Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

Danganronpa

2024-06-29T15:59:11Z

ChessPiece99:

{{pics}}
{{potential}}
[[File:Twink degeneracy.jpg|thumb|One of the many minigames on offer.]]
'''Danganronpa''' (also known as '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2010''') is a game where you a play as a Normalfag by the name of '''Makoto Naegi'''  who got trapped inside a [[School|posh boarding school]] alongside his [[Lie|best friends]] and now they need to kill each other because [[WTF|some bear said so]]. <s> The ultimate goal of this game is to get along with each other in order to defeat big fat meanie bear known as ''Monokuma''</s>,The goal is to complete all 6 chapters, each one of them containing at least one murder (except for 6th chapter because developers run out of ideas by that point, not to mention the lack of people) that needs to be solved in order to advance further into a game. Now unless [[You|you're]] a goddamn [[retard]], you can already see that this is basically a poorly written [[Phoenix Wright]] [[game]] except with more unnecessary game mechanics and [[Animu archetypes|annoying anime tropes]]. Intended for [[weeaboo]] audiences, the game has attracted [[you|losers]] who have nothing better to do in their life, except to jerk off to their favorite anime characters, and then [[Dying alone|crying]] themselves to sleep when they see their favourite characters get killed. This game also got two sequels, '''Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2013''') and '''Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator Volume 3''') who are just as [[Shit|shitty]] if not, shittier then the original, and the one spin-off called '''Ultra Despair Girls''', which sounds like a feminist propaganda hell, but is actually the most offensive and sexist entry in the whole series.

==Who created this shit, how and why?==
[[File:Cocaine-use.jpg|thumb|The fuel needed to write this shit without wanting to commit [[suicide|seppuku]]]]
This game was developed by Spike Chunsoft, whom you might remember for doing those ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' fighting games you played on [[PS2]] as a kid. But the real mastermind behind all this shit is a man called '''Kazutaka Kodaka''', a child molester who despite being a hack writer, has somehow had 5 of his shitty stories be adapted into [[games]]. It is also worth mentioning that he'sone of the biggest [[Japan|japanese]] [[Trolling|video game trolls]] since he managed to [[pwned|pwn]] 33 fucking people in all three main games, thus [[Butthurt|pissing off]] a fuckton of weebs worldwide because their favourite characters got brutally murdered. He also likes teasing sequels that will never get made.
While the name may sound like a laundry detergent, Danganronpa is actually [[Japan|chink language]] for "Bullet Refute", as part of the gameplay has you shoot up court rooms. The original game was intended to be more gory and [[violent]], but the money hungry [[Jews]] at Spike Chunsoft knew that weeb fat girls on [[Twitter]] would one day obsess over this series, and so they made the blood pink to avoid censors, and so they could indoctrinate as many pre-teen losers as possible into their lord of the flies simulator.

The game was released in 2010 in Japan for the [[PSP]]. Since it was a Japan-only game, it never caught the eye of various people in the [[Jewnited States of Americunts|U.S. of A.]] until some [[Something Awful]] goon named "orenronen" made a "[[let's play]]" thread about the first game which caught the eyes of weeaboos seeing it as the second coming of [[Phoenix Wright]]. Eventually the game became so [[overrated|popular]] it got officially released for the Vita in English to the delight of weebs everywhere.

==Plot==
The plot centres around a bunch of teenage [[shota|shotas]] and [[loli|lolis]] raping each other in order to escape the high school from hell they're trapped in. Eventually the purging of the [[japan|chinks]] is halted so a blonde bimbo can be revealed to be behind the murder orgy. Once she is defeated through the power of friendship, the writers suck themselves off by having the remaining cast wet themselves over the "shocking twists", with such brilliant writing as "It was all a simulation, everything is fine." and "It was all fictional.".

The characters all have stereotypical anime backstories, including childhood friend love interest, rich asshole and being [[retarded]] but meaning well. Every single girl is [[rape|violated]] and shown in their underwear. Every guy is shown to be an asshole, become an asshole, or use to be an asshole, and now is a quiet [[homosexuality|freak]].

While the games were originally created just to satisfy the writers [[Sick fuck|fantasies]], overtime the developers learnt to hate their western fans. Danganronpa V3, the latest game, has characters and plotlines that parody and ridicule the western audience, and the ending itself was written to kill the franchise, as well as laugh at the fans for being invested in the characters. They also added new mascots and forced memes so they could make a killing off merchandise. The games were recently released as a collection on [[Switch]], [[Steam]], [[Apple|Mobile]] and [[Playstation]] with the vague promise of extra content just to milk more money from the retard fanbase.

==Gameplay==
Each chapter you click through a powerpoint of generic highschool classrooms wishing for death. Once you've spoken to the future rape victims you hate the least, one lucky individual is killed and gets their body proudly displayed in a serial killer death trap. This then forces you to find google images of possible murder weapons before entering a [[paedophile|McDonalds play area]] to discuss how the tranny was killed. You literally shoot down arguments with bullets engraved with the right slurs to trigger whichever [[retard]] dare challenge your intellect.

Future games changed barely anything due to the [[jews|corner cutting]] devs not wanting to actually have to work. Eventually you explore 3D areas with some of the worst map design and graphics known to man, as well as colour choices that would put [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure]] to shame for most [[faggot|gay jap creation]], giving us yet another reason why [[Hiroshima and Nagasaki|two bombs weren't enough]].

In-between making a fool of yourself in a virtual school, just like [[you]] do in real life, you are expected to socialize with the future breeding stock and [[zaiger|deadweights]] of the world. This forces you to deal with virtual novel text boxs with dialgoue you will neither remember nor care about. The best character is a girl whose only redeeming characteristic is having large breasts, who tells you her [[incest|uncle]] told her not to wear panties and she is genuinely too stupid to refuse to do anything she is told. Beyond her, no other character is worth paying attention to.

==Danganronpa==
[[File:dangan lgbt.jpeg|thumb|[[Oppression Olympics|Did you know that despite all the characters having Japanese names and taking place in Japan, every character is actually fat, queer, disabled, latino, black, or a combination of all of the above???]]]]
[[File:What we all want.jpg|thumb|The developers giving us players what we really want. This is official art lmao.]]

*'''[[Nu-male|Makoto Naegi]]''' - The protagonist of the first game who's literally just some dude with an ahoge. [[No|Way to get creative, Spike Chunsoft.]]
*'''[[Animegao|Sayaka Maizono]]''' - The [[jpop|idoru]] girl so irritatingly needy and "[[kawaii]]" that you'll piss yourself in happiness when she gets killed first.
*'''[[Scooby-Doo|Kyoko Kirigiri]]''' - Makoto's mystery solving "love interest" that barely wants anything to do with him. She is a walking plot device that hands everything regarding the murders to Makoto on a silver platter. [[Win|Makoto, Byakuya, and Yasuhiro get to gangbang Aoi if you kill off Kyoko in chapter 5]]. And yes, this is canon.
*'''[[Negress|Aoi Asahina]]''' - Ambiguously brown airhead with an IQ below 0 and big tits who exists to be fap fodder until the game ends. The artists gave her a tan and she was written to be quite stupid. This meant fans thought she was black, and fight about her race to this day.
*'''[[USI|Byakuya Togami]]''' - Your average [[EDiot]], thinking himself a brilliant intellectual whos not afraid to say whatever he wants. Everyone else is repulsed by him, and he gets beaten up by girls multiple times.
*'''[[Brittany Holechko|Celestia "Celeste" Ludenberg]]''' (also known as [[Powerword|Taeko Yasuhiro]]) - A massive [[Attention whore|attention whore]] who gambles because it's [[Lonely|all she has]]. Celeste pretends to be [[France|French]] but refuses to smell bad or [[incest|fuck her siblings]]. Is outed for being a filthy [[Japan|jap]] right before she is killed. [[Shit nobody cares about|Referred to as "Celes" in the anime]].
*'''[[Byuu|Chihiro Fujisaki]]''' - A [[trap|guy who pretends to be a gurl]], "buT iM NoT tRaNs i SwEaR!!!1!". Works with compooters, cries about everything, and is killed by a jock. Yeah, they're definitely a [[tranny]], and represent half of the fanbase. More useful after his death than 75% of the characters were when they were alive, including him.
*'''[[Basement Dweller|Hifumi Yamada]]''' - [[Christian Weston Chandler|Incredibly fat, disliked by every single character, is manipulated by Celeste to do her bidding just because she makes him wet]], and writes his own [[fan fiction]]. He represents the half of the fanbase that Chihiro doesn't, whether they like it or not.
*'''[[Reportfag|Kiyotaka Ishimaru]]''' - Possible [[Nazi]] who [[He does it for free|reports any activity he dislikes]]. Goes gay for Mondo after a ''very'' [[gay|''heterosexual'' bonding moment at the bathhouse]].
*'''[[Chad|Mondo Owada]]''' - The only cool person. Punches the faggy main character in the face, kills the tranny, works out regularly, is part of a biker gang, and killed his brother on his birthday. Proving that video games are the male fantasy.
*'''[[Fratboy|Leon Kuwata]]''' - [[douchebag|Douchey]] [[baseball]]fag who happened to be the first character made by the art team. They became so sick and tired of seeing his [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|fetal alcohol syndrome]] face that they made him the first killer.
*'''[[Leelah Alcorn|Sakura Ogami]]''' - A large muscle ogre-girl with a deep voice who keeps getting confused for a guy. [[Leelah Alcorn|Becomes part of the 42%]] after becoming [[an hero|an heroine]]. Yup, another tranny in the roster. Still better than the rest of the cast due to not acting like she has brain damage.
*'''[[Waluigis-girl|Toko Fukawa]]''' - Flat chested [[Multiple personality disorder|DID]] hoe who writes crappy romance novels despite being a [[wizardchan|kissless and hugless virgin]]. Lusts after the asshole [[yuppie]] Byakuya because getting treated like shit makes her panties wetter than the dead sea. [[Pixyteri|Canonically doesn't bathe]] and stinks so bad other girls avoid her. Another rep of the fanbase. Literally [[Jack the Ripper|a fucking serial killer]] but the plot ignores this in favor of a plotline about [[Hacker|1337 H4X0R]] Chihiro's AI that goes nowhere and [[fanservice]] of the underage characters.
*'''[[x/|Yasuhiro Hagakure]]''' - A [[conspiracy]] nutter who sadly isn't killed. Has a [[nigger]] hairstyle and is dumb as rocks but [[Srsly|a[pparently isn't black]], which is mind-boggling. Somehow makes it out of the school alive despite being more useless than the negress.
*'''[[Camwhore|Junko Enoshima]]''' - [[Blonde]] bimbo who gets [[pwn]]ed by Monokuma five minutes into the game but not really. Actually a [[schizo]] [[BPD]] hoe who set up the entire killing game [[I did it for the lulz|for the lulz]].
*'''[[Necrophilia|Mukuro Ikusaba]]''' - Some random pogue who disguises as Junko because she's actually her...sister? Twin? Who cares she's fucking [[dead]] lol.

==Danganronpa 2==
[[File:Nagito_kinny.jpg|thumb|How 2 be [[friendless]] forever]]

Oh boy they made a second one and it's even worse than the first. Ramp up the obnoxious personiality traits of the characters up to 11 without changing anything else and it's literally just the first game- same assets and all. This time they super wittily parody their own shitty writing choices from the first game. "Hahaha, memory loss is such a contrived plot point XD" they say before literally reusing the same unoriginal plot device.

*'''[[NORP|Hajime Hinata]]''' - The protagonist of the second game who's also just some plain dude with an ahoge. Wow, SC isn't even trying at this point...
*'''[[NPC|Chiaki Nanami]]''' - A [[mundane|boring and bland]] [[girl gamer]] that [[weeaboo|weeaboos]] still fap to nevertheless. In fact, there's an [[Sick fuck|actual scene of the game in which she's stripped in a bra and underwear.]]
*'''[[Twink|Nagito Komaeda]]''' - The designated whiny [[bishounen]] who babysits Hajime for the first part of the game and therefore is shipped relentlessly with Hajime. He has sexual fantasies of [[rape|raping]] Hajime's sweet ass pretty much every time he's on screen. Nagito has zillions of rabid [[Stans|fangirls]] known collectively as the "Komaeda Kinnies". Why does he have so many fangirls, again?
*'''[[Mr. Hands|Gundham Tanaka]]''' - [[Edgy]] [[Columbine|Trench Coat Mafia member]] who [[furry|molests]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|hamsters]] for a hobby and claims to be [[Brandon Crisp|the "Supreme Overlord of Ice"]]. [[School Shooting|Somehow doesn't shoot the rest of his classmates]] and [[win|even manages to fuck an]] [[Aryan]] princess.
*'''[[Incel|Kazuichi Soda]]''' - Covered in oil, [[autism|socially illiterate]] and a creep who admits he wants to "take apart women to see how they work". [[Simp]]s for Sonia despite her having less of a personality than the boring ass [[self insert]] main character. Basically every [[Anon|user]] of 4chan.
*'''[[KFC|Byakuya Togami]]''' - [[Fake and Gay|Same faggot as last time]], but now he's [[fat]] and [[cosplay]]s as Colonel Sanders. Turns out later he was just the sussy baka imposter who did a minimal amount of trolling. Gets killed at a feast with an oversized knife, a fate all fat fucks should share.
*'''[[Amy's Baking Company|Teruteru Hanamura]]''' - Same as the last retard but he's a [[bisexual]] [[manlet]] as well as fat. He is a very [[unfunny|charming and hilarious]] [[rapist|sex pervert]] who is basically Hifumi but 10 times more obnxious. His witty dialogue is comprised of 50% sex innuendos and 50% food puns. Thank the lord he's killed first chapter.
*'''[[Coprophagia|Nekomaru Nidai]]''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that there's nothing to say about him.
*'''[[Anita Sarkeesian|Mahiru Koizumi]]''' - Redhead [[Artist|art hoe]] who is always [[Feminism|complaining about men]].
*'''[[Boku no Pico|Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu]]''' - Crying [[shota]]bait who got a big titty gf to protect him. Supposed leader of the [[gangbang|yakuza]] but spends all game apologizing for being a fag.
*'''[[Bimbofication|Akane Owari]]''' - Only good character in the series. Big [[bewbs]], doesn't wear anything besides a short skirt and shirt, is too dumb to realise men take advantage of her, works out all the time, loves food, and doesn't mind being naked publicly. Perfect breeding material.
*'''[[White Nationalism|Sonia Nevermind]]''' - Boring [[Mary-Sue]] European princess. Basically spends the entire game being the dumb [[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|rich girl]] stereotype. "Oh my is that dust?! Have the coloured maid clear it away immediately!"
*'''[[Trolling IRL|Hiyoko Saionji]]''' - The ultimate [[jailbait]] [[loli]]. A [[pedobaiting|flat chested, short]], [[psychopath]] who rightfully bullies Mikan and Kazuichi for being the most annoying characters in the series. Becomes busty and bitchy when she gets older so [[party van|take advantage of her baby body while you still have the chance]].
*'''[[Cumslut|Mikan Tsumiki]]''' - Every fetish in the book. Nervous busty girl with no confidence who is always crying about something. She [[whore]]s herself out due to [[PTSD]] from getting [[bullied]] (rightfully so as she's fucking annoying). As walking fanservice, she wears a nurse outfit and is up-skirted constantly.
*'''[[Scenewhore|Ibuki Mioda]]''' - The personification of [[I'm so random|rawr XD, LOL random humor]] that ran rampant on [[Myspace]] in [[2006]]. She's [[Attention Whore|not like other girls]], she's "qUiRky aND pLAys GUItar omg sHE's jUst Like ME!!!!1!". In reality, she's a gimmick [[scene|scenegirl]] character who was killed when her usefulness had run dry. Fan girls still cry to this day and pretend she's a deep character.
*'''[[Slave|Peko Pekoyama]]''' - A slave who spent her whole life protecting men. Spends all day training and only speaks when asked. Big boobs and stays healthy. What all women should strive to be.

==Danganronpa V3==
*'''[[Mary Sue|Kaede Akamatsu]]''' - The character that gave [[otaku|otakus]] and [[feminist|feminazis]] alike 10 fucking orgasms once she was revealed, as they could now play as their very own [[fap]] material. But SHIT THEY JUST GOT PRANKED [[shit no one cares about|cuz she gets pwned in the first fucking chapter of the game.]] Boring protagonist .
*'''[[Emo|Shuchi Saihara]]''' - The true protagonist of the third game who's you guessed it, just some dude with an ahoge. Except this time he [[emo|represents the fanbase even more by being depressed]].
*'''[[Fag|Kokichi Ouma]]''' - An annoying [[fag]] that somehow has a bazillion fangirls despite the fact that he's a stupid asswipe throughout pretty much the entire game.
*'''[[Hipster|Rantaro Amami]]''' - An incredibly [[gay]] version of Indiana Jones, complete with dyed hair. Canonically has 20 sisters, all of which he is has "[[incest|raised]]".
*'''Miu Iruma''' - A blonde [[whore]] who repeatedly masturbates in public. Would be attractive if the voice actor wasn't a [[Do not want|fifty year old woman]].
*'''[[Original Character|Keebo]]''' - An edgy robot who wears a mask and has a gun. Would be perfectly suited to win this killing game but he not only [[Original Character|copied RoboCop's design]], but programming too, meaning the [[autist]] has to waddle around being useless.
*'''Gonta Gokuhara''' - Typical [[down syndrome]] sperg. Obsessed with bugs, ridiculously tall, incredibly stupid, and even has [[retard]] strength.
*'''[[Belle Delphine|Tsumugi Shirogane]]''' - [[Cosplay|Cosplayer]] weeb with dyed hair who is described as boring, even by herself. Oh and she's the secret villain lol.
*'''[[Anthroscape|Korekiyo Shinguji]]''' - Creepy nerd obsessed with [[Racism|"anthropology"]] who dresses like a [[Nazi]] wearing a [[Gimp|gimp mask]]. It's revealed he [[Incest|fucked and killed his sister]] as well as killing multiple other girls to give her "friends" in heaven. Has a bunch of female fans on Tumblr for some reason.
*'''[[Lesbian|Tenko Chabashira]]''' - Most likely made to make fun of the [[American]] [[whores]] who obsess over this series, Tenko is an annoying feminist, as well as a [[Lesbian|dyke]] who is explicitly shown to harass other girls and make them uncomfortable. Despite this, fans still love and defend her.
*'''Kirumi Tojo''' - Tall [[milf]] maid who only lives to serve until she kills the midget.
*'''[[BPD|Maki Harukawa]]''' - An attempt at making [[edgelord]] [[jailbait]], as she [[BPD|is constantly moody and rude to others]]. Despite being [[Anorexia|anorexic]] and short as fuck, she's supposed to be a world-class assassin who pwns people with her bare hands. Pretends to be a [[Pedophile|child "caregiver"]] to save face, her secret is very obvious.
*'''[[Midget|Ryoma Hoshi]]''' - [[Midget]] tennis player who wants to kill himself but gets pwned by the maid of all people. Was just made to insult the fanbases fathers who disappeared.
*'''Kaito Momota''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that I have nothing to say about him.
*'''Himiko Yumeno''' - [[Loli]] [[Wicca]] who is seen as [[delusional]] by the other characters, as no one is retarded enough to believe it - not even the spergy and easily manipulated Gonta. Was written to be another [[kawaii]] girl the fanbase would adore but instead came across as irritating and an example of lazy writing, using one gimmick and making a whole character out of it. The fucking bitch survives all six chapters as well.
*'''[[Negress|Angie Yonaga]]''' - The first and last black character in the whole series. Angie is depicted as a dangerous island-born cult leader who should be avoided. Voiced by a [[Japan|Jap]] and [[United States of Americunts|Whitey]] so the fans hate the creators for not having her be voiced by a real negro. She also dies early on, but sadly isn't the first to be killed.

==The Anime==
Because no Japanese video game would be complete without one nowadays an [[anime]] was released in 2013 which told an even shittier version of the first games plot. The show itself is pretty much unbearable; showcasing cheap animation and a standard of voice acting that would make even [[Tara Strong]] blush. Both the creators of the anime and the devs who commissioned the anime regret its [[abortion|creation]], probably because it exposed their stupid child killing fantasy to actual children who then became fans.

Similar to Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the writers decided one tragedy was not enough, and wanted a second anime. Unlike a retelling of their first shitty game, this told a new story in the same continuity of the games. This anime, Danganronpa 3, was mocked relentlessly by both critics and fans. Some of the shittiest writing in the series can be found in this anime, like killing off characters and reviving them for cheap surprise. The animation was even cheaper, with [[lazy|continuity mistakes]] being a common occurrence. New [[Mary Sue|characters]] were introduced, being even more stereotypical than the games characters, and given how half the anime was a prequel to the games, even the idiot fans worked out they shouldn't care about the soon-to-be body bags.

The release was also piss poor, with the story being split both in the future and past. One future episode was released, then a past episode would release. This hurt the underdeveloped [[retard|fetus brains]] that makes up the majority of the fanbase, and at that point this anime was considered dead and buried by both [[weeaboos]] and dangan-faggots.

==Fan Base==
[[File:Dont upset teen girls.png|thumb|A regular occurrence in the community.]]
Despite the amount of sexual assault and cartoon gore this series proudly displays, the fan base is comprised almost entirely of [[idiots|teenage girls]], who have morphed the series identity from another shitty [[weeaboo]] virtual novel, to an lgbtq hellhole. They demand every character be a [[sexuality]] you've never heard of and ship murderers with their victims. They redesign characters to be fatter, [[disabled|blacker]], or trans in a desperate bid to try convince people the game series made by right wing chinks is actually a digital gay bar.

The community is shunned by most other weeaboos for their extreme toxicity. Prominent members of their community are regularly [[doxxed]] and harassed for not being gay, not being trans, not shipping children, not liking [[fat]] reimaginings of the characters, not like [[nigga]] versions of the characters, not being a pedo, being a pedo, or not liking a particular character the fanbase has decided is a saint, despite them being depicted as a [[psychopath]] who manipulates and kills with no remorse.

==See Also==
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]] - What tried to rip off Danganronpa .
*[[Persona]] - What Danganronpa wishes it was.
*[[Ace Attorney]] - What Danganronpa tried to rip off.
*[[PSP]]
*[[Ripoff]]
*[[Einshine]] - Pedo fanboy who made a shitty comic that rips off the games artstyle.
*[[707Fangirl]] - Another fantard. Only this time a [[tartlet]].
*[[Something Awful]] - Where this abortion of a series was discovered by [[weeaboos|western audiences]]

{{Gaming}}
{{Anime}}

[[Category:Crap]]

Danganronpa

2024-06-29T15:58:28Z

ChessPiece99:

{{pics}}
{{potential}}
[[File:Twink degeneracy.jpg|thumb|One of the many minigames on offer.]]
'''Danganronpa''' (also known as '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2010''') is a game where you a play as a Normalfag by the name of '''Makoto Naegi'''  who got trapped inside a [[School|posh boarding school]] alongside his [[Lie|best friends]] and now they need to kill each other because [[WTF|some bear said so]]. <s> The ultimate goal of this game is to get along with each other in order to defeat big fat meanie bear known as ''Monokuma''</s>,The goal is to complete all 6 chapters, each one of them containing at least one murder (except for 6th chapter because developers run out of ideas by that point, not to mention the lack of people) that needs to be solved in order to advance further into a game. Now unless [[You|you're]] a goddamn [[retard]], you can already see that this is basically a poorly written [[Phoenix Wright]] [[game]] except with more unnecessary game mechanics and [[Animu archetypes|annoying anime tropes]]. Intended for [[weeaboo]] audiences, the game has attracted [[you|losers]] who have nothing better to do in their life, except to jerk off to their favorite anime characters, and then [[Dying alone|crying]] themselves to sleep when they see their favourite characters get killed. This game also got two sequels, '''Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2013''') and '''Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator Volume 3''') who are just as [[Shit|shitty]] if not, shittier then the original, and the one spin-off called '''Ultra Despair Girls''', which sounds like a feminist propaganda hell, but is actually the most offensive and sexist entry in the whole series.

==Who created this shit, how and why?==
[[File:Cocaine-use.jpg|thumb|The fuel needed to write this shit without wanting to commit [[suicide|seppuku]]]]
This game was developed by Spike Chunsoft, whom you might remember for doing those ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' fighting games you played on [[PS2]] as a kid. But the real mastermind behind all this shit is a man called '''Kazutaka Kodaka''', a child molester who despite being a hack writer, has somehow had 5 of his shitty stories be adapted into [[games]]. It is also worth mentioning that he'sone of the biggest [[Japan|japanese]] [[Trolling|video game trolls]] since he managed to [[pwned|pwn]] 33 fucking people in all three main games, thus [[Butthurt|pissing off]] a fuckton of weebs worldwide because their favourite characters got brutally murdered. He also likes teasing sequels that will never get made.
While the name may sound like a laundry detergent, Danganronpa is actually [[Japan|chink language]] for "Bullet Refute", as part of the gameplay has you shoot up court rooms. The original game was intended to be more gory and [[violent]], but the money hungry [[Jews]] at Spike Chunsoft knew that weeb fat girls on [[Twitter]] would one day obsess over this series, and so they made the blood pink to avoid censors, and so they could indoctrinate as many pre-teen losers as possible into their lord of the flies simulator.

The game was released in 2010 in Japan for the [[PSP]]. Since it was a Japan-only game, it never caught the eye of various people in the [[Jewnited States of Americunts|U.S. of A.]] until some [[Something Awful]] goon named "orenronen" made a "[[let's play]]" thread about the first game which caught the eyes of weeaboos seeing it as the second coming of [[Phoenix Wright]]. Eventually the game became so [[overrated|popular]] it got officially released for the Vita in English to the delight of weebs everywhere.

==Plot==
The plot centres around a bunch of teenage [[shota|shotas]] and [[loli|lolis]] raping each other in order to escape the high school from hell they're trapped in. Eventually the purging of the [[japan|chinks]] is halted so a blonde bimbo can be revealed to be behind the murder orgy. Once she is defeated through the power of friendship, the writers suck themselves off by having the remaining cast wet themselves over the "shocking twists", with such brilliant writing as "It was all a simulation, everything is fine." and "It was all fictional.".

The characters all have stereotypical anime backstories, including childhood friend love interest, rich asshole and being [[retarded]] but meaning well. Every single girl is [[rape|violated]] and shown in their underwear. Every guy is shown to be an asshole, become an asshole, or use to be an asshole, and now is a quiet [[homosexuality|freak]].

While the games were originally created just to satisfy the writers [[Sick fuck|fantasies]], overtime the developers learnt to hate their western fans. Danganronpa V3, the latest game, has characters and plotlines that parody and ridicule the western audience, and the ending itself was written to kill the franchise, as well as laugh at the fans for being invested in the characters. They also added new mascots and forced memes so they could make a killing off merchandise. The games were recently released as a collection on [[Switch]], [[Steam]], [[Apple|Mobile]] and [[Playstation]] with the vague promise of extra content just to milk more money from the retard fanbase.

==Gameplay==
Each chapter you click through a powerpoint of generic highschool classrooms wishing for death. Once you've spoken to the future rape victims you hate the least, one lucky individual is killed and gets their body proudly displayed in a serial killer death trap. This then forces you to find google images of possible murder weapons before entering a [[paedophile|McDonalds play area]] to discuss how the tranny was killed. You literally shoot down arguments with bullets engraved with the right slurs to trigger whichever [[retard]] dare challenge your intellect.

Future games changed barely anything due to the [[jews|corner cutting]] devs not wanting to actually have to work. Eventually you explore 3D areas with some of the worst map design and graphics known to man, as well as colour choices that would put [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure]] to shame for most [[faggot|gay jap creation]], giving us yet another reason why [[Hiroshima and Nagasaki|two bombs weren't enough]].

In-between making a fool of yourself in a virtual school, just like [[you]] do in real life, you are expected to socialize with the future breeding stock and [[zaiger|deadweights]] of the world. This forces you to deal with virtual novel text boxs with dialgoue you will neither remember nor care about. The best character is a girl whose only redeeming characteristic is having large breasts, who tells you her [[incest|uncle]] told her not to wear panties and she is genuinely too stupid to refuse to do anything she is told. Beyond her, no other character is worth paying attention to.

==Danganronpa==
[[File:dangan lgbt.jpeg|thumb|[[Oppression Olympics|Did you know that despite all the characters having Japanese names and taking place in Japan, every character is actually fat, queer, disabled, latino, black, or a combination of all of the above???]]]]
[[File:What we all want.jpg|thumb|The developers giving us players what we really want. This is official art lmao.]]

*'''[[Nu-male|Makoto Naegi]]''' - The protagonist of the first game who's literally just some dude with an ahoge. [[No|Way to get creative, Spike Chunsoft.]]
*'''[[Animegao|Sayaka Maizono]]''' - The [[jpop|idoru]] girl so irritatingly needy and "[[kawaii]]" that you'll piss yourself in happiness when she gets killed first.
*'''[[Scooby-Doo|Kyoko Kirigiri]]''' - Makoto's mystery solving "love interest" that barely wants anything to do with him. She is a walking plot device that hands everything regarding the murders to Makoto on a silver platter. [[Win|Makoto, Byakuya, and Yasuhiro get to gangbang Aoi if you kill off Kyoko in chapter 5]]. And yes, this is canon.
*'''[[Negress|Aoi Asahina]]''' - Ambiguously brown airhead with an IQ below 0 and big tits who exists to be fap fodder until the game ends. The artists gave her a tan and she was written to be quite stupid. This meant fans thought she was black, and fight about her race to this day.
*'''[[USI|Byakuya Togami]]''' - Your average [[EDiot]], thinking himself a brilliant intellectual whos not afraid to say whatever he wants. Everyone else is repulsed by him, and he gets beaten up by girls multiple times.
*'''[[Brittany Holechko|Celestia "Celeste" Ludenberg]]''' (also known as [[Powerword|Taeko Yasuhiro]]) - A massive [[Attention whore|attention whore]] who gambles because it's [[Lonely|all she has]]. Celeste pretends to be [[French]] but refuses to smell bad or [[incest|fuck her siblings]]. Is outed for being a filthy [[Japan|jap]] right before she is killed. [[Shit nobody cares about|Referred to as "Celes" in the anime]].
*'''[[Byuu|Chihiro Fujisaki]]''' - A [[trap|guy who pretends to be a gurl]], "buT iM NoT tRaNs i SwEaR!!!1!". Works with compooters, cries about everything, and is killed by a jock. Yeah, they're definitely a [[tranny]], and represent half of the fanbase. More useful after his death than 75% of the characters were when they were alive, including him.
*'''[[Basement Dweller|Hifumi Yamada]]''' - [[Christian Weston Chandler|Incredibly fat, disliked by every single character, is manipulated by Celeste to do her bidding just because she makes him wet]], and writes his own [[fan fiction]]. He represents the half of the fanbase that Chihiro doesn't, whether they like it or not.
*'''[[Reportfag|Kiyotaka Ishimaru]]''' - Possible [[Nazi]] who [[He does it for free|reports any activity he dislikes]]. Goes gay for Mondo after a ''very'' [[gay|''heterosexual'' bonding moment at the bathhouse]].
*'''[[Chad|Mondo Owada]]''' - The only cool person. Punches the faggy main character in the face, kills the tranny, works out regularly, is part of a biker gang, and killed his brother on his birthday. Proving that video games are the male fantasy.
*'''[[Fratboy|Leon Kuwata]]''' - [[douchebag|Douchey]] [[baseball]]fag who happened to be the first character made by the art team. They became so sick and tired of seeing his [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|fetal alcohol syndrome]] face that they made him the first killer.
*'''[[Leelah Alcorn|Sakura Ogami]]''' - A large muscle ogre-girl with a deep voice who keeps getting confused for a guy. [[Leelah Alcorn|Becomes part of the 42%]] after becoming [[an hero|an heroine]]. Yup, another tranny in the roster. Still better than the rest of the cast due to not acting like she has brain damage.
*'''[[Waluigis-girl|Toko Fukawa]]''' - Flat chested [[Multiple personality disorder|DID]] hoe who writes crappy romance novels despite being a [[wizardchan|kissless and hugless virgin]]. Lusts after the asshole [[yuppie]] Byakuya because getting treated like shit makes her panties wetter than the dead sea. [[Pixyteri|Canonically doesn't bathe]] and stinks so bad other girls avoid her. Another rep of the fanbase. Literally [[Jack the Ripper|a fucking serial killer]] but the plot ignores this in favor of a plotline about [[Hacker|1337 H4X0R]] Chihiro's AI that goes nowhere and [[fanservice]] of the underage characters.
*'''[[x/|Yasuhiro Hagakure]]''' - A [[conspiracy]] nutter who sadly isn't killed. Has a [[nigger]] hairstyle and is dumb as rocks but [[Srsly|a[pparently isn't black]], which is mind-boggling. Somehow makes it out of the school alive despite being more useless than the negress.
*'''[[Camwhore|Junko Enoshima]]''' - [[Blonde]] bimbo who gets [[pwn]]ed by Monokuma five minutes into the game but not really. Actually a [[schizo]] [[BPD]] hoe who set up the entire killing game [[I did it for the lulz|for the lulz]].
*'''[[Necrophilia|Mukuro Ikusaba]]''' - Some random pogue who disguises as Junko because she's actually her...sister? Twin? Who cares she's fucking [[dead]] lol.

==Danganronpa 2==
[[File:Nagito_kinny.jpg|thumb|How 2 be [[friendless]] forever]]

Oh boy they made a second one and it's even worse than the first. Ramp up the obnoxious personiality traits of the characters up to 11 without changing anything else and it's literally just the first game- same assets and all. This time they super wittily parody their own shitty writing choices from the first game. "Hahaha, memory loss is such a contrived plot point XD" they say before literally reusing the same unoriginal plot device.

*'''[[NORP|Hajime Hinata]]''' - The protagonist of the second game who's also just some plain dude with an ahoge. Wow, SC isn't even trying at this point...
*'''[[NPC|Chiaki Nanami]]''' - A [[mundane|boring and bland]] [[girl gamer]] that [[weeaboo|weeaboos]] still fap to nevertheless. In fact, there's an [[Sick fuck|actual scene of the game in which she's stripped in a bra and underwear.]]
*'''[[Twink|Nagito Komaeda]]''' - The designated whiny [[bishounen]] who babysits Hajime for the first part of the game and therefore is shipped relentlessly with Hajime. He has sexual fantasies of [[rape|raping]] Hajime's sweet ass pretty much every time he's on screen. Nagito has zillions of rabid [[Stans|fangirls]] known collectively as the "Komaeda Kinnies". Why does he have so many fangirls, again?
*'''[[Mr. Hands|Gundham Tanaka]]''' - [[Edgy]] [[Columbine|Trench Coat Mafia member]] who [[furry|molests]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|hamsters]] for a hobby and claims to be [[Brandon Crisp|the "Supreme Overlord of Ice"]]. [[School Shooting|Somehow doesn't shoot the rest of his classmates]] and [[win|even manages to fuck an]] [[Aryan]] princess.
*'''[[Incel|Kazuichi Soda]]''' - Covered in oil, [[autism|socially illiterate]] and a creep who admits he wants to "take apart women to see how they work". [[Simp]]s for Sonia despite her having less of a personality than the boring ass [[self insert]] main character. Basically every [[Anon|user]] of 4chan.
*'''[[KFC|Byakuya Togami]]''' - [[Fake and Gay|Same faggot as last time]], but now he's [[fat]] and [[cosplay]]s as Colonel Sanders. Turns out later he was just the sussy baka imposter who did a minimal amount of trolling. Gets killed at a feast with an oversized knife, a fate all fat fucks should share.
*'''[[Amy's Baking Company|Teruteru Hanamura]]''' - Same as the last retard but he's a [[bisexual]] [[manlet]] as well as fat. He is a very [[unfunny|charming and hilarious]] [[rapist|sex pervert]] who is basically Hifumi but 10 times more obnxious. His witty dialogue is comprised of 50% sex innuendos and 50% food puns. Thank the lord he's killed first chapter.
*'''[[Coprophagia|Nekomaru Nidai]]''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that there's nothing to say about him.
*'''[[Anita Sarkeesian|Mahiru Koizumi]]''' - Redhead [[Artist|art hoe]] who is always [[Feminism|complaining about men]].
*'''[[Boku no Pico|Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu]]''' - Crying [[shota]]bait who got a big titty gf to protect him. Supposed leader of the [[gangbang|yakuza]] but spends all game apologizing for being a fag.
*'''[[Bimbofication|Akane Owari]]''' - Only good character in the series. Big [[bewbs]], doesn't wear anything besides a short skirt and shirt, is too dumb to realise men take advantage of her, works out all the time, loves food, and doesn't mind being naked publicly. Perfect breeding material.
*'''[[White Nationalism|Sonia Nevermind]]''' - Boring [[Mary-Sue]] European princess. Basically spends the entire game being the dumb [[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|rich girl]] stereotype. "Oh my is that dust?! Have the coloured maid clear it away immediately!"
*'''[[Trolling IRL|Hiyoko Saionji]]''' - The ultimate [[jailbait]] [[loli]]. A [[pedobaiting|flat chested, short]], [[psychopath]] who rightfully bullies Mikan and Kazuichi for being the most annoying characters in the series. Becomes busty and bitchy when she gets older so [[party van|take advantage of her baby body while you still have the chance]].
*'''[[Cumslut|Mikan Tsumiki]]''' - Every fetish in the book. Nervous busty girl with no confidence who is always crying about something. She [[whore]]s herself out due to [[PTSD]] from getting [[bullied]] (rightfully so as she's fucking annoying). As walking fanservice, she wears a nurse outfit and is up-skirted constantly.
*'''[[Scenewhore|Ibuki Mioda]]''' - The personification of [[I'm so random|rawr XD, LOL random humor]] that ran rampant on [[Myspace]] in [[2006]]. She's [[Attention Whore|not like other girls]], she's "qUiRky aND pLAys GUItar omg sHE's jUst Like ME!!!!1!". In reality, she's a gimmick [[scene|scenegirl]] character who was killed when her usefulness had run dry. Fan girls still cry to this day and pretend she's a deep character.
*'''[[Slave|Peko Pekoyama]]''' - A slave who spent her whole life protecting men. Spends all day training and only speaks when asked. Big boobs and stays healthy. What all women should strive to be.

==Danganronpa V3==
*'''[[Mary Sue|Kaede Akamatsu]]''' - The character that gave [[otaku|otakus]] and [[feminist|feminazis]] alike 10 fucking orgasms once she was revealed, as they could now play as their very own [[fap]] material. But SHIT THEY JUST GOT PRANKED [[shit no one cares about|cuz she gets pwned in the first fucking chapter of the game.]] Boring protagonist .
*'''[[Emo|Shuchi Saihara]]''' - The true protagonist of the third game who's you guessed it, just some dude with an ahoge. Except this time he [[emo|represents the fanbase even more by being depressed]].
*'''[[Fag|Kokichi Ouma]]''' - An annoying [[fag]] that somehow has a bazillion fangirls despite the fact that he's a stupid asswipe throughout pretty much the entire game.
*'''[[Hipster|Rantaro Amami]]''' - An incredibly [[gay]] version of Indiana Jones, complete with dyed hair. Canonically has 20 sisters, all of which he is has "[[incest|raised]]".
*'''Miu Iruma''' - A blonde [[whore]] who repeatedly masturbates in public. Would be attractive if the voice actor wasn't a [[Do not want|fifty year old woman]].
*'''[[Original Character|Keebo]]''' - An edgy robot who wears a mask and has a gun. Would be perfectly suited to win this killing game but he not only [[Original Character|copied RoboCop's design]], but programming too, meaning the [[autist]] has to waddle around being useless.
*'''Gonta Gokuhara''' - Typical [[down syndrome]] sperg. Obsessed with bugs, ridiculously tall, incredibly stupid, and even has [[retard]] strength.
*'''[[Belle Delphine|Tsumugi Shirogane]]''' - [[Cosplay|Cosplayer]] weeb with dyed hair who is described as boring, even by herself. Oh and she's the secret villain lol.
*'''[[Anthroscape|Korekiyo Shinguji]]''' - Creepy nerd obsessed with [[Racism|"anthropology"]] who dresses like a [[Nazi]] wearing a [[Gimp|gimp mask]]. It's revealed he [[Incest|fucked and killed his sister]] as well as killing multiple other girls to give her "friends" in heaven. Has a bunch of female fans on Tumblr for some reason.
*'''[[Lesbian|Tenko Chabashira]]''' - Most likely made to make fun of the [[American]] [[whores]] who obsess over this series, Tenko is an annoying feminist, as well as a [[Lesbian|dyke]] who is explicitly shown to harass other girls and make them uncomfortable. Despite this, fans still love and defend her.
*'''Kirumi Tojo''' - Tall [[milf]] maid who only lives to serve until she kills the midget.
*'''[[BPD|Maki Harukawa]]''' - An attempt at making [[edgelord]] [[jailbait]], as she [[BPD|is constantly moody and rude to others]]. Despite being [[Anorexia|anorexic]] and short as fuck, she's supposed to be a world-class assassin who pwns people with her bare hands. Pretends to be a [[Pedophile|child "caregiver"]] to save face, her secret is very obvious.
*'''[[Midget|Ryoma Hoshi]]''' - [[Midget]] tennis player who wants to kill himself but gets pwned by the maid of all people. Was just made to insult the fanbases fathers who disappeared.
*'''Kaito Momota''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that I have nothing to say about him.
*'''Himiko Yumeno''' - [[Loli]] [[Wicca]] who is seen as [[delusional]] by the other characters, as no one is retarded enough to believe it - not even the spergy and easily manipulated Gonta. Was written to be another [[kawaii]] girl the fanbase would adore but instead came across as irritating and an example of lazy writing, using one gimmick and making a whole character out of it. The fucking bitch survives all six chapters as well.
*'''[[Negress|Angie Yonaga]]''' - The first and last black character in the whole series. Angie is depicted as a dangerous island-born cult leader who should be avoided. Voiced by a [[Japan|Jap]] and [[United States of Americunts|Whitey]] so the fans hate the creators for not having her be voiced by a real negro. She also dies early on, but sadly isn't the first to be killed.

==The Anime==
Because no Japanese video game would be complete without one nowadays an [[anime]] was released in 2013 which told an even shittier version of the first games plot. The show itself is pretty much unbearable; showcasing cheap animation and a standard of voice acting that would make even [[Tara Strong]] blush. Both the creators of the anime and the devs who commissioned the anime regret its [[abortion|creation]], probably because it exposed their stupid child killing fantasy to actual children who then became fans.

Similar to Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the writers decided one tragedy was not enough, and wanted a second anime. Unlike a retelling of their first shitty game, this told a new story in the same continuity of the games. This anime, Danganronpa 3, was mocked relentlessly by both critics and fans. Some of the shittiest writing in the series can be found in this anime, like killing off characters and reviving them for cheap surprise. The animation was even cheaper, with [[lazy|continuity mistakes]] being a common occurrence. New [[Mary Sue|characters]] were introduced, being even more stereotypical than the games characters, and given how half the anime was a prequel to the games, even the idiot fans worked out they shouldn't care about the soon-to-be body bags.

The release was also piss poor, with the story being split both in the future and past. One future episode was released, then a past episode would release. This hurt the underdeveloped [[retard|fetus brains]] that makes up the majority of the fanbase, and at that point this anime was considered dead and buried by both [[weeaboos]] and dangan-faggots.

==Fan Base==
[[File:Dont upset teen girls.png|thumb|A regular occurrence in the community.]]
Despite the amount of sexual assault and cartoon gore this series proudly displays, the fan base is comprised almost entirely of [[idiots|teenage girls]], who have morphed the series identity from another shitty [[weeaboo]] virtual novel, to an lgbtq hellhole. They demand every character be a [[sexuality]] you've never heard of and ship murderers with their victims. They redesign characters to be fatter, [[disabled|blacker]], or trans in a desperate bid to try convince people the game series made by right wing chinks is actually a digital gay bar.

The community is shunned by most other weeaboos for their extreme toxicity. Prominent members of their community are regularly [[doxxed]] and harassed for not being gay, not being trans, not shipping children, not liking [[fat]] reimaginings of the characters, not like [[nigga]] versions of the characters, not being a pedo, being a pedo, or not liking a particular character the fanbase has decided is a saint, despite them being depicted as a [[psychopath]] who manipulates and kills with no remorse.

==See Also==
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]] - What tried to rip off Danganronpa .
*[[Persona]] - What Danganronpa wishes it was.
*[[Ace Attorney]] - What Danganronpa tried to rip off.
*[[PSP]]
*[[Ripoff]]
*[[Einshine]] - Pedo fanboy who made a shitty comic that rips off the games artstyle.
*[[707Fangirl]] - Another fantard. Only this time a [[tartlet]].
*[[Something Awful]] - Where this abortion of a series was discovered by [[weeaboos|western audiences]]

{{Gaming}}
{{Anime}}

[[Category:Crap]]

Danganronpa

2024-06-29T15:58:09Z

ChessPiece99:

{{pics}}
{{potential}}
[[File:Twink degeneracy.jpg|thumb|One of the many minigames on offer.]]
'''Danganronpa''' (also known as '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2010''') is a game where you a play as a Normalfag by the name of '''Makoto Naegi'''  who got trapped inside a [[School|posh boarding school]] alongside his [[Lie|best friends]] and now they need to kill each other because [[WTF|some bear said so]]. <s> The ultimate goal of this game is to get along with each other in order to defeat big fat meanie bear known as ''Monokuma''</s>,The goal is to complete all 6 chapters, each one of them containing at least one murder (except for 6th chapter because developers run out of ideas by that point, not to mention the lack of people) that needs to be solved in order to advance further into a game. Now unless [[You|you're]] a goddamn [[retard]], you can already see that this is basically a poorly written [[Phoenix Wright]] [[game]] except with more unnecessary game mechanics and [[Animu archetypes|annoying anime tropes]]. Intended for [[weeaboo]] audiences, the game has attracted [[you|losers]] who have nothing better to do in their life, except to jerk off to their favorite anime characters, and then [[Dying alone|crying]] themselves to sleep when they see their favourite characters get killed. This game also got two sequels, '''Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2013''') and '''Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator Volume 3''') who are just as [[Shit|shitty]] if not, shittier then the original, and the one spin-off called '''Ultra Despair Girls''', which sounds like a feminist propaganda hell, but is actually the most offensive and sexist entry in the whole series.

==Who created this shit, how and why?==
[[File:Cocaine-use.jpg|thumb|The fuel needed to write this shit without wanting to commit [[suicide|seppuku]]]]
This game was developed by Spike Chunsoft, whom you might remember for doing those ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' fighting games you played on [[PS2]] as a kid. But the real mastermind behind all this shit is a man called '''Kazutaka Kodaka''', a child molester who despite being a hack writer, has somehow had 5 of his shitty stories be adapted into [[games]]. It is also worth mentioning that he'sone of the biggest [[Japan|japanese]] [[Trolling|video game trolls]] since he managed to [[pwned|pwn]] 33 fucking people in all three main games, thus [[Butthurt|pissing off]] a fuckton of weebs worldwide because their favourite characters got brutally murdered. He also likes teasing sequels that will never get made.
While the name may sound like a laundry detergent, Danganronpa is actually [[Japan|chink language]] for "Bullet Refute", as part of the gameplay has you shoot up court rooms. The original game was intended to be more gory and [[violent]], but the money hungry [[Jews]] at Spike Chunsoft knew that weeb fat girls on [[Twitter]] would one day obsess over this series, and so they made the blood pink to avoid censors, and so they could indoctrinate as many pre-teen losers as possible into their lord of the flies simulator.

The game was released in 2010 in Japan for the [[PSP]]. Since it was a Japan-only game, it never caught the eye of various people in the [[Jewnited States of Americunts|U.S. of A.]] until some [[Something Awful]] goon named "orenronen" made a "[[let's play]]" thread about the first game which caught the eyes of weeaboos seeing it as the second coming of [[Phoenix Wright]]. Eventually the game became so [[overrated|popular]] it got officially released for the Vita in English to the delight of weebs everywhere.

==Plot==
The plot centres around a bunch of teenage [[shota|shotas]] and [[loli|lolis]] raping each other in order to escape the high school from hell they're trapped in. Eventually the purging of the [[japan|chinks]] is halted so a blonde bimbo can be revealed to be behind the murder orgy. Once she is defeated through the power of friendship, the writers suck themselves off by having the remaining cast wet themselves over the "shocking twists", with such brilliant writing as "It was all a simulation, everything is fine." and "It was all fictional.".

The characters all have stereotypical anime backstories, including childhood friend love interest, rich asshole and being [[retarded]] but meaning well. Every single girl is [[rape|violated]] and shown in their underwear. Every guy is shown to be an asshole, become an asshole, or use to be an asshole, and now is a quiet [[homosexuality|freak]].

While the games were originally created just to satisfy the writers [[Sick fuck|fantasies]], overtime the developers learnt to hate their western fans. Danganronpa V3, the latest game, has characters and plotlines that parody and ridicule the western audience, and the ending itself was written to kill the franchise, as well as laugh at the fans for being invested in the characters. They also added new mascots and forced memes so they could make a killing off merchandise. The games were recently released as a collection on [[Switch]], [[Steam]], [[Apple|Mobile]] and [[Playstation]] with the vague promise of extra content just to milk more money from the retard fanbase.

==Gameplay==
Each chapter you click through a powerpoint of generic highschool classrooms wishing for death. Once you've spoken to the future rape victims you hate the least, one lucky individual is killed and gets their body proudly displayed in a serial killer death trap. This then forces you to find google images of possible murder weapons before entering a [[paedophile|McDonalds play area]] to discuss how the tranny was killed. You literally shoot down arguments with bullets engraved with the right slurs to trigger whichever [[retard]] dare challenge your intellect.

Future games changed barely anything due to the [[jews|corner cutting]] devs not wanting to actually have to work. Eventually you explore 3D areas with some of the worst map design and graphics known to man, as well as colour choices that would put [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure]] to shame for most [[faggot|gay jap creation]], giving us yet another reason why [[Hiroshima and Nagasaki|two bombs weren't enough]].

In-between making a fool of yourself in a virtual school, just like [[you]] do in real life, you are expected to socialize with the future breeding stock and [[zaiger|deadweights]] of the world. This forces you to deal with virtual novel text boxs with dialgoue you will neither remember nor care about. The best character is a girl whose only redeeming characteristic is having large breasts, who tells you her [[incest|uncle]] told her not to wear panties and she is genuinely too stupid to refuse to do anything she is told. Beyond her, no other character is worth paying attention to.

==Danganronpa==
[[File:dangan lgbt.jpeg|thumb|[[Oppression Olympics|Did you know that despite all the characters having Japanese names and taking place in Japan, every character is actually fat, queer, disabled, latino, black, or a combination of all of the above???]]]]
[[File:What we all want.jpg|thumb|The developers giving us players what we really want. This is official art lmao.]]

*'''[[Nu-male|Makoto Naegi]]''' - The protagonist of the first game who's literally just some dude with an ahoge. [[No|Way to get creative, Spike Chunsoft.]]
*'''[[Animegao|Sayaka Maizono]]''' - The [[jpop|idoru]] girl so irritatingly needy and "[[kawaii]]" that you'll piss yourself in happiness when she gets killed first.
*'''[[Scooby-Doo|Kyoko Kirigiri]]''' - Makoto's mystery solving "love interest" that barely wants anything to do with him. She is a walking plot device that hands everything regarding the murders to Makoto on a silver platter. [[Win|Makoto, Byakuya, and Yasuhiro get to gangbang Aoi if you kill off Kyoko in chapter 5]]. And yes, this is canon.
*'''[[Negress|Aoi Asahina]]''' - Ambiguously brown airhead with an IQ below 0 and big tits who exists to be fap fodder until the game ends. The artists gave her a tan and she was written to be quite stupid. This meant fans thought she was black, and fight about her race to this day.
*'''[[USI|Byakuya Togami]]''' - Your average [[EDiot]], thinking himself a brilliant intellectual whos not afraid to say whatever he wants. Everyone else is repulsed by him, and he gets beaten up by girls multiple times.
*'''[[Brittany Holechko|Celestia "Celeste" Ludenberg]]''' (also known as [[Powerword|Taeko Yasuhiro]]) - A massive [[Attention whore|attention whore]] who [[Lonely|admits gambling is all she has]], and pretends to be [[French]] but refuses to smell bad or [[incest|fuck her siblings]]. Is outed for being a filthy [[Japan|jap]] right before she is killed. [[Shit nobody cares about|Referred to as "Celes" in the anime]].
*'''[[Byuu|Chihiro Fujisaki]]''' - A [[trap|guy who pretends to be a gurl]], "buT iM NoT tRaNs i SwEaR!!!1!". Works with compooters, cries about everything, and is killed by a jock. Yeah, they're definitely a [[tranny]], and represent half of the fanbase. More useful after his death than 75% of the characters were when they were alive, including him.
*'''[[Basement Dweller|Hifumi Yamada]]''' - [[Christian Weston Chandler|Incredibly fat, disliked by every single character, is manipulated by Celeste to do her bidding just because she makes him wet]], and writes his own [[fan fiction]]. He represents the half of the fanbase that Chihiro doesn't, whether they like it or not.
*'''[[Reportfag|Kiyotaka Ishimaru]]''' - Possible [[Nazi]] who [[He does it for free|reports any activity he dislikes]]. Goes gay for Mondo after a ''very'' [[gay|''heterosexual'' bonding moment at the bathhouse]].
*'''[[Chad|Mondo Owada]]''' - The only cool person. Punches the faggy main character in the face, kills the tranny, works out regularly, is part of a biker gang, and killed his brother on his birthday. Proving that video games are the male fantasy.
*'''[[Fratboy|Leon Kuwata]]''' - [[douchebag|Douchey]] [[baseball]]fag who happened to be the first character made by the art team. They became so sick and tired of seeing his [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|fetal alcohol syndrome]] face that they made him the first killer.
*'''[[Leelah Alcorn|Sakura Ogami]]''' - A large muscle ogre-girl with a deep voice who keeps getting confused for a guy. [[Leelah Alcorn|Becomes part of the 42%]] after becoming [[an hero|an heroine]]. Yup, another tranny in the roster. Still better than the rest of the cast due to not acting like she has brain damage.
*'''[[Waluigis-girl|Toko Fukawa]]''' - Flat chested [[Multiple personality disorder|DID]] hoe who writes crappy romance novels despite being a [[wizardchan|kissless and hugless virgin]]. Lusts after the asshole [[yuppie]] Byakuya because getting treated like shit makes her panties wetter than the dead sea. [[Pixyteri|Canonically doesn't bathe]] and stinks so bad other girls avoid her. Another rep of the fanbase. Literally [[Jack the Ripper|a fucking serial killer]] but the plot ignores this in favor of a plotline about [[Hacker|1337 H4X0R]] Chihiro's AI that goes nowhere and [[fanservice]] of the underage characters.
*'''[[x/|Yasuhiro Hagakure]]''' - A [[conspiracy]] nutter who sadly isn't killed. Has a [[nigger]] hairstyle and is dumb as rocks but [[Srsly|a[pparently isn't black]], which is mind-boggling. Somehow makes it out of the school alive despite being more useless than the negress.
*'''[[Camwhore|Junko Enoshima]]''' - [[Blonde]] bimbo who gets [[pwn]]ed by Monokuma five minutes into the game but not really. Actually a [[schizo]] [[BPD]] hoe who set up the entire killing game [[I did it for the lulz|for the lulz]].
*'''[[Necrophilia|Mukuro Ikusaba]]''' - Some random pogue who disguises as Junko because she's actually her...sister? Twin? Who cares she's fucking [[dead]] lol.

==Danganronpa 2==
[[File:Nagito_kinny.jpg|thumb|How 2 be [[friendless]] forever]]

Oh boy they made a second one and it's even worse than the first. Ramp up the obnoxious personiality traits of the characters up to 11 without changing anything else and it's literally just the first game- same assets and all. This time they super wittily parody their own shitty writing choices from the first game. "Hahaha, memory loss is such a contrived plot point XD" they say before literally reusing the same unoriginal plot device.

*'''[[NORP|Hajime Hinata]]''' - The protagonist of the second game who's also just some plain dude with an ahoge. Wow, SC isn't even trying at this point...
*'''[[NPC|Chiaki Nanami]]''' - A [[mundane|boring and bland]] [[girl gamer]] that [[weeaboo|weeaboos]] still fap to nevertheless. In fact, there's an [[Sick fuck|actual scene of the game in which she's stripped in a bra and underwear.]]
*'''[[Twink|Nagito Komaeda]]''' - The designated whiny [[bishounen]] who babysits Hajime for the first part of the game and therefore is shipped relentlessly with Hajime. He has sexual fantasies of [[rape|raping]] Hajime's sweet ass pretty much every time he's on screen. Nagito has zillions of rabid [[Stans|fangirls]] known collectively as the "Komaeda Kinnies". Why does he have so many fangirls, again?
*'''[[Mr. Hands|Gundham Tanaka]]''' - [[Edgy]] [[Columbine|Trench Coat Mafia member]] who [[furry|molests]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|hamsters]] for a hobby and claims to be [[Brandon Crisp|the "Supreme Overlord of Ice"]]. [[School Shooting|Somehow doesn't shoot the rest of his classmates]] and [[win|even manages to fuck an]] [[Aryan]] princess.
*'''[[Incel|Kazuichi Soda]]''' - Covered in oil, [[autism|socially illiterate]] and a creep who admits he wants to "take apart women to see how they work". [[Simp]]s for Sonia despite her having less of a personality than the boring ass [[self insert]] main character. Basically every [[Anon|user]] of 4chan.
*'''[[KFC|Byakuya Togami]]''' - [[Fake and Gay|Same faggot as last time]], but now he's [[fat]] and [[cosplay]]s as Colonel Sanders. Turns out later he was just the sussy baka imposter who did a minimal amount of trolling. Gets killed at a feast with an oversized knife, a fate all fat fucks should share.
*'''[[Amy's Baking Company|Teruteru Hanamura]]''' - Same as the last retard but he's a [[bisexual]] [[manlet]] as well as fat. He is a very [[unfunny|charming and hilarious]] [[rapist|sex pervert]] who is basically Hifumi but 10 times more obnxious. His witty dialogue is comprised of 50% sex innuendos and 50% food puns. Thank the lord he's killed first chapter.
*'''[[Coprophagia|Nekomaru Nidai]]''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that there's nothing to say about him.
*'''[[Anita Sarkeesian|Mahiru Koizumi]]''' - Redhead [[Artist|art hoe]] who is always [[Feminism|complaining about men]].
*'''[[Boku no Pico|Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu]]''' - Crying [[shota]]bait who got a big titty gf to protect him. Supposed leader of the [[gangbang|yakuza]] but spends all game apologizing for being a fag.
*'''[[Bimbofication|Akane Owari]]''' - Only good character in the series. Big [[bewbs]], doesn't wear anything besides a short skirt and shirt, is too dumb to realise men take advantage of her, works out all the time, loves food, and doesn't mind being naked publicly. Perfect breeding material.
*'''[[White Nationalism|Sonia Nevermind]]''' - Boring [[Mary-Sue]] European princess. Basically spends the entire game being the dumb [[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|rich girl]] stereotype. "Oh my is that dust?! Have the coloured maid clear it away immediately!"
*'''[[Trolling IRL|Hiyoko Saionji]]''' - The ultimate [[jailbait]] [[loli]]. A [[pedobaiting|flat chested, short]], [[psychopath]] who rightfully bullies Mikan and Kazuichi for being the most annoying characters in the series. Becomes busty and bitchy when she gets older so [[party van|take advantage of her baby body while you still have the chance]].
*'''[[Cumslut|Mikan Tsumiki]]''' - Every fetish in the book. Nervous busty girl with no confidence who is always crying about something. She [[whore]]s herself out due to [[PTSD]] from getting [[bullied]] (rightfully so as she's fucking annoying). As walking fanservice, she wears a nurse outfit and is up-skirted constantly.
*'''[[Scenewhore|Ibuki Mioda]]''' - The personification of [[I'm so random|rawr XD, LOL random humor]] that ran rampant on [[Myspace]] in [[2006]]. She's [[Attention Whore|not like other girls]], she's "qUiRky aND pLAys GUItar omg sHE's jUst Like ME!!!!1!". In reality, she's a gimmick [[scene|scenegirl]] character who was killed when her usefulness had run dry. Fan girls still cry to this day and pretend she's a deep character.
*'''[[Slave|Peko Pekoyama]]''' - A slave who spent her whole life protecting men. Spends all day training and only speaks when asked. Big boobs and stays healthy. What all women should strive to be.

==Danganronpa V3==
*'''[[Mary Sue|Kaede Akamatsu]]''' - The character that gave [[otaku|otakus]] and [[feminist|feminazis]] alike 10 fucking orgasms once she was revealed, as they could now play as their very own [[fap]] material. But SHIT THEY JUST GOT PRANKED [[shit no one cares about|cuz she gets pwned in the first fucking chapter of the game.]] Boring protagonist .
*'''[[Emo|Shuchi Saihara]]''' - The true protagonist of the third game who's you guessed it, just some dude with an ahoge. Except this time he [[emo|represents the fanbase even more by being depressed]].
*'''[[Fag|Kokichi Ouma]]''' - An annoying [[fag]] that somehow has a bazillion fangirls despite the fact that he's a stupid asswipe throughout pretty much the entire game.
*'''[[Hipster|Rantaro Amami]]''' - An incredibly [[gay]] version of Indiana Jones, complete with dyed hair. Canonically has 20 sisters, all of which he is has "[[incest|raised]]".
*'''Miu Iruma''' - A blonde [[whore]] who repeatedly masturbates in public. Would be attractive if the voice actor wasn't a [[Do not want|fifty year old woman]].
*'''[[Original Character|Keebo]]''' - An edgy robot who wears a mask and has a gun. Would be perfectly suited to win this killing game but he not only [[Original Character|copied RoboCop's design]], but programming too, meaning the [[autist]] has to waddle around being useless.
*'''Gonta Gokuhara''' - Typical [[down syndrome]] sperg. Obsessed with bugs, ridiculously tall, incredibly stupid, and even has [[retard]] strength.
*'''[[Belle Delphine|Tsumugi Shirogane]]''' - [[Cosplay|Cosplayer]] weeb with dyed hair who is described as boring, even by herself. Oh and she's the secret villain lol.
*'''[[Anthroscape|Korekiyo Shinguji]]''' - Creepy nerd obsessed with [[Racism|"anthropology"]] who dresses like a [[Nazi]] wearing a [[Gimp|gimp mask]]. It's revealed he [[Incest|fucked and killed his sister]] as well as killing multiple other girls to give her "friends" in heaven. Has a bunch of female fans on Tumblr for some reason.
*'''[[Lesbian|Tenko Chabashira]]''' - Most likely made to make fun of the [[American]] [[whores]] who obsess over this series, Tenko is an annoying feminist, as well as a [[Lesbian|dyke]] who is explicitly shown to harass other girls and make them uncomfortable. Despite this, fans still love and defend her.
*'''Kirumi Tojo''' - Tall [[milf]] maid who only lives to serve until she kills the midget.
*'''[[BPD|Maki Harukawa]]''' - An attempt at making [[edgelord]] [[jailbait]], as she [[BPD|is constantly moody and rude to others]]. Despite being [[Anorexia|anorexic]] and short as fuck, she's supposed to be a world-class assassin who pwns people with her bare hands. Pretends to be a [[Pedophile|child "caregiver"]] to save face, her secret is very obvious.
*'''[[Midget|Ryoma Hoshi]]''' - [[Midget]] tennis player who wants to kill himself but gets pwned by the maid of all people. Was just made to insult the fanbases fathers who disappeared.
*'''Kaito Momota''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that I have nothing to say about him.
*'''Himiko Yumeno''' - [[Loli]] [[Wicca]] who is seen as [[delusional]] by the other characters, as no one is retarded enough to believe it - not even the spergy and easily manipulated Gonta. Was written to be another [[kawaii]] girl the fanbase would adore but instead came across as irritating and an example of lazy writing, using one gimmick and making a whole character out of it. The fucking bitch survives all six chapters as well.
*'''[[Negress|Angie Yonaga]]''' - The first and last black character in the whole series. Angie is depicted as a dangerous island-born cult leader who should be avoided. Voiced by a [[Japan|Jap]] and [[United States of Americunts|Whitey]] so the fans hate the creators for not having her be voiced by a real negro. She also dies early on, but sadly isn't the first to be killed.

==The Anime==
Because no Japanese video game would be complete without one nowadays an [[anime]] was released in 2013 which told an even shittier version of the first games plot. The show itself is pretty much unbearable; showcasing cheap animation and a standard of voice acting that would make even [[Tara Strong]] blush. Both the creators of the anime and the devs who commissioned the anime regret its [[abortion|creation]], probably because it exposed their stupid child killing fantasy to actual children who then became fans.

Similar to Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the writers decided one tragedy was not enough, and wanted a second anime. Unlike a retelling of their first shitty game, this told a new story in the same continuity of the games. This anime, Danganronpa 3, was mocked relentlessly by both critics and fans. Some of the shittiest writing in the series can be found in this anime, like killing off characters and reviving them for cheap surprise. The animation was even cheaper, with [[lazy|continuity mistakes]] being a common occurrence. New [[Mary Sue|characters]] were introduced, being even more stereotypical than the games characters, and given how half the anime was a prequel to the games, even the idiot fans worked out they shouldn't care about the soon-to-be body bags.

The release was also piss poor, with the story being split both in the future and past. One future episode was released, then a past episode would release. This hurt the underdeveloped [[retard|fetus brains]] that makes up the majority of the fanbase, and at that point this anime was considered dead and buried by both [[weeaboos]] and dangan-faggots.

==Fan Base==
[[File:Dont upset teen girls.png|thumb|A regular occurrence in the community.]]
Despite the amount of sexual assault and cartoon gore this series proudly displays, the fan base is comprised almost entirely of [[idiots|teenage girls]], who have morphed the series identity from another shitty [[weeaboo]] virtual novel, to an lgbtq hellhole. They demand every character be a [[sexuality]] you've never heard of and ship murderers with their victims. They redesign characters to be fatter, [[disabled|blacker]], or trans in a desperate bid to try convince people the game series made by right wing chinks is actually a digital gay bar.

The community is shunned by most other weeaboos for their extreme toxicity. Prominent members of their community are regularly [[doxxed]] and harassed for not being gay, not being trans, not shipping children, not liking [[fat]] reimaginings of the characters, not like [[nigga]] versions of the characters, not being a pedo, being a pedo, or not liking a particular character the fanbase has decided is a saint, despite them being depicted as a [[psychopath]] who manipulates and kills with no remorse.

==See Also==
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]] - What tried to rip off Danganronpa .
*[[Persona]] - What Danganronpa wishes it was.
*[[Ace Attorney]] - What Danganronpa tried to rip off.
*[[PSP]]
*[[Ripoff]]
*[[Einshine]] - Pedo fanboy who made a shitty comic that rips off the games artstyle.
*[[707Fangirl]] - Another fantard. Only this time a [[tartlet]].
*[[Something Awful]] - Where this abortion of a series was discovered by [[weeaboos|western audiences]]

{{Gaming}}
{{Anime}}

[[Category:Crap]]

Danganronpa

2024-06-29T15:54:59Z

ChessPiece99:

{{pics}}
{{potential}}
[[File:Twink degeneracy.jpg|thumb|One of the many minigames on offer.]]
'''Danganronpa''' (also known as '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2010''') is a game where you a play as a Normalfag by the name of '''Makoto Naegi'''  who got trapped inside a [[School|posh boarding school]] alongside his [[Lie|best friends]] and now they need to kill each other because [[WTF|some bear said so]]. <s> The ultimate goal of this game is to get along with each other in order to defeat big fat meanie bear known as ''Monokuma''</s>,The goal is to complete all 6 chapters, each one of them containing at least one murder (except for 6th chapter because developers run out of ideas by that point, not to mention the lack of people) that needs to be solved in order to advance further into a game. Now unless [[You|you're]] a goddamn [[retard]], you can already see that this is basically a poorly written [[Phoenix Wright]] [[game]] except with more unnecessary game mechanics and [[Animu archetypes|annoying anime tropes]]. Intended for [[weeaboo]] audiences, the game has attracted [[you|losers]] who have nothing better to do in their life, except to jerk off to their favorite anime characters, and then [[Dying alone|crying]] themselves to sleep when they see their favourite characters get killed. This game also got two sequels, '''Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2013''') and '''Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator Volume 3''') who are just as [[Shit|shitty]] if not, shittier then the original, and the one spin-off called '''Ultra Despair Girls''', which sounds like a feminist propaganda hell, but is actually the most offensive and sexist entry in the whole series.

==Who created this shit, how and why?==
[[File:Cocaine-use.jpg|thumb|The fuel needed to write this shit without wanting to commit [[suicide|seppuku]]]]
This game was developed by Spike Chunsoft, whom you might remember for doing those ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' fighting games you played on [[PS2]] as a kid. But the real mastermind behind all this shit is a man called '''Kazutaka Kodaka''', a child molester who despite being a hack writer, has somehow had 5 of his shitty stories be adapted into [[games]]. It is also worth mentioning that he'sone of the biggest [[Japan|japanese]] [[Trolling|video game trolls]] since he managed to [[pwned|pwn]] 33 fucking people in all three main games, thus [[Butthurt|pissing off]] a fuckton of weebs worldwide because their favourite characters got brutally murdered. He also likes teasing sequels that will never get made.
While the name may sound like a laundry detergent, Danganronpa is actually [[Japan|chink language]] for "Bullet Refute", as part of the gameplay has you shoot up court rooms. The original game was intended to be more gory and [[violent]], but the money hungry [[Jews]] at Spike Chunsoft knew that weeb fat girls on [[Twitter]] would one day obsess over this series, and so they made the blood pink to avoid censors, and so they could indoctrinate as many pre-teen losers as possible into their lord of the flies simulator.

The game was released in 2010 in Japan for the [[PSP]]. Since it was a Japan-only game, it never caught the eye of various people in the [[Jewnited States of Americunts|U.S. of A.]] until some [[Something Awful]] goon named "orenronen" made a "[[let's play]]" thread about the first game which caught the eyes of weeaboos seeing it as the second coming of [[Phoenix Wright]]. Eventually the game became so [[overrated|popular]] it got officially released for the Vita in English to the delight of weebs everywhere.

==Plot==
The plot centres around a bunch of teenage [[shota|shotas]] and [[loli|lolis]] raping each other in order to escape the high school from hell they're trapped in. Eventually the purging of the [[japan|chinks]] is halted so a blonde bimbo can be revealed to be behind the murder orgy. Once she is defeated through the power of friendship, the writers suck themselves off by having the remaining cast wet themselves over the "shocking twists", with such brilliant writing as "It was all a simulation, everything is fine." and "It was all fictional.".

The characters all have stereotypical anime backstories, including childhood friend love interest, rich asshole and being [[retarded]] but meaning well. Every single girl is [[rape|violated]] and shown in their underwear. Every guy is shown to be an asshole, become an asshole, or use to be an asshole, and now is a quiet [[homosexuality|freak]].

While the games were originally created just to satisfy the writers [[Sick fuck|fantasies]], overtime the developers learnt to hate their western fans. Danganronpa V3, the latest game, has characters and plotlines that parody and ridicule the western audience, and the ending itself was written to kill the franchise, as well as laugh at the fans for being invested in the characters. They also added new mascots and forced memes so they could make a killing off merchandise. The games were recently released as a collection on [[Switch]], [[Steam]], [[Apple|Mobile]] and [[Playstation]] with the vague promise of extra content just to milk more money from the retard fanbase.

==Gameplay==
Each chapter you click through a powerpoint of generic highschool classrooms wishing for death. Once you've spoken to the future rape victims you hate the least, one lucky individual is killed and gets their body proudly displayed in a serial killer death trap. This then forces you to find google images of possible murder weapons before entering a [[paedophile|McDonalds play area]] to discuss how the tranny was killed. You literally shoot down arguments with bullets engraved with the right slurs to trigger whichever [[retard]] dare challenge your intellect.

Future games changed barely anything due to the [[jews|corner cutting]] devs not wanting to actually have to work. Eventually you explore 3D areas with some of the worst map design and graphics known to man, as well as colour choices that would put [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure]] to shame for most [[faggot|gay jap creation]], giving us yet another reason why [[Hiroshima and Nagasaki|two bombs weren't enough]].

In-between making a fool of yourself in a virtual school, just like [[you]] do in real life, you are expected to socialize with the future breeding stock and [[zaiger|deadweights]] of the world. This forces you to deal with virtual novel text boxs with dialgoue you will neither remember nor care about. The best character is a girl whose only redeeming characteristic is having large breasts, who tells you her [[incest|uncle]] told her not to wear panties and she is genuinely too stupid to refuse to do anything she is told. Beyond her, no other character is worth paying attention to.

==Danganronpa==
[[File:dangan lgbt.jpeg|thumb|[[Oppression Olympics|Did you know that despite all the characters having Japanese names and taking place in Japan, every character is actually fat, queer, disabled, latino, black, or a combination of all of the above???]]]]
[[File:What we all want.jpg|thumb|The developers giving us players what we really want. This is official art lmao.]]

*'''[[Nu-male|Makoto Naegi]]''' - The protagonist of the first game who's literally just some dude with an ahoge. [[No|Way to get creative, Spike Chunsoft.]]
*'''[[Animegao|Sayaka Maizono]]''' - The [[jpop|idoru]] girl so irritatingly needy and "[[kawaii]]" that you'll piss yourself in happiness when she gets killed first.
*'''[[Scooby-Doo|Kyoko Kirigiri]]''' - Makoto's mystery solving "love interest" that barely wants anything to do with him. She is a walking plot device that hands everything regarding the murders to Makoto on a silver platter. [[Win|Makoto, Byakuya, and Yasuhiro get to gangbang Aoi if you kill off Kyoko in chapter 5]]. And yes, this is canon.
*'''[[Negress|Aoi Asahina]]''' - Ambiguously brown airhead with an IQ below 0 and big tits who exists to be fap fodder until the game ends. The artists gave her a tan and she was written to be quite stupid. This meant fans thought she was black, and fight about her race to this day.
*'''[[USI|Byakuya Togami]]''' - Your average [[EDiot]], thinking himself a brilliant intellectual whos not afraid to say whatever he wants. Everyone else is repulsed by him, and he gets beaten up by girls multiple times.
*'''[[Goth|Celestia Ludenberg]]''' (real name: [[Powerword|Taeko Yasuhiro]]) - Pretends to be [[French]], but refuses to smell bad or [[incest|fuck her siblings]]. Is outed for being a filthy [[Japan|jap]] right before she is killed.
*'''[[Byuu|Chihiro Fujisaki]]''' - A [[trap|guy who pretends to be a gurl]], "buT iM NoT tRaNs i SwEaR!!!1!". Works with compooters, cries about everything, and is killed by a jock. Yeah, they're definitely a [[tranny]], and represent half of the fanbase. More useful after his death than 75% of the characters were when they were alive, including him.
*'''[[Basement Dweller|Hifumi Yamada]]''' - [[Christian Weston Chandler|Incredibly fat, disliked by every single character, is manipulated by Celeste to do her bidding just because she makes him wet]], and writes his own [[fan fiction]]. He represents the half of the fanbase that Chihiro doesn't, whether they like it or not.
*'''[[Reportfag|Kiyotaka Ishimaru]]''' - Possible [[Nazi]] who [[He does it for free|reports any activity he dislikes]]. Goes gay for Mondo after a ''very'' [[gay|''heterosexual'' bonding moment at the bathhouse]].
*'''[[Chad|Mondo Owada]]''' - The only cool person. Punches the faggy main character in the face, kills the tranny, works out regularly, is part of a biker gang, and killed his brother on his birthday. Proving that video games are the male fantasy.
*'''[[Fratboy|Leon Kuwata]]''' - [[douchebag|Douchey]] [[baseball]]fag who happened to be the first character made by the art team. They became so sick and tired of seeing his [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|fetal alcohol syndrome]] face that they made him the first killer.
*'''[[Leelah Alcorn|Sakura Ogami]]''' - A large muscle ogre-girl with a deep voice who keeps getting confused for a guy. [[Leelah Alcorn|Becomes part of the 42%]] after becoming [[an hero|an heroine]]. Yup, another tranny in the roster. Still better than the rest of the cast due to not acting like she has brain damage.
*'''[[Waluigis-girl|Toko Fukawa]]''' - Flat chested [[Multiple personality disorder|DID]] hoe who writes crappy romance novels despite being a [[wizardchan|kissless and hugless virgin]]. Lusts after the asshole [[yuppie]] Byakuya because getting treated like shit makes her panties wetter than the dead sea. [[Pixyteri|Canonically doesn't bathe]] and stinks so bad other girls avoid her. Another rep of the fanbase. Literally [[Jack the Ripper|a fucking serial killer]] but the plot ignores this in favor of a plotline about [[Hacker|1337 H4X0R]] Chihiro's AI that goes nowhere and [[fanservice]] of the underage characters.
*'''[[x/|Yasuhiro Hagakure]]''' - A [[conspiracy]] nutter who sadly isn't killed. Has a [[nigger]] hairstyle and is dumb as rocks but [[Srsly|a[pparently isn't black]], which is mind-boggling. Somehow makes it out of the school alive despite being more useless than the negress.
*'''[[Camwhore|Junko Enoshima]]''' - [[Blonde]] bimbo who gets [[pwn]]ed by Monokuma five minutes into the game but not really. Actually a [[schizo]] [[BPD]] hoe who set up the entire killing game [[I did it for the lulz|for the lulz]].
*'''[[Necrophilia|Mukuro Ikusaba]]''' - Some random pogue who disguises as Junko because she's actually her...sister? Twin? Who cares she's fucking [[dead]] lol.

==Danganronpa 2==
[[File:Nagito_kinny.jpg|thumb|How 2 be [[friendless]] forever]]

Oh boy they made a second one and it's even worse than the first. Ramp up the obnoxious personiality traits of the characters up to 11 without changing anything else and it's literally just the first game- same assets and all. This time they super wittily parody their own shitty writing choices from the first game. "Hahaha, memory loss is such a contrived plot point XD" they say before literally reusing the same unoriginal plot device.

*'''[[NORP|Hajime Hinata]]''' - The protagonist of the second game who's also just some plain dude with an ahoge. Wow, SC isn't even trying at this point...
*'''[[NPC|Chiaki Nanami]]''' - A [[mundane|boring and bland]] [[girl gamer]] that [[weeaboo|weeaboos]] still fap to nevertheless. In fact, there's an [[Sick fuck|actual scene of the game in which she's stripped in a bra and underwear.]]
*'''[[Twink|Nagito Komaeda]]''' - The designated whiny [[bishounen]] who babysits Hajime for the first part of the game and therefore is shipped relentlessly with Hajime. He has sexual fantasies of [[rape|raping]] Hajime's sweet ass pretty much every time he's on screen. Nagito has zillions of rabid [[Stans|fangirls]] known collectively as the "Komaeda Kinnies". Why does he have so many fangirls, again?
*'''[[Mr. Hands|Gundham Tanaka]]''' - [[Edgy]] [[Columbine|Trench Coat Mafia member]] who [[furry|molests]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|hamsters]] for a hobby and claims to be [[Brandon Crisp|the "Supreme Overlord of Ice"]]. [[School Shooting|Somehow doesn't shoot the rest of his classmates]] and [[win|even manages to fuck an]] [[Aryan]] princess.
*'''[[Incel|Kazuichi Soda]]''' - Covered in oil, [[autism|socially illiterate]] and a creep who admits he wants to "take apart women to see how they work". [[Simp]]s for Sonia despite her having less of a personality than the boring ass [[self insert]] main character. Basically every [[Anon|user]] of 4chan.
*'''[[KFC|Byakuya Togami]]''' - [[Fake and Gay|Same faggot as last time]], but now he's [[fat]] and [[cosplay]]s as Colonel Sanders. Turns out later he was just the sussy baka imposter who did a minimal amount of trolling. Gets killed at a feast with an oversized knife, a fate all fat fucks should share.
*'''[[Amy's Baking Company|Teruteru Hanamura]]''' - Same as the last retard but he's a [[bisexual]] [[manlet]] as well as fat. He is a very [[unfunny|charming and hilarious]] [[rapist|sex pervert]] who is basically Hifumi but 10 times more obnxious. His witty dialogue is comprised of 50% sex innuendos and 50% food puns. Thank the lord he's killed first chapter.
*'''[[Coprophagia|Nekomaru Nidai]]''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that there's nothing to say about him.
*'''[[Anita Sarkeesian|Mahiru Koizumi]]''' - Redhead [[Artist|art hoe]] who is always [[Feminism|complaining about men]].
*'''[[Boku no Pico|Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu]]''' - Crying [[shota]]bait who got a big titty gf to protect him. Supposed leader of the [[gangbang|yakuza]] but spends all game apologizing for being a fag.
*'''[[Bimbofication|Akane Owari]]''' - Only good character in the series. Big [[bewbs]], doesn't wear anything besides a short skirt and shirt, is too dumb to realise men take advantage of her, works out all the time, loves food, and doesn't mind being naked publicly. Perfect breeding material.
*'''[[White Nationalism|Sonia Nevermind]]''' - Boring [[Mary-Sue]] European princess. Basically spends the entire game being the dumb [[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|rich girl]] stereotype. "Oh my is that dust?! Have the coloured maid clear it away immediately!"
*'''[[Trolling IRL|Hiyoko Saionji]]''' - The ultimate [[jailbait]] [[loli]]. A [[pedobaiting|flat chested, short]], [[psychopath]] who rightfully bullies Mikan and Kazuichi for being the most annoying characters in the series. Becomes busty and bitchy when she gets older so [[party van|take advantage of her baby body while you still have the chance]].
*'''[[Cumslut|Mikan Tsumiki]]''' - Every fetish in the book. Nervous busty girl with no confidence who is always crying about something. She [[whore]]s herself out due to [[PTSD]] from getting [[bullied]] (rightfully so as she's fucking annoying). As walking fanservice, she wears a nurse outfit and is up-skirted constantly.
*'''[[Scenewhore|Ibuki Mioda]]''' - The personification of [[I'm so random|rawr XD, LOL random humor]] that ran rampant on [[Myspace]] in [[2006]]. She's [[Attention Whore|not like other girls]], she's "qUiRky aND pLAys GUItar omg sHE's jUst Like ME!!!!1!". In reality, she's a gimmick [[scene|scenegirl]] character who was killed when her usefulness had run dry. Fan girls still cry to this day and pretend she's a deep character.
*'''[[Slave|Peko Pekoyama]]''' - A slave who spent her whole life protecting men. Spends all day training and only speaks when asked. Big boobs and stays healthy. What all women should strive to be.

==Danganronpa V3==
*'''[[Mary Sue|Kaede Akamatsu]]''' - The character that gave [[otaku|otakus]] and [[feminist|feminazis]] alike 10 fucking orgasms once she was revealed, as they could now play as their very own [[fap]] material. But SHIT THEY JUST GOT PRANKED [[shit no one cares about|cuz she gets pwned in the first fucking chapter of the game.]] Boring protagonist .
*'''[[Emo|Shuchi Saihara]]''' - The true protagonist of the third game who's you guessed it, just some dude with an ahoge. Except this time he [[emo|represents the fanbase even more by being depressed]].
*'''[[Fag|Kokichi Ouma]]''' - An annoying [[fag]] that somehow has a bazillion fangirls despite the fact that he's a stupid asswipe throughout pretty much the entire game.
*'''[[Hipster|Rantaro Amami]]''' - An incredibly [[gay]] version of Indiana Jones, complete with dyed hair. Canonically has 20 sisters, all of which he is has "[[incest|raised]]".
*'''Miu Iruma''' - A blonde [[whore]] who repeatedly masturbates in public. Would be attractive if the voice actor wasn't a [[Do not want|fifty year old woman]].
*'''[[Original Character|Keebo]]''' - An edgy robot who wears a mask and has a gun. Would be perfectly suited to win this killing game but he not only [[Original Character|copied RoboCop's design]], but programming too, meaning the [[autist]] has to waddle around being useless.
*'''Gonta Gokuhara''' - Typical [[down syndrome]] sperg. Obsessed with bugs, ridiculously tall, incredibly stupid, and even has [[retard]] strength.
*'''[[Belle Delphine|Tsumugi Shirogane]]''' - [[Cosplay|Cosplayer]] weeb with dyed hair who is described as boring, even by herself. Oh and she's the secret villain lol.
*'''[[Anthroscape|Korekiyo Shinguji]]''' - Creepy nerd obsessed with [[Racism|"anthropology"]] who dresses like a [[Nazi]] wearing a [[Gimp|gimp mask]]. It's revealed he [[Incest|fucked and killed his sister]] as well as killing multiple other girls to give her "friends" in heaven. Has a bunch of female fans on Tumblr for some reason.
*'''[[Lesbian|Tenko Chabashira]]''' - Most likely made to make fun of the [[American]] [[whores]] who obsess over this series, Tenko is an annoying feminist, as well as a [[Lesbian|dyke]] who is explicitly shown to harass other girls and make them uncomfortable. Despite this, fans still love and defend her.
*'''Kirumi Tojo''' - Tall [[milf]] maid who only lives to serve until she kills the midget.
*'''[[BPD|Maki Harukawa]]''' - An attempt at making [[edgelord]] [[jailbait]], as she [[BPD|is constantly moody and rude to others]]. Despite being [[Anorexia|anorexic]] and short as fuck, she's supposed to be a world-class assassin who pwns people with her bare hands. Pretends to be a [[Pedophile|child "caregiver"]] to save face, her secret is very obvious.
*'''[[Midget|Ryoma Hoshi]]''' - [[Midget]] tennis player who wants to kill himself but gets pwned by the maid of all people. Was just made to insult the fanbases fathers who disappeared.
*'''Kaito Momota''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that I have nothing to say about him.
*'''Himiko Yumeno''' - [[Loli]] [[Wicca]] who is seen as [[delusional]] by the other characters, as no one is retarded enough to believe it - not even the spergy and easily manipulated Gonta. Was written to be another [[kawaii]] girl the fanbase would adore but instead came across as irritating and an example of lazy writing, using one gimmick and making a whole character out of it. The fucking bitch survives all six chapters as well.
*'''[[Negress|Angie Yonaga]]''' - The first and last black character in the whole series. Angie is depicted as a dangerous island-born cult leader who should be avoided. Voiced by a [[Japan|Jap]] and [[United States of Americunts|Whitey]] so the fans hate the creators for not having her be voiced by a real negro. She also dies early on, but sadly isn't the first to be killed.

==The Anime==
Because no Japanese video game would be complete without one nowadays an [[anime]] was released in 2013 which told an even shittier version of the first games plot. The show itself is pretty much unbearable; showcasing cheap animation and a standard of voice acting that would make even [[Tara Strong]] blush. Both the creators of the anime and the devs who commissioned the anime regret its [[abortion|creation]], probably because it exposed their stupid child killing fantasy to actual children who then became fans.

Similar to Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the writers decided one tragedy was not enough, and wanted a second anime. Unlike a retelling of their first shitty game, this told a new story in the same continuity of the games. This anime, Danganronpa 3, was mocked relentlessly by both critics and fans. Some of the shittiest writing in the series can be found in this anime, like killing off characters and reviving them for cheap surprise. The animation was even cheaper, with [[lazy|continuity mistakes]] being a common occurrence. New [[Mary Sue|characters]] were introduced, being even more stereotypical than the games characters, and given how half the anime was a prequel to the games, even the idiot fans worked out they shouldn't care about the soon-to-be body bags.

The release was also piss poor, with the story being split both in the future and past. One future episode was released, then a past episode would release. This hurt the underdeveloped [[retard|fetus brains]] that makes up the majority of the fanbase, and at that point this anime was considered dead and buried by both [[weeaboos]] and dangan-faggots.

==Fan Base==
[[File:Dont upset teen girls.png|thumb|A regular occurrence in the community.]]
Despite the amount of sexual assault and cartoon gore this series proudly displays, the fan base is comprised almost entirely of [[idiots|teenage girls]], who have morphed the series identity from another shitty [[weeaboo]] virtual novel, to an lgbtq hellhole. They demand every character be a [[sexuality]] you've never heard of and ship murderers with their victims. They redesign characters to be fatter, [[disabled|blacker]], or trans in a desperate bid to try convince people the game series made by right wing chinks is actually a digital gay bar.

The community is shunned by most other weeaboos for their extreme toxicity. Prominent members of their community are regularly [[doxxed]] and harassed for not being gay, not being trans, not shipping children, not liking [[fat]] reimaginings of the characters, not like [[nigga]] versions of the characters, not being a pedo, being a pedo, or not liking a particular character the fanbase has decided is a saint, despite them being depicted as a [[psychopath]] who manipulates and kills with no remorse.

==See Also==
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]] - What tried to rip off Danganronpa .
*[[Persona]] - What Danganronpa wishes it was.
*[[Ace Attorney]] - What Danganronpa tried to rip off.
*[[PSP]]
*[[Ripoff]]
*[[Einshine]] - Pedo fanboy who made a shitty comic that rips off the games artstyle.
*[[707Fangirl]] - Another fantard. Only this time a [[tartlet]].
*[[Something Awful]] - Where this abortion of a series was discovered by [[weeaboos|western audiences]]

{{Gaming}}
{{Anime}}

[[Category:Crap]]

Danganronpa

2024-06-29T15:52:06Z

ChessPiece99:

{{pics}}
{{potential}}
[[File:Twink degeneracy.jpg|thumb|One of the many minigames on offer.]]
'''Danganronpa''' (also known as '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2010''') is a game where you a play as a Normalfag by the name of '''Makoto Naegi'''  who got trapped inside a [[School|posh boarding school]] alongside his [[Lie|best friends]] and now they need to kill each other because [[WTF|some bear said so]]. <s> The ultimate goal of this game is to get along with each other in order to defeat big fat meanie bear known as ''Monokuma''</s>,The goal is to complete all 6 chapters, each one of them containing at least one murder (except for 6th chapter because developers run out of ideas by that point, not to mention the lack of people) that needs to be solved in order to advance further into a game. Now unless [[You|you're]] a goddamn [[retard]], you can already see that this is basically a poorly written [[Phoenix Wright]] [[game]] except with more unnecessary game mechanics and [[Animu archetypes|annoying anime tropes]]. Intended for [[weeaboo]] audiences, the game has attracted [[you|losers]] who have nothing better to do in their life, except to jerk off to their favorite anime characters, and then [[Dying alone|crying]] themselves to sleep when they see their favourite characters get killed. This game also got two sequels, '''Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator 2013''') and '''Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony''' (real name '''High School Anime Murder Simulator Volume 3''') who are just as [[Shit|shitty]] if not, shittier then the original, and the one spin-off called '''Ultra Despair Girls''', which sounds like a feminist propaganda hell, but is actually the most offensive and sexist entry in the whole series.

==Who created this shit, how and why?==
[[File:Cocaine-use.jpg|thumb|The fuel needed to write this shit without wanting to commit [[suicide|seppuku]]]]
This game was developed by Spike Chunsoft, whom you might remember for doing those ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' fighting games you played on [[PS2]] as a kid. But the real mastermind behind all this shit is a man called '''Kazutaka Kodaka''', a child molester who despite being a hack writer, has somehow had 5 of his shitty stories be adapted into [[games]]. It is also worth mentioning that he'sone of the biggest [[Japan|japanese]] [[Trolling|video game trolls]] since he managed to [[pwned|pwn]] 33 fucking people in all three main games, thus [[Butthurt|pissing off]] a fuckton of weebs worldwide because their favourite characters got brutally murdered. He also likes teasing sequels that will never get made.
While the name may sound like a laundry detergent, Danganronpa is actually [[Japan|chink language]] for "Bullet Refute", as part of the gameplay has you shoot up court rooms. The original game was intended to be more gory and [[violent]], but the money hungry [[Jews]] at Spike Chunsoft knew that weeb fat girls on [[Twitter]] would one day obsess over this series, and so they made the blood pink to avoid censors, and so they could indoctrinate as many pre-teen losers as possible into their lord of the flies simulator.

The game was released in 2010 in Japan for the [[PSP]]. Since it was a Japan-only game, it never caught the eye of various people in the [[Jewnited States of Americunts|U.S. of A.]] until some [[Something Awful]] goon named "orenronen" made a "[[let's play]]" thread about the first game which caught the eyes of weeaboos seeing it as the second coming of [[Phoenix Wright]]. Eventually the game became so [[overrated|popular]] it got officially released for the Vita in English to the delight of weebs everywhere.

==Plot==
The plot centres around a bunch of teenage [[shota|shotas]] and [[loli|lolis]] raping each other in order to escape the high school from hell they're trapped in. Eventually the purging of the [[japan|chinks]] is halted so a blonde bimbo can be revealed to be behind the murder orgy. Once she is defeated through the power of friendship, the writers suck themselves off by having the remaining cast wet themselves over the "shocking twists", with such brilliant writing as "It was all a simulation, everything is fine." and "It was all fictional.".

The characters all have stereotypical anime backstories, including childhood friend love interest, rich asshole and being [[retarded]] but meaning well. Every single girl is [[rape|violated]] and shown in their underwear. Every guy is shown to be an asshole, become an asshole, or use to be an asshole, and now is a quiet [[homosexuality|freak]].

While the games were originally created just to satisfy the writers [[Sick fuck|fantasies]], overtime the developers learnt to hate their western fans. Danganronpa V3, the latest game, has characters and plotlines that parody and ridicule the western audience, and the ending itself was written to kill the franchise, as well as laugh at the fans for being invested in the characters. They also added new mascots and forced memes so they could make a killing off merchandise. The games were recently released as a collection on [[Switch]], [[Steam]], [[Apple|Mobile]] and [[Playstation]] with the vague promise of extra content just to milk more money from the retard fanbase.

==Gameplay==
Each chapter you click through a powerpoint of generic highschool classrooms wishing for death. Once you've spoken to the future rape victims you hate the least, one lucky individual is killed and gets their body proudly displayed in a serial killer death trap. This then forces you to find google images of possible murder weapons before entering a [[paedophile|McDonalds play area]] to discuss how the tranny was killed. You literally shoot down arguments with bullets engraved with the right slurs to trigger whichever [[retard]] dare challenge your intellect.

Future games changed barely anything due to the [[jews|corner cutting]] devs not wanting to actually have to work. Eventually you explore 3D areas with some of the worst map design and graphics known to man, as well as colour choices that would put [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure]] to shame for most [[faggot|gay jap creation]], giving us yet another reason why [[Hiroshima and Nagasaki|two bombs weren't enough]].

In-between making a fool of yourself in a virtual school, just like [[you]] do in real life, you are expected to socialize with the future breeding stock and [[zaiger|deadweights]] of the world. This forces you to deal with virtual novel text boxs with dialgoue you will neither remember nor care about. The best character is a girl whose only redeeming characteristic is having large breasts, who tells you her [[incest|uncle]] told her not to wear panties and she is genuinely too stupid to refuse to do anything she is told. Beyond her, no other character is worth paying attention to.

==Danganronpa==
[[File:dangan lgbt.jpeg|thumb|[[Oppression Olympics|Did you know that despite all the characters having Japanese names and taking place in Japan, every character is actually fat, queer, disabled, latino, black, or a combination of all of the above???]]]]
[[File:What we all want.jpg|thumb|The developers giving us players what we really want. This is official art lmao.]]

*'''[[Nu-male|Makoto Naegi]]''' - The protagonist of the first game who's literally just some dude with an ahoge. [[No|Way to get creative, Spike Chunsoft.]]
*'''[[Animegao|Sayaka Maizono]]''' - The [[jpop|idoru]] girl so irritatingly needy and "[[kawaii]]" that you'll piss yourself in happiness when she gets killed first.
*'''[[Scooby-Doo|Kyoko Kirigiri]]''' - Makoto's mystery solving "love interest" that barely wants anything to do with him. She is a walking plot device that hands everything regarding the murders to Makoto on a silver platter. [[Win|Makoto, Byakuya, and Yasuhiro get to gangbang Aoi if you kill off Kyoko in chapter 5]]. And yes, this is canon.
*'''[[Negress|Aoi Asahina]]''' - Ambiguously brown airhead with an IQ below 0 and big tits who exists to be fap fodder until the game ends. The artists gave her a tan and she was written to be quite stupid. This meant fans thought she was black, and fight about her race to this day.
*'''[[USI|Byakuya Togami]]''' - Your average [[EDiot]], thinking himself a brilliant intellectual whos not afraid to say whatever he wants. Everyone else is repulsed by him, and he gets beaten up by girls multiple times.
*'''[[Goth|Celestia Ludenberg]]''' (real name: [[Powerword|Taeko Yasuhiro]]) - Pretends to be [[French]], but refuses to smell bad or [[incest|fuck her siblings]]. Is outed for being a filthy [[Japan|jap]] right before she is killed.
*'''[[Byuu|Chihiro Fujisaki]]''' - A [[trap|guy who pretends to be a gurl]], "buT iM NoT tRaNs i SwEaR!!!1!". Works with compooters, cries about everything, and is killed by a jock. Yeah, they're definitely a [[tranny]], and represent half of the fanbase. More useful after his death than 75% of the characters were when they were alive, including him.
*'''[[Basement Dweller|Hifumi Yamada]]''' - [[Christian Weston Chandler|Incredibly fat, disliked by every single character, is manipulated by the girls to do their bidding]], and writes his own [[fan fiction]]. He represents the half of the fanbase that Chihiro doesn't, whether they like it or not.
*'''[[Janny|Kiyotaka Ishimaru]]''' - Possible [[Nazi]] who [[Reportfag|reports any activity he dislikes]]. Goes gay for Mondo after a very [[gay|heterosexual bonding moment at the bathhouse]].
*'''[[Chad|Mondo Owada]]''' - The only cool person. Punches the faggy main character in the face, kills the tranny, works out regularly, is part of a biker gang, and killed his brother on his birthday. Proving that video games are the male fantasy.
*'''[[Fratboy|Leon Kuwata]]''' - [[douchebag|Douchey]] [[baseball]]fag who happened to be the first character made by the art team. They became so sick and tired of seeing his [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|fetal alcohol syndrome]] face that they made him the first killer.
*'''[[Leelah Alcorn|Sakura Ogami]]''' - A large muscle ogre-girl with a deep voice who keeps getting confused for a guy. [[Leelah Alcorn|Becomes part of the 42%]] after becoming [[an hero|an heroine]]. Yup, another tranny in the roster. Still better than the rest of the cast due to not acting like she has brain damage.
*'''[[Waluigis-girl|Toko Fukawa]]''' - Flat chested [[Multiple personality disorder|DID]] hoe who writes crappy romance novels despite being a [[wizardchan|kissless and hugless virgin]]. Lusts after the asshole [[yuppie]] Byakuya because getting treated like shit makes her panties wetter than the dead sea. [[Pixyteri|Canonically doesn't bathe]] and stinks so bad other girls avoid her. Another rep of the fanbase. Literally [[Jack the Ripper|a fucking serial killer]] but the plot ignores this in favor of a plotline about [[Hacker|1337 H4X0R]] Chihiro's AI that goes nowhere and [[fanservice]] of the underage characters.
*'''[[x/|Yasuhiro Hagakure]]''' - A [[conspiracy]] nutter who sadly isn't killed. Has a [[nigger]] hairstyle and is dumb as rocks but [[Srsly|a[pparently isn't black]], which is mind-boggling. Somehow makes it out of the school alive despite being more useless than the negress.
*'''[[Camwhore|Junko Enoshima]]''' - [[Blonde]] bimbo who gets [[pwn]]ed by Monokuma five minutes into the game but not really. Actually a [[schizo]] [[BPD]] hoe who set up the entire killing game [[I did it for the lulz|for the lulz]].
*'''[[Necrophilia|Mukuro Ikusaba]]''' - Some random pogue who disguises as Junko because she's actually her...sister? Twin? Who cares she's fucking [[dead]] lol.

==Danganronpa 2==
[[File:Nagito_kinny.jpg|thumb|How 2 be [[friendless]] forever]]

Oh boy they made a second one and it's even worse than the first. Ramp up the obnoxious personiality traits of the characters up to 11 without changing anything else and it's literally just the first game- same assets and all. This time they super wittily parody their own shitty writing choices from the first game. "Hahaha, memory loss is such a contrived plot point XD" they say before literally reusing the same unoriginal plot device.

*'''[[NORP|Hajime Hinata]]''' - The protagonist of the second game who's also just some plain dude with an ahoge. Wow, SC isn't even trying at this point...
*'''[[NPC|Chiaki Nanami]]''' - A [[mundane|boring and bland]] [[girl gamer]] that [[weeaboo|weeaboos]] still fap to nevertheless. In fact, there's an [[Sick fuck|actual scene of the game in which she's stripped in a bra and underwear.]]
*'''[[Twink|Nagito Komaeda]]''' - The designated whiny [[bishounen]] who babysits Hajime for the first part of the game and therefore is shipped relentlessly with Hajime. He has sexual fantasies of [[rape|raping]] Hajime's sweet ass pretty much every time he's on screen. Nagito has zillions of rabid [[Stans|fangirls]] known collectively as the "Komaeda Kinnies". Why does he have so many fangirls, again?
*'''[[Mr. Hands|Gundham Tanaka]]''' - [[Edgy]] [[Columbine|Trench Coat Mafia member]] who [[furry|molests]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|hamsters]] for a hobby and claims to be [[Brandon Crisp|the "Supreme Overlord of Ice"]]. [[School Shooting|Somehow doesn't shoot the rest of his classmates]] and [[win|even manages to fuck an]] [[Aryan]] princess.
*'''[[Incel|Kazuichi Soda]]''' - Covered in oil, [[autism|socially illiterate]] and a creep who admits he wants to "take apart women to see how they work". [[Simp]]s for Sonia despite her having less of a personality than the boring ass [[self insert]] main character. Basically every [[Anon|user]] of 4chan.
*'''[[KFC|Byakuya Togami]]''' - [[Fake and Gay|Same faggot as last time]], but now he's [[fat]] and [[cosplay]]s as Colonel Sanders. Turns out later he was just the sussy baka imposter who did a minimal amount of trolling. Gets killed at a feast with an oversized knife, a fate all fat fucks should share.
*'''[[Amy's Baking Company|Teruteru Hanamura]]''' - Same as the last retard but he's a [[bisexual]] [[manlet]] as well as fat. He is a very [[unfunny|charming and hilarious]] [[rapist|sex pervert]] who is basically Hifumi but 10 times more obnxious. His witty dialogue is comprised of 50% sex innuendos and 50% food puns. Thank the lord he's killed first chapter.
*'''[[Coprophagia|Nekomaru Nidai]]''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that there's nothing to say about him.
*'''[[Anita Sarkeesian|Mahiru Koizumi]]''' - Redhead [[Artist|art hoe]] who is always [[Feminism|complaining about men]].
*'''[[Boku no Pico|Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu]]''' - Crying [[shota]]bait who got a big titty gf to protect him. Supposed leader of the [[gangbang|yakuza]] but spends all game apologizing for being a fag.
*'''[[Bimbofication|Akane Owari]]''' - Only good character in the series. Big [[bewbs]], doesn't wear anything besides a short skirt and shirt, is too dumb to realise men take advantage of her, works out all the time, loves food, and doesn't mind being naked publicly. Perfect breeding material.
*'''[[White Nationalism|Sonia Nevermind]]''' - Boring [[Mary-Sue]] European princess. Basically spends the entire game being the dumb [[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|rich girl]] stereotype. "Oh my is that dust?! Have the coloured maid clear it away immediately!"
*'''[[Trolling IRL|Hiyoko Saionji]]''' - The ultimate [[jailbait]] [[loli]]. A [[pedobaiting|flat chested, short]], [[psychopath]] who rightfully bullies Mikan and Kazuichi for being the most annoying characters in the series. Becomes busty and bitchy when she gets older so [[party van|take advantage of her baby body while you still have the chance]].
*'''[[Cumslut|Mikan Tsumiki]]''' - Every fetish in the book. Nervous busty girl with no confidence who is always crying about something. She [[whore]]s herself out due to [[PTSD]] from getting [[bullied]] (rightfully so as she's fucking annoying). As walking fanservice, she wears a nurse outfit and is up-skirted constantly.
*'''[[Scenewhore|Ibuki Mioda]]''' - The personification of [[I'm so random|rawr XD, LOL random humor]] that ran rampant on [[Myspace]] in [[2006]]. She's [[Attention Whore|not like other girls]], she's "qUiRky aND pLAys GUItar omg sHE's jUst Like ME!!!!1!". In reality, she's a gimmick [[scene|scenegirl]] character who was killed when her usefulness had run dry. Fan girls still cry to this day and pretend she's a deep character.
*'''[[Slave|Peko Pekoyama]]''' - A slave who spent her whole life protecting men. Spends all day training and only speaks when asked. Big boobs and stays healthy. What all women should strive to be.

==Danganronpa V3==
*'''[[Mary Sue|Kaede Akamatsu]]''' - The character that gave [[otaku|otakus]] and [[feminist|feminazis]] alike 10 fucking orgasms once she was revealed, as they could now play as their very own [[fap]] material. But SHIT THEY JUST GOT PRANKED [[shit no one cares about|cuz she gets pwned in the first fucking chapter of the game.]] Boring protagonist .
*'''[[Emo|Shuchi Saihara]]''' - The true protagonist of the third game who's you guessed it, just some dude with an ahoge. Except this time he [[emo|represents the fanbase even more by being depressed]].
*'''[[Fag|Kokichi Ouma]]''' - An annoying [[fag]] that somehow has a bazillion fangirls despite the fact that he's a stupid asswipe throughout pretty much the entire game.
*'''[[Hipster|Rantaro Amami]]''' - An incredibly [[gay]] version of Indiana Jones, complete with dyed hair. Canonically has 20 sisters, all of which he is has "[[incest|raised]]".
*'''Miu Iruma''' - A blonde [[whore]] who repeatedly masturbates in public. Would be attractive if the voice actor wasn't a [[Do not want|fifty year old woman]].
*'''[[Original Character|Keebo]]''' - An edgy robot who wears a mask and has a gun. Would be perfectly suited to win this killing game but he not only [[Original Character|copied RoboCop's design]], but programming too, meaning the [[autist]] has to waddle around being useless.
*'''Gonta Gokuhara''' - Typical [[down syndrome]] sperg. Obsessed with bugs, ridiculously tall, incredibly stupid, and even has [[retard]] strength.
*'''[[Belle Delphine|Tsumugi Shirogane]]''' - [[Cosplay|Cosplayer]] weeb with dyed hair who is described as boring, even by herself. Oh and she's the secret villain lol.
*'''[[Anthroscape|Korekiyo Shinguji]]''' - Creepy nerd obsessed with [[Racism|"anthropology"]] who dresses like a [[Nazi]] wearing a [[Gimp|gimp mask]]. It's revealed he [[Incest|fucked and killed his sister]] as well as killing multiple other girls to give her "friends" in heaven. Has a bunch of female fans on Tumblr for some reason.
*'''[[Lesbian|Tenko Chabashira]]''' - Most likely made to make fun of the [[American]] [[whores]] who obsess over this series, Tenko is an annoying feminist, as well as a [[Lesbian|dyke]] who is explicitly shown to harass other girls and make them uncomfortable. Despite this, fans still love and defend her.
*'''Kirumi Tojo''' - Tall [[milf]] maid who only lives to serve until she kills the midget.
*'''[[BPD|Maki Harukawa]]''' - An attempt at making [[edgelord]] [[jailbait]], as she [[BPD|is constantly moody and rude to others]]. Despite being [[Anorexia|anorexic]] and short as fuck, she's supposed to be a world-class assassin who pwns people with her bare hands. Pretends to be a [[Pedophile|child "caregiver"]] to save face, her secret is very obvious.
*'''[[Midget|Ryoma Hoshi]]''' - [[Midget]] tennis player who wants to kill himself but gets pwned by the maid of all people. Was just made to insult the fanbases fathers who disappeared.
*'''Kaito Momota''' - Such a boring and forgettable character that I have nothing to say about him.
*'''Himiko Yumeno''' - [[Loli]] [[Wicca]] who is seen as [[delusional]] by the other characters, as no one is retarded enough to believe it - not even the spergy and easily manipulated Gonta. Was written to be another [[kawaii]] girl the fanbase would adore but instead came across as irritating and an example of lazy writing, using one gimmick and making a whole character out of it. The fucking bitch survives all six chapters as well.
*'''[[Negress|Angie Yonaga]]''' - The first and last black character in the whole series. Angie is depicted as a dangerous island-born cult leader who should be avoided. Voiced by a [[Japan|Jap]] and [[United States of Americunts|Whitey]] so the fans hate the creators for not having her be voiced by a real negro. She also dies early on, but sadly isn't the first to be killed.

==The Anime==
Because no Japanese video game would be complete without one nowadays an [[anime]] was released in 2013 which told an even shittier version of the first games plot. The show itself is pretty much unbearable; showcasing cheap animation and a standard of voice acting that would make even [[Tara Strong]] blush. Both the creators of the anime and the devs who commissioned the anime regret its [[abortion|creation]], probably because it exposed their stupid child killing fantasy to actual children who then became fans.

Similar to Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the writers decided one tragedy was not enough, and wanted a second anime. Unlike a retelling of their first shitty game, this told a new story in the same continuity of the games. This anime, Danganronpa 3, was mocked relentlessly by both critics and fans. Some of the shittiest writing in the series can be found in this anime, like killing off characters and reviving them for cheap surprise. The animation was even cheaper, with [[lazy|continuity mistakes]] being a common occurrence. New [[Mary Sue|characters]] were introduced, being even more stereotypical than the games characters, and given how half the anime was a prequel to the games, even the idiot fans worked out they shouldn't care about the soon-to-be body bags.

The release was also piss poor, with the story being split both in the future and past. One future episode was released, then a past episode would release. This hurt the underdeveloped [[retard|fetus brains]] that makes up the majority of the fanbase, and at that point this anime was considered dead and buried by both [[weeaboos]] and dangan-faggots.

==Fan Base==
[[File:Dont upset teen girls.png|thumb|A regular occurrence in the community.]]
Despite the amount of sexual assault and cartoon gore this series proudly displays, the fan base is comprised almost entirely of [[idiots|teenage girls]], who have morphed the series identity from another shitty [[weeaboo]] virtual novel, to an lgbtq hellhole. They demand every character be a [[sexuality]] you've never heard of and ship murderers with their victims. They redesign characters to be fatter, [[disabled|blacker]], or trans in a desperate bid to try convince people the game series made by right wing chinks is actually a digital gay bar.

The community is shunned by most other weeaboos for their extreme toxicity. Prominent members of their community are regularly [[doxxed]] and harassed for not being gay, not being trans, not shipping children, not liking [[fat]] reimaginings of the characters, not like [[nigga]] versions of the characters, not being a pedo, being a pedo, or not liking a particular character the fanbase has decided is a saint, despite them being depicted as a [[psychopath]] who manipulates and kills with no remorse.

==See Also==
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]] - What tried to rip off Danganronpa .
*[[Persona]] - What Danganronpa wishes it was.
*[[Ace Attorney]] - What Danganronpa tried to rip off.
*[[PSP]]
*[[Ripoff]]
*[[Einshine]] - Pedo fanboy who made a shitty comic that rips off the games artstyle.
*[[707Fangirl]] - Another fantard. Only this time a [[tartlet]].
*[[Something Awful]] - Where this abortion of a series was discovered by [[weeaboos|western audiences]]

{{Gaming}}
{{Anime}}

[[Category:Crap]]

Pokémon

2024-06-29T15:43:52Z

ChessPiece99:

{{spoilers|Pokemon Scarlet and Violet are unoptimized and full of bugs and glitches}}
{{spoilers|They're retiring Ash after 25 years, ruining your child hood again}}
[[Image:PokemonGreen.jpg|175px|thumb|right|Remember kids, this once cost money to play]]
[[File:Gardenia vine whip.gif|175px|thumb|right|Leaked Game Freak concept art]]

'''''Pokémon''''' is a horrific multimedia franchise where children [[Slavery|control]] a collection of [[Black people|horribly mutated creatures]] from [[Africa|the underworld]]. It was created [[at least 100]] years ago in the [[Asian|magical]] land of [[Japan]], by [[autism|Satoshi Tajiri]] and his buttbuddies at Game Freak. The cancerous train wreck began its way across Japan in 1996, hitting the rest of the world shortly afterward. It is enjoyed by children, manchildren, housewives, Yakuza, and diseased cripples worldwide.

== [[What]]? ==

[[File:Grand_Theft_Auto_Pokemon.jpeg|thumb|250px|right|It's only a matter of time.]]

Contrary to common belief among [[NORP|those who have sex and go outside]], Pokémon is far more than a TV show based on a cute game 9-year-olds play on their [[Gameboy|Gaymeboys]]. Pokémon can best be described as the cultural equivalent of a [[Cancer|cancerous tumor]], with a [[Hentai|multitude of grasping tenticles slithering their way]] into every form of entertainment known to mankind. If you can think of it, Pokémon has already had [[OVER 9000|500]] official licensed versions of it. These include, but are certainly are not limited to, [[Vidya|video games]], [[Electric Boogaloo|spinoff games]], [[Pokémon Go|mobile games]], [[Animu|cartoons]], [[Electric Jew|live-action TV shows]], [[Porn|movies]], [[Old media|magazines]], [[Comic book fans|comics]], [[Dora the Explorer|children's books]], [[FanFiction|"adult" books]], [[Dinosaur Erotica|''adult'' books]], [[Magic|trading cards]] (see below), [[Plushie|plush toys]], [[Plastic crap|figurines]], [[Shit no one cares about|board games]], [[Camwhore|cameras]], [[Fat|pedometers]], [[Chikins|food]], [[Wetlook|clothing]], [[jewelry]], [[Chair|furniture]], [[I'm so random|cookware]], [[South Park|towels]], [[Minecraft|Legos]], [[Jew|Monopoly]] (not Nintendo's monopolization of the world's [[assburgers]] supply, the actual fucking board game ''Monopoly'' had a Pokémon spinoff. [[Serious business|Seriously]].) and many, many more.

=== Fandom ===

Being so broad and cancerous, chances are even [[you]] played a Pokémon game or watched the anime as a kid while daddy was busy [[Domestic violence|beating the shit out of mommy]]. And while you might have grown out of it around the same time your balls began to drop, some were not so lucky. Many manchildren continue clinging to the franchise well into their 20s and 30s, and are the prime consuming demographic of all the [[plastic crap|shit]] listed above. These unfortunate souls are known as Pokéfags, and they continue to plague the world with their existence and faggotry.

Although not as immediately repugnant as those who [[Sonic|paint their housepets blue]] or [[MLP|fantasize about having sex with horses]], the dedicated "adult" Pokémon fandom is still notable for being a shining beacon of [[Furry|furfaggotry]], [[pedophilia]] and general [[fail]] for [[Basement-dweller|basement-dwelling]] [[Virgin|permavirgins]] everywhere. Pokémon is so [[Cock|large and intrusive]] that its influence is virtually impossible to escape from; its faggotry overlaps with every other gatherings of overweight [[manchildren]] both [[OL]] and [[IRL]]. What's worse, said man-babies insist upon [[Sonichu|mishmashing it with all the other infantile hobbies and interests]] (<s>even</s> ''especially'' porn) they cling to in a desperate attempt to avoid growing up, thus ensuring that wherever you are on the Internet, you are only but a few clicks away from seeing the stretched-out asshole of a purple woodland creature.

Things got so bad that their faggotry clogged up [[/v/]] and forced [[moot]] to open a [[vp|specialized daycare]] just for their sick fetish threads.

Whenever they are not busy masturbating to their favorite [[Jailbait|underage]] Pokégirl being [[Assrape|assraped]] by a [[LOLWUT|3-cocked pastel-colored dragon monstrosity]], [[Faggots|Pokéfags]] can be found online, discussing completely asinine topics such as the exact height and weight of a fictional animal. Do note that few of them actually bother playing the games, which are now universally derided for being crappy and pandering to children. The fact that the franchise has ''always'' been geared towards children rather than balding 30-something "hardcore" fans continues to elude them.

'''Never forget: Pokéfags are pedophiles, furries, or both.'''
{{clear}}

== The critters ==

[[File:Fetish pokemon.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Funny thing is, this is not an inaccurate representation of how Pokémon are designed]]

The central aspect of the franchise are the titular ''Pokémon'' — poorly drawn anime-esque creatures which serve as crude parodies of actual animals. The player is instructed to "''catch 'em all!''" like venereal diseases at a whorehouse, and then force them to battle each other in glorified [[Animal abuse|cockfights]]. Originally there were 151 in total, which even most normal people have some passing familiarity with. Subsequent games gradually increased that number, to the point where there are now [[Over 9000|over 900]] abominations to collect. The Pokémon fandom's predisposition towards [[autism]] is thus easily explained by the fact that being able to actually remember all hundreds of them is either a sign of [[Retarded|mental abnormality]] or literal [[Insane|insanity]].

All Pokémon fall into one of five categories:

* Retextured drawing of a real-world creature.
* [[Furry|Furrybait]].
* Inanimate object given anime eyes.
* Nonsensical heap of shapes and colors.
* Dragon designed by an 8-year-old on coke.

Notably, in a grotesque display of vulgar blasphemy by Pokémon's [[azn]] developers, several Pokémon are described as [[Insane|literal gods of the world they inhabit]]. The theological remifications of this, along with questions of Pokémon sentience, their exact relation to humans, the presence of real-world animals and the morality of pitching them against each other in brutal fights to the death remain unaddressed by Game Freak. Rest assured, though, that all of these are [[Shit no one cares about|hotly contested issues]] in the Pokémon fandom.

As the number of Pokémon increased, so did the creative bankruptcy of the artists. As each new game release requires the addition of a few dozen more of the fuckers, Game Freak have grown visibly desperate in trying to come up with new ideas. New Pokémon designs have paradoxically grown both lazy and overly elaborate, with many ideas being recycled from older Generations for good measure. Unsurprisingly, virtually no Pokémon introduced after Generation III has had any sort of recognition outside the dedicated fandom.

=== Noteworthy Pokémon ===

{{quote|Not only is Gardevoir a formidable force on the battlefield, she is tremendously hot and is absolute eye candy. I adore her breasts, they are of perfect shape, just to be groped. I also just love her animations and her design; every time I lay my eyes on her, I am in shock. I think to myself "Game Freak did a stellar job of designing her". As mentioned by previous commenters, her animations are wonderful. If only they were real, it would be such a blessing for this realm. But for now, Gardevoir can only linger in our imaginations.|[[You|A virgin]]}}

A very partial list of "noteworthy" Pokémon includes:

* '''[[Pikaman|Pikachu]]''' - The infamous yellow [[rat]] whose marketable face is plastered all over the franchise.
* '''[[Charizard]]''' - Everyone's childhood favorite (unless you're [[Blastoise|lame]]).
* '''[[Metapod]]''' - Vaguely [[penis]]-shaped Pokémon whose only move is Harden.
* '''[[Cloyster]]''' - A Pokémon literally shaped like the [[Vagina|female reproductive organ]].
* '''Pidgey''' - The shiny variation is known to [[Shiny Pidgey|cause break-ups]].
* '''[[Hypno]]''' - The brainwashing-Jew Pokémon.
* '''Mr. Mime''' - An unnervingly [[ICP|human-like clown creature]] known to give children nightmares.
* '''Jinx''' - Literal [[nigger]] whose canon skincolor has been the source of much [[butthurt]].
* '''Magikarp''' - It's a fish out of water, and is about as useful as in reality.
* '''[[Ditto]]''' - A shapeshifter with limitless pornographic potential.
* '''Eevee''' - Cartoon fox notable for [[Shit no one cares about|being able to evolve into almost every type]].
** '''Vaporeon''' - Water Eevee. Lusted after by every [[sick fuck]] on the planet.
** '''Sylveon''' - Fairy Eevee. What if Vaporeon, but even [[Gay|gayer]]?
* '''[[Snorlax]]''' - If [[your mom]] were a Pokémon.
* '''[[Lucario]]''' - Furrybait built like a [[Twink|teenage boy on estrogen]].
* '''[[Mewtwo]]''' - [[Lie|Epic and mysterious]], this creature is to Lucario what precum is to cum.
* '''Miltank''' - A [[Cum|milk]]-spewing cow. The rest is left to [[You|the reader]]'s depraved imagination.
* '''[[Lugia]]''' - Perhaps one of the most inexplicable targets for furfaggotry in the franchise.
* '''[[Mudkip]]''' - [[So i herd u liek mudkip|So i herd u liek mudkip?]]
* '''[[Gardevoir]]''' - Many lonely nights have been spent by pathetic virgins [[fapping]] to this.
* '''[[Jew|Nosepass]]''' - A Pokémon so ugly, not even the most dedicated Pokéfan managed to fap to it (not for the lack of trying).
* '''[[Aggron]]''' - Best Pokémon, bar none.
* '''Latias''' - This weird airplane-shaped monstrosity turns into a human girl in the manga. Naturally, people now masturbate to the original form.
* '''[[Lopunny]]''' - A creature scientifically engineered to turn innocent children into furries. Lola Bunny, basically.
* '''[[Garchomp]]''' - Infamously overpowered, and accordingly overused.
* '''Arceus''' - [[God]]. Literally.
* '''Genesect''' - They literally shaped a Pokémon after a car's headlights.
* '''[[Braixen]]''' - A fox lady; one of the most blatant examples of furry-baiting to have come from Game Freak.
* '''[[Zoroark]]''' - What if Braixen, but [[emo]]?
* '''[[Salazzle]]''' - The furbaiting stops being subtle. A "sexy" lizard that enchants its opponents using pheromones.
* '''Sinistea''' - It's a [[Fail|motherfucking teacup]].
* '''[[Slowpoke]]''' - Wait, what's a ''Pokémon''?
* '''[[It's a Kirby, Retard|Kirby]]''' - It's a Kirby, retard.

For even [[Moar|more]] retarded fantasy creatures, check out the [[Template:Pokedex|ED Pokédex]]. Or better yet, don't.

== The games ==

[[File:Bestkorea.jpg|thumb|245px|right|If only it were this awesome]]

[[File:Pokemon SJW Cringe.png|200px|thumb|right|You also gotta choose between '''two''' genders!]]

Despite all the hype surrounding them, Pokémon games are known to be boring, slow and irredeemably formulaic. The player walks around the overworld (called a ''region'' by pedantic faggots), sifting through tall grass in the hopes of being [[rape|assaulted]] by a [[Nigger|wild]] Pokémon, giving the player a chance to trap the poor animal in a little plastic cage called a [[Balls|Poké Ball]]. Occasionally they come across another person (usually [[Pedophile|much older]] than the player character, but occasionally even fucking [[Baby|toddlers]]) who figured out how to capture wildlife for shits and giggles, and a [[Boring|turn-based]] [[Animal abuse|Pokémon battle]] commences.

Despite existing for over a [[At least 100|quarter of a century]], this basic overview never changes. In every game the player's basic goal is to [[rape|catch Pokémon]], [[steal|collect eight Gym Badges]], [[pwn|defeat]] an evil team, and finally beat the [[boring|Elite Four]] and [[faggot|Champion]] of the region. To compensate for their blandness, most games will also contain some pointless gimmick such as diving underwater, farming, Pokémon Contests, massive cockfighting complexes and of course more goddamn Pokémon to catch.

Each Pokémon is categorized into a [[special]] ''Type'', such as Fire, Water, Grass, Electric, Dark and Psychic. Each Type has a disadvantage or advantage over another, although every dumbass kid just uses [[Mary Sue|Dragon]]-types, which ruins the entire sense of balance.

As for actual game strategy, it's pretty simple:

# [[Runescape|Grind]] your Pokémon to a really high level
# Initiate battle
# Mash the A button

And that's it. No really, I'm not joshin' you, that's all you have to do. After a certain point, Type advantages don't even matter because you can just one-hit everything. If you relish in repetitive bullshit, then Pokémon is the series for you.

Each series of games is collectively divided into "Generations," a term that is never used by Game Freak themselves but nobody cares. To date, our planet has been cursed with nine Generations of Pokémon. Pokéfags refer to this as the [[goatse|"core"]] series. Since its genesis, Pokémon has always released not one but two versions at a time. This is solely for Game Freak to suck out more cash from what should have been just one game. Both versions contain only pointless differences that make little to no real impact on gameplay, but thanks to Game Freak's marketing propaganda they've managed to bullshit consumers into believing the difference between both versions is akin to night and day.
{{clear}}

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:larger;margin: 1em 0 0.5em 0;";>Jesus Christ, how many more do we need?</div>
<div class="morphcontainer">
<center>
<div style="border-radius: 0;border: 4px solid #395EA9;width:50%;min-width:44em;padding:10px;padding-top:15px;padding-bottom:15px;font-weight:bold;font-size:larger;background-color:#FFCB05;margin-bottom:2em;"><table>
<tr>
<td>[[File:Pikachu-gen1.png|center]]</td>
<td></td>
<td>[[File:Pikachu-gen2.png|center]]</td>
<td></td>
<td>[[File:Pikachu-gen3.png|center]]</td>
<td></td>
<td>[[File:Pikachu-gen4.png|center]]</td>
<td></td>
<td>[[File:Pikachu-gen5.png|center]]</td>
<td></td>
<td>[[File:Pikachu-gen6-and-beyond.png|center]]</td>
<td></td>
<td>[[File:Pikachu-gen6-and-beyond.png|center]]</td>
<td></td>
<td>[[File:Pikachu-gen6-and-beyond.png|center]]</td>
<td></td>
<td>[[File:Pikachu-gen6-and-beyond.png|center]]</td>
<td></td>
<td>[[File:Sonichu-pixelart.png|center]]</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink1" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent1">Gen I</div></td>
<td> • </td>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink2" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent2">Gen II</div></td>
<td> • </td>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink3" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent3">Gen III</div></td>
<td> • </td>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink4" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent4">Gen IV</div></td>
<td> • </td>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink5" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent5">Gen V</div></td>
<td> • </td>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink6" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent6">Gen VI</div></td>
<td> • </td>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink7" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent7">Gen VII</div></td>
<td> • </td>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink8" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent8">Gen VIII</div></td>
<td> • </td>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink9" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent9">Gen IX</div></td>
<td> • </td>
<td><div id="PokeGenLink9" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="PokeGenContent10">Spinoffs</div></td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
</center>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent1 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Generation I</div>
<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Baby|''Red'', ''Green'', ''Blue'' and ''Yellow'']]</div>
[[File:Missingno_sex.jpg|thumb|left|A special encounter from ''Pokémon Red'']]

The original games are festering pieces of shit only worshiped by manchildren who played them when they were young. Glitch-ridden, generic, and downright ugly, ''Pokémon Red'' and ''Green'' were first released in [[Japan]] for the ailing [[Game Boy]]. There are [[at least 100|150 Pokémon]] to catch, being divided up between both versions for sake of <s>variety</s> money making. Luckily, not everyone was convinced.

People criticized the awful graphics and lack of bug control to the point where Game Freak had to make an improved version: ''Pokémon Blue'', which sold well despite being only marginally better than the previous two.

The games are simple: Choose between Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle to begin you craptastic adventure catching all 150 Pokémon and beating Gym Leaders for shiny little Badges that allow you to brainwash your Pokémon into obeying you. You are also met with your rival, totally not called [[Gary Oak]]. Along the way you run into Team Rocket, a shoddy Yakuza ripoff that partakes in doing petty crimes like abusing and raping Pokémon for [[profit]]. After catching more Pokémon and defeating all the Gyms you then get to plunder the Elite Four and the Champion. Spoiler, it's your Bieber-haired rival.

The games feature almost no post-game of which to speak, really. The only thing to do after defeating the Champion is to catch Mewtwo, which is no challenge at all if you did not waste your one allotted Master Ball.

After the Pokémon <s>anime</s> cartoon was released to much fervor, yet another fucking version was made: [[piss|''Pokémon Yellow'']]. This was simply a poorly modified version of ''Red'' and ''Blue'' that gave you Pikachu as a starter Pokémon instead of the original trio. And no, you can't evolve it into a Raichu.

Another piece of shit game that the kiddies bought up in spades. It was now apparent that Pokémon was here to stay. In all these games there's a secret 151st Pokémon called Mew. You can't catch the fucker through normal means, rendering it to be the ultimate snipe hunt for losers worldwide.

There is also Missingno, which is just a stupid data placeholder that shows up via a glitch that autistic people worship because it looks stupid and acts retarded. The fact you can run into this thing during normal gameplay is proof that these games are among the worst in regards to programming.
</div>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent2 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Generation II</div>
<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Jew Gold|''Gold'', ''Silver'']] and [[Krystal|''Crystal'']]</div>

{{notice|Fun fact: Johto's Day Care, where Pokémon breed, is located on [[I See What You Did There|Route 34]]. Oh [[Japan]]~!}}

[[File:Pokemon Daycare in a nutshell.png|125px|left|thumb|Pokémon Day Care lol]]
[[Image:Crystalpokemon.jpg|thumb|So colorful and amazing!]]

Quite literally exact copies of the original games, only it takes place a couple years after the events of ''Red'', ''Blue'' and ''Yellow'' and the trio of games is listed under Generation II. Thank God this game's programming isn't nearly as shitty as the originals, but, like the original games, you're a 10-year-old boy located in another region called [[Hiroshima|Johto]], with pretty much the same plot as the previous Generation.

Generation II features [[MS Paint|rearranged cities]], the [[Lie|infamous Misty skinny-dipping cut scene]] and a bunch of new Pokémon such as [[Troll|Pikablu]], [[Abortion|Togepi]], [[Orly|Hoothoot]] and [[moar]] PokéGods like [[ho|Ho-Oh]] and [[Martini-chan|Suicune]], racking the Pokémon count up to 251. These games also introduced the gimmicks of Pokémon [[secks|breeding]] and sexes, which makes all of the Pokémon-on-Pokémon [[Rule 34]] ever conceived technically [[canon]], a day and night cycle (a feature which wouldn't be seen again until Generation IV) and a "badass" rival who hates Team Rocket because his dad was defeated by a 10-year-old boy.

''Crystal'' introduced the concept of a [[No girls on the internet|female character]], [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|animated sprites]], [[Nigger|Suicune]] [[bestiality|taking a liking to the player and has a bigger role in the game]] [[stalker|so follows him/her around]] and introduces a new character called [[batshit insane|Eusine]] who wants Suicune to suck his dick and eventually tells the player to also catch Raikou and Entei so you can catch Ho-Oh for [[orgy|some reason]]. Basically trivial shit that makes it no better than the two games before it.

</div>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent3 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Generation III</div>
<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Global Warming|''Ruby'', ''Sapphire'' and ''Emerald'']]</div>

[[Image:drought.jpg|200px|thumb|right|We gotta save dah world!]]
Pokémon has now entered Generation III of brainwashing children. ''Ruby'' and ''Sapphire'' have the same rotten plot as previous games, where you buttfuck [[Whore|Gym Leaders]] across the [[whore|Hoenn]] region for their [[STI|Badges]] to take on the Elite Four. Because the games are in a new location, it also naturally features "new" villains, [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Team Aqua]] and [[Smegma|Team Magma]], two blatant Rocket reskins who [[facepalm|really believe in destroying the planet to make it better]]. Team Aqua wishes to drown the world with the aid of a Legendary Pokémon called Kyogre, while Team Magma wishes to turn the world into a desert with the help of Groudon, Kyogre's transsexual butt-buddy.

Once again, both versions relish in useless differences that only OCD patients would give two shits about, such as version-exclusive Pokémon and which team of fuckbags you meet.

The games introduced another shitty set of gimmicks. You could use a new move, Dive, to go [[water|under the sea]] and somehow not drown, unfortunately. Pokémon Contests were also introduced which serve as dick-waving shows for your Pokémon. Sadly, these games were not compatible with previous series installments, which meant that you couldn't transfer your steroidal Mewtwo over from ''Red'' or ''Blue'' just to get the game over with quicker. Fans forgot to be butthurt upon discovering the joy that is [[Gardevoir]], and to a lesser extent, [[Loli|Kirlia]].

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Copypasta|''FireRed'' and ''LeafGreen'']]</div>

Basically Pokémon Red and <s>Blue</s> Green for babies. These games are the same thing as the [[90s]] originals, but with ''Ruby'', ''Sapphire'' and ''Emerald's'' [[MS Paint|improved graphics]] and music, some new islands full of [[Muslims]] and [[Lame|traded Pokémon which aren't in the original 151 can't evolve until you defeat the Elite Four]]. You can catch Mew, but now with an event-exclusive item that was only distributed at special Nintendo events. Good job, Game Freak.

</div>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent4 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Generation IV</div>
<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Jewelry|''Diamond'', ''Pearl'']] and [[Ass|''Platinum'']]</div>

[[File:Cyrus.jpg|200px|thumb|right|This guy will kill us all! We gotta save dah world again!]]

The gameplay of ''Diamond'', ''Pearl'' and ''Platinum'' is the exact fucking same as every other game in the series. The only main departure is the bad guys. Whereas ''Red'' and ''Blue'' featured an inept crime syndicate, Generation IV has Team Galactic, a fucking doomsday cult led by a friendless faggot who wants to be [[God]].

More new Pokémon, more gimmicks (digging underground for [[shit|Fossils]]), more 10-year-old children to play as and more money for Game Freak. Game Freak has now disproved Walt Disney on the quote "You can't top pigs with pigs." Game Freak has topped pigs with pigs, rats, metal plates, penguins, monkeys and everything else imaginable. [[fact|The games also introduced a type of pseudo-3D overview that simply shows that Game Freak's staff composes of lazy shits who will put in as little effort as possible in a series that's seemingly guaranteed to make lots of money.]]

Also, [[Rule 34|Cynthia and Dawn]] were introduced in these games to the delight of perverts and hardcore Pokéfags everywhere.

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Nostalgia|''HeartGold'' and ''SoulSilver'']]</div>

[[Last Thursday]], after many rumors were circulated on the tubes, Nintendo confirmed that there would indeed be remakes of the [[shit|hit]] games [[Gold|''Gold'' and ''Silver'']] for the [[DS]]. The games have features such as [[Stalker|letting any of your Pokémon follow you around]], a [[Goatse|wide variety]] of Generation II Pokémon and [[Sonic the Hedgehog|pseudo-3D graphics]].

Basically, the new games are just a giant clusterfuck of [[fail]] produced from merging half of the old games together and adding [[shit nobody cares about|useless features]] such as the [[Olympics|Pokéathlon]], [[Plastic Crap|Pokéwalker]] and the [[nobody cares|Spiky-eared Pichu]]. However, as soon as this piece of news was released on the Internet, [[Nostalgia|nostalgiafags]] everywhere creamed their pants. The only thing of relevance to come out of these games is the scene where the rival rapes you in Goldenrod City and leaves what's left of your semen-filled anus for Team Rocket. Deee-licious monies for Game Freak ensued.

</div>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent5 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Generation V</div>

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Nigger|''Black'']] and [[Cracker|''White'']]</div>

[[Image:Hilder.jpg|200px|thumb|right|[[Fat|It is based after the U.S. after all]]]]

The fifth slew of Pokémon games were released in [[2011]], the year shit broke loose. It is the <s>first one [[bullshit|with real 3-D graphics]]</s> DISREGARD THAT, IT'S JUST THE SAME PSEUDO-3D SHIT AGAIN and the Pokémon professor, [[whore|Professor Juniper]] is an [[cougar|older woman]] who will attempt to [[rape]] you once you complete the whole fucking Pokédex, which means that you have to catch all 649 Pokémon in order for her to accomplish this. SIX HUNDRED AND FUCKING FORTY-NINE.

Instead of playing as a 10-year-old brat, you now play as a [[Barely Legal|16-year-old brat]]. Instead of playing in a region based on Japan, you play in a region based on [[Amerifat|Jew York]]. Unova is complete trash anyway, but [[Reddit]] and [[YouTube|JewTube]] will try to preach and polish the shitty turd of a game it is by saying it was the peak of the franchise. Instead of catching Mewtwo, you catch [[Shit nobody cares about|Zekrom]] or [[JustinRPG|Reshiram]]. Instead of fighting doomsday freaks, you fight [[PETA|Team Plasma]].

Team Plasma, much like PETA, are just a bunch of retards because they apparently think the best way to free Pokémon is to enslave more of them and kill anyone who disagrees. Their "leader" is some green-haired fucker named N(igger) Harmonia Gropius (great last name by the way), who was <s>raped and</s> brainwashed as a kid into believing this shit by the [[Cliche|TRUE leader]] of Team Plasma named [[Pedophile|Ghetsis]]. [[Albert Einstein|Fucking genius.]] And instead of playing for <s>fun</s> [[Disregard That|DISREGARD THAT,]] [[Truth|POKÉMON IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE ABOUT GRINDING AND EV TRAINING SO THAT YOUR CHARIZARD MAY BE]] [[1337]], you're playing this shit out of religious vows to Game Freak's staff.

This game is also programmed by [[enemies of the lulz]], and possibly Jews. You can't name any of your Pokémon [[9/11]] or [[Hitler]] unless you use the AR code, or anything lulz-y for that matter such as being unable to name your Pokémon "Death" in Japanese (Shinu). Want more? Hack the game's ROM and look up its shittily written text data and see for yourself. Oh, and you can't swear or use any sexual references. Further proof that this game is fucked up as hell.
The shitfaces at Game Freak and Nintendo have fucked it up enough to the point where you can't even trade Pokémon like Frosl'''ass''' and Co'''fag'''rigus because they're fucking manchildren in the society who dub the [[No Cussing Club]] legit. Oh Game Freak and Nintendo, you unfunny band of [[Vagoo|pussies]].

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Nigger|''Black'']] [[Sequel|''2'']] and [[Cracker|''White'']] [[Sequel|''2'']]</div>

The most pointless sequel ever. ''Black 2'' and ''White 2'' were just placeholders so that Game Freak could work on their next abomination, ''Pokémon X'' and ''Y''. This is almost the same shit, no srsly, even the two Legendary Pokémon in the game are recolors, the music has shitty, unnecessary remixes and you might as well [[An hero|kill yourself]] for having purchased this.

</div>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent6 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Generation VI</div>

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[x/|''X'']] and [[Why|''Y'']]</div>

[[Image:threedee.jpg|225px|thumb|right|Pokémon in 3D...yep]]

The same boring routine of beat up eight Gym Leaders and take on the Elite Four, except this time there is little to do in the post-game besides capture Mewtwo, which Game Freak only put in the game to please ''Red'' and ''Blue'' fags.

The games are far easier compared to previous Pokémon games, with the new and improved Exp. Share and Mega Stones that you're given very early in the game making it so easy and casual that even a brain dead 3-year-old kid could beat this crappy game blindfolded.

Everything is also rendered in 3D; not good 3D, not brick-shittingly amazing 3D, just plain old laggy 3D you'd find when playing an N64 game. Now you have only seventy new Pokémon and some shit called [[Dragon Ball Z|Mega Evolution]] which enables certain Pokémon to go Super Saiyan. The world of ''X'' and ''Y'' is based off the exciting country of [[France]], proving even Game Freak has given up at this point.

As a first, you can now finally customise your character by changing their skin colour and clothes, but not body type, resulting in many [[whales]] blowing up a storm on the internet. However, you can't take off your hat for some reason because Game Freak hates you and only wants your money so they can fund the next half arsed Pokémon game.

Because of Nintendo's shitty region lock on the 3DS, and all the potential money that Nintendo of not-Japan lost by weeaboos and other Japanfags buying the Japanese version instead of their own region's version, this Generation of Pokémon was the first to be released worldwide and in multiple languages at the same time. Now you can enjoy playing the same fucking game for the 26th time in one of either six of the world's worst languages, like [[Korea|Korean]] and [[English]] for example.

Lastly, the [[No Cussing Club]] inspired censor from the previous games came back in ''X'' and ''Y'', and will probably be that way for the rest of the series. Nyo ho!!!

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Alpha & Omega|''Omega Ruby'' and ''Alpha Sapphire'']]</div>

This latest remake has the same ugly graphics as the previous 3D games. This game introduces Primal Groudon and Primal Kyogre, who both, along with Mega Rayquaza, make Arceus and Mewtwo look like complete trash. [http://nintendonews.com/2014/11/debut-pokemon-oras-sales/ Despite being the worst games in theory, they are on track to becoming some of the best-selling Pokémon games of all time.]

[[BAWWW|Nope, no Battle Frontier because it r b too hard 4 kiddies. Suck it, losers.]]

</div>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent7 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Generation VII</div>

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Sun_Microsystems|''Sun'']] and [[Moon Man|''Moon'']]</div>

[[Image:Sun_and_moon_2.png|200px|thumb|left|Seriously, it's the same fucking game all over again]]
[[File:salazzle lava.png|200px|thumb|right|[[Scaly|People jerk off to the reptile]]]]
[[File:Sun and Moon Trans.png|175px|thumb|left|Fuck off]]
[[File:Pokeslav.jpg|200px|thumb|right|The big bad of this new Generation happens to be a Slav.]]

[[Shit no one cares about|The first Generation to come translated in both Simplified and Mandarin Chinese.]] ''Sun'' and ''Moon'' came out as Game Freak's latest farts [[Lie|exclusive to the New 3DS]] and are based on [[Hawaii]].

In these games, taking a page from ''X'' and ''Y'', you can now change into more clothes and now have the option to take off your [[Fedora|hat]]. Taking another page from the past Generation is that now you have the chance to finally play as a [[nigger]] going around and raping Alolan prostitutes in the game's largest city... or you can dress as a skimpy [[Caucasian]] tramp if you chose to play as a female (which you will undoubtfully do).

''Sun'' and ''Moon'' also introduces local variants of Generation I Pokémon, Samson Oak and Red and Green coming out as a gay couple, because Game Freak is now following the trend of banking on [[nostalgia]] to maximise profits from [[Millenials]] working at their local [[Walmart]] or [[McDonald's]] instead of creating more new monsters to catch for the [[Generation Z|younger generation]]. It worked with ''X'' and ''Y'', so why not play it safe like every single entertainment company nowadays?

Despite being toted as "something new," ''Sun'' and ''Moon'' retains the same formula as its predecessors. Instead of Badges, you get Z-Crystals, and instead of beating the Champion, you become the Champion and still have to fight specialized Trainers. Gee, how original. As with every other Generation, this one introduced the designated furry bait Pokémon, [[Salazzle]].

These games are also plagued by long, boring, unskippable cutscenes and general shortness. Many tout the games as significantly harder, but this is false, as anyone with a double-digit IQ can train a [[Furry|Primarina]] and beat the game with her alone. The only positive aspect to this horrendous game is that HM's are now replaced by Poké Rides, meaning that you no longer need HM Slaves to fill up your six slots.

The storyline's also subpar and it's rife with clichés and reeks of "Ohana" or whatever these coconut niggers say. Also, [[Whore|Lusamine]], the main antagonist, [[Tentacle Rape|turns into an abomination]] that you later beat since the story is not worth building up for. Too bad you can't kill her though, since it would make this game much more enjoyable.

And to top it all off, in ''Pokémon Sun'' and ''Moon'' you get to encounter Ultra Beasts, which are basically ripoffs of the Angels from ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion]]''. In fact, these motherfuckers break the damn game since they're all overpowered as all hell. Sooner or later though they will be someone's furry waifu; as seen in Nihilego, a [[loli]] jellyfish and [[Bimbo|Pheromosa]], a cockroach that can sexually attract any Pokémon and human.

You also now have to pay real world money just to transfer Pokémon from past games, with an annual fee, no less. Fantards defend this blatant scam by saying, "At least it's so cheap!" Five dollars annually to host KBs of data on their server. [[Hacking|Totally worth it.]]

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>[[Lazy|''Ultra Sun'' and ''Ultra Moon'']]</div>

No longer able to wait to remake their shit, Game Freak released ''Pokémon Ultra Cash'' and ''Pokémon Ultra Grab''. These are nothing more than an alternate reality of ''Sun'' and ''Moon'' for the the now flat-lined 3DS. Not the New 3DS, but the same old 3DS released back in [[2011]]. The games are practically identical to ''Sun'' and ''Moon'', to the point where one can't help but ask if Game Freak are actively trolling their own customer base.

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>''Let's Go, [[Pikachu]]!'' and ''Let's Go, [[Furry|Eevee]]!''</div>

Ever willing to go back to their own crime scene, Game Freak decided to rehash Generation I '''again'''. ''Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu!'' are [[Nintendo Switch]] games specifically designed for [[Normie|normies who play ''Pokémon GO'']], overly-nostalgic [[Millennials|Millennial faggots]], and 9-year-old aspie children who want to play Pokémon for the first time.

Due to this reason, it only includes the first 151 Pokémons, a bunch of features were removed so even the lowest functioning [[autist]] can play it, and trading can only be done between ''[[Pokémon GO]]''.

Catching Pokémon is done via motion controls (aka. shaking the console or the [[Dildo|Joy-Con]]), which will more than likely cause a lot of [[Fail|broken Switches and television sets]]. It also comes with a worthless plastic Poké Ball, which is good for breaking your TV after accidentally throwing it at the screen to catch another Rattata.

The game also adds two new Pokémon. Meltan, who is a spot of sentient [[cum|jizz]] with a gear for its head, and its evolution Melmetal, who basically looks like a mentally retarded [[Transformers|Transformer]], with the [[Lazy|exact same fucking gear as its head.]]

</div>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent8 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Generation VIII</div>

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>''Pokémon [[Sword]]'' and ''[[ShieldsUp|Shield]]''</div>

[[File:PokemonSwordShieldgraphics.jpg|200px|thumb|right|No, this isn't an image of a tree you'd find in Hyrule Field in the N64 game ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.]]

''Pokémon Sword'' and ''Pokémon Shield'' were the brand new games in 2019, and the first games of Generation VIII. The new region in this game is Galar, which is based on none other than the [[No|loveable]] land of [[United Kingdom|Britain]].

The brand new starters include [[playboy|Scorbunny]], a Fire rabbit who immediately got yiffed to death by [[Furry|furfags]], [[Lizard Squad|Sobble]], a pussy Water lizard who just keeps crying, and [[Monkeydonia|Grookey]], a hyperactive Grass monkey who bangs a fucking stick all the time. The Legendary Pokémon are literally two wolves who look extremely uninspired, and are called Zacian and Zamazenta. The brand new feature in this game is Dynamaxing, which for three turns makes your Pokémon large, and will get really popular with macrofag Poképhiles who wanna see a giantess Gardevoir wrecking the opponent's asshole.

They also included tons of whores to please the [[virgins|fanbase]]. Some smart-ass called Sonia. A sandnigger slut called Nessa. Some underage goth girl named Marnie made to appleal to kiddie diddlers. One designed to appeal to [[foot fetish]] crowd called Bea, and finally a girl with [[inflation|inflated breasts]] called Melony. All got a fuck-ton of Rule 34.

The game has already caused a massive controversy with the Japs at Game Freak not including every Pokémon in the game, and only letting you transfer ones that are in the Galar Pokédex. Cue incels raging because they can't have their [[Lopunny]] in the game. It turns out developers just wanted the game to improve.

Actually it was a lie all along. It turns out everything was reused from the last five fucking games. The Pokémon models are the exact same with shitty animations. The trees look like they're from the [[Nintendo 64|N64]]. The game looks like complete shit. Pokéfags were enraged at the [[azns]] for putting no effort into their shitty game in a series shit to begin with. The [[manchildren]] started protesting everywhere, being outraged at everything related to Pokémon.

When the game came out they want bought it anyways as they couldn't live without their [[Addiction|Pokéfix]]. For the first time ever, everyone realized Pokémon was shit all along (though most would buy Pokémon even if the entire game was a void). The game however broke record sales to become the fastest and second best-selling game in the whole shithole known as Pokémon. Proving that going insane over a shitty game is useless.

Game Freak now added DLC to sell removed content back to you. You don't need the DLC to receive the formerly removed Pokémon in a trade, but no one is willing to trade for base game Pokémon. For the DLC itself, it's laughably bad. A new N64 adventure awaits you, where you can catch 151 Diglett and go to one of those two fancy towers whose sole purpose is to train the ugly little Legendary. Following Pokémon make a comeback, but they only work in the DLC area AND the following is all fucked up. Pokémon will often get stuck behind trees or move so slowly that they disappear from view once you get far enough only to pop in right behind you. But we can't keep laughing at this, Game Freak is a small indie company, after all.

Don't worry folks, get your wallets out and ready as they have "one more" $40 DLC for you to buy, where you'll get a even shittier-looking Legendary.

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>''Pokémon [[I have a 140 I.Q|Brilliant Diamond]]'' and ''[[Shining knight syndrome|Shining Pearl]]''</div>

[[File:BrilliantDiamondShiningPearlcharacters.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Dawn = [[BLACKED]]]]

THE SAME GAME! Now with ugly-ass chibi graphics reminiscent of the widely-panned 2019 remake of ''The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening'' on the [[Nintendo Switch|Switch]]. The game is being developed by another developer, as Game Freak doesn't even try anymore.

The graphics pissed off fans, as they couldn't have their [[shit|''Sword'' and ''Shield'' graphics]] that they already hated, so they can look up Dawn's skirt with the camera.

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>''Pokémon Legends: Arceus''</div>

An open world Pokémon game, something that fans have been wanting since they were little kids playing Pokémon.

The game takes place [[At least 100|300]] years ago where the world was better as know one knew what the fuck a Pokémon was. Then some one came with some creatures and tells some loser "Hey I'm to lazy to find all those motherfuckers, so find them yourself." So now you explore an empty open world were you can catch Pokémon and nothing else.

The game rips off ''[[Capcom|Monster Hunter]]'' with its catch mechanics, making you have have [[Dark Souls|dodge attacks]] to catch bigger Pokémon.

It's Game Freak back at it again with being lazy. The frame-rates are dogshit, and the graphics look like a [[Dreamcast]] game, so it's that much better right? WRONG!

</div>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent9 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Generation IX</div>

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>''Pokémon [[Scarlet]]'' and ''[[Violet Blue|Violet]]''</div>
[[File:IXstarters.png|200px|thumb|right|"Nice Fakémon... wait, these are official designs?"]]

''Pokémon Scarlet'' and ''Violet'' are the new games that were shat out in 2022. Like previous generations, the general theme of the games is based around a real world location, this time going with a nonsensical [[Stereotype|amalgamation]] of [[Spain]] and [[Mexico|every Latin American country in existence]]. Game Freak have decided to [[LARP]] as the [[Spics|lazy beaners]] they depict, releasing the games in a blatantly unfinished state then [[Brb, soup|fucking off to take a siesta]]. The result is the most [[FAIL|boring and broken]] Pokémon generation to date.

After ''Pokémon Legends: Arceus'' demonstrated Game Freak are perfectly capable of making a shittier version of ''[[Capcom|Monster Hunter]]'', the company set their sights on ripping off ''[[Breath of the Wild]]''. The result is ''Scarlet'' and ''Violent'', the first true [[GTA|open world]] Pokémon games. Wherein previous generations had the player linearly progress from one walled off playpen to the next, now you can explore an [[Bethesda Softworks|empty open world]] and [[Shit no one cares about|beat the Gym Leaders in any order you wish]]. Don't get too excited, though; ''Scarlet'' and ''Violet'' still dance to the same repetitive tune as all previous Pokémon games. Many [[Garbage|features]] from previous generations have been taken out or oversimplified for good measure, presumably to even out the innovation and avoid giving the neophobic turboautist fans a [[Mindfuck|brain aneurysm]].

The games of course come with a new batch of underwhelming Pokémon, including - yet ''again'' - more "updates" to older ones. The most notable new gameplay feature (other than commuting to your next objective through a boring field) is a [[rip-off|mechanic]] called [[unoriginal|Terastal]] Pokémon. Like all previous "special" "new" mechanics, it's a transformation you can use once during a battle, giving your Pokémon an [[Team Fortress 2|ugly hat made from shiny crap]], which temporarily changes its Type. Yes, that's it. That's all it does.

Unlike past games, each game has its own professor. ''Scarlet'' has [[Alpha Male|Turo]], a nice guy that faggots want to fuck. ''Violet'' has [[cosplay|Tura]], a slutty-dressing professor, something which fans of the series [[fetish|love to fantasize about]], and who has already gained a [[Porn|following online]].

Despite being a major selling point, the new open world is a [[Russia|desolated, monotonous slog]]. There is nothing to [[Rape|explore]] and no [[Jew Gold|secrets]] to find other than [[OVER 9000|ten thousand]] healing items mindlessly scattered about every [[Tits|hill]], [[Balls|rock]], [[Cock|tree]] and [[Vagina|river]]. All the towns look like poor imitations of [[Korea|Korean]] [[MMORPG]] cities from circa 2006 (with [[Minecraft|matching levels of graphical fidelity]]). To really seal the deal, the game itself is riddled with bugs and graphical glitches, with models becoming deformed even during cutscenes, music incorrectly looping, color/lighting issues, bottlenecked CPU when loading areas, and a whole host of other issues.

Even with [[PS1]]-era graphics, the games are shockingly unoptimized, leading to loads of [[lag|slow down]] and framerate problems. Character models move in-game at [[fail|2 frame per second]], making everyone look like an [[GIF|animated GIF]]. The pop-in is atrocious, as things suddenly appear from distance while Pokémon randomly pop into the ground for the player to immediately catch without having to find it.

And wouldn't you know it, it became the fastest selling Nintendo game of all time, because [[This is why we can't have nice things|fuck standards]].

Are there any good news? In fact, yes! Apparently Nintendo are more embarrassed with this game than they were with ''Sword'' and ''Shield'' so they are actually issuing refunds. Game Freak, when even Nintendo can't stand your shit, you know you done fucked up.

{{collapsegallery|Scarlet & Violet||Scarlet & Violet|<gallery perrow="4">
File:faggotbird.mp4|The water starter is quite flaming
File:pokedex.jpg|The "Complete" Pokedex (which was leaked before the game was released). Expect DLC bullshit that adds more retardation like Sword & Shield
File:gen9trainers.jpg|Meet the trainers... all of which either look like they rolled in from Tumblr...
File:buffdudefemale.png|... or are so jacked up on steroids they look like buff dudes instead of women.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
File:rule34gen9.png|Furfags were quick with the Rule 34
File:graphicaglitches01.webm|Graphical Glitches 01
File:rapbattlepokemon.webm|Rap battles... complete with cringe-worthy dialogue
File:Performanceissues01.mp4|Performance Issues 01
File:edsheering.png|When your in-game music is so shit, the first priority for mods is to remove it.
File:AAAvideogame btw.jpg|Look at the texture quality. AAA Video Game by the way.
File:highscoresgen9.png|Reminder this game is still getting high scores
File:bodyhorrorpokemon1.mp4|I can be a pokmeon too!
File:bodyhorrorpokemon2.mp4|This game is possessed!
File:Trannymongen9.png|Pokemon LG/BT
File:armspazzing.mp4|Hey, uh... is your arm ok? You should get that checked out.
File:nintendorefundspokemon.jpg|NO REFUN... oh wait, nevermind!
File:pokemon-scarlet-violet-bug.jpg|HEY KIDS, WANNA ENSLAVE SOME POKEMON???
File:AreaZeroSpoilers.webm|I'm pretty sure Scarlet is not supposed to be THIS red.
File:pokmeonglichescompilation.mp4|A compilation of other glitches (volume warning, LOUD flute playing)
</gallery>}}

</div>

<div style="padding:1em;border: 2px solid #000;background-color:#fffdf4;align-self:center;margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;margin-bottom:2em;width:90%;overflow:auto;" class="morphcontent PokeGenContent10 hiddentext">

<div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:large;padding:1em 0 1em 0;">Spinoffs</div>
<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon''</div>
{{Main|Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Series}}
[[File:Pokemon mystery dungeon 2.png|right|225px]]
The ''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon'' series is a Pokémon spinoff series of games, the original pair having been released in [[Japan]] in [[2005]].

These games have been praised by otherkin and [[Furries|furfags]], because they allow the player to become a human-turned-Pokémon. In the games you have a partner who forces you to join a [[anti-lulz|rescue team]], or something similar, and explore dungeons to [[boring|rescue]] Pokémon. You go around, beat up other Pokémon up and steal their money to buy mushrooms in the [[drugs|colorful world]] while interacting with others in the Pokémon-only world.

<div style="font-weight:bold;font-size:128%;word-wrap:break-word";>''Pokémon GO''</div>
{{Main|Pokémon GO}}
[[image:pokemon-go-mom.jpg|200px|thumb|[[Your mom]] will be really proud of you]]
''Pokémon GO'' is a [[cellphone|mobile "game"]] and [[meme|cultural phenomenom]] for [[iOS]] and [[Android]] (Windows Phone users get fucked) that came out [[last Thursday]], [[THE CURRENT YEAR|2016]]. The "game" is a copy-carbon of ''Ingress'', so the company spent {{age|2013|11|4}} years coding some Pokéman figures.

In ''Pokémon GO'' you walk around [[IRL|meat space]] with your phone in front of your face using the GPS and the camera to look for Pokémons in an [[augmented reality]] setting (or a boring field if you don't want to look like a spazzing autist waving your phone around in public, which is what 90% of "players" do). It uses a [[Google Maps]]-type interface to lead you to different Pokémon, "PokéStops," and "Gyms" based on landmarks, parks, statues etc. Already, this autism-tier "game" has surpassed the [[Tinder]] app and is soon to surpass the [[Twitter]] app in daily users, so thank [[God|Arceus]] for that.

Encouraged by the hope of catching a [[FYIAD|Dratini]], former shut-ins are walking into the sunlight for the first time in years and attempting to hold actual conversations with others. This has sparked an unfolding lollercaust on multiple levels all in the name of enslaving imaginary beasts then making them battle.

</div>
</div>

{{clear}}

=== Pokémon types ===

Pokémon each have their own types and abilities. This sections lists [[shit nobody cares about|all the single types]]. Pokémans can have two types; if you want [[serious business|serious information]] in finding out what's weak to what then [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Type_chart look here, work it out for yourself and fuck off]. The following were introduced in Generation I.

*'''[[Normies|Normal]]''': The basic non-elemental type for all Pokémon too generic and/or [[boring]] for Game Freak to bother with placing into a better category. Normal-types hold no advantage over any other types and can get knuckled over by [[violence|Fighting]] attacks and can't damage [[Ghost]]-types [[shit nobody cares about|unless you negate its Ghost typing]] or use literally any other type attack. Most Normal-types don't sit well with being just a Normal-type so are able to wield other typed attacks such as [[WTF|Electric, Water, or Fire]] in an attempt to make up for their [[useless|lack of any real use]].

*'''[[KILL IT WITH FIRE|Fire]]''': If you have a favorite Pokémon, chances are it is a Fire-type. Despite the fact a Fire-type can get knuckled over by Water, Rock and Ground Pokémon, they are loved by all and feared by many. Fire-types generally dish out ridiculous amounts of Special Attack damage and generally have high HP and Speed, thus are even able to be competitive against their weaknesses in case you didn't see that coming.

*'''[[Waterboarding|Water]]''': The type with the highest number of Pokémon in the games, with [[at least 100|at least 15]] being introduced each Generation. Water-types are based off of [[Lolrus|marine creatures]] and [[Spongebob|sealife]]. Water-types are for JRPG fans who enjoyed sitting around fishing for pixels all day rather than going out and exploring the actual game. You only really use one so it can be a [[BDSM|HM Slave]] for your Water-typed HM moves or for clearing caves full of Geodudes. Water-types are effective against Rock, Ground and Fire-types. Pretty much any Water-type that can learn TMs can try to be a failed Ice-type by learning at least one Ice TM move, the usual one being Ice Beam.

*'''[[Weed|Grass]]''': If it's not an animal with plants growing out of it or an animal with shades of green on it, it's a plant with legs. Highly flammable, susceptible to Bugs eating it, easily poisoned, birds can almost literally shit on it, easily frozen by Ice, and not to mention generally fucking weak, you should only really choose the Grass-type as your starter because everyone knows that Rock, Ground and Water types bow down to their [[Hentai|seemingly infinite tentacles all in the shape of cocks used to dominate, rape and use them as hosts for their offspring]]. Oh, and [[Smugleaf]].

*'''[[Electric Boogaloo|Electric]]''': The only real reason you'd want an Electric-type is because most Electric attacks can cause paralysis one way or another. The type itself is effective against both Water and Flying-types so could easily dispatch of those fucking Zubats and Tentacools that seem to appear in the thousands. An Electric-type's only weakness is the Ground-type, [[Troll|which can be temporarily nullified with Magnet Rise]]. Electric Pokémans weren't based on [[irl]] creatures that could ''actually'' shoot electricity at shit until the invention of Eelektross. [[Some argue]] that Lanturn was based on an irl creature but Anglerfish don't shoot electricity, [[Lame|they emit light from their antenna.]]
**As of Generation VI, Electric-type Pokémon can no longer be paralyzed, which, when coupled with their already high Speed, make them somewhat useful.

*'''[[Brandon Crisp|Ice]]''': Ice-types normally come dual-typed, with the other type normally being Water. They became increasingly [[unoriginal]] with each inbred Generation, until all Nintendo could come up with were several scoops of ice cream and a snowflake with eyes and [[Neckbeard|facial hair]]. Ice-types are generally shit and are weak to almost everything, so you only catch and train an Ice-type in order to defeat the mandatory Dragon-type trainer of that game, only to find that their Pokémon know Fighting and/or Fire moves that can easily fuck it over.

*'''[[Ground floor|Ground]]''': Often accompanied with Rock typing, Ground is a shitty mix of [[Cocaine|Rock]] and Normal, which means it performs poorly at being either of them. It is the only thing Electric-types are weak to, but anything that shoots out a lightning bolt from its bell-end is piss-weak anyway.

*'''[[Fight Club|Fighting]]''': Fighting-types have muscles where their brains should be and sport a nigger cock. They have lots of [[bodybuilder|physical strength]], but are easily [[mindfuck]]ed by Psychics and Fairies and [[O rly|birds]] for some reason. They can beat up on Normal, Dark, Rock, Steel and Ice Pokémon.

*'''[[Psychic]]''': Known as the [[Final Fantasy VI|Esper]]-type in the [[Weeaboo|Japanese]] version, Psychic-types have powerful Special Attack and Special Defense, but low physical Defense and Health; basically every "mage" character in any RPG in existence. Psychic-types are shit-scared of Ghosts, Dark-types and Bugs for some reason. Went from easily the best type in Generation I to one of the worst types in the most recent core games.

*'''[[Birdemic|Flying]]''': Various [[YOU'RE A BIRD!|winged creatures]], lots of them based on [[Bird is the word|birds]], that [[Oh|fly]]. Unless they're Gyarados. They are almost all dual-typed and usually have low health despite being fast and sporting some rather nice physical strength. They are only really useful when fully evolved or to Fly around once you get that HM. Rock-types can crush them to pieces, Ice-types can serve them [[Frosty the Snowman|frozen]] and Electric-types can serve them [[chikins|fried]]. Only one Pokémon is a ''pure'' Flying-type without [[hax]], and it's a fucking genie.

*'''[[Crack|Rock]]''': Rock-types have shitloads of HP and high Defense, but next to no Special Defense and are normally slow as hell. These are what you spend most of your early gameplay struggling against if you pick the Fire starter, and almost never use in any game playthrough unless you actively decide to use one to shake things up a bit.

*'''[[Bug Chasers|Bug]]''': Anything based off of bugs IRL which is kind of fitting since the entire franchise was based on bug catching. Generally weak and useless, these are the only type somehow worse than Ice. As you'd expect of bugs, they can be killed off by just about everything. Rocks can crush them, Flying types eat them for lunch, and Fire types cook them for the Flying types. To make up for that, they sometimes have an oddly good Special Attack, and many seem to be failed Psychic-types as they [[LOLWUT|usually wield Psychic-type attacks]].

*'''[[Drugs|Poison]]''': Either has fucking high Defense and HP, as well as having somewhat overpowered Poison attacks, or pathetically weak with lame Poison attacks, or were strong but had no Poison attacks at all. Until Generation VI, Poison moves were arguably the worst damage-dealing attacks, and generally avoided unless getting a STAB, but their strength against Fairies changed that somewhat. Get poisoned by one and you have to put up with the irritating long lasting poison effects which made these things a bitch to fight. Poison-types are often employed by the [[Fail|pathetic grunts]] of Team [[cock|Rocket]], and after a battle ended, the [[Zombie|infected]] Pokémon would cause your screen to have a fucking [[seizure]] every four steps you took. Until Generation V.

*'''[[Creepypasta|Ghost]]''': Ghosts are completely immune to Normal and Fighting attacks, [[Self-pwn|weak to other Ghosts]] and largely resistant to Ground-based moves in the later games [[Sarcasm|thanks to the introduction of the Levitate Ability]]. Your only chance in hell to beat one of these is to train up a Dark-type, a Normal-type wielding anything but Normal attacks, or [[Gardevoir|something else]]. Ghosts have the ability to naturally learn and use a move called "[[Swearing|Curse]]" which makes the user [[die alone]]. Ghosts also wield and other lulzy moves like [[Bondage|Destiny Bond]] and [[An Hero|Perish Song]].
**Side note: Nintendo trolled the anime followers of the original Pokémon series, claiming that Ghosts were strong against Psychics. Fanboys would find out only after they trained their Haunter for three days that it was generally useless against Sabrina, because the only damage-dealing Ghost attack in Generation I was a shitty move called Lick, and Haunter [[Pwned|was in fact weak against Psychic Pokémon due to its dual Poison-typing]]. O Nintendo, u so funneh.

*'''[[Dragon]]''': Probably the only type in the game worth a damn, at least until the introduction of the Fairy-type. Overpowered, huge amount of HP, fast, could take a lot of rape and most of them could learn at least one move of every other type in existence. They're mainly used by whiny-ass little bastards who think the world of Pokémon is real. Nearly [[epic Fail|impossible]] to kill and even [[MOAR]] impossible to level-up, Dragon's only weaknesses are [[Amphetamines|Ice-types]], [[Self-pwn|Dragons]] and [[LOLWUT|Fairies]].

Because the game was accused of being "unbalanced" in Generation I, the fuckers at Game Freak added two more types in Generation II to [[Pwn|destroy all the "strong"]] Pokémon. This, of course, made gamers rage even more.

*'''[[Heavy Metal|Steel]]''': Designed to appeal to [[Hardcore|HARDCORE]] Pokémon fans and [[Fullmetal Alchemist|metalfags]]. Basically just the same as Rock, but with even [[MOAR]] Defense and HP, and in an almost cruel twist of irony it now gets shat on by Fire, and Grass Pokémon now suck its [[The_Great_Black_Dick_Hoax|ten-foot cock]]. The only reason you'd ever want one is because they're [[Win|completely immune to Poison]] and the fact that they resist pretty much everything until Generation VI, when their resistances to Dark and Ghost attacks were removed.

*'''[[Emo|Dark]]''': Dark (or in Japseye land, Evil) was invented because Ghost just wasn't enough for the legions of [[faggot]] [[fanfiction]] writers that make up most of the Pokémon fanbase. All of the creatures in the Dark-typing are either [[emo|deep and mysterious]], appear at night or are natural [[cunt]]s. They are one of the few types to be able to use a Psychic and Ghost-type as toilet paper with no real problems, but all Dark types have a crippling phobia of Bugs, and Fairies and Fighting types can wear them like gloves through their arseholes.

After much whining about Dragon being overpowered, there was a new type introduced with the release of ''X'' and ''Y'':

*'''[[Fairy]]''': The manliest type at all. Sylveon is the figurehead for the type which has since become a waifu Pokémon for furries. A bunch of previous Pokémon have since been reclassed as Fairies, including Clefairy, Pikablu and Mr. Mime for some godawful reason. It was introduced in VI because the fucktards at Game Freak realized Dragons were overpowered and Spiritomb needed a weakness to stop people cheating in a Wondertomb.

===[[DO NOT WANT|Status conditions]]===

During the [[awesome]] Pokéman battles which start, either when you [[Animal abuse|step on a Pachirisu]], a [[fat]] [[faggot]] with nothing better to do challenges you to a fight for no real reason at all, or your imaginary friend from [[irl]] challenges you and you hook up your Game Boys together so you can start fightin' your Pokémans, Status conditions are one of the things Pokéman can do to each other to piss each other off. They are as follows:

*[[Cripple|'''Paralysis''']]: A condition inflicted most commonly by Electric attacks, alongside Body Slam, Stun Spore and Glare. Annoyingly ''the'' most common status condition you can ever fucking get. Paralysis slows the sufferer down to 25% '''''and''''' gives them a chance of being unable to attack on any given turn. ''Your'' Pokéman will never attack when paralyzed, whereas the enemy will without a problem. You can recover from paralysis with status condition healing items. Combine with Attract and Confuse Ray for '''EXTREME TROLLING'''. Any Pokéman with the ability Limber, like Meowth or Hitmonlee, is immune to paralysis, so you might want one on your team. [[over 9000|Just Saiyan]].

*[[AIDS|'''Poison''']]: A less common but equally stupid condition wherein the poisoned Pokéman gradually loses HP '''even when you are out of battle''', shown when your game screen has a fucking seizure every four steps. Poison be cured with an Antidote, which is fortunately a very common item. Pokémans with the Immunity Ability, like [[You|Snorlax]], Poison-types, and Steel-types are all immune to it. In the first three Generations, your Pokémon could faint from being poisoned outside of battle. In Generation IV, they [[bullshit|magically recover from poison while on the verge of death at 1HP]] and in Generation V they stay poisoned but don't cause the screen to seizure or lose health by walking four steps, essentially making it no different to being burned, minus shitting on the Attack stat. [[Pussies|As of Generation VI, poisoning no longer harms Pokémon after a battle]].

*'''Badly poisoned''': Copy/paste of being poisoned, but does more damage as more turns are taken in battle. [[Sarcasm|Because that's totally fair and balanced gameplay]].

*[[Rape|'''Sleep''']]: Sleep stops your Pokémans from doing '''''anything''''', unless you use Snore or Sleep Talk. It can either last a long time or not very long at all, essentially mind-fucking you into choosing whether to use an Awakening or not. If you're really unlucky, it could last five full turns. Any Pokémon with Dream Eater, usually the one that put you to sleep in the first place, can [[troll|rape your health while healing themselves]] at the same time. Any Pokéman with [[You|Insomnia]] or Vital Spirit is immune to sleep, even if it tries to cause it on itself by using a move such as Rest.

*[[Sophie Delezio|'''Burn''']]: [[Captain Obvious|Burns are most often inflicted by Fire attacks]]. When affected by a burn, the Attack stat is shat all over similar to how paralysis shits on Speed, and you lose HP every turn. It doesn't make your game screen have a seizure every four steps outside of battle though, and can be cured with a Burn Heal. Pokémon that are Fire-types, or have the Water Veil Ability, cannot be inflicted with the burn status.

*[[Brandon Crisp|'''Freeze''']]: Caused by at least 50% of Ice attacks and works pretty much the same way as sleep, by making your Pokémon useless in that it can't fight back. It rarely lasts more than one turn though and has no attacks that instantly causes it. The Pokéman in question can be defrosted in one of five ways; It can defrost randomly on its own, can be cured with an Ice Heal, [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|can be defrosted when Fire attacks are used against it]], is immune to being frozen with the Magma Armor Ability and it can defrost ''itself'' using most Fire attacks. A pure fail.

*[[Slut|'''Attract''']]: Psuedo-[[Rule 34]]. Pokémans [[Gardevoir|can whore themselves out]] to the [[heterosexual|opposite gender]] and your Pokémon falls in love with it. It stops [[at least 100]]% of all your attacks from doing anything when your Pokémon starts pining for [[dat ass]] and won't do anything for that turn. [[Trap|Unknown genders]] can't learn Attract, but [[Ditto|those who]] [[Mew|can use it]] [[Hax|by other methods]] [[Dying alone|can't attract anyone]]. Combine with paralysis and/or confusion for '''EXTREME TROLLING!''' Any Pokémon with the Oblivious Ability or [[homophobia|the same gender]] is immune to it.
**On another note: [[RAGE|FUCK YOU WHITNEY AND YOUR FUCKING MILTANK, WHY COULDN'T MY STARTER POKÉMON BE A GIRL?! FUCKING CUNT BITCH!]]

*[[Transexual|'''Confusion''']]: Used only as a last resort or by NPCs to piss you off. The affected Pokéman can fail attacks and punch itself in the face in the process. Higher Attack power means it slaps itself harder, which is why people like the attack [[DAT ASS|Swagger]]. Confusion lasts 500 turns for you, lasts one turn for the opponent. Invest in Confuse Ray for '''EXTREME TROLLING!''' Unless of course it has the Own Tempo Ability.
**On another note: [[BUTTHURT|FUCK YOU TENTACOOL AND ZUBAT!!! YOUR ASSHOLES WILL BE MINE WHEN I FIND A WAY TO ENTER POKÉMON GOLD AND SILVER AND RED AND BLUE!!! STOP APPEARING WHEN I GO INTO CAVES AND OCEANS! YOU BITCHES RUINED A 7-YEAR-OLD'S GAMING EXPERIENCE!]]

*[[Wicca|'''Curse''']]: A lulzy condition inflicted by Ghost-types. The user becomes [[emo]] and [[Fetish|sticks needles in itself]] using some odd voodoo shit, taking half its health to lay a curse on your Pokémon. Every turn, just less than 1/4 of your Pokémon's health will be taken until it dies of severe depression. Massive trolling and butthurt ensues from its use. [[DO IT FAGGOT|Use it often]] and use it against real people to piss them off.

*[[STD|'''Pokérus''']]: Not a typical status ailment with negative effects in battle; basically your Pokéman contracted [[AIDS|Pokérus]] from [[Rape|fighting]] a [[Prostitute|wild Pokéman]], but you must have battled it and preferably defeated it to catch it, and the virus is really fucking rare. It can be spread to all your other Pokéman, regardless of gender or species. Hell, it can even be passed onto [[babyfuck|Eggs]]. It can't be cured, and it goes away over time; [[Forever Alone|but the effects of the virus remain for the rest of your Pokéman's life]]. [[Steroids|Pokérus is a special STD that turns your Pokéman into the strongest fucking thing evar whenever it levels up]], and is really fucking rare despite the fact that it can be spread like the common cold.

== The anime ==

[[Image:Ashmaid.png|200px|thumb|left|Professor Oak learned Ash's [[gay|secret]]]]
[[Image:Its-a-trap.gif|200px|thumb|right|What? You thought they couldn't out-gay the maid?]]
[[File:Ass ketchup.png|200px|thumb|The '''NEW''' and '''PROGRESSIVE''' Ass Ketchup]]
The Pokémon cartoon (compulsively referred to as the anniemay by fanfaggots) tells the story of [[hermaphrodite]] Ash Ketchum, whose hollow life is devoted entirely to being a Pokémon fanboy. Therefore, he teams up with his best buddy and [[life partner|partner]], the electrified [[rat]] [[Pikachu]], and sets out to [[obsessive-compulsive disorder|catch 'em all]].

Ash is soon accompanied by Misty O'IttyBittyTitties, former [[16-year-old girl|underage]] [[fetish]] model. He is also joined by [[Brock Turner|Brock]] Statue Tory, all around [[pervert|horn dog]] and charter member of the [[cunt|Nurse Joy]] appreciation club. A running joke involves Brock [[cum]]ming in his pants whenever he sees anything with [[tits|breasts]], which happens with [[Over 9000|amazing frequency]] considering his [[Azn|eyes are permanently closed]]. However, the reason behind Brock's weird-ass behavior is his [[homosexuality]]. This is the only explanation why he has never had a [[girlfriend]], and why he loves to [[Cock|cook]]. As the rest of the gang are major [[homophobic|gay-bashers]], he hides this with his [[Not gay|girl "obsession."]]

Ash is chased around the world by Team Rocket members [[lesbian|Jessie]], [[homo|James]], and their annoying retarded [[cat]]. They supply [[At least 100|95]]% of this show's [[lulz]] in the form of [[fail|endless]] attempts to steal Pikachu so that their boss would [[GG|appreciate them]] again, not that he did anyway. They are also the subject of many [[flame wars|shipping wars]] among Poké[[fans]] who are just too [[dumb]] to realize James is [[gay]].

[[Image:1371831529308.gif|200px|thumb|right|Pokémon do not like [[you]], it's a [[fact]]]]
[[Image:ITS A TRAP POKEMON26.jpg|thumb|left|[[panty shot|Screenshot]] from the 9th season]]
Misty later leaves the show after getting [[pregnant|knocked up]] and is promptly replaced by May, a [[jailbait]] [[whore]] with breasts that more than make up for Misty's lack thereof. May brings along her brother Max, an incestuous [[Shotacon|little]] [[fuckface]], who seems to [[Mega ultra super genius|know more about Pokémon than Ash]]. In order to boost ratings, Dawn is then introduced to the show, and considering that she's a 10-year-old, is an even bigger [[whore]] than the other girls mainly due to her [[pantyshot|extremely short skirt]]. Having the [[Lolicon|smallest chest]], she is clearly [[fanservice]] for many of the show's viewers.

The series has continued for far more years as well as seasons than it ever should have, showcasing Ash and some [[pussy|traveling partners]] going throughout the region of the games currently being promoted. We have seen Ash paired up with [[nigger|Iris]] and [[fag|Cilan]] as they explored the Amerifat Unova region. Then he adventures of Kalos, where Ash was now accompanied by [[nerd|Clemont]], his [[fuckface]] little sister [[loli|Bonnie]], and an even larger than Dawn [[whore]] Serena. Then , he's accompanied by [[nerd|Sophocles]], [[douche|Kiawe]], and even worse than Serena [[whores]], [[cunt|Lille]], [[jailbait|Mallow]], and [[loli|Lana]], a legit harem of girls in the Alola Region. <s>Sadly, Ash will never, ever see himself win an official championship as long as the show keeps going. [[beta|Nor will he get any pussy]], while Team Rocket will continue to be failures who stalk a kid for a rat for thousands of more episodes to come.</s> [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS]] Ash actually won, but only because the League was so shitty, that you could probably win with a [[Fish|Magikarp]].

The series has rebooted to appeal to [[nostalgiafag|nostalgiafags]] with ''[[Sellout|Pokémon Journeys: The Series]]'', now Ash will go through all regions without his retarded friends, and will instead be adventuring with [[azn|Goh]], basically another Ash.

The cartoon is solely enjoyed by people who play the games. Compulsive, autistic, fat, basement-dwelling freaks whom don't receive any love from their mommies and daddies. Watching the Pokémon cartoon is considered by many to be even lower than enjoying a [[Dan Schneider|Nickelodeon shit-com]]. That is fucking low.

=== 4Kids and drama in the U.S. ===
The Pokémon anime was originally dubbed for U.S. distribution by [[4Kids]]. Several episodes were [[banhammer]]ed by 4Kids for reasons varying from Brock sneezing during the [[SARS]] epidemic, to an overabundance of [[evil]] [[Japan|Japanese culture]], to James showing off his [[shemale|new boobs]], to [[Porygon]]-induced [[subliminal messages]] that would cause [[seizure]]s and the buying of more Pokémon [[crap|merchandise]]. This topic can cause [[fanboys]] to rant for hours on the Internet.

Eventually, Pokémon USA stepped in and yoinked the anime away from 4Kids. All the "fans" who had previously bitched about how 4Kids was [[sodomizing]] the series now acted like it was the [[apocalypse]] that the voice actors had been replaced. They set up [[at least 100]] online petitions to reinstate the old voices. Pokémon is clearly [[serious business]]. To make the lulz even better, one of their voice actors, Eric Stuart (who [[secks|did]] James and Brock) posted about the voice actor changeover on his website, whining like a [[13-year-old boy]] and spamming his own guestbook out of [[angst]].

=== Ways to watch the anime ===
There are two ways to watch the anime in English:
* The shitty dub, now managed by TPCi
* Even shittier subtitled anime, managed by [[autistic]] subber groups

The dub is utter shit, because the voice actors really only put in a minimal amount of effort for a product that automatically generates money for Nintendo and all other parties, meaning the quality is a mere shadow of even the 4Kids version of the show from back in the day... which, you can imagine, is pretty pathetic. But in all honesty, the dub is still infinitely better than shit autistic shit that subber groups release, because at least the dub is internally consistent and is more focused on making shit sound more natural to English speaking people. Y'know, NORMAL people who just want to be entertained by a good (lol) cartoon show.

[[File:PokemonAnime-subsExample.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Example of subber's autism: Everything is in English, except for the names. Because English names is what the dub uses, and is therefore clearly shit.]] On the other hand, the shit released by subber groups is just fucking awful, and no level of "hard work" justifies the amount of autism sub fans have for it. Just poke around any thread about the CARTOON on [[vp|/vp/]], and you'll see just how terrible sub fans are, as well as how easily triggered they are. Want to see it in action? Then just try any of the following:
* Ask for a version of the subs which replace all the Japanese names with English names... y'know, because you speak English, not Japanese
* If none are provided, take a subber's release and replace everything yourself, then post the results
* Ask why Japanese names are used at all for an English language sub to begin with
* Point out that it's impossible for Japanese to be exactly translated into English, and thus their attempts for "authenticity" with subs is pointless
:* ''Sub-point'': constantly bring up Japanese's lack of articles (like "a" and "the") and ask why any subber uses them if authenticity is the goal
* Ask why the subs aren't just pulled from the dub
* Defend the dub in any way
:* For example: point out that "Satoshi" is not his real name, but that it's "Ash," as proven by "Ash's Greninja" in the ''Pokémon Sun''/''Moon'' demo
:* Alternatively, point out that if they don't want to use anything that reminds them of the dub, then why are they using the same language as the dub?
* Defend the more liberal subs over the more literal subs, then point out how people like the liberal subs better
* Redistribute someone's subs on your own website, and if they complain, point out that what they're doing is illegal anyways and say "whaddya gonna do, arrest me?"

Yeah, so, for some reason, subbers think that using Japanese names in the subs is the more superior choice... because apparently the English names for characters is a decision made by the show's dubbers (as opposed to a decision made from the top of Game Freak itself) and is therefore inauthentic to the nature of the original Japanese show. And subfags will defend this as much as possible, despite the fact that no one (apart from the subbers themselves, and that's debatable) actually speaks Japanese and thus needs English subtitles to be written up for them.

But hey, we here at Encyclopedia Dramatica are in it for the lulz, so expect a release of the "best" subs with all of the Japanese names replaced with their English ones soon.

== The comic ==
<center>[[Image:suffering.jpg|600px|]]</center>
<center>'''The world of Pokémon is unforgiving.'''</center>

As if the world didn't have enough Pokéshit, we now have fucking [[otaku|<s>manga</s>]] comics about it. The one most fantards give a shit about is Pokémon Adventures, known as Pokémon Special by weebs. This comic is the bastion wet dream of Deviantards, shippers, and [[edgy|9-year-old children who enjoy bloody violence]]. Rife with violence, plundering, blood, Pokémon getting killed, people getting killed, evil Gym Leaders, evil Elite Four, Trainers being turned into stone, time travel, drama, hate, and of course nudity. Pokémon Special (or PokéSpe for short) is a fucking dream come true, even being endorsed by the original game's creator [[fag|Satoshi Tajiri]]. The main protagonists are swapped around, which would give an air of refreshment with each new story arc - however this is a let down once you realize they are named after the games. We are left with shit like a boy named Gold and a girl named White.

In truth, it's just a shitty overblown Marvel-tier mess that only gets points above the cartoon because it doesn't star that cocksucker Ash Ketchum. Even then, the comic's version of Red (Ash's basis) is just as bad. It's all weak as shit compared to [[Barney|real hardcore series]].

== Videos ==
<center>{{fv|pokemonfanvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>eGvM0CC2pu0</youtube><center>'''Your average fan'''</center>
|<youtube>-XsSoMBVF3w</youtube><center>'''[[Dcigs|Niggers]]'''</center>
|<youtube>-px_FYHtYIw</youtube><center>'''[[Guido|Guidos]]'''</center>
|<youtube>h9o5_W6hn9k</youtube><center>'''Retards'''</center>
|<youtube>cmNb3xJFzkc</youtube><center>'''[[Christians]]'''</center>
|<youtube>r0OowSxgEcE</youtube><center>'''Momma's boys and Misty fappers'''</center>
|<youtube>fC9bQrXWXsw</youtube><center>'''Faggots'''</center>
|<youtube>JbV6sZORJak</youtube><center>'''Two dudes ranks who’s the hottest Pokemon.'''</center>
|<youtube>hNqtfFXq00k</youtube><center>'''Choose wisely'''</center>

}}</center>

==Galleries==
{{collapsegallery|Official manga|Official manga|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Poke01.jpg|Page one
Image:Poke02.jpg|Page two
Image:Poke03.jpg|Page three
Image:Poke04.jpg|Page four
Image:Poke05.jpg|Page five
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Poke06.jpg|Page six
Image:Pikachu gets raped.jpg|[[Baby fuck|Look familiar?]]
Image:Brockwillstealurpenis.jpg|I think Pokémon is a cool guy, eh, steals penises and doesn't afraid of anything
Image:Brockwatchesjessetakeashit.jpg|Brock watches Jessie take a [[crap|shit]]
</gallery>}}
<br>
{{collapsegallery|[[Pokémon/Images|See More]]||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:How Blastoise pees.jpg
Image:Pidgey fainted.jpg
Image:Pokemon maids.jpg
Image:Miltank.jpg
Image:Super Effective, Shorts.jpg
File:AshCame.jpg
</gallery>|}}
<br>
{{collapsegallery|[[Pokémon/rule34|See More]]||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Jessie and Crimson Viper.PNG
Image:Jessie and Bayonetta.PNG
Image:Hilda Reiq.jpg
Image:Pokeboy.jpg
Image:Vaporeon gangbang.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:melony.jpg
Image:melony 1.jpg
Image:melony 2.jpg
Image:melony 3.jpg
Image:melony 4.jpg
Image:melony 5.jpg
Image:melony 6.jpg
</gallery>|}}
<br>

==See also==
[[File:Pokemon reproduction.png|300px|right|thumb|What '''REALLY''' happens at the Pokémon Day Care]]
*[[AGNPH]]
*[[Asperchu]]
*[[Braixen]]
*[[Bulbagarden]]
*[[Charles Ziese]]
*[[Chris-chan]]
*[[Cynthia]] - Because Nintendo is obviously [[Truth|sexist]].
*[[FemaleGoodra]]
*[[Flannery]] - The Waifu Human
*[[Furries]]
*[[Gardevoir]] - The Waifu Pokémon.
*[[Gary Oak]] - That is one badass motherfucker!
*[[Japanese Bug Fights]] - IRL Pokémon.
*[[Jessica Nigri]]
*[[JustinRPG]]
*[[KingEmpoleon]] - Pokéfag that [[Pwn|KO'd]] his mother in 2011.
*[[Lopunny]] - The furfag's Pokémon of choice.
*[[Lucario]] - Same as above.
*[[Mewchan]]
*[[Mudkipchan]]
*[[Nuzlocke]]
*[[Pamperchu]]
*[[Pedophilia]]
*[[Pogs]] - Similar [[Retard|fandom]].
*[[Pokédads, Poképarents or Pokésiblings]]
*[[PokeDream]]
*''[[Pokémon Go|Pokémon GO]]''
*[[Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Series|''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon'' series]]
*[[Poképuns]]
*[[PokeShipping]]
*[[Rubén Puig Lecegui]] - A fine example of how '''to''' act in the fandom.
*[[Shipping]]
*[[Shin Megami Tensei]] - IRL Pokemon with actual demons.
*[[Slash Firestorm]] - Rule 34s Gardevoir and human beings.
*[[Smogon University]] - The [[tourneyfag|tourneyfags]] of Pokémon.
*[[vp/|/vp/]]
*[[Weaboo]]
*[[What is Brock?]] - The question that has plagued mankind for centuries.
*[[Willg8686]] - Retarded Pokémon fan.
*[[Zoroark]] - More furry trash.

==External links==
*[http://pokemon.com Official Website]
* {{UkrED|Покемон|UkrDramatica's article on this}}
*[http://pokemonlearningleague.com Faggotry is power]
*[http://go-pokemon.com Official TCG Website]
*[http://trsrockin.com/fools06.html Typical fansite]
*[http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=33826783 '''BROCK WILL STEAL YOUR PENIS''' is a meme]
*[http://z9.invisionfree.com/Pokeclipse/index.php?act=idx Pokémon are real]
*{{Pastebin|f71e6728f|Creepy urban legend about the music at Lavender Town}}
*[http://thenintendodomain.forumotion.com/t1097-porkemon-fan-fiction/ Porkemon Fan Fiction] The greatest fanfic of all time. Oh, and be sure to read all the chapters and not just the first post.

===[[4chan]]===
*[http://boards.4chan.org/vp/ /vp/] - [[moot]]'s board for Pokémon.

{{Nintendo}}
{{Anime}}
{{furfaggotry}}
{{Gaming}}
{{Cyberpets}}
{{pokedex}}

[[Category:Anime]]
[[Category:Gaming]]

{{timeline|Article of the Now July 19 and 20, [[2022]]|[[Your Mom]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Moviebob]]}}

Pope

2024-06-29T13:29:16Z

ChessPiece99: Added their real names

{{spoiler|pedophilia is now old news! All news about the Pope will now be flowery}}
<br>
[[File:Darth vader pope.jpg|thumb|250px|"No, I am your Holy Father"]]
[[File:Pope retard.jpg|thumb|220px|Only the Pope is infallible]]
The '''P.O.P.E''' (Peoples Own Pedophile Emperor) is the [[Final boss]] of the world's Roman Catholics as well as the ringleader of the world's largest pedophile group. He is best known for his [[homo|flamboyant]] paper hats, his time-traveling powers, and (for a few years) looking exactly like the evil Emperor Palpatine from ''Star Wars''. The Pope is a [[Sock Person|sock-person,]] not unlike [[Dr Who|Dr Who,]] and has regenerated 9,002 times since the start of the show. After a climactic light-saber fight at the end of the last season, Pope Sidious's hand was severed and grew into the current Pope, a short, tubby, bald old man. Pope Sidious is a Nazi and Pope Tubby is a hippie. Both of them remain alive at the time of writing, creating a potential [[Divide by zero|paradox]] since no-one knows what will happen to the space-time continuum if two infallible beings disagree with each other. The Vatican has been renamed "Frankie and Benny's" in their honor.

==Pope Francis==

'''Powerword:''' Jorge Mario Bergoglio

'''Elected:''' 13 March 2013<br>
'''Murdered:''' TBA

Pope Francis is a living saint. No one is more moral, more humble, or more right, and if you forget, non-Catholic news broadcasters are more than willing to remind you about how great he is. He is beloved by virtue of not being German or from Europe and by virtue of being less staunchly Catholic than his dogmatic predecessors.

Of course, this interpretation is predicated upon that you're not some backwards, racist Republican who prefers not to have all your property looted to fund an influx of raping immigrants gearing to overthrow your nation. [http://www.newsweek.com/pope-francis-says-he-opposes-marijuana-legalization-255708 Also you're not allowed to drown your sorrows in weed.]<br><br>

<center><youtube>Q6ju17D8WAk</youtube><br>'''Above:''' Pope Francis gets pulled over, lands on cripple, kicks off</center>

===Franciscan photos etc===
<br>
{{cg||PopeFrancis|center|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Pope francis rapper.jpg|I'm never gonna die, never heard of death -
File:Pope francis raps again.jpg|- energy can never be destroyed only the flesh
File:Pope francis rapper 2.jpg|Break!
File:Pope francis puff daddy video.jpg|I looked at my kingdom/ I was finally home/ To sit on my throne/ as the Bishop of Rome
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Pope francis hash cake.jpg
File:Pope francis 6.jpg|Cool epistle, bro!
File:Pope francis crucifix ferule fixed with duct tape.jpg|Papal penny-pinching
File:Pope francis says fuck off.jpg|Fuck your vow of chastity, I'm goin home!
File:Pope francis 1.jpg
File:Pope francis 2.jpg
File:Pope francis 3.jpg
File:Pope francis 4.jpg
File:Peter sellers merkin muffley kubrick dr strangelove.jpg|Early publicity photo
File:Faggotpope.jpg|FAGGOT
File:Popecuck.jpg|CUCK
Image:GTA_vatican_city.jpg
</gallery>}}<br>
<br>

==Pope Benedict XVI==
[[File:Scumbag Pope chosen by god - quits.jpg|thumb|200px|{{squote|Wait, we can quit?|Jesus|while being crucified}}]]
[[File:Queen not a quitter.jpg|thumb|right|200px|A Protestant Monarch solemnly receives official notification of the Catholic Monarch's abdication]]
'''Powerword:''' Joseph Alois Ratzinger

'''Elected:''' 19 April 2005<br>
'''Abdicated:''' 28 February 2013<br>
'''Staff Broken:''' 31 December 2022

'''Known aliases:''' "Pope Emeritus", "Papa Ratzi", "The German Shepherd"

What rigorous conditioning makes a religious leader perfect for the papacy? Killing some motherfucking [[jews]] (and twelve inches of holy bulletproof glass). Currently Lord Benedict XVI has that shit on lock. In 1941, our good friend was [[holocaust|ethnic cleansing]] with [[Hitler|the best of them]], lulzing it up in the Hitler Youth. I mean, they had it coming right? If killing Christ and doing WTC isn't grounds for genocide, '''WHAT THE FUCK IS'''?

He knows his god is always right, and is ready to defend any crusaders in history, essentially saying that the Spanish conversion and extermination of south and central america was ok because they did it to spread Catholocism

And guess what job he had before he was Pope? [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4445279.stm He was head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith - the Inquisition].

During Easter '09, some bitch gave him what he deserved and punched him in the FACE! His [[special forces|Swiss Guard]] security pimps subsequently raeped her and dumped her corpse in a garbage bin. Boy, nothing says you trust God like 16 heavily armed bodyguards!
<br><br>
[[File:John paul ii in hospital after 1981 shooting macro.jpg|center|500px]]<br>
{{clear}}
===Secret boyfriend===
[[File:Pope benedict xvi's boyfriend monsignor georg ganswein.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Isn't he just ''dreamy?'']]
[[Image:Francis bacon screaming pope 1953.jpg|thumb|right|200px|This Pope's a screamer]]
News that Pope Benedict had a live-in buttbuddy came as a total shock to the Catholic world, who were unable to accept that a Pontiff would want to have sex with an adult. Archbishop '''Georg Gänswein''' was born in 1959 and is still renowned for his good looks. Referred to in Italian as [[Gorgeous George|''Bel Georgio,'']] he has attained something of celebrity status for a priest, being photographed, skiing, playing tennis, and flying a private plane, and even [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1539681/Gorgeous-Georgs-priestly-chic-inspires-a-new-Versace-show.html inspiring fashion designers.]

Georg was already a fixture at the Vatican when Benedict XVI was elected, but Pope Benny had hardly warmed the cushions on his throne when he set in motion Georg's rise to superstardom.
* 2005: Appointed the Pope's Principal Private Secretary
* 2006: Decorated as an Honorary Prelate
* 2013: Appointed as a Titular Archbishop and as prefect of the Pontifical Household

When Pope Benny quit, Gorgeous Georg [http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/archbishop-ganswein-intends-to-remain-prefect-of-papal-household/ shacked up with him at the Papal Pad] at Castel [[LOTR|Gandolfo.]] But like any other old queen who has been demoted, he has done nothing but [http://www.thetablet.co.uk/news/189/0/g-nswein-speaks-of-pain-of-no-longer-being-pope-s-right-hand-man- complain about his diminished status and bitch about the new Pope]<br><br>

<center>
{{frame|
<center><youtube>RKn0UrVVngc</youtube></center>
<center>'''Above:''' Benny and Georgie, sitting in a tree...</center>
|background=pink}}
</center>
{{clear}}
===Papacy pranked===
[[Image:Popesup4chan.jpg|thumb|Benedict XVI giving a shout-out to his 4chan niggaz]]

{{squote|THE civil servant who sent a shock email poking fun at the Pope's planned visit to Britain will keep his job, it emerged last night. [[b/|Steven Mulvain]], 23, has been cleared of any wrongdoing despite the papal trip being put in doubt by the [[lulz|jokey but offensive suggestions]] in the message. The email, sent across Whitehall departments, was said to be the result of a "[[alcohol|brain-storming" session]] by three or four [[ED|junior staff]]. It ridiculed the [[Catholic]] Church's stance against contraception, [[homosexuality]] and [[abortion]]. It was titled "The ideal visit would see..." and said Pope Benedict XVI could promote his own brand of "Benedict" [[condom]]s, bless a [[gay]] marriage and open an abortion clinic. Other suggestions included [[win|the 83-year-old performing forward rolls with children to promote healthy living]], spending the night in a council flat in Bradford and performing a charity duet with the [[Queen]]. The document listed "positive" people who he could meet - including Britain's Got Talent star [[asspie|Susan Boyle]], and rating her more influential than the [[pedobear|Archbishop of Westminster]], leader of the UK's [[pedo|Catholics]]. "Negative" Catholic figures included footballer [[chav|Wayne Rooney]] and singer [[Madonna]].|[http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2947230/The-Pope-dope-keeps-his-job.html#ixzz0mBZDRvtY Unimpeachable sauce]}}
<br>
{{clear}}
===Pics of the Pope===
<br>
{{cg||BenedictXVI|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Pedo catholic.jpg|
Image:merrychristmas.jpg|Merry Christmas.
Image:Pope-new-saber.jpg|The Sith Lord and his dark minions unsheathe the newest papal light saber.
Image:Evilpope.png|Niggaz? In my Church!?!!.
Image:Hitler_cardinal4.jpg|Pope Meets Hitler!!1!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:runningpope.jpg|His holy-shitness Pope Benedict XVI
Image:Empirestrikesback.jpg|Pope Benedict XVI
Image:CatholicRapeClock w Pope.jpg|Keeping track of time is easy for the pope.
Image:Pastor_of_Muppets.jpg|The Pope trolls Metallica.
Image:Pope2lz.png|The Pope exerts his power in a Force-lightning fury.
Image:popedj.jpg|Droppin dope beats.
Image:Pedopope2.jpg|A challenger appears!
Image:Ratzingirl.png|The "Transgender" Pope Ratzinger.
Image:DagothUr.jpg|The first pope.
Image:Bartolomew I.jpg|The Pope's eternal adversary.
Image:Niggerpope.jpg|The inevitable next pope.
Image:Vatican Inquisition.jpg|TIME TO KILL SOME MOTHERFUCKING JEWS.
Image:Pope Evil.jpg|[[Jeffrey Dahmer|He will eat your heart if you fuck with him]]. DO NOT FUCK WITH THE POPE
Image:Pope-benedict-palpatine.jpg|Meanwhile, in a Galaxy far, far, away...
File:Pope Equals Pedo.gif
File:Gotta bless em all.gif
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_01.jpg|Benedict
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_02.jpg|Benedict
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_03.png|Benedict
Image:Pandaprint.jpg|Benedict
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Art_-_01.jpg|Benedict - Art
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Art_-_02.jpg|Benedict - Art
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Art_-_03.jpg|Benedict - Art
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Art_-_04.jpg|Benedict - Art
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_01.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_02.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_03.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_04.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_05.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_06.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_07.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_08.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_09.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_10.png|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Captions_-_11.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Certified_Psychotic.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Eats_Babies.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Marxism.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Armored_Car.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_On_Birth_Control.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Quit_-_01.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Gay.jpg|Benedict - Captions
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Fauxpics_-_01.jpg|Benedict - Fauxpics
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Fauxpics_-_02.jpg|Benedict - Fauxpics
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Fauxpics_-_03.jpg|Benedict - Fauxpics
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Fauxpics_-_04.jpg|Benedict - Fauxpics
Image:Pope_-_Benedict_-_Fauxpics_-_05.gif|Benedict - Fauxpics
Image:Pope_-_Dark_Side_-_01.jpg|Dark Side
Image:Pope_-_Dark_Side_-_02.jpg|Dark Side
Image:Pope_-_Dark_Side_-_03.jpg|Dark Side
Image:Pope_-_Dark_Side_-_04.jpg|Dark Side
Image:Pope_-_Dark_Side_-_05.jpg|Dark Side
Image:Pope_-_Francis_-_01.jpg|Francis
Image:Pope_-_Francis_-_02.jpg|Francis
Image:Pope_-_General_-_01.jpg|General
Image:Pope_-_General_-_02.jpg|General
Image:Pope_-_General_-_Comics_-_01.jpg|General - Comics
Image:Pope_-_General_-_Comics_-_02.gif|General - Comics
Image:Pope_-_General_-_Comics_-_03.gif|General - Comics
Image:Pope_-_General_-_Comics_-_04.gif|General - Comics
Image:Pope_-_General_-_Comics_-_05.jpg|General - Comics
Image:Pope_-_General_-_Comics_-_06.jpg|General - Comics
Image:Pope_-_John_Paul_-_01.jpg|John Paul
Image:Pope_-_John_Paul_-_02.gif|John Paul
Image:Pope_-_John_Paul_-_03.jpg|John Paul
Image:I_See_You_Masturbating.jpg|John Paul
Image:Pope_-_New_Candidates_-_01.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Pope_-_New_Candidates_-_02.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Pope_-_New_Candidates_-_03.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Pope_-_New_Candidates_-_04.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Pope_-_New_Candidates_-_05.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Pope_-_New_Candidates_-_06.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Pope_-_New_Candidates_-_07.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Pope_-_New_Candidates_-_08.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Pope_-_New_Candidates_-_09.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Spidey_-_Why_am_i_not_the_pope.jpg|New Candidates
Image:Bear_Pope_Blesses_You.jpg|New Candidates
File:Pope Benedict XVI.jpg|He is Palpatine (Darth Sidious)
File:Weirdpopebymarsarts.jpg
File:RingPope.jpg
</gallery>
|}}<br><br>
{{clear}}

==Pope John Paul II: [[Nevar forget]]==
[[Image:Pope fire.JPG|thumb|250px|FIRE!]]
[[File:Maurizio cattelan pope john paul ii struck by meteorite.jpg|250px|thumb|Let him who is without sin...]]
'''Powerword:''' Karol Józef Wojtyła

'''Elected:''' 16 October 1978<br>
'''Murdered:''' 2 April 2005

'''Known aliases:''' "JPII"/"JP2", "Pope Ringo"

Pope John Paul II was born in 1977 in California, and is an [[porn|adult film]] actress of Vietnamese and Chinese extraction whose numerous films and photos became widely distributed on the internet during the early 2000s, especially through P2P file sharing and TGP galleries.

He had breast implants midway through his career and is known for a buxom figure and numerous hardcore [[anal sex|joys with boys]].His favorite position is the reverse cowboy, so the [[shota|little boys]] don't see his face as he [[raep]]s them.

Although his name is often pronounced "Maiko", he actually pronounces it as "Meeko".

His body, covered with apparent lightning burns, was recently found by his personal assistant [[Waylon Smithers]] after Smithers sensed what he termed "a great disturbance in the Force". Thus began the bloody process of selecting a new Pope to rule the world's quivering masses of Catholics.

<center>[[Image:Stfupope.jpg]]</center>

===Murder===
[[File:Queen laughs at pope's death.jpg|thumb|right|180px|JPII RIP: The Governor of a Protestant Church mourns]]
Pope John Paul II simply would not die. He got feebler and feebler, and more and more demented with [[Alzheimer's]] until the Vatican Guard were practically pulling strings to make him wave to crowds.

Completely gaga, he was becoming more and more of an embarrassment, and left the Vatican facing the problem of what procedure to follow when a Pope is senile: Since the Pope is infallible, this means that he might accidentally declare that Africa is made of pancakes, or that playing [[Call of Duty]] has become one of the seven deadly sins. Hell, he might even call off that long-standing ban on contraception! This was clearly [[srs bsns]] and the Pope had to die.

Accordingly, the next time John Paul II collapsed on the floor, he was denied water (the quickest way to hasten death) and sure enough [http://content.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1664189,00.html dropped off the twig just a few days later.]

The Vatican even [http://lubbockonline.com/stories/091805/wor_091805112.shtml#.WBiy-uOLRdg issued a press statement] that the Pope had remained lucid to the last and that his last statement on Earth was the sentence: '''"Let me go to the house of the Father."'''

As you can see from the following video, this is [[Bullshit|completely credible,]] since a few days earlier the Pope was clearly 100 per cent sane and capable of speaking coherently for himself during his final public appearance.<br><br>

<center><youtube>FM-ewBzgJxg</youtube><br>
'''Above:''' In no way completely staged.</center><br>

====Disregard that; I suck cassocks====

Apparently those "last words" were deemed unsatisfactory, and it was later announced that John Paul II's final message for the masses was:
{{quote|'''It is love which converts hearts and gives peace. To all humanity, which today seems so lost and dominated by the power of evil, selfishness and fear, our resurrected Lord gives us His love which forgives, reconciles and reopens the soul to hope.'''}}

And if you believe that, I've got a pair of waterproof sandals and a bishopric going cheap.

[[Category: People|Pope, The]]

===Depicting Pope Polack===
<br><br>
{{cg||JohnPaulII|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Pope Rock.jpg
Image:Pope Darkside.jpg|Do not get on his dark side!
Image:PopeNiggaPlease.jpg|The pope sees right through your bullshit
Image:PopeKooky.gif|Trippy John Paul liked a lick of the old toadstool
File:Popeball.gif
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Slowpope.jpg|ALL HAIL THE SLOWPOPE!
Image:Pope-toosoon.jpg|The Vatican's zombie leader
Image:Pope nun ASL.jpg|brb, church
Image:Childfucker.jpg|
Image:Robopope1221.png|RoboPope
File:O rly father pope john paul ii.jpg
File:savile_pope.jpg|This one writes itself, really
Image:nazi_john_paul_2.jpg|
Image:John_paul_2_pedo‎.png|Kids everywhere
Image:pope_engineer.jpg|John Paul 2 as Engineer from TF2
File:Pope john paul ii 25 years of laughs.jpg
Image:Papiez_z_boxxy.png|JPII with Boxxy
File:Popemongler.jpg|I'll mongle your flock!
File:John paul ii facepalm.jpg|Observing Facepalm Sunday
File:Pope john paul ii kisses tarmac.jpg|Muslim Pope
</gallery>}}<br>
{{clear}}
==Pre-internet Popes==
<pre>
░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄
░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▄▄▄█████▄▄▀▄
░░░░░░░░▄█▀▒▀▀▀█████████▄█▄
░░░░░░▄██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▒▀▒▀▄▒▀▒▀▄
░░░░▄██▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▄
░░░░██▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▌
░░░▐██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐█
░▄▄███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█
▐▒▄▀██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐▌
▌▒▒▌▒▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▀▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▌
▐▒▀▒▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▒▐
░█▒▒▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▒▀▒▒▐▒▄▀██▀▒▒▒▌
░░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█
░░░▀▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀
░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▐▒▒▒▒▒▐▒▒▒▒▄▀
░░▄▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▒▒▒▀▄▄▒▒▒▌▒▒▒▐▀▀▀▄▄▄
▄▀░▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▄▄▄▒▄▄▀▌▒▒▒▌░░░░░░
▐▌░░░▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀░░░░░░░
░█░░░░░▀▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀░█░░░░░░░
░░█░░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀░░░░█░░░░░░
░░░█░░░░░░░░░▌▀▀▀▀▀▀▐░░░░░▐▌░░░░░
</pre>

'''Above:''' The earliest computer-generated Pope, John Paul ASCII (1983)<br><br>

The Papacy is very ancient indeed, what with having been founded by Peter the Apostle and all, which was pre-internet, pre-electricity, pre-printing-press, pre-illuminated manuscript, pre-pretty much everything except Jesus, of whom it was post. But you can only go back so far before it all starts getting a bit confused. Pius VIII? Clement XIII? Who gives a shit, really. But if you talk to your grandparents, you might find that in between drooling mashed potato and looking out the window, they can recall a dim and distant past in which Popes didn't have Twitter accounts and the Vatican didn't even have a website, and even the appearance on TV of a Pope was a notable occasion. Here they are (the Popes, not your grandparents, retard).

===Pope John Paul I===
[[File:Murdered pope john paul i.jpg|right|thumb|160px|Say bye-bye]]
'''Elected:''' 26 August 1978<br>
'''Murdered:''' 28 September 1978

'''Known aliases:''' "The Smiling Pope", "Papa Luciani", "You're fucking dead, kiddo"

Was Pope for just over a month. Had said he was going to abolish the Catholic ban on contraception. Was planning to reform the Vatican Bank. Wanted to clear the Mafia out of Vatican City.

Died suddenly in the middle of the night, of no known cause because there was no autopsy. Depending on who's telling the story, he was seriously ill, had heart problems, was a heavy smoker, never smoked, had low blood pressure or high blood pressure, had an irregular heart-beat, had no health problems for years, had gone to bed complaining of chest pains, had never complained of chest pains to his doctor at any point in his life, either found propped up in bed or on the floor, with an open book or some financial documents on his lap or just holding his spectacles (which may have been on the floor instead), had an expression of great agony on his face or one of peaceful repose as though falling asleep, and it happened as early as 9pm or as late as 4am.

A few years later, the head of the Vatican Bank was murdered in London and his secretary fell from the fifth-storey window of her own office. Nothing to see here, move along.
{{clear}}
===Pope Paul VI===
[[File:Pope paul vi and impopester.jpg|thumb|right|180px]]
'''Elected:''' 21 June 1963<br>
'''Murdered:''' Mid-1970s, date unknown<br>
'''Papacy officially ended:''' 6 August 1978

'''Known aliases:''' "The Impopester"{{jew}}

Pope Paul VI was an ugly bat-eared dwarf whose papacy was a massive turn-off because he looked like he was permanently constipated and constantly agonised over everything he said, making Catholics want to slap him in irritation.

Consequently the Swiss Guard cut a deal with the Jew, who was still pissed about losing John XXIII (see below) and Paul VI was imprisoned and [http://www.tldm.org/News3/impostor.htm replaced with a body-double who continued the papacy in a way more satisfactory to the Vatican and the Jew.]

It's all true, and conspiracy theorists would never be so stupid as to rely on photographs taken years apart and from different angles as evidence.
{{clear}}
===Pope John XXXIII{{jew}}===
[[File:Kike lover pope john xxiii.jpg|thumb|100px|right]]
'''Elected:''' 28 October 1958<br>
'''Died:''' 3 June 1963

'''Known aliases:''' "Rabbi of Rome", "The Consecrated Kike", "The Holy Heeb"

Big fat bastard, looked like a Bond villain, rescued [[Jews|the Jew]] during [[WWII|World War II]], the Jew rewarded him by [[George W Bush|rigging the Vatican election]] and making him Pope, and then once he was safely on the throne [https://web.archive.org/web/20140302203528/http://archive.catholicherald.co.uk/article/14th-may-1965/1/our-eyes-have-been-cloaked he declared the Jews innocent of killing Jesus] and asked for Israel's forgiveness (the Jew is now [http://www.raoulwallenberg.net/roncalli/articles-11/pope-john-xxiii-jews/ trying to get John XXIII declared a Jew-saint] in return).

As you might expect from someone who had curried favor with the Jew, John XXIII lived to a ripe old age and nothing bad happened to him at all.
{{clear}}
==Popery potpourri==
[[File:Pope omega.jpg|right|170px|thumb|Pope Omega the Last]]
* '''Antipopes:''' [[100 years ago|During the Middle Ages,]] a [[Goatse|schism]] was ripped in the space-time continuum, allowing Popes from another dimension to enter ours. The first of these antimatter Popes was [[Dr Who|Omega]] and for several hundred years he and his battalions of antipopes fought the Vatican for control of the Earth. [https://www.britannica.com/topic/antipope There were around 30 of them, and they all got sucked into the void] when Harry Potter cast a spell and things returned to normal, which is why Christfags hate and fear him.

* '''Popess:''' Some time in the Middle Ages, a chick bluffed her way into the clergy and ended up getting elected Pope. She was finally rumbled when she gave birth during a procession, and [http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/08407a.htm the Catholic Church has written her out of history.] She was formally damned for having had heterosexual sex with an adult, in contravention of all Church teaching, but then made a saint for having refused to use contraception. Tch. Women, eh?

* '''Possessed Pope:''' Benedict IX was appointed Pope at the age of 20 and decided to take Roman Emperor Caligula as his role model, indulging in numerous rapes and murders, and was rumored to be a bit [[Bestiality|too fond of his flock if you know what we mean.]] His entry into the history books was therefore guaranteed, with [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=8z2ZEOE-azoC&pg=PA47&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false one rave review] noting: "It seemed as if a demon from hell, in the disguise of a priest, occupied the chair of Peter and profaned the sacred mysteries of religion by his insolent courses."

* '''Zombie Pope:''' Pope Formosus (816 – 4 April 896) was not a pope-ular guy. After his reign, his corpse was dug up by his successors and put on trial. It was found guilty, Formosus's papacy was officially declared void, and [https://www.britannica.com/biography/Formosus his corpse was flung into the River Tiber.] However, it was soon rumoured that Formosus's recovered corpse was working miracles among Rome's peasants. The Pope who had Formosus put on trial was overthrown and found strangled, so it seems the zombie Pope had the last laugh.
{{clear}}
==Pandemoniacal Popes==
<br>
<center>
{{frame|<center><gallery>
File:Pope=666=antichrist numerology.jpg
File:Holy roman emperor henry iv surrendering crown to pope antichrist.gif
File:Pope alexander vi (1431- 1503) as antichrist.jpg
File:Antichrist pope fed to satan, jena codex 1490-1510.jpg
File:Pope leo x (1475 -1521) as antichrist.jpg
File:Antichrist pope sells blessings as jesus expels moneylenders, lucius cranach 1521.jpg
File:Generic renaissance pope as antichrist riding beast of apocalypse.jpg
File:Antichrist identified as pope.png
File:Generic renaissance pope as antichrist on throne.jpg
File:Monster shitting out pope, illus, arrival of three graces into anglia C16.png
File:Thomas beard pope is antichrist intro, pub 1625.jpg
File:Lucifer and the pope in hell, dante illus william blake 1805.jpg
File:Pope Nicholas III headfirst down a well of fire, dante illus blake 1805.jpg
File:Pope paul vi reptilian.jpg
File:"Devil lives in vatican" daily mirror 12 march 2010.jpg
File:Satan appears on robes of pope benedict xvi.jpg
File:Vatican struck by lightning on night of benedict xvi abdication.jpg
File:Pope francis makes sign of the horns.jpg
File:Satan blesses obama and pope francis.png
File:Shadow reveals pope francis is satan.jpg
File:Martin luther gets triggered.jpg
</gallery></center>|border=red|background=orange}}
<br><br>
[[File:Martin luther quote am certain pope is antichrist.jpg|500px|center]]<br>
</center>
{{clear}}
==Videos==
<center>{{frame|{{fv|Pope Vids|background-color:red;|font-weight:bold;
|<center><youtube>cQ9sJVJMiYM</youtube></center>
;A New Pope
|<center><youtube>fHRDfut2Vx0</youtube></center>
;A tribute to the Pope
|<center><youtube>q-aNtVZyMHA</youtube></center>
;Beatication of JP2
|<center><youtube>s8m9e2uKnyw</youtube></center>
;Pope blesses breakdance
}}|border=red|background=red}}</center>

==See Also==
[[File:Vatican troops on parade swiss guardsmen.jpg|thumb|280px|right|Not a harlequin ID parade, it's actually the Swiss Guard (AKA "The Pope's battalions")]]
*[[Catholic]]
*[[Christianity]]
*[[Richard Dawkins|Dawkins, Richard]] - world's worst case of Pope-envy
*[[God]]
*[[Jesus]]
*[[Mexico]]
*[[Nazi]]
*[[Pedophilia]]
*[[Rape Clock]]
*[[Rational Response Squad]] - atheifags with so much [[USI]] that they think the Pope's commandos are out to kill them
*[[Jimmy Savile|Satan]]
*[[Witchcraft]]

==External links==
[[File:Girolamo da treviso protestant allegory 1542-4.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John demonstrate the correct way to dispose of surplus Popes]]
* [http://www.archiviosegretovaticano.va/content/archiviosegretovaticano/en.html The Vatican Secret Archives homepage]
* [http://thesefootballtimes.co/2015/07/05/football-and-vatican-city/ Vatican City football league history]
* [http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/04/01/take-him-to-court.html How George W Bush granted Benedict XVI immunity over the pedo cover-up]
* [http://www.spiegel.de/international/damned-lies-and-statistics-is-the-vatican-a-rogue-state-a-460967.html Vatican City has highest crime rate on Earth]
* [http://www.template.hostelsclubblog.com/property/33/index.php#Roman+Priest+Calendar+2014 Order the official 'Hottest Priests' calendar 2017!]
* [http://www.thegailygrind.com/2013/12/09/meet-hottest-catholic-priests-vatican-city-new-2014-calendar/ Curia cuties in the 'Hot Priests' calendar 2014]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KilglnuzEJM Vatican priest busted for 100k CP collection]
* [http://sass.buttes.org/forum/viewtopic.php?id=17258 BASEMENT POPE~<3]
* {{yt|u|vatican|The Pope has a Youtube.}}
* [http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/index.htm Pope on the internets.]
* [http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?sid=0351ec7bd07055a610315538f5bf517f&gid=7937599446 Facebook faggotry.]
* {{archive|pLPSK|The 12 Evilest Pope Pictures}}

{{Christianity}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Nao May 5, [[2011]]|[[Drug]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Aaron Barr]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article February 18 & 19, [[2016]]|[[Null]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Valentine's Day Massacre]]}}
[[Category:Cults]][[Category:Dying Alone]][[Category:Incels]][[Category:Lulz History]][[Category:Nazis]][[Category:Otherkin]][[Category:People]][[Category:Religion]][[Category:Satanism]][[Category:Truth]]