2025-08-17T07:55:30Z

CLU: Undo revision 1930394 by CLU (talk)

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<em>No Article of the Now currently set. [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Queue|Submit one here]]!</em>
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'''Features:'''
* Automatically hides Table of Contents
* Hides edit sections
* Maintains header formatting within scroll area

[[Category:XOTN Templates]]
</noinclude>

Template:XOTN/AOTN

2025-08-17T07:54:04Z

CLU: Undo revision 1930392 by CLU (talk)

<div class="aotn-container">{{#if:{{{featured|false}}}|
<div class="aotn-content">
<div class="aotn-header" style="text-align:center; padding:10px; background:#f0f0f0; border-bottom:1px solid #ccc;">
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<div class="aotn-placeholder" style="text-align:center; padding:20px; background:#f9f9f9; border:1px solid #ddd;">
<em>No Article of the Now currently set. [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Queue|Submit one here]]!</em>
</div>
}}</div><includeonly>{{#if:{{{featured|}}}|[[Category:Current AOTN]]}}</includeonly><noinclude>
This template displays the Article of the Now with scrollable content and hidden TOC.

'''Parameters:'''
* title = Article title
* image = Image filename
* article = Article name to transclude (e.g., "Pedophilia")
* content = Full article content (manual entry)
* summary = Brief summary (fallback)
* link = Link to full article
* date = Date set
* expires = Expiration date
* editor = Who set it
* featured = true/false

'''Features:'''
* Automatically hides Table of Contents
* Hides edit sections
* Maintains header formatting within scroll area

[[Category:XOTN Templates]]
</noinclude>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/AOTN

2025-08-17T07:53:13Z

CLU:

<div class="xotn-section" id="aotn">
{{XOTN/AOTN
|title=Pedophilia
|article=Pedophilia
|link=Pedophilia
|date=2025-08-17
|expires=2025-08-19
|editor=[[User:CLU]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-size:9pt; margin-top:10px; padding:5px; background:#f0f0f0; border-radius:3px;">
'''What have I missed?'''<br/>
[[Party Van]] was 2 days ago • [[Vladislav Roslyakov]] was 4 days ago • [[Josef Mengele]] was 6 days ago
</div>

2025-08-17T07:08:19Z

CLU:

<div class="xotn-section" id="aotn">
{{XOTN/AOTN
|title=Pedophilia
|image=Jailbait3111111.jpg
|summary='''Pedophilia''' (or '''p [[æ]] dophilia''') is a word which [[Americunts|Americans]] can't say right. It is also a brain problem where the subject is sexually turned on by the [[jailbait|damn fucking young]] (3 to 13 years old), but most of the people busted for kiddyfiddling are busted as a first offense for going after 13-17, whereas the ones going after under 13 usually get away with it for a long time until they start to obsess over the infamous [[baby fuck]].
All pedophiles are universally hated and despised because they are all fucking immature [[asshole]]s.

Pedophiles work within a similar system George Lucas copied for the Jedi idea in Star Wars. There is an Master "a.k.a. deaddrop" (see [[nexopia]]) and a Padawan, "a.k.a. republican". Famous pedos include, [[Jack McClellan]], [[Michael Jackson]], [[Jerry Sandusky]], [[Alcon#Freesaiyan|Michael Towers]] and any leading member of [[Christianity|the Roman Catholic Church]]. A first time offender going after a 17 year old and then caught by [[Chris Hansen]] might look normal. But a long-term pedophile is {{yt|u|GNRandSTP911|typically an ungainly and unattractive male person possessing a bad shave, a look of southern inbreeding, and will play at home with children's toys}}. He may have had a light colored van with highly tinted windows, which he uses to kidnap and fuck the shit out of your children. If no van, then the long term pedophile is skilled at child grooming and will form a long-term attachment before molesting the child. But remember, Chris Hansen is always watching.

It should also be noted that there are no female pedophiles. Actually, there are but they do not do such things online but instead with their 16 yr old jock students who, to them, are just plain lucky, but this does not mean it will happen to you, in fact, it will not. Wrong, women are incapable of pedophilia because women are 1, not attracted to men, and 2, do not want sex. Thusforth pedophilia from females is impossible - if you have seen one, they are either a [[trap]] or mere henchmen. Pedophilia in men starts at the age of 13 where they start to find their 13 female classmates attractive. This however remains in males even through their upper [[Teenager|teen years]], they are still attracted to the same 13 year old girls instead of girls their own age. Males even at the age of 20 are still attracted to 13 year olds, they instead settle for a fat 15 year old (if they are not in college) or a decent 20 year old (if they are in college). When a male turns 30, he goes through a stage of "commitment" in which he finds a decent lady (usually around the age of 25, just when they are dropping out of college) to get married to and live with. Even through their 30s, men are still attracted to the exact same 13 year old girls. As a man reaches 40, he is not longer attracted to his wife and begins using the internet to talk to younger girls on [[Facebook]] or [[Yahoo|Yahoo chatrooms]]. At the age of 40 is when men start hitting on the babysitter, niece, or generally whoever reminds them of 13 year old girls, which usually results in marital problems, job problems, and related issues. When a man turns 50, his wife is completely done with sex and therefore the man must resort to actually pursuing his dreams of pedophilia. What now goes through his head is "if I'm gonna cheat on my wife, it might as well be with those 13 year old girls I've been putting off for so long". A lot of men are just [[Mental illness|fucked up]]. This is when they begin their plan to finally realize their hidden fantasy. Between then and the time they actually go out and do it can take anywhere from 3 days to 30 years, then as they finally meet the young girl they hope to get freaky deaky with, Gary Oak comes out of their bedroom zipping up his pants, followed by Chris Hansen who owns you before the police put the permanent banhammer on your ass. Your life is over, good job.
|link=Pedophilia
|date=2025-08-17
|expires=2025-08-19
|editor=[[User:CLU]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-size:9pt; margin-top:10px; padding:5px; background:#f0f0f0; border-radius:3px;">
'''What have I missed?'''<br/>
[[Party Van]] was 2 days ago • [[Vladislav Roslyakov]] was 4 days ago • [[Josef Mengele]] was 6 days ago
</div>

Encyclopedia Dramatica:XOTN/Current/AOTN

2025-08-17T07:07:13Z

CLU:

<div class="xotn-section" id="aotn">
{{XOTN/AOTN
|title=Pedophilia
|image=ED_logo.png
|summary='''Pedophilia''' (or '''p [[æ]] dophilia''') is a word which [[Americunts|Americans]] can't say right. It is also a brain problem where the subject is sexually turned on by the [[jailbait|damn fucking young]] (3 to 13 years old), but most of the people busted for kiddyfiddling are busted as a first offense for going after 13-17, whereas the ones going after under 13 usually get away with it for a long time until they start to obsess over the infamous [[baby fuck]].
All pedophiles are universally hated and despised because they are all fucking immature [[asshole]]s.
[[Image:Baby_pedophile.gif‎|right|thumb|Given that its very difficult to prosecute when two minors have sex, some resourceful pedophiles think they may have found a loophole.]]
[[Image:Imagefapdog.jpg|left|thumb|[http://www.imagefap.com DO IT TODAY!]]]

Pedophiles work within a similar system George Lucas copied for the Jedi idea in Star Wars. There is an Master "a.k.a. deaddrop" (see [[nexopia]]) and a Padawan, "a.k.a. republican". Famous pedos include, [[Jack McClellan]], [[Michael Jackson]], [[Jerry Sandusky]], [[Alcon#Freesaiyan|Michael Towers]] and any leading member of [[Christianity|the Roman Catholic Church]]. A first time offender going after a 17 year old and then caught by [[Chris Hansen]] might look normal. But a long-term pedophile is {{yt|u|GNRandSTP911|typically an ungainly and unattractive male person possessing a bad shave, a look of southern inbreeding, and will play at home with children's toys}}. He may have had a light colored van with highly tinted windows, which he uses to kidnap and fuck the shit out of your children. If no van, then the long term pedophile is skilled at child grooming and will form a long-term attachment before molesting the child. But remember, Chris Hansen is always watching.

It should also be noted that there are no female pedophiles. Actually, there are but they do not do such things online but instead with their 16 yr old jock students who, to them, are just plain lucky, but this does not mean it will happen to you, in fact, it will not. Wrong, women are incapable of pedophilia because women are 1, not attracted to men, and 2, do not want sex. Thusforth pedophilia from females is impossible - if you have seen one, they are either a [[trap]] or mere henchmen. Pedophilia in men starts at the age of 13 where they start to find their 13 female classmates attractive. This however remains in males even through their upper [[Teenager|teen years]], they are still attracted to the same 13 year old girls instead of girls their own age. Males even at the age of 20 are still attracted to 13 year olds, they instead settle for a fat 15 year old (if they are not in college) or a decent 20 year old (if they are in college). When a male turns 30, he goes through a stage of "commitment" in which he finds a decent lady (usually around the age of 25, just when they are dropping out of college) to get married to and live with. Even through their 30s, men are still attracted to the exact same 13 year old girls. As a man reaches 40, he is not longer attracted to his wife and begins using the internet to talk to younger girls on [[Facebook]] or [[Yahoo|Yahoo chatrooms]]. At the age of 40 is when men start hitting on the babysitter, niece, or generally whoever reminds them of 13 year old girls, which usually results in marital problems, job problems, and related issues. When a man turns 50, his wife is completely done with sex and therefore the man must resort to actually pursuing his dreams of pedophilia. What now goes through his head is "if I'm gonna cheat on my wife, it might as well be with those 13 year old girls I've been putting off for so long". A lot of men are just [[Mental illness|fucked up]]. This is when they begin their plan to finally realize their hidden fantasy. Between then and the time they actually go out and do it can take anywhere from 3 days to 30 years, then as they finally meet the young girl they hope to get freaky deaky with, Gary Oak comes out of their bedroom zipping up his pants, followed by Chris Hansen who owns you before the police put the permanent banhammer on your ass. Your life is over, good job.
|link=Pedophilia
|date=2025-08-17
|expires=2025-08-19
|editor=[[User:CLU]]
|featured=true
}}
</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-size:9pt; margin-top:10px; padding:5px; background:#f0f0f0; border-radius:3px;">
'''What have I missed?'''<br/>
[[Party Van]] was 2 days ago • [[Vladislav Roslyakov]] was 4 days ago • [[Josef Mengele]] was 6 days ago
</div>