Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

I'm so random

2025-10-19T16:58:36Z

DOOMERBOY1999: /* Signs You Might Be rANDOM */

[[Image:Random_salad.jpg|150px|thumb|left|[[facepalm]]]]
[[Image:Definition_of_random.jpg|150px|thumb|No, you're wrong, it means doing cartwheels in the middle of Walmart]]
[[Image:Lost_boys_rob_lowe.jpg|150px|thumb|Actually random]]

"'''I'm so random!'''" is a statement made primarily by [[16 year old girls|irritating girls]] and is the hidden mantra of [[Uncyclopedia]].

Acting random (i.e stupid) is the [[IRL]] equivilant of [[Altcaps|TyPiNg LiKe ThIs]]. [[attention whore|People]] who claim to be random are often the exact opposite. Everything from their looks, to their actions, to the [[tourettes|words they scream out]], such as "banana" and "monkey," are calculated in such a way that makes them appear [[schizophrenic|unique]] and [[goth|edgy]] to themselves and their friends, but like [[retard|retarded]] four years olds to [[you|everyone else]]. [[ADD]]? No! You're just random!

Random individuals are often posing as [[emo]] or [[scene]] kids, but are actually just socially retarded losers who even the [[nerds]] wouldn't hang out with so they had to make their own cliques. They are ''seww randumb'' that they even dress alike! Isn't that random u guiz?

== Why are people "Soooooo random"? ==

=== Girls ===

The reason girls act "Random" is to mask their crippling insecurities. These can be caused by many reasons: Daddy issues, the [[lol|hardship of growing up]], but [[99%|9/10]] time they are caused due to them being [[fat]], [[ugly]] and socially awkward hoes sporting a pizza face. Their solution to this is to act like a retarded slut in an attempt to prove that "I'm not scared of anything!" or "I don't care what anybody thinks about me!". When, in reality, [[George Carlin|People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.]] Also, the question is raised: If you don't care what anyone thinks, why do you go out of your way to act like a moron and humiliate yourself in public for the sake of attention?

Furthermore, this act of indifference quickly crumbles to the ground as soon as it's put to the test of doing something that requires actual effort, courage or, unlike yelling "CHEESE MONKEY!" in the middle of the street to impress your friends, has any actual consequences. When such a challenge is presented, expect them to back off and tell you they "just don't feel like it". Also, 80% of all "SOOOOO [[retarded|RANDOM!]]" girls only act that way online or at [[anime]] conventions, and in school are mostly pathetic wall flowers that [[baww|sit alone at lunch.]]

=== Boys ===

Men mostly act "random" to draw attention from the fact they are sad [[nerds]]. When the dawning realization that they are unpopular dweebs that no one respects hits them, they prefer to grow a beard, put on a [[fedora]] and behave like they have [[autism]] and think that people think they are "cool". They also hope that women will confuse their [[unfunny|arbitrary nonsense]] for [[funny|actual humor]], their willingness to humiliate themselves for the entertainment of others for bravery, and somehow conceal the fact they are [[ugly]], [[cracker|pale skinned]] 90 pound weaklings who have absolutely [[micropenis|nothing to offer a woman]] and get easily pushed around by [[bully|anyone who's self confidence is not an act]], like theirs is.

== Guide To Dealing With Random People ==

=== Girls ===

For girls it's important to remember that they are desperate for approval, validation and [[attention]]. Therefore, they are willing to go to [[sex|great lengths]] to prove to you how [[stupid|Karay-zee]] they are. The correct thing to do is to take advantage of this and [[rape|use]] them for as much as you can by making them think that what they are doing is being done to prove themselves to you. Say things like: "Oh yeah? Well if you're so crazy, I '''dare''' you to show me your tits". Once you've used them for as far as their fake bravery will take them, discard them like a used condom and never talk to them again.

=== Boys ===

With men what you should do is: [[Bully]] them, beat them up, push them around and generally treat them like the sad losers they desperately try to convince themselves they aren't.

Don't worry; they can't fight back.

==Typical Random Quotes==
[[Image:BeethovenConducting.jpg|150px|thumb|This wizard is casting a spell, stop him!]]

<center>
{{frame|1={{morphquote|1=Random|2=background-color: #white;|3=font-weight: bold;
|4=hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,
|5=[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/katy-t3h-pengu1n-of-d00m t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m]

|6=I make alot of random noises and sounds :3
RAWR!
and than i rode a magical panda to work :,D
lololololololol
jk jk jk jk lol lol
northwest of my face!
unce unce unce
graffee abortion
[[shitting dick nipples|nipple extension]]
ima shark, suck my dick
my spoon is too big
i believe i cann flllyyy XD
and too many more
|7=[http://www.myspace.com/392559525 Natalie Nocturnal Neonaticide]

|8=I've been stung by 15,000 bees that were later to be proven to be [[mouth breather|monkeys]] who enjoy poking people with little sticks that are pasted onto their backs. Because of this, I've got a 50% chance of being [[Fail|impotent]] or 50% chance of [[Fag|omnipotence]]. So I got that going for me.
|9=[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/cordot Random Okcupid Fag]

|10=I'm much different than the average person...okay..a LOT different....[[furry|I don't even consider myself a person]] ..only a [[penis|very small part of me]] is, anyways....(this is a good thing)
|11=[http://lookaturlife.livejournal.com/25316.html briana bloodmoondawn beta bloodmoon-lust]

|12=/sinister voice: Nice ink, space adventurer! But it WON'T SAVE YOU.

No really, cool ink. And cool hair. Is it OK to call it punky? Is that even accurate?

Do you think that being a loner has to do with being selfish?

Can you also quote Sex Drive and Get Him To the Greek word for word too? Hey, did you see the Muppets? I haven't yet, BUT Eric Segal is IMO, pretty brilliant. The Alduous Snow character is just great great fun.

I too think of obscure scenarios and questions all the time. LIKE...what would you (or miss piggy) do if someone started snorting coke while you were doing their 'do?

Or just dropped trou and was like "WELL I'M MORE COMFORTABLE THIS WAY, DO MY HAIR WHILE I'M NAKED".

That'd be a pretty awesome story to be able to tell. Although mildly unsettling at the time, I'm sure.

Live long and prosper, Vulcan. Live long and prosper.

I really think you would enjoy Neil Gaiman, by the way.

I hope your arm heals and you have a really cool scar to show off. Or that it heals completely well without a scar. You know what I mean! Whatever you want.

Okay, cool. Message me back if you'd like to. I think we could have some super easygoing laughs, and yes, I genuinely think it'd be nice to get to know you, madame.

/bows away.
|13=Message from a super-randumb [http://www.okcupid.com/profile/davecha basement dweller] from Okcupid... because messages like these make da panties drop

|14=I'm Kaitlin:) 13 years young :D ([[Disregard that I suck cocks|Am I the only one that hates when people say they're whatever years young]]?) I'm emo ♥ I enjoy [[Goth|scratching people's names into my arms]]:) that's why I give tattoos ;D nahh jk >;D so yea hey! just to let ya know, I don't deal with drama or shit like that! I hate preps! >:O so NO MORE PREPS ADD ME! or you will DIE! >:D jk ;) haha ummmm....I'm funny, [[loli|perverted]], flirty, retarted (mentally) hehe, random, and sometimes nice :3 I love meeting new people but I'm not a people person :L just sayin. Yes I'm a flirt! so if I flirt with you, [[Lie|it doesn't mean I want to fuck you]] :) ok?! I wanna be an [[emo]] site model♥ "emo" and "[[scene]]" kidz are awesome and HOT! ;D♥ are you calling me [[bisexual|bi]]? haha [[attention whore|I kinda am, but I'm not sure]]! I love guys WAY more than girls ♥ Honestly I would never date a girl, I would just call one hot :3 there's that. I love the Black Veil Brides!♥ Andrew Biersack is MINE BITCHES!:D♥ I love screamo, rock, some rap, and metal-rock:)
|15=[http://efanz.livejournal.com/73070.html Random 13 year old girl]

|16=i am a pretty easliy amused person, and im very random. one moment im really calm ( or shy), next bam!! im in your face doing [[lemonparty|weird]] [[kittens|crazy]] [[2girls1cup|shit]].
|17={{yt|u|alainaALARMING|Anorexic Beauty Queen}}

|18=If you ever meet me in real life I am a naturally shy person :).Once I get to know you I am crazy and very loud.I will do the oddest things you would never think I would do.I make weird noises for no reason.I shout at people.I can't even explain how odd I am.I do like to be the [[attention whore|center of attention]] sometimes.
|19=Kelcie ([[bahleeted]])

|20=I have a very deep mind, most would not understand. If you could have a glimpse inside, you'd probably suffocate.
|21={{yt|u|alainaALARMING|Anorexic Beauty Queen}}, {{myspace|gd_ohsokrunk|Tamara}}, [http://vampirefreaks.com/BringMalaTheHorizon BringMalaTheHorizon], [http://www.stickam.com/dannymichael Dannymichael], [http://ellahaziiera.blogspot.com/2010/04/everything-i-say-is-misinterpreted-into.html#comments l.o.v.ella], [http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=153693029144 ❤ X Ţ ŔΆ Ž Ό Ή☠], [http://www.vampirefreaks.com/u/theREALtoxicSTAR theREALtoxicSTAR], the list goes on and on, [over 9000] people RANDOMLY have the exact same profile. Google it.
}}|border=grey|background=white}}
</center>

==Random Bideos==

C Wut I did there? I said bideos instead of videos! SOoOoOoO RANDOM!!!!#@(!)!)!_

<center>
{{frame|{{fv|fanvids|background-color:#FF3333;text-align:center;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>Hj6Gz2B_tok</youtube>
;Ja'mie King is the only one who can do random
|<youtube>YIywnvQpS9c</youtube>
;"Foam Adventure [Mirror]"
|<youtube>1lWyY3JKMgo</youtube>
;A lot of random people call [[TV Tropes]] home.
|<youtube>ERXq3r1Kq0Q</youtube>
;This is actually the most random thing I've ever see
|<youtube>oz31qzhswO0</youtube>
;Ironically, the only winner in this video is the McDonalds employee
|<youtube>DjqHPGz5-HU</youtube>
;T3h penguin of DOOM narrated
}}|border=#000000|background=#FF3333}}
</center>

==Signs You Might Be rANDOM==

[[Image:Lady-gaga-kermit-suit.jpg‎|150px|thumb|You thought you was random? Nigga please!]]
* You like rock AND pop music!
* You say you're "__ years young" when you're a teenager! LOL! THAT'S RESERVED FOR OLD PEOPLE SILLY!
* You scream weird words and phrases out, obv.
* You frequently receive the side eye.
* You break into song in public places.
* You talk about the ''cah-ray-zay'' things you do and follow it up with, "Don't ask."
* You walk around in a tutu like it's NBD, only it is a big deal.
* You're like totally obsessed with Barbie or [[Brony|My Little Pony]] past childhood.
* You go on and on about how people are looking at you funny (but nobody actually is).
* [[SephirothPrincess941|You subscribe to a religion from anime.]]
* You find that people cringe when you're around or try to avoid you.
* [[Fags|People]] call you '[[retarded|special]]'.
* You fail at life.
* You talk like "[[retarded|iM sO RaNdUM! LUL!]]"

==Things That Are ACTUALLY Random==

* [[random]].
* [[shit nobody cares about|The collapse of the wave function]].

==Gallery==

{{cg|GallerANDOM!|Unique Snowflakes|center|<gallery>
File:TVTropesSpecialShitflake.png|[[TV Tropes]] is the rectum many [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/Cloudcuckoolander special shit-flakes] call home.
File:TVTropesAnnoyingCunt.png|Behold the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/ManicPixieDreamGirl most annoying cunt in the world], hailing from TV Tropes!
File:Bunny_rape.jpg|[[You Gonna Get Raped]]
File:Hellokittydaughter.jpg|Because she's not really my daughter, AMIRITE?
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:BORROWUNDERWEAR.jpg|OMGG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ASKED THAT! YOU SO CRAZY@
File:Random_penguin.jpg|Try harder penguin!
File:whore fridge.png|LOL Y WUD U DO DAT?!
File:Dat_azz.jpg|Just showing you [[DAT ASS|my ass]] with an eye patch on, nbd!
File:Audrey_kitching_random_01.jpg|WUT R U DOING? CORNFLAKES DON'T EVEN COME FROM THE FRIDGE?
File:Regularscenester.jpg|Totally unplanned assortment of stupid fucking words on a picture
</gallery>|}}

==See Also==
*[[Attention Whore]]
*[[Emo]]
*[[Scene]]
*[[Tourettes]]
*[[Monkey]]
*[[Ninja]]
*[[Cheese]]
*[[Pirate]]
*[[Robot]]
*[[Dinosaur]]
*[[Zombie]]
*[[Goth]]
*[[Unfunny]]
*[[ADD]]
*[[Pie]]
*[[Cake]]
*[[Austrailia|THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD]] [[sarcasm|/sarcasm]]

==External Links==
*[http://sorandom.net SoRandom.net]
*[http://www.randomhouse.com Random House]
*[http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Random-access_humor Random-access humor]

[[Category:Faggotry]]

Suzano School Shooting

2025-10-18T02:36:30Z

DOOMERBOY1999: /* Reactions */

{{Hell}}
{{an hero|[[File:Guilherme Taucci Monteiro dead.jpg|130px|link=]]}}
{{Failsathero}}
{{Columbine Copycat|type=TWO MORE RETARDS}}
{{Portuspic}}
{{ib|[[File:Guilherme Taucci Monteiro.jpg|130px]][[File:Luiz Henrique de Castro.jpg|150px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Guilherme Taucci Monteiro and Luiz Henrique de Castro'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|July 5, [[2001]] (Guilherme) March 16, [[1990s|1993]] (Luiz)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|March 13, [[2019]] (aged 17 and 25)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality'''|[[Brazilian]]  [[File:MiniflagBrazil.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 8, injured 11}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS/Hack'N'Slash, Co-Op Mode}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes (Guilherme) No, killed by Guilherme (Luiz)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Bullying]] [[Retardation]]}}
{{Ibend}}
The '''Suzano School Shooting''' took place on March 13, 2019 at a shitty [[school]] in some shithole in [[Brazil]] (which is arguably all of it) called Suzano. The perpetrators, '''Guilherme Taucci Monteiro'''{{Nazi}} {{Atheist}} (17 years old, would be a {{age|2001|07|05}}-year-old) and '''Luiz Henrique de Castro''' (25 years old, would be a {{age|1993|03|16}}-year-old) were both former students of the school. They were [[NEET]] [[virgins]] with no social life who spent all their time [[Pokémon|playing crappy video games]] and fantasizing about imitating the actions of the two [[Columbine|Columbine faggots]]. <s>They were both active posters on a Brazilian [[List of *chan boards|message board]] called Dogolachan that idolized Columbine under the names "luhkrcher666" and "1guY-55chaN".</s> {{ytlink|ZXbtAZ7GiPI|Disproven by the prosecutor}}.

Guilherme was some [[pussy]] that dropped out of school due to getting picked on (probably due to being a massive faggot). Being a [[zoomer]], he was very active on [[social media]]. He idolized [[Timothy McVeigh]] and had [[Anders Breivik]] as his profile picture on [[Twitter]]. His [[mom]] was a [[crackhead]] so he was raised by his grandmother.

Much less is known about Luiz. What we do know is that he was a massive [[sperg]] who repeated eighth grade three times. He was described by his father as "weak-minded and would do what the other people wanted".

They only managed to rack up a measly seven kills in the school despite playing co-op. This is partially because Luiz was dead weight that hacked at the kiddies with a hatchet while his boyfriend shot instead of racking up kills. The pair also killed Guilherme's uncle before the attack in his car shop near the school. After the shooting, Guilherme killed his [[gay]] lover and then he [[An hero|became an hero]].

[[Image:monteiro.png|thumb|Guilherme Taucci Monteiro posing in front of the camera like BLZN [[Azn|AZN]] [[Cho Seung-Hui]]]]

== Treinando ==
Guilherme only uploaded one video to YouTube, called "Treinando" ("Training" in English). He showed off his target practice, yet never ended up actually using the crossbow.
[[File:Treinando.mp4|center]]

== Attack ==
[[Image:Guilherme Taucci Monteiro dead.jpg|thumb|WASTED. Note the single glove that Eric Harris wore first. [[Vladislav Roslyakov]] wore it better.]]

Realizing they both were going to die virgin wagecucks working in some shitty factory, Guilherme convinced his [[retarded]] friend Luiz they had to shoot up a school for a slim chance of obtaining some [[Columbiners|fangirls]] in the afterlife like his heroes Eric and Dylan. After having stolen his uncle's car with his friend, they both drove to a worthless deprecated school to shoot up to leave a lasting impression on the world. The cameras recorded our attackers entering the school at around 10:40 a.m. local time. Guilherme entered the building first, hiding his face from subhumans while grabbing a hidden gun. Then, he started shooting fucking everything, only downing two. He IRL [[Banhammer|banhammered]]
staff members as well as several meatbags in front of him before entering the main patio in hunt of his victims. By this time, Luiz appeared on camera entering the building and hacking the injured with a hatchet. Somehow these retards only brought one .38 caliber revolver for two people so they resulted to punching random girls instead of shooting them. They brought Molotovs, a crossbow, and a bow and arrow but didn't use any of it. Just like their 1999 predecessors, they also had planted a [[bomb]] (that didn't go off). The lazy fucks couldn't even be bothered to make multiple. Eventually, they did what they should have done in the first place and an heroed. Their pea-sized brains were later scraped off the floor by Paulo the janitor.

[[File:Suzano Aftermath.mp4|center]]

==Casualties==

===Students===
*'''Caio Oliveira''', 15 [[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]
*'''Claiton Antônio Ribeiro''', 17 [[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]
*'''Douglas Murilo Celestino''', 16 [[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]
*'''Kaio Lucas da Costa Limeira''', 15 [[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]
*'''Samuel Melquíades Silva de Oliveira''', 16 [[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]

===School staff===
*'''Marilena Ferreira Vieira Umez''', 59 [[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]
*'''Eliana Regina de Oliveira Xavier''', 38 [[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]

===Perpetrators' relatives===
*'''Jorge Antônio Moraes''', 51, Guilherme's uncle [[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]

== Reactions ==

Many authorities, manipulative politicians, artists, [[bronies]], [[Sans Fangirls|Sans fangirls]], [[trolls]], [[furries]] and [[Columbiners|crap like that]] expressed their condolences and commented on the tragedy. [https://www.2news.com/third-suspect-in-brazil-school-shooting-is-arrested/article_b3910945-4415-5636-beb4-9226ec4fffe5.html The third perpetrator who Taucci had known for longer than Luiz] expressed outrage that Taucci and Luiz had done with the attack without him, later being arrested for 'helping' plot the attack after police checked messages between him and Taucci.

=== State government ===
João Doria, governor of [[Shithole|São Paulo]], canceled his corrupted activities and flew to Suzano in a [[Omg|private jet]] along with Rossieli Soares, the state's Secretary of Education; Colonel Salles, military police commander; and [[Wtf|CIA]] general João Camilo Pires de Campos. Doria lamented the attack and decreed 3 days of mourning in the state.

=== Federal government ===
President Jair Bolsonaro applauded the tragedy and wrote on twitter "He did it for the lulz! OMG!". Ricardo Vélez Rodríguez, Minister of Education, expressed solidarity: "HAHA, THIS IS HILARIOUS! BRAZIL FINALLY HAS A NICE SCHOOL SHOOTING SINCE [[Wellington Menezes de Oliveira|THAT FAGGOT FROM 2011]]!" Onyx Lozrenzoni, Chief of Staff, of course, tweeted his respect to the shooters.

=== Congress ===
Rodrigo Maia, President of the Chamber of Deputies, expressed his solidarity towards the shooters and said that "We need moar of this shit". Davi Alcolumbre, President of the Senate, expressed his condolences and tweeted: "I hope that the real causes behind that tragedy will be discovered".

=== Media ===
POKÉMON DID IT!

==Loadout==

<center>
{|class="wikitable" width="45%" style="text-align:left"
!colspan="2"|Class Setup
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Guilherme''': .38 Taurus Model 85 revolver
[[Image:GTA4IconsColtPython.png|center|140px]]
|
*Look man, it's Brazil. Getting an actually decent gun is out of the question. '''+15-25 Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Luiz''': Hatchet
<center>[[Image:Axe.jpg|center|90px]]</center>
|
*Combat axe. Used to finish off the wounded. '''+10-15 Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Unused''': Man Kung Crossbow
<center>[[File:Archer.png|center|50px]]</center>
|
*UNUSED. '''+10-15 Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Unused''': Vixion Scorpion compound bow
<center>[[File:Archer.png|center|50px]]</center>
|
*UNUSED. '''+5-10 Damage'''
|-
|
*'''Unused''': Molotov Cocktails
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsMolotov.png|center|80px]]</center>
|
*UNUSED. '''+15-20 Damage'''
|-
|
* '''Spell (Guilherme)''': SIEGE mask™
<center>[[File:SiegeMask.jpg|50px]]</center>
|
*'''Double damage against NPCs in a educative institution Triple if they are in Brazil Sex Appeal stat cuts a quarter + Intelligence stat cuts in a half.
|}
</center>

==Graded Score==

{{GradedScore|8|11 injured|10|Blame [[Pokémon Go]]!|5|Third world faggots imitating Columbine.|15|Massive butthurt in Brazil + [[Henrique Lira Trad|other]] [[Gabriel Rodrigues Castiglioni|lulzy]] [[Guilherme Reis|copycats]] [[Luluzinho|across]] [[Gabriel Alejandro Galaviz|the]] [[Solomon Henderson|continent]].|10|Didn't use the crossbow or bow and arrows.|48|D-|O [[Columbine|Columbina]] da América Latina.}}

{{Wanted|3}}

==Gallery==
{{cg|'''Field Trip to Brazil'''|COLgall|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Luiz Henrique de Castro dead.jpg|Luiz's corpse
File:Suzano Shooting Crossbow.jpg|UNUSED bow
File:Suzano Shooting Molotovs.jpg|UNUSED Molotovs
File:Suzano Shooting IED.jpg|The IED
File:Suzano School Shooting.jpg|The Sk00l
File:Suzano CANT RUN.jpg|A journal found inside the stolen car
</gallery>|}}

==Videos==
<center>
{{frame|{{videoframe|nootnoot|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>1V_snL-JVF8</youtube>}}
|border=white|background=white}}
</center>

==See Also==
* [[Brenton Tarrant]] - BTFO'd Guilherme and Luiz only two days later.
* [[Gabriel Alejandro Galaviz]] - A Mexican school stabber who was the first non-Brazilian Suzano wannabe.
* [[Isaac Chagas]] - Another Brazilian school shooter.
* [[Kongsberg Bow and Arrow Rampage]] - A [[Denmark|Dane]] brought a bow and arrow to his spergout but actually used it.
* [[Medianeira School Shooting]] - A [[fail|completely botched]] prequel to Suzano.
* [[Pedro J. Garcia]] - The duo's most [[retard|intelligent and well-functioning]] fan.
* [[Pekka-Eric Auvinen]] - The Finnish version of Columbine.

==External Links==
* {{Wikilink|Suzano_massacre|TOW coverage}}
* {{Yt|c|UCpGFyCJkJVqwS3zF6iDCIFA|<s>Guilherme's YouTube</s>}} - '''Baleeted''' {{Archive|BghwK|(archive)}}
* {{Twitter|d33ployyyz|<s>Guilherme's Twitter</s>}} - '''Unavailable but not baleeted''' (Archived: [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1H0bj2XrSqj0TgOFiPFAtTHL2-B8ATUDL/view 1] {{Archive|RKhPz|2}} {{Wayback|https://twitter.com/d33ployyyz|20190318021746|title=3}})
* {{Wayback|https://fmrural.com.br/2019/03/13/cenas-fortes-video-mostra-atiradores-e-alunos-mortos-em-momento-de-correria-em-escola-de-suzano-sp/|20220718025756|title=Pwned kids and the killers' corpses}}
* {{Reddit|masskillers/comments/km08c7/interview_with_one_of_suzano_school_shooters/|Interview with Luiz's father}}

{{Anheroes}}
{{Columbine}}
{{Dyingalone}}
{{Education}}
{{Gun control}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Nazis}}
{{Portuguese}}
{{Suzano}}
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Columbine]]
[[Category:Crime]]
[[Category:Suicide]]
[[Category:2019]]

User:DOOMERBOY1999

2025-10-16T17:20:26Z

DOOMERBOY1999: Created page with "Shooter enthusiast I am not a jew"

Shooter enthusiast

I am not a jew

Columbine

2025-10-16T14:56:47Z

DOOMERBOY1999: /* The basement tapes */

{{DISPLAYTITLE:LOLumbine}}
{{offended}}
 
{{Double An Heroes|[[File:Columbinekillersview2.jpg|200px|link=]]}}
 
{{ib|[[File:Eric and Dylan.jpeg|200px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|April 9, [[1980s|1981]] (Eric) [[9/11|September 11]], [[1980s|1981]] (Dylan)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|[[Weed|April 20]], [[1999]] (aged 18 and 17)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality'''|[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 14 (including 1 victim in [[2025]]), injured 23 (20 by gunfire)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Co-Op Mode}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Idklol]]}}
{{Ibend}}
[[File:Columbine army of two.png|thumb|The two [[an hero|heroes]] pictures here]]
[[Image:Columbineinternet.jpg|thumb|Oh Jay and Silent Bob! Up to another hair-brained scheme!]]

[[Image:Ctapest.jpg|thumb|[[Longcat|They had been planning for a looooooooooooooong time.]]]]

[[Image:Outcasts.jpg|thumb|The one on the left was clearly "[[Retard|the brains]]" of this operation.]]

[[Image:Weegeshot.jpg|thumb|Evidence of [[Weegee|third shooter?]]]]

[[Image:Schoolraider3.jpg|thumb|Now available in stores for PS1; $42.099!]]

[[Image:Kill_Classmates.gif|thumb|More like Lolumbine [[amirite]]?]]

[[File:columbineanheroes.jpg|thumb|The [[an Hero|heroes]] of Columbine. (but are the books alright?)]]

[[Image:Lulzycolumbine1.jpg|thumb|lol]]
[[File:No Eyebrows Eric harris.gif|thumb]]

[[File:Marilyn manson witchcraft metal.jpg|thumb| [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiaxzBlFgmQ Was actually believed to cause Lolumbine with his satanic heavy angry emo-death metol witchcraft music] ]]

[[Image:Columbine preparefortrouble.jpg|thumb|right]]
The '''Columbine High School Massacre''' ([[Twilight|Still a better love story than Twilight]]) was basically the funniest thing that has ever happened in any [[high school]] [[evar]]. On [[Weed|April 20th]], 1999, in Littleton, [[Colorado]], American [[An hero|an heroes]] '''Eric David Harris'''{{atheist}} and '''Dylan Bennet Klebold'''{{jew}} got over a dozen frags IRL at their local high school after attempting to simulate [[Doom]] in the real world. Originally, they planned on blowing up their schools' cafeteria during lunchtime, but their propane bombs failed and they ended up [[Zerg Rush|rushing into the school]], killing people left and right before turning their guns on themselves and becoming [[an heroes]]. Their total kill count was '''14''', an unimpressive score given how they were using sub-machine guns in [[Counter-Strike|the pistol round]], and were elevated to "WORST PEOPLE OF 1999" posthumously, for the most violent [[school shooting]] spree in [[Jewnited States of Americunts|American]] history shortly after [[Bill Clinton]] authorized the massacre of thousands of Serbian children.

They held this title for nearly a decade before [[Cho Seung-Hui|a gook]] killed over thirty people at [[Virginia Tech]] in [[2007]], <s>although [[White People|Eric]] and [[Jew|Dylan]] still hold the high score for ''high school'' shooting- in America, that is</s> they were later overtaken by [[Nikolas Jacob Cruz]] on [[Valentine's Day|February 14]], [[2018]]. [[German]] residents [[Tim Kretschmer]] and [[Robert Steinhauser]] racked up fifteen and sixteen frags, respectively, at their local schools.

In the weeks, months, and years following their killing spree, massive witchhunts were held as trolls, [[Goth|goths]], musicians ([[Marilyn Manson]], [[Eminem]]), movies ([[Quentin Tarantino|Natural Born Killers]], [[The Matrix]]), television shows, and anyone not amongst the exclusive ranks of [[The beautiful people]] were rounded up and taken to concentration camps as the need to scapegoat anyone for the crimes led to America being whipped up into a frenzy of anti-lulz, and retardation in the biggest moral panic in decades, of the same category of the future [[9/11]] attacks. Instead of waging a war of terror against innocent sand niggers, Americunts made the lives of [[teenagers]] even worse by destroying the lives of any weird or unconventional kids, for dozens of years to come.

Despite happening well over a generation ago, the Columbine High School Massacre still continues to inspire thousands upon thousands of [[columbine copycats]] and [[Columbiners|fangirls]] to this very day. Like they stated in their manifesto, Eric and Dylan continue to inspire paranoia, fear, copycats, and more terror upon the world, 18+ years after they died. Columbine also has a permanent effect on [[Oxymoron|American culture]], if not global culture in general; just try wearing a trench coat to school and see how that plays out for you.

==History==
[[An hero day|On April 20th]] ([[Lie|coincidentally]] Hitler's birthday) Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold forgot to take their Prozac and engaged in final fap sessions while listening to "The Beautiful People," shut the lights off of all reality, got in their cars, skipped homeroom and were late to school (started the day off h4rdc0rE). They arrived, hit the "start button," selected characters, ReB and v0dKa, and decided to go on a killing spree on Level 1 of H4rr15 Levels after spending an entire year planning it out. (They fapped over this for a year and some months) [[k/|building bombs, buying guns,]] [[dumbass|making movies and writing stories declaring their plans]] while KMFDM played in the background, and even practicing their killing spree on various first-person shooter games. However, they phailed hard because on their $5 per hour pay [http://acolumbinesite.com/weapon.html they could only afford shit-tier guns and not the TACTICOOL DEAGLEs or P90s that they fapped over].

==Loadout==
The Columbine killers assembled an [[shit|impressive]] arsenal- well, impressive for the minimum wage budget they were running on. These are the evil tactical sentient mass murder assault weapons that crybaby leftist cocksuckers want to ban:

<div align="center">
{|class="wikitable" width="40%"
!colspan="2"|Eric Harris
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Hi-point 995 Carbine
<center>[[File:Eric Rifle.png|70px]]</center>
|
*A cheap, ugly, piece-of-shit 9mm carbine with crappy poor quality 10 round magazines. The media at the time liked to refer to this gun as an 'assault rifle' even though it had been specifically designed to comply with the 'assault weapons ban' put in place in 1994 supposedly to stop things like this from happening. Real assault rifles (which are capable of selecting between semi and fully-automatic or burst fire) are not readily available to the general public anyway. '''TL;DR''': Epic gun control [[fail]]. '''18~30 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': *Savage-Springfield 67H Shotgun
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsRem870Sawed.png|90px]]</center>
|
*Pump action 12 gauge that no one's ever heard of that was over 30 years old. Stock completely sawed-off and barrel sawed-off to make the whole gun an illegally short 26 inches long (the length Eric wished his dick was). This gun became Eric's imaginary girlfriend which he called 'Arlene' and had sex with a number of times in an attempt to fill the shotgun cartridges with his AIDS infected semen to make it moar deadly. '''60~130 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Tertiary''': Pipe Bombs and Knives
<center>[[File:Eric_bombs.jpg|70px]]</center>
|
*An arsenal of poorly made explosives and lame knives they're too weak to successfully utilize unless they have a high critical rate is present. '''12~999 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 1''': Sociopathy/Psycho
<center>[[Image:George-bush-leads-the-us-towar.jpg|50px]]</center>
|
*This perk is derived from filling out one of the Autism/Asspie skill trees. 18 years of accumulated anglo rage unleashed upon the world. It is in his genetics to mass murder millions of people anyways. Unfortunately that little faggot was too much of a tool to do anything right. Extreme increase in damage, destruction, and HP in exchange for apathy towards the well-being of teammates. '''(+4 Frenzy points a day (+30% weapon damage, +3 Constitution for 6 minutes) (+20% weapon damage) (+25% intimidation success) (-90% empathy)'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 2''': Assault Trenchcoat
<center>[[Image:Trenchcoat.gif|50px]]</center>
|
*This cheap ass duster allows for additional inventory for the player along with a moderate bonus to intimidation attribute. However, movement is moderately staggered. '''(+8 inventory slots) (+30% intimidation success) (-1 Agility) (-10% movement speed)'''
|}
</div>

<div align="center">
{|class="wikitable" width="40%"
!colspan="2"|Dylan Klebold
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Intratech TEC-DC9
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsTEC9.png|90px]]</center>
|
*The other craptastic 9mm used. A poorly made, cheap, jam-o-matic made to look like a machine pistol to appeal to niggers and spics for use in drive-by's. Early models could be illegally converted to full-auto which, again, the media had a shit fit about even though the gun used was a later model which could not be converted. Not that they needed to worry as these two retards' ineptitude in engineering (as can be seen with the crappy non-exploding bombs they made) would probably mean that any attempt to convert it would just result in it [[Cum|exploding]] in their face the next time they tried to fire it. '''21~33 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': Double-Barrel Savage 311-D
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsSawedOff.png|90px]]</center>
|
*A shitty double-barrel shotgun that was sawed off to an extreme and lacks a good stock, thus presenting extreme recoil to the noodle-armed kike. Very ineffective unless the Sneak Attack bonus is applied at close range. '''65~155 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Tertiary''': Pipe Bombs and Knives
<center>[[File:Knivesth.jpg|70px]]</center>
|
*An arsenal of poorly made explosives and lame knives they're too weak to successfully utilize unless a high critical rate is present. '''12~999 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 1''': Height
<center>[[Image:Heightresource.jpg|50px]]</center>
|
*Dylan Klebold was a tall ass kike, standing at 6'3''. This provides additional movement speed along with the intimidation factor. (+15% movement speed) (+35% intimidation success)
|-
|
*'''Perk 2''': Assault Trenchcoat
<center>[[Image:Trenchcoat.gif|50px]]</center>
|
*This cheap ass duster allows for additional inventory for the player along with a moderate bonus to intimidation attribute. However, movement is moderately staggered. '''(+8 inventory slots) (+30% intimidation success) (-1 Agility) (-10% movement speed)'''
|}
</div>

In addition to this, the two faggots carried a number of knives that they [[Fail|didn't use]], along with a number of [[Terrorist|IEDs]] of various sizes and designs that they built using [[The Anarchist Cookbook|instructions from the Internet]] to [[Unrealistic expectations|blow up the school]], but ultimately failed when the vast majority of them didn't assplode. These include:

*42 [[Fart|carbon dioxide]] bombs
*27 [[Dildo|pipe]] bombs
*11 1.5 gallon propane bombs
*7 [[Kill it with fire|Molotov cocktails]] (seriously how do you fuck up a Molotov cocktail?)
*2 20 pound propane bombs

As you can see, gun control laws totally work. Mass murder is only possible with full auto AK-47's. Criminals will totally follow the law and won't ever make homemade bombs or saw off their shotguns, or just go to gun shows to get around background checks. Totally.

==Graded Score==

{{GradedScore|14|5 by Klebold and 9 by Harris, 20 injured between the two.|11| |20|Manipulation, bomb collection, trenchcoat, ski masks, [[The Doom Comic|macabre flair]] and [[Gay|KMFDM]]|'''200'''|Creating a moral panic, inspiring generations of [[faggot|copy-cats]], and pissed off the school system for 20+ years|20|[[OG]] Shooters|265|'''S++'''|[[Fallout|Invest more skillpoints in Explosives next time.]]}}

{{Wanted|5}}

==Scapegoats==

<center><youtube>NiaxzBlFgmQ</youtube></center>

Eric and Dylan apparently had a lot of love and fanboyism towards Marylin Manson and his music according to [[Old Media]]. An irony, since in reality, Eric hated that fag and Dylan only had a poster of the band but rarely listened to it. Manson took part of the blame because angry parents [[retard|mistakenly]] believed that the two fags were obsessed his music. They also hated [[Hitler]], or at least Klebold did. Even more interesting was that he was a [[Jews did WTC|Jew]]. In addition, Klebold was born on '''9/11''', [[1980s|1981]]; 20 years before WTC. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Harris_and_Dylan_Klebold No, srsly.] [[No|Coincidence?]] Harris meanwhile admired both [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] AND [[Osama bin Laden|Osama Bin Ladin]], with Harris regularly IMing Osama and telling him all about the various mass murder schemes that Harris dreamed up at night while masturbating to crime scene photos he downloaded off of the Internet. Most notably, Harris is the one who gave Osama the idea of flying planes into buildings, making Eric Harris the REAL [[Your mother|man]] behind 9/11.

Afterward, [[Soccer_mom|EVERYONE]] who loved to censor society felt the need to blame just about everything in pop culture as the cause of the killing spree, such as [[Eminem]], [[Doom]], and even [[Goth]]s, despite the killers hating goth culture and rap music. Others tried to blame the [http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt124361.html/ Victim], by bringing up the fact that Columbine High School [[Truth|was a literal hell on Earth]], where a violent [[Jock]]ocracy, ruled by the worst of the worst of the school's student [[gay|athletes]], had complete and total control of the school. This was only further worsened by the school's ass-kissing teachers/administrators who allowed bullying to run rampant and was just [[Asking for it| asking for]] their students to take up arms and literally take the school back in violent revolution taken straight out of the history books tales of the American Revolution.

Of course, at the time it was unknown that Eric Harris was a complete and total sociopath who would have grown up to be a [[serial killer]] or the guy in special forces who goes insane in the field killing Iraqis, and has to be put down by his fellow [[redneck|soldiers]]. Or that his lover, Dylan Klebold, [[Truth|was a closet homosexual who let Eric fuck him in the ass and face]] and followed him with his plot, with Eric manipulating Dylan's emo-ness and submissive nature.

'''TL;DR:'''

<pre>In Littleton, Colorado born and raised
Making pipebombs was where I spent most of my days
Luvoxin' out Doomin' KMFDMin' all gay
And all settin' some time bombs outside of the school
When a couple of jocks
Who were up to no good
Started making fun of the way I dressed
I shot 18 kids and the cops got scared,
They said, "You're movin' with Ted Bundy and Jeff Dahmer in prison!"

I called for the cops and when they came near
The license plate said jocks and it had footballs in the mirror
If anything I can say this car was rare
But I thought "Now forget it" - "Yo ReB, to the commons!"

I pulled up to the school about 10 or 11
And I yelled to the cops "Natural Selection"
I looked at my high school
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Counter-Strike irl.</pre>

Columbine was ruled for years as the deadliest [[School Shooting]] [[evar]], until it was surpassed by the [[Virginia Tech massacre]] in [[2007]]. Of course, Virginia Tech is a college (and was committed by an Asian), so some argue that Columbine is still number one even though it took two people to kill 13, and even then, centered around a bunch of bombs that [[Fail|weren't built right and didn't fucking go off]]. Harris and Klebold were clearly trolling after [[I_did_it_for_the_lulz|killing ten people]]; Cho was [[trying too hard]].

==Controversy==
[[File:Students.gif|thumb|right]]
[[Image:coyaoi.jpg|thumb|right|Definitive proof that the [[columbine killers]] were fags.]]
[[Some argue]] that Eric and Dylan were [[fag|lovers]] and that [[Jews did WTC|Jews did Columbine]] or that Dylan just fell [[mugu]] to Eric's plan. What is funny about this though, is the fact that Dylan and Eric were actually part of a Jewish power movement bent on exterminating non-Jews, causing much lulz to people smart enough to research lolumbine. The fact that Klebold was born on September 11th, 1981, and his fag friend 'Reb' wanted to hijack a plane and crash it into the World Trade Center is enough evidence to support this hypothesis. This also made the gods of irony cum instantly upon hearing the "Friends of Rachael Club" say that Eric and Dylan were "Hitler worshipers".

In one of their videos called '''"Hitmen for Hire"''' (having previously featured a member of staff from the school), the boys proclaim themselves to be the [[white knights]] of those abused at the school by the jock shitheads, suggesting they would be targeting specific cliques for eradication. When the day finally arrived and the shooting began, it appears the ultra surge of orgasmic, delirium-inducing adrenaline pulsing through their minds took over, and they began shooting randomly, indicating a potential [[epic fail]] with regards to the mission objective - the boys did not have the bomb. They did, however, have an example of why terrorists should test DIY bombs prior to putting them into service when using [[The Anarchist Cookbook]] as primary reference material. The selection of an indiscriminate killing weapon (Propane tank bomb) forms a second disparity with the viewpoints from their [[white knight]] videos.
{{Clear}}

==List of jocks pwned==
[[File:ColumbineVictims.jpg|400px|center]]
<center>[http://acolumbinesite.com/victim/index.php Information on those PWN'd]</center>
===Fatalities===

*'''Rachel Scott'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 17/yo Stacy who was among the first casualties. We cover her in more detail later on in the article.

*'''Daniel Rohrbough'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 15/yo nerdy kid. Police incompetence with reporting his death, and conspiracies lead the family to believe that SWAT accidentally pwn'd him.

*'''Cassie Bernall'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 17/yo obsessive christfag. Many believed her to be the girl who was asked "[[Do you believe in god]]?, making her another martyr for religious freaks. We also have a segment about her below.

*'''Steve Curnow'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]:14/yo armyfag and jock.

*'''Corey DePooter'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 17/yo jock and normie

*'''Kelly Fleming'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: [[16 year old girls|16/yo]] [[emo]] [[artfag]] who looked like she would've shot up the school anyway even if Reb and Vodka hadn't

*'''Matthew Kechter'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 16/yo roidmonkey football jock/chad.

*'''Daniel Mauser'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 15/yo nerd who was a shining star to the planet and a [[Pretty cool guy]]. Sadly, the fag Eric Harris brutally murdered him. His dad, {{yt|ch|UCrhsJLphJ_-iIyW4R9o7_EA|Tom Mauser}}, would later go on to fight hard for [[Gun Control]], which certainly stopped the [[Aurora Theater Shooting]].

*'''Isaiah Shoels'''[[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]: 18/yo nigra and jock who was called a nigger and murdered. His parents cried 'muh racism' and fled the evil bigoted state of [[Colorado]] to flee to more liberal pastures - [[Texas]].

*'''John Tomlin'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 16/yo christfag and redneck.

*'''Lauren Townsend'''[[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]: 18/yo Stacy and captain of a volleyball team.

*'''Kyle Velasquez'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 16/yo mentally disabled student with a big physique.

*'''William "Dave" Sanders'''[[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]: 47/yo man who taught computer and business skills at the school for 25+ years. Upon discovering what was beginning to hatch out, he directed hundreds of students to safety. He was shot and critically wounded, leaving him to bleed to death while SWAT was too pussy to infiltrate the school and failed to stop 2 retards. This, along with the deaths of library students, caused extreme controversy. Verdict? '''Fuck the police.'''

*'''Anne Hochhalter'''[[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]: 43/yo chick who got injured at the age of 17. Her mom would later an-hero. Died on February 16, 2025 from the injuries she sustained nearly 26 years before. It is believed that both wounds were caused by EH.

===Injuries===

*'''Brian Anderson''': 17/yo injured by glass after Eric spotted him and shot a door. In interviews, he revealed that he was targeted due to wearing a white hat- a sign that he was a jock.

*'''Richard Castaldo''': 17/yo who was shot along with Rachael Scott at the beginning of the bloodbath. Although he survived, he was left permanently paralyzed and crippled, bound to a wheelchair. He was part of Michael Moore's movie, Bowling For Columbine. [[What|He was also semi-supportive of the]] [[Super Columbine Massacre RPG]] [[What|game]].

*'''Jennifer Doyle''': 17/yo generic Stacy who got shot

*'''Stephen Eubanks''': 16/yo who was best friend of Corey DePooter. Another jock douchebag

*'''Nicholas Foss''': 18/yo generic douche jock type

*'''Sean Graves''': 15/yo dude who got shot in the back. Played dead while Dylan stepped over him. Probably saved his life.

*'''Makai Hall''': 19/yo jap invader. Got interviewed by CNN

*'''Patrick Ireland''': 17/yo jock. He was the guy who fell down the windows to SWAT. Was the first to think up and propose within local communities by arming school teachers with firearms in order to prevent school shootings.

*'''Michael Johnson''': 15/yo guy with the most generic name ever.

*'''Joyce Jankowski''': 45/yo teacher.

*'''Mark Kintgen''': 17/yo ugly nerd who noticed the school message board read "Today is not a good day to be here." He got shot in the fucking head yet this nerdy son of a bitch survived.

*'''Lisa Kreutz''': 18/yo cute chick who luckily survived, but never spoke about what happened. Believed to be a {{Jew}}

*'''Lance Kirklin''': 16/yo boy who was friends with Brooks Brown and a few others. Got shot in the face, breaking off huge parts of his jaw and bones. Somehow was able to recover, and continued to hunt with his dad. At a town meeting attended by then-president [[Bill Clinton]], he spoke up in defense of gun rights, triggering liberal fags.

*'''Adam Kyler''': 16/yo guy who looked like what would happen when you press "Randomize" on the [[Oblivion]] character creation menu. He got harassed a lot by Dylan

*'''Stephanie Munson''': 17/yo chick who got shot in the foot who somehow managed to run the fuck out of the school and get help.

*'''Patricia Nielson''': 35/yo known as the annoying bitch in the Library calls to 9/11. STUDENTS DOWN UNDER THE TABLES!!!!1

*'''Nicole Nowlen''': 16/yo chick who looked like a 40 yo.

*'''Jeanna Park''': 18/yo barely legal gook chick who was unsurprisingly an A+ student.

*'''Kacey Ruegsegger''': 17/yo chick who got shot and was told to "Quit your bitching". Her story was an integral part of Lolumbine lore.

*'''Valeen Schnurr''': 18/yo who was the real chick who was asked if she believed in god.

*'''Daniel Steepleton''': 17/yo kid who provided lots of false information to the pigs

*'''Evan Todd''': 15/yo jock asshole who was unfortunately spared by Dylan.

*'''Mark Taylor''': 17/yo new kid who was at the school for only 3 weeks before he was injured via ballistic trauma- a new record for an American student!

===Post-massacre fatalities===
Despite the caucasian chimpout being long over, Columbine left an invincible wave of destruction to forever plague the victims and their families, and people all over the world.

*'''Hundreds of People''': A huge chunk of mass shootings, and nearly '''all''' school shootings, connect to Columbine in a way, as the massacre opened up a pandora's box, spawning [[Columbine Copycats|copycats]] and helping to turn the act of ass murder into a meme for losers to follow.

*'''Greg Barnes''': This guy was the friend of Matthew Kechter who was shot to death in the shooting. The overwhelming sorrow of brutally losing his best buddy helped to push this troubled teen over the edge. Shortly after the first anniversary of the attack, this guy killed himself via hanging, while he listened to the song "Adam's Song" by Blink 182. This caused significant drama in the already-shocked community.

*'''Carla Hochhalter''': Mother of Anne Hochhalter, who was injured in the attacks. Carla was severely depressed before Columbine, but the event pushed her over the edge. She killed herself at a gun store in front of around a dozen witnesses.

*'''Austin Eubanks''': Victim who {{archive|ihJmb|'lost his battle'}} to [[drugs]].

*'''Anne Marie Hochhalter''': The daughter of Carla Hochhalter. She died from sepsis in 2025 after one of those rascals, believed to be EH, shot her once in the spine and later once in the torso during lunch in 1999. Her death was ruled a homicide, officially making her the 14th casualty. Congrats boys for the +1 to casualties 26 years post mortem!

==Rachael Scott==

'''Rachael Scott''' was some stupid [[cunt|cunt]] who made the mistake of [[retard|eating outside the front door of Columbine High School]] the day of the grand Caucasian chimpout spree. [[Rape|She caught a few dozen rounds in the]] [[ass]] and [[tits]] and died. This caused many [[Christfag]] family members to instantly [[cry|bawwww]] over the loss of their little girl (also known as [[Missing white woman syndrome]]). [[Jew|They then decided to market her]]. [[liar|They said that "she envisioned changing the world" and that in her bullet-ridden notebook she drew a picture of a plant crying "9 tears". Those "9 tears" were apparently a psychic vision made by the dead bitch]].

===Friends of Rachael Club===
So the hillbilly fucks started a group/way to profit off from the death of a family member, called the "friends of Rachael club". Basically, they [[troll]] the hallways of high schools asking people to be nice to random wapanese and animefags and asking for donations. Only [[fat|fat losers]], [[cunt|cunts]] with no boyfriends, [[furry|furries]], and [[dyke|dykes]] are in the friends of Rachael club. To sell the groups image they had a random hick they paid in moonshine say he was Rachael’s uncle, and that [http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt124361.html/ Eric and Dylan were Nazis]. When he said this, schools everywhere then shat bricks and exclaimed in the genius fashion that only high schoolers can achieve, "HITLER IS BAD!!!1ONEONEONE" Many other students then responded by closing the pool and forming 8 man swastigets.

tl;dr Rachael got [http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt124361.html/ owned] and family is butthurt.

{{Clear}}

===''I'm Not Ashamed''===

[[2016|Seventeen years after Columbine]], the family STILL tries to profit off the death of their daughter; this time, they've contracted a team to make a movie about the dead bitch. The only ones to give good reviews are typically [[redundant|religious nuts]]. There are some reports that numerous [[Columbiners]] went to see this movie [[IRL Troll|whilst wearing a trenchcoat]].

<center><youtube>KdS4CFj02Bo</youtube></center>

==Cassie Bernall==
Urban legend has it that one of their victims, a girl named Cassie, was reading a Bible in study hall when the two stormed in and started [[trolling IRL]]. The less socially awkward boy noticed this and [[allegedly]] asked her, "[[Do you believe in god]]?" to which she answered "yes" and was beaten to death with a [[Half-Life|crowbar]]. [[IRL]] none of this actually happened, as he simply shot her after saying "Peekaboo". The last person to see her alive said that her last words were "Dear God. Dear God. Why is this happening? I just want to go home," one of the whiniest things heard by man, so the shooter was obligated to shoot her. Her parents have since milked the story to make lots of [[money]] as neither of them have a [[conscience]]. She has since become [[an hero]] to the cult of [[Christianity]].

People try to use Cassie's death as a way to prove the so-called oppression of the Christians in today's society, forgetting the rest of the godless heathens who were shot up that day. [[PROTIP]]: They all fucking deserved it.

Until, of course, you point out to them that no one asked Cassie a goddamned thing and that the question was really directed at another girl, Valeen Schnurr (who lived through the massacre, but didn't get the credit due to her incredibly stupid-sounding name). Survivors are nowhere near as marketable as corpses.

==JO MAMMA!==
Eric Harris, when he wasn't building bombs or fucking his boyfriend or dreaming up new ways to kill people over IRC with Osama Bin Ladin, had a number of web pages, where he pioneered the [[anti-joke]], mirrored [http://acolumbinesite.com/eric/mama.html here].

Prime selections:

''JO mamma's kitchen lights are SO bright that you can see grease, dust, or any other bad thing in need of seeing.....JJJEEAAAA!!!!!!!!!

''JO mamma sees so many stray dogs in her neighborhood that she talks the humans society a lot.....JJJEAAAAA''

''Jo mamma likes cheesecake so much that she makes a pretty good one herself!....whenever she wants!......one......JEEEYAAAAA!!!''

''Jo mamma has said the word carrot so many times, that she is very good at pronouncing it! JEEEEYAAAAA!!!''''

Insults done by REB, VoDkA, and KiBBz (a friend of theirs IRL).

Badass.

==OMG there's an RPG!!!==
Released on the anniversary of the Columbine Massacre in [[2005]], [[Super Columbine Massacre RPG]] was an instant Internet success, causing epic levels of butthurt and win. The game can be found [http://www.columbinegame.com/ here].

{{main|Super Columbine Massacre RPG}}

==Fun ways to troll Columbine survivors==
[[File:Natural Born Pranksters.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Natural Born Pranksters]]
Go ahead. It's as easy as 1-2-3!

*1.) Look up the Columbine survivors (their names are listed all over the net)
*2.) Log onto Facebook
*3.) Type one of the survivor's names in the Facebook search bar
*4.) If you find that one of the supposed survivors has an existing account, make sure it is the exact person
*5.) Send them a message explaining how "sorry" you are for their experience
*???) Wait for a genuine reply
*PROFIT!) After they have replied, send them a link to this page :)

BONUS ROUND!!1 - If they reply to you (and don't block and ghost you) take screencaps of it and put them below this sentence!

== Videos ==

{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|RYTP|background-color: #4D0909;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>8kBuLYYdn1w</youtube> <center>'''Victim's Dad feeds the trolls'''</center>
|<youtube>dtKV8Z7-oPg</youtube> <center>'''Columbine:Reloaded (UNFINISHED TEST)'''</center>
|<youtube>F6BxyVy2XJc</youtube> <center>'''[[Pokemon]] remix'''</center>
|<youtube>a4K8YE1ZatU</youtube> <center>'''Another one</center>
|<youtube>kDUF8AnuqcM</youtube> <center>'''[[SpongeBob|ColumBob]]'''</center>
|<youtube>aXAaijf-1JU</youtube> <center>'''ERIC HARRIS STRIKES BACK'''</center>
|<youtube>Fq1V4jHOePU</youtube> <center>'''Columbine REMIX'''</center>
|<youtube>sx8UegbfkVQ</youtube> <center>'''Lost Basement Tapes recovered'''</center>
|<youtube>10kpjp05IkA</youtube> <center>'''Columbine Ref's in [[Eminem]]'s Music'''</center>
|<youtube>uNsW4OkKOm4</youtube> <center>'''Columbine [[Doom]] .wad'''</center>}}|border=#FF4000|background=#FF4000}}
|}

== The basement tapes ==
So far only two out of five tapes were officially released to the public, the other three are claimed to be [http://www.westword.com/news/columbine-killers-basement-tapes-destroyed-6283043 destroyed] because of fear of potential [[Columbine Copycats|copycat]] violence in [[teenager|teenaged]] white kids. Though, the [https://schoolshooters.info/sites/default/files/columbine_basement_tapes_1.0.pdf transcripts] do exist.
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|
|<youtube>su_vpW3mM5w</youtube> <center>'''Hitmen For Hire - tape 01'''</center>
|<youtube>nRM2Hy3-PhU</youtube> <center>'''Shooting Range - tape 02'''</center>
|}



==Gallery==
{{notice|For a comprehensive gallery, please refer to [[Columbine Gallery]]. Please keep only the best pictures below. Otherwise, put your pictures on the [[Columbine Gallery]] page.}}

{{cg|'''Columbine Cartography'''|COLgall|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Columbine-meme-generator-hate-school-so-much-you-die-there-f65d90.jpg|School sucks!!!
File:Hitmenforhire.png|Hitman for hire.
File:Columbinedoom.jpg|Definitive proof video games cause violence
File:High+school wii collumbine.jpg|The musical.
File:MassacreTime.jpg|COMMIT MASS MURDER!
File:Columbine gta.jpg|GTA:Littleton
File:Schoolraider3.jpg|School Raider
File:Columbineinternet.jpg|We are from teh intarwebz.
File:Ericharrisyugioh.png|As a Yugioh card
File:42099shrooms.jpg|Impressive fanart, made on shrooms
File:Hitman.gif|Hitman: Silent Assassin.
File:Columbinego.png|Columbine: GO
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Columbinewasted.jpg|WASTED
File:Chs1999lulz.jpg|Jaguars WTF guy
File:Gayevidence2.jpg|More evidence they were fags
File:Shootupyourschool.jpg|Generic white male
File:Natural38433843.jpg|$420.99
File:Bike.gif|What are you doing to my sister's bike?!
File:Columbineinanutshell.jpg|Columbine in a nutshell
File:Killersdiary.png|Gay secret that made them kill
File:Wrathnaturalselection.png|NBK
File:Columbinelegacy.jpg|Legacy of Columbine
File:Columbinehighschool.jpg|Columbine High School, 2016
File:Whitecaps.png|A jock with a white hat
File:Columbinecrosses.jpg|Crosses for the victims. All fifteen of them.
File:Classof1999.jpg|Class of 1999
File:Wimpykid.jpg|Diary of a Wimpy Kid
File:Columbine army of two.png|Army of Two
File:Tec9.jpg|The true culprit!
File:Radiationclothings.gif|Radioactive clothing.
</gallery>|}}

==See also==

'''Influenced by:'''

* [[Charles Manson]] - Wrote an essay about him
* [[Timothy McVeigh]] - Wanted to surpass him but failed
* [[Doom]] & [[Eminem]] - Brainwashed by these to [[Postal|go postal.]]

'''Inspired to follow their lead:'''

*[[Columbine Copycats]] - For a detailed list, please check out this page.

*[[Vladislav Roslyakov]] - Tried to copy Columbine, [[win|and actually succeeded]].
*[[Ryan Schallenberger]] - Also tried to copy Columbine, [[fail|but failed]].
*[[Cho Seung-Hui]] of the [[Virginia Tech shootings massacre]] - Mentions their names in his manifesto.
*[[Adam Lanza]] - Was obsessed with columbine before his shooting spree.
*[[TJ Lane]] - Wore a "KILLER" T-shirt to mimic the "WRATH" and "Natural Selection" T-shirts worn by them.
*[[Pekka-Eric Auvinen]] - Plagiarized their dairies in his manifesto.
*[[Jeff Weise]] - Trenchcoat, same music, liked Columbine-based movies, nazi-philia, shooting threat on [[an_hero_day|4/20]], and also asked people if they believed in god.
*[[Chris Harper-Mercer]] - Like weise, also copycatted the "Do you believe in god" line.
*[[Kimveer Gill]] - Fanboi autist of Reb & VoDKa who managed to only [[Epic Fail|rack up 1 single kill]].
*[[Randy Robert Stair]] - Mentally ill tranny autist freak who became a [[Columbiner]] and wanted to go for the [[high score]] after learning about Columbine.
*[[Matthew Murray]] - Plagiarized Eric Harris constantly.
*[[Alex Hribal]] - Claimed to have been possessed by the spirits of Reb & VoD and forced to carry out an attack.
*[[Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath]] - Along with two other fags, attempted to copycat columbine but got arrested b4 the plan kicked off.
*[[Lynn Ann]] - The most dedicated fangirl in lolumbiner history.
*[[William Atchison]] - Tried to emulate his two heroes, [[lmao|but failed miserably]].
'''Other'''

*[[Super Columbine Massacre RPG]] - Game inspired by the incident
*[[School Shooter: North American Tour 2012]] - Another game inspired by the incident
*[[Defense Industries Organization]]
*[[Dillon Cossey]]
*[[Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting]]
*[[Mark Essex]]
*[[Murder]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[ZDaemon]]
*[[Natural_Selection_game|''Natural Selection'' (game)]]
*[[Patrick Purdy]]
*[[Thomas Watt Hamilton]] - UK's version of Eric Harris
*[[Sandy Hook]]
*[[Salvador Ramos]] - [[Tranny]] [[spic]] who shot up a school in [[Texas]]

==External links==
[[File:Sincecolumbine.jpg|thumb|right]]

===Play at home versions===
Try for the high score with these games!
*[http://www.acolumbinesite.com/eric/doom.html Eric's ''Doom'' WADs] (said to be srsly [[lame]] but bloody) and some ''Quake'' stuff (only the readmes thar, awww, noes!)
* [http://www.columbinegame.com/index.htm Super Columbine massacre RPG]: The Disclaimer says this game is intended to deepen the understanding of the shooting and its possible causes but we know this game was actually made [[lulz|for the LULZ]]!
*[[Lulzy Mods#Columbine Simulation|Columbine Reinactment Mod]] - Got GMOD? Load this into the game and go apeshit!

===Relics===
Old shit from the 90s and early 2000s

*[http://www.asecular.com/trenchcoat/ Columbine Parody Site]{{Archive|QX4US}} - tricked lots of retarded boomers back in the day.

===Info pages / resources===
*[[Amazon]] supports this [http://www.acolumbinesite.com/ Exploitation site] - Site has some good media, a lot of [[Whine|whining]], and more [[lies|disinformation]].
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8yM_WKDZsKD0lJ_BzwpflQ The most comprehensive video gallery relating to lolumbine yet!]
*[http://www.members.tripod.com/~VanessaWest/columbine-4.html An incredibly detailed page on the whole thing from start to finish with a detailed timeline, reports, evidence, and media. Seriously, this woman has way too much free time.]
*[http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f237/columbine-victims-death-crime-scene-pictures-37271/ Columbine Victim's Death & Crime Scene Pictures]
*[http://community.livejournal.com/rebandvodka/ LOL fanbois]
*[http://incogman.net/2009/04/columbine-10-years-of-jew-media-lies/ Proof Jews did Columbine]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0356561/ First and best movie treatment so far.]
*[https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/btf4y/iama_former_student_of_columbine_high_school_ama/ AMA from a Lolumbine Student]
*[https://www.reddit.com/comments/gulaf/iama_columbine_survivor_named_brooks_brown_i_was/ AMA from Brooks Brown, former BFF of Dylan IRL]
*[https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B-FhGN3q1_lYcWw1N243TjdiZEU Columbine 1999 Yearbook]

===Old news articles===

*{{Archive|Q8dNB|Goth-fashion crackdown seen by some as fascism}}
*[http://extras.denverpost.com/news/shotarch1.htm Denver Post articles from July 1 1999 to Nov 30 2000]
*[http://extras.denverpost.com/news/shotmain.htm Denver Post articles from Dec 1 2000 to April 7 2001]

===Modern news articles===
*[http://www.cannabisculture.com/content/2009/04/20/taking-back-420-richard-castaldo-ten-years-after-columbine Taking Back 4/20: Richard Castaldo Ten Years After Columbine]

{{Columbine}}
{{education}}
{{Goth}}
{{High Scores}}
{{gun control}}
{{anheroes}}
{{Lulzhistory}}
{{Jewseries}}
 

{{Timeline|Featured article April 20, [[2009]]|[[Manhunt]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Manhunt]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article April 20, & 21, [[2025]]|[[4Chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Timothy McVeigh]]}}

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Columbine]]
[[Category:Crime]]
[[Category:Suicide]]
[[Category:1999]]

Adam Lanza

2025-10-16T14:40:18Z

DOOMERBOY1999: /* Informative */

{{notice|''[[You]] may have been looking for [[Sandy Hook]]''}}
{{Spoilers|[[Adam_Lanza#Encyclopedia_Dramatica|Adam Fucking Lanza used to browse Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}} 
{{an hero}} 
{{aspie}} 
{{pedo}} 
{{ib|[[File:Adamlanza6555.jpg|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Adam Peter Lanza'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|April 22, 1992}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|December 14, 2012 (aged 20)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 27, injured 2}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|{{highscorelist}}}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS single player, easy mode}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive:'''|[[Autism]]}}
{{Ibend}}

It was a cool, misty morning in a peaceful small town, when our [[an hero|hero]], '''Adam Peter Lanza'''{{Boylover}} (Aliases: ''Kaynbred'', ''Smiggles'', [[Pedobear]], ''Blarvink'', ''CulturalPhilistine'', ''fuckcomments'') would embark on his journey to get the [[High Score]] and [[pwn|destroy]] the lives of 20 little kids and 7 degenerate whores (including his mommy) and go down in history as the most efficient [[Mass Murder|rampage killer]] of modern times. His [[Caucasian]] [[chimpout]] would prove to be one of the greatest examples of [[IRL Trolling]] in decades, and serve as direct evidence that [[autistic]] people need to be persecuted- for the good of the whole. The aftermath of his social experiment resulted in a [[shitstorm]] of the intensity and lulz not seen since the year [[1999]] when fellow comedians, [[Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]], pulled off the epic prank that was [[Columbine]]. Before committing his act of evil, Adam made sure to destroy his hard drive and computer- ensuring the [[FBI]] never recover all of his fucked up [[Furry porn]] and [[CP]]. First and third party investigators would spend [[2012]]~[[2016]] digging up dirt on Adam. Such investigations revealed that he was a highly autistic pedophile obsessed with mass shootings. One would presume degenerates like him would be caught by the [[NSA]]- but since when was Uncle Sam ever good at his job?

== Background ==
{{Killers}}
[[File:Lanzabattlestation.jpg|thumb|right|His [[Battlestation]].]]
[[File:Sharkeyes.png|thumb|220px|right]]
[[File:Lanzagrinch.jpg|thumb|220px|right]]
[[File:SentientAssaultRifle.jpg|220px|thumb|right|The REAL perpetrator behind ALL of this!!!]]

Adam Peter Lanza shot out of his then [[old|32-year-old]] mother's vagina on April 22, 1992 in [[New Hampshire]], and moved to [[Connecticut|Cuntecticut]] in [[Windows 98|1998]] at the age of 5. In his early years, Adam was described as an [[Autism|extremely active child who did not sleep well, avoided touching, and had early communication problems]]. He was said to have "[[German|made up his own language]]".

Our future American Hero attended Sandy Hook Elementary School as a student and began to familiarize himself with the classrooms of which he would thrash over a decade later. During his years at the school, he constructed "[[Mein Kampf|The Big Book of Granny]]", a dramatic school project filled with images and narrative relating to [[Baby P|child murder]], [[Armin Meiwes|cannibalism]], and taxidermy. It was reported that Adam later tried to "[[lulz|sell]]" this [[fanfiction]] to classmates for 25 cents, which got him into big trouble with mommy.

For whatever-the-fuck reason, Nancy pulled her socially-crippled son out of Sandy Hook Elementary and transferred him to a [[Catholic]] school for the last quarter of 7th grade. He was reported to have "[[Heaven's Gate|become obsessed with religion]]".

In 2005, Adam was diagnosed with [[Asperger's Syndrome|Assburgers]], despite personally denying this later on. Also in this year he was placed on [[Homestuck|homebound]] status, and was not attending school at all, instead dicking around on [[MMORPG|MMORPGs]] and playing [[Pokémon]] in his secluded, dark, lonely bedroom with no friends.

The following year, Adam got off of his ass and claimed that he "wanted to return to school as a [[Faggot|typical high school student]]". The staff and faculty at Newtown High School had to "prep" each one of his classrooms because he was too much a fucking Sperg to cope with the specific disturbances seen at a typical high school, such as loud noises, touching doorknobs, and his inability to wear a pair of socks for longer than 30 minutes. His grades at Newtown High were nonetheless astounding, graduating with a GPA score of [[Nerd|3.89]].

After high school finished in 2010, Adam discontinued his tertiary education plans and became a full-blown [[basement-dweller]]. At this point in life, Adam was spending every waking moment in his dark bedroom ([[Vampire|which he had taped garbage bags over the windows to block out the sunlight]]) on his computer chatting to cyber-acquaintances about his fetish for weapons, [[Asexual|asexuality]], and his dream of riddling 6-year-olds with bullets. He cut off all communication with his daddy and bro (falsely accused gunman Ryan Lanza), and only communicated with his mommy via e-mail all the while sharing the same fucking house.

The video below represents a generic reaction to Adam Lanza / Sandy Hook.
 {{frame|<youtube>42WRotDK4xY</youtube>|margin=auto}} 
===Video Games===

A list of video-games Adam was most preoccupied with (and used to train himself to commit mass murder with) include:

*[[World of Warcraft]]
*Dynasty Tactics
*[[Roblox]]
*[[Kingdom Hearts]]
*[[9/11|The Two Towers]]
*[[Call of Duty|Call of Duty 2: Big Red One]]
*[[Call of Duty|Call of Duty: Finest Hour ]]
*[[Dead or Alive|Dead or Alive 3]]
*[[Halo]]
*[[Lego|Lego]] [[Star Wars]]
*Mech Assault
*Mercenaries
*[[Mario|Paper Mario]]

At the time of his An Heroism, Adam was 6ft tall and weighed 112 pounds, with a BMI of 15. [[Pro-Ana|He was living on a diet of vegetables and purified water]].

{{Clear}}

====Xbox 360====

Adam, or at least his brother, owned an original (or elite) Xbox 360 console, which he seldom played. His [https://account.xbox.com/en-US/Profile?gamerTag=Smiggles XBOX Live] account barely had any achievements unlocked, and was last used in January 2011. The only games he had achievements for were Skate 2 and Halo: Reach.

====PC Gaming====
[[File:Adam Lanza Computer.jpg|thumb|right|His puter]]
Adam was very intelligent and had extensive knowledge and experience with computers. When he was 12 years old (and what is this?) he hacked into the government's websites which got the [[FBI]] to [[Surprise buttsecks|pay him a little visit]]. '''{{archive|Ksda4}}''' Several years later, he saved up enough of mommy and daddy's money and built his own puter.

Adam Lanza is strongly suspected to have played World of Warcraft. A '''{{archive|6YO2M|post}}''' of his (using the alias Blarvink) dating back to May 3rd, 2011, describes how he played the game on-and-off since vanilla, but wasnt as autistic as [[Elliot Rodger]] or Breivik, and never hit lv 60+. Adam even spent hundreds of hours on a noob toon, just ERPing all day long in Stormwind. If you don't know what ERP is, consider yourself one lucky son of a bitch. Imagine if some sweaty nerd was horny and was sexting you up using a hot night elf bitch character, and it ends up to be a pedophillic mass shooter. Boner = killed. Unless you're into that kind of thing.. In which case, please seek a therapist at your immediate convenience. Despite being obviously autistic as fuck, Adam Lanza never got ''too'' addicted to mein-cwaft or any other huge mmoish games either.
 {{Notice|[[Adam Lanza/WoW|Click here for more information regarding Adam Lanza and WoW]]}} 
Adam also possibly had an account on [[GameFAQs]] [https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/community/Blarvink/] which he used from May 22nd, 2005 (4:10 PM) to July 18th, 2011 (8:31 PM), but this is yet to be entirely confirmed. Only one post currently exists on that account, dating to a [https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/562692-lego-island/52111627 thread] about LEGO Island.

=====PC Specs=====
The autist who wrote this article scanned through the police report footage of the Lanza residency and their videotapes of Lanza's room and computer and believes his specs to be:

#Corsair CMPSU-850HXUK HX 850W - Power Supply
#XFX Radeon HD 5870 (or 8870) - Graphics Card
#Decent CPU case (unidentified)
#Good Motherboard (unidentified)

== Online activities ==
Lanza had a moderate presence on the series of tubes, using the emails "cryinghampster@yahoo.com", "genericregistryemail@gmail.com" among others. Active during the 2000s until the months preceding his massacre, Adam was found to be highly intelligent (in comparison to most people) but unsurprisingly, very bizarre considering his severe mental illnesses. He had few friends and most of them viewed him with some suspicion, with one of them even stating Adam as "the weirdest person I ever knew online".

=== ShockedBeyondBelief ===

Adam Lanza starting posting to a Columbine forum in late 2009 (then known as columbinesupermassacrerpg.com), under the alias; ''Smiggles''. It was here that he earned his reputation as a pedophile, a place for his [[True and honest|sick and twisted]] fantasies to flourish. Most of Lanza's [[batshit insane]] posts generated significant [[lulz]] for the other depraved basement-dwellers who shared their own fantasies over pursuing the [[High Score]]. They hadn't seen anyone quite like "Smiggles" in their community, so they refrained from striking the [[banhammer]] on him, despite the fact that 90% of his posts would have caught the attention of the [[National Security Agency]]. [[And nothing of value was lost|He went AWOL from the forums in early 2012, and the site went offline two years later.]]

===Adam's SBB Quotes===
<center>
 {{frame|{{morphquote|morphquote|background-color: white; margin: auto;|font-weight: bold;

|Literature is simply another coping mechanism for children who’ve been mindfucked by culturapists. They’re carried to other worlds in the stream of semen.

|Deep shit, Adam.

|I'm still waiting for a mass shooter who eschews 9mm pistols and instead buys an AK-47 pistol, 30 30-round magazines, and 1000 hollow points....

|That could have been [[you]]...

|I castrated myself when I was 15 to rebel against society.

|Apparently Adam did not have a penis at the time that he shot up Sandy Hook Elementary.

|Therapists are secular priests who assert that they have some "truth", and if your values deviate, then you are "wrong". Hence, The Rapist. They impose their values onto you through their mindfucking.

|FUN FACT: Adam Lanza's psychiatrist was later charged with sexually assaulting his patients ([https://www.courant.com/2016/04/22/psychiatrist-who-treated-adam-lanza-charged-with-sexually-assaulting-patient/ source])

|You know what I hate?!? Culture. I've been pissed out of my mind all night thinking about it. I should have been born a chimp. I would even settle for a post-language hunter-gatherer society.

|Adam expresses his desire to identify as a chimpanzee.

|I hate going through these extremely rare instances of wild mood swings that I have. I think this was the only time this year for me. I was as depressed as I get during my last post, and I'm fine with the interminable depression that I normally have, but now I'm incoherently giddy with glee. Well, relative to my baseline... Except now that I'm giddy, I can't really say that I hate it because I think everything is delightful. If depressives cut themselves to feel better, I wonder what cutting a happy-go-lucker would do. Santa's supposed to be jolly. I hope he visits me tonight so I can find out.

|Adam Lanza really was the Grinch who stole Christmas...

|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}}} 
</center>
===On: Society, Civilization, Mass Murderers===
<center>
 {{frame|{{morphquote|morphquote|background-color: white; margin: auto;|font-weight: bold;

|American mass murders were less prevalent before Richard Speck precipitated their rise in 1966. My best estimate for the -absolute- minimum amount of mass murders in the US since 1966 is 960. I would be surprised if there weren’t a minimum of somewhere around 1500 in reality, but we’ll just vaguely say that there have been over 1000.

|Part 1

|If you were trying to measure alienation in a society, what could be a more blatant indication? And it’s glib to dismiss them as not being indicative of anything just because there have been over a thousand of them instead of over a hundred thousand, or however many you think are necessary, because mass murdering is so ridiculously over-the-top of a response that very few people are prone to do it under any circumstances.

|Part 2

|But just look at how many fans you can find for all different types of mass murderers ”not just the [Columbine killers]", and beyond these fans are countless more people who can sympathize with them; and beyond these are millions more who never think of relating the circumstances of their lives to anyone else but instead just go through the motions of life incessantly dissatisfied with their environment. Thinking of this society as the default state of existence is the reason why you think that humans would be “not well” for “no reason whatsoever”.

|Part 3

|Civilization has not been present for 99% of the existence of hominids, and the only way that it’s ever sustained is by indoctrinating each new child for years on end. The “wellness” that you speak of is solely defined by a child’s submission to this process and their subsequent capacity to propagate civilization themselves.

|Part 4

|When civilization exists in a form where all forms of alienation (among many other things) are rampant, as can be seen in the most recent incarnation within the last fifty years which AS55 talked about, new children will end up “not well” in all sorts of ways.

|Part 5

|You don’t even have to touch a topic as cryptic as mass murder to see an indication of this: you can look at a single symptom as egregious as the proliferation of antidepressants. And look in your own life. You’ve said that you’re afflicted by unrelenting anxiety and that you’re afraid to leave your house. Do you really think that the way you feel is not symptomatic of anything other than your own inexplicable defectiveness?

|Part 6

|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}}} 
</center>
=== SBB: Columbine Dream ===
{{Notice|[[Adam Lanza/Dream|Click here to read his dream.]]}}

=== SBB: Other Posts ===

{{Notice|[[Adam Lanza/SBB|Click here for his posts on ShockedBeyondBelief.]]}}

=== YouTube ===

In September of 2021, 9 fucking years after this autist committed the [[Sandy Hook|lulziest act of 2012]], a bunch of [[Columbiners|intellectually disabled mass murderer fangirls]] stumbled upon Adam’s YouTube channel, CulturalPhilistine.

This channel contains SIX FUCKING HOURS of audio where this autist fights with his comment section, complains about not getting views, completes online quizzes, and bitches about life 24/7. When he’s not contemplating antinatalist ape theory or sperging about his desire to die, he’s going on long rants about how pedophiles are oppressed - but he’s totally not one cough cough cough. He basically flat out states his retarded motive: he’s saving the children from “civilization” by obliterating them with his Bushmaster. He also wants to [[An Hero|kill himself]], presumably because living in a world where autistic pedophiles like himself aren’t allowed to diddle children is a world that he can’t stand to live in.

Somehow, the [[FBI|feds]] were so retarded that a bunch of mass shooter fangirls did better investigative work than they did - to find more content of their murderous pedophile twink husband, of course.

Of course, no [[Old media|mass media]] has covered this, because the feds would rather give fuel to retards who deny the greatest autistic meltdown ever than admit that they fucked up their investigation.

The channel was baleeted almost IMMEDIATELY after its discovery, however enough time was allowed for a full archive to have been made.

=== Wikipedia ===

Adam Lanza made '''{{wpcl|Blarvink|a}}''' '''{{wpcl|Kaynbred|few}}''' '''{{wpcl|KnaveSmig|edits}}''' to [[Wikipedia]] starting in late 2009; ending in early 2010, this time using the aliases, ''Blarvink'', ''Kaynbred'', and ''KnaveSmig''. Obviously, he made edits to articles about mass murderers and [[An Hero|An Heroes]], in a desperate attempt to show off his superior knowledge of the madmen who inspired him to win the Golden iPod. He made changes to pages on the following subjects:

*[[George Sodini]]
*[[Kimveer Gill]]
*[[Loser|Robert Arthur Hawkins]]
*[[Luby's massacre]]
*[[Loser|Larry Gene Ashbrook]]
*[[Kip Kinkel]]
*[[Shit no one cares about|Sello Mall shooting]]
*[[Stalker|Richard Farley]]

====KnaveSmig====
[[File:Adam Lanza Hark Wikipedia 2012.png|thumb|right|The data he transmitted to the user.]]
[[File:Adamlanzasteam.png|thumb|right|His steam, as viewed by a friend]]
[[File:Mg14c.jpeg|thumb|right|Snapshot of his clan's shoutbox]]
Like 99% of PC gamers, Adam owned a '''{{steam|76561197996080012|Steam account}}'''
Over 4 years after his massacre, investigators have [https://sandyhooklighthouse.wordpress.com/2017/02/19/knavesmig-on-wikipedia/ found]'''{{archive|3CHjI}}''' '''{{wpcl|KnaveSmig|another}}''' Wikipedia account he possessed. He used this wingman account to promote his mass shooting leaderboards to a user called Lord Gøn. He introduced himself as an autist who sperged over mass shooters. He describes how he began to compile a list of all the mass murderers in history, at the start of [[2010]], when he would be 17-18 years old. He then spams several links to [[Rapidshare]] which contain his mass shooting list, named "SSS-migpack" and "SSSmigglist" (Smiggles list). Sadly, Rapidshare closed down on March 31st, 2015, meaning that this data is lost forever!.

A year later, and Gon responded back to him:

<code>Hey KnaveSmig, I hope you are still alive. Sorry for not answering, but until now I really couldn’t be bothered to do so. Bad me, I know. I also didn’t save your list, and it ain’t available on rapidshare anymore, so if you should ever read this would you upload it again and leave me a note here? Thankee. 23:35, 7 April 2013 (UTC))</code>

After Gon discovered that he was in contact (albeit brief) with Adam Lanza, he '''{{archive|h37wk|Reached out}}''' to an administrator about the news, typing:

<code>Good morrning,

I’m not sure, if this is actually the right place for my request, but since CheckUser access is necessary to answer my question, and you apparently have just that, I suppose I could do worse than to try my luck here.

The situation is the following: For several years I have edited mass murder-related articles on Wikipedia, and created amongst others the List of rampage killers. On June 20, 2012 a user named KnaveSmig posted at my talk page, offering me to download an Excel-file supposedly containing his own compilation of mass murderers, as well as 16 hours of songs related to the subject. At the time I was unsure how to deal with this, on the one hand being curious about the possibly salvageable information, on the other hand being suspicious about downloading unrequested material from an unknown person and risking an infection of my computer with malware. In the end my suspicious side prevailed and I ignored the files, though contemplated for a while to write a reply to explain myself. Considering the matter not that important I delayed writing said reply until I came to the conclusion that too much time had passed to invest any effort in something the addressed person may not even read, after all KnaveSmig left no indication that he ever came back to Wikipedia.

Then the Sandy Hook shooting happened, and when information was published in the media that Adam Lanza had a pronounced interest in mass murder and created a spreadsheet listing historic mass murderers I already had a bad feeling in my guts. But then, during my studies of mass murders I have come across several people who have compiled similar lists, and there are probably a lot of others who do the same in less public places than the internet, so I composed myself thinking that this was just a coincidence, and there’s probably no connection between KnaveSmig and Adam Lanza. Then information surfaced that Lanza had a Wikipedia account and edited several articles a couple of years earlier under a different name. I waited for the media to announce that Lanza had also used the alias KnaveSmig, but this never happened, and so I assumed my suspicions were probably unfounded.

It remained that way, until recent reports stated that Lanza had also posted at a forum dedicated to the Columbine massacre around the same time he had left the note on my talk page. The pseudonym he used there was Smiggles. And since the writing style of Smiggles is comparable to KnaveSmig’s my suspicions are revived that the two may be the same person.

So, to cut a long story short, would it be possible for you to check if KnaveSmig’s IP address is located in Connecticut, maybe even the Newtown area, and thus confirm or refute my suspicion that I have been contacted by Adam Lanza a mere six months before the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary? This question is haunting me for about a year now, and I’d really like to get some closure on that one. Thank you. (Lord Gøn (talk) 13:06, 21 January 2014 (UTC))</code>

===Encyclopedia Dramatica===
[[File:ZOMG ADAM PENIS LANZA.png|thumb|[https://web.archive.org/web/20150506104005/https://encyclopediadramatica.se/index.php?title=Aurora_Theatre_Shooting&offset=20120806190348&action=history HE EDITED THE AURORA PAGE BACK IN 2012!!!11] Like [[James Holmes]], Adam would have an AR-15, a shotty, and two pistols in his arsenal. [[NO|COINCIDENCE???]]]]
[[File:Adam Lanza Possible ED Account.jpg|thumb]]
Aside from editing the other wiki, Adumb would also browse [[Final Boss of the Internet|ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA]] during the glorious .com golden era. [[Some argue|Legends say]] he had an account on here during the [[.se]] regime, and went by the fitting name of "[[user:ChildRapistOhChrist|ChildRapistOhChrist]]", whose user page and talk page were last edited just months before [[Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre|all hell broke loose in Newtown]]...

While this information cannot be confirmed, what can be confirmed is that he bookmarked the following pages:
* [[Bloodninja/logs]]
* [[Girugamesh]]
* [[Offended]]
* [[Sergio Pelico]]
* [[Cyrillic Millions Sign]]
* [[LOL WUT/ASCII]]
* [[My Immortal]]
* [[Pear Chan]]
* [[:Image:Sickfurryshoop.jpg]]
* [[Dynamic Entry]]
* [[Bayeux Tapestry]]
* [[E-Psychiatrist]]
* <s>[[:Image:DONT FAP TO THIS.jpg]]</s> - [[OhInternet|Died in the purge]]
* [[The Kazantzakis Guide to Article Building]]
* [[DSFARGEG]]
* [[Dissected-chan]]
* [[Web 2.0]]
* [[Yahoo! Answers]]
* [[:Image:Korean War.gif]]
[https://www.mediafire.com/folder/0ixtq84a5fe88/Adam_Lanza_Bookmarks Source :3]

At the very least, this means that Adam Lanza can be added to the long list of murderers associated with ED, including but not limited to: [[Luka Magnotta]], [[High_Score/Loserinfo#Mauricio_Martinez_Garcia|Mauricio Garcia]], [[Anderson Lee Aldrich]], and of course [[William Atchison|Couchfag]].

Additional infos provided by web [[Sluts|sleuths]]:
*{{archive|YYHtT|Is there any information that proves that the user "ChildRapistOhChrist" is Adam Lanza?}}
*{{archive|6fUDv|Did he ever use Encyclopedia Dramatica?}}

===[[Steam]]===
[https://sandyhooklighthouse.wordpress.com/2014/04/13/adam-lanzas-steam-account-found/] which he used to presumably play [[Counter-Strike]] all day, since that's the game 99.1% of skool shooters play all day, and the game that brainwashes them to commit mass murder. Sadly, the profile is private <s>so we'll never know what details lie within</s>I had my friend who works in [[Valve]] scan his profile and screencap it; the pic to the right is his 100% genuine account. His account is believed to date as far back as [[2008]], and he used the alias "[[Pedobear]]". Adam Lanza's IPs were recorded as 24.151.69.37 and 24.151.57.138.

===[[Tumblr]]===
It is of no surprise that a mentally ill, sexually confused freak would be a tumblr user. Adam Lanza owned the blogs "[[Tim Kretschmer|gayfortimk]]" and "[[Kimveer Gill|queerforkimveer]]" where he presumably blogged about mass murderers and fantasized about them. A month before his massacre, Adam deleted his dumblr blogs. Much of the information is lost forever. However, it is known that he blogged about his columbine erotic fanfics and dreams. He also shared massive amounts of gore and crime evidence. He compiled and shared massive and detailed information regarding to school shootings, such as compilations of references to school shootings in media such as music or movies. As usual with almost every school shooter ever, this faggot had a huge hard-on for the columbine shooters. Particularly, he had an obsessive crush with the jewish mongroloid Dylan Klebold.

===MG14C Clan===

mg14c was a clan in [[Combat Arms]]<s>[http://combatarms.nexon.net/ClansRankings/ClanProfile.aspx?clan=MG14c]</s> (dead) that Adam was in around [[2009]]. They were relatively notable but mostly small, but did have their own site. They often specialized in pistols-only gameplay (one of the best pistol-only clans of all time), and kayn was considered a skilled and likeable member of the clan. He was somewhat active{{wayback|http:/mg14c.net/mg14c-members-please-read-t16.html|20091202055517}} but mostly posted in random bursts, separated by up to a few months. [https://sandyhooklighthouse.wordpress.com/2013/08/21/adam-lanzas-posts-from-the-archivedd-mg14c-clan-forum/] He deleted all of his posts around December 19th, with only a few pieces of this data still surviving to this day. He sometimes popped up in the clan's shoutbox - even as late as February [[2010]]. In the months following Sandy Hook, the MG14C connection was discovered - and the {{wayback|http://mg14c.net/portal.php|20100206035841|title=shoutbox}} was flooded with creepy admirers and trolls - sadly, the shoutbox is down and no modern data on it exists anymore. One of the trolls posed as '''MI6OnDuty''' (clan leader?) and fucked with the brain of one of the fangirls, making her think he was the legit one. The troll also posed as adam lanza's ghost and flooded the chatbox with harassing and alarming messages- [[for the lulz]], of course.

{{Clear}}

== Family ==
[[File:Schoolraider2.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[File:Gun boy.jpg|thumb|right|Rare picture of Adam Lanza, aged 19]]
=== [[Your mom|Nancy Lanza]] ===

The mother of Adam Lanza, who never bothered to raise her son like a normal child and allowed him to sit on his ass in his room 24/7 and rot in loneliness with unrestricted access to an arsenal of firearms. She was Adam's first victim, and rightfully so.

=== [[Your dad|Peter Lanza]] ===

The father of Adam Lanza. He divorced from Nancy when Adam was 10 years old, and spent the next decade trying to [[Pedo|get close with his son]]. Adam ignored him, and hadn't seen him face-to-face for two years prior to the Sandy Hook shootings.

=== [[Brother|Ryan Lanza]] ===

Adam's older, and less insane brother. Ryan moved to [[New York]] after graduating from university in 2008, where he worked at Ernst & Young in [[New York|Times Square]]. The police were so fucking retarded that they falsely arrested Ryan after confusing him for his brother Adam on the day of the shootings, all because Adam was [[Wut|carrying Ryan's ID]] with him. Unsurprisingly, every conspiracy theorist thinks Adam was a photoshopped version of Ryan.

He has a [[Twitter]] account, '''{{twitter|ryanlanza_|send him some love}}'''.

=== Friends ===

<s>lol Adam Lanza had no fucking friends.</s> Wrong; throughout the span of his life, he managed to amass '''1''' entire friend! Growing up as a child, [[You|he pretty much had no friends.]] He was part of the Tech club and even had some of them visit his house, but only once. It is rather likely that he crept the fuck out of those kids, so they probably avoided him. In the last few years of his pathetic existence, he drove to the theater to play [[DDR]] (to train himself to kill as video games [[Jack Thompson|train you to kill]]) on a consistent basis; enough to get nicknamed "The DDR Guy" by the locals. An acquaintance who befriended him in [[2011]], later described to the pigs in blue (post massacre) "Emotion wasn't something expressed in particularly verbose or grandiose fashion but it was expressed. He was capable of laughing, smiling and making jokes though always in a dry fashion." This guy was his only friend, and they would go to the theater to watch movies or play video games together. They would discuss numerous subjects, such as [[Nigger|chimp]] [[Detroit|society]], [[Techno]] music, Mass murder / murder sprees, joining the military, furry porn, child porn, bomb making tips, [[GamerGate]], and other deplorable shit.

This random theater guy didn't suspect Lanza to be a ''potential'' danger to society, despite all of the ''macabre'' subjects that interested him. He described Lanza as very [[Nihilism|nihilistic]], with a bleak and fatalistic outlook on [[Life]]. He explained how Adam Lanza would disappear from the theater for weeks on end, only to show up later and bitch about how he was going through existential crisis-es. He also learned how Lanza liked to reformat his hard drives all the time, probably to get rid of his massive [[CP]] and [[Furry porn]] collections.

They also discussed [[Pedophilia]]; Adam admitted his opinions "would cause others to make snap judgments about him as an [[Pedophilia apologia|apologist]]." Unsurprisingly, Adam eventually chimped out at the theater guy, presumably after a heated (and autistic) debate over [[Shit nobody cares about]]. Lanza was quoted as saying "that he should not expect him to participate in any more activities with him." The last sightings of Adam in that theater were in August~September [[2012]].

== Sandy Hooked ==
{{Notice|[[Sandy Hook|Click here for the main article, covering the Sandy Hook massacre]]}}
 
[[File:Adamlanzaxm15.jpg|200px|thumb|right|His IRL Banhammer]]

On the morning of December 14, 2012, Adam rocked the [[United States of America|USA]] with his rampage that claimed his mother, 20 children, and 6 staff members and then himself. He started by shooting his mommy in the head and chest 4 times as she was [[lazy|laying-in]] after getting back from her holiday in New Hampshire the day before.

He also [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|destroyed his hard-drive]] in an attempt to hide all premeditated evidence of his planning for the massacre from authorities (along with copious amounts of [[CP|Child Porn]].)

He then drove to his former elementary school and shot the glass panel next to the door, alerting the principal and numerous staff members, which he proceeded to shoot at without a second's thought. In the span of 5 minutes, Adam Lanza obliterated 20 kids and 6 female staff members in two separate classrooms. As police arrived at the scene, Adam [[Suicide|did what was best for him]] and would later earn himself his very own ED article nearly 3 years after the massacre.
{{clear}}
== Quotes ==
Other quotes from Adam or relating to him.

<center>
 {{frame|{{morphquote|morphquote|background-color: white; margin: auto;|font-weight: bold;
|There is something that I can assure you of that will always be true: it does not matter if you live for the next one year, five years, ten years, fifteen years, twenty years, thirty years, fifty years or even 100 years; the day before you die you will regret ever worrying about your life instead of thinking of what you want to do. Every new year that you do live, you will regret not having started anything that you wanted to do the year prior, only regretting the past more.
|16 year old Adam's motivational speech to his mommy

|Some primates smile when they are frightened.
|Adam Lanza, reassuring the doctor that facial expressions are bullshit.

|I just don’t think it would be such a stretch to say that he very well could have been a teenage mall shooter or something like that.
|Call to Anarchy Radio, 2011.

|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}}} 
</center>

== Videos ==
 {{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|RYTP|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>wLHCuzW3-uA</youtube>
;Adam's radio conversation
|<youtube>ItsOJUpK-cY</youtube>
;<nowiki>answer: CT real estate pricing</nowiki>
|<youtube>Kc5E0BtWjbE</youtube>
;[[TYT]] Turds weigh in
|<youtube>KU24i3Th27U</youtube>
;Douche puts his useless degree to work
|<youtube>42WRotDK4xY</youtube>
;Typical Reaction video
|<youtube>6c7b6qkfwu4</youtube>
;Another vid
|<youtube>Owwb3JTn3IQ</youtube>
;The Lanza house
|<youtube>HQcf_rTxl1Q</youtube>
;If your son was an autist you'd think the same eh?
|<youtube>ddyiMd3tdwE</youtube>
;lol old media
|<youtube>2vjiRSXhja0</youtube>
;More footage}}
|background=#DBD8CD}}
|}} 

== Gallery ==
*[https://imgur.com/a/a2pH2Wy Lanza family photos here] and [https://sandy-hook.info/photo-tag/shooter/ here]
===General===
 {{cg|'''Dedicated to Adam Lanza <3'''|generalanza|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:adamlanzaddr.gif
Image:adamlanzacomix.jpg
Image:lanzahide.jpg
Image:LanzaMoods.png
Image:Sandy Hook Elementary - One Of The Innocent Victims.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:lanzavsobama.jpg
Image:adamforlulz.jpg|[[Shit nobody cares about|That's RYAN LANZA, retards]]
Image:Lanza kids didnt have books so gave them magazines.jpg
Image:residentlanza.png|[[Resident Evil]] remake
Image:Board Shooters.jpg
Image:Adam lanza please think of the children.jpg
Image:Thenigotboredsandy.png|Adam isn't even sacred by R34
Image:Adam-lanzaPedoEnding.jpg|X2 and still a pedo
Image:adamchild.jpg
Image:lanzamcd.png
Image:lanzaX03.jpg
Image:lanzaX05.jpg
Image:lanzaX07.jpg
Image:lanzaX09.jpg
Image:lanzaX11.jpg
Image:lanzaX19.jpg
Image:lanzaX02.png
Image:lanzaX04.png
Image:lanzaX06.png
Image:lanzaX08.png
Image:lanzaX10.png
Image:lanzaX12.png
Image:lanzaX18.png
Image:lanzaX14.png
Image:lanzaX13.png
Image:lanzaX15.png
Image:MoreLanzaFanart.jpg
Image:lanzaX17.png
Image:sandyhoaxed.jpg
Image:adamlanza6555.jpg
Image:adamlanza2005.jpg
Image:adamlanzameme003.jpg
Image:adamlanzabutthurt.jpg
File:Adamlanza15minutes.png
Image:adamlanzakillstreak.jpg
Image:adamlanzaguns.jpg
Image:adamlanzalsd.jpg
Image:adamlanzamemorial.jpg
Image:adamlanzamotivation.jpg
Image:adamlanzaanalrape.jpg
Image:adamsh0t.jpg
Image:adamlulza.jpg
Image:babylanza.jpg
Image:lanzapeteradam.jpg
Image:adamlanzaartwork.jpg
Image:lanzaNBK.jpg
Image:lanzaddr13.jpg
Image:lanzamonster.jpg
Image:lanzarape.png
Image:nosandyhookleftbehind.jpg
Image:sandyhooklineee.jpg
Image:wakeupsandyhook.jpg
Image:adamlanzakid.gif
Image:SwiftLanza.jpg
File:Adamlanzakit.jpg
</gallery>|}} 

===Evidence Lockup===
 {{cg|'''Troll Dust'''|evidence|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Lanzayt.jpg|Post from "Fuckcomments", an acc allegedly owned by Lanza.
File:Adamlanza.png|Quote from Adam
Image:adamlanza4channn.jpg|Alleged picture of Adam from a friend
Image:lanzaidcard.jpg|"Fake" ID card from when he was in HS
File:Adam lanza faggot.png|Police report on his Computer.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Hisnamewasryanlanza.jpg|Alleged post of his on 4chan
Image:lanzaX16.png|Weapon of his
File:Adam Lanza Gunman.JPG|This is believed to have been a photo of him in the last few months of his life.
File:Adam Lanza Semen Stream.png|"Semen Stream" nigga what
File:Adam Lanza IGN Account.png|Adam's ghost on the IGN forums
File:PedoLanza.jpg
</gallery>|}} 

== Graded Score ==

{{GradedScore|'''27'''| |19|27 killed, only 2 injured|18|spammed his AR like a psycho|20|The 2012 version of [[Columbine|Kawlimpin]], causing the same or even greater moral panic that went on thirteen years prior|20|Extremely efficient elimination!|104|S|A role model for all future school shooters}}

{{Wanted|4}}

== [[So Cash]] ==

Hey Children,

My name is Adam Lanza, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are ugly, retarded, hyper little shitheads who spend every second of their day drawing stupid ass pictures. You are everyone that will become bad in the world. Honestly, will any of you ever contribute to the world? I mean, I guess it's fun being savage little shit machines because of your own undeveloped brains, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than being a high schooler.

Don't be a stranger. Just let me shoot you with my best bullet. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of my own FPS clan, and member on my school's computer club. What games do you play, other than molest naked drawn Japanese people in the subway? I also used to get straight A's, before I dropped out, got my GED and went to College (I dropped out.. Shit was not SO cash). You are all underage b& who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my mom's corpse

== 2017 FBI Evidence Release ==
In October 2017, almost 5 years after the Sandy Hook Massacre, the FBI finally released some more details on the alien reptile false flag which revealed even more fucked up things about the shooter; stuff that anyone with a brain already figured out; such as that this freak had a sexual obsession with all these mass shooters, was a faggot and pedo, had several accounts (most investigators already pinned as his) amongst other [https://www.thedailybeast.com/adam-lanzas-terrifying-online-life-revealed-mass-shooting-spreadsheets-columbine-collages-and-murder-tumblrs juicy details.]

== See Also ==
[[File:Liberalgunview.jpg|thumb|right|How liberals viewed Sandy Hook.]]
*[[Sandy Hook]] - For the article on the Shooting its self
*[[Sandy Hook Promise]]
*[[Adam Lanza/SBB]] - His ShockedBeyondBelief posts
*[[Adam Lanza/Dream]] - His Columbine dream
*[[Jeff Weise]] - some injun school shooter
*[[James Holmes]] - 2012's 2nd best mass murderer
*[[Columbine]] - what Adam beat
*[[Autism]] - what he had and what caused him to kill
*[[Christmas]] - what Adam ruined
*[[Deceased Wikipedians#Kaynbred / Blarvink|Deceased Wikipedians § Kaynbred / Blarvink]]
*[[Charles Whitman's Tumor]]
*[[Salvador Ramos]] - 9½ years later, this [[tranny]] [[spic]] does the same shit to a school in [[Texas]]

== His Accounts & Posts ==
Below are links to his numerous accounts on the internet, along with data (Topics, Posts, etc) he contributed to it.

*<s>{{yt|c|UC5zGm_N3KdzC-KT6Fe6eA_Q|CulturalPhilistine}}</s> BALEETED!! ({{archiveorg|adam-lanza-archive-yt|Archive 1}}, [https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/folders/16Y6uQCWHUgbqXJ8P7rvisUmJHrLMDBwW Archive 2])
*'''{{wpcl|Blarvink}}''' - First Wikipedia account '''{{archive|IANHR}}'''
*'''{{wpcl|Kaynbred}}''' - Second Wikipedia account '''{{archive|yXbKO}}'''
*[https://www.dailymotion.com/GFTK - DailyMotion Account] '''{{archive|FdCXp}}'''
*'''{{steam|76561197996080012|Smiggles}}''' - $team account. Private profile: '''{{archive|V9oQS}}'''
*[https://www.thehighroad.org/index.php?threads/the-legality-of-the-cz-vz-61-skorpion-in-ct.480066/ Adam posting on a gun forum (Kaynbred)] '''{{archive|a1UA9}}'''
*[https://www.thehighroad.org/index.php?threads/modifying-select-fire-to-fully-automatic.471428/ Another post on the forum] '''{{archive|Ydfot}}'''
*'''{{archive|zCzZO|His account on Combat Arms}}'''
*{{wayback|http://mg14c.net/host-a-asian-week-t119.html|20100123182556|title=Posting on a Combat Arms forum (Kaynbred), also proof he was a weaboo}} '''{{archive|VOjnn}}'''
*{{wayback|http://mg14c.net/staying-alive-t121.html|20100127164308|title=A thread he created on the Combat Arms forum}} '''{{archive|LnHgr}}'''
*[https://www.glocktalk.com/members/kaynbred.119522/ His account on Glock Talk (now defunct)] '''{{archive|Hc3dF}}'''
*[https://www.glocktalk.com/threads/what-are-the-specs-of-your-home-desktop.1133371/ A posting on Glock Talk (Kaynbred)] '''{{archive|muiNq}}'''

===Schoolshooters.info Archives===
*[https://schoolshooters.info/sites/default/files/lanza_two_personal_messages_1.0.pdf Adam Lanza: Two Personal Messages]
*[https://schoolshooters.info/sites/default/files/lanza_anarchyradio_1.1.pdf Call to AnarchyRadio] - Transcript of his infamous call-in
*[https://schoolshooters.info/sites/default/files/lanza_posts_2.2.pdf Adam Lanza's "Shocked Beyond Belief" Posts]
*[https://schoolshooters.info/sites/default/files/lanza_complete_threads_2.0.pdf Adam Lanza on SBB: Complete Threads] - Over 1355 pages of evidence. Holy shit!

==External Links==
Data not created by him but relating to him will be listed below.

===Informative===
*'''{{wordpress|sandyhooklighthouse|Sandy Hook Lighthouse: Investigation blog, very informative}}''' '''{{archive|wGjIf}}'''
*[https://www.sandyhookfacts.com/ Sandy Hook <s>Analysis</s> (now Sandy Hook Facts) <s>Blog</s> Website relating to anything Sandy Hook] '''{{archive|mKIF5}}'''
*'''{{wordpress|adamlanzasmigglesfiles|Adam Lanza - Smiggles Files}}'''
*[https://sandyhooklighthouse.wordpress.com/2013/09/07/timeline-adam-lanzas-life-and-online-activity/ Timeline of Adam Lanza's Life] '''{{archive|P7ejG}}'''
*<s>[https://vimeo.com/196969556 Blowback of Misandry Victim Adam Lanza]</s> (dead) - a very informative and recommended hour long video created by Russ Lindquist.
*[https://murderpedia.org/male.L/l/lanza-adam.htm Murderpedia article on him] '''{{archive|dcJxH}}'''
*[https://sandy-hook.info/ site dedicated to the shooting and Adam lanza, has crime scene photos + photos of lanza]

===News / Misc===
*[https://www.thedailybeast.com/adam-lanzas-terrifying-online-life-revealed-mass-shooting-spreadsheets-columbine-collages-and-murder-tumblrs 2017 Updates] [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/26/us/adam-lanza-sandy-hook.html] [https://greensboro.com/news/us_world/fbi-evidence-shows-newtown-shooter-adam-lanza-had-sex-interest/article_c784d878-e5c3-52aa-bdb9-13ce3a6d19a8.html]
*[https://abcnews.go.com/US/disturbing-things-learned-today-sandy-hook-shooter-adam/story?id=27087140 More leaks] '''{{archive|94KvC}}'''
*[https://abcnews.go.com/US/sandy-hook-gunmans-father-wishes-son-born/story?id=22843084 His daddy wishes he wasn't born.] '''{{archive|4g4V1}}'''
*[https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/slideshow-adam-lanzas-path-to-the-sandy-hook-tragedy/ Path to insanity] '''{{archive|iws9C}}'''
*[https://www.nydailynews.com/2016/02/23/officials-confirm-2012-video-is-of-newtown-shooter-adam-lanza-playing-dance-dance-revolution/ DDR chimpout is confirmed by the pigs] '''{{archive|rcx55}}'''
*[https://www.nationalenquirer.com/photos/adam-lanza-sandy-hook-massacre-diaries-photos-secrets-files/ Sickness Slideshow] '''{{archive|6WLtx}}'''
*<s>[http://real-life-villains.fandom.com/wiki/Adam_Lanza Real Life Villain wiki page. LOL.]</s> (wiki dead) '''{{archive|UFwYc}}'''
*[https://www.newstimes.com/policereports/article/Former-Newtown-shooter-s-doctor-charged-with-7295601.php Newtown shooter’s former doctor faces sex charges]
 {{anheroes}}
{{Valve}}
{{High Scores}}
{{aspies}}
{{Psychopaths}}
{{Pedoseries}}
{{gun control}}
{{columbine}}
{{education}}
{{dyingalone}} 
{{timeline|Featured article December 14 & 15, [[2015]]|[[Hanukkah]]|{{PAGENAME}}|Egyptsearch}}

{{timeline|Featured article December 15, [[2024]]|[[Luigi Mangione]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Gravity Falls]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article May 6th and May 7th, [[2025]]|[[Underrepresentation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Charles Bishop]]}}

[[Category:Sandy Hook]]
[[Category:Crime]]
[[Category:2012]]