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Code Geass

2024-11-26T16:37:52Z

Feverflow:

{{Spoiler|OMG LELOUCH GOES AN HERO BY GETTING SUZAKU BE THE NEW ZERO AND KILLS LELOUCH, BUT THEN IT IS ALL LIES BECAUSE LELOUCH FAKED HIS DEATH(again)}}
[[Image:Lastgeassepisode.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The ending scene.]]

'''Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion''' is a [[mechanophile|yaoi mecha]] animu noted for its [[retarded|wannabe clever and original]] plot. It became the [[the cancer]] of /a/ for the [[Last Thursday|whole summer of 2008]].

The show was created when [[pizza|Pizza Hut]], thinking they could get a bigger piece of the Japanese global market, began writing and producing what would eventually become a new anime that would include [[Bullshit|innovative and brand-new]] elements [[Old media|never seen before]] in the genre: [[Gundam Wing|giant robots]], [[Iraq|large-scale military invasions]], heaps upon heaps of [[necrophilia|still-attractive bishie corpses]] and [[Anna Nicole Smith|more tits than a ''Playboy'' shoot]]. These were all included in an effort to attract [[13-year-old boys|a wider audience]]. The show was largely subsidized by [[Japan]], so the show also features a staggering amount of the [[bullshit]] post-war [[conspiracy|propaganda]] that Japan has so desperately tried to feed the world.

The result was [[One Piece|yet]] [[Inuyasha|another]] [[Naruto|crappy,]] [[Yu-Gi-Oh|unoriginal]] [[Bleach|anime]].

==The Show==
The anime takes place in an alternative-history world where [[Japan]] has gotten [[pwned]] by the [[England|Holy Empire of Britannia]] thanks to the latter's giant rollerskate-wearing robots, which are [[dubious disclaimer|clearly more effective]] than tanks and other conventional weapons—an absurdity, as we see later on that rocket-launchers can fuck them up.

[[Image:Britannia.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The coat of arms of the Holy Britannian Empire consist of a [[penis|Serpent]] and a [[JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!]]]]

Despite having killer-cool mecha (and lots of [[lesbian|female military officers]] with [[epic win|e-size tits]]), Britannia is still just a bunch of [[British]] [[french|Francophone]] [[Nazis]], who want to [[Awesome|take over the world]] and do what [[Hitler]] would [[holocaust|have done]] had he not [[an hero|put bullets in his head]].

And because the Japanese love them some [[Pelosi kills Rickrolling|historical revisionism]] almost as much as [[list of sex moves|increasingly bizarre sex practices]], they have taken great pains to ensure that no one notices that Britannia [[irony|is doing everything the Japanese did to the Chinese]] during [[World War II]].

===First Season===
[[Lyndon Larouche|Lelouch Lamperouge]] is the repulsively unlikable [[attention whore|main character]]—a pretentious [[bitch]] who lives his life in the lap of luxury, surrounded by [[vagina|beautiful women]] [[gay|whom he has absolutely no attraction to]]. This self-indulgent lifestyle apparently is not enough for the spoiled aristocratic cunt, so for the sake of the plot ([[divide by zero|and nothing else]]) he one day wakes up with a terrible case of [[butthurt]] over [[Shit nobody cares about|the way the Japanese people are being treated]].

He enthusiastically joins up with the local [[basement dweller|Japanese revolutionaries]], but because he didn't have an invitation he had to [[oral sex|convince them]] that he was worthy. Reluctant to admit his [[fagolescence|sexual preferences]], Lulu (his nickname—as if you didn't think he was gay already) was suddenly [[almost raped|accosted]] by a green-haired [[bitch]] everybody thought to be dead—in doing so, he promptly receives [[Death Note|unique paranormal superpowers]] called "Geass" (moar liek "Gayass", amirite?).

Things get needlessly complicated when it turns he's the son of the [[Lioncash|Emperor of Britannia]] himself, but because Lelouch is so [[internet tough guy|noble and true]] to his word, he sallies forth to perform [[White Knighting|heroic]] acts [[for great justice]] against his father's [[Jewnited States of Americunts|evil political state]]. He does so with the pretentious insistence that he, a [[Karl Rove|strategic genius]], can never be defeated, despite [[pwnt|getting his ass handed to him]] about every other episode.

[[Image:Partyhardgeass.gif|right|frame|Yeah, Euphie! Go on with ya bad self!]]

His fiancé is [[fag|Suzaku Kururugi]], a green-eyed, brown-haired [[Azn]] (because clearly Azns always have green eyes and brown hair) who has decided to join the Britannians because he firmly believes in his [[asspie|childhood ideals]]. Although the two are engaged to be married, they only fight when they're [[internet|inside their Mechs]] because they don't know they're actually not enemies... kinda like [[Death Note|another anime]] you may have seen.

Lelouch declares himself the [[White Knighting|defender of justice]], calling himself "Zero," a name and number which the Japanese seem to have a weird [[fetish]] for. After creating the [[Monty Python|Black Knights]] as a kind of [[Watchmen|pathetic vigilante group]], he starts to [[ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH|fight back against his own nation]].

During the course of the show (and again, [[divide by zero|for no particular reason]]), Lulu finds his awesomely hot sister [[Hillary Clinton|Euphemia]], who professes a pressing need for [[furry|white and fluffy]] storyline development. Lulu objects, but after being offered to get [[incest|into her sister's panties]] (no, [[srsly]], there's that one episode where he says his sis was his first [[fuck|love]]) he readily reconsiders.

The two of them gather [[over 9000|a whole lot]] of people in a closed stadium surrounded by armed military men—always an [[unrealistic expectations|auspicious start]] for creating a "white and fluffy world." While there, Euphemia asks Lulu to go to a dark backroom, where he [[I accidentally X|accidentally her]], causing the bitch to spontaneously go where [[Warren G. Harding|Harry Truman]] pussed out and give some Japs the [[wrestling|smackdown]] they so richly deserve. She [[VT|grabs herself a gun]] and starts to [[party hard|party down like a pro]].

Lulu, in order to hide the fact that he [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|made such a colossal error]], kills her, causing yet another [[Fullmetal Alchemist|needless character death]] (there are several in this anime and it's not even ''done'' by Gainax). Watch the [[JewTube]] clip to catch all the filthy action:

<center><youtube>7JQ4sWzXPiA</youtube></center>

He then proceeds to go on an epic [[cocksucking rampage|rampage]] against the Britannians and [[doesn't afraid of anything]]. He raises a [[superpower|huge fucking army]], and almost takes over Japan, before his army of [[retards|inept morons]] goes down in [[epic fail|spectacular failure]] and start to lose the second [[retard|Lelouch]] leaves to go save his useless, whiny, blind, cripple [[loli]] sis. Lelouch's army apparently forgot there's a reason why Britannia controls 2/3rds of the world.

When he arrives to the place he thought he'd find his worthless [[cunt]] of a sister, [[a challenger appears]] to start the decisive battle...and the [[Rage|WHOLE MOTHER FUCKING SEASON ENDS RIGHT THEN AND THERE]].

===Second Season (R2)===
The story should have ended there, but no... just when you thought it [[Spengbab|couldn't get any worse]], it always [[pain series|does]].

You see, [[at least 100 years ago|one day]], some executives from Sunrise (the morons that made this [[Ray Jones|confused mess]] of an animu) decided to communally smoke some expensive [[marijuana|weed]] to get inspiration for new ideas. This proved to be a [[epic fail|terrible mistake]], as they all agreed in their [[Blagogate|collectively impaired judgment]] to make a second season for ''Code Geass''.

This happens quite a lot: <s>a good</s> anime [[Gurren Lagann|will go horrifyingly down the shitter when an addition is made to the original story]]. And because [[World War II|the Japanese never learn from their mistakes]], a second season had to be made for ''Code Geass'' as well so that it, too, could be [[Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich|epically ruined]].
[[Image:Geass341.jpg|right|thumb|430px|Lelouch ''finally'' puts those powers of his to good use.]]
It was already clear for the viewers that this continuation would be a bigass trainwreck from the get-go when a new lead character, [[Jett Travolta|Rolo]], was introduced. It didn't take [[Stephen Colbert|a genius]] to figure that this [[Chris Crocker|whiny faggot]] would prove to be the improbable animu version of [[FurAffinity|Scrappy-Doo]]—a younger, stupider, uglier, infinitely more annoying version of the main character.

Things could only get worse from there: the continuity of the entire fucking show was totally ignored, [[copypasta|so that the first seven episodes were made by following the same damn scenario as the first season]], leaving [[weeaboo|the viewers]] to wonder whether this new incarnation of ''Code Geass'' will be a similar [[fail|disappointment]] as ''[[Higurashi]]'', a.k.a [[loli|''Nipah~'']], where the timeline is reset practically every episode.

And so, after re-experiencing the whole plot, the viewer is treated to what amounts to a gigantic animated clusterfuck: Lelouch finds himself owning the entire [[world]] having made [[bullshit|a pretty fair trade-in of China against Japan]]. He is now surrounded by an entirely new cast (of course), including a [[Chinese]] [[loli|princess]] and her pedo knight, a [[Incest|fake brother]] that Lelouch intends to use and dump later, as well hundreds of [[X is not your personal army|other nations leaders]] that he infected with [[Herpes|Geass]] so that they would join him. So he finds himself being the new [[A challenger appears|leader of half of the world]], and goes on to [[W|kick his father's ass]] who owns the other half.

The plot jumps to [[Brandon Crisp|Rolo]] taking Lelouch to the [[West Virginia|Wonderland of Joy]], and dying from the [[Seaking|divine punishment]] of using the [[Za Warudo]] move that was way too cool for a [[faggot]] like him. Lelouch suddenly (once again, [[divide by zero|for no particular reason]]) finds his [[Mindfuck|sense of purpose in life]]...and then [[LARP|levels up]] his Geass to level 50 to battle against a [[LOL WUT|floating Jupiter-like thing]] on the ceiling that came from a [[basement dweller|hidden dimension in his basement]]. By this point, no one who watched the show [[Rickroll|knew what the fuck was going on]].

Lelouch finally makes good on his engagement to Suzaku and [[Marriage is love|happily marries him]]... but then finds himself in a world turned [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZRwol_qFW4 upside down face], so now in control of the [[bad]] guy's side half of the world, fighting against the good guys.

Ironically despite making absolutely [[Epic|NO FUCKING SENSE]], this is the best the show ever gets, Lelouch stops being a whiney bitch and just acts like a total dick.

This is eventually ruined by the ending of course.

[[Retarded|Happy Ending]][[oneoneone|!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!111111!!!!1111111111!!!]]
<youtube>-Sc1cSx7iWo</youtube>

[[Image:CodeGayass.png|thumb|right|300px|[[Wikipedia|TOW]] makes sure you always find what you're looking for.]]

===Hey, It Happens All the Time===
Apparently the people that made ''Code Geass'' thought it a [[epic fail|bright idea]] to make every episode end [[samefag|the same way]] in order to make the show popular. Despite what many with [[common knowledge|common sense]] would readily figure out, all the [[otaku|loyal fans]] still took [[Delicious cake|the bait]].

At the end of each episode, one or more of these [[lie|totally unpredicted]] happenings occur:
*Good guy becomes bad guy
*Bad guy becomes good guy
*Unexpected truth is revealed
*[[Fullmetal Alchemist|One of the main characters dies]]
*Somebody turns out to actually [http://are-are.net/2008/09/22/code-geass-r2-stage-24-again-fleia-is-not-a-very-effective-weapon/ not to be dead] even after getting a goddam [[Ronald Reagan|nuke dropped on them]].

===Opening Themes===
Like many animu, ''Code Geass'' features [[over 9000|way too many]] opening sequences and songs to go with them. Here's a rundown:

*'''Flow - COLOURS'''
<s>huge, booming, [[epic]] anthem that [[you fail it|impresses nobody]] because it clearly [[trying too hard|tries way too fucking hard]]</s>
'''JIBUN WOOOOOOOOO~'''
*'''Jinn - "Kaidoku Funou"'''
A Japanese girl shrieking into a microphone in a [[fail|failed effort]] to "sing", ending up sounding more like the audio to some [[sick fuck|weird porno]] with a Japanese girl shrieking into a microphone while scraping her [[vagina]] with sandpaper over a guitar track being played by some hobo they found on a street corner.
*'''Access - "Hitomi no Tsubasa"'''
Mind-melting, ultra-hyper explosion of glittery, super-saccharine [[J-Rock|J-Techno]] from [[gay|the people]] that brought you the soundtrack to ''[[Gravitation]]''. Listening to it will make the world [[LSD|seem sparkly and wonderful]].
*'''Orange Range - "02"'''
The same guys who did the first [[Bleach]] opening bring you <s>a semi-crappy J-rock/rap that leaves you dissatisfied.</s> '''I continue to fight!!!'''
*'''Flow - "World End"'''
The dudes from OP 1 are back with an even [[MOAR]] overly-epic theme song. This one is on every [[weeaboo]] fangirl's MP3 player.

'''When These Powers Combine:''' The fan-made OP below combines the best parts of the OPs to make a truly [[EPIC]] video. (Sry for being [[srs]].)

<youtube>x2CnOcxHgkY</youtube>

===Those Damn Robots===
If you'd like to know more about the [[mechanophile|sexy mecha]] featured in ''Code Geass'', [http://are-are.net/2008/05/16/code-geass-r2-6-how-do-i-rehashed-previously-used-concepts/ take a look here]. Yes, it's text. Shut up and click.

==Characters==
*'''[[Lyndon Larouche|Lelouch]]''': Main character of the series. Watched ''[[Anonymous|V For Vendetta]]'' one too many times and decided to go for it because, well, he has superpowers, after all. Nicknamed "Lulu". [[Srsly|No, really]]. Also has a strange tendency to [[pwnt|mercilessly kill]] people around him for no apparent reason, perhaps because of their knowledge of his [[gay|true sexuality]] and the fact that his name sounds very much like "the douche." He was recently caught homosexually making out with his "theoretical enemy" Suzaku Kururugi. (Milly Ashford recently informed the media about this information.) He is also known as Zero, a super anti-hero that wins his battles by [[ADHD|weird hand gestures]].

[[Image:SuzakuAwesome.jpg‎|thumb|left|Even Suzaku can be [[awesome]] sometimes.]]

*'''[[Tom Cruise|<s>Suzaku</s>]]''' Subaru: Lelouch's [[boyfriend|childhood friend]]. Had the bright idea that [[facepalm|killing his dad would bring peace and joy, and stop Britannia from taking over Japan]]. Even after his anus was [[goatse|made three times larger]] by his Britannian fellow soldiers, he still [[retard|keeps on believing]] he does it all for a [[for great justice|a righteous and worthy cause]]. He also has superpowers the show never bothers to explain, mostly because the writers were doing [[at least 100]] lines of coke.

[[Image:Destroybritania.jpg|thumb|right|250px|How Lelouch imagines it, using the same irritating chess metaphor every episode.]]

*'''[[Brandon Crisp|Rolo]]''': An [[13 year old boy|16 year old boy]] who is clearly [[asking for it]] like the demented [[fanboy]] that he is. He keeps humping <s>his brother's</s> Lelouch's leg with hopes to fulfill [[Buttsecks|his dream]] of becoming [[fagolescence|just like him]]. He can cast [[Za Warudo]], but because of his [[faggotry|inherent weaknesses]], the results are always [[An Hero|embarrassingly bad]].

*'''[[TITTY MONSTER|C.C.]]''': Lelouch's [[cumslut]] and the only thing that keeps his gay urges in line. Without her Lelouch would probably have died in a ditch a long time ago, but then again that might have been for the better. C.C. is a connoisseur of foods, enjoying [[Shit|some of the best pizza ever made]], by [[Lie|one of the greatest pizza places ever created]]: [[Pizza Bomb|Pizza Hut.]] C.C. is always ready to smack a bitch up when they don't listen to her, which often leaves Lelouch a major target for both physical and emotional abuse.

[[File:KallensFantasy.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Kallen's biggest fantasy.]]

*'''[[Nevada-tan|Kallen]]''': A pink-haired half-Azn who joins the Black Knights, despite being half-Azn she has [[No|red hair and blue eyes and can pass as white]]. Absolutely the biggest whore in the series, she would seemingly do anything for her [[stalker|boyfriend]] Zero. However, because of Zero's lack of interest in fucking her loose cunt, she contemplates the possibility of death and nearly succeeds in killing herself. She spends the majority of the time mounting a Knightmare while fantasizing of it being Lelouch. It should be noted that Kallen doesn't get a whole lot of screen-time, [[Fanservice|because in fact her ass is more famous than she is, taking up most of the screen-time of the entire show.]]
[[Image:euphie.gif|left]]

*'''[[Hillary Clinton|Princess Euphemia]]''': She's a homicidal freak continuously pretending to be in love with Suzaku when she actually wishes to be a porn star at playboy. Eventually she has kills many because she didn't get the lead for playboy. Shortly afterwards, Euphemia (aka Euphie) gets killed by her brother because she flirted with Suzaku. ((yay for her death!))

*'''[[Kike|Ohgi]]''': While he pretends to be a Jap, his [[African|curly hair]] and the [[Holocaust|yellow badge]] from the [[Hitler|Third Reich]] on his jacket all reveal that he is in fact a Jew. He was one of the original terrorists, which should surprise nobody, as it is well-known that Jews [[Jews did WTC|delight in doing terrible things to the world]].

*'''[[Ann Coulter|Villetta Nu]]''': A silver-haired tanorexic [[bitch]] who is significant only because she was one of the first people Lelouch [[raped|mindfucked]], and because you get to see her [[tits]] as well. Later on she [[Soap opera|gets amnesia]] and [[In the kitchen|lives with]] the token Jew of the show (Ohgi) until he [[Pregnant|impregnates]] her at the end of the 2nd season.

*'''[[Lioncash|XCVIII Emperor of Britannia, Charles di Britannia]]''': The emperor of 2/3rds of the world, he's also a massive [[Evangelion]] fanboy who thought it would be a [[nice try|cool idea]] to copy the plot, and do a shitty job of it. His favorite quotes are [[OH GOD BILL|"ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!"]] and [[Republican|"People are not equal."]] He dies by turning into a [[cock|magical rocket]]. He seems to have been the only unambiguously heterosexual man in his family, and [[secks|going for it]] so much that the number of his legitimate [[baby|potential successors]] alone is measurable in ''[[over 9000|three fucking digits]]''. Not mentioning the fact that he admitted having [[WTF|preserved Lulu's mom's original body]] so that he could [[Necrophilia|use it later]]. Also, his twin brother is a total creep.

*'''[[Jesus is Hitler|Schneizel el Britannia]]''': Lelouch's big bro who has a truly irritating habit of [[Gary Oak|showing up at inopportune times]] and, resultingly, [[GTFO|turning whatever episode he appears into prime horseshit]]. An excellent example of how the males in ''Code Geass'' are all [[bishie syndrome|sickeningly pretty]]. His retarded name is an endless source of [[lulz|humour at his expense]].

*'''[[Budd Dwyer|Clovis la Britannia]]''': <s>Another of Lelouch's big bros and</s> Dude it doesn't matter, [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|he got his brains blown out in the third fucking episode]].

*'''[[Sarah Palin|Marianne]]''': Lelouch's mother and one of Emperor Charles' [[whore|concubines]]. She's <s>dead</s> <s>still alive</s> dead, and <s>is</s> was a [[whore]] for her entire life.

*'''[[Insane|Jeremiah Gottwald]]''': A member of the Brittanian army gone batshit crazy cyborg. Goes fucking insane at the end of season one, then goes to Lelouch's side in the name of [[Faggotry|LOYALTY!!!]]. Also pilots a gigantic fucking orange. Also known to cancel Lelouch's gayass power.

*'''[[Babyfuck|Nunnally]]''': [[Disabled Village Children|Crippled]], whiny, ignorant, pretentious whore who happens to be Lelouch's [[Incest|sister]]. After [[Goggles|doing nothing]] throughout the whole thing, it turns out at the end she not only [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|faked being blind the entire time]], but also somehow botched the opportunity to [[apocalypse|destroy the entire world]]. Why? Because she's a damn cripple, and she's going to [[Hell]] (and you could see her nipples in one of the episodes).

*'''[[Mary Sue|Li Xingke]]''': The [[China|Chinese]] guy that appears in the second season. He's a combination of both Lelouch and Suzaku, except he's less [[gay]] and less [[retarded]], which seems to [[divide by zero|contradict]] the entire show. He's also an active [[Pedobear|pedo]].

*'''[[Bikerfox|Diethard]]''': [[Sarcasm|Supercool]] news reporter with equally [[sarcasm|supercool]] news reporter hair. He is only good for two things: [[an hero|getting shot]] and crying like [[Your Mom|a bitch]] in the final episodes, and the fact that his name [[LOL WUT|forms an exact rhyme]] with "[[retard]]".

*'''[[Bitch|Nina]]''': A [[fugly]] xenophobic failure both at life [[an hero|and death]], only good for being useless, acting racist against Japanese people, [[WTF|raping tables]], and having the inexplicable surname [[Wikipedia:List of Code Geass characters#Nina Einstein|"Einstein"]]. Oh, and she also invents a [[Internets|nuke]], not that anyone cares. She has a one-sided, [[rape|obsessive lesbian love affair]] with [[Hillary Clinton|Princess Euphemia]], and has an epic freakout when Lelouche kills her. See the [[Jewtube]] vid on how she rapes the table. Judging by the sound effects, her vagina has the texture of sandpaper.

*'''[[Rapist|Gino]]''': A [[fugly]] homicidal [[rapist]] who is sexually attracted to Lelouch until one day Suzaku buries him alive. He serves no point to the story other than to try to seduce Kallen, but his moves fail on her, because he is clearly a dirty Mexican Jew.

*'''[[Loli|Anya]]''': Emotionless Rei Clone that starts appearing in the Second Season, completely boring with no personality, yet so many people like her. In reality she is Lelouch's Mom, which further begs the Question "How?". Bandai wanted her to be the New Rei and get lots of merchandise made of her, but they failed because they are Bandai.
<center><youtube>ezwhZC4R-eI</youtube></center>

There's also like [[at least 100|a hundred]] other characters in this show that [[nobody cares]] about or remembers.

==FAQ For Fags==
[[Image:Geass.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Oh sure, yeah, [[emo|I'd be crying too]] if I had all that ridiculous power.]]

Because ''Code Geass'' just might be the most confused thing you've yet seen on [[YouTube|your television]] next to the [[OVER 9000|six-hundred million]] or so filler episodes of ''[[Naruto]]'', here's a quick rundown of the questions that will inevitably arise:

===Just What the Hell Is This "Geass" Crap, Anyway?===
Geass, also pronounced as [[goatse|"gay-ass"]], is a [[herpes|sexually transmitted disease]] that modifies your DNA and gives you amazing powers. [[LARP|This skill can be leveled up]], and by reaching the [[IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!|level 99]] you can gain access to [[God Mode]].

Lelouch's "Geass" ability is to make anyone do whatever he wants, no matter how absurd or immoral. Regrettably, [[rape|what he really should have used it for]] never appears in the series, but then again, that's what [[Yaoi]] fanfiction is for, [[amirite]]?

'''Pro Tip:''' "Geass" is a variation of an ancient [[Celtic]] word that means "contract" or "curse".

===Wait, Haven't I Seen This Shit Before?===
Why yes, [[Common knowledge|yes you have]].

After watching a few episodes, you'll get a strange feeling of [[mindfuck|déjà vu]]. You see, this plot was originally played out on ''[[Death Note]]''.

The main difference between ''Code Geass'' and ''[[Death Note]]'' is that the latter is about creepy [[emo]] kids, while the former is about significantly-less-creepy-and-emo [[terrorist]] and [[Fascist]] kids—although both contain the seemingly mandatory overload of [[yaoi|delicious Japanese homolust]].

Both contain and equal amount of tiresomely ambiguous homosexual situations, as if [[Naruto|Shounen Jump]] needed any more [[faggotry]].

===You Mean They Made A Manga Too?===
[[Image:Powarg.jpg|thumb|right|185px|It may be even [[X in my y|less original than you think]].]]

Well, [[DO IT FAGGOT|duh]].

Someone had the bright idea to add some mango to this ghastly train-wreck of an animu—in fact, to add several mangos that all have various degrees of [[failure]] to account for.

The best known of these [[My Immortal|gems of literature]] is ''Nightmare of Nunnally'', where Lelouch's helpless, worthless, whiny, stupid, and [[Rick Santorum|just plain annoying]] sister Nunnally suddenly gets [[OH GOD BILL|amazing superpowers]]. She can summon a stylish mecha that [[lie|looks totally nothing like]] something from [[Neon Genesis Evangelion]], has the ability to see into the [[future]] and, most importantly, she can create a doppelgänger to finally satisfy [[lesbian|her natural needs]]—as she's a [[cripple]] and can't [[masturbation|reach it]] otherwise.

However, the [[Conspiracy|actual manga]] has remained hidden for a [[100 years ago|very long time]], and only recently has a link to it been discovered. [http://akibakko.net/tag/code_geachu/page/2 Click here] to discover the true meaning of [[TL;DR]].

==Code Geass Videos ([[Hentai|Shameless fan-service]] included.)==

<center>{{Frame|{{fv|dm91vids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>9FbuFlyeklk</youtube>
|<youtube>V1c0Lle01_M</youtube>
|<youtube>AklJbg4u_i8</youtube>
|<youtube>u9QLnsDXBp8</youtube>
}}|border=white|background=white}}</center>

==Rating==
[[Image:Geassgeass.jpg|thumb|right|350px|Sweet delicious [[yaoi]], yes sir.]]

*''Characters'': 2/10 Suck
*''Story'': 3/10 Partially because of R2 but mainly because it sucks
*''Action'': 9/10. It's about taking over teh world and giant robots, after all.
*''Lulz'': 4/10. The parts where it tries to be funny, fails. There are exceptions: the moment when a [[chink]] named [[Mao]] tries to chainsaw C.C. and [[Guro|stuff her into a bag]], and when the Britfags decide to [[kill it with fire|burn down]] the Jap ghetto and shoot all the motherfuckers [[I did it for the lulz|for teh lulz]].
*''Faggotry'': 20/10. Out of all [[animu]] you'd ever watch, this one doesn't even need to be [[shooped]] to look gay, screenshots alone are enough. The way main characters look and dress (and ''jump'') are shockingly homosexual, especially the combined efforts of Lelouch and Suzaku. Gayness is outright implied in more than a few parts: when Rolo approaches Lulu saying, "I will be always with you" and, and practically every other conversation between Lelouch and Suzaku. Just look for [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy8i-Szbc4Y "OH GEASS NO"] on [[YouTube]].
*''Furry Fandom'': 4/10. They dress up in animal costumes for some reason in one episode, and the pink-haired cumwhore dresses as a giant [[Fursuit|green beaver]] in another.
*''Product Placement'': 30/10. Just for the Hell of it, try taking a shot every time you see a Pizza Hut logo. Be warned: you may die of alcohol poisoning.
{{Clear}}

==Image Gallery Vi Brittania==
{{cg|Code Geass Gallery|codegeassgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Code_Geass_pizza_order_gif.gif
Image:PoorLelouche.gif|Lelouch, [[goatse|getting what he deserved]].
Image:I came!.jpg|That crazy bitch sure does have a great O-face.
Image:CCCum.jpg|She's who the fanboys fap to every night..
</gallery>|
<gallery>
Image:VileTTaTits.jpg|Humongous tits seem to be part of Britannia's domestic policy.
Image:Geassmongler.jpg|Watch ''Code Geass'', receive [[Cockmongler|cock mongling]].
Image:NuNNalypedo.jpg|C'mere and give [[Pedobear]] a hug!
Image:CodeGeassNeko.jpg|As if the show wasn't gay enough, it turns out that the protagonists are [[closet furries]].
Image:SuzakuDoesItWrong.jpg|Suzaku does it [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|completely and utterly wrong]].
Image:Maodominos.jpg|Mao tries to please C.C. but ends up [[dead]]. Um, [[spoiler]] alert?
Image:Geassrl.jpg|A [[IRL|live action]] ''Geass'' movie is also planned.
Image:Milley.jpg|You're desperate. She didn't even take it all off yet.
Image:emporer.png|We are not amused.
Image:Geassad1.jpg|Looks like all that [[attention whore|aggressive advertising]] really paid off.
Image:Geassad2.jpg|Pizza Hut, which serves Coca-Cola, reveals another marketing strategy.
Image:Twohearts.jpg|Boy, talk about poor timing.
Image:KallenBooB.jpg|Kallen finally proves she's good for [[prostitute|something]]
Image:Suzakudance.jpg|Suzaku attacks Lelouch using [[Za Warudo|an amazing new technique]]...
Image:Suzakutop.jpg|...so he can show his boyfriend who's boss.
Image:Stumpslut1.jpg|Touching moment, or horror movie? You decide.
Image:Stumpslut2.jpg|Lelouch thinks Suzaku has a been a ''very'' bad boy.
Image:Stumpslut3.jpg|...what.
Image:Notthisshitagain.jpg|Comic relief for a show that was unfunny to begin with.
Image:Notthisshitagain1.jpg|Subtitles telling it like it is.
Image:OhyeeahGeass.gif|Sorry...didn't mean to bother...
Image:Geassbankai.jpg|A complicated ''[[Bleach]]'' joke superimposed on a confusing [[divide by zero|plot-twist]] that occurs in the second season.
Image:Geassfaggotry.jpg|You know an anime sucks when the main character looks gay even when he's escaping certain doom.
Image:LelouchCC.jpg|Lelouch fails to deliver yet again.
Image:2ndgeass.jpg|[[Cute|Aww, don't~]]
Image:Code_Geass_ShirleyxKallen.jpg|Lelouch's refusal of teh pussy made the girls desperate.
Image:Code_Geass_Shirley_fucked.jpg|Lelouch wishes!
</gallery>}}

==See also==
*[[Britfag]]
*[[Japan]]
*[[Death Note]]
*[[Nazi]]
*[[Genocide]]
*[[Homosexuality]]
*[[Final Fantasy Tactics]]
*[[My Little Pony]]

==External links==
*[http://www.yaoiunlimited.com/photogallery.php?album_id=22 More ''Code Geass'' yaoi than you can handle.]

{{anime}}

[[Category:Anime]]

Touhou

2024-11-25T21:01:39Z

Feverflow:

[[Image:Pichuun.png|thumb|260px|[[Butthurt|Leaking and bleeding]] - that's what happens when you don't utilise focused movement.]]
'''Touhou''' (東方), or the '''Touhou Project''', refers to a series of overhead shooting [[video game|game]]s created and developed by an [[alcoholic]] [[Japan|Japanese]] [[pedophile]] named Zun. First developed for the [[PC-98|NEC PC-9801]] line of computers, the games are now developed for [[Windows]] to better enable total world domination. The Touhou series is a pioneer of the ''danmaku shooter'' genre of [[video game]]s, featuring several elements essential to any good [[Japan|Japanese]] video game, including [[epilepsy|rapidly flashing lights]], MIDI music and [[lolicon|little girls]]. The characters in Touhou are very static and boring, yet despite this, they are all over the fucking internet, essentially making Touhou the Japanese equivalent of [[Team Fortress 2]]. Since its conception, Touhou has done its capitalist nation proud by rapidly becoming the most successful franchise in [[Azn|Asian]] geekdom since the used tampon industry.

==The Gameplay==
[[Image:Danmaku-bullets.jpg|thumb|WTF Y U THROW ALL THAT SHIT AT ME FOR]]
[[Image:1942-screen.png|thumb|Touhou in easy mode.]]
{{quote|touhou aint games it's a psych test for OCD|[[fag|a Famous Touhou Player]]}}
{{quote|HOLY FUCK, THIS GAME IS IMPOSSIBLE, EVEN THE BULLETS SHOOT BULLETS|[[basement-dweller|another Touhou player]]}}

Unlike most Japanese games made for the PC, Touhou disappointingly does not revolve around tentacle rape, ordinary rape, or even [[Lesbian|dyke]] rape (don't worry, there's plenty of fan-made hentai doujins that have such content). Instead, the Touhou games are populated by an unnaturally wide selection of [[loli|underage girls]] flying over vast and breathtaking landscapes, shooting the living fuck out of each other with thousands upon thousands of [[Fag|colourful]] bullets, referred to collectively as "danmaku".

[[Image:Wonderland.png|thumb|A child's depiction of danmaku.]] Danmaku (弾幕) is not the name of a [[dead]] CBS newscaster; it is a Japanese word that means "bullet curtain" or "curtain fire". It describes quite aptly the way Touhou rapes its player with an apocalyptic hail of colorful death, raining down on your flying 16 year old girl like a [[gay pride]] parade from the lowest and darkest layer of [[Hell]]. All this shit raining down on you basically turns Touhou from a point-and-shoot game to an [[ALL CAPS|OH-GOD-HOW-THE-FUCK-DO-I-GET-OUT-OF-THE-WAY]] game. Obviously, these games are for [[You|retards]], and whoever originally wrote this subsection. One common side-effect of playing Touhou games is massive [[epilepsy|seizures]]. Another common side-effect is [[Homosexuality|danmaku sickness]], wherein the sufferer is adversely affected when faced with sets of brightly-coloured or shiny objects; Touhou players are notorious for fucking up their cars in nighttime traffic accidents. It is not uncommon to find one driving in the wrong lane, attempting to graze oncoming traffic and [[Murder|collect]] pedestrians for extra points. The only people who are immune to these side effects are blind kung-fu masters and/or people who need to get [[sex|laid]]. A third side effect is being uncontrollably [[Stupid|stupid]] as a result of playing such a shitty game when you could be [[Fap|masturbating]] or playing a game that doesn't [[Jessi Slaughter|suck cock]]. (See: the original author of this subsection.)

[[Image:Touhou easy mode how lame.png|thumb|left|If you play on easy mode, women will make fun of the size of your dick for the rest of your life. Also see Japanese women laughing at [http://www.onemanga.com/Otaku_no_Musume-san/25/15/ FAILS]]]
Touhou comes in several flavours: easy, normal, hard, fucking hard, extra fucking hard, lunatic, and WTF. Easy mode is generally reserved for elementary school kids and paraplegics. If you play Touhou on easy mode, it is suggested that you [[an hero]] immediately, as only babies play on easy mode(especially considering Touhou is one of the easier danmakus out there.).

==The Musics==

Apart from the [[retarded|seizure-tastic gameplay]], one of Touhou's key attractions (!) is its music. [[Bullshit|No, really]]. Despite being MIDI music, a lot of it is actually [[Shit|pretty good]] and has been remixed into some surprisingly [[Emo|kick-ass shit]]. It is a well known fact that anyone who likes Touhou music [[Daveykins|loves cock]] and [[AIDS|has aids]]. Anyone with [[German|real taste]] knows to stay far the fuck away from [[girlvinyl|Touhou music]].

A few of the original songs are so [[Bad|good]] that they have become [[Internet famous]] all on their own. For instance, if you have ever been [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssh71hePR8Q McRolled], you have listened to Touhou music:

<div align="center">{{frame|<youtube>Ssh71hePR8Q</youtube>|border=#B83E3E|background=#B83E3E}}</div>
{{quote|[[False|FACT]]: Every Touhou newfag has seen McRoll. Please give them [[rape|the proper hazing ritual]].}}

===IOSYS===

IOSYS is a file in your Windows folder that is necessary for Touhou to play its music files correctly. Before attempting to play Touhou you should remove this file from C:\, place it in your Touhou folder and reboot your computer so that the change can take effect. As an homage to this important file, most Touhou music on the interbutts is marked as being made by IOSYS, regardless of who actually made the music... Or not. Don't worry - we [[fucktard]] [[Retards|Touhou fans]] [[Fact|have no idea what we're talking about]]. Feel free to ignore us.

<center><big>[http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x98tki_boder-of-extacy-r21-subtitle_videogames'''A Typical IOSYS Video]</big></center>
[[Image:Touhou_1001.png|center|600px|]]

<center>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U68s4JI22Zk '''<s>A Typical Reaction Afterwords</s>]</center>
<center><big>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yKSFxGhb9c '''A Typical Reaction Afterwords]</big></center>

==The Gr4phix==
[[Image:Zun_Designs.jpg|thumb|The secret to his success]]
To any game (especially [[Halo]]), [[Bullshit|there is an Achilles Heel]], [[Giant enemy crab|a weak point that can be attacked for massive damage]]. That weak point, in Touhou's case, must be [[Everything|its graphics]]. Touhou is probably the most successful video game to ever have survived with such fugly graphics. Zun does, of course, have the excuse of being piss ass drunk when he creates it. Thankfully, Touhou's huge fanbase means that a shitload of generally [[Shit|high-quality]] fanart is available to help you unsee the horror that is the official art.

===How to Draw like Zun===
A few simple design rules to keep in mind if you want to draw flying lolis like Zun:
#Blood alcohol level of at least .89 is mandatory when drawing.
#You must give your loli a hat, or some other head accessory. Without this, your loli will die.
#Remember, a fat face with big bug-eyes is mandatory. Use a Mr. Potato-Head for inspiration.
#To draw hair, look at a mop and let your imagination do the rest.
#Hide hands and fingers behind the back to avoid drawing them.
#The more bows, ribbons and frills, the better your character design.

==The Fans==
[[Image:CWCTouhou.jpg|thumb|upright|left|Even [[Chris-Chan|faggots]] can like Touhou.]]
[[Image:Teh Ultimate Guro.jpg|thumb|right|Teh Strongest [[Guro]] in Gensokyo?]]
[[Image:Poster26657221 no-shame.jpg|thumb|left|When Touhou collides with the product of a politically correct educational system, [[Cosplay|the results aren't pretty]].]]

The Touhou fandom is [[Religion|fanatical]] and [[Longcat|large]]. A mass that threatens to overtake [[JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure|Araki's]] and claim the space for itself. Devotion is a gross understatement to these basement dwellers; Touhou is not a game, it is a way of life, the only way that the God Emperor Zun approves of. Their investment into Touhou makes [[Scientology|cultists]] look like [[Christfag|ordinary peaceful church attendees]]. Touhou fans have a way of growing faster than mold 'on a bar bathroom. The extreme growth spurts can only be described by [[Over 9000|crushing your scouter while commenting on high numbers]]. Some spend their life in their basement bragging about being able to "no-death, no-bomb" through the games and bitching and whining about how their god ZUN is making the new games too easy for them (it could be that Zun is starting to give less of a shit about the games since he has a life now with his wife and kid). The fandom loves to whine about wanting some old fag character named Mina from PC 98 to appear in the windows versions; to the point, they made her an annoying meme whenever Zun makes new characters for his new games, or they just put her into their shitty fanmade game(s).

And like the bloated, bruised, and impregnated [[tentacle rape]] victim it is, the Touhou fandom has vomited from its bleeding birthing canal a shocking amount of amalgamated fan works. They range from poorly programmed carbon copies of the originals to dating sims that revolve around [[Shitting Dick Nipples|family values]]; [[Shit nobody cares about|there was even a fighting game made from it]]. Let's not forget the silly [[pokemon]] mod, [[Shit|Touhoumon]]. The only redeeming factor about the fan works is that they all invariably have better art than the originals.

The following video has [[at least 100%]] chance of inducing [[rage]] unto any "[[No_Life|hardcore]]" Touhou Fan.
<center>{{frame|<youtube>MiI6Tg1KohM</youtube>|border=#B83E3E|background=#B83E3E}}</center>

A typical Touhou fan trying to download one of the games while chatting on a shoutbox:

(24 May 2010 - 05:28 AM)fucking touhou 8 still has 4 more hours till it's finished downloading.

(24 May 2010 - 07:19 AM)4 minutes till touhou 8 is finished downloading.

(24 May 2010 - 07:20 AM)no wait 1

(24 May 2010 - 07:20 AM)1 minute till loli heaven.

(24 May 2010 - 07:23 AM)Ok where the fuck is my fucking touhou

(24 May 2010 - 07:26 AM)WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO

(24 May 2010 - 07:26 AM)I WANT MY FUCKING TOUHOU

(24 May 2010 - 07:27 AM)WHAT SORT OF CRUEL JOKE IS THIS

(24 May 2010 - 07:30 AM)OH THANK GOD FOUND IT

(24 May 2010 - 07:30 AM)*starts making out with computer screen*

(24 May 2010 - 07:30 AM)Ok enough of that

(24 May 2010 - 07:52 AM)Man I haven't played this game in awhile

(24 May 2010 - 07:52 AM)I have to play on fricken easy mode with the easiest characters

(24 May 2010 - 07:53 AM)Instead of my usual maid, vampire little girl combination

(24 May 2010 - 07:53 AM)Well time maid

===Touhou Anime Project===
<center>{{fv|Touhou Anime Project|background-color: #FF0000; align: center|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>MiR0MNMOTaw</youtube>
|<youtube>EOXtdZEw-Xo</youtube>
|<youtube>EjdnJTExL-Q</youtube>
|<youtube>QgbML4LTESM</youtube>
|<youtube>qT-8XBpCC64</youtube>
|<youtube>W2qujgikZEI</youtube>
}}</center>
Out of all the fans who make Touhou [[hentai|manga]] for others to [[fap|read]] or put Touhou IN FUCKING EVERYTHING, the one who made this shows that he is the true [[hardcore]] [[fan]] out of all of them. Wasting [[at least 100]] years of his life where he could have been doing something productive, he instead used them to make this. Many fans had a simultaneous orgasm and looked for the author begging for more, but apparently the creator realized he won't get laid with a woman for making anymore episodes because [[fact|all fans of Touhou are either pedophiles, lesbians, or pre-pubescent girls]]. With over a year since the first episode, many fans <del>moved on to fap to some other [[loli]] shit</del> are now fapping to the second episode.

==The ZUN==
[[Image:Zun Superman.jpg|thumb|right|100px|Fanart]]
[[Image:Zun god.jpg|center|600px|]]
[[File:Faces1.jpg|thumb|upright]]
[[Alcohol]]ic, [[pedophile]], [[god]]: whatever you want to call him, ZUN is everything a man can strive to be, a paragon of virtue and meaty muscle powered by vats of the finest spirits. Where ZUN treads, Touhou fans fall to their knees offering their [[Virgin|virgin]] mouths and buttholes to please their radiant emperor. Usually with alcohol.

Currently, he has no interest in exporting his games to America because in his words "Shmups are too hard for Americans"(Either that, or his blood type is [[beer|budweiser]]). And who can blame him for saying that when Americunts consider [[Call_of_Duty_4|Fail of Duty]] and [[Halo]] to be the hardest games they ever played (even though they're playing on fucking Easy Mode of all things)? [http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/English_patches However, western fans have created mods to change the game's dialogue from Moonspeak to English.] [[Baw|Not that it makes the games remotely easier]].

Despite people pirating his games, people who have met him has reported that he still lives like a king just from making games. Now's a good time to ask yourself what you're doing with your life because after you finish reading this line, ZUN just made even more money. Now is married and has a kid.

===Gallery===
<gallery>
File:Touhou Creator.jpg
</gallery>

==TAKE IT EASY!==
A meme involving giant, [[headshot|disfigured Touhou heads]]. Also known as '''Yukkuri''', they were first discovered on [[2chan]] when an Anon tried to make a Shift_JIS portrait of Reimu and Marisa and failed horribly, prompting the original fanart as a response (see below).

They are currently infesting every corner of the [[internets|interbutts]], and will continued to be reposted everywhere [[forced meme|until you like it]].

<pre style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',ＭＳＰゴシック,IPAMonaPGothic,Mona; font-size:1.5em; width:32em; margin:.2em auto .2em auto;">
　　 _,,....,,_　＿人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人＿
-''":::::::::::::｀''＞　　　ゆっくりしていってね！！！　　　＜
ヽ:::::::::::::::::::::￣^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^Ｙ^￣
　|::::::;ノ´￣＼:::::::::::＼_,. -‐ｧ　　　　　＿_　　 _____　　＿_____
　|::::ﾉ　　　ヽ､ヽr-r'"´　　（.__　　　　,´　_,, '-´￣￣｀-ゝ、_ イ、
_,.!イ_　　_,.ﾍｰｧ'二ﾊ二ヽ､へ,_7　　　'r ´　　　　　　　　　　ヽ、ﾝ、
::::::rｰ''7ｺ-‐'"´　　 ;　 ',　｀ヽ/｀7　,'＝=─-　　　　 -─=＝',　i
r-'ｧ'"´/　 /!　ﾊ　ハ　 !　　iヾ_ﾉ　i　ｲ　iゝ、ｲ人レ／_ルヽｲ i　|
!イ´ ,' |　/__,.!/　V　､!__ﾊ　 ,'　,ゝ　ﾚﾘｲi (ﾋ_] 　　　ﾋ_ﾝ ).| .|、i .||
`! 　!/ﾚi'　(ﾋ_] 　　　ﾋ_ﾝﾚ'i　ﾉ　　　!Y!""　 ,＿__, 　 "" 「 !ﾉ i　|
,'　ﾉ　 !'"　　 ,＿__,　 "' i .ﾚ'　　　　L.',.　　ヽ _ﾝ　　　　L」ﾉ| .|
　（　　,ﾊ　　　　ヽ _ﾝ　　人! 　　　　 | ||ヽ、　　　　　　 ,ｲ| ||ｲ| /
,.ﾍ,）､　　）＞,､ _____,　,.イ　ハ　　　　レル｀ー--─ ´ルﾚ　ﾚ´
</pre>

<center><gallery>
Image:Yukkuri.jpg|The original TAKE IT EASY
Image:That_fucking_cat_touhou.png‎|[[that fucking cat|That fucking chen!]]
Image:Rozenmaiden-touhou.jpg|[[Desu|Rozen Maiden]] version.
Image:Yukkuriponta.jpg|WTF
Image:Naruto-touhou.png|Yukkuri shitettebayo!
Image:MYTHBUSTED.png|[[Mythbusters|Oh god no!]]
Image:Waha Rumia Yukkuri.jpg|[[Waha]]~
Image:Yukkuri Remi Flan animooted.gif|SO MOE
Image:Huge-touhou-head-invasion.jpg|They Came From Outer Space
Image:Yukkuri-coming-for-you.jpg|Even the children are not safe!
Image:Yukkuri in my shiteitte ne.png|[[X? in my Y?|Yukkuri? in ''my'' shiteitte ne?]]
Image:Castlevania Yukkuri.gif|[[Castlevania|WHAT IS TAKE IT EASY?!]]
Image:Yukkuri impact.jpg|OH SHI-
Image:Yukkuri with legs wat.jpg|[[wat]]
Image:U_mad_animu.jpg|[[You Mad]]?
Image:Yukkurishidebu.jpg|Yukkuri s[[Hokuto no ken|HIDEBU!]]
Image:Abyuse.png|How to deal with the Yukkuri menace.
</gallery></center>
 
 
<center>{{fv|yukkuri|background-color: #FF0000; align: center|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>DHmsvGXm7QY</youtube>
|<youtube>uv3lPRHY-a8</youtube>
}}</center>

==Touhou and 4chan==

[[File:Touhouma.jpeg|center|800px]]

===The Hijack===

[[Image:Touhou Hijack.jpg|thumb|Stop making shitty threads or I'll fuck your shit up, ze~]]
[[Image:A chemo.jpg|thumb|The beginning of the end. Remember when /a/ was good?]]

'''Like the [[AIDS]] virus, Touhou came to 4chan.'''

The Touhou Hijack image, originally made popular by a Russian tripfag who wrote a large amount of [[Perl]] scripts in order to annoy the general population of /a/, was an ominous MS paint picture used to mark the beginning of a Touhou Hijack, a process where a shitty thread is descended upon with Touhou fan art (perfect since there's infinite amounts of it), like a tsunami descending upon a small Philippine village. Touhou Hijack, though most commonly found in /a/, had snaked its child killing tendrils into such other large boards as /v/, /m/, even /b/ (though any kind of child harming in /b/ is redundant, completely pointless since any thread on /b/ cannot last longer than 2 minutes due to the fact that all /b/tards suffer from [[ADD]]).

Touhou Hijack was actually rarely used on /a/, since performing an hijack manually is extremely boring. Nevertheless, Touhou was used as a scapegoat that lead to the split of /a/ and the creation of /jp/, a split that ultimately made the population of /a/ go from pathetic anti-social college student weeaboos to a bunch of underage b& [[Narutard]]s.

As of this writing, 50% of all threads on /jp/ are Touhou threads. 49% consist of troll threads, under the form of "I hate women" or the popular "[[A cat is fine too|Shiki]] can kill servants. Discuss." threads. The remaining 1% are threads created by people who believe /jp/ is about Japan.

===Touhou 40k===
[[Image:Youmu_Marine.jpg|thumb|It is better to die for Mistress Yuyuko than live for yourself.]]
Tolerated in /a/, violently hated in /v/ (because they hate weeaboo shit) Touhou, oddly enough, thrived on /tg/. Apparently, the lonely warhammer tabletop gamers - souls who spend their lives painting miniature figures as a substitute to discovering the joys of womenz and [[Yiff|sex]] - have found an amorous attraction to this [[Mexican|xenomorph]], as well as the finest drawfags outside of /i/ and /b/. Whatever the mind-boggling reason may be, Touhou's ability to survive and prosper on /tg/ shall remain one of nature's mysteries until subject to further [[Science|study]].

===Memes===
Like any subculture that proliferates on the corrupt soil of 4chan, western fans of Touhou have brought many existing memes or invent new ones, full of [[Lie|creativity and hilarity]], and flavored, whether they care to admit it or not, with the blackened [[penis|heart]] of anonymous.

*'''[[:File:SexyBeam.jpg|Sexy Beam]]''' - [[Gurren Lagann|Rinnosuke, your drill is an instrument which always points toward the heavens! You must continue to thrust it upward and penetrate the heavens! But, we will not stop at the surface! We shall continue onward until we reach our climax: space and the moon!]]
*'''Delicious Armpits''' - Nothing arouses these fuckers like a good exposed armpit of a [[16-year-old girl]].
*'''Manpits''' - Blacker than an [[Pokemon|Oreo]].
*'''China''' - That's her name. Don't listen to [[belieber|those people]] who say otherwise.
*'''Cirno''' - Also known as idiot, [[weeaboo|baka]], genius, ⑨, or more accurately, [[unfunny]].
*'''Rule 9''' - The disgraced twin brother of Rule 34: If it exists, there is Touhou fanart of it.By the way,the real Rule 9 fits her(banned for her easy bullets,and she enjoyed it).
*'''Suika Ibuki''' - [[Pettan, pettan, tsurupettan|A flat-chested girl that stalks Reimu.]] [[Forced meme]].
*'''[[Alice Margatroid]]''' - [[Anonymous]]... w-would you like a hug?
*'''[[Za Warudo|Sakuya Izayoi]]''' - A maid that wears padding, stops time and throws knives.
*'''Tewi Inaba''' - Bunny loli that trolls the fuck out of everyone. The final boss of Touhou.

<center><gallery>
Image:Meme_comic_touhou.jpg|[[Godhand Edit|A synopsis of Touhou with better artwork.]]
Image:SexyBeam.jpg|Sexy beam.
Image:Sexy_Beam.jpg|Neither sexy nor beam.
Image:Armpits.jpeg|[[Cum|Delicious]]
Image:Armpits2.jpg|A [[slut|challenger]] appears!
Image:Manpits.jpg|Why see armpits when you can see '''MANPITS'''?
Image:China_Hijack.jpg|Communist
Image:Rule_9.jpg|Rule 9 in action
Image:cirno.png|THE STR⑨NGEST
Image:cirnohitler.jpg|[[hitler|(NEIN)]]-Ball
Image:Crusher_cirno_giovanni.png|[[Card Crusher|CIRNO CRUSH!]]
Image:Ppt wut.jpg|[[PETTAN PETTAN TSURUPETTAN]]
Image:AliceMargatroid.jpg|[[Alice Margatroid|Alice → Dere]]
Image:YukariNazi.PNG|[[Nazi|Swastika]]
</gallery></center>

===Bad Apple!!===
[[Last thursday]], someone was bored enough to make an [[iPod]] video for the song "Bad Apple!!" by Alstroemeria Records, a crappy tehcno song by itself. Touhoufags [[I_CAME|ejaculated]] in unison upon seeing the video in all its black and white glory. Bad Apple eventually got on [[CNN]]. From here, we can learn two things about CNN: 1) CNN doesn't know how to use [["Just Google It"|Google]] and 2) CNN is very gullible.
<center>{{fv|badapple|background-color: #FF0000;|font-weight: normal;
|<youtube>RRJcQr0OrQQ</youtube>
Bad Apple on CNN... [[I am disappoint]].
|<youtube>L0UUWWDALnA</youtube>
The shadow-art version and a full-color version.
|<youtube>AZehH55i_wg</youtube>
Shadow art running on an [[NES]].
|<youtube>NQMrvBL5cIs</youtube>
A typical [[gay|fan cover]]. Note that Touhou fans tend to [[2girls1cup|smear their own feces 
across their faces]] and start to yell around like this once they realize that 
the games cannot actually be beaten and characters as [[loli|Flandere]] 
[[the cake is a lie|are nothing but a lie]] made up by the [[pedophiles|fandom]] to have some more [[Pomf|loli-butt]].
}}</center>

==See Also==
*[[Cult]]
*[[Japan]]
*[[4chan]]

==External links==
* https://lolcow.wiki/wiki/Touhou Lolcow.wiki article
* http://www.pooshlmer.com/wakaba/ - Pooshlmer's Touhou board (part of [[Wakachan]])
* http://boards.4chan.org/jp/ - All Touhou, all the time.
* http://desuchan.net/touhou/ - [[Desuchan]]'s Touhou board
* <del>http://cirnos.net/ - Yet another Touhou board, mainly with a [[safe for work|sfw]] focus. Be sure to greet them with some [[guro]]</del> LOL IT'S DEAD
* http://8ch.net/2hu/ 8chan's Touhou board. It's just as shitty as the rest of the site.
* http://en.touhouwiki.net/ - Touhou wiki ('''DON'T EDIT HERE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED''')
* http://touhou.fandom.com/ - Another Touhou wiki powered by [[Wikia]] faggotry
* http://www.doujinstyle.com - You can download Touhou games here.
* http://www.walfas.org/flash/create.swf - Make your own erotic fantasies (for pedophiles and lesbians) or awesome adventures (for [[16-year-old girl|8-12 year old girls]]) here.

{{anime}}
{{gaming}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 13 & April 14, [[2022]]|[[Brenda Ann Spencer]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Will Smith slaps Chris Rock]]}}
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
[[Category:Memes]]

File:Pichuun.png

2024-11-25T21:01:21Z

Feverflow:

Yamate

Katawa Shoujo

2024-11-25T20:47:36Z

Feverflow: Removing trash anime references no one gets.

{{Spoiler|you can fuck misha on shizune's route, lilly and shizune are related, and kenji isn't a virgin}}
[[Image:Katawa Shoujo.png|thumb|right|The title for this [[Harem_Comedy|bishoujo-style visual novel.]]]]
[[Image:Katawa-Shoujo-cast.jpg|thumb|right|[[Unrealistic expectations|You find 5 real world cripples as attractive as these]] and I'll give you a prize.]]
'''Katawa Shoujo''' ("Cripple Girls") is a [[dating sim]] created by [[Basement dwellers|a development group]] consisting almost entirely of former [[4chan]]ners. Like all dating sims, the goal of the game is to synthesise a relationship with a girl, because the player [[Autism|does not have the social skills required to do so in the real world]]. What makes Katawa Shoujo stand out from the rest of perverse games enjoyed by manchildren with an [[Weeaboo|undying respect for all things Japanese]] (although there is nothing [[Azn|Asian]] about Katawa Shoujo) is the fact that it takes place at a school for disabled adolescents, and thus the girls in the game are all broken in some fashion.

Disabilities dealt with include:

*Having no legs from the knee down.
*Having no arms.
*Being [[Non sequitur]]
*Being deaf
*Being [[Autism|obnoxious with no social repercussion]]
*Being blind,
*and [[Kill it with fire|being severely BBQ]]'d

Being a '''[[visual novel]]''', the gameplay consists of large blocks of text moving over alternating images. Essentially a very large powerpoint presentation, but with a storyline. Pressing TAB speeds up the text by a fuckload, so you can skip most of it. Katawa Shoujo also has an [[no|amazing soundtrack]] composed of midi loops played for hours on end until the music changes in the next scene.

==Major Characters==

===[[HNNNNNNGGGGG|Hisao Nakai]]===
The prototypical angst-ridden teen devoid of all memorable personality. He was shipped off to a school made specifically for physically crippled people due to having Arrhythmia caused by a girl who admitted she liked him, all in the name of Kalima. Now that he's out of hospital, Hisao must learn to conform with living among nature's mistakes. The [[Wapanese|player]] utilizes him to interact with the rest of the cast, and his idea of "helping" a girl is to pry into their personal life like a jealous girlfriend. A small running gag in the game is the one strand of idiot hair on his head which apparently doesn't stay down like an unwelcome boner.

His heart condition is bad enough to attend a special school for physically crippled people - described by Rin as sounding like a drunk percussion orchestra - but not quite bad enough to prevent him from doing the [[sex|horizontal hula]] with any of the animu princesses in the game.

===[[16-year-old girl|Emi Ibarazaki]]===
[[File:Emigameplay.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Gameplay with Emi]]

The legless girl whose personality is enough to give anyone who plays this game a lasting migraine. She apparently has a trademark "pout" which is described by Hisao as looking like a "sad puppy". Loves food and is insecure about her height; her prosthesis (flat running blades, like [http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/xNmt06q0Z_U/maxresdefault.jpg Oscar Pistorius]) apparently leaves her a few inches shorter than the original legs did.

Going down her route sees Hisao embracing her deviant personality - or lack thereof - as she continually forces him to take up running with her every morning and have lunch on the roof with her and Rin. Predictably, love blossoms between the two and they get closer to one another until they're dry humping each other on Emi's bed which [[boner|escelates]] into having sex a couple of times.

Somewhere down the line the morning ritual of running every morning with Hisao causes her legs to become infected. Scared that the Nurse will take her legs away again, she refuses to see him. She's eventually convinced to see him, but it's too little too late and loses them anyway; thus becoming wheelchair-bound. She and Hisao hang out at the race track where she lures him to the track shed where she goads him into [[anal|sticking his dick into her shitter]]; the aftermath of which reveals that [[scat|she obviously doesn't wipe properly]]. She becomes a recluse and tells him that she wants time alone to focus on schoolwork, but in reality she's become a slut to his dick and she tries hard not to pounce on him. When they next speak, she then claims that she "won't rely on anyone", activating Hisao's "needy faggot" syndrome which constantly asks questions and gets confused whenever Emi still shows her usual affection towards him. Regardless, she invites him to her home but a while into the visit pretends to leave to go to the toilet [[lolwut|but goes into the kitchen]]. Hisao either confronts Emi directly or questions her mother; both result in him leaving by either getting kicked out by Emi or leaving on his own accord.

If you find yourself down the Bad route, Hisao breaks up with Emi and tries to win her back, but fails. The end. If you go down the Good route, all lost hope is restored as Hisao's nagging at Emi to tell Hisao what's wrong with her ultimately ends with her taking him to her dad's grave, where she suddenly has [[TL;DR|verbal diarrhea]] and we all learn of her reclusive personality due to the death of her father and her inability to put the past behind her. They then proceed to [[sex|perform the dance routine]] for the fourth time. The end.

==='''[[Zippocat|Hanako Ikezawa]]'''===

[[File:HanakoHNNNG.png|thumb|right|200px|Awww, isn't it cute?]]

The quiet, purple-haired, timid, book-reading, chess-playing and billiards-playing burns victim whom thousands of lonely [[weeaboo|weebs]] masturbate over because she's so [[kawaii]]. Being a burns victim she has [[Flame wars|horrific burns on the right hand side of her body]] and as a result has [[Socially_Awkward_Penguin|social anxiety]], which means the only friend she has [[Nobody_likes_you|is a blind girl]]. She experiments with food which often leaves it inedible, and she and Lilly the two are often seen [[scissoring|having tea together]] in the empty unused room they use during lunch. She makes appearences in Lilly's route, but rather than getting involved with Hisao and as a result QQing over being half BBQ'd, she improves her self-worth by making friends, joining a newspaper club and goes travelling. '''Not''' going down her route sees her being better off.

Going down Hanako's route sees Hisao beginning to latch onto Lilly and Hanako like a social parasite under the guise of helping Lilly with her class rep duties. In the early parts of the story, Hisao spends time with the pair, during which time he plays chess, sips tea like a faggot and experiences his [[virgin|first awkward boner]] when seeing them [[naked|in their pyjamas]]. Hanako tells Hisao the basics of what happened to her after she tells him that she found out about his heart, in a sort of "[[Vagoo|I'll show you mine]] [[Cock|if you show me yours]]" [[Jam it in|kind of way]]. She then has a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catatonia Catatonic attack] after being grouped with Shizune, Hisao and Misha because none of them shut the hell up long enough to notice. Lilly calls Hisao to talk to him about the incident and drops the bombshell that she's leaving for Scotland and that she wants to push up the birthday party for Hanako where they give her some presents. Akira arrives to give the 3 minors wine. What could go wrong? A drunk Hanako is carried to her bed where she attempts to have drunk sex with him, but he [[pussy|turns her down]] and puts her into bed. Then they proceed to go to bed in their own rooms, ready for the obligatory [[whore|walk of shame]] the next day.

The day before Lilly leaves for Scotland, she invites Hisao out to a Jazz club where Hisao and Hanako continue to circle-jerk each other on their individual disabilities and shitty pasts over a game of Billiards - a completely normal topic of conversation to talk about when out on the town.

On the event of her birthday, [[you|she becomes a hermit]].

[[Derp|Depending on the choices you make]], you find yourself at the either Bad Ending, where he forcibly enters her room and she blows up in his face when he tries to pry her out. The Neutral Ending, where he visits her room, treats her like a Downs patient and simply end up [[lame|playing chess]]. Or the Good Ending where he backs off and give her some space, she eventually comes out of hiding, he then visits her and shows her his scar. The next day they meet up in town, where they circle-jerk each other even more about their shitty pasts. When they get back to school, she shows him her scars in return for showing his. Fucktard Hisao sees it as a greenlight for sex and fucks her; judging by her facial expressions it was [[rape]]. Things get awkward. But they eventually sort their issues out by going something any sane person would do; causing a public disturbance. Spouting some shit about how Hisao wouldn't stay around if he saw her as just someone to protect and because she didn't know he liked her like she liked him, and vice versa, blah blah blah. It's also when she reveals [[facepalm|that she locked herself in her room because she doesn't want people fussing over her on her birthday, and not because she blames herself for her parents' deaths like everyone had been led to believe]], and they live happily ever after. The end.

Oh and [http://sadpanda.us/images/814359-DQJBB1O.png Gimme the Chocolate, Hisao!]

==='''[[Blindmute|Lilly Satou]]'''===

[[File:Lillyshlick.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Not fanart.]]

A [[lie|quiet and refined young woman]] who is a slut for the dick. She's her class' representative and is distantly related to Shizune. Shizune hates Lilly and Lilly puts up with her shit. She apparently looks foreign by Japanese standards, and she reveals she has some Scottish heritage. But honestly you can't really tell the difference because she's an [[animu]] chick. She is bilingual as she can speak English and Japanese as well as read English Braille.

Going down Lilly's route is practically identical to Hanako's to begin with, except if you chose to go to Town rather than the Library, the story focuses on Lilly. The early part of Lilly's story mostly just consists of her finding out what Hisao looks like [[fap|based on touch]] ultimately resulting in a blind person's equivalent of a crush, [[Obese|dealing with how she can't go shopping on her own]], and how she requires books imported in Braille. She and Hisao go on what is essentially a date in the local town centre to buy presents for Hanako, where they meet Lilly's sister Akira and [[faggot|Shizune's crossdressing shota brother, Hideaki]]. Later, Hisao is invited to Lilly's room for [[sex|tea]] and each give their presents to Hanako. Akira shows up to give the 3 minors free wine and leaves. The three get [[drunk|shitfaced]]. At this point, instead of Hisao carrying Hanako to her room and trying to have [[Win|drunk sex]] with him, all three spend the night in Lilly's room, waking up with hangovers and going through the obligatory [[whore|walk of shame]].

'''TIMESKIP!''' The three are having lunch on the roof [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|which just so happens to be where Emi and Rin have lunch]]. But Hisao has his first of many [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|heart murmurs]]. Lilly drops the bombshell that she's going to Scotland for a week. In that time he becomes a needy little faggot and has to babysit Hanako on his own. When Lilly comes back, she invites him go join her and Hanako to a Summer house. It's here that the entire "good girl" facade is thrown entirely out the window; after he has his second heart murmur and she admits she has feelings for him they then proceed to fuck. Twice. Both times getting [[creampie]]d and she doesn't fall pregnant - apparently being on the pill.

'''ANOTHER TIMESKIP!''' Later we find out that Shizune and Lilly used to be friends, Misha had brown long hair and Akira reveals that she's going to Scotland permanently, but otherwise not a lot happens. Unless of course Lilly [[fap|shlicking]] in front of Hisao while he's [[BDSM|blindfolded]], with which the proceeding sex almost causes him to have yet another heart attack counts. Hisao later finds out from Akira that Lilly's going back to Scotland with her, this time permanently. Leaving Hisao [[forever alone|on his own]].

On the day she has to leave, he either chooses to go after her, or not. If you found yourself at the Neutral route, he wallows in self-pity and doesn't go after her. On the good route, he mans up, [[truth|calls himself an idiot]] and leaves for the airport. When he eventually does, he sees Lilly and Akira, and then... '''CUE THE CONVENIENTLY PLACED PLOT DEVICE!''' He has a heart attack from all the running. He wakes up in a hospital and she's there. They [[BAWWW]] together and live happily ever after. The end.

==='''[[DeviantART|Rin Tezuka]]'''===

[[File:Gimme_a_pepsi.jpg|thumb|300px|Meet Rin, your new [[Mai waifu|waifu.]]]]
[[File:2a5g708.jpg|thumb|150px|[[TL;DR]] because you're a lazy fuck? This route in a nutshell.]]

A red-haired armless girl who has a [[retarded|unique]] way with words. She uses her feet to accomplish every day tasks such as [[Cunnilingus|eating]] and [[Cumdumpster|painting]], but she can't dress herself and relies on Emi to do that for her. She rarely eats much and wears a boy’s uniform because she doesn’t want dudes peeking up her skirt when she uses her feet to do menial tasks and while painting, but that won't stop [[Foot fetish|Podophiles]] bashing off to her. While she lacks a real emotional threshold and is always spouting random shit, most of her story revolves around how she's depressed because she doesn't know who she is nor can find the [[Autism|right words]] to describe how she feels. Lolwut.

You go down Rin's route because Hisao is a failed abortion of a person and is "distant" towards every other girl in the story. He starts hanging out with Rin at her mural while hearing other characters' opinions on her being "[[retard|unique]]", but doesn't get very far with her until he forces himself into her every day life by joining her Art club, simply because she fell asleep on him during the school festival. From that point on, the creepiness begins. At some point we meet Nomiya the art teacher, a Gary Glitter lookalike with obvious ulterior motives who refers to her as his [[bitch|"protégéé"]], offers her the chance to display her work in an art gallery. She says she'll think about it, then goes to the forest and visits one specific tree which she named the "Worry Tree" to think about shit ''because she's so deep and mysterious''. At the next art session, Nomiya presses Rin for a decision. Hisao sticks his nose in which makes her either leave the room either in disgust or worry. It's all forgotten on their next encounter when they're forced to go on a picnic which then gets ruined by a sudden downpour. He and Rin talk about shit on the roof [http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/12/121367/2115716-47e.jpg which ends in a hug]. The next day, she catches a cold, so Hisao visits her and he experiences his [[virgin|very first boner]] when he sees her half naked and babbling like a retard after taking an entire bottle of cold pills. Just as he's about to leave, she kisses him. The next day - when she's not a prime rape target - she takes him to a hill full of Dandelions where she [[tl;dr|completely spills everything that's on her mind]], but ultimately comes to the decision that she'll agree to the art gallery. Hallelujah!

They go to the gallery to meet the gallery owner Sae Saionji, who evaluates Rin's work and accepts her. Hisao visits her at the workshop where he admits he likes her and [[Forever alone|is instantly rejected]] but continues to visit her and forcefeed her oranges. Sae and Rin come to the decision that Rin's theme would be "Nameless", afterwhich Rin asks Sae for some cigarettes - a minor's equivalent of [[weed]] - which they then smoke. She has artist's block so Hisao pries her out to go for a walk. When they get back to the gallery, she tells him to fuck off for a while [[I came|but lets him touch her]] so he [[fail|touches her cheek]]. The next day, we're back at the art gallery where Sae says Rin reminds her of Sae's [[Dead Friend|late husband]] who [[An Hero|painted himself to death]]. Back at the workshop, Rin is [[fap|performing a no-armed person's equivalent of masturbating]] involving sitting down and grinding herself against the floor. He hugs her and then proceeds to finger her. Afterwards they both fall asleep and have an arguement the next morning for some reason.

Go down the bad route, Hisao shouts at her for having little to no connection to the world and everything around her and pushes her for an explanation about what she's thinking. When she doesn't give a response, he storms away like a bitch. Go down the Neutral route, Hisao gets too pissed off with her to shout at her so doing what any normal human being would do, he leaves. Nearly a week later, she goes to his room and invites herself in where he shouts at her for the same reason as the bad route. He visits her at the gallery opening where she has a mental breakdown. After much prodding from Hisao, she goes back in looking pissed off and he gets completely ignored. Vacation starts but [[Dying alone|he doesn't have anyone to hang round with]]. He finds Emi, who says she's not in her room but the ensuing conversation reveals that [[Lesbian|she might be a little gay for Rin]]. At the art gallery, Rin avoids Hisao by lying about going for a walk, but he stalks her anyway. They go for a walk in the rain, talk about how she wants someone to understand her and hoped that he would but doesn't, then she tells him she's got a scholarship in art in Tokyo. He gets pissed off, but eventually they "hug" and [[Waaaambulance|they go their seperate ways]]. If you go down the Good route, after the mental breakdown, she decides to run away from the art gallery. He finds her in the classroom she uses to sleep in, and convinces her to talk to Nomiya which results in him blowing a fuse. They then talk about shit, mostly about [[Shit nobody cares about|how she can't expect people to understand what she's thinking]] and he takes her to her dorm room. The next day, she turns up at his door soaked from walking in the rain, and they have makeup sex. She then takes him to the hill of Dandelions which have now matured into seeds. The end.

==='''[[Unwarranted Self-Importance|Shizune Hakamichi]]'''===

[[File:Shizunegivesnofucks.jpg|thumb|right|280px|That's right, she gives none.]]

A blue-haired bespectacled chick who is a deaf-mute. The only way she can communicate with people is either through Misha, writing what she wants to say down on a notepad or with anyone else who learned Sign language. She's the competitive bitch with far too much [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|Unwarranted self-importance]] and believes that the only way to gain power is through [[Best Korea|dictatorship]], which is the reason she doesn't have any friends apart from Misha. She hates Lilly with a passion, mostly because of their differing beliefs regarding how to obtain "power". Shizune's route is also by far the longest route in the game with the least amount of options, making it the most boring.

Shizune's route starts off mostly focussing on Shizune and Misha; with Hisao getting blackmailed into joining the Student Council and learning Sign Language for the sake of having a conversation with Shizune without Misha hanging off her arse like a [[shit|butt-nugget]]. After a hard day's work at the Student Council, and after being lectured by Kenji, Hisao is met by Shizune and Misha who invited themselves into his dorm room but they prod him about his medications to which he responds by throwing them out or avoiding the subject entirely. [[bullshit|Neither option affects the outcome of the route]]. Eventually Hisao realises that the Student Council consists of just Shizune and Misha.

Sometime later after drinking tea that [[china|people died for]], Hisao's roped into doing more Student Council shit. They finish at dusk and order a Chinese where [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|he learns the sign language for "Omelette", "Dumplings", and "3685" from Misha]]. On the day of the festival, Hisao decides to grab a bite to eat and [[No|"out of impulse"]] decides to see what Kenji is up to, while also [http://animebot.everyboty.net/pix/1362.jpg imagining him doing something like this]. Hisao then encounters Shizune and Misha, where he's coerced into attempting - and failing - to get them a toy each. Not much happens for a while after that, except Hisao almost has another of his trademark heart attacks and decides for the first time to learn sign language full-time.

Kenji ropes Hisao into getting a package from the post office, but not without having one of his trademark ramblings, even going so far as to claim World War III will involve feminists and a post-apocolyptic future with men as slaves while feminists rule the Earth, like some sort of fucked up Dystopian [[Wimmin|Amazonian]] future. After picking up the cardboard box, he bumps into Shizune outside the Shanghai which marks the first time Shizune actually has any dialogue besides '''"..."''', but everything she says is in '''[[EXTREME ADVERTISING|FUCKING SQUARE BRACKETS!]]''' The entire trip ends up in a competition which Shizune loses because their fingers touch! So [[kawaii]]!

A few days and a few thousand competitions later, Misha talks to Hisao about taking a few days off on preparing for an upcoming festival to catch up with schoolwork, where she drops the bomb that Shizune already knows that he's learning Sign language and he completely loses it, but gives up anyway and [[rape|lays back and accepts it]]. While assembling some stalls for the festival, Hisao has his first real conversation with Shizune without Misha shoving her head up her rectum. Which ends abruptly when A Wild Lilly appears and they have a deaf-mute vs. blind person slanging match again which doesn't go anywhere.

Fast forward to the Tanabata festival, one of your generic over-the-counter and late-at-night festivals involving girls in yukatas that [[weeaboo|weebs seem to love]]. Misha leaves early so Hisao asks Shizune out and she accepts. Bet you didn't see that coming did you? When she tells him she'll be gone for a week, he invites himself along to her house.

When the 3 go to Shizune's, Hisao meets Hideaki; Shizune's shota crossdressing brother, and her Chuck Norris ripoff of a dad Jigoro who thinks his opinions are fact. Jigoro and Misha get into a neverending shouting match which gives Shizune a perfect distraction to tie Hisao to a chair and rape him. The whole ordeal is never mentioned afterwards.

When Hisao returns to the school he receives a letter from Iwanako, which Kenji lays some [[brother|bro-vice]] about dealing with women and reveals a bit about his past life with an ex girlfriend. Hisao hangs out with Shizune and Misha at the Student Council room, where they plan upcoming elections - or rather ways to save cash so they can afford pizza at the end of it just like real politicians. Hisao and Misha go for a meal at The Shanghai and talk about how Shizune pushes people away when she gets wrapped up in Council work. [[lie|Totally not a foreshadowing.]] Hisao is later wrapped up in doing yet more Council work and then a game of shogi (the bastard child of chess and a Tower defence game). Out of nowhere, Shizune asks Hisao if Misha is angry at her, and further reveals they "kind of had some sort of fight", but doesn't know what she's done wrong.

After looking after the library for Yuuko because she's too incompetant to look after it herself and the Student Council members have a takeaway together, Misha follows Hisao back to his dorm room and talks about how "the happier Shizune gets, the more depressed she feels", then comes onto him.

This is the only significant choice throughout the entire story, and that's choosing to either [[fuck|"comfort"]] Misha or [[lame|reject her]]. If you fuck her, it leads you down the Bad route and things get awkward between the three of them. Hisao begins skipping classes trying to avoid Shizune and Misha, Misha admits she's gay for Shizune and how she learned Sign Language for her, is jealous of their relationship and how Shizune brings people close to her then "shuts them out". Hisao and Shizune arrange a picnic but Misha refuses to go, leaving them on their own. Jigoro and Hideaki visit Shizune and invites Shizune on a family vacation but refuses, and Hisao invites Misha for food at the Shanghai, where he has a heart-to-heart with Misha about "friendship". Cute. And finally, Shizune, who never actually finds out that he cheated on her, [[LOLWUT|breaks up with him]]. The end. Rejecting Misha leads you down the Good route, where pretty much the exact same happens, except Misha apologizes and thanks Hisao for rejecting her and instead of Shizune breaking up with you, Kenji arrives at Hisao's dorm room complaining about his mail not arriving when Shizune appears. Lulz ensues, but Kenji fucks off and they head up to the roof, where Shizune reveals that Misha suddenly got over her depression and cheered the fuck up. They're then seen lecturing two girls running for the next Student Council. When Misha fucks off and sun sets, they fuck on the floor. And then a desk. The rest of the story basically talks about the end of school and everyone's happy. The end.

==='''[[Asspie|Shiina “Misha” Mikado]]'''===

[[File:Mishanakedhurrhurr.jpg|thumb|right|200px|SPOILER ALERT. Oh, too late. '''WAHAHAHAHA~''']]

The pink-haired air-headed asspie that hangs around with Shizune and translates everything via sign language that's being said in the immediate area for Shizune's convenience, even if Shizune isn't around. She doesn't have her own route, but she appears ''a lot'' on Shizune's route. She doesn't know how to control the volume of her voice, especially while laughing. Misha's original hair colour was brown and was down to her arse. You'd be forgiven for thinking that she looks like [http://www.cosplayhouse.com/images/D/Vocaloid_kasane_teto_costume_ver_01-2-03%5B1%5D.jpg Kasane Teto] if you knew who she was before just mentioning her. '''WAHAHAHAHA~'''

She appears ''a lot'' during Shizune's route. She doesn't play a major role in the story besides being Shizune's translator and being an asspie. Though you do find out random useless facts about her: stairs make her dizzy, she falls asleep a lot, she doesn't know know to ride a bike, she wants to be a sign language teacher and she fucking loves [https://www.google.com/search?q=parfait&biw=1366&bih=603&sei=sfXDT4SmH5S38gONm_TyCg&tbm=isch parfait].

It's implied that '''she's got absolutely nothing physically wrong with her at all''', when she mentions that the school only allowed her in because of her [[whore|choice of career in life]] as well as a discount on the school's tuition fees. [[blowjob|For some reason]]. She has a majorly gay thing for Shizune, who was the reason she learned Sign Language in the first place. When Misha admitted to Shizune that she liked her, she was [[Dying alone|instantly rejected]]. She cuts her hair and loses the drills, making her look like the dyke that she is. She gets depressed near the end of the story because of her jealousy of Shizune's and Hisao's relationship and [[slut|for some reason makes sexual advances on Hisao]], which you can either [[Fuck Yea|accept]] or [[Boring|reject]]. If you choose to fuck her, it leads you down the bad ending. But it's really more of a [[Win]] ending as Shizune never finds out that you cheated on her.

==[[boring|Minor characters]]==

*'''[[Anonymous|Iwanako]]''': A black-haired girl resembling Hanako whose face is never seen. She's the original slag of Hisao's life before she "confesses" to him in some woods before when has his heart attack. She sends him a letter ''in every single story'', which is read by Hisao which basically says that she's sorry for not "being there for him" and that she's moved on and hopes he does as well. He reacts accordingly depending on the relevance of the situation, but he mostly acts like a depressive little bitch. Some dipshits actually want her to have a route even though [[derp|the whole point of the game is to meet, befriend and sleep with a girl with a physical disability]] hence the title of the fucking game, "Cripple girls".

*'''[[Harry Potter|Kenji]]''': A [[You|legally blind, misanthropic, conspiracy theory nut job]] with [[assburgers]], who lives opposite Hisao in the boys' dorm. He has a deep rooted hatred for [[Feminism|feminist]]s and preaches about the feminist conspiracy every chance he gets. His delusions go so far as to compare dictionaries to their ancestors' equivalent of porn, making out like ancient Japan was ruled by an army of horny William Shakespeares. Contrary to popular belief [[wtf|he doesn't hate women entirely]]. He claims to have [http://i.imgur.com/T1iuv.jpg Shaman's eyes] which have "seen things", impressive feat for someone who's supposed to be legally blind. You ''always'' see him naked at least once before you get to fuck any girls, and he is the faggot that holds the "manly picnic" with you on the school roof and you get so drunk that you lose balance and fall off the roof to your bloody, untimely end. Or pushes you off. Even though he [[you|hides away in his room, sleeps all day and obsessively hates women]], it's hinted throughout the game that he dated and fucked Yuuko, essentially making her a rapist/cradle snatcher. That gives him a one-up on you because he's not a [[virgin]].

*'''[[Dumbshit|Yuuko Shirikawa]]''': Freckled and bespectacled 20-something year old with the biggest tits in the game, with the exception of Emi's mother. She works 2 jobs, one in the school library and the other in a tea restaurant called The Shanghai, to pay for her University's tuition fees. Whenever she appears she shows signs of being mentally unstable, almost always bordering on having a panic attack and constantly apologising for stupid shit. As mentioned before, it's hinted that she dated and fucked Kenji at least once.

*'''[[Pretty cool guy|"Nurse"]]''': His name's never revealed, but to be honest [[shit nobody cares about|nobody really gives a shit what it is]]. He is the kind of guy that would [[brofist]] you when he sees signs of having fucked Emi, but could also cut your bollocks off for not keeping up with your daily light excercise routine. He has a bigger role in Emi's route seeing as he knows the Ibarazaki family personally. In the sense that he's totally nailing Emi's mother.

*'''[[Stu makes chocolate pudding at 4 in the morning|Akio Mutou]]''': Hisao's, Hanako's, Misha's and Shizune's teacher. Passionate about [[Portal|science]] but is so wrapped up in his own little world that he makes little to no sense. He seems to [[Faggot|take a liking to Hisao]] and refers to him as his "Star pupil".

*'''[[Gary Glitter|Shinichi Nomiya]]''': A Gary Glitter lookalike who appears in Rin's route. Crazy about art to the point of obsession, he pretty much forces Rin to [[suck|do]] [[your|his]] [[cock|bidding]], thrusting her into the limelight by displaying her works at an art gallery, while she doesn't have the balls to speak up against it. He's described at one stage as "looking at Rin like a hungry wolf", so there's definitely some ulterior motive.

*'''[[Smoking|Sae Saionji]]''': The chainsmoking gallery owner who knows Nomiya who appears in Rin's route. She promotes underage smoking and is also the one who gave Rin the nickname "The little kitten". Her husband spent more time painting shit than keeping himself sustained with food and fucking her on demand and eventually painted himself to death. [[Forever Alone]].

*'''[[Drunk|Akira Satou]]''': Lilly's [[Trap|emasculated]], [[alcoholic]] older sister who [[Anonymous|wears a suit and promotes underage drinking]]. She appears in Shizune's, Hanako's and Lilly's routes. She's the [[wimmin|female equivalent]] of a [[pretty cool guy]], and calls herself Hideaki's babysitter. She has a boyfriend, so the whole tomboy thing must be a huge turn-on for him.

*'''[[MILF|Meiko Ibarazaki]]''': Emi's mother who appears in Rin's and Emi's routes. [[TITS]].

*'''[[Trap|Hideaki Hakamichi]]''': Shizune's cross-dressing faggot [[shota]] brother, who appears in both Shizune's and Lilly's routes. He's described as the result of a "scientific process of sucking out all the hypractive, infuriating and childish qualities of a small child and implanted them into the dad, creating a raging [[cunt|jerk dad]], and leaving behind Hideaki". He has the habit of trapping people in an endless spiral of awkwardness, by asking a question which leads to more questions. The character as a whole is about as interesting as watching anti-vandal paint dry.

*'''[[Chuck Norris|Jigoro Hakamichi]]''': Shizune's dad, who appears solely in Shizune's route. He seems to think of himself as a stone-cold badass who doesn't give a fuck about what anyone else thinks even if his opinion is wrong. He's essentially a cheap Chuck Norris ripoff but with a blue hawaiin shirt and a katana. He hates sweater vests which is unfortunate for Hisao. He apparently enjoys eating bear liver, [[Shit nobody cares about|even though it's toxic]]. It also seems that he isn't aware that Shizune's deaf & mute, as some of his ramblings involve her not talking to him.

*'''Aoi & Keiko''': Two [[noob|n00bs]] running for the "next" Student Council, who only appear in Shizune's Good route. They got more than they bargained for when they asked if Shizune was taking her job too seriously, in the form of an hour-long lecture. [[Facepalm]]

*'''[[Negress|Miki Miura]]''': Half-cast tomboy girl with a stump for a hand. She appears in Hanako's and Shizune's route and the Bad ending on Emi's route. [[dyke|Seems to take an awful liking to Hanako.]]

[[Image:1245174647617.jpg|thumb|This is pure fucking genius.]]

==Development and drama==
[[Image:We_love_our_fans.jpg|thumb|right|The KS forum also has its own brand of meta-fail: a fanart/fanfiction section where the devs show [[funnelgirl|their own form of appreciation]] for their fanbase.]]
The idea for the game came from a joke page drawn by the [[Japanese|Eleven]] artist "Raita". When the page was translated and posted on 4chan's [[Ronery|/a/ board]], Anonymous [[wat|loved]] the idea of a cripple-fucking game. They immediately started outlining the main plot, all-important "[[rape|love]]" scenes, and [[Win|lulzy bad ends]]. A thread was stickied, a development team was formed, and a dedicated forum was made so they could more effectively circle jerk.

Then the [[drama]] began. Members of the team would join and [[ragequit]] for [[for the lulz|various reasons]]. Some were fired for spending too much time [[fapping]] and not enough time [[fapping|working]]. The [[High_School_Musical|plot]] was written and re-written and the [[Porn|art]] was drawn and discarded rapidly. But at last, on [[9/11]] an early development version of the first part of the game was leaked and discussed on 4chan; still, much [[fapping|work]] remained.

The name "Katawa Shoujo" was also a [[I_See_What_You_Did_There|boner]] of contention with the Japanese audience, since Katawa means "cripple" and is seen as [[butthurt|derogatory]]. The name was kept, however, to [[lulz|stay in touch with the artistic vision]] and because it was "[[lie|too late]]" to change it to something [[Goatse|inoffensive]].

During 2008, threads about KS would be quite frequently present on [[jp|/jp/]], causing much [[rage]] since the whole thing was considered to be [[Duke_Nukem|a massive piece of vaporware]], as well as many accusations of viral marketing by the game devs. This continues, to the point that now "being a KS dev" is a common [[Meme|accusation]] on /jp/.

In the spring of 2009, Act 1 of the game was finally released. After much nervousness about how the Japs would take a deliberate attempt to imitate their shitty games (as nerds are constantly seeking validation from one another), the Japanese reaction was neatly summed up in three words: "[[irony|SUBS FUCKING WHERE?!?]]" Meanwhile, back in round eye-land, the feedback forum consists mainly of posts saying stuff like [[Cocksucking|"this is the best visual novel I've ever played"]], which may be [[Truth|a sad commentary]] on the genre. It might, on the other hand, be an indication that the tastes of [[retards|basement dwellers]] are best understood by other [[sick fucks|basement dwellers]]. Because the devs forget [[Frienditto|everything on the internet is forever]], they frequently get butthurt when forum posters use dev blog entries and [[Furaffinity|dev-commissioned fanart]] to spoil plot tweests, calling all the clues obvious trolls.

[[Moot]] also changed /jp/'s name from "Japan/General" to "Katawa Shoujo" for a day during early summer of 2009, presumably [[Trolling|for the lulz]].

Shortly after the demo release, a KS forum [[Tartlet|devianTard]] named [http://studiomugenjohncel.wordpress.com mugenjohncel], allegedly a former artist turned millionaire businessman/importer/drug trafficker posted [http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=1398 a beautiful drawing] of one of the heroines tied to a chair and stabbed to death with a pencil, then got b& not for posting [[guro]], but ''for asking if it could be put in the devs' own [[Paheal|SUPER SPESHUL IMAGEDUMP SIET]]''. Being filthy rich and unencumbered by a day job, mugen failed to bitch about it anywhere, instead going on to start his own Ren'Py game where you get to [http://jpproject.2ksite.com/heavy-metal-girl-madonna-f12.html rape and murder a Mexican loli in the nuclear apocalpyse]. This was, of course, him wanting to be [[4chan|exactly like 4LS]] despite the absence of a modern setting in Japan, teenage girls, disabilities, or a staff of infighting manchildren producing it:
<div style="color: black; font-size:.8em; font-family:monospace; background-color: white; width: 575px; border: thin black solid; padding: .5em;">
:<Delta_Kurshiva> http://jpproject.2ksite.com/heavy-metal-girl-madonna-episode-1-humble-origin--p1767.html#p1767
:<Delta_Kurshiva> NRRRRRRR
:<Blue123> MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGEEEEN
:<Blue123> Mugen faggotry: Slavshit edition
:<Delta_Kurshiva> hahaha, he's whining for japanese translation
:<Blue123> I thought he said he doesn't want to be like us
:<Delta_Kurshiva> "big plans" indeed
:<Delta_Kurshiva> oh, he wants to be exactly like us
:<Delta_Kurshiva> only, /jp/ and everyone in the world thinks he's fucking aseome
:<Delta_Kurshiva> and... it's him. Not us.
:<buckingham> do we even have a decent japanese translation effort
:<Delta_Kurshiva> Haven't heard back from them yet
:<Blue123> Nothing has happened there for about a week or two
:<Delta_Kurshiva> I would like to put forward that the translators are fucking lazy.
:<buckingham> damn mugen would shit himself with joy if he knew we had a daily event centered around talkibg about him
</div>

==Fanbase==
[[File:Meeps bitchin merch.png|thumb|right|Comparable to the [[Silk Screen Goku Shirt]]]]
<center><youtube>grP6Z0tMmYM</youtube></center>
The fanbase consists of a bunch of [[fat|L33t]] [[virgins|romantics]], who play the demo despite there being no [[rape|love making]] visually depicted. The full game will contain nudity and the sexings, but the developers promise [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|an option that allows players to skip any portions of the game involving sex]]. Players bring up this option with their parents when trying to advocate why the game is beautiful, and why they are [[Bullshit|not total perverts]] for playing it. Lastly the fans of the game also enjoy arguing over which of the fucked up characters they consider to be their [[slave|waifu]], creating many lulz for really cool guyz (AKA fellow /v/irgins) viewing said [[ronery]] sadness. Some dedicated fans have been known to [http://theglobaldaily.net/010412.html sever their own arms] upon completion of the game.

Thinking about joining the Katawa Shoujo forums and discussing your [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|favorite cripple girl]]? Please make sure you enjoy the following before proceeding: The forums are cesspools for [[Irony|Devs so far up their own assholes they believe everyone but themselves are trash]], fucktarded users who post terrible photoshops and get their cocks sucked by the rest of the forum, and [[Sick fucks|retards who write terrible fan fiction]] about the burn girl getting her charred [[cock]] sucked by the deaf girl.

If you enjoy all those things, a forums account may just be the thing for you!

==Failart==
{{cg|Gallery|Gallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Katawa Shoujo I'm Gonna Die.jpg|A series of ways the player can meet his [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|untimely death]].
Image:Layla_miller_is_a_cunt.jpg|Even failed wrestlers wish to be the cripple girl.
Image:Classof200-Fail.png|Hey, that dude in the back has a fucking cane. What is this a class of cripples or something?
Image:BikiniBurnBitch.jpg|No burn victim on the planet would wear a bikini. [[Animu]] [[lies]].
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Lilly_icwydt.jpg|[[I see what you did there|There are 3 puns here. Can you SEE them all]]?
Image:Footjob.jpg|What Rin was born for.
Image:HappyEnd.jpg|The sad truth that most ronery fags must face when playing this game. It's [[porn]].
Image:1245365016936.png| Hahahah! It's funny because the creator used the incorrect form of "there"!
Image:Immadrillurheavens.jpg|Ridiculous hair style that will do the impossible and [[ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH|fight da powa.]]
Image:Ks reaction guys.jpg|The opinions of players with [[bullshit|truly superior tastes]].
Image:Jogging 4koma katawa shoujo.jpg|The opinions of the characters themselves.
Image:Misha_oh_wow.png|Misha summarizes her thoughts on [[you]].
Image:Shizune_objection.jpg|BTW, She's objecting to your sexual advances.
Image:Whatudoin.jpg|A question all [[basement dwellers|players]] end up asking themselves at one point in the game. Then they order a pizza.
Image:Advice Misha.jpg| Interpreter [[win|fail]].
Image:Suggestwin.jpg| Hanako making a great suggestwin.
Image:Hidin'Expert.jpg| Rin, great hide & seek player or GREATEST hide & seek player.
Image:HandlessHandout.jpg| Rin is an armless ADD asswipe.
Image:KSfinalboss.jpg| The [[final boss]] of the game clasping your torso with <s>her</s> its mighty claws.
Image:ThecancerthatkillingM.jpg| The [[cancer]] that is killing Misha is...cancer.
Image:CripPWN.JPG| HAHAHAHA, it's funny because he's actually a [[fagot]].
Image:PeriodofChange.jpg| This turns on fans because they are [[sick fucks]]
Image:1245455560100.png|[[FSJAL|You're looking the wrong way you dumb blind bitch!]]
Image:DHBJ.jpg|Protip: If someone laughs while giving you a blowjob [[kill yourself]].
Image:AGBJ.jpg|Protip: Pretending your dick is a balloon is a bad idea.
Image:DGBJ.jpg|Protip: If you get off on rape, don't fuck a mute.
Image:Givingtehcoco.jpg|Protip: When your partner asks for "the chocolate" in bed, shit in her mouth.
Image:Bushcheney04.png|Dick Cheney had a heart condition.
Image:Really_Bad_Ending.png|[[Fact|The worst ending there is in a pill]].
</gallery>}}

== See Also ==
*[[Visual novel]] - What this is.
*[[Online sex games]] - Not quite what this is.
*[[Animu]] - The style the characters are based after.
*[[Ronery]] - What you are.
*[[Hentai]] - What this essentially is.

== Links ==
* http://katawa-shoujo.com/ - The homepage.
* http://ks.renai.us/ - The forum where the sick fucks like [[you]] go, to talk about the game.
* http://shimmie.katawa-shoujo.com/ - The art page where said sick fucks like you go to fap to pictures related to the game
* http://katawashoujo.blogspot.com/ - The blog where devs [[lemonparty|highlight each others' achievements]] and articulate their [[Asking_for_it|relationship with their fanbase]]

{{Gaming}}
{{chans}}
{{anime}}
{{Timeline|February 19 and 20, [[2012]]|[[Greece]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Jews did WTC]]}}

[[Category:Visual Novels]]
[[Category: Gaming]]

Wapanese

2024-11-25T20:43:17Z

Feverflow:

{{Achtung|ATTENTION ALL NEWFAGS WHO DISCOVERED 4CHAN IN 2011 OR LATER: THE CORRECT SPELLING IS "WEEABOO", NOT "WEABO" OR ANY SIMILAR VARIANT [http://www.pbfcomics.com/71/ (SOURCE)]}}

[[File:Did-someone-say-weeaboo-bat-meme-original.png|thumb|300px|The Original]]

{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Kirsten Dunst being a weeaboo while singing a song about nutting'''</big></center> 
<center><youtube>C0X3CLJVMJU</youtube></center>
 
{{quote|For being a video glorifying weaboos, this video is sadly lacking in panty shots|An observation}}
|}

[[File:Weaboos_anime.jpg|thumb|300px|[http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2011/01/12/seiyuu-to-otaku-have-you-losers-ever-had-a-date/ How Japan views Weeaboos]: startlingly accurate.]]
[[File:Kawaiiguy.jpg|thumb|OMGKAWAIIDESUDESU]]

[[File:Westaboo.jpg|thumb]]

The '''Wapanese''' (親日, ウィーアブー, also referred to as "[[Pedophiles|Japanophiles]]," "weeaboo" (or "weeb"), "fucking idiots," or "[[you]]") are, much like [[wigger]]s, [[pain]]fully clueless [[White people|honkies]] (and increasingly [[negro]]s) [[trying too hard|trying]] to fill a perceived cultural void by pretending not to be white (or a [[nigger]])—in this case, trying to be yellow by humping the giant Godzilla leg of the [[Japan|Land of the Rising Shit]] in hopes of being assimilated into its [[culture]].

To put it simply, a [[Faggot|weeb]] is any [[Aimee Major Steinberger|non-Japanese]] who has any interest in anything Japan related that would be somewhat comparable to occult worship, along with attempting to be an actual Jap, where it always ends up with said weeb failing hard as they cannot realize that one cannot really learn about Japan through viewing anime. They generally have a serious case of [[Yellow Fever]] and worship [[J-pop|Ayumi Hamasaki]] among other [[lie|famous]] [[J-pop]] artists, along with eating [[pocky]] as if it's their staple diet. So badly do the Wapanese wish this that they often dedicate entire afternoons to memorizing ''up to five common phrases'' in [[Language|Japanese]], though later misusing them at the [[food]] court or at [[animu]] conventions. This, of course, only serves to further illustrate what flesh-bags of [[fail]] these [[basement dweller]]s really are.

Just as Jews are responsible for [[Christians]] and [[Muslims]], Wapanese are responsible for [[bronies]] and [[social justice]] warriors. In fact, several SJWs started off as pocky-eating Japan-worshiping weebs, guilty of their own [[white]] culture. This is just another reason to hate these cretins.

If you happen to see a Wap on the prowl, make no attempt to engage it in conversation, you will hear such great amounts of bullshittery that you cannot help but mercilessly rip the bastard apart. But instead, curse it in silence, for it is the bane of [[Americunts|American]] youth. Well, next to [[furry|another "subculture" you're hopefully not aware of, which more than deserves the same treatment]]. But that's another story.

Because the lifespan of these fucking dingalings only last until the end of high school for half of them, most will grow up cynical and shameful, turning to the next [[Korea|cultural trend]] used for the boosting of their egos. The other half will end in one of three ways:
# Dying alone as an elderly virgin surrounded by small plastic figurines that cost hundreds of dollars each along with $40 imported CDs by obscure [[Portal:Music|Japanese bands]] no one else has ever heard of nor will admit to liking except them.
# Being raped to death in prison (oh, [[teh]] [[irony]]!)
# Committing [[Suicide|IRL self-pwnage]] after arriving in Japan and discovering that it's not full of enormously-breasted women who want to sleep with pasty, fat Caucasian lardballs. Their [[NOVA|last words]] are usually "''[[Megatokyo]]'' lied to me..."

==Weeaboo Behavior==
[[File:Threeeyesbyimobsessed31copy.png|right|thumb|200px|Typical wapanese fan art, [[Not gay|notice the hot Naruto action going on.]]]]
[[File:Japanisbestasian!!!111!!.png|thumb|200px|Your typical weeaboo. Notice the hatred of Korea.]]
[[File:Cosplayingexpertatthebest.jpg|thumb|right|Rare specimen of a [[nigger]] weeaboo]]
{{squote|Im looking for a bento (that's japanese for lunch) box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi(small) sized. And has to be really [[kawaii]] (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make sure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in [[japan]]. and not in [[china]] or corea ([[korea]]) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)
|[[You]]}}

[[File:Weeaboo_edits_eyes.jpg|thumb|Serious [[Adobe® Photoshop®|shopping]] to appear of the [[Asia]]n persuasion.]]
[[File:Wapanesewetdream.jpg|thumb|What every Wapaneses ends up dating]]
The average Wapanese will whine non-stop about how anyone who professes an interest in Japanese "culture" is merely a [[poser]] when compared to themselves. They will then play their favorite overpriced "Visual Kei" CD and attempt (badly) to mouth the lyrics while crunching loudly on the last few sticks of Pocky they ordered from J-List.

Weeaboos are known to constantly complain about the country in which they live in comparison to Japan. However, any one of these Wapanese living in Japan will last about two weeks before returning home, realizing that the great [[Kurt Cobain|Hide Matsumoto]] is dead and no self-respecting [[Japanese]] will [[Secks|make sexy time]] with them. This is because the [[retard]]s are blind of the fact that thinking they can be Japanese by "acting" like a Japanese person is [[Offended|racially insensitive]], and they learned what little Japanese culture they know purely from [[fap]]ping to [[animu]] they saw on [[Adult Swim]]. Thus why it is usually looked up upon, as good practice, to strangle weeaboos in their own bathrooms facing the sink mirror!

Nearly all of them are [[jailbait]] and tend to be [[bisexual]] or [[gay]] from looking at too many pretty Japanese manboys in dresses. None the less, it doesn't matter because they're all virgins. All of them have or want a tattoo in Han characters (Kanji), either "hope" (望), "prosperity" (盛) or something equally gay (同性愛) and a [[deviantART]] account filled with shitty anime drawings of [[catgirl]]s and lots of [[emo]] [[poetry]].

As most Wapanese are unable to get to [[Japan]],they instead attend anime conventions claiming they are there [[lies|just to check out the J-bands]] or [[truth|talk about anime]], even though their music interests (usually [[J-Pop]] or [[J-Rock]]) change weekly and the only anime they have ever seen was on [[Adult Swim]].

Many Wapanese dress in [[crap|Decora]], [[EGL]], [[Loli]]ta, or any annoying fashion that the Japanese use to lure in whitey's beaucoup bucks. Most of them squint their round eyes, wear wigs that are normally in a ridiculous color (such as bright blue, pink... etc.) or it simply looks retarded on anything human, and photoshop their skin tone to make them appear more Azn in their pictures which normally results in them looking ten times more horrid than when they started. [[Caramelldansen]] is the theme song for all Wapanese, as the vast majority of them are too stupid and suck at Japanese too much to realize that it is actually [[Swedish]]. The two languages sound nothing alike but this doesn't stop them from (badly) singing along during every one of their [[masturbation]] sessions thinking its Japanese.

While most Wapanese maintain they will only settle for a genuine Japanese{{tm}} girlfriend or boyfriend, most invariably end up settling for another Wapanese. The pair will go about collecting their meaningless Japanese trinkets together, endlessly watching [[Bleach]], [[Death Note]], and [[Naruto]] and making statements like, "It's kawaii how L-chan looks like a chibi panda, [[desu]] yo ne!?"

Every once in a while, a lucky Wapanese will manage to find the [[Azn]] in self-denial, such as AtJap13, Kazakai, etc, a slope who tends to have been born in the U.S. or some non-East Asian country and suffers from low self-esteem or [[Asperger's syndrome|Ass Burger Syndrome]]. This matters little to the Wapanese, who is just happy to have scored some Asian [[poontang]]. Or many will end up as basement dwelling permavirgins such as the [[Spoony|SpoonyOne]].

Most weeaboos will go onto every new official English dub video that is posted on YouTube and complain about how the English language sucks in comparison to the beautiful Nippon. ^______^ If that's not a sign of a weeb, then I don't know what is.

=== Japan's Atrocities ===

[[File:Nanking massacre 123.jpg|thumb|right|250px|An Honorable, Jap Soldier shows off his warrior pride and adherence to the Bushido code by killing an unarmed civilian]]

[[File:Jap murderer 123.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Small dicked Nip soldier sticking it to a Philipine Soldier]]

Like most [[Weeaboo]]s, you have been brainwashed through the propaganda machines of [[animu]], manga and Tv into thinking that [[Japan]] is incapable of doing anything wrong and [[you]] refuse to be swayed by arguments that your [[Azn|Yellow Masters]] haven't endorsed because they might cut you off from that sweet, sweet [[Sailor Moon]] [[Hentai]] that [[you]] most likely just finished polishing your [[penis|knob]] to and are only reading this because you need a break before you're ready to go for another round. 

As can be expected from all [[leftard|left leaning]], Junior High School liberals that take their cues from poorly Xeroxed copies of their civics teacher's personal communist manifesto, all of Japan's atrocities and War Crimes were completely reactionary and if it weren't for the [[evil]] empire-building of white countries like [[England]], [[France]] and [[America]], the war in the Pacific wouldn't have escalated like it did with Japanese soldiers murdering women, cutting little girls in half from [[vagina|cunt]] collar after having to endure a gang rape from 20 tiny dicked Japanese soldiers or just killing people for [[lulz|shits and giggles]].

What it comes down to, for weeaboos, is nothing but excuses as to why [[Japan]]🇯🇵 should always be blameless when it comes to the millions of innocent civilians murdered by the Empire driven, expansionist policies of the Meiji Restoration when they can keep following their idiot's form of using [[Germany]] and its Third Reich as their go=to example of what evil is. For people who blindly quote their Anime heroes by saying that evil should always be exposed to the light of day, these [[retard|champions of reason]] continually neglect to include their favored country of Japan because it keeps them well supplied with their much needed [[Masturbation|masturbation fodder]] of infant children taking a 10 inch cocks fresh from their Mother's [[vagina|clown hole]]. 

The favored form of trying to exonerate Japan from their war crimes is for these mooks to claim that [[Americunt]]s nuked these poor tojo bastards unfairly when they were already beaten forgetting that it was Japan's Warrior culture- that they worship so much- that led to countless millions being executed by the favored, weeaboo society of the Samurai simply because the Nips saw them as being inferior. 

Weeaboos live by and are constantly regurgitating these inane ideals of theirs about how honorable the Japanese are and killing the innocent, weak or unarmed is in contradiction to their warrior way despite literal millions of witnesses speaking the contrary. 

===Identifying someone as Wapanese===
There are many telltale signs of Wapanese, the biggest being that they will refer to one another as [[otaku]] (which they would not if they had any grasp on the word's meaning) and employ their distinctive dialect and appearance discussed above. Other warning signs include but are not limited to:

[[Image:Typical_fat_wapanese.jpg|thumb|150px|This is "[[A Cat Is Fine Too|honto kawaii neko chan]]"]]

<div style="height:200px; overflow:scroll; background-color:#eee;">
* Using the phrases they [[Kingdom Hearts|heard in an anime or video game from "Japan"]] or talking about [[animu|Japan]] IN EVERY FUCKING SENTENCE!
* Broken Japanese interspersed in conversation. A prime example would be [[Bradleh Daw Gaim]].
:* Claims to be "[[engrish|studying Japanese]]" or to have an interest in "[[Oxymoron|Japanese culture]]"
* Leeching off the [[history]] of Japan but ignoring any part that "looks bad" on Japan.
:* Ignores the fact the Allied Powers won [[World War II]] for a reason. (For fun, bring up the nuclear blast in conversation should it get too boring. For even more [[lulz]], mention the Rape of Nanking, the Bataan Death March, and the sadistic experiments carried out on humans at Unit 731 and watch them deny it like Ahmedinejad does the [[Holocaust]].)
:* Stubbornly defending Japan's long history of [[IRL]] [[banhammer]]ing [[China|other]] [[Korea|races]]. Also tending to have racist and nationalistic prejudice against any other Asian country that isn't Japan, common targets being [[China]], [[Best Korea]], and [[Good Korea]] and probably thinking nationalist groups like the uyoku dantai are "tottemo sugoi desu!" (However in reality, the uyoku dantai will want to lynch them because they are not Japanese, and they are such a disgrace to their magnificent culture.)
* Being culture parasites, that is, having a pathological interest in "[[animu|Japanese culture]]"
:* For potential lulz, mention that Japanese culture has essentially been a [[Plagiarism|ripoff]] of American culture ever since WWII (no srsly, everyone there under the age of 60 is basically a reverse weeaboo).
:* Taking up [[fail|Zen Buddhism]] or some other "Japanese" religious tradition, even if not actually a Japanese religion.
:* Ignoring facts such as: [http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2011/01/13/third-of-young-japanese-men-hate-sex/ 1/3 of Japanese men hate sex] and that [http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2011/01/12/seiyuu-to-otaku-have-you-losers-ever-had-a-date/ voice actors are sick of their shit].
* Trying to look Japanese and failing by...
:* [[Internet tough guy|Collecting "samurai" swords (usually manufactured in China) and posing in photos with them.]]
:* Hanging out with Asians or in Asian-looking locations wherever possible
:* Wanting to take in the local Asian culture festival every spring, no matter how viciously dull it is.
:* Insisting on using chopsticks to consume everything from hamburgers to pizza to YOUR FAVORITE, CHEEKON ANDA WAFFURU.
:* Listening to shitty [[J-Rock]] [[Music|bands]] [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody has ever heard of]] and believing that every [[male]] in Japan™ is a [[Dickgirl|hermaphroditic]] [[transvestite]].
* Listening to Vocaloid or other J-Pop like Kyary and believes that the majority of people in Japan actually listen to these types of music, or is actually good or inspiring music. (true fact: no one in Japan likes this type of music)
* INSISTING on watching their [[anime]] in Japanese with subtitles, because unlike you, they can "understand it" and can't stand dubbed voices ([[Baka|Because only BAKA GAIJIN POSERS watch things in English]]!) Claims they find "[[Harem Animu]]" funny.
* Has at least one account on [[Gaia Online]] or any other dumb fucking Asian-themed site like Crunchyroll, a JewTube [[wannabe]] site infested with Japanophiles and/or [[Koreaboo|Koreanophiles]].
:*Bonus points: Username and/or [[99.9%]] of their [[friends list]]'s names ending in "u", "i" or "-chan" or are a butchering of the name of some J-Idol or Azn Bandguy they want to screw.
* Their life dream is not only to go to Japan{{tm}}, but also to break into the [[anime]], [[manga]] or [[video game]] industry.
:* Shitting themselves whenever someone around them speaks actual Japanese. Double points if the person speaking actual Japanese is white; triple points if black person.
:* Working in a high school in Japan as an ALT (assistant language teacher) and thinks the Japanese staff working there actually give a single fuck about them.
* Being friends with the [[King of the Weeaboos]]
</div>

[[TL;DR]]: [[Animu|JAPAN]] GOOD, everything else = SHIT!

In photographs, a wapanese will always be [[fat]] and [[ugly]], always make the peace/victory sign with one hand while squinting and contorting their already grotesque facial features into a more grotesque approximation of the ^_^ [[smiley]]. [[Female]]s have a compulsive need to wear at least one item of [[Hello Kitty|Sanrio]] clothing at all times, and truly desperate Wapanese will wear a shitload of eyeliner to make their eyes appear [[Azn|chinkier]], that or put scotch tape on the sides of their eyes to pull their eyelids tighter.

===How to Troll===
* '''Go to an anime forum.''' Make sure you search "Should we have dropped the Atom Bomb anime forum". If you don't see a site where you know anime is the central topic, go there Nao! Make a forum about the topic and then point out to any opposers the crimes the Japanese committed and the videos of the citizens committing suicide on YouTube.
*'''Say "anime sucks!"''' and use a better show to compare a highly popular anime show. You could use shows like Wallace and Grommit/Robot Jones/early SpongeBob and other great western anime to show em'. Protip: Poopy, crudely-animated 2010's animu like [[Wut|Adventure Time]] or [[Drug|the Amazing World of]] [[cat|Gumball]] is perfect because it's everything anime isn't. <s>Which is actually "being funny."</s> (Disregard that, neither of the aforementioned shows are funny.)
*'''Force weeaboos to watch videos about weeaboos''' and neckbeards, like "Deibiddo Kun LOVES Japan".
*Point out that '''Japanese kids LOVE America''', and think that Yank Animation, Yank Music, Yank Food, God and Yank Religion (see Superbook, Japanese-dubbed American Christian Cartoons, and The Flying House) is all vastly superior to their own. Using the children of the object of their obsession against them is the ultimate attack.
* If a [[feminazi|female weeaboo]] leftard says she hates America, link articles and videos to the Rape Club and then point out that [[Fact|Japan believes Men come first.]] And that her liberal, pocky-pooping cherry-butt would be better off staying in the states.
- If she says she doesn't care, show her videos of Japan's extremely inhumane historical actions, like Unit 731. If she says she just wants to, then call her a no life weeaboo that Japan wouldn't tolerate, throwing her into a Japanese retard clinic.
* Say that Popee-style thigh-high socks are overrated. This is one of the few things they actually have in common with the Japs, they both are over-obsessive with this crap that they'll both wear waterproof thigh-high socks in the shower and while swimming.
* The only other way they're like the Japanese is that they're also very butthurt about MMD stuff being distributed and shared. So share passwords, share files, share videos, and especially share nude models and MMD porn.
* If a Man says or acts like a weeaboo, ask him why. He'll probably claim Japan is better because [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|Women are nicer, more beautiful, and people aren't mean]]. Point out that Asian girls are considered a fetish and generally act weird.
* Remind them that before Macarthur (an American) took over, post-war Japan was a complete shithole.
- If he disagrees then point out that Japanese men prefer American women, just look at the polls and the anime. Many anime characters don't even have Japanese features and even real life Japanese bitches dye their hair and wear contacts to change their eye color.
-If he disagrees and says he still likes Japanese girls. Point out that they want somebody who's cool. Usually a strong white guy, or a thuggy black guy. If you are neither than you'll have a harder time. Usually this is true, because most anime fan-males are goths.
-If he says you're spamming, call him a hopeless weeaboo who will die alone in ALL CAPS, expect [[RAGE]]!
-There is no?????? Just PROFIT!
*Go to [[4chan]] and talk shit about them all being [[Truth|basement dwellers and weeaboos]]. It gets lulzly.
*Tell them anime sucks. The [[butthurt]] will flow through them.

===Variant Strains===
[[File:Vivi udoli blasian.png|thumb|Half-breed Monkey/[[Nigger]] trying to be a [[Japan|Jap]] trying to be a [[cracker|White]], OH GOD [[Kill it with fire|KILL IT WITH FIRE]] ]]
The''' Wapanese in Denial''' can be found religiously on [[4chan]], [[Gaia Online]] and other shitty sites that are either Japanese-looking or [[2chan|Japanese Knockoffs]]. They attempt to counteract any identification as Wapanese, but fail as they have any/all of the normal wapanese traits. They throw fits when confronted on being a Wapanese/Japanophile and will claim not to care if they'd be put up on this site, but still [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|secretly remove as much proof of being Wapanese as they can]].

'''Blasians''' (aka the Nighongo or Chinegro) are basically where niggers and W.A.S.P.s intersect. Although more tolerable than [[ghetto]] [[niggers]], they are one of the worst cases of [[fail]] ever. This is what happens when you leave your jigs unattended. Somebody [[Doing it wrong|direct these confused people]] to some [[Worldstar_Hiphop|Worldstar Hiphop]] videos and a local [[KFC]], or at least slap the bitch until they realize they aren't Asian.

Here is an example of what your average [[nigger|azn]] does in it's spare time. We will kindly thank Aaron Abdullah for his contribution to studying this particular race of weaboos.

====The Opposite side of the retard spectrum, but still fucking retarded====

We at ED have provided glorious examples of the fucktardery that is the Weeaboo fandom at its most lulzy and worst, providing you something you can look at whilest jerking off to your self satisfaction of you supposedly being less retarded than those depicted in ways which aren't yet known by us.
[[File:Faggottumblrguy.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Lord, look at those tags. Well at least you're being honest.]]
But we've also come to a major discovery in the last few years, and apparently some of our best have discovered that there is more to the weeabbo infestation than just [[Magibon|camera whores]], [[Snapesnogger|gay orgy fanfiction writers]], [[Firedarkdragon|piles of emotional messes]], [[Superdemon-Inuyasha|hilarious hacks of artists]], [[Reyvataeil|Animu Forum faggots]], [[DivineAngel|crys of self denial and pain]], and [[Arudou Debito|even greater jokes of gaijin fucks jacking off abroad]], there exists an ever greater territory of the retard spectrum of weeabo faggotry.

They are known as '''Hypocrite Weeaboos''' or at their most lulziest, '''Reject Weeaboos'''.

[[File:hamlet_yaoicon.png|200px|thumb|right|The [[yaoi]] world's most famous raging weeb-in-denial, [[HamletMachine]].]]
[[File:Imaginary women.jpg|thumb|right|When [[Cosplayers]] call you out, you have a problem.]]Also known as anime elitists, Japanese (insert popular culture subject here) Culture experts, self entitled "Not Weeaboos" or "Actual Anime Fans", Japanese (insert popular culture subject here) Culture Buffs, "Not A Pussy Nerd" Anime Fans, and/or even "Anti Moe likers", these Weeaboos are the opposite end of the spectrum of weeabbo fucktardery.

A '''[[hypocrite]] Wapanese''' is almost identical to the [[Valerie (Pai)|Wapanese in denial]], though the hypocrite version tends to be more annoying. These tossers mince about claiming they hate Wapanese, but cream their fundoshi when [[NOVA|they get the opportunity to go to Japan]].

A Hypocrite Wapanese who has attended college, believing himself to be [[retard|intellectual]], becomes a '''Reject Wapanese'''. The Reject Wapanese is fed up with and "rejects" the "main stream" of current anime, such as [[Naruto]], anything currently playing on [[Adult Swim]], and anything related to [[Moe]] is the cancer of all animu. Instead, the Reject Wapanese goes back to the [[bullshit|early manga]] of the 1960's and 70's such as work by [[crap|Osamu Tezuka and Leiji Matsumoto]]. They will also be the biggest fucking prudes and [[Unwarranted Self Importance|elitist fucks]] you will ever meet, and will possibly make actual weeaboos more tolerable in comparison. Don't believe us? Check [[Colony drop|here]] and [http://evilneps.livejournal.com/profile here].

Protip: [[truth|Tell him everything Tezuka has ever done, especially Astro Boy, sucked]] then make fun of his B.A. in [[shit nobody cares about|Philosophy and Literary Theory]]. Be sure to mention his [[unemployed|inability to get a job]] and ask him if anyone other than other rejects at conventions can even understand him, or if anyone likes him at conventions for being the self-absorbed, petty and insular fuck he is.

While they put on an air that they are "normal" or "sane", their true forms come out when they furiously masturbate to their computer screens. They themselves hold a great amount of complete self entitlement and unwarranted self importance, thinking that because of their "college level education", "high wit and charm", and "internetz smarts", makes them greater, better, intellectual weeaboos than the "lowly slime" on the other side of the spectrum, but are just as fucking unwise, full of shit and having no brains like their much loathed opposites, because what both have in common is the fucktarded, self indulgent masturbation because they believe whatever "mysterious, exotic" bullshit they place on a top pedestal is "so deep and insightful", but is nothing more but the same reason as their brainfucked counterparts have: fill a perceived cultural void by pretending not to be white.

They may type out full sentences with grammar, a good vocabulary, and no spelling errors, but that's to just mask the "I like this sophisticated anime, it's much better than this animu and the fans that like it" elitist fucktardism of enjoying anything Japanese for the sake of feeling a soul, which we're very sure they never were born with. Ironically, this deficiency is indeed something they share with the filthy Tojos.

Here are some examples of Reject Weeaboo behaviors and how you all can help spot the fucktarded:

*Retarded, pasty-white douchebags still stuck in their nostalgia and fandom whoring well into their 30s, thinking that Japan will suck their dongs through whining about their animu obsessions they picked up while attempting to pierce their firm white cheesedicks into Japan in the 1980's and bashing on weeaboos that don't fit their agenda to have anime attract people that never knew about anime, and will fuck them because their animu tastes "are so sophisticated".

*Internet Tough Guys that are reject weeaboos who are often dedicated and jerk off furiously to stuff like Hokuto no Ken, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, or some other [[lol wut|mangoes]] that were produced in the 1980's. They often lurk on the internets looking for animu they can troll; also are likely gamers, make blogs dedicated to their manchild like obsessing around anime with mainly huge muscle bound main protagonists duking it out with other muscle bound characters and... You know what? Fuck it, they're gay.

*The Number One Weeaboo for the fourth consecutive year is Andy "Hokage" Perez of the Little Tokyo Community in Little Tokyo. For more information about this ranked number one weeaboo, please refer to his official website at [http://weaboo.web44.net The Champion of Weeaboos]

*Wannabe Alpha Geek Reject Weeaboos. These weeaboos are the worst kind of weeaboos, and they are often [[Dead|short]] [[Murder|numbered]] for a [[Unwarranted Self Importance|reason]]. These pseudo intellectual fucktards are most commonly found on sites like Gaia, either make their own blogspots, or are located in some retarded comics related forum. Claiming to have a taste in teh animu much better than their brainfucked weeaboo siblings, likely watching things no one fucking cares about, and that they have "a diverse taste in other mediums of entertainment", they are also the biggest douches that you will ever meet, and from the time spend on their sites furiously pleasuring themselves to making "intellectual debates" ('''SPOILER''': It's them wasting their time like the ego driven insufferable smartass nerd douchebags they really are) over why [[Pretentious|XXX-oholic]] is a [[Retard|more symbolic and insightful]] than [[Death Note]], you will know why they don't spend any time off of their precious site after working at Game Stop or going to college for Literary Advancements in Comic Books. 
'''SPOILERS''' It's either that they're fucking hideous and no one wants to hang out with them, they're either so fucking nerdy and smartassed that no one wants to hear about their reasons of why you should watch [[Pussy|Revolutionary Girl Altena]] or that they never shut the fuck up about why they know about everything and you don't, or any combination of the above.

Remember [[There are no girls on the internet|ladies]] and [[gentlemen]], just because you have intellect, it doesn't mean you can't be a fucking loser and insufferably retarded ego hoarder! And we know that there are more insufferable intellect disguised fucks out there that we know we can make a [[Lulzcow|lulzcoaster]] out of. We've only gotten started, so don't watch your back; just hold tight as we ram it nice and hard into your ass like the insufferable Nip Entertainment worshiping [[Attention Whore|internet whore]] you are.

==Useful Wapanese phrases==
[[File:Wapaneseseaking.jpg|thumb| Even the amazing [[Seaking]] is affected negatively by Wapanese.]]
[[File:Aznova.jpg|thumb|What Wapanese and real [[Japan|AZNs]] have in common: they suck at foreign languages.]]

Wapanese have a tendency to [[Rape|butcher]] [[Japanese]], mixing what few words and phrases they know in Japanese and sprinkling them all over their primarily English sentences. Expect to hear such statements as: "That dress is so kawai I wish I could ganbaru like that too, ne! Demo, I can't desu! [[nyoro~n]] :3".
These commonly used words may help you identify a Weeaboo in the event their retarded, pitiless appearance aren't dead giveaways:

# ''"Konnichiha!"'' (今日は, Japanese mating call of the North [[American]] Giant Douchebag.)
# Hajimemashite ( 始めまして, "''HAJIMEMASHITE! [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|That means how are you doing]]~ kawaii, ne? ^__- *wink* lol''")
# ''"[[Baka]]!"'' (馬鹿, Noise made when clearing throat to dislodge half-eaten sticks of Pocky, a popular snack formed in a pointless stick shape and coated with the chocolate of shattered dreams.)
# ''"-chan"'' (ちゃん, Must be appended to ''every'' name to make it sound "cute.")
# suffixes/honorifics (敬称：ちゃん、君、等, "''Hey Mary-chan! How are u?!''", "''No Sasuke-kun, plz don't!''", ''etc.'')
# ''"[[Chibi]]"'' (ちび, Chibi dogs r adorable~ ^__^'')
# ''"[[Desu]]!"'' (です, Wapanese place this at the end of every sentence, desu, regardless of its contextual inaccuracy desu. Popularized by [[Rozen Maiden]] animu. However, DESU! spam may be appropriate in the context of a [[raid]], [[trolling]] or some other epic maneuver provided that lulz are the objective desu.)
# ''"Itai, or Itatata~~!!"'' (痛い, Heard when Wapanese hurt themselves. Signals the hearer to hurt them more.)
# ''"[[Kawaii]]!"'' (可愛い, Wapanese standard warning for, "Do not look directly at.")
# ''"Nani?"'' (何, The Japanese word for "[[what]]?" Weeaboos think it makes them cool to use this whenever someone addresses them. It is also an invitation to get socked in the fucking face.)
# ''"Ne!"'' (ね, Usually said after sentences as a sign for the listener to clock 'em. Ne is actually a exclamation, while ねえ nê is equivalent to [[amirite]]. However, no Wapanese realize this as it would entail actual knowledge of the language.
# ''"Sugoi!"'' (すごい, Phrase said when they're sure they've found their new mating partner, possibly Japanese, or [[Asian]], but probably another failed Wap like themselves.)
# ''"Yo!"'' (よ, pronounced 'yoh', translation: basically an '!'. Usually said in conjunction with 'desu' and 'ne'. e.g. - "OMG KAWAII DESU YO NE~!1!!!!")
# ''"[[KittenBellNSFW|Nekoberu]]"'' ('''猫ブル''', pronounced Neck-Oh-Beh-Rew Rew rhymes with [[Jew]] or Shoe) Means Kitten Bell. Not used at all in [[Japan]]. It is a [[Neologism]] created when Weeaboos combined the Japanese word Neko (猫 or cat) with Beru (ベル or bell). It is mostly used as a figurative image in the sub-genre of the Catgirl in [[Furfag|Furry]] art to inform that the CatGirl or NekoJin that the viewer is looking at is underaged.
# ''"[[KittenBellNSFW|NekoJin]]"'' ('''猫人''', pronounced Neck-Oh-Gin and means Catgirl or Cat People) Another weeaboo [[Neologism]] used to describe the Half-cat, Half-Human furry fetish. Your more snobbish weeaboos prefer to use ''"Nekohito"'' ('''猫人''', pronounced Neck-Oh-He-Toe Definition: cat people/person or cat/human implying that it's a cat/human hybrid). Like NekoJin and Neckoberu, it is another Weeaboo [[Neologism]].
# ''"NekoMimi"'' ('''猫耳''', Pronounced Neck-Oh-Me-Me. Literal Definition: Cat Ears. The proper [[Japan|Japanese]] word for the catgirl fetish as it describes that breed of girl that likes to run around Japan wearing Cat Ears.) So you don't look like a fool trying to impress a native speaking Japanese person, it is redundant to call a cat's ears NekoMimi ('''猫耳'''). The proper way to say it would be ''The Cat's ears'' or ''Neko No Mimi.'' Literal translation, ''The ears of the cat.'' '''(猫の耳)'''

====Using the Japanese Language Against Them====

[[File:Aniwapanese.jpg|thumb|Even animu animators want the Wapanese to [[STFU]].]]
Due to the fact that weeaboos are incapable of understanding(let alone pronouncing) Japanese, it is quite easy to troll them by using the very language they revere. They'll probably be shitting bricks over how much you appear to know, but you will walk away with the satisfaction that you verbally abused them without them even knowing it.

*Weeaboo: Aren't I soo totally kawaii [[desu]] ne???!!!1!111
:*Response: はい、とってもかわいそうです。 ''Tottemo kawai sô desu.'' (Translation: Yes, You are very pitiful.)

They will probably think you know Japanese, and think you complimented them. This will usually result in them prodding you with the question "OMG Leik do u spaek Nipongo?"

Response: はい、貴様の豚の顔はたわごとのような臭いがする。 ''Hai, kisama no buta no kao wa tawagoto no yôna nioi ga suru.'' (Translation: Yes, you, your asshole's pig face smells like shit.)

===Kawaii [[Copypasta]]s===

WARNING: After reading these, you may feel the urge to commence [[Suicide#切腹 & 腹切 for the Otaku|seppuku]]. Please do so.



<div class="1stweebpasta">

Omg hai ^___^ Im Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ [[anime]] <3 and my fav is [[Naruto|naurto]]!!!!! OK so anyways, I'm going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband [[Naruto|Sasuke]]!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! SUPAA [[kawaii|KAWAII]] [[DESU]] NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^= I looked up and saw [[Naruto|SASUKE]]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!

KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPAA SUPAA SUPAA KAWAII [[Naruto|SASUKE]]-SAMA!!!!! I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!

he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a [[pocky]] shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TONGUE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! [[O rly|RLY]]!! >.> <.< >.< (^O^) (^O^) (^O^)] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT'S MY MAN WHY DON'T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó) then Sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me!!!!!!!! And guess what!!!!!! He kissed me again!!!!!!! ** \(^O^)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

</div>



<div class="2ndweebpasta">

Hai =^_____^= AI-SAN heeeeeerrreee!! <3 <3 ^______^ <333333333333333333 SASUKE IS HAPPY TOO!! OMG SUPA SUPA KAWAII ~DESU ~DESU Yay! <3 ^_^

Chances are you will see it again >.< <.< <333333333333 (^o^) because I LOOOOOOVVVVEEEE telling everybody about my HUBBYZZ SAKUKE! ((<<)- OMG! I LOVE HIM SO MUCHEEEZZ. he is so KAAAWWWAAAIIIII!!!!! ^.^ <33333333 ~desu ~desu

...

OMG! SASUKE CAME HOOMMMEE! hes home everyone !!!^^. look look, hes home ^^ <333333333333 @_@@@@@@@ ''''____-;;;;;;;;

@@ OH MY GODZZZ SASUKE IS KISSING ME ON THE NECK!!! (@@ (òó) (òó) (òó)>>) he wants to make love to me 0.0. OMG! my heart is racing a million miles an hour <333333333 Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! YAYYYY!! ZZZZ NYAAAA!! ^^

Bai Everyone... ME AND SASUKE ARE OFF TO MAKE MORE BABIES.. Yay Yay!!! bumpy bumpy time! Hours of fun time IN SASUKES BED..... NAKED!! OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!! <33333333333 [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! >__** ** (O)/ YAY! Yay! happy happy haaaaapppppppppppyyyyyy!! NEKO NEKO KAWAII SUPA supa SUPA KAWAII DESU DESU ; ) "",.._____^^ (--(

NYAAA! ^_^

</div>



<div class="3rdweebpasta">

AI-SAN HEEERRREEEE!!! ===>________^===;;;;;;;;;;

I just came back from VACATION at the <333333333 KAWAII ZONE ^__~ and guess what... IM WITH SASUKE ON THE WHOLE VACATION <3333333!!! =^_____^= OMGZZZZZ HES SO HOT WITH THAT SUPA SUPA SEXY ABBS!!! DESU DEUS >.> >_> ^o^ ^_< HE'S SO FRIGGIN SUPA SUPA KAWAII!!! @_@@_@@_@ NYAAAA! ~desu ~desu

NOW i'm going to tell you about the BEST VACATION OF MY LIFE :D :D :D WITH MY HOT HUBBY SASUKE!!! <33333333333 SUPA SUPA KAWAII VACATION WE HADDDD!!!! <333333333333 ^3^ ^3^ @_@@@@@ =^____^;;;;;

While we were walking down the beach, holding hands... ^_____~;;; (of course, HE'S MAH HABBEH AND I LUUUV HIM SOO MUCHEZZZ <333333) i saw some FAT GUIZE AND BITCHES ON OUR POOL -_- OMG WHY DO THEY HAVE TO CLOG UP OUR KAWAII VACATION?!??!? -_- >.< ò_ó TT______TT;;;;

then Sasuke (w/ his SUPA KAWWAIIII ABS O.O;;;;;) released his SUPA PAWAFURU RASENGAN (or is it chidori, i'm ssoooooo braindead -_-) and BLASTED *O* THOSE FAT NERDS AND HOES OFF OF OUR ROMANTICA POOL *_* <33333333 =^________^;;;;
while everyone was looking ôoô guess what... WE WERE HAVING SEX ON THE POOL WITH KAWAII SASUKE!!!!!!! ^______^';';';';' <333333333 everyone was envious >:P, and while we're having our bumpy bumpy time <3333 WE MADE 953 BABIES ON THE TRIP o_____________o;;;;; THEY WERE SOOOOOOO SUPA SUPA @_@ SUPA KAWAII =^==____^L;LL;; THEY BECAME CHIBI NINJAS *_** AFTER THAT

bai everyone, we're off to SASUKE'S APARTMENT TO MAKE MOAR BEBEZZZ ^__________^ <333333333333333333 OMG THEY'RE SOOOOOO KAWAIII!! WE'RE GONNA HAV A FUN TIME NAKED ON SASUKE'S BED, MEKEN BEBEZZZZ alllll frigggeeeeen naitu ^____^;;;-0-=0=- YAY YAY!! NEKO SUPA BAKA SUPA neko sUPA KAWAII KAWAII DEUS DESU DUES! <3333333333333333333333333 ^ooo_^o^_^o_^ yay happy nEKo yay bAAK HAPpy NEKO KAWAII DESU SUPA DESU BAKA NEKO KAWAII SUPA BAKA NEKO SUPA DESU KAWAII!!! <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!)_)#$@(^_#*$#!(&_

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! <333333333 =^__________<=;'623;5[3r;t

</div>

If you say ANYTHING related to those, please commit hara-kiri. Thank you.

love and waffles,
*~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

==Videos==
<center>{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>d2FGgYp6mdk</youtube>Here is a prime example of a weeaboo subhuman.

|<youtube>rJBQ8KLH93U</youtube> 
|<youtube>PYUbUvzlvFw</youtube> 
|<youtube>gnDvMSN1b_g</youtube> 
|<youtube>aOm7CXojUzQ</youtube>Weaboo trying to be a [[fail|badass]]
|<youtube>FsNFhYgIXrg</youtube> 
|<youtube>KGD-mFTY6mw</youtube> 
|<youtube>V3tO_Mbp0oc</youtube> 
|<youtube>d81qFaoe010</youtube> 
|<youtube>XP5lz2CYNR4</youtube> 
|<youtube>ifA1AQe_NF0</youtube> 
|<youtube>pupTowgpVVo</youtube> 
|<youtube>5f6g2yBKi1o</youtube> 
|<youtube>12qKfLJtrtM</youtube> 
|<youtube>by9Nl-6kTWw</youtube> 
|<youtube>kB0P19JxrJ4</youtube>A real weeaboo in the wild.
|<youtube>5dOVrCVlEN0</youtube> 
}}</center>

===How the Outside World sees Weaboos===
<center>{{fv|heyvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>OFQQALduhzA</youtube> Pretty much everything you need to know about weeaboos.
|<youtube>8DJ1OeYnO9c</youtube> "I'm from Daytona BeachDAHRHRU" ([http://vimeo.com/30767628 alternate Vimeo link].)
|<youtube>mjmNzmG9qBg</youtube> "Loving Racism and [[Hello Kitty]] fans."
}}</center>


==Gallery==

{{cg|<center>^______________________________________^;;;;</center>|Bringmayo|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:weebsnaturalhabitat.jpg|Weaboo [[white trash]]'s natural habitat. Notice that they are mostly [[Fat]]
File:weebsomemore.jpg| [[Man The Harpoons|^__^]] notice the [[lie|natural hair color]]
File:Asianmouth.jpg|Preparing their mouths to [[fellate]] [[azns]]
File:Juji-Kimono.jpg|Another Mexican weeaboo.
File:Wapanese.jpg|I look Asian, right? [[Fat girl angle shot|Right?]] [[OMG|oMg]] [[Asking for it|LoL]]
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cosplaygays.jpg|With Weeaboos everything is fail, even [[lesbians]]
File:Fatskinnedcat.jpg‎|Fat weeaboo with a [[dead]], skinned [[cat]] on her back. Wearing your cat is so Kawaii in Japan!
File:Typical Blasian.jpg|Typical blasian
File:Wapanese1.jpg|[[trap|Wapanese Female]].
File:1_wapanese.jpeg|Go die kthxbye.
File:Animegrl.jpg|[[Over 9000|>9000]] hours in [[MS Paint]]
File:Anhero-animu-motivational.png|[[An hero]]
File:Cunt.JPG|[[J-Emo|Emoboo?]]
File:anna weeabo.jpg|Beware, mere mortal, for the sheer FAIL of the GaiaFAG.
File:Awful Black Cosplay.jpg|OH, THE SYPHILIS!
File:Kawaii Nigga.jpg
File:Black Asian-wannabe.jpeg|Where's a blowtorch when you need one...
File:Black Wapanese.jpeg
File:Black wapanese.jpg|cAn I hAz AzN 2?!
File:Blasian Chick.jpg|Parents obviously not solely responsible for this.
File:Chop-suey-glasses.jpg|Wapanese occasionally wear these.
File:Crapanese.jpg|No, squinting your eyes like that does not make you look Japanese. Stop that. Buy the chop suey specs instead.
File:Completelypathetic.jpg|[[Dying alone|I can't score here, but surely I will in Japan.]]
File:Dave.jpg|A fine example of a British weeaboo
File:Dontopen_youreyes_wap_fanservice.jpg|She wants to be Japanese and [[AFI|Davey Faggot]]
File:tatsujin-2.jpg|Those who import video games from Japan definitely fall into the weeaboo category.
File:Fapanese.jpg|Average tentacle rape-laden reading material (Note also the cock-filled stare)
File:FailWeeaboo.jpg|Underneath that armor is the pasty face of the great white Weeaboo.
File:Fatweaboo.png|Fat Weaboo bitch with a dead cat on her head thinking she's being so Japanese. Every Japanese person loves dead furballs on their heads.
File:Foxikun go Rawr.jpg| Also a [[furry]]
File:Geisha_twin_by_dean_winchester.jpg|More like Memoirs of a Gaysha, amirite?
File:GRP_0003.jpg|Attempting to blend in and still failing
File:Halloween2006_02.jpg|Immortal Geisha is the main breeding grounds for rich Weeaboos.
File:INfaggotry.jpg|This is what weeaboos believe.
File:Jailbaitwapanese.jpg|[[Jailbait]] Wapanese. Apparently she is [[16-year-old-girl|23 years old]] and she [[Photoshop|shopped]] all of her fat and acne off so she will look more [[Kawaii]] ^_____^
File:Japanada.png|[[Canadia|Japanada]]
File:JMusicLover.jpg|The Japanese mistake whales for <s>her</s> it.
File:Jpride.jpg|Mr. Can't Score Here continues his [[faggotry]].
File:Kairukun.jpg|Nyo! [http://www.myspace.com/dark_nosferatu Kairu-kun doing what he does best] Neko ears KAWAII DESU!
File:L 488d9c772d67ed6ebbd16c1db87e2ec7.jpg|Not even the shitty wig can cover up the ugly or the facial hair.
File:L e570b9ecbf48525715c40170150f7dc0.jpg|What's a weeaboo she-creature without the half-assed gothic lolita getup?
File:L_12f2def5cae7420ba0a19d95e07fb402.jpg|Weeaboos go to great lengths to look like Japanese schoolgirls, and still fail. [http://www.acen.org/forums/index.php?showuser=10773 Currently Pre-op tranny]
File:Letsgoteam3.jpg|What to tell Wapanese kids.
File:Loolollolweeabooo.jpg|A common maneuver to try to look Japanese, the use of pink dye only a faggot could love coupled with a fucktastic bowl cut. Note the all-important squinting of the eyes.
File:Loserwithgackt.jpg|Since Wapanese can't be close to Gackt, they just photoshop themselves in.
File:LulzWeaboofag.jpg|Typical Weeaboo on IMVU.
File:Miley_cyrus_makes_azns_butthurt.jpg|Miley is wapanese.
File:Mskittenbusted.jpg|Even '''trolling''' as a weaboo can land you in hot water.
File:N529954128 301810 9780.jpg|Typical wapanese cosplay.
File:NorimaroWapanese.gif|This is what all true weeaboos [[LINK MAH BOIIIII|strive for.]]
File:ObviousWeabooIsObvious.jpg|I'd hate to be Japanese right now.
File:OldGackt.jpg|All fangirls want to go to Japan and find their Gackt. How will they handle reality?
File:Omnomingwapanese.JPG|[[OM NOM NOM]]
File:PBF071-Weeaboo.gif|The first use of the word 'weeaboo' was in this Perry Bible Fellowship strip, but it gained popularity due to [[4chan]]'s word filter.
File:Pinkspiderninja.jpg|NINJA ATTACK O(^-^)o~!
File:Purikura by Haru Desuu.jpg|This is why black person [[weeaboos]] shouldn't own Sharpies. Ghetto purikura [[Pimp My Ride|DAWG]].
File:Seiran.PNG|Typical [[Youtube]] weeaboo
File:Shoujo.jpg|[[IRL|RL]] [http://www.myspace.com/supraex2 Ian] the Japanese schoolgirl, curing your yellow fever for good.
File:Stepsisternofriends.jpg‎|This weeaboo clearly has [[Dying_alone|no friends]]. So he resorts to his step sister. There will also proabably be [[Incest]].
File:Stupidest shit ever.jpg|Let's see: shit animu, [[homophobia]], [[lens flare]], Naruto, shitty [[watermark]] for [[shitty art]], so much fail in one picture.
File:Superwap.jpg‎|Some faggot waps just can't do it right.
File:Theobviousweeaboo.jpg|LULZ I noez kung fu! ^___^ (More like kung JEW)
File:UglierMel.jpg|They look even uglier in makeup.
File:Uglybitchyukata.jpg|Typical bitch in her Japanese clothing.
File:Uglyweeaboomandapanda.jpg|Outfit she will wear when she [[Never|moves to Japan when she's finally 18]].
File:Unibrowyuna.jpg|"I cast teh kawaii missile-chan into teh darkness desu."
File:Vivi 3.png| KAWAII DESU KA? n__n
File:Vivi Blasian 2.png|DESTROY IT, DESTROY IT NOW
File:wap.jpg|Note again the use of the Squint Tactic.
File:Wap-girl.jpg|A weeaboo in its natural habitat. Note the staple hand gesture and imitative squint of the wannabe Azn. Now you're so Wapanese female!
File:Wapanese.PNG|trying to fit in...
File:Wapanese_misfits.jpg|''So u say u wanna b [[retarded|diff'rent]], eh?''
File:Wapaneseeyes.jpg|A female in the advanced stages of the disease. Beware: could be possibly contagious and will hopefully lead to death.
File:Wapaneseeyes2.JPG| A black person with the disease. Very dangerous if you make eye contact with this [[Whore|exotic]] [[Fat|zoo creature]].
File:Wapanesewithpocky.jpg|Hopefully, this Wapanese will choke and die on this [[Pocky|overpriced shit-dipped compressed sawdust]]
File:Wappo Guy.jpg|Strip this guy of his photoshop disk
File:We Need To Talk.jpg|This person needs serious help.
File:Weabooboy.jpg|Ginger Weeaboo sitting on a DDR mat at his local mall. The Weaboo above happens to be his girlfriend.]]
File:Weabooewww.jpg|Typical Weeaboo girl flaunting her Hello Kitty shirt, her poorly made hair falls, her wanna-be raver getup, and doing the typical weeaboo eye squint.
File:Weeaboo DA.JPG|deviantART is the main breeding ground for Weeaboos.
File:Weeaboo-ironmouse-okc.jpg|‎Nothing sadder than a weeaboo fag in his 30s.
File:Weeabooatheart.jpg|Anime is [[srs bsns]]
File:Weeaboolunch.jpg|Typical weeaboo. Note neck beard.
File:Weeabooninja.jpg|Srsly
File:Weeaboos2of.jpg|Typical weeaboos think ninjas are awesome.
File:Weaboosatacc.jpg‎|A few [http://www.myspace.com/the_real_bacon Weeaboos] hangin' out at the [[Columbine|Dojo]]. Notice the animu doll.
File:weeaboosuperhonky.jpg|Another typical male weeaboo. Note the ginger halo.
File:Weeabootastic.jpg|Weeaboos in full battle gear
File:Weeaboowar.jpg|BY THE POWER OF GAYSKULL!
File:Weeabowigger.jpg|The fad of tatting Han characters on your back won't make you Japanese like this [[wigger]] thought when he combined them with some obscure rap [[tattoo]]s.
File:WeeabooWTF.jpg|WTF?
File:Weebs.jpg|[[Drug|Stoned]] weaboo
File:Wapaneseniggaboo.jpg|O lawd
File:Fakewapanesemexican.png|[[ZOMG]]! [[Mexican]]s trying to be Azn too!
File:Weeaboopokemoncenter.jpg‎|A weeaboo sitting outside the Pokemon center. She was probably hopeing that she will also meet a nice [[Azn]] hermaphrodite along with seeing trees of [[Pocky]].
File:chinkywhiteboy.jpg|<s>I CaN bE aZn 2!!1</s> lol wrong, [[scene]]fag
File:Hello_Kitty_zombie.jpg|She wants brains! And for you to buy her newest line of cute crap!
File:Weeabocar.jpg|Weeaboo Car
File:Animegirl.jpg|A weeaboo failing at being a scenefag
File:Weeaboomary.jpg|Japanesu so kawaii ^_^
File:Blasian guy.jpg|Negro got a perm
File:Ohshi.JPG|Boy George, a famous Japanophile. Also, really, really [[gay]].
File:Hontokawaiinekochan.jpg|I am so Kawaii uguu I'm cosplaying grorious nippon Mello-sama and I look completely like him.
File:Wapanesemandy.jpg|tottemo kawaii desu~
File:Svelt-ninja.jpg|pretty badass
File:Narutocafe.jpg|When weeaboos get lots of [[money]]
File:Desujapono.png| The story of the wapanese, who failed
File:Neko dresses as a Neko *Shudder*.jpeg|Acute sufferer of [[FGAS]], the [[furry]] fandom ''and'' [[Internet disease]].
File:Lolflandrecosplay.jpg|KAWAII DESU ^_________________________________^
File:Wapanese_training_toys.jpg|Training toys
File:And that's why I'm the perfect lover.jpg
File:Weeaboo_-_Samurai_Warrior_Is_Battle_Ready.jpg|<center>[[forever alone|"Emergency Situations"]]</center>
File:Weeaboo_-_Animu_Wapanese.jpg|Animu weeaboo
File:Anime_world2.jpg|Anime world
File:Weeaboo_Message.jpg
File:Amperehopemodel.jpg|How weeaboos spend time on [[Christmas]] break.
File:Reverse_Weeaboo.jpg
File:Wut_Wut.jpg
</gallery>|}}
{{Clear}}

==Wild Weeaboo Encounters==

When encountering weeaboos in their natural habitat (i.e. [[Clusterfuck|Conventions]], [[School|School]], [[IRL|etc]]), you must know they are dangerous, unpredictable and [[Whale|disgusting]]. Here are some records of various encounters with these beings. They are as likely to turn on one another as they are to turn on you and fuck your shit. If you are [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|weak of heart]] or [[RAGE|spirit]], it is advised you keep scrolling and don't look back.

{{cg|Horror Stories|weeaboos|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror.jpg|A harrowing encounter with a whale.
File:Glomped weeaboo horrors.png|A horrific, rib shattering "[[Glomp|glomp]]".
File:Chairchan Weeaboo horror.png|Handicapped girl is almost murdered.
File:Bloody Miku.png|Cosplayer discovers the horrors of a weeaboo's [[Vagoo|vagina]].
File:Sarah chan weeaboo horror.png|Thieving, [[Insane|psychopathic]] weeaboo roommate.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Yeast infected kisses by weeaboo horror.png|Yeast infected kisses.
File:Slit throat weeaboo horror.png|Another almost-murder.
File:Bike weeaboo horror.jpg|A weeaboo, a boy, and a bike. What could go wrong?
File:Wheelchair weeaboo horror.jpg|Another handicapped girl story.
File:Tae weeaboo horrors.jpg|Moar
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 0 1.jpg|Weeaboo encounter in a con, comic form. Original thread can be read [[:File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror.jpg|here]].
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 2 3.jpg
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 4 5.jpg
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 6 7.jpg
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 8 9.jpg
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 10.jpg
</gallery>|}}

==See also==
{{weeaboo}}

'''Weeaboo Junk'''
* [[Babel:Japanesu/Japan]] - The inside of a Weeaboos mind.
* [[Colony drop|Colony Drop]] - An example of when you have Reject Weeaboos on the loose.
* [[Doopie DoOver]]
* [[Desu-radio]]
* [[J-emo]]us the trying too hard with the cultural assimilation.
* [[SailorRWBY]] a Stereotypical Weeaboo who treats Sailor Moon and RWBY like untouchable GODS and a massive Frozen fagtard and a clopper and butthurt on much better products and complains about shit no one cares about.
* [[Pocky]] - Weeaboo bait.
* [[Questionable logic]] is how Weeaboo are created
* [[Ramen]] - Weeaboo rations.
* [[Teruaki Murakami]]- an actual Japanese person whose hentai serves as a gateway drug
* [[TV Tropes]], where weeaboos conspire to force their disease-ridden lingo upon the world.
* [http://instagram.com/wannablaze# WannaBlaze] A fat, Murrican weeaboo kicked out of Japan for being an annoying, drunk whore.

'''Very similar to Weeaboo'''
* [[Comic book fans]] - What almost all weeaboos are but refuse to admit.
* [[Koreaboo]] - Similar to a weeaboo, but obsessed with [[Good Korea]] instead of Japan.
* [[Otaku]] - Unlike weeaboos, these are actually Japanese, but the only real difference is min
* [[Pretendians]]
* [[Wolfaboo]] - A term, derived from "weeaboo", referring to overly obsessed [[wolf]] fans.
* [[Wigger]]
* [[Yellow Fever]]
* [[Confederate]]s - In modern-day, basically the weeaboos of the south.

{{anime}}
{{azn}}
{{fanfic}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 16, [[2006]]|[[Stumbleupon]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Tom Anderson]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article July 8, [[2006]]|[[MONGO]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Newgrounds]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now August 1 & August 2, [[2024]]|[[Mötley Crüe]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[You Will Never Be A Woman]]}}

[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]

Vordrak

2024-06-27T19:09:46Z

Feverflow: Gay reference.

{{watched}}

{{eduser|Vordrak}}

<table style="border:1px solid #cdcded; width:100%;">
<tr>
<td style="padding:5px;">[[File:Vordrak.jpg|border|150px]]</td>
<td style="padding:3px; vertical-align:top;">[http://www.webcitation.org/6a4fx7PqZ "[This article is] quite funny actually. The surprising level of detail makes me feel important."]
Inserting details improves Vordrak's self-esteem. Please add more details and surprises. Vordrak's happiness depends on it.</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:40px; left:-20px;pointer-events:none">[[Image:Chris Hansen Says Hi.gif]] </div>
[[File:ChubbyCheeksVordrak.png|thumb|Vordrak]]
[[File:Vordrak.png|thumb|upright|Vordrak before gaining chubby cheeks.]]
'''[[Powerword|Samuel Collingwood Smith]]''' (also known as '''Vordrak''', '''Matthew Hopkins''', and '''MHWitchfinder;''' born [http://chooseyourstory.com/user/points?username=Vordrak December 30], [http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Vordrak 1978]) is a [[British]] Conservative politician, activist, and law student who seeks to protect your daughter's precious bodily fluids against [[pedophiles]] and [[liberals]], whom [http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/storm_over_new_tory_s_baby_rapist_comments_1_13305 Vordrak places in the same category]. Vordrak operates [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/ a blog] named after [[wikipedia:Matthew Hopkins|a Puritanical, genocidal maniac]] who invented [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g the "duck test"]. The "journalism" contained therein primarily consists of wild claims of pedophilia against political opponents, people who have annoyed him, and random passers-by. Such claims appear to be [https://voat.co/v/KotakuInAction/comments/178908 motivated by his targets' opposition to GamerGate], this being Vordrak's means of exemplifying ethics in journalism.

Ironically, Vordrak sued an anonymous contributor to this article for [https://archive.is/rnfNd mocking his baseless accusations of pedophilia against his opponents by calling him one himself], and the satire was removed as a result. It's a good thing every person he falsely accused of being a pedophile didn't sue him, or he might not have been able to afford the lawsuit against the anonymous contributor, or the bounty he has on information leading to his true identity.

After [[Kiwi Farms]] created a thread about Vordrak in January 2016, Vordrak made it his life's mission to rid the world of Kiwi Farms and people who have fun laughing at online idiocy. After wasting an entire year of his life writing blog entries, [[Autistic screeching|screeching]] to hosts and authorities, and leading the [[Autistic Legion of Doom]] in a crusade to take down Kiwi Farms by targeting innocent members of [[Null]]'s family, including getting his mother fired from her job, [http://archive.is/vszi1 Kiwi Farms was temporarily closed down]. Vordrak ironically paints himself as a [[Hero|good guy]] in the victory of two evils while utilizing methods more sinister than typing mean things on an internet forum and resorting to IRL harassment in order to achieve victory. In the end, the greater of two evils won.

In June 2017 infighting led to at least two members of the [[Autistic Legion of Doom]] (Donny Long and [[Oliver Smith]]) to leave the group and oppose Vordrak, leaking many emails in the process.

==Welwyn-Hatfield==
[[File:Alan franey and jimmy savile.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Smith's fellow-Tory Franey, on the run with Savile]]
Sam Smith was elected to represent Welwyn-Hatfield's Haldens ward [http://www.welhat.gov.uk/index.aspx?articleid=2054 in June 2005]. Smith was a member of the [[Tony Blair|Labour party]] at the time. Smith ceased serving the Council in 2008, and in March 2009, [http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/ex_welwyn_hatfield_councillor_turns_on_divided_labour_1_22554 Smith joined the Conservative party] and [http://www.shapps.com/forum/index.php?action=media;sa=item;in=120;asc was embraced by Grant Shapps], the Conservative MP for Welwyn-Hatfield.

Within a week after [http://www.shapps.com/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=1548 joining Shapps's forum], Smith [http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/storm_over_new_tory_s_baby_rapist_comments_1_13305 made headlines]. Vordrak compared the [[Socialists|Liberal Democrats]] to a lady pedophile for supporting drug reform proposals:

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">Liberal policy poses a greater threat to our children than [pedophile and rapist] Tanya French does.</blockquote>

Vordrak's comment was deleted, and after receiving media attention, [http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/tory_new_boy_apologises_for_lib_dem_baby_rapist_comparison_1_18565 Vordrak apologized]:

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">I would like to apologise unreservedly for writing insensitive comments in the heat of debate.

I completely appreciate that it was inappropriate and offensive.</blockquote>

Afterwards, [http://www.shapps.com/forum/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=1548 Vordrak rarely posted to shapps.com], and [http://www.shapps.com/forum/index.php?topic=4830.0 threads about him disappeared].

In passing, it is interesting to observe that the deputy leader of Welwyn-Hatfield Council until May 2016 was Smith's fellow-Conservative, councillor '''Alan Franey''', [[Jimmy_Savile#Handing_over_the_Keys_to_the_Asylum|former chauffeur and colleague of the late Jimmy Savile.]] This is clearly just one of those funny coincidences.

=="Promoting positivity on evthreads"==
{{Main|Vordrak/What_People_Have_To_Say#From_DeMarzi}}
[[File:EvThreads2.gif|thumb|EvThreads, gone thanks to Vordrak.]]
[[File:VordrakEvanescenceFanShop.png|thumb|280px|A Photoshop artist's impression of Vordrak.]]


[https://web.archive.org/web/20101230093229/http://evthreads.com/showthread.php?t=17940 Vordrak was an avid Evanescence dork and fanboy (despite his age)]:

<blockquote style="color:#617a1c;">Hi guys,

I know many of us think about this but we have never made a thread explicitly for it so ... this is the thread where we plan to make Amy happy.

The goal here is to make Amy feel loved and supported. We each have our own ways of doing this. Some people make videos. My friends and I have organised a campaign team. Others bake cupcakes.

The point of this is for us all to get together and be positive.

My contribution -

(1) This year I will be trying to make Amy Hartzler happy by - 
(i) Organising promotion of the new album ... 
(ii) ... and the muppets CD. 
(iii) Attending some concerts if she has any. 
(iv) Sending her fun silly stuff. 
(v) Promoting positivity on evthreads.

My question to everyone else is ... how will * you * be supporting Amy?

(Just to be clear, my buddies and I have other threads going for the band in general and for specific other members. For example, we made a thread about 'The Snobs' regarding Tim's old band. We have lots of nice things planned for the other band members. We have plenty of love to go around. But this thread is about Amy.)

Here is Danny's thread for the whole band 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20101230093229/http://www.evthreads.com/showthread.php?t=16322 http://www.evthreads.com/showthread.php?t=16322]

Here is 'The Snobs' thread for Tim. 
[https://web.archive.org/web/20101230093229/http://www.evthreads.com/showthread.php?t=17623 http://www.evthreads.com/showthread.php?t=17623]

- Vordrak</blockquote>

Vordrak joined Evthreads in February 2009. [http://www.evboard.com/1263396-post85.html He become a moderator], but was shocked to learn to he couldn't transform Evthreads into a Puritanical utopia. The site's management [http://www.forbes.com/sites/wenjiazhao/2012/07/25/anonymous-targets-singer-and-record-company-in-operation-pedochat/ didn't allow him to] take action against self-professed pot smokers or people who published [[Wikichan|4chan-esque tales]] ("paedophile material including a story about sexual offences against a physically disabled male minor") and [[lolicons]] ("cartoons with pre-teens in lawful poses but with sexualised captions"). As a true Puritan witchfinder, Vordrak wanted to report these Internet shenanigans to UK authorities, but Amy Lee and her lawyers didn't think that it was such a big deal, believing that deleting the material and moving on was good enough. [http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201213/cmhansrd/cm120717/petntext/120717p0001.htm Vordrak also seems to take a claim of suicide seriously], when [http://www.evboard.com/1263396-post85.html anyone with a brain knew the claim of suicide was a fake].

In short, for Vordrak, [[the Internet is serious business]]. In 2012, Vordrak used his connections to political leaders to create [http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201213/cmhansrd/cm120717/petntext/120717p0001.htm a petition] and then {{archive|dKGRR|used Anonymous as his personal army}} ([https://web.archive.org/web/20140326134114/http://anonnews.org/press/item/1682/comments/]). This resulted in [http://www.evboard.com/evthreads-closed-41320.html the closure of Evthreads].

[[File:VordrakRipEvThreads.png|border|center]]

==Matthew Hopkins==
[[File:BannerTextv2MatthewHopkins.png|thumb|How Vordrak imagines himself.]]
[[File:BetweenFaithAndFear.jpg|thumb|Source of how Vordrak imagines himself.]]

[http://whois.domaintools.com/thewitchfindergeneral.com In February 2013], Vordrak registered the "thewitchfindergeneral.com" domain and started his blog. Despite [http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/tory_new_boy_apologises_for_lib_dem_baby_rapist_comparison_1_18565 his 2009 apology], by October 2013, [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=247 Vordrak was once again trying to link the Left to pedophilia and compared the Left to the Islamic Republic of Iran]:

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">The world’s children will never be safe from the clutches of the organised left while they exist. The only difference in Iran is that at least the Iranians expect the men to marry the girls first.</blockquote>

In November 2014, [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=723 Vordrak accused the Left of racism and used Twitter messages as "evidence"]. Then in January 2015, [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=826 Vordrak whined about the Holly Fisher meme and compared liberals to children over a Twitter post]. Again, as in the Evthreads drama, Vordrak takes things said on the Internet far too serious.

==GamerGate==
2015 has been a very productive year for Vordrak's blog with double the amount of published entries than the previous year. Vordrak joined the [[GamerGate]] bandwagon and made war on James Billingham's Block Bot. In April 2015, a former Block Bot developer AuntySarah accused Vordrak of harassment, but Vordrak and his knowledge of law [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1430 allowed him to handle the claims easily].

[http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1349 Vordrak also tried to build a case against Block Bot] but [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1512 discontinued it in May]. Vordrak also [http://thisisvideogames.com/gamergatewiki/index.php?title=Projects:Operation_Untechnica started "Operation Untechnica"], but had difficulties running it: {{archive|zsIFT|some anons had other ideas}}, {{archive|MhnSz|defacement of the Operation page was plentiful}}, and {{archive|vME70|the legitimacy of the entire project was questioned}}. Eventually, {{archive|HyFjZ|Vordrak had to shut the project down}}.

==Wikipedia and Wikipediocracy==
[[File:JohnDeanSamSmithGrantShapps.jpg|thumb|Vordrak flanked by John Dean (left) and Grant Shapps (right).]]
[[File:Ceilingcat.jpg|thumb|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150717003733/http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1882 Vordrak doesn't know] about [[Ceiling Cat]]. Take every chance you have to remind him who CC is.]]
:''See also [[Richard Symonds]]''
[[wikipedia:Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Sockpuppet_investigation_block/Proposed_decision#Timeline_of_events|In March 2014]], [[Chase me ladies, I'm the Cavalry]] began a year-long mission to try to connect [[wikipedia:User:Contribsx|Contribsx]] to Grant Shapps. A year later, the Cavalry performed an extensive series of CheckUser actions against Contribsx and blocked Contribsx as Shapps' [[sockpuppet]], all the while in contact with a reporter for ''[[The Guardian]]''. Cavalry blocked Contribsx as Shapps' sockpuppet, and [http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/apr/21/grant-shapps-accused-of-editing-wikipedia-pages-of-tory-rivals ''The Guardian'' publicized the accusations], but not in that order (oops).

ArbCom performed [[wikipedia:Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Sockpuppet_investigation_block/Proposed_decision|an investigation into the Cavalry's account of the story]], and this drew Vordrak into Wikipedia. Vordrak's first task: [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia_talk:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Sockpuppet_investigation_block/Proposed_decision&diff=665898759 suggest a Puritanical approach to which usernames are acceptable]. Eventually, ArbCom [[wikipedia:Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Sockpuppet_investigation_block/Proposed_decision#Contribsx_account_operator|absolved Contributsx]] and [[wikipedia:Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Sockpuppet_investigation_block/Proposed_decision#Proposed_remedies|punished the Cavalry]] for [[wikipedia:Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Sockpuppet_investigation_block/Proposed_decision#Chase_me_ladies.2C_I.27m_the_Cavalry:_Statements_about_the_operator_of_the_Contribsx_account|his transgressions]].

In July 2015, Wikipedia critic forum Wikipediocracy {{archive|wM4C2|published a blog entry on Vordrak}}, and [https://web.archive.org/web/20150717003733/http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1882 Vordrak retaliated by publishing a blog entry on thekohser]. Vordrak was apparently under the impression that thekohser was a serious journalist and that examiner.com was a serious online newspaper when neither are. Puritan Vordrak also displayed his lack of appreciation for the lulz and his lack of knowledge about [[Ceiling Cat]]:

<blockquote>One of Mr Kohs’ admitted accounts is called, “Feline Who Watches You Masturbate From Above”. The strange, sexualised account name is indicative of his indecorous social conduct</blockquote>

Vordrak and Wikipediocracy later took their blog entries on each other down. [http://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/3dk4ki/people_oc_dishonest_gamergate_opponent_journalist/ Vordrak claimed that this was due to a "reciprocal end to hostilities"], but it only shows that Vordrak believes in ''[[wiktionary:quid pro quo|quid pro quo]]'' and is corruptible: he'll censor his own blog in exchange for favors.

==Ban from Wikipedia==
Vordrak, still high off of his victory against Wikipediocracy, decided to take his arch-nemesis Mark Bernstein to [[ArbCom]], but he overplayed his hand. Despite [http://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/3dqupr/dramapaedia_vordrak_has_just_submitted_an_arbcom/ his buddy AmethyGloriCorn advertising the case on Reddit], [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case&oldid=672034757#MarkBernstein Vordrak's cause received virtually no support at Wikipedia]. Seeing that his case was sinking fast, Vordrak began making veiled threats:

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">ORLY? Well, alright then ...
<cite>—[https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case&diff=672017860 Vordrak getting serious]</cite></blockquote>

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">I have archived Gamaliel's comments about his proposed reasons for blocking me {{archive|UkEJg|here}}. I am not entirely sure he has thought it through but invite him to reconsider. I am not entirely sure he has thought it through but invite him to reconsider.
<cite>—[https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case&diff=672017860 Vordrak implying consequences (blog entry about those comments)]</cite></blockquote>

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">Under the latter circumstances [me as an outsider] I am free to say what I like and to reveal the real world names of people I would not otherwise have named.
<cite>—[https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia%3AArbitration%2FRequests%2FCase&diff=672018708&oldid=672018451 Vordrak implying that it would be unwise to cast him out]</cite></blockquote>

In response to these messages, [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&type=block&page=User%3AVordrak Floquenbeam banned Vordrak]:

<blockquote>17:36, 18 July 2015 [[wikipedia:User:Floquenbeam|Floquenbeam]] ([[wikipedia:User talk:Floquenbeam|talk]] | [[wikipedia:Special:Contributions/Floquenbeam|contribs]]) blocked [[wikipedia:User:Vordrak|Vordrak]] ([[wikipedia:User talk:Vordrak|talk]] | [[wikipedia:Special:Contributions/Vordrak|contribs]]) with an expiry time of indefinite (account creation blocked, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (veiled (very thinly) threats to out others https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case&oldid=672018719#Statement_by_Vordrak)</blockquote>

As being banned for intimidation doesn't make for a good martyr story, [https://web.archive.org/web/20150718221130/http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1962 Vordrak spun the story by claiming that he was banned by the reasons suggested by Gamaliel]. Being banned for threats of "negative media scrutiny" and for suggesting a fun, little "satirical animated GIF" contest sounds a long better to Gamergate drones than "veiled (very thinly) threats to out others". Floquenbeam and his stated reasons for the ban aren't even mentioned in Vordrak's blog entry.

[https://web.archive.org/web/20150718221130/http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1962 The original version of Vordrak's blog entry] concluded with the following:

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">I am now free to name Wikipedia editors where there is public interest and / or to take legal action if I wish.

Starting by naming Gamaliel. Watch this space.
<cite>—[https://web.archive.org/web/20150718221130/http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1962 Vordrak telling Wikipedia, "I told it would be unwise to cast me out. Waahhh."]</cite></blockquote>

Sorry, Vordrak, but [[Bureaucratic_Fuck#Gamaliel|ED has been there]] and [[:File:Gamaliel.jpg|done that already]].

At the time, [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1974 Vordrak decided not to publish Gamaliel's dox] and replaced the "Starting by naming…" line with [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=1962 a claim] that Floquenbeam and the other Wikipedia sysops follow Gamaliel's every word, worship his every step, and savor his every breath.

Vordrak's old friend Robert "Gamaliel" Fernandez had been elected to Wikipedia's Arbitration Committee during the 2015 elections. In April 2016, Gamaliel was the subject of [[wikipedia:Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Gamaliel_and_others|an arbitration case]] for violating many Wikipedia rules and policies over a lame April Fool 'prank.' This was an opportunity for revenge which Vordrak would not let slide. After Gamaliel got himself in hot water on Wikipedia, Vordrak decided to {{archive|40rZk#selection-1139.0-1159.336|write to Gamaliel's employer at Saint Leo University}} in an attempt to have Gamaliel fired for {{archive|40rZk#selection-775.0-779.121|not blocking an alleged pedophile}} who Vordrak had blogged about.

Gamaliel was so butthurt over Vordrak's email to Saint Leo University that he claimed to be [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Gamaliel&oldid=744862453#Announcement_regarding_Gamaliel "unable to edit"] on Wikipedia and eventually resigned his position on the Arbitration Committee and claimed to have retired from the English Wikipedia. Vordrak even scored some collateral damage against his other nemesis, Mark Bernstein, who was enraged after he was {{archive|aWPlO#selection-131.0-131.19|confided in by Gamaliel}} and told what Vordrak had done. Mark was [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log/block&page=User%3AMarkBernstein blocked repeatedly] for violating his GamerGate topic ban while [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia_talk:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Gamaliel_and_others/Proposed_decision&diff=prev&oldid=721547149 screaming about Vordrak's "blackmail" and "extortion"] of Gamaliel. Mark has been crying about Vordrak's ''blackmail'' ever since {{archive|reul5|and even Gamaliel is tired of hearing about it}}.

In June 2016, Vordrak {{archive|40rZk#selection-971.0-970.1|attempted to have his Wikipedia ban appealed}}. When Floquenbeam found out he immediately took actions to escalate Vordrak's block so that he can only be unblocked by will of ArbCom. Vordrak did appeal to ArbCom itself, and was frustrated when they {{archive|40rZk#selection-1025.0-1025.233|chose to ignore his appeal}}.

On July 20th, 2016, Vordrak was {{archive|FFxNs|permanently banned}} from the Wikipedia-oriented WikiInAction subreddit and [[wikipedia:gibbeting|gibbeted]] in a stickied thread alongside Gamaliel and one of Gamaliel's Wikipedo buddies, Ed "The_ed17" Erhart. Vordrak was banned for his attempt to have Gamaliel fired from Saint Leo University. Earlier in July, Gamaliel and his friends {{archive|Vgfyw|tried to have a journalist named David Auerbach fired}} for tweeting about the ''Gamaliel and others'' arbitration case, resulting in the two of them plus Vordrak being banned from the subreddit for being such spergs about Wikipedia.

==TheGGGreatWork==
In June 2015, Vordrak and AmethyGloriCorn [http://www.reddit.com/r/TheGGGreatWork/comments/3a7ybu/introduction_to_the_great_work/ created a subreddit called TheGGGreatWork] in order to encourage and coordinate the countering of alleged <abbr title="Social Justice Warrior">SJW</abbr> infiltration within Wikipedia. They encouraged users to be patient and build "Wikipedia Capital" by giving each other [[Barnstar]]s and engaging in [[Recent changes patrol|RecentChanges and anti-vandalism paroling]].

In July, after Vordrak's ban from Wikipedia, Vordrak's partner in crime AmethyGloriCorn [http://www.reddit.com/r/TheGGGreatWork/comments/3exn2c/introduction_to_the_great_work_revised/ announced a new approach to influencing Wikipedia]:

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">The only way to achieve justice on Wikipedia is to achieve power on Wikipedia and that means we need our members to achieve administratorship. On Wikipedia that is relatively easy as there is an elected system called [[wikipedia:Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship|RFA]]. We therefore advise editors to build up edits in non-contentious areas and complete RFA before going anywhere near GamerGate or related topics. Edit articles about water gardens. Sprockets. Anything but GG. Water gardens are cool.</blockquote>

In other words, AmethyGloriCorn is asking for willing Manchurian Candidates to infiltrate Wikipedia, hide their true agenda, and then when the time is right, dupe naive voters who aren't aware of their hidden motives into voting for them.

When [http://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/3exr2i/dramapedia_goals_the_great_work_has_a_change_of/ AmethyGloriCorn shared his or her plan on KotakuInAction], Vordrak not only expressed his support [http://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/3exr2i/dramapedia_goals_the_great_work_has_a_change_of/ctjfovr but "better yet", also suggested obtaining sysops bits in order to "arbitrarily block" their opponents]:

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">[O]n Wikipedia administrators are elected. Anyone can be put forward at any time for what is called RFA (requests for adminship). The 'community' votes. In reality about 100 people participate in most RFAs. If someone gets 80% + votes then bam! They are an admin.

KiA has nearly 48,000 members. You do the math. Instead of whining at administrators to deal with Bernstein, AmethyGloriCorn is proposing KiA members become administrators and deal with him and the article themselves.

Better yet, normally administrators cannot just arbitrarily block people but thanks to ArbCom imposed GamerGate discretionary sanctions they are allowed to [arbitrarily block people] in relation to GamerGate controversies. :) Furthermore there are already many calls for most of the anti-GG people.

One admin willing to shoulder some flack could block the entire aGG slate. And we do not anticipate there being just. one. admin.</blockquote>

In other words, Vordrak is asking for patient assassins to infiltrate Wikipedia, become sysops, and then stab unsuspecting ideological opponents in the back.

==Adam Roberts==
In late July 2015, [https://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/3flkxz/goal_guardian_runs_article_by_adam_roberts/ Vordrak attempted to pick a fight with] author [[wikipedia:Adam Roberts|Adam Roberts]], going as far as {{archive|VliMX|butt into a conservation between Adam Roberts and Natascha de Waal}} while promising to publish an exposé so shocking that it would prevent Adam Roberts from giving public speeches ever again. Yet nothing has come of this. [[pussy|Vordrak has yet to publish any blog entries about Adam Roberts]].

[[File:VordrakVsAdamRoberts.png|border|center]]

==Github==
After making such bold talk about exposing Adam Roberts on his blog yet not actually doing it, Vordrak shifted gears again and found a target that would dominate Vordrak's attention for the next couple of weeks: Github and [http://todogroup.org/opencodeofconduct/ Todogroup's draft "Open Code of Conduct"]. Todogroup's "Open Code of Conduct" contains the following [[SJW]] self-righteous lunacy:

<blockquote style="font-style:italic;">Our open source community prioritizes marginalized people’s safety over privileged people’s comfort. We will not act on complaints regarding:

*‘Reverse’ -isms, including ‘reverse racism,’ ‘reverse sexism,’ and ‘cisphobia’
</blockquote>

The draft code divides communities to a first class ("marginalized people") to be prioritized and a second class ("privileged people") to be, well, ''marginalized''.

[https://github.com/todogroup/opencodeofconduct/commit/02f7253ef0b84e8a97bf6b5062c3dade252c3af0 The Code began sanely enough], but on June 22, 2015, [https://github.com/todogroup/opencodeofconduct/pull/8 "ammeeep" appeared] and [https://github.com/todogroup/opencodeofconduct/commit/45aa6da5e2b5fcb6e1185ca05b1f75e141591558 sought to incorporate, word-for-word], the [http://geekfeminism.org/about/code-of-conduct/ Geek Feminism Code of Conduct's "Definitions" section], including the aforementioned controversial text, into the Open Code of Conduct. Fortunately, [https://github.com/todogroup/opencodeofconduct/pull/8#issuecomment-117367373 "caniszczyk" merged only a modest amount of ammeep's contributions into the master branch].

On July July 20, [https://github.com/todogroup/opencodeofconduct/pull/17 ammeep made a second attempt] to [https://github.com/todogroup/opencodeofconduct/commit/b00eff579ded8c76cee0d2cb6b5beed6e84258fb incorporate Geek Feminism Code of Conduct's "Definitions" section], and on the 29th, [https://github.com/todogroup/opencodeofconduct/commit/10e57b28978a2bd1d63e8fc0f2b4c437f3619f69 "Bkeepers" conceded to ammeep's demands].

Several days later, Vordrak picked up on this and send a draft copy of his exposé to Github for review. Github objected, [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=2055 claiming copyright violations and "actionable, factual misrepresentations"]. Such vague legal threats from a popular website and business would unnerve most, but as a law student, Vordrak knew that Github was [[E-lawyer|full of shit]] and proudly leveraged this fact. [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=2035 Vordrak published a blog entry] filled with exclamations marks and bold, green text and bragged about how dumb Github staffers are for licensing their photos under [[Creative Commons]] open source licenses, and when Vordrak finally [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=2030 published his blog entry about the Open Code of Conduct], he devoted a few of its paragraphs to speaking about how inept Github's lawyers are and they forfeited the ability to gain money from suing Vordrak when they decided to not take Vordrak seriously and to not reply back.

Now, onto [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=2030 that blog entry], which {{archive|PUmdG|Vordrak advertised on Twitter as "[Does Github believe that it's] Ok to Harass White Women?"}} Sensationalism sells, and Vordrak knows it. Although "reverse racism / sexism / whatnot" usually takes the form of affirmative action critique (i.e. [https://twitter.com/_peppercats/status/628409014993481730 "X got the job instead of me because of his race / sex"]), Vordrak marketed "reverse racism" as "[permissible] to harass white women".

On August 10th, [https://twitter.com/martin308/status/630895334294601728 ammeep's fiancé "martin308" challenged Vordrak via Twitter], claiming that Vordrak had his name wrong. {{archive|1biNs|Vordrak revised his article}} but {{archive|CADoN|warned martin308 not to mess with him}}.

== Beef with [[Kiwi Farms]] ==
Vordrak's relationship with Kiwi Farms was initially amiable. Vordrak contacted Dynastia after watching Dynastia mock [[RationalWiki]]. An interesting exchange occurred during the conversation:

<blockquote><cite style="font-style:normal; font-weight:bold;">Dynastia:</cite> Yeah, we think you're a loon and I'm surprised you don't have a thread already.''

Merry Christmas.

<cite style="font-style:normal; font-weight:bold;">Vordrak:</cite> I expect criticism to some extent. Comes with the territory of being a right wing politician and blogger.

<cite>—Dynastia and Vordrak, [[:File:VordrakDynastiaReddit01.png|December 2015]]</cite></blockquote>

Vodrak later showed Dynastia his anti-Block Bot activities.

<center>
<gallery caption="Reddit conservations between Vordrak and Dynastia">
File:VordrakDynastiaReddit01.png|Vordrak and Dynastia in more amiable times ([https://kiwifarms.net/threads/rationalwiki.14720/page-39#post-1181396 December 2015])
File:VordrakDynastiaReddit02.png|Vordrak and Dynastia in more amiable times (January 2016?)
</gallery>
</center>

In January 2016, a Kiwi Farms thread was created on Vordrak, and Vordrak became hostile to Kiwi Farms.

[[Image:Samuel_Collingwood_Smith_search_results.png|thumb|right|x250px|Search results for Samuel Collingwood Smith's name on three different search engines which all carefully omit Lolcow Wiki results.]]
Starting on April 16th, 2016 Vordrak began writing daily articles on [[Null]] and the Kiwi Farms. The first article cites the Encyclopedia Dramatica pages as [[fact|irrefutable evidence]] that the site admin rapes and murders children {{archive|tj4ZY|and animals}} on a daily basis and uses the Kiwi Farms to do so. His interest was turned to the Kiwi Farms because of a [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/vordrak-samuel-collingwood-smith-sam-smith-benvolastar-matthew-hopkins.16771/ thread on him], but did not start writing hit pieces until the site started running a [[GamerGate]] [https://kiwifarms.net/forums/official-gamergate-hq.68/ parody forum] that hurt GG's stellar public image and caused [[Shit nobody cares about|KotakuInAction]] to shit their pants. Not wanting GamerGate to pick up the reputation of being about harassment, Vordrak began harassing everyone Null's {{archive|gvpNi#selection-249.0-252.0|family}} {{archive|QR5nW#selection-319.0-322.0|and everyone he had ever met}} and promised to do so {{archive|hx4NZ#selection-351.0-354.0|as long as the Kiwi Farms stayed up}}. Thanks to his efforts, GamerGate's reputation was saved and now there are #EthicsInVideoGameJournalism.

Some retard on [[Shit|Kiwi Farms's wiki]] also 'wrote' [https://lolcow.wiki/wiki/Samuel_Collingwood_Smith an article] on Samuel's adventures, but for [[Jews|some reason]] no search engine will deliver it as a result. They will show Kiwi Farms pages and other Lolcow Wiki articles that are direct copies of the same page, but not the actual article. [[Butthurt|Surely this is a coincidence and not the result of Vordrak chimping out and crying to Jewgle about google bombing]]. Considering he does it to other people he's never met and {{archive|F8KcE|brags about it}}, that would make him a hypocrite, [[Fact|which is impossible as we know Samuel Collingwood Smith is a righteous moral authority and unbiased judicator.]]

Vordrak's jihad against the Kiwi Farms has {{archive|lZ0DV|continued over the months}} including collaborations with [[Sarah_Butts/Nyberg_Internet_Defense_Force#Margaret_Pless|Margaret Pless]] and [[Peter Coffin]], which is particularly hilarious as both of those assclowns have attempted to defend pedophile [[Sarah Butts]] and should be on Vordrak's shitlist. Vordrak also {{archive|lZ0DV#selection-277.36-277.427|planned to contact}} US politicians and the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Internal Affairs because he believes a "senior member of Kiwi Farms" is an FBI informant and that FBI agents are forwarding Vordrak's emails to the Farms.

==KiwiFarmsWiki.com==
[[File:Samuel_Collingwood_Smith_grimaces_forlornly_at_his_long-distance_lover_Joshua_Conner_Moon.jpg|thumb|Fan art of Vordrak obsessing over Null.]]
[[File:VordrakLikeicareOliverSmith.png|thumb|Vordrak depends on people such as [[Oliver Smith]] for "information".]]
[[File:ChrisChanVordrak.png|thumb|upright|Vordrak enables [[Chris-chan]]'s sense of entitlement (to free money).]]
[[File:VordrakLegionOfDoomUnrealisticExpectionations.jpg|thumb|upright|Kiwi Farms' thoughts on Vordrak's attempts to recruit [[Ryulong]], [[Tommy Tooter]], Luke McKee and others to his cause.]]
[[File:GrantShappsKarenBradleyKiwiFarms.png|thumb|upright|Your taxes pay the government to go after Internet trolls instead of Islamic terrorist.]]

Vordrak spend May Day 2015 starting a project to expose that menace to working peoples everywhere: the trolls and drama-loving hecklers at KiwiFarms. [http://whois.domaintools.com/kiwifarmswiki.com Vordrak purchased the "kiwifarmswiki.com" domain] and set up a MediaWiki installation on the next day. [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=3531 Vordrak unveiled the wiki on May 8th, along with "an authoritative new website for Joshua Conner Moon (http://www.joshuaconnermoon.com)"]. Vordrak didn't have the guts to register [[GlennBeckRapedAndMurderedAYoungGirlIn1990.com|JoshuaConnerMoonRapedAndMurderedAYoungGirlIn1990.com]], so he ended up sounding like a attention-seeking jerk instead of a troll (middle road is no place to go).

Once the Kiwi Farms users learned about the wiki, they began to vandalize and deface it, causing Vordrak to kill the baby wiki in its crib and [http://www.kiwifarmswiki.com/index.php?title=Main_Page&diff=1 start over from scratch]; this time as [http://www.kiwifarmswiki.com/index.php?title=Main_Page&diff=6 an invite-only wiki].

<center>
<gallery caption="Snapshots of a failed wiki">
File:KiwiFarmsWikiEarlyHistory.png|Initial founding.
File:KiwiFarmsWikiVandalism.png|Vandalism.
File:KiwiFarmsWikiConnorBible.png|A very nice submission to the wiki.
</gallery>
</center>

[https://twitter.com/BenvolaStar/status/731618366885101571 One of the first person that Vordrak invited to his wiki] was [[Ryulong]]. What followed was [http://www.kiwifarmswiki.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Ryulong a bizarre situation] where someone other than Ryulong was operating the KiwiFarmsWiki.com's "Ryulong" account. Ryulong blamed Vordrak, as no else would have the password for the account (assuming that neither of their Email accounts had been compromised), and Vordrak asserted that Ryulong must've been the operator the whole time. Vordrak shut down the debate by [http://www.kiwifarmswiki.com/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&type=block&page=User%3ARyulong blocking Ryulong].

Vordrak also attempted to recruit [[Tommy Tooter]] to his cause, something he revealed during a Kiwi Farms attempt to gain Vordrak's confidence:

<center>
<gallery>
File:VodrakKiwiFarmsConfidenceTrick01.png|Vordrak reveals that he attempted to contact [[Tommy Tooter]] on "the other night"
File:VodrakKiwiFarmsConfidenceTrick02.png|NotTommyTooter gives Vordrak a send-off.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Vordrak/Emails#Vordrak_attempts_to_recruit_Luke_McKee|Vordrak also invited Luke McKee to his wiki]], and [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/luke-ledgerd-mckee-hojuruku-vgb-opsec.18836/page-61#post-1480745 McKee shared the Email on Kiwi Farms].

The wiki is currently home to [http://www.kiwifarmswiki.com/index.php?title=Special:ListUsers five account], two of which ("GlobalAdministrator" and "Oracle") undeniably belong to Vordrak, while another ("Ryulong") is indefinitely blocked. The two remaining accounts ("Boater" and "Kurgock") became inactive after apparently [http://www.kiwifarmswiki.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Oracle becoming fed up with Vordrak not uploading images of Null's mom].

So far, [http://www.kiwifarmswiki.com/index.php?title=Special:AllPages the wiki only hosts three articles]: an article on Null, an article on Null's mom, and a vanity page on Vordrak. As one would expect of any invite-only wiki with an extremely narrow focus, this wiki pretty much died after a few weeks.

With KiwiFarmsWiki.com dead in the water, Vordrak turned to the only friend he has left: Grant Shapps. Vordrak won over Shapps to his cause, and Shapps, in turn, contacted MP Karen Bradley. This likely won't go anywhere. British MP's have attempted to take down websites such as Kiwi Farms before. [http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/northwest/9307857.Vile_website_mocks_murder_of_Sophie_Lancaster/ Tory MP Jake Berry tried to take ED down in 2011], yet ED is its article on [[Sophie Lancaster]] are still standing. Whether Vordrak asked Shapps to contribute [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2200536/Top-Tory-airbrushed-Wikipedia-page-new-chairman-deleted-political-gaffes-altered-exam-details.html his wiki skills and experience] to KiwiFarmsWiki.com is unknown.

==Vordrak sues Encyclopedia Dramatica for 10,000 pounds==

{{Quote|LOL Don't care faggot, go for it|likeicare's official response.}}
{{quote|Fuck off LOL|ED's official response.}}

[[File:VordrakFreeCandyVan.jpg|thumb|Fan art referencing the incident where Kiwi Farms and ED accused Vordrak of paedophilia in jest and for satire.]]

On May 10, 2016, Vordrak published [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=3531 a blog entry about Kiwi Farms member "Dynastia"], a massive sperglord who has been e-stalking him for ages. In the third paragraph of that blog entry, Vordrak goes off on a tangent about how Encyclopedia Dramatica is such a reliable and invaluable resource in his "investigations", despite ED's reputation and its inclination towards lulz rather than facts.

Later that day, 'someone' (Dynastia) registered an Encyclopedia Dramatica account under the handle "KiwiDynastia" (Dynastia contends that it isn't him but it is).

In any case, supposedly 'not the real' Dynastia decided to give Vodrak a taste of his own medicine of being called a pedophile based on the filmiest of evidence. Despite his hilarious incompetence Dynastia submitted "satirical", "fictional" claims about Vordrak engaging in paedophilia, along with a fake chat log (a clear reference to Vordrak's use of a chat log to claim that Null was a paedophile) in a pathetic personal attack. Soon after, long-time ED user Likeicare joined in and had to hand-hold Dynastia and outright do his work for him to keep the lulz going because his tard rage didn't translate into a readable article.

When Vodrak caught wind of this he joined our wiki and forum and [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=User_talk:Likeicare&diff=897529 demanded that the content submitted by Dynastia and Likeicare be taken down]. Although the entire community just laughed and ignored him for kicks, we eventually did remove the fake claims because we're in the business of helping rumours spread, not making them up ourselves. Instead, everyone switched to trolling Dynastia as he flipped his shit at our refusal to be his personal army in his war for his downie-faced damsel in distress, Null.

However, by this point (after [[:File:VordrakDynastiaTracyPembertonEmail02.png|the police have already told him to fuck off]]), [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=User_talk:Vordrak&diff=897575 Vordrak had by now resorted to threatening legal action] and, on the 16th, Vordrak carried out his impotent legal threats. In July Vordrak finally [http://archive.is/FZ9MJ had his hearing], to which none of the accused bothered to show up, and [http://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/QB/2016/1775.html obtained] a court order and restraining order in his favor against an unknown internet person, stipulating that "Dynastia" must pay him the equivalent of his mother's weight - 10,000 british pounds.

In desperation, [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=3870 Vordrak is now offering half of his court winnings as "bounty"] to anyone who supplies him with Dynastia's dox, and Dynastia is himself desperately making 25 posts a day claiming that the 'KiwiDynastia' account is not him. Likeicare noticing this, decided to call out Dynastia on his lies and was [[butthurt|immediately banned from the thread]]

{{cg|Vordrak sues Encyclopedia Dramatica for 10,000 pounds|cg1|center|
<gallery perrow="5">
File:N1DraftVordrak.png|Draft claim (May 13, 2016)
File:VordrakLikeicareEmail01.png|Vordrak to Likeicare (May 16, 2016)
File:VordrakLikeicareEmail02.png|Likeicare to Vordrak (May 16, 2016)
File:VordrakLikeicareEmail03.png|"That is terrorism!", Vordrak to Likicare (May 16, 2016)
File:VordrakLikeicareEmail04.png|lol, Likeicare to Vordrak (May 16, 2016)
</gallery>
|
<gallery perrow="5">
File:VordrakDynastiaTwitter.png|Dynastia to Vordrak (May 16, 2016)
File:VordrakLikeicareZaigerEmails.png|ED concedes <tt>:<</tt> (May 16, 2016)
File:VordrakNullEmail01.png|Vordrak apologizes to Null, while Null apologizes to the poor cops who have better things to do. (May 16, 2016)
File:VordrakNullLikeicareEmails01.png|[[Honey badger|Honey badger don't care]], Likeicare to Vordrak (May 16, 2016)
File:VordrakLikeicareEmail05.png|[[Narc]]? Likeicare to Vordrak (May 16, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail01.png|"I'll get my court-ordered dox, you'll see," Vordrak to Dynastia (May 16, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail02.png|Dynastia to Vordrak (May 17, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail03.png|Dynastia to Vordrak (May 17, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail04.png|"I don't live in my mom's basement, and Parliment loves me!" Vordrak to Dynastia (May 17, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail05.png|Dynastia to Vordrak (May 17, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail06.png|Dynastia to Vordrak (May 17, 2016)
File:VordrakLikeicareContactEdEmail01.png|Vordrak, Likeicare, and Contact (May 18, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail07.png|"Can you please-y please confirm your dox for me?" Vordrak to Dynastia (May 18, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail08.png|Dynastia to Vordrak (May 21, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaTracyPembertonEmail01.png|Crowning Moment of Awesome, Part 1 (May 21, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaTracyPembertonEmail02.png|Crowning Moment of Awesome, Part 2 (May 21, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail09.png|Update from Vordrak (June 23, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail10.png|Vordrak stays his claim against Likeicare and ED (June 23, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail11.png|Vordrak obtains a restraining order against NotDynastia and offers £5,000 for Dynastia dox (July 13, 2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail12.png|Vordrak will twist anything into a [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=3902 a blog entry] (July 17,2016)
File:VordrakDynastiaEmail13.png|An glimpse into what Vordrak will be doing for the next six years (July 17,2016)
</gallery>}}

==Rebranding==
On May 22, 2016, [http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=3715 Vordrak announced that he was rebranding himself and his blog]. He would now be posting as "Samuel Collingwood Smith" (guess having that middle name be public doesn't [http://rationalwiki.org/w/index.php?title=Talk%3ATimeline_of_Gamergate&diff=1587025&oldid=1586956 bother him] anymore) and that he would be writing "fewer hitpieces" (his words, meaning that he's acknowledging that he's a hit-piece writer, lol). The change apparently came about after his reputations among the KotakuInAction crowd dropped due to his obsession with Kiwi Farms.

==Banned from Reddit==
On October 18th, 2016, Vordrak made a post to the KotakuInAction subreddit in which he {{archive|CkyOM#selection-1930.0-1967.12|expressed interest}} in a story about a woman who had mocked a disabled man on an airplane and implied he would be writing a hit-piece on her. Despite his first comment being ignored and downvoted, Vordrak {{archive|wnjOY|made another reply}} in the thread and said he was going through with his hit-piece and that he had already contacted the woman's modeling agent.

{{quote|1=Hey there (and tagging <nowiki>/u/mk101</nowiki>). I have just prepared an article about the woman concerned. As she appears to be a professional model I have sent it to her agent for comment. The article will appear on MHN in due course.|2={{archive|wnjOY|Vordrak thinks KIA will shower him with adulation}}}}

{{quote|1=Please let me express my shock that you contacted someone's employer. No bad tactics.
|2={{archive|wnjOY#selection-403.0-413.10|ShadistsReddit knows how Vordrak operates}}}}

The KotakuInAction mods gave Vordrak a final warning and said he was one fuck up away from being permabanned from their subreddit.

{{quote|1=Between this and your followup comment, you've stepped way out of line here. Consider this your final warning - Rule 1 and Rule 5. Pointing and laughing is one thing, writing up an article about a nobody and then contacting their employer because they said something stupid is something entirely different.|2={{archive|CkyOM#selection-2035.0-2045.10|HandofBane has had enough of Vordrak}}}}

On October 20th, 2016, {{archive|kXHgO|Vordrak published his hit-piece}} on the woman.

Sometime between October 18th and October 20th, 2016, Vordrak was finally {{archive|bpIOq|site banned from reddit itself.}} So far, his small army of dormant sockpuppets have not been banned. Feel free to report them to the reddit administration should he start using them again!

==Video==

<center><youtube>Mo0NqOpS34E</youtube></center>

==Fun facts==
*Vordrak operated two [[wikipedia:We Are the Fallen|We Are the Fallen]] fan-sites: {{archive|zT2Kq|WeAreTheFallenCampaignTeam.com}} and {{archive|bjnlL|WeAreTheFallenBoard.com}}.
*[http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/?p=222 Vordrak is massive Nyancat enthusiast], despite being 34 at the time.
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Vordrak Vordrak is An Ann Coulter fan].

==Fanart gallery==
<center>
<gallery perrow="5">
File:Charcoal_Vordrak.png|Vordrak as drawn in charcoal.
File:MatthewHopkinsNewsBannerTruth.jpg|How Vordrak's webpage banner would look if it were honest.
File:VordrakLolcowNewsBanner.png|Banner for [https://lolcow.news/2016/07/15/samuel-collingwood-smith-is-a-pedophile-and-child-rapist/ a Lolcow News article] calling Vordrak a "terrorist" due to his bullying and intimidation tactics.
File:Bettercallsamsmith.png|Criminal lawyer or "Criminal" lawyer?
File:Exploitable Pedo Claim Form.png|An exploitable version of Vordrak's original claim form that he spammed on a [[User talk:Jimmywales|few]] [[User talk:Bender|admins']] [[User talk:HAL|talk]] [[User talk:Likeicare|pages]]. Now you can make your own claim!
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Oliver Smith]]
*[[Daniel Brandt]]
*[[Jonathan Bishop]]
*[[Autistic Legion of Doom]]

*[[Vordrak/WhatPeopleHaveToSay|What people have to say about Vordrak]]
*[[Vordrak/Emails|Emails from Vordrak]]

==External links==
*[http://matthewhopkinsnews.com/ Matthew Hopkins – The Witchfinder General]
*[https://lolcow.wiki/wiki/Samuel_Collingwood_Smith Lolcow Wiki article]
*[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/vordrak-samuel-collingwood-smith-sam-smith-benvolastar-matthew-hopkins.16771/ Vordrak's KiwiFarms thread]
*[https://twitter.com/benvolastar Vordrak's Twitter account]
*[http://www.kiwifarmswiki.com/ Vordrak's empty anti-KiwiFarms wiki]
*[[wikipedia:User:Vordrak|Vordrak at Wikipedia]]
*[http://thisisvideogames.com/gamergatewiki/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/Vordrak Vordrak at the GamerGate wiki]
*[https://www.reddit.com/user/Vordrak Vordrak's Reddit account]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Vordrak Vordrak's OkCupid account]
*[http://www.youtube.com/witchfinderMH Vordrak's youtube account]

{{Britfags}}
{{Goodguys}}
{{8chan}}
{{takedown}}

{{timeline|Featured article May 16 & 17, [[2016]]|[[David Futrelle]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Kesha]]}}

[[Category:People]]

Shaan Singh

2024-06-27T19:06:44Z

Feverflow:

{{User:FlynnR13/Template:AttackArticle}}
{{Rainbowsmall|ALL HAIL THE TOKU ARMY}}
{{aspie}}
{{lolcow2}}
{{Failsathero}}
{{ib|[[File:Shaanstare.png|300px]]}}
{{Ibhead|Shaan Singh}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|July 15, 2003}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality'''|[[Shit|Indian]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Residence'''|[[Canada]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Ethnicity'''|[[Sandnigger|Indian]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Gender'''|[[Male]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Sexuality'''|[[Pervert]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Aliases'''|Tokusatsudaily,SpeechSpace}}
{{Ibrow|'''Occupation'''|Raging at people, grooming minors, sending death threats, and annoying users with info no one cares about.}}
{{Ibend}}

'''Shaan Singh''' (a.k.a. SpeechSpace) is a {{age|2003|7|15}}-year-old [[Sandnigger|Indian]] [[manchild]] from [[Canada]] who tard rages over the littlest of things while simping for tokusatsu villainess [[animu|Larjula]] from [[Power Rangers|Wakusavers]], he also spends him time running [[shit no one cares about| A kiwi farms clone]] and harassing 14 year olds on Discord.

== Histoire ==
On July 15, 2003, Shaan Gregory Hartnett Singh was shat into the world by his pajeet parents in Montreal, Quebec. During his childhood, he claims that he grew up with a shitty Canuck tv series called [[wut|Bolts & Blip]], which along with [[Alex Jones|InfoWars]] and [[Indian|Zee TV]] radicalized him into the person he is today. He also claims that he was drugged and [[Bubba|r8ped]] by his school for being autistic apparently. Speaking of his autism, he claimed that he cured his autism with [[Mountain Dew]] a la [[Chris-chan]]. As for his school days, he got expelled for apparently getting into fights with the local [[weeaboos]] at his school.

== Filmmaking Skills ==

During the years 2018-2020, Shaan was involved with a film company known as [[Autism|Spectrum Productions]] where he created two shitty short films. The first one, released in 2019, known as The Church of Fantasia, was a one minute indoctrination piece about [[Disney]]. The second one, Totas Intergalatic Wish is about some [[autist|spastic]] decides to purchase a dog and manage to find a genie in a lamp because [[meth]]. Somehow, villains from [[Kamen Rider]], [[Power Rangers]] and [[Gundam]] show up out of nowhere to get the lamp and shit ensues.
<center>
{{videoframe|BOTDFvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>GLgzYf6eRq8</youtube>'''The Church of Fantasia'''
|<youtube>4d9bYfYHyo0</youtube>'''Totas Intergalatic Wish.'''
|}}
</center>

== What he has done ==
The following is what this fucking manchild has done
*Simped for anime women
*Was best friends with [[Darren A. Nichols|Darren Pipster]]
*Fapped to Jared Messing
and there's much more, but those are the major things he has done.

== Enemies ==
{{nobodies}}
*everyone

== Quotes ==
Quotes of the Shaan ensue.
<center>
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 260px;|font-weight: bold;

|Our alien overlord is a left-wing cajun.
|Shaan studying episodes of [[Hentai|Super Sentai]]
|ALL HAIL THE TOKU ARMY!!! DOWN WITH SHOCKER!!!
|Shaan literally being a Gundamfag
|'''LARJULAAAAAA!!!'
|Shaan when he faps to Wakusavers

|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}}}
</center>
 

== See Also ==
*[[Power Rangers]] - What he faps to daily
*[[Canada]]
*[[Darren A. Nichols]] - His bestie
*[[Diogo Mendes]] - Spic Shaan
*[[EDP445]] - The black version of Shaan
*[[HeyItsBowman]] - {{age|1996|9|10}}-year-old manchild who groomed a minor back in 2018

== External Links ==
*{{kf|86833|Shaan Singh & Others}}
*{{deviantart|rentroarchives|DeviantArt}}
*{{tiktok|shaan_ceshounce|TikTok}}
*https://open.spotify.com/show/0qHKsuh0LQ8rRBcke4OpoQ - Shitty Podcast

{{Canada}}
{{Ytseries}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{manchild}}
{{Childabuseseries}}