiting should speak perfect and unaccented English, even though the only thing they themselves know how to say in the native language is "Where's the bathroom?"
#In many countries in the world, people don't make enough money to eat. In America, people pay money to lose weight.
#In America, it's common to see a single person driving around in a giant truck/SUV that can easily seat 20 people and only gets 6 miles to the gallon.
#In America, having a huge, noisy, gas-guzzling vehicle makes other Americans think your penis is HUGE.
#In America, working 20 hours a week longer than the average European to uphold an equal lifestyle is seen as a virtue.
#In America, people with no health insurance rabidly protest the government wanting to give everyone health insurance.
#In America, if you question them dumping toxic chemicals into the food and water supply, they'll call you a dirty hippy and beat the shit out of you.
#In America, writing on the sidewalk with chalk is considered destruction of public property.
#In America, they don't know that the Film Harry Potter is in English.
#In America, You must Hate Arabs with all your soul and heart, or they'll think you're a traitor that needs to die.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you if you believe people shouldn't have the right to spew out a hoard of screaming brats.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you if you admit to being an atheist.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for being a fag.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for wearing a turban.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for being more free than the average free man.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for pointing out their hypocrisy, use logic and reality to prove them wrong, win an argument against them, or for telling the truth.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for talking shit about their beloved taxes.
#In America, everyone is convinced USA won WWII, despite every serious historian knowing that USSR defeated the Reich, Americans just came over Europe to loot what's left before Soviets could.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for pointing that the real reason of the end of the Cold War was a through systemic defences induced implosion of the Communism, so its historically incorrect to say the USA won the Cold War, actually the most US-Americans think that only because they are uneducated.
#The average penis size of men (of all racial backgrounds, including [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|blacks]]) in the USA is only 5.1", the lowest on the American Double-Continent; probably due to unhealthy food.
#The USA waging a war against [[Islam|Terrorism]] and for Democracy, but ironically they are allied with [[Saudi Arabia]], a totalitarian state which supports Terrorism
#The USA had always supported (in Southern Vietnam, in Chile, in Indonesia), and nowadays still support Dictatorships and repressive regimes, an other instance of their hypocrisy
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for talking about their lost (in Vietnam, in Afghanistan ect.) or their power political and economical motivated wars and military interventions (the Yugoslavian Wars, the War in Iraq or the Military Intervention in Libya)
#US-Americans are to stupid and/or to uneducated to realize that USA is not a Democracy any more
#In America 400,000 people die every year from the effects of obesity
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for talking about the Human Rights Violations, War Crimes and Crimes against Humanity committed by their Military
#In America, they'll just fucking murder you, okay?

==USA-Russian Relations==
[[File:Russiawantswar.jpg|thumb|500px]]

[[Russia]], America's evil [[lie|commie]] rival, is well known for being a [[irony|terrorist country in the modern era]]. Both superpowers have vastly different goals;

America works to make the world [[bullshit|a better place]] by:

#Instilling and Supporting the rise of democracy, by destabilizing Democratic countries and installing Dictators.
#Making once-great countries into terrorist shitholes; See: [[Syria]], [[Iraq]], [[Afghanistan]].
#Using Political Assassins to murder people trying to get anything good done.
#Imprisoning the most people in the world, while trying to say its' the freest place.
#Murdering its own citizens.
#Censoring and [[NSA|spying]] on its citizens.
#Electing idiots like [[Reagan]] and [[Dubya|Bush]].

However, Russia works [[for the lulz|for the devil]] by:

#Instilling Traditionalist values, such as [[Divide by Zero|making women not act like whores]].
#Invading [[lie|innocent]], perfectly peaceful countries for the lulz.
#Fighting against [[redundant|Homosexual faggotry]].
#Hax0ring teh US intarwebz. Again, for the lulz.
#[[irony|Trading with China]].
#Beating up the members of attention-whoring and a-political Pseudo-Oppositionist Feminazi Band [[Pussy Riot]]. Good job.
#Being evil Commie Atheist scum; even though most Russians are right-wing and very religious.

==Trolling Americans==
#Point out their obesity statistics
#Ask why American teens' role models are all either [[sluts]] or [[niggers]]
#Mention the [[Vietnam War]]
#Ask when the last [[School Shooting]] was
#[[Le_56_Face|Point out that they have the lowest percentage of white people in the Western world]]
#Further shame them by informing them that official US census data defines [https://newsfeed.time.com/2012/09/07/egyptian-immigrant-wants-to-be-reclassified-as-black/ anyone from the Middle East and North Africa as "white"]
#Tell them the Americans joined last second and made no meaningful contributions in Europe in both World Wars
#Ask a geography question
#Criticize their ancestors for wiping out the Native Americans
#Speak a language other than English
#Ask why, if they are white, their closest allies are [[Jews]] and [[sand niggers]]
#Mention the Iraq war
#Tell them [[China|a communist country]] is now the largest economy
#Ask why they are the only country outside of [[Africa]] without free health care
#Tell them all meaningful American inventions were made by immigrants
#Ask why American soldiers raped so many Japanese women during World War II
#[[Edward Snowden|Leak government secrets showcasing how shitty the country is]]
#Say Tim Berners-Lee's invention of the World Wide Web was more important than the invention of the internet
#Ask why they are the only country (apart from [[Shit no one cares about|two irrelevant third world countries]]) to not use the metric system
#Tell them the Soviet Union won the Space Race

==The Pinnacle of [[oxymoron|American Intellectuals]]==
 
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==A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN==

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

#The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
#Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
#July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
#You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
#Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler, although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
#All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
#The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
#You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
#The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
#Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
#You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
#Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
#You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
#An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
#Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
#You will all be required to unquestioningly love and admire Duchess Catherine Middleton. However since your media have already persuaded your love to her, less enforcement will be measured.

<big><big>'''God Save the Queen!'''</big></big>

==Gallery==
 
{{cg|USA! USA!|USAGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:Worldmap.jpg|Map of the UEA.
Image:United_States_of_America.jpg|Give us your oil.
Image:Americanmilitaryhistory.jpg|American Military History
Image:America_won_WW2.jpg|Home of the [[W|brave]].
File:Israel US Relations Simplified.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:America Pets that look like their owners.jpg|America is Israel's bitch.
File:US Capital.jpg
File:American Mass Shooting Recipe.jpg
Image:StatueofLiberty.jpg|Goddess Semiramis
Image:philip k dick - man in the high castle cover-penguin classics.jpg|After [[WW2]] the United States employed enough former Nazis to constantly [[Cripple|deform]] its society.
Image:ZameriCANTO.jpg|Artist rendering of how the average American views their country on the world stage.
Image:USApwr.jpg|[[Do_not_want|How America responds to everything. This is why you don't want to fuck with them, unless you prefer living in a radioactive crater.]]
Image:American mcdonalds.jpg|American drive-thru
Image:American delicacy.jpg|An all-American delicacy
Image:Americat.jpg|Typical American Siamese cat
Image:Jewmerica.jpg|Flag of Jewmerica, also called the USA, an external territory of Israel.
File:Debtshit.jpg
Image:AmericasWorld.gif
Image:AmericanCrimeSolution.jpg|Guns vs Butthurt
Image:Corkscrew_Missile.jpg|'Smart' technology
File:Modern America 2017.jpg|America in 2017
File:JewishcontrolofUSGovernment.jpg|How corporations control the gov't
Image:Bombtheshitoutaya.jpg|Just a little correction
File:American Fag flag.jpg
Image:StarOfCampDavid.png|Every true American is a Zionist
Image:USship NO U.jpg|Typical American ship captain "[[NO U|NO U DIVERT YOUR COURSE]]"
Image:The solution.jpg|What needs to be done
File:For Drugs And Oil.jpg
File:Russia 1917 USA 2017.jpg
Image:Taking Liberties by domnx.jpg|I'd hit it
Image:ED USflag.png|How the US flag will look, circa 2012.The end of the world.
Image:Liberty-momg.jpg|The Statue of Liberty watches over and protects the country.
Image:Fatass.jpg|The United States Fag
Image:All our jews.jpg|They started using [[chikins|chickens]] when they ran out of [[Jews]].
File:Middleeastpolicy.jpg
File:American Measurements.jpg
File:Middleeastbeforeandafterdemocracy.jpg|The [[Middle East]] - before and after US 'intervention'
Image:didyoumeanamerican.jpg
File:USAvsRussia22.jpg|Americunts vs russkies
File:Europehistoryusahistory.png|Yurop vs Jew Ess Aye
File:Burgerfeminism.jpg|Burgerbrains in action
File:UKverUS.jpg|Jolly old brits vs savage americunts
File:Osamagoodguy.jpg|[[Osama]] used to be considered a good goy by the US.
File:Usahomeless.jpg|America cant even take care of its [[Homeless]]
File:Legalillegal.jpg|American legal system
File:Americapuppet.jpg|America is the puppet of [[Israel]]
File:Welcometowalmart.jpg
File:USAvsworld.png
File:SoldiersofUSAlol.jpg
File:ShotgunUSflag.png
File:USAnumber1.jpg
File:ConfederatesVSUSA.jpg
File:American cock.gif
File:Burntheflag.png
File:Talkaboutfreedom.png
File:Somepolshit.png
File:Oldwhiteppl.png|Old white men 'hold back' the country
File:3generations.jpg
File:American Essence.jpg
File:American Political City.jpg
File:Landwhale Caught On Tape!.jpg
File:USmaps.png
File:Missionaccomplished.jpg
File:Americanrebel.png
File:Fatblob.jpg
File:Truecourage.jpg|American courage
Image:Usburn2.gif|[[Jews|Some people]] wish it were illegal to burn the US flag IRL
Image:Crazed1.jpg|As true today as it was in 1907
Image:redneckdrawing.jpg|Typical Americans and their cars.
Image:AYENATIONDIVIDED.jpg|[[obvious|This was obviously made by an Americunt.]]
Image:New usa flag.jpg|Flag of the United Socialist States of America
Image:USofIsrael.png|Flag of the United States of Israel
Image:For God and Country.jpg|What every proud American ought to do
Image:ConfederateFlag4.png|Flag of the Confederate States of America
Image:America fuck yeah woman.jpg|[[America|FUCK YEAH!]]
Image:Christian fundie retards.jpg|America, the [[christian|Christfag]] nation.
Image:China and usa.jpg|The USA gets a lot of [[shit]] from [[China]]
Image:Nazi amaerica.jpg|The true face of [[Nazi Germany|America]], in all it's glory!
Image:Evolution_-_American_Evolution.jpg|American Evolution
Image:America_-_eCards_-_White_Trash_Problem.jpg
Image:Successful opposite of America.jpg|How to be successful - just don't be an American
Image:America_-_Space_Exploration.jpg
Image:America_-_The_American_Dream.jpg
Image:LOL_Cats_-_Captions_-_America_Cat.jpg
Image:America_-_Sweet_Land_Of_Liberty.jpg
Image:Texting_-_07.jpg
Image:Ameeeerica.png
File:NEW DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER PIZZA.jpg
Image:Land of the free.gif
File:Ameriburger Confrontation.jpg|Confronting an Amerifat.
File:AnimatedUSA.gif
File:America has no food.png|Funny
File:Patriotic_American_Flag_Shirt.png
File:111burgercomic.png
File:USA8218293239432.jpg
File:Burgerballed.png
File:AMericanForeignPolitics.jpg
File:Americansareevil.jpg
File:Whitegenocide232323232.png
File:Whitegenocide8483843843.jpg
File:Whitegenocide8438483.png
File:Whitegenocide8483483242.png
File:Whiteminority.png
File:Immigrants.jpg
File:Patriotismpot.jpg
File:Divided states of america.gif
File:Louisiana Purhcase A+++.jpg
File:West Virginia.jpg
File:Whizzle fo Shizzle.jpg
File:Typical american woman.jpg
File:Usa.jpg
File:Diversity.png
File:ObesityUSA.png
File:Rich Financial Seizure Of USA.gif|More evidence of the Ogliarchy, goy...
File:US Vs Iran Warmongering.jpg
File:Latuff America Israel Innocence.jpg
File:Countries That Lose To Vietnamese Farmers.jpg
File:Here Comes The Americans.png
File:Shitty USA Is Israels Bitch.jpg
File:American Pig Vs Starving Child.jpg
File:Jews Control AMERICA.jpg
File:Iran.jpg
File:Americanbitch.jpg
File:Americansareassholes.jpg
File:ThreeAmericansBridge.jpg
File:USDebt.png
File:AmericanMongrelvsWhiteEthnicRussian.jpg|The American Alternative Right got it!
File:American Multiracial Future.jpg|A bad message to [[Racist]]s of all Races
File:TheTruthaboutAmerica.jpg|True words about America spoken out of the mouth of an American
File:America.png
File:America dead.jpg
File:Americans 2016 2017.jpg
</gallery>
|0}}
 
==See Also==
[[File:Merchant of liberty.png|right|650px|link=Israel]]
*[[4th of July]]
*[[American language]]
*[[Americunts]]
*[[AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!]]
*[[America's Third Party]]
*[[Archer]]
*[[Cancer]]
*[[Darth Cheney]]
*[[Diabeetus]]
*[[Joe Biden]] - The current president of the Jewnited States.
*[[The Donald|Donald J. Trump]] - The former president of the Jewnited States.
*[[Senator Barack Hussein Obama]] - A former USA president, and current has-been
*[[fat|Heart disease]]
*[[Hetalia]]
*[[Jim Traficant]]
*[[drunk|Lakotastan]]
*[[redneck|Manifest Destiny]]
*[[Native American]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Paula Deen]]
*[[Pindos]]
*[[Retard]]

*[[Unwarranted self importance]]
*[[W]]
*[[White people]]
*[[White Nationalism]]
*[[Why do you hate America?]]
{{clear}}

== External Links ==
*{{UkrED|США|UkrDramatica's article on this}}
*'''{{archive|Y6b0y|What Russia thinks of America}}''' - '''WARNING:''' High levels of [[mental retardation]]
*'''{{archive|BybCA|Good place for showing your American hate for Muslims and vice versa}}'''
*'''{{archive|aSccx|A severely butthurt American complaining and denying about the fact that the USA is definitely a terrorist nation due to the USA's constant bullying wars of piss-poor, weak nations. In actuality the USA is the #1 terrorist nation in the world Amerifags :-p Take that!}}'''
*<s>[http://backtobasicsamericawebsite.com A typical website by a concerned American! Notice the grammar.]</s> (dead)
*'''{{archive|d0beC|Escape From America Magazine. ''America – The Grim Truth''}}'''
*'''{{archive|pMbqB|A photo collection of average Americans}}'''
*[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-207079/Evolution-banned-US-schools.html Evolution is banned from US schools]

{{Unitedstates}}
{{commonwealth}}

{{Britfags}}
{{Timeline|Featured article July 3, [[2010]]|[[Canadia]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Anna Chapman]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article June 4 & July 5, [[2012]]|[[Lil B]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Tablecow]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 4, [[2017]]|[[Plastic Surgery]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Trona]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article July 4, [[2018]]|[[Mikese Morse]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Marijuana Addiction]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 3 & 4, [[2021]]|[[Fat Girl Angle Shot]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Bill Cosby]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now July 4, [[2022]]|[[Brenton Tarrant]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Robert Crimo]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 2 & July 3, [[2024]]|[[Mexico]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[4th of July]]}}

[[Category:America| ]]
[[Category:Countries]]